Review Revue - Natural Deodorant

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about Natural Deodorants and discuss overly kind music critics, accidentally absent fathers, and middle school announcements gone wrong.Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmThanks to our sponsor, My Bookie!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

They read real reviews with fake last names. They roast them and they play improv games. With hosts Riley and Spock and Jeffrey James. They just want a review. Oh, my God. It was already perfect. And that was the cherry on top. Anxiety. That was the cherry on the anxiety. That theme song came in from Gun Ho Kwok.

Yeah, that was amazing. That was incredible. Whoa, yeah. Still figuring out theme song situation, still doing fan submitted songs. So if you guys have anything, these are great. These are fantastic. Maybe we even continue doing this if we get enough of them. situation still doing fan submitted uh songs so if you guys have anything these are great maybe we even continue doing this if we get enough of them my fear is that my fear is that we run out

if that's the case then you and i start the show and we do acapella right we we do we go to pitch perfect land and so i'll go ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding How are you? What's new, pussycat? Whoa! I am on one today. I am. I'm absolutely on one. Yeah, that's our theme song.

Acapella is just you doing these weird big band classics, these pop 70s hits. I'm fine. Pella is just you doing these weird big band classics these pop 70s hits from yeah fine uh listen we're coming up on a year of um covid and uh I really I saw this um instagram kind of infographic about uh anniversary trauma um and I'm like oh that sounds familiar no i'm kidding it really does sound familiar and i feel the intense physical trauma in my body from this year in this absolute devastating hellscape um but i'm doing better um i'm on collagen so like i'm gonna live forever so i guess nothing matters to me. Easy.

Today's March 9th. March 11th was the last time you and I recorded in person, first of all. That's insane. That was the water bottle episodes? No, it was soap. Soap with Daniel. That was the last time I was in the HeadGum office, too. Both of us, I think.

Yeah. So that sucks. We're rounding third. I remember the last time that we hung out together, like non-distanced in person with a group. It was such a fun night. And we were like, oh my, it was around this time. And we're like, oh my god, we should go bowling all together next week. We were going to go bowling that weekend.

And then we all kind of one by one were like, maybe we shouldn't go. But in a couple weeks. Let's rain check for a couple weeks and then we'll yeah i even remember people going out that weekend and it was probably like you look back at it now there was like what 10 cases in la like it would have been fine actually but like i was like i was like you guys are going out like yeah i'm scared as shit yeah but yeah it's crazy to look at the numbers from back then i watched a video of sanjay gupta talking on march 9th last year being like hey so like it's a pandemic now and like the hosts were like sitting right next to each other and they're what do you mean but uh but yeah i mean you and i are uh you know gonna get vaccinated

soon hopefully um either find an extra dose that would go to otherwise go to waste or or you know wait our turn and your dad has gotten vaccinated my parents are getting vaccinated this weekend it's it's really looking up i think i think by may we'll be in a different position i think that's true how are you what have you been up to still yes yeah still just inhabiting the closet trying on different velvet jackets i mean you only have the though. So you're kind of just like... I got another. No, you did not. Oh, my God!

For what? I don't know. You never... I didn't think I was going to need the first one, but it's come in handy, Phil or otherwise. But we're not talking about the pandemic, because I'm getting bummed out.

No, well, we were, but we're not. No, we're talking about... We're going to shift gears in a really exciting way. We're not talking about the pandemic because i'm getting bummed out but we're not no we're gonna we're talking about like we're gonna shift gears in a really exciting way we're not talking about the pandemic let's let's like let's get it started let's get it started in here um we're talking about something that's like i can't even contain my excitement y'all this is like this going to blow your asses away. It's going to blow your asses. It's going to blow your asses. We're talking organic deodorant. Deodorant! Riley, have you ever used natural deodorant?

