Review Revue - Old Navy (w/ Billy Scafuri & Adam Lustick!)

Episode Date: February 9, 2021

Billy Scafuri and Adam Lustick (No Joke podcast) join Reilly and Geoff to read reviews about Old Navy and to discuss pseudonyms, shitty acrostic poems, and being put on hold for your entire c...hildhood!Subscribe to No Joke on your favorite podcast app!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @billyscafuri, @adamlustick, @reillyanspaugh, & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @BillyScafuri, @adamlustick, @reilecoyote, & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? At participating restaurants for a limited time. I just wanna know how you feel For the one love that's so proud and real
Starting point is 00:00:31 You make me wanna go out and steal I just wanna feel you I just wanna feel you How did it take us this long to get this foursome happening? How? Foursome? What? No, come on.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Jeffrey, there's four people in the chat. Jeff, don't throw Robbie under the bus right now. I'm sorry. It's just, it's been a long quarantine. It's not a me thing. It's a Jeff and counting thing. Jeff's like, well, no, that doesn't add up. Oh,
Starting point is 00:01:07 it must feel good to howl at the beginning of every episode. Yeah. You guys really got to howl out. That's a true howl at the moon type moment. It's your barbaric yop. Yeah, exactly. It's our yop.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Guys, we have Billy and Adam from the no joke podcast on. We'll cut right to the chase. I'll admit it. We got them. We got them. You finally got us. You've been tracking us down for months and months and years.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Lots of negotiating. We've been negotiating our rate for a while now, going back and forth. That's why it took this long is we've been saving cash to give you some kind of rate. We wanted to make sure we would net positive after this experience. That's exactly right, because we accept our rate all in one lump sum. We don't do sort of payment installments. We like it all in unmarked bills, one trash bag.
Starting point is 00:01:52 We should say that you guys are recording from individual Star Wagons. Yes, yes. That's $10,000 on the day. That's right. Yeah, but so yeah, Adam Lustig of Corporate Fame, Billy Scafuri of Game game on fame on cbs all access uh the last time you and i talked about game on you were mad at me because i didn't watch it while
Starting point is 00:02:12 it was on tv and now it's on cbs all access right yes that's right cbs all access what a credit that really makes you feel like a powerhouse when you're like that's right it's on the free streaming service of a popular network at least it didn't go the way of quibi cbs all access is going well i read oh this is news to billy oh i think it's because the access is total right i think that's what seems so good about it is that it's complete. No more of this half-access bullshit. CBS partial access is just Mercury Brown. Just from the late 90s.
Starting point is 00:02:50 You get one of the half-men. Just the one of the half-men. Which is a lot of money spent into editing Alan out of that show. Yeah, exactly. It seems like maybe it's not worth the risk. And then Riley, what's your biggest credit? Come on, man. We don't have to do this. Being my friend? Obviously, that's not worth the risk, but... And then Riley, what's your biggest credit? Come on, man. We don't have to do this here.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Being my friend? Yeah. Obviously, it's not. What is that even? Obviously, that's not my biggest credit. No. What do you think I've done other than be your friend? Do you think that's what I do?
Starting point is 00:03:16 I honestly have this insecurity deep down where I have to think of others as not doing well so that I can think that I'm doing well because in reality I'm floundering. In reality, you're sitting in a closet. The three of us are in a room. My parents' house, Jeffrey. We're in rooms and you're in your parents' house closet. And it's not for sound purposes. Because the ceiling is 20
Starting point is 00:03:38 feet high for some reason, so it's echoing out the wazoo. It's a depression based closet choice. It's less for sound and more out of sadness which we appreciate yeah yeah can i can i ask a question here big fan of the podcast first of all billy and i are so happy to be here we're so happy to have you guys we're thrilled uh jeff and riley what has co-hosting this podcast done for your friendship has it sort of accelerated to new levels has it frayed Has it frayed? Has it frayed your companionship at all?
Starting point is 00:04:06 I want to hear the real tea. I feel closer to Riley than I ever have in my entire life. That's on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Even though I haven't seen you
Starting point is 00:04:14 in months. God. Well, now I don't want to answer obviously, obviously anything I say now. It's okay to repeat things that I said. For this to go smoothly, yeah, Jeff and I have connected on an emotional, spiritual plane that I never thought I could reach with anyone.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Not physical. Jeff brought up physical. We're on Zoom, right? Riley does not agree about the whole physical part. No, it's, it's, what's been really nice and strange is like, we've done far more episodes of this show over Zoom than we have in person. Yes. And so, which actually like, one has just been nice to get to do this during COVID, but also at least once a week for a couple hours to get to just hang with Jeff.
Starting point is 00:05:02 It's been really nice. Yeah. Yeah. It's been really nice. Yeah. My wife asked me, my wife asked me whose podcast Adam and I were doing today and I said we're doing
Starting point is 00:05:08 Jeff and Riley's podcast and she said, who are they? And I described you guys as, I described you guys as what college humor, what Jake and Amir were to college humor.
Starting point is 00:05:17 It seems like you two are to Headcum, which is kind of the nicest compliment. Rascals. Rascals. The young up and comers that are going to own the company one day.
Starting point is 00:05:26 One day, yeah. That's like what's saying shell is to big oil is like what we are to... What double A... I don't... I can't think of anything. I'm with you.
Starting point is 00:05:37 I'm with you. I am not with you, Jeff. I am nowhere with you. I am far away from you in that analogy. The thing is, I know where he's at, but I don't want to be.
Starting point is 00:05:44 So I'm kind of in the middle of Billy and Adam of like, I get it. I just really wish I didn't and I can separate myself as far away from it as possible. What shell is to big oil, double A batteries are to electronic vehicles. I don't think so. EVs.
Starting point is 00:05:59 What? EVs. Electronic vehicles. Yes. Jeff is in his closet of shame, just slowly sinking under a pile of shirts. You guys have identical microphones, and Billy and I have identical microphones, which seems very on-brand for both of us. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. This is so cute.
