Review Revue - Old Navy (w/ Billy Scafuri & Adam Lustick!)
Episode Date: February 9, 2021Billy Scafuri and Adam Lustick (No Joke podcast) join Reilly and Geoff to read reviews about Old Navy and to discuss pseudonyms, shitty acrostic poems, and being put on hold for your entire c...hildhood!Subscribe to No Joke on your favorite podcast app!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @billyscafuri, @adamlustick, @reillyanspaugh, & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @BillyScafuri, @adamlustick, @reilecoyote, & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
At participating restaurants for a limited time. I just wanna know how you feel
For the one love that's so proud and real
You make me wanna go out and steal
I just wanna feel you
I just wanna feel you How did it take us this long
to get this foursome happening?
How?
Foursome?
What?
No, come on.
Jeffrey, there's four people in the chat.
Jeff, don't throw Robbie under the bus right now.
I'm sorry.
It's just, it's been a long quarantine.
It's not a me thing.
It's a Jeff and counting thing.
Jeff's like, well, no, that doesn't add up.
Oh,
it must feel good to howl at the beginning of every episode.
Yeah.
You guys really got to howl out.
That's a true howl at the moon type moment.
It's your barbaric yop.
Yeah,
exactly.
It's our yop.
Guys,
we have Billy and Adam from the no joke podcast on.
We'll cut right to the chase.
I'll admit it.
We got them.
We got them.
You finally got us.
You've been tracking us down for months and months and years.
Lots of negotiating.
We've been negotiating our rate for a while now, going back and forth.
That's why it took this long is we've been saving cash to give you some kind of rate.
We wanted to make sure we would net positive after this experience.
That's exactly right,
because we accept our rate all in one lump sum.
We don't do sort of payment installments.
We like it all in unmarked bills, one trash bag.
We should say that you guys are recording
from individual Star Wagons.
Yes, yes.
That's $10,000 on the day.
That's right.
Yeah, but so yeah, Adam Lustig of Corporate Fame,
Billy Scafuri of Game game on fame on cbs all access
uh the last time you and i talked about game on you were mad at me because i didn't watch it while
it was on tv and now it's on cbs all access right yes that's right cbs all access what a credit
that really makes you feel like a powerhouse when you're like that's right it's on the free
streaming service of a popular network
at least it didn't go the way of quibi cbs all access is going well i read oh
this is news to billy oh i think it's because the access is total right i think that's what
seems so good about it is that it's complete. No more of this half-access bullshit.
CBS partial access is just Mercury Brown.
Just from the late 90s.
You get one of the half-men.
Just the one of the half-men.
Which is a lot of money spent into
editing Alan out of that show.
Yeah, exactly. It seems like maybe
it's not worth the risk.
And then Riley, what's your biggest credit?
Come on, man. We don't have to do this. Being my friend? Obviously, that's not worth the risk, but... And then Riley, what's your biggest credit? Come on, man. We don't have to do this here.
Being my friend?
Yeah.
Obviously, it's not.
What is that even?
Obviously, that's not my biggest credit.
No.
What do you think I've done other than be your friend?
Do you think that's what I do?
I honestly have this insecurity deep down where I have to think of others as not doing well
so that I can think that I'm doing well because in reality
I'm floundering. In reality, you're
sitting in a closet. The three of us are in a room.
My parents' house, Jeffrey. We're in rooms
and you're in your parents' house closet.
And it's not for sound purposes.
Because the ceiling is 20
feet high for some reason, so it's
echoing out the wazoo. It's a depression
based closet choice.
It's less for sound and more out of sadness which we appreciate yeah yeah can i can i ask a question here big fan of the podcast
first of all billy and i are so happy to be here we're so happy to have you guys we're thrilled
uh jeff and riley what has co-hosting this podcast done for your friendship has it sort of
accelerated to new levels has it frayed Has it frayed? Has it frayed
your companionship at all?
I want to hear the real tea.
I feel closer to Riley
than I ever have
in my entire life.
That's on a physical,
spiritual,
and emotional level.
Even though I haven't seen you
in months.
God.
Well, now I don't want to answer
obviously,
obviously anything I say now.
It's okay to repeat things
that I said.
For this to go smoothly, yeah, Jeff and I have connected on an emotional, spiritual plane that I never thought I could reach with anyone.
Not physical.
Jeff brought up physical.
We're on Zoom, right?
Riley does not agree about the whole physical part. No, it's, it's, what's been really nice and strange is like, we've done far more episodes
of this show over Zoom than we have in person.
Yes.
And so, which actually like, one has just been nice to get to do this during COVID,
but also at least once a week for a couple hours to get to just hang with Jeff.
It's been really nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's been really nice. Yeah