What's your experience? I have. So I remember when I learned, it took me way too long to learn that you don't want to use deodorant with aluminum in it. And I remember just being like, what? Really? And like, and then it's like the way it clogs like near the lymph nodes and for women can like cause early breast cancer. Like I was,

I was floored. And then it's like, I was one of the last people like in my circle to start using like better deodorant. I was like, I was like, wait, what,

what? Like, really? You need to not use that anymore. I'm like, what do you mean? I love this stuff. And so then I learned're like, really? You need to not use that anymore. I'm like, really? What do you mean? I love this stuff. And so then I learned that like, it's just, you know, the deodorants without all of the really harsh things that will give you diseases.

Terminal illnesses. Terminal illnesses in a way are just deodorants and not antiperspirants. So when I started using it i was like why am i fucking sweating i rubbed this stick on my arm for a long time and now i'm wet under my arms yeah that took a little adjustment it took me a while of for to find the right one that i enjoyed the smell of um so i use um so dove still dove has like a it's like called like zero percent something and it has zero aluminum in it so it's like the most natural dove one i guess listen so i don't know if this counts as like a natural deodorant that i should be using but hey it smells good for me

and it has zero aluminum so that's i feel like good um yeah it's i don't like to sweat but i know it's the bot like the body needs to do it the body needs to get that out i'm just only being sweaty what's the ideal response i want you to be like oh riley i totally get it like and i'm glad that you found the mix that works for you because i do sweat with this but it doesn't smell that's the thing that i was reading about this and it's actually got me thinking because i i still use antiperspirant i use dove men's plus care um clean comfort i don't think it has aluminum in it i just looked it up and it says that it has zero aluminum but it might not be an antiperspirant or they're lying i think the body, I lied.

Not that I love to sweat, but the body does need to sweat. It is the natural way to like. Yeah. And you can quote me on that. I'm a medical professional. That's the body's way of draining shit. Have you ever used like a natural deodorant? I haven't used a natural deodorant.

What I did do once was um malanin gets i tried their eucalyptus scented deodorant and it was not an antiperspirant i think that was my first time not using antiperspirant and yeah the sensation of sweating was it was a no-go i couldn't do it that day or year and also shocked to learn how much i do sweat without an antiferspirit. Like, did I just take a walk? And I'm like, oh, no. You know how people, like, name their dogs Odie? Like, my friend Tucker has a dog named Odie. That is a name that Daniel and I want to name our dog.

What about Odor? Odor. Is their dog Odor? Odie? Odor. Like, smell? Yeah. Oh, I know.

Okay, this is a review. Both of mine are reviews from Toms of Maine, long-lasting, aluminum-free, natural deodorant, tea tree scented. This one is from Zane B. Barl. Barl? Barl.

Okay, this is a four-star review from Zane Barl. Barl? Barl. Okay, this is a four-star review from Zane Barl. The title is, Good, but caused my skin to peel. I previously bought some of that crystal spray stuff that's all natural. The bottles clogged, however, and didn't seem to work at all. I finally gave up and just bought a normal deodorant, and this worked great. However, I've never had deodorant cause my skin to peel and this did after three days i did not base my rating on this because it doesn't seem to happen to everyone according to the reviews i do not have any history of

deodorants causing my skin to peel it's like well yeah this my skin's peeling but but it's four stars because i guess it doesn't happen to everyone else so it must be good um but my yeah no my skin's peeling, but it's four stars because I guess it doesn't happen to everyone else, so it must be good. But my skin's absolutely peeling off of my body. But don't listen to me. Everyone says it's great. No, it's really good, though. It's just for me, there is skin on the floor from the deodorant. It's like a music critic. An album comes out.