Starting point is 00:06:16 This is a meet-cute, I think. This is the cutest meet-cute that wasn't planned, and we just kind of all stumbled onto the same Zoom link, and like, whoa, now we're here of all stumbled onto the same zoom link and like now we're here what are you guys doing here yeah well it is kind of a full circle moment because riley and i met the day riley and i met we went on your guys's podcast that was the first time you that was the first time we ever met because i think we didn't introduce it was my first day oh yeah for those of y'all review of your listeners who want a little head gum history yeah um my first day as an intern i was at the office for maybe 10 minutes but like creating my head gum email yes sitting with jake and then billy and adam were like hey you work
Starting point is 00:06:59 here i'm like barely and um they're like do you want to be on a podcast and this is like the movie dream scenario of how my first day could have gone that was the read through episode right didn't Adam and I bring in like pilot scripts I really got lucky that you two that you two said yes
Starting point is 00:07:20 because you were like the two main I feel like you two are performers proper performers and the fact that somehow you both were the ones that got plucked to read in our scripts that's so crazy and that was like being in that room was the first time jeff and i had ever met um and then to meet you guys and so now to have you guys on our it's just four years later really lovely that's really crazy my memory of that record is feeling discouraged because the the scripts were so good and they hadn't been made so i was like if this doesn't get made i'm not gonna make it in this business yeah it was sort of a scared straight scenario we wanted
Starting point is 00:07:57 to really toughen you guys up we just wanted yeah it doesn't matter if your show is good. It matters who your daddy is. Exactly. It matters who your zaddy is. Yeah, exactly. My last name should have been Paramount if I was going to make it. Exactly. Jeffrey Paramount. Jeffrey Paramount.
Starting point is 00:08:16 That is the slimiest. That is the slimiest. Paramount, Jeffrey Paramount. I could see an alt reality in which jeffrey actually like if he didn't like get that job at funny or die or intern there or work at head company he's like i just got to take a swing like i'm going to reintroduce myself as jeffrey paramount yuck dude i could see it it's like jeffrey paramount and you cannot you may not call me jeff yeah jeffrey and you can't even call me jeffrey you have call me Jeffrey Paramount. And the fact that it's spelled
Starting point is 00:08:45 the way that it is, plus Paramount, is weird. Like, you show up to the Paramount office and you're just like, do you have an appointment? And you're like, well... Do you have an appointment? Mr. Paramount? Well, that's my father. It's like that scene in Big Fat Liar where it's like, I ask you, Astrid, what kind of sick world do we live in
Starting point is 00:09:02 that someone needs an appointment to see his own father? Exactly. Yeah, Jeff shows up to the office and they're like, what's your name? And he just looks at the logo of Paramount over the desk and he's like, Jeffrey Paramount. I don't think so, Jeff. Jeff just held up a notes app where the only thing written is Riley Bogart. But guys, we're not here to talk about pseudonyms. I don't think so, Jeff. Jeff just held up a notes app where the only thing written is Riley Bogart. What?
Starting point is 00:09:26 I didn't want to interrupt. But guys, we're not here to talk about pseudonyms, right? No. Like, let's not get too distracted, okay? Thank you. Okay, Adam, all right. We are here to talk about the one and only the incomparable the wickedly talented old navy yes
Starting point is 00:09:54 jeffrey sent me over a list of potential topics for the podcast today and the last one on the list was old navy and something about that just spoke to me and adam's brand in a way i can't explain riley came up with this one amazing so funny so plain we are suburban children of the 90s i would say that throughout my junior high to high school career upwards of nine i would say at the very least 85 at the most 98 of my wardrobe was old navy no doubt about it so you had a sock that wasn't from old navy just one sock from aero pastel that was it yeah right my price some of your favorite pieces yeah that was just i can tell you uh my most prized possession um from old navy was the simple gray
Starting point is 00:10:45 tea i feel like old navy one of the things that they did really well was like great was like what's the dullest don't look at me gray color that we can possibly make but i loved the gray weathered gray t-shirt that just said in that like old sort of like old-timey new york yankees font old navy right there it was was very simple and straightforward. That was my favorite piece. He really loves it. Sure. We're familiar.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Those big stores, they love putting the name of their store on the front of their shirt. It's so interesting. It's just like, this is from Old Navy. There's no getting around it. No one's ever going to ask where I got it from. That and the carpenter pant. I had sixes and sevens of carpenter pants.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Carpenter pants. Adam, what is the thing that makes a carpenter pant the carpenter pant? That would be the loop for the hammer that I was always carrying. The hammer loop. The hammer loop. My best friend put a hammer in the hammer loop
Starting point is 00:11:42 during high school one day, and he got detention. And his whole argument was, it's a hammer loop for hammer loop during high school one day, and he got detention. And his whole argument was, it's a hammer loop for hammers. And they're like, you can't bring a hammer to school. And he's like, but my pants have a hammer loop. I have to use the loop. My pants demand it. My pants demand it.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Such a smartass. The pants aren't what they are unless there's a hammer in the loop. The hammer loop. Yeah, the casual hammer loop. The hammer loop sounds like a roller coaster in a cartoon where it's like the big kids are trying to get the main kind of scaredy cat
Starting point is 00:12:13 kid to be like, well, if you really want to make it in this town, you gotta ride the hammer loop. And it cuts to someone just dying on the hammer loop and they're like, there's a dead body on the roller coaster. It's just an army hammer themed roller coaster. Just dead bodies everywhere.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Him reliving the last month on a roller coaster. Yeah, exactly. Nightmare. Not to get sidetracked, but was he drinking blood? Just to clear that up. Was army hammer drinking blood? Want just to clear that up was was army hammer drinking blood wanting he's like lightly a cannibal craving at the very least but i think drinking blood yeah i think a little nibble of human flesh here and there i think cannibal
Starting point is 00:12:56 curious cannibal curious he's the only person that q could have been right about but they didn't talk about him at all exactly exactly he flew really under the radar um well free old navy old navy there's an old navy in solon ohio adam yeah if you can believe it what's that i believe it i do believe it um and it was labrador and thine. It was at once one room, but also with as many twists and curves of any retail environment I've ever been a part of. Baskets of denim. Baskets of denim. Racks full of marl. I'm sorry, racks full of what? Marl.
Starting point is 00:13:41 You were mentioning, Adam already mentioned the gray, and it was often a marl gray. Marl. I've never heard the word marl. I've only heard the term shades of gray without knowing any of the actual shades. So I think this is my first known shade, marl. No, I'd never, I did buy things from Old Navy,
Starting point is 00:14:00 but they always had clearance, always were a lot of clearance racks, and that's where the deals were to be had. So much disdain in your voice. No, it's lust. Lust. It's longing. Passion. Passion. Passion, yeah. Yeah. It's hard to imagine Old Navy having clearance
Starting point is 00:14:15 items, because it felt like everything was $4.99 and less. So it's like, how much more clear can we get? Yeah. It went from $4.99 to $2.99 to 299 yeah like 239 for like a pair of jeans i remember going to the third street promenade and i don't think it's there anymore but there was a big old navy at third street promenade in santa monica and i remember like seeing the people who were around and buying and in line and i'm like this is what being 30 is gonna be 30 this is like what being
Starting point is 00:14:48 a 30 year old like professional woman is going to mean because professional women are always carrying their hammers with them at all times i just remember like seeing like they do really good basics and like just seeing that and like seeing these people in their old navy denim like this is you know like early early aughts yeah yeah like this is like when i'm older like i'm gonna be i really don't think so the birth of old navy kind of came out of it felt like when gap was like the store yeah it was like popping like the cast of friends was wearing gap clothing and it was just like khaki pants blue shirts like real basics like riley said and then old navy just shows up out of nowhere and it's like yo we can do what the gap does for 70 off
Starting point is 00:15:39 yeah and leave with 40 articles of clothing. And you're like, oh my God, I look like I shopped at The Gap. Yeah, exactly. I'm a professional woman. I shop at Old Navy. I did love The Gap. That's the thing. A lot of what I had and wore was from The Gap.
Starting point is 00:16:00 So I wasn't necessarily a professional businesswoman, but I was on the cast of Friends. And your work was so good on the show had the aro pastel which was like the junior varsity like we're kind of like that and gap had old navy whereas like things are going to be a little cheaper and they look the same i got it what old navy is to gap riley and i are to jake and amir and double batteries are to electronic vehicles. And shell is to gas, I guess. That last one's just the chance. You got it.
Starting point is 00:16:33 It was a long walk, but we got there. Should we get into our first review? Well, you know what I did? I googled reviews of my local upstate Albany, New York, Crosstade, small Old Navy and I found some reviews. Yeah. For lack of a better term.
Starting point is 00:16:49 For lack of a better word, sweatshirt. Okay. So Stephanie V. Billy, last name for Stephanie V. Stephanie Varamount. Got it. Stephanie Varamount. This is from Stephanie Varamount, and it has four out of the five possible left one off okay left one off so uh here's what stephanie or or uh for lack of a better word miss varamount says she says old
Starting point is 00:17:19 navy the company has good quality clothes for decent prices especially during sale times i tend I'm saying. The one difficult part about this store is that because it is in the mall, there tend to be long lines. Be mindful of that when you want to come here and purchase items during typical busy times at the mall. In parentheses, weekend nights, Friday night, rainy days. Rainy days. Didn't see that sneaking in. Weekends and rainy days. So that's Stephanie's review.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Pretty positive, generally, I would say. Four stars. I love that she's describing just going to Malta to buy something. She's like, just be wary when you're going to go to the store to purchase items is that there might be
Starting point is 00:18:09 other people also wanting to purchase items on the day that you're going to go to that place to buy something. And on the busier days, there will be more people outside.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Just know that. Heads up. Just to be crystal, the busier days tend to be weekends, but also maybe rainy days rainy days yeah exactly i like the idea of like a uh an foreign exchange student or somebody like living in the united states for the first time and someone's explaining retail to them it's like yeah no we we have this
Starting point is 00:18:37 in germany so georg we're so excited to have you here um and I'm so glad you decided to come out with me and my friends. Like, you know, I know that I'm like your host sister, but I want to be like your real sister. And so these are my buddies, Tim and Tom. And we're going to show you what it's like to really live in Chestnut Creek. Right, guys? Yeah. Georg, have you ever gone shopping at the mall on a rainy day? Georg, do you ever gone shopping at the mall on a rainy day? Georg, do you understand English?
Starting point is 00:19:08 Georg? No, I speak English. I'm shocked at the, what is this that you call this building with all these stores inside? What is this that you call this? Oh, my God. Tell them, Tom. This is so cute. Tom, you tell them.
Starting point is 00:19:19 This is a mall. And so there's- Is it a mall? Mall. Yeah, mall. M-A-W-L. Mall. I don't think so, Tim. No, m-a-w-l mall i don't think so no m-a-l-l m-a-l-l that's what i said right there's tell them tom like what the bear might do to you for instance if you come across it in the woods a mall it malls you okay i see what he's doing he's trying to like relate
Starting point is 00:19:40 everything to his mother country russia yeah yes. But no, I'm very excited. I've never been, I've experienced much rain in life, but never this mall. Very excited to be here as well. Georg, you're going to love it. When it rains, it gets super packed inside. Like sunny days. Let's just say when it rains, it pours. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:19:59 You might not know that expression because you're from another country, but that's a very popular expression. I'm laughing along as well. I'm laughing with you. Yeah. He gets it. He gets it. Do you not have malls where you're from another country, but that's a very popular expression. I'm laughing along as well. I'm laughing with you. Yeah, he gets it. He gets it. Do you not have malls where you're from, Georg? Where do you guys shop in your mother country? Shop? Oh, well, my mother and father- Purchase goods. Not much good where I come from, but I can tell you that my mother and father have made me all clothes since I was baby up until this very day. So I that my mother and father have made me all clothes since I was baby up until this very day.
Starting point is 00:20:26 So I guess my mother and father are mall? No. Georg, you are going to – we have to show you this store. There's this store in the mall. It's really big, and there's all these winding denim hallways. What is it? It's called Old Navy, and you can buy. Do you have money? Do you have currency, Georg? I have. Let me see
Starting point is 00:20:48 what I have in here. I have... I think my dad should have given him some allowance. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Your dad gave me, this looks like, $220 bill, so 20 plus 20 is $220. $40. It's not $220. Georg, here's the thing about this store.
Starting point is 00:21:04 With that amount of money when you go into the store you're king you can buy whatever you want I'm king of I'm king of navy you are going to be
Starting point is 00:21:14 the king of old navy right guys like come on like with that cash in there you are going to be the king of old navy where I come from
Starting point is 00:21:23 I am poor peasant boy who lives in snow and eats nothing for weeks. And now you tell me that with two pieces of this paper, I am king of the Navy? Georg, you can buy pants that have pockets on the outside. Pockets on pockets on pockets. I'm talking cargo pants. Have you ever had a cargo pants, Georg? I've never owned pocket in life up to now. I've never had pocket. I just carry all my goods
Starting point is 00:21:48 in my arms. I've never had pocket ever one time. And you're telling me I could have pants with many, many pockets? Multiple pockets, Georg. For very few dollars. Come inside. That's all, baby. What do you like? What do you see? What do you like? Oh my god, look at all the gray.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Oh, all the marl moral look at all these delicious sorry you know you knew moral but you didn't know mall easy easy i'm sorry i'm just getting a little frustrated with gaylord like i don't know why you guys are so excited he doesn't know basic stuff because he lived in remote areas near baron the scent of vodka i know certain little words. I know moral and I know I know Mostly moral. Mostly moral. When we're at home he just all the time at dinner he'll be like
Starting point is 00:22:34 moral, moral, moral. And we're like yes, yes Georg, moral. And he'll be like moral. And then my dad will be like that's enough of the moral. It's the moral of the story. That's a different word. Don't confuse him we've had mall moral and now moral all these words sound very similar to gare but um i am here i think i'm ready to buy i'm ready for to be king i'm ready to buy all of the moral um and i rather than buy as king, may I, and no offense to you, Riley, or your dad for housing me, but can I live in Navy?