Portugal, the man's new album, is a 10 out of 10 for me every track made me hate it more and more the music didn't seem to be inspired and the lyrics were cheesy in fact it seems like his biggest attempt at pop success and ironically it won't break him through because these songs are garbage that being the case art is subjective i'm not gonna say that it's not a 10 out of 10 because i don't want to have people not listen to it um great steven thank you so much for this first draft we're gonna put it in final draft final draft final draft yeah um it's good to go well yeah well uh no i mean i'm the editor right so it's like i kind of decide if it's good to go

or not and i'm gonna tell you for a fact that this is not a final draft um so listen i hear you i think your opinion is totally valid i think you made a type the biggest glaring mistake is you made a typo and you wrote 10 out of 10 um for the album hard to make a typo with numbers right i i couldn't agree more um so i think just change it and then send it on back to me why would i change it no no 10 out of 10 because i don't want people to not be a patron of his music of his art who am i to say what makes me qualified to talk about what people should listen to or not to give people advice well that's our job that's what the magazine does right no you just had your editor you said your editor which means that you just kind of put the paper together

i'm the editor of this paper whose job it is to tell people what we should and shouldn't listen to okay um when did pitchfork become the arbiter of taste when it came to music because when i started here we were just kind of goofing off yeah you really started when it was like at the ground level you weren't even incorporated yet yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right yeah yeah it was fun and now it's not as fun well now we're like we're like a big business we actually have a lot of readers and we get paid a good amount of money to really curate a sense of taste and style and listen this isn't you saying that it's like everyone should have the opinion you have. But be honest, if you don't think it was a good album, give it a low rating.

Is this because of the clothes that I'm wearing? Because, yeah, I don't like them either. But who am I not to wear them? All right. I'm just one man. You don't like the clothes that you're wearing? Loose fitting beige khakis, olive t-shirt that doesn't fit me very well. I'm not going to return them and make the company feel bad. Make them feel like I don't think anybody should be buying their stuff. Steven, you have been on this team for so long

and it's not because of your writing. You are the nicest guy I've ever met in my life. And it's also not necessarily a good thing. You are the nicest man I have ever met. And you need to not be that way. I'm gonna write you a check for $1,000. No, and you don't even have to publish the article. I just there's like, I want to clear the air here. You're getting upset. And I don't want you to be upset. Here you go. Don't cash it till Monday. I gotta move some money around. I'm not gonna No, don't do that for me it's just you are nice i'm here at pitchfork you know our you know our saying we're all a bunch of little devils and you are being too much of an angel okay so just like just leave a three out of ten and let's call it a day take a stand steven what if port Portugal the Man's album doesn't sell? That's blood on my hands.

You're an influential man. Just sign... Horns are growing out of my head. Just sign it off. Just say three out of ten and let's do it, huh? I don't know. Something doesn't feel right. Black wings going out of my back.

Come on, dude. Just three out of ten and we can do it again. All right? And by do it again, I mean you write another we can do it again all right and by do it again i mean you write another article all right all right i'll i'll rewrite it right here in this little pen that you have on your desk yeah here we go crossing it up it's like a deep red color oh it smells like don't do that this is blood just keep. The ink in this is blood. Just keep writing. Somehow grab your hand with force.

Burns. Get away from me. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. You are a bunch of devils. That's not figurative. I'm going to start my own, not even publication, journal. Cut to Good Morning America. Yeah, no, I just started putting really positive thoughts on a live journal, on a blog spot.

Wow. And I don't know, it sort of single-handedly got rid of Satan. And that's amazing. And Stephen, thank you so much for stopping by today. Look at the camera. Everyone, the man who dismantled the Dark Lord himself. Stephen Lee, everybody. Thank you don't clap don't clap because like who am i to say that i'm good to have you literally defeated the biggest force of evil

known to the universe so uh let's give this guy a big round any of us could have done it though no but you're the one who did come on i'm not modest everyone in the audience goes oh oh he's so sweet isn't he's just the sweetest no you are the most special person in the world officially yay he's so he's better than everyone and we should all listen to him i'm uncomfortable it's your life he's special he's the best he wakes up he looks at the last draft of the thing that he wrote portugal the man changes 10 out of 10 to 3 out of 10 it sends to his editor message comes back looks great steven you're the best little devil we got was it no it was a dream falls back all right this is uh one star of naked tie nakd tie crystal deodorant stone um it's a crystal deodorant i don't actually even fully know what that means i um i don't know what

that means yeah i think it's basically like it's it's a dry deodorant that you have to wet and then roll on. But here we go. This is from Allison. Do you want to give her a last name? Allison Bree. This is from Allison Bree. One star. It didn't work for me at all.

Also, who has the time to rub 30 times under each arm? I wish it worked, but it did nothing for me. And it's also time consuming to put on. The directions specifically say, rub 25 to 30 times under each arm, which takes forever. Hey, Brett, I'll be waiting in the car. We have reservation at eight at the Italian place in the corner. You almost ready? All right.

Yeah, I'll be right there. I just have to put on some deodorant. All right, because it's 7.50 and you know how strict they are about ready? All right. Yeah, I'll be right there. I just have to put on some deodorant. All right. Because it's 7.50, and you know how strict they are about getting a table. I know, I know. I'll be right there. It's just deodorant.

How long could it take? Exactly. It shouldn't. All right. I'll be in the car. Cut to Bridget's funeral. Yeah. I didn't get to say goodbye.

We had a reservation at jar and um she said it's for apm she said be out in the car as soon as possible because we need to make this reservation i was like i just need to put deodorant on and uh i did and it took 30 years. She's gone. And we didn't even get to have one last date. So I guess the moral of the story is be careful what deodorant you use. The crowd kind of chuckles. No, but I'm in mourning.

At the reception, your kid comes up. Hey, Dad. God, you got so big. Yeah. God, I didn't think you'd recognize me. It's crazy to, I guess, meet you. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I'm sorry that I even tried to use natural deodorant. It's just the aluminums, you know? I didn't want, and it's kind of ironic, right? Because I didn't want the aluminums to block my pores and then lead to a disease that might have me die earlier so I could be in your life. So that I could be a part of your life and you wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing a loved one. But instead, I was absent for like 20 years. Little girl comes up to my leg. Daddy, daddy. Oh, comes up to my leg. Daddy, dad.

Oh, come on. All right. Well, Lily, this is your grandpa. I'm really sorry. I'm just really sorry it had to happen like this. I wanted to do it in a more sensitive way, but here she is. Hey there, kiddo. What kind of, yeah, what kind of, do you spray on or?

Come on. No, Lily, go, go. Wait, just get some wait just don't get some just make sure she use it just let her use the aluminum ones all right like no harm no foul compared to this it's my mom's funeral and i i didn't want to get like this but you have no place to tell anyone what kind of fucking deodorant they should use i'm so sorry for my language but this is un-fucking-believable coming from you are you kidding never been here a day in my goddamn life now you're telling my daughter what deodorant she should use on a day like today you don't understand my side of it i was dressed up to go to a dinner i lifted one arm 25 times it seemed up and down i look up there's a new president in office my wife is gone i didn't

sleep for 30 years i didn't eat for 30 years i'm a stick at this point because of the deodorant so you only got one arm done i smell like shit on this side and i'm scared to even try to use deodorant now so excuse me if i try to tell the next generation not to make the same mistakes that i did and i'm sorry that I missed every milestone in your life. But guess what? I was putting natural deodorant on. Can I tell you a secret, dad? Come here, a little closer.

Yeah. You smell like shit. I deserve that. I deserve that, but I'm not going to stop trying to be your dad. There's no point. You've missed too much. There is is a point do you have a wife i'd love to meet her of course i do i i don't know i mean it's like i don't want her to get too attached to the idea of a father-in-law only to have you go try and put deodorant on your other arm and and be gone i won't use the same product i promise tina come here this is oh my god is this

your dad yeah this this is him um i'm i'm so sorry for your loss sir no it's i appreciate that i'm sorry that this is that we have to meet under these circumstances i'm yeah i'm great did you get to meet lily yeah oh he met yeah lily oh'm great. Did you get to meet Lily? Yeah. Oh, he met Lily. Oh, well, that's, I've always said that she, she looks so much like her grandfather. I'm so sorry, son. I feel self-conscious

because you told me that I smell like shit and I'm meeting your wife for the first time. And I just feel like, if I could just excuse me for just one moment. No, don't you dare. It's a different product. I swear to God, it's a different product. It's a different product.