Starting point is 00:23:10 Or if I'm king, can I live here at Navy? This is why we have to be like really literal, right, guys? Like this is what I was worried about is you said he was king. And that was metaphorical. Hi, guys. Welcome to Old Navy. Are you ready to check out? I see you got a whole bunch of Merle shirts in your hands there there i can help you ring that up in the front hello subject yeah listen listen
Starting point is 00:23:29 kind of a weird question so this is our kind of foreign exchange buddy uh georg he can't hear me because i'm whispering he can't hear low frequency talking so got it he was hoping to potentially it's gonna sound crazy, but live here. I know that's crazy, but is he okay if you just let him sleep over for the night just under a pile of pants or something like that? Just to kind of give him the real American experience. You let us know. Listen, I don't know if I can be the one to make that decision. I might need to talk to my supervisor about letting someone spend the night in the store.
Starting point is 00:24:06 He'll give you $20. You're lying. Stop it. Don't yank my chain about that right now. I can't handle it. He has two $20 bills in his pocket. I'm not lying. And he'll give you one of them
Starting point is 00:24:17 if you let him sleep under a pile of pants. I take you by the collar of your shirt. You're not lying to me right now. I swear to God, if you're telling the truth, he can stay in the store as long as he wants. Sir, is he... No, we're really like... He actually has 220.
Starting point is 00:24:31 He seriously has 220s. I'm not kidding. Okay, Georg, can I... I hate to be rude, but can I see these two $20 bills that they claim that you have? You won't see this, of course. One of my many royal and devoted subjects. I will, of course, do this as your king. I will show you my paper.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Here, here. One paper, two paper. They're glowing somehow. What the fuck? This is paper that I have as your king. These are my royal papers as well. I get on the speaker. Attention, old navy shoppers!
Starting point is 00:25:03 Attention, old navy shoppers. No fucking way. Everyone come to the main floor immediately. We have a new king. I repeat, long live the king. The entire store. Long live the king. Denim trumpet fanfare going everywhere. $20 bills?
Starting point is 00:25:19 Whoa. Look at that. Gray mall, 100% cotton confetti goes up. They hoist him up on one of the denim pile racks. This is wonderful. Now bring me to your hammers. You do know about Old Navy. You know about the carpenter pants.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Oh. Riley would you like to do our next review? certainly certainly hold on just a touch no it's moral moral
Starting point is 00:26:02 okay so last night I was like, oh man. Okay. Time to look up an Old Navy review. And I don't do this often, but the first review that I found, I'm like, well, obviously it has to be this one. So this is for, and so I actually didn't look up the Old Navy where I thought I was going
Starting point is 00:26:21 to become a woman in Santa Monica. Don't say it like that. It's because I don't think it's there anymore. But this is the one in Oakland. This is from Dennis S. Does anyone have a last name for Dennis?
Starting point is 00:26:37 Adam? Scafuri. Okay. Dennis Scafuri. Dennis Scafuri. That's your alias. Jeffrey Paramount and Dennis Scafuri.is the menace skifuri this is one star oh um from january 25th 2021 recent press okay here we go i came last saturday the 23rd and took two underwears i was ready to go to the cashier, but a security employee asked me to show my pants, but I refused. Another one came and told me that he saw me on camera putting me in underwear in my pants. I was obliged to show them that they made a wrong accusation.
Starting point is 00:27:17 When they saw that I didn't steal anything, a third one asked me if I wanted to buy anything. Of course I said no. Then they brought me to the exit. After that, I called them and asked for them to apologize. The employee said he was sorry, and he took my name. I said, Dennis, like a dog, and he said no. I said, sorry, like Dieu, God in French. He took my phone number and told me that he'll call me back on Saturday,
Starting point is 00:27:42 but they didn't. I called again, and they said again that they'd call me on Monday. I just want to say that I'm a caregiver, and this is the day that my patient went to take his vaccination for COVID-19. Plus, I'm 58. I've never stolen my life.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Old Navy. O, like old. Security. S, like STD. No fucking way. Am I a victim? V, like victory. Be careful to bother nice people.
Starting point is 00:28:06 There's always justice from who? From God. Sometimes you deal with somebody more important than you see. This is a crazy person. This is a crazy person. When I first read this, I thought that they were spelling Old Navy. Yeah, it's not the cross stick. But it was O, like O,
Starting point is 00:28:26 or whatever, S, V. I'm like, what are you spelling? Don't emphasize the letter. Of all the batshit crazy stuff, Dieu was the one that was like, excuse me? You can't slip into French. You're a psycho.
Starting point is 00:28:42 We've already established you're a psycho. Dieu, God in French. And it's not clarifying at all to say, that's my name, Dennis,'re a psycho. We've already established you're a psycho. God in French. And it's not clarifying at all to say that's my name, Dennis, like a dog. Dogs can be named anything. That's in no way clarifying. You knew he was crazy out the gate when he said, I took two underwears.
Starting point is 00:28:57 You can't take two underwears. Also, phrasing it like, I took two underwears sounds like they were stealing. Exactly. I know. If he just said, he's like, I picked up two to then go buy it. But then he's like, like I took two underwear sounds like they were stealing exactly I know if he just said he's like I I picked up two to then go buy it but then he's like so I took two and then they asked me to show them because they said it was stealing like no I just took them
Starting point is 00:29:13 and he said like show they asked me to show them my pants which leads me to believe like did you put the under did you take the underpants on your pants on your legs are you wearing the underpants they thought that he stuffed them in his pants. But I also love the clarifier that's like, well, I'm 58. I've actually never stolen in my life.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I'm 58. So, yeah. Cut me some slack. You're at a wedding reception giving a speech. Oh, Peter. How long has it been, man? 20 years since college? Yeah, bro.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Yeah. I thought that I would start us off with some With a poem The whole crowd is like aww So many memories This could be anything P Important Important rather
Starting point is 00:29:59 To me that Peter is You're a real Mainstay in my life Peter Peter, and I hope that you and Lisa have a long relationship. Long as in till death do you part. E. Everyone can see
Starting point is 00:30:16 how much you guys love each other, right? I mean, I can see it in the way you guys look. I want to find someone that looks at me the way Lisa looks at you, Peter. Leaning over to Peter. Sorry, so that P, that was all just the way Lisa looks at you, Peter. Lean over to Peter. Sorry. So that was all just the first letter of the acrostic. Sometimes it just goes off on its tangents and it's better to not stop them.