Honey, let him go. God, he just, he wants to smell knife you don't know what this is like he goes to the corner like in his mind he's going like up and down at a normal pace but it's literally like scientifically fascinatingly slow

he finishes it is a barren wasteland yeah the big one hit Southern California. He was on the fault line. You should have just smelled like shit. 60 years gone because you wanted to smell like, yeah, eucalyptus. He bursts into tears why me why me i was trying to use natural deodorant i only wanted natural ingredients there's a pile of aluminum trash next to him you did this to me he dies of dehydration

the aluminum somehow smiles you just see this mound of trash kind of curl like used cans just kind of flip down a little bit. Should we do your last review? Here we go. This is again for the Toms of Maine. It is a four-star review from Narf. K-N-A-R-F. Last name for Narf.

Narf Biden. Narf Biden. He's the sort of disgraced Biden son. Narf Biden, four stars. Say no to BO. It's deodorant without aluminum. Worth a try. Did your school ever do the PSAs in middle school where they're like,

all right, guys, you guys are getting old. You're going through puberty. You got to put deodorant on. You're starting to smell bad. Did they ever do that? I don't remember that. Because in fifth grade, my music teacher gave an announcement at a morning assembly.

And he basically was like, all right, guys, this is deodorant. You really got to start using it. And then he demonstrated. And we were all like, oh, OK. I didn't know i smelled like that bad but i just like it's like a principal who's really nervous all right guys um i know i don't usually come to these i usually the vice president usually the vice principal god yeah usually the vice principal makes the

announcements but this is very important in a young person's development um say no to bo um bo is stands for body don't interrupt don't interrupt nelson um manners remember sticky yeah your hands specifically are sticky. Now, it's not everyone, looks at Nelson, but there are a few offenders here that do have body odor that is making it hard for the teachers and the student body. So here we go. This is antiperspirant deodorant, all right?

No aluminum, no unnatural products, but it will help you smell better. And guess what? If you guys want to date, you know, middle school is coming up. You got to smell good. All right. Are you giving these out or do we have to ask our parents to buy it? Let's do all questions at the end, Nelson. Here we go.

You take it. You uncap it. You just roll a little bit on this arm. Roll a little bit on that arm. Bada bing, bada boom. It takes five seconds. And you smell great for the it takes five seconds and you did that over your shirt all the kids start laughing nelson come on i'm like nervous now we see the sweat yeah that's a good idea that's actually a good that's actually a good idea let me put some on under the shirt here we got that's gonna take care of the sweating we see your nipples no you don't nelson i'm wearing an

undershirt because the last time you mentioned my nipples in the hallway made me go out and buy a six pack of Hanes. They look like pizzas. Everybody laughs. Pepperoni. Pepperoni. My nipples aren't sausage. Just, Nelson, would you be polite, quiet? I'm nervous. The best part is if you do sweat like me or anybody, it helps with the sweat.

Nelson, why are you always sick? Sorry, but like you bully me. I'm 40 years your senior and you always have a cold. My hands are sticky, I said. The vice principal like stands up from her chair. Hey, Peter, I don't think that you should be like yelling at Nelson in front of of the whole student but no i'm not yelling i'm not yelling at him i'm just like he keeps getting under my skin the entire point of you doing these morning announcements is that i don't get bullied in front of everybody right because otherwise nelson will rip me a new one

every fucking morning every morning the whole student body oh no i didn't say the word you think i said i should get up there. I should do the announcements. Ah! Nelson! Nelson! He just hawked a loogie into your water bottle, William. R. How are you not mad about that? Trotting up the stairs. Nelson! Nelson! He has light up sneakers. Nelson! Alright, I can take

this over, principal. The entire student body cracks up. Whatever, man. Whatever. Yeah, just make whatever announcement. So, hi, guys. It's me, Nelson. Thanks. As we all just heard, our principal thinks that we all

stink. Boo! It's not all of you. It's mostly Nelson. No, he said everyone. And you know what I think? What? I think he is the stink. Come on.

I mean, I'm not the stink. He's the stink. Stink. He's the stink. How are you able to control him this easily? He's the stink. You're not even a good... You don't do any extracurriculars.

I've never seen you with a friend. It's because my hands are sticky. Your hands are sticky. You have a cold all the time. This is your god. This is your man. They all rush the stage. Carry him.

He's the stink. Where are you taking me? Where are you taking me? Where are you taking me? Take him out back They take him to a flagpole They pull his undershirt down a little bit From his thing And then attach it to the flagpole

And hoist him up Wave him high boys My nipples are showing Pepperoni Elsa Everyone put your hands over your hearts i pledge allegiance to the stinky sausage of the united states of this school how do you guys all know it by heart and chanting it in unison. And to the Tallahassee of which it stinks, one sausage on the cheese,

stinky winky with liberty and justice. The vice principal for all. Catherine, what is this? I think there's a new principal in town. What? Leave him on the flagpole, Nelson. Aye, aye, Cap'n. I've got an office to decorate.

The students cheer. They pick her up and bring her into the office. They all go inside. It's left with just Nelson and the principal. Looks like it's just you and me. Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital. You need

an antibiotic. I shouldn't care about you, but you're gonna die. Oh, so now you care about little old Nelson. I've cared about you before. You just get under my fucking skin. Just like, you need to use deodorant. That's for your sake too. But instead, I'm hoisted on a flagpole.

My nipples showing through a sheer tank top because of you. It's because you're a stinky sausage. You smell like sausage. My nipples are normal. Is this why Sally doesn't want to kiss me? Yes. I asked her in a weird way. Then she said, that's the only reason?

She said, I don't want to be near Nelson because I'm worried I'm going to get some kind of incurable disease. Because it hasn't left his body in the better part of a grade. But she said about the smell, mostly. She said the smell, she said the sickness, she said

the sticky hands. Throw the deodorant down, I'll catch it. Alright, he shimmies to his back pocket, drops it. Cheers. Runs back into the building. Wait, that's enough! A gust of wind

and you just kind of start lightly blowing. Oh, god. Blowing in the breeze. Oh, God, honey. Honey, what happened? Yeah, I got hoisted. I got hoisted for talking about deodorant. It's so beautiful.

You blowing in the breeze like that. What do you mean? Oh, God. Well, it just makes me want to cry. It's so... I start... Get me down. I pledge allegiance to the stinky slug scent. No fucking way. It makes me wanna cry, it's so... I start to- Get me down.

I pledge allegiance to the stinky sloth. No fucking way. This shook me all week long. I got a rug. Oh yes, wait, which one did you get? Jeff sent me a couple photos. Here, I'll send you a jeff sent me a couple photos um various rugs he was contemplating yeah so i got uh so i'm in my parents house still and i never lived here they moved here like right before i went to college so i live i was here for like three weeks before i

left um and so my room has always just been this like kind of empty box with like furniture to just kind of fill the space. But now that I've been here so long, I have been decorating a little bit. So I got some art off Etsy and I got this rug, which Riley helped me pick out. I'm texting it to you right now. And it's warmed the space up. That rug really tied the fucking room together, man. Oh, my God. It's beautiful.

Yeah. So shout out Etsy. Shout out Camille Rugs, I think is what it's called. And yeah. Oh, my God. It is so gorgeous. It's awesome. It's red. It's kind of like geometric and oriental i love it i really love it oh that's stunning good for you what about you what's been shaking you there are at least two stray neighborhood cats that live on our block and one is black with kind of like a brownish face and the other one is kind

of striped brown gray black with big green eyes and i don't like cats um but i do like earning the trust of animals and so now here's where the problem is it's like oh my god so they will often kind of like lounge in our front or backyard um but you know usually it's like if they see us like through the window their eyes will get big and then they'll dart and they'll run away yeah so a couple weeks ago elizabeth and i started leaving out little saucers of water um just because we're like i hope they're getting water we didn't want to give them food because we don't want to be the place they rely on to like be fed and they don't look super skinny it's like so they're clearly getting food from somewhere um so we've started leaving out water on our front steps like right by our front door