Starting point is 00:30:31 It's like waking someone up when they're sleepwalking. This is going to be the longest acrostic poem ever. Nine. Let it happen. Nine. The number of sexual partners I know that you've had before. Hold on. Lisa.
Starting point is 00:30:42 No. That's not true, honey. That's not true, honey. Nine. You told me four. you've had before hold on please no yes that's not true honey that's not true honey nine you told me four you have enough of a sample size to know whether this sexual chemistry is gonna work i'm sorry aunt elizabeth who aunt elizabeth that's my aunt yeah who's also there attending she's here um this is crazy, but yeah. Another P. Fantastic spelled with a PH.
Starting point is 00:31:10 And that's what this wedding has been. I love you, Peter. And Lisa, welcome to the family. Thanks, buddy. Means a lot. cheers uh thank thank you so much uh that was so beautiful um am i i don't mean to be rude looking out to the crowd but am i am i am i just a little too drunk off the champagne or did he not spell peter's name he spelled p P-E-9-P. I was trying to keep track. It was...
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah. Thanks, Dad. Thank you. No, I was keeping notes here. But P-E-9-P was the... P-E-9-P. Yeah. If that's...
Starting point is 00:31:57 Yeah. It's kind of a weird quirk of his. I kind of let it go. He... And this is between you and me, Lisa. But I think he can't spell. i honestly think that he can't spell okay i feel bad i didn't want to call him out or shame him or embarrass him or anything i feel like i should go apologize i feel like i should go apologize r is for the way you look at me just let him go, hun. O is for the only one.
Starting point is 00:32:26 I see. C is very, very extraordinary. Nine is like the nine in Peter's name, and that is fine. Now R. R-O-C-9-R. name and that is fine now r r c r o c nine r see it we just sometimes gotta let him just have it we all have our quirks hey simon we're on the dance floor hey simon can i talk to you for a second hey hey congratulations oh thank you so much it means it means the world that you're here um and i just i just want to say like i'm i'm really sorry for
Starting point is 00:33:05 kind of bringing up your problem for lack of a better term in front of the whole reception that that was so uncool of me and i had i had no idea and so you know if you need anything i'm here for you and i just i just wanted to say that i'm oh i dropped my glass that i'm really sorry about that oh after my speech i went straight to the bathroom what problem do i have you you know you well i mean the the come on you can be honest with me we're family now you're my brother-in-law i mean like the the poem you wrote just how it was written it's fine i mean like it was really endearing and i think the sentiment was so beautiful um but i think know, if you need help, just ask. I'm a teacher.
Starting point is 00:33:48 And so this is kind of what I do. I didn't want to have to do this. Hey, everyone. What? Yeah, what is it? Yeah? Yeah? We're going to take a quick poll and then we'll get back to the festivities. If you think my poem was the best speech of the night,
Starting point is 00:34:05 stand on that corner of the room. And if not, you stand on the other. And if there's not enough room in that corner, then that's fine, but my point will be made. I walk over to one corner. Nobody follows. Music slowly comes back and everybody just goes back to dancing.
Starting point is 00:34:27 His jaw is on the floor Everybody Yeah Rocking body Yeah Everybody Backstreet's back tonight Backstreet's back Alright
Starting point is 00:34:44 Lisa's dad walks over to Simon and says Hey Simon Back streets, back streets. All right. Lisa's dad walks over to Simon and says, hey, Simon, that was a pretty wild poll you just took, huh? Anyway, I just want to say, now that we're family and everything, you know, my daughter, she's a teacher, and if you ever need any help with anything kind of grammar-related or alphabet-related or any ABC stuff that you might need help with, even ABCD. Yeah. I yell out from the back, or one, two, threes. Yeah, any of the numbers and letters stuff. Like, Lisa is so smart, and she'd be, you know, we're family now, and you don't need to be embarrassed and um just want to kind of put that out there i thought your speech and your poem were really lovely really heartfelt and beautiful but really again and any abc stuff you need um
Starting point is 00:35:35 no no shame no embarrassment but lisa's happy to help you out yeah i actually really fucking appreciate that okay watch the language but i cool sorry i really f u nine five k l four appreciate that i know there's children around all right um how do you spell how do you spell your name i've heard simon spelled so many different ways i'm just curious as to how you spell simon s i m and that's it okay so yeah i would say i would say if ever you want any kind of i'm not even saying like a formal tutoring thing but even if you just want to chat with lisa about your name and um the letters in it or the letters that aren't in it or what the difference even is between letters and numbers yeah um she would be i think happy i speak for her when i say
Starting point is 00:36:27 she'd be happy to help you out now that we're family just again letters and numbers and how they're different and just the fact that they are different yes yeah and if you ever want help writing the next wedding speech come to me because you know great i. I will definitely take that under. Subpar and not in a golf way. Okay. Well, anyway, happy that you're here, Simon. Can I give you a hug? May I hug you?
Starting point is 00:36:59 I'm just waiting for your consent. Sorry, I was thinking about it. We've all come over to the corner of the room now. The entire wedding is now standing in the corner waiting for you to either hug the father-in-law or not. The DJ's even over here now. The music has stopped. Is Simon going to?
Starting point is 00:37:16 He's acknowledged that he can't spell. He's acknowledged that he needs help. If he'll just hug the father-in-law, we can get back to the wedding and celebrate. Simon, we can't continue until you hug my dad. We're all in the corner of this banquet hall. Just hug Lisa's father-in-law, Simon, for the love of God. Please, Simon.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Simon, this is taking way too long, buddy. I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Everybody's so close to me in this corner. I didn't ask you to do that. You did. You literally asked us to do it. In the poll, not to hug him. All right.
Starting point is 00:37:48 A few people start trickling away from the corner. They've lost interest in this potential hug. Well, hang on a minute, because if I'm going to do it, I want an audience. You told us that you didn't even want us here in the first place. I'm so alone in this world. Right? So to see Peter and Lisa and what they they have i'm four years older than peter how humiliating is that that i haven't found my spouse humiliating this is peter he i'm approaching
Starting point is 00:38:12 lisa hey lisa listen i got to apologize for simon he's really kind of taken the spotlight away from our special day and i was gonna say like this is, I think that if it's up to me, I think that maybe you and I go our own ways. We both start fresh. Yeah, I'm sorry. This has like just been, I'm overwhelmed
Starting point is 00:38:34 by this whole thing. For a little respect when you get home. Yeah, baby. When you get home. Are you divorcing me? We got married like 30 minutes ago.
Starting point is 00:38:44 That's how you spell respect. The whole father-in-law refuses to hug like 30 minutes ago that's how you spell respect that's how you spell respect and suck it to me simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me i don't even want to be part of this family anyway really quick cut to simon years from now he has a wife and they have a dog and they don't want to get the dog too excited. Okay, Simon, we need to go take him on a W-A-L-K. So I just like, whenever you're ready, just let me, just tell me then, and then I'll know.