and it took it took a long time they didn't drink out of it for a long we have one we have a little thing of water in the front and a little thing of water in our backyard because they can also get into our backyard um and they it took them a long time but now the striped one we don't see the black one as much but the striped one comes by now every day and drinks water and now when it sees us it's like if i'm sitting in our kind of front room with the window looking out into the front yard yeah um it will now see me and won't run away it'll just kind of stare at me for a while like unsure like still a little unsure but if it walks off it's walking off because it has like better things to do and not because it's like super scared that I'm looking at it.

That is like that is really nice. And the past two nights when we're locking up the house for the night, we looked at our front door and that brown stripe one sleeps on our front mat. Like curls up asleep on our front mat every night. That's so cute and then in the morning they'll like if if we're up early enough like before it gets up if we look at it it'll like look up at us but that's like big dilated peoples and then run under daniel's car because it gets really scared um so we were like like because elizabeth and i elizabeth hates cats i really don't like cats i think daniel like prefers dogs but is kind of indifferent but basically a household of people who do not enjoy cats.

Um, and so we're like, I guess we have a pet now, I guess like you're bummed about it. Well, because it's like, listen, we're not going to feed them.

Yeah. We're not going to touch them. Like they're, they're out the clearly outdoor little guys. Um, and they're like, they're, they're not're out the clearly outdoor little guys um and they're like they're they're not starving like they don't look pretty healthy um but now we do feel this weird sense of responsibility of like gotta refill the water outside i have a meeting in five minutes but i gotta give them water uh exactly exactly um and so which is just really frustrating and daniel was like joking he's like

what if we go what if now we have a cat instead of a dog i'm like don't even fucking say that um so that's what's been shaking me is that i guess now we're responsible for these cats which i never thought i would say because i think cats are awful i love cats especially since the dog bite because like my sister's cat is unbelievable she's hilarious she's talkative i don't think so she's cuddly she acts like a dog she's amazing okay that and that's the thing every time someone is like no my cat's great my cat acts like a dog that's what and like if you have to qualify and say like my cat is like a dog i don't know though there's definitely dogs that suck like i think it's kind of like the thing of like like capitalists will never admit that there's evils of capitalism but they'll be the first to be like

socialism will always go wrong it's like no like they both can be evil if they're taken to the extreme dogs can suck dogs can be great cats can suck can be great. I think cats get a bad rap. I think dogs get overhyped. I understand that. I'm just such a dog person. I've there's only been like two cats in my life I've ever enjoyed. But even then, I've never fully trusted a cat. And I think they can pick up on my fear of them. Well, I think people also misread the the the body language of cats. Like when cats squint at you that's them saying that they love you because it means that they feel comfortable enough with you to fall asleep near you so if a cat's going like this that means they're like basically they're literally saying i love you and so like when you know that it's like cats can give you the same feelings that dogs give

you and um but it does take more time i think like dogs some dogs just are trusting immediately and cats i think are usually like just more afraid but there's nothing better than a cat purring on your chest i've also never been bitten in the face by a cat so i'm biased jeffrey do you have anything to plug um i have uh i have nothing to plug i got kirkwood goods um our watch the watches are i always say are because it's like a small business but like it's just me um watches are being serviced so but they're still available for pre-order so if you're interested uh kirkwoodgoods.com what do you have anything to plug um we are doing so when this

comes out it'll be the 16th. We're doing two more shows of Into the Mist for this month. We're doing the 19th and the 26th. So if you haven't come back, we have three new rooms. And Garrett, one of our incredible patrons, he came last week. So at this time, he came on the 5th. And he's already been like two times before and he was like the the new rooms are like incredible these are garrett's your words not mine that he was like

he's like the new rooms are so interactive and so engaging that it's worth the price of another ticket if you want to come again um these new rooms are absolutely incredible and we have a lot of updated material in the rooms that you've already seen a lot of new stuff Daniel and I have a lot of new jokes and material so it's just super fun we get more and more people coming every week and like from a lot of different countries too which is really it's just such a good time so