Starting point is 00:39:15 We're going to take the dog on a roller coaster? All right, do you have time for one more review? I got nothing but time. We got the time. If you got the time. All right, I'm between two. We have a five star and a one star. Which one do you guys want to hear?
Starting point is 00:39:33 I'm intrigued by the one star. I know we just heard a one star, but I like a good scathing, a good scathing review. Love it. All right, here we go. One star from Jan Marie O. Riley, what does the O stand for? Jan Marie O. Riley, what does the O stand for?
Starting point is 00:39:48 Janmarie O. Janmarie. Janmarie O. Janmarie. Beautiful. One star. July 21st last year. This is of the Old Navy in Colma, California. I don't exactly. Oh, I think it's near San Francisco. Who hasn't been to Holma California at least once?
Starting point is 00:40:06 Right? One star. Old Navy customer service. Worst ever. I've been on the line for six hours yet nobody answered my call. Is that the end of the review?
Starting point is 00:40:24 Amazing! Amazing! How long would you wait?'s your threshold old navy let's go one yeah down the line what's your threshold of staying online for customer service for like a clothing brand i think it's 30 minutes for me i was gonna say 35 30 minutes i was gonna say 30 minutes yeah yeah i'm trying to imagine the biggest problem I could have had with an old baby experience. Like, what is the worst thing that could have happened at an old baby? I walked out with my carpet
Starting point is 00:40:53 and there was a very sharp hammer already in it and it gouged my leg. Yeah, which that's not a customer service issue. That's a lawsuit. What are you talking about? Six hours? I'm calling customer service. Ring, ring. Hello. God, i feel like i've been waiting forever honey dinner's ready i know i'm sorry one sec this should just take a little bit okay come when you're ready shouldn't be too much longer okay all right hi hello hi there this is old navy customer support can i put you on a
Starting point is 00:41:17 brief hold thank you oh i was just on hold yeah it's. Cut to 45 minutes later. Hi there. Sorry about that. My name is Dereb. I'm with Old Navy Customer Service. How can I help you today? Thank you so much, Dereb. Well, now, I mean, listen, Dereb, can I be honest? I started with one complaint, but obviously now there's two. I feel like I was on hold for way too long for the original complaint that I had.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Let me take the second complaint first. How long have you been on hold for? I have been on hold for maybe about two and a half hours. Oh, that's not so bad. Our average wait time hovers around four, four and a half, five hours. So you're actually, this is fairly expedient to be honest with you. Your average wait time is four and a half hours for Old Navy? Well, it sounds kind of outrageous, but we have a lot of, we do a lot of business here at Old Navy, as you know, and thank you so much for your business. I want to make that clear. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:07 There's a lot of troubleshooting that goes on here at Colma. It's one of California's number six rated Old Navy, not to brag. Oh, wow. Well, congratulations. Thank you very much. We're very proud of that. So there's a lot of – oh, I'm sorry. I'm going to be on a brief hold.
Starting point is 00:42:20 So sorry. I'm sorry. We just got to me. We just got to me. We just got to me. This is the Hold'em. This is the Hold'em California Old Navy Customer Service. I think we're located in Hold'em, California. Who am I speaking to? Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?
Starting point is 00:42:40 Hi. Sorry. Sorry it's so late. Thank you for taking my call. We're talking to Jasmine right now. Hello, Jasmine. This is Darab2. My name is Darab2.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Oh, no. Oh, my God. Proud to let you know, Jasmine, that we are California's sixth rated Old Navy. So I've heard. So I've heard. California's sixth rated Old Navy in the state we aim to solve all your problems in a timely manner again this is derib too who do i have the pleasure of speaking to i just told you and you just said it my name is still jasmine you're still on the phone with me
Starting point is 00:43:18 can i please just get to my complaint i've been waiting what kind of still jasmine what kind of experience what would you say you're looking for in the old navy experience because here at the uh hold them whole whole whole come whole come old navy six rated california we aim to please so still jasmine what uh what can i do for you my god i sorry i feel like i've been on this phone call for the past 10 years. 10 years. Oh, that's nothing. That's actually pretty expedient. Yeah, we usually aim to... Oh, Darab2, it was a figment of speech. We usually take people's adolescence.
Starting point is 00:43:52 We'll usually take you from about 6 to 24. You'll usually get on late 20s. How old are you still, Jasmine, if you don't mind me asking? Still, I know. Darab2. I understand you're Darab2. I'm 29 yearsl too I'm 29 years old I'm 29 years old
Starting point is 00:44:07 I don't think that matters to me the complaint that I had originally when I hopped on the phone with Daryl let me be the first to wish you a very happy birthday here from California's number six California if you'll hold on one second it seems
Starting point is 00:44:23 that I have another be right back honey Honey, I put the food in the fridge. I'll see you tomorrow morning. I'm so sorry about this, honey. I just know that it's gonna, listen, if it's already taking this long, I can't possibly go through this again. So I figured I'm just gonna stick with it. Cut to midnight. Hi there.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Hi. Are you still with us? Unfortunately, I am. Is this still Jasmine? It's Jasmine. Yeah. Am I talking to Darab1 or 2 or 5? This is the original. This is Darab Prime. Okay. Hi, Darab.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Hi, how are you? You've got Darab2 on the line as well. We're both here. Bit of a conference call. I don't need to talk to both of you. Both Darabs. The aperture of Darab2 explained this to you, still Jasmine, but we're working as fast as we can here at Old Navy.
Starting point is 00:45:02 The wait time here usually spans a person's adolescence. I don't know if Darab2 was able to make that clear. You told me. Sorry, Darab1, you told me it was six hours. Some people have waited up until middle age. Some people have made it up to middle age. Some people have made it to retirement before they get around to their customer complaint. This is Darab2 from Fulcrum Hold'ems.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Number six rated Old the state of California. So we just want to ask, now that we have hopefully tackled your second complaint about the wait time, which, as we've explained, takes one human adolescence, your first complaint, I'd like to actually know, what's the deal? What's fucked up about your clothes? It seems so... Well, Darab, Darab... Still Jasmine, tell us what's fucked. Tell us what's fucked right now. What got fucked up about your clothes? It seems so... Well, Dereb. Still Jasmine, tell us what's fucked.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Tell us what's fucked right now. Oh my god, we don't need to use this language. This is unbelievable. It's okay. It sounds like you have a problem. Tell us what got majorly fucked. What's royally fucked in your life right now? Still Jasmine.
Starting point is 00:46:01 In my life, I wear the clothes. I know it's Dereb too. Tell us your top three complaints about life and adolescence this is derrick two tell us what's royally fucked we'll get to the old baby complaint but what's fucked generally in your life first and why don't we start there my husband stopped paying attention to me which is why i started shopping at old navy again we get that a lot yep that sounds fucked it's fucked yeah you know what darryl too and darryl it is fucked it is fucked my my kids hate me my husband doesn't even look at me and you know what my dog's starting to annoy the shit out of me if i'm being really
Starting point is 00:46:37 honest about it so still jasmine here's what i'm gonna suggest to you because i have a lot i have a lot of things that are fucked in my life as well. They've been fucked for years. And you know what unfucked a lot of those fucking problems still, Jasmine? Was getting a job in customer service at Old Navy. You treat people like shit, you have all the power in the world, and you can just
Starting point is 00:46:58 tell them to fuck themselves when you want. Please hold. No! This should be a week long. Who would like to start? Anything fucked in your guys' lives or good okay i'll start this is maybe a base this is fairly basic um we're all stuck at home we have nothing to do but watch tv um my television obsession of the moment that i would like to share um billy and i have talked about this is a show on hbo called how to with john wilson not sure if you guys have been watching this okay great
Starting point is 00:47:41 it's totally exquisite there's some weird funny, John Wilson, who walks around with his camera. And it's just like gets truly some of the wildest B-roll footage of New York City eccentrics that I've ever seen in my life. And it's like so cleverly edited. And it's got sort of a Joe Pera calm vibe to it. And it's really been, it's weirdly soothing. It's like a soothing television viewing experience and has definitely been an anxiety calmer for me and I
Starting point is 00:48:11 can't recommend it enough. It's so funny and silly and good. That's wonderful. Adam, we didn't get to hear your answer from early. I don't know if you remember. It was a whole adolescence ago, but have you ever had to use a pseudonym? A pseudonym in life. have i ever you did give yourself your own yes okay this is humiliating so when i was in little league i was
Starting point is 00:48:34 a youth i was playing youth baseball and the movie major league had just come out so this is like early 90s or late 80s even and one of the players in major league is played by charlie sheen is sort of the eccentric wild boy party guy closing pitcher big character and he uh has the nickname wild thing so nine-year-old me asked my baseball team and the coaches and the parents if they wouldn't mind calling me wild thing so i asked, and as anyone knows, cannot give yourself a nickname. That is not how nicknames work. That has never been how nicknames work.
Starting point is 00:49:11 That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Also to be, it's like the least wild thing to ask to be called Wild Thing. Yes. So tame. So tame. Normal Thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Normal Thing. Wild Thing has to come from the outside in. People have to acknowledge, like, that dude is wild. Wild thing. So I've tried to impose a pseudonym on myself. I've tried to force it, but I haven't. I've yet to be successful. Yeah, it didn't catch. Wild thing.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yeah, it didn't catch. That's adorable. Well, let's come up with one with a nickname for you right now, and it'll stick. That'd be great. It's on you guys, though. It's up to you. I can't do it myself. But please, I'm thirsty for a nickname, whatever you got.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Don't even overthink it. It could be really anything. I'll take anything. Jeffrey has the classic overthinking face. Jeff has it. Jeff Paramount. Also, Jeff renamed himself. Obviously, it would be Jeffrey Paramount.
Starting point is 00:50:02 But Mr. Paramount, I see something brewing. He wants this. He wants to stick the landing. My name is Adam Lustig. It could be a riff on that, or it could be totally random. I'm just like, I'm thirsty for some sort of like force. Spit it out, Paramount. What is it?
Starting point is 00:50:17 Spit it out, Paramount. The franchise. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That franchise is Old Navy, right? Absolutely. So you're a franchise in Old Navy. Okay, cool. Yeah, with. Okay. That franchise is Old Navy, right? Absolutely. So you're franchising Old Navy.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Okay, cool. Yeah, with residual checks. Hell yeah. I'll take it. The franchise. That's a short squeeze. A short squeeze. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:37 A dying business and you're going all in on it. All in. Yeah. Okay, cool. I'll take it. I'm going to call my Little League team today and tell them. Thank you. They're so proud. We're changing it. We're changing it. Never mind.. I'll take it. I'm going to call my Little League team today and tell them. Thank you. They're so proud.
Starting point is 00:50:46 We're changing it. Never mind. Remember 27 years ago I asked you to call me Wild Thing? Now call me the franchise in parentheses Old Navy. We didn't remember that. You asked us to call you Wild Thing? We're all lawyers now. That's really sad. My office is on the 39th
Starting point is 00:51:02 floor. Go away. One thing that is shaking me up has shook me up uh i talked about it on buckets this past week you can buy nba moments so i grew up owning basketball cards and baseball cards which are still framed images on cardboard but now you can buy plays you can be the owner of plays. You can buy NBA plays and own NBA plays. I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself until that finally sinks in. But you can buy a pass that existed in a game.
Starting point is 00:51:37 You can buy a slam dunk. Yep, go on, Jeffrey. I think Amir sent me one where it's just Jetty Osmond checking in. That was the first thing that he and I tried to buy for $4. We tried to buy Jetty Osmond Assist. Is it like the kind of thing where it's like an aquarium's like, you can adopt an otter and like the otter lives at the aquarium,
Starting point is 00:51:56 but you're like, that's my otter. And you wish it would be that, but it's not. Yeah, me and my sister once were definitely gifted stars and we were like, we wanted nintendo games like we are nine years old we're never going to find that star this is a certificate this is such a grift well this is also a grift but it exists in the blockchain and you can it's called nba top shot and for anyone who cares about basketball or collecting things that accrue value you can
Starting point is 00:52:22 buy nba plays and your name is next to the play, and then you can sell it to some other idiot who wants to buy that play. So go to NBA Top Shot. If you have like 40 extra dollars, your mind will be blown. Gaylorg has that. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:52:36 That's all Georg has. He only has the $40, but now he's king of Old Navy, so. Old Navy king is maybe one of my new favorites. The king. Recently I've been investing in Old Navy moments. So it'll be like a divorcee buying denim. Carpet jeans.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Into that. And that's like my name is just there. Because people say it's like, well, can't you just watch the highlight on YouTube? And the answer is yes, you can. Absolutely you can. You can't own it on YouTube. You can buy it somewhere else.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Owning it. Love that. Old Navy Top Shot. Just watching someone buy a denim vest for $17. What about Top Shop Top Shot? Yeah. Top Shop Top Shot. Top Shop Top Shot.