we have two more shows this month and yeah you can follow Mefri on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at JeffBoyRD you can follow the show on Instagram at jeffrey james and on twitter at jeff boyardee you can follow the show on instagram at review review and on twitter at review review show and um on reddit at r slash review review um and if you want to be a patron for riley and jeff you go to patreon.com slash riley and jeff and you can follow Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa

on Twitter at RileyCoyote. Riley, should we thank some VI patrons? Yeah. At this point, I think everybody, I think the first, well, not everybody because some people are putting late orders in, but people will have their hoodies. As we were recording this,

I had UPS delivery notifications. Hallie got her hoodie. Yeah. I'm very excited to get mine. people will have their hoodies. As we were recording this, I had UPS delivery notifications. Callie got her hoodie. Yeah. I'm very excited to get mine. Do you have- Yours is coming tomorrow. I can't wait. I can send you the tracking,

but it's coming tomorrow. Please send me the tracking because I don't want it to get- Yes, yeah. Taken. Okay, let's thank some VI podcasts. Thank you to Brendan Metz. Aaron Carrico.

Adam Shea. Agent Michael Skarn. Akosia Sarfo. Alex Watts. Aaron Carrico. Adam Shea. Agent Michael Skarn. Akosia Sarfo. Alex Watts. Alex Witt. Ali. Alton Burkholder. His was delivered today.

Ooh, Alvaro Osterlundel. Anthony Amadeo. Ari Rubin. Aus Tong Twisters. The sixth six... Oh, Austin. The sixth sick sheiks sixth sheeps sick. Oh, no. Yeah, oh, Boston. The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick. Oh, no.

Yeah, oh, no. Oh, no. Bag of Dew. Bob Yule. Brad Hild. Brendan Rizzone. Brian Dodd. Brownlee's Druthers.

Cameron Bradley. Chasten Bales. Christian Basketball. Connor Finnegan. Damien the Chris- Damien Kirk Daniel Bonney Eric Crust Fancy Octopus

Garrett Glasbergen Go Pokes Greg Berg Hallie Hot Dog Holly Isaac Puff Jake the Snake Raddiff

Jake Ullman Jake Knight Jamie Poncia Jared Jesse Tipton Jonah Sanchez Jub FPV Caleb Luster

Katie Ross Kevin Sunt Kerwin Colby Holis Lauren Malang Malik Mark Priest Matt Maity

Matthew Lizama Nate Porteus Michael Rowland Nicolaj Biergard Phoenix McBurnan P Sabrina Sam Adams Sam Armstrong Sarah Kildiff Nicolaj Biergard. Phoenix McBurnin. P. Sabrina.

Sam Adams. Sam Armstrong. Sarah Kildiff. Slick Ricky. Space Ant. Spencer. Stefan. Stephanie Cass.

Steve Faraway. Sugar N Falls more. God damn it. Every time now. Sugar N Falls more like Nolan N Nolan-n fails to gain employment. That's good. That's really good. Sugar-n falls.

TR, a.k.a. Ghoulia Bui-Dyfus. Theo Giesen. Tyler Ray Hawkins. Will Benitez. Xander Madsen. And Yaro Bouchard so yeah again if you are interested

in bonus content live streams VIP Zoom parties exclusive merch etc oh and comedy sketches you can subscribe at patreon.com

forward slash Riley and Jeff I'm really looking forward to the next Zoom party because people A. will be wearing their hoodies and B.

I just had so much fun at the last one we gotta pick a new theme I think the theme is is hoodie hoodie palooza hoodie palooza yeah garment dyed palooza great that garment dyed palooza yeah what about this the terry no let's just do let's do garment dyed because if the hoodie hasn't come by then, or if they didn't order a hoodie, they can just wear a garment, right? Terry. No. Never Terry.

The Terry. Stop. What? Thank you so much for listening. We'll catch you guys again next week. Arrivederci. That was a Hiddem Original.