Starting point is 00:53:20 Yeah. Really good. So it's me owning a moment that Riley bought a dress or a blouse from top shop yes into it riley what shook you all night what's been shaking you we have been binging search party like nobody's business it is a fucking phenomenal television program it's incredible but what shook me is not i mean like the show is amazing but um so i i live uh filling out of i live with i live with my friend elizabeth valenti and my boyfriend daniel and so we always have a show that the three of us watch together cute and then daniel and i have a show that we watch together and then
Starting point is 00:53:55 elizabeth and i have a show that we watch together so whatever the rotation is at the time so elizabeth and i have had a lot of time to just binge search party together. And knowing now that Daniel has a little bit more free time, we're like, so when are we going to watch search party? Yeah, right. And so Elizabeth at one point the other night goes like, okay,
Starting point is 00:54:18 we, I'm going to get a pencil and paper. And so she started doing the math of like, well, what are we going to finish first? And if Daniel can't watch on this day, are we going to, I'm like, I think we should finish truth be told before we do search party the math of like, well, what are we going to finish first? And if Daniel can't watch on this day, are we going to, I'm like, I think we should finish Truth Be Told
Starting point is 00:54:27 before we do Surge Party. She's like, I don't know if I can wait that long. And so after doing all the math, we're like, okay, we'll go five, six, seven, seven, and then we'll go eight, nine, 10, eight. And so then once we, so we'll do five, six, seven of Surge Party season three, and then we'll do episode seven of Truth Be Told.
Starting point is 00:54:44 And then we'll do eight, nine, 10 of and then we'll do eight nine ten of surge party and do episode eight of truth be told are you following me neither you need an engineering degree to sort of like from one from the tv like from the living room elizabeth and i are like manic like we're like okay and we're gonna do this and like at first i'm like we're gonna do seven eight she goes no we're gonna do this i'm like oh that's really good that's really good write that down like fully earnest and we just hear daniel laughing from the other he's like what the fuck are you doing it is midnight go to bed i think you can at least have the pride that it's not any more confusing or illogical than buying nba moments yeah yeah prioritizing our television schedule is yeah so that's what's been shaking me is how committed we are to the science behind our viewing experience that's the point of quarantine
Starting point is 00:55:41 that we're at though you know like Of course that's what you're doing Exactly What else are we doing? Jeffrey? Gilmore Girls I've just been watching Gilmore Girls I'm not going to elaborate on it It's great comfort television
Starting point is 00:55:58 It's a hug It's AVVSMR Sorry AVASMR How do you spell ASMR? ASMR AR It's visual. It's A-V-V-S-M-R. Sorry, A-V-A-S-M-R. How do you spell A-S-M-R? A-R... Nine. Nine. A-R-9-9.
Starting point is 00:56:13 What's the number for 911? Billy, Adam, anything to plug? Projects they have together, projects you're working on separately, anything you want to point to people too, the floor is yours, go. No Joke Podcast, baby, every Friday. Baby. Baby. New episodes at no joke pod on twitter no joke pod at gmail.com check us out on the head gum podcast network
Starting point is 00:56:33 new episodes every friday my man did all the heavy lifting i'm just here to say what else no joke podcast he's right that's all beginning endner end there. Yeah. Awesome. Hell yeah. Riley. Thank you guys so much for coming on. This was so much fun. Oh, oh, who? What? You're talking to me? At Riley Cutler? Into the Mist is still running.
Starting point is 00:56:53 And for those of you who don't know, it is an online, immersive, interactive, virtual experience show set in the 20s. I went last Friday. It was awesome. Nice. You went last Friday. It was awesome. And a lot of review of you listeners, y'all showed up and it was so much fun to see you guys there.
Starting point is 00:57:12 The link to tickets is in my bio on Instagram and you can find tickets at intothemist.net and intothemist.net backslash tickets if you really want to get right on there. Or you could just press tickets on the main page. If you love typing. If you love typing, you right on there, uh, or you could just press tickets on the main page. If you love typing,
Starting point is 00:57:28 you can backslash tickets. I just want to give a quick plug to typing. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Just for a great way to communicate. It is digitally. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Yeah. Cool. That's so brave. Yeah. No, I am. Jeff, anything to plug?
Starting point is 00:57:39 Uh, none, nothing. Billy, Adam, thank you so much for fucking coming on here. Thank you guys. So most times I probably said the F curse on a podcast
Starting point is 00:57:47 in my entire life in that third and first scene. So thank you for that. And I'm gonna only bleep when you say it. And then everybody else. It felt great. It was genuinely cathartic. Yeah. You can find Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James
Starting point is 00:58:02 and on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee. And you can find our show at Review Review on Instagram at Review James and on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee and you can find our show at Review Review on Instagram at Review Review Show on Twitter and you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley on Twitter at Riley Coyote and Billy and Adam do you guys want to do each other's socials? You can find Adam at Wild Thing LA
Starting point is 00:58:18 Wild Thing capital LA on both Twitter and Instagram. Wild Thing LA and you can find Billy at I Say Fuck on both Twitter and Instagram. Wild thing LA. And you can find Billy at isayfuckalot at gmail.com. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Yeah. You can just shoot him an email over there. Shoot me that. Billy, you're at Billy Scafuri on all platforms.
Starting point is 00:58:36 And you're Adam Lustick on all freaking platforms, my man. Thank you so much for having us. This was a real blast. Thank you for coming on. This was so much fun.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Yeah, we'll have you guys back on in person. Hopefully. Yeah. Can't wait for that. In the new HeadGum studio. 2025, baby.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Can't wait. Let's thank some VI podcasts, Riley. Big thank you to Aaron Carrico. Adam Shea. Agent Michael Skarn. Acousia Sarfo. Alex Witt. Alton Burkholder.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Alvar Wallstrom Lindell. Anthony Amadeo. Bagadoo. Bob Buell. Brad Hild. Brendan Netz. Bob Buell. Brendan Metz. Cameron Bradley. Christian Basketball.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Connor Finnegan. Daniel Bonney. Eric Crust. Garrett Glasberg. Hot Dog. Isaac Fletcher. Jake Knight. Fancy Octopus Garrett Glasberg Hallie Hot Dog Holly Isaac Fletcher Jake the Snake Radiff Jake Knight
Starting point is 00:59:28 Jake Ullman Jamie Poncia Jared Jason Araya Jesse Tipton Jonah Sanchez Jub FPV Caleb Luster
Starting point is 00:59:39 Katie Ross Kevin Sunt Kerwin Kobe Holus Lauren Malang Malik Mark Priest Matt Box
Starting point is 00:59:48 Matthew Lizama Michael Ebach Michael Rowland Nate Porteus Nikolaj Biergaard Nolan Murphy Phoenix McBurnin P
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Starting point is 01:00:53 Chee! That was a Hiddem Original.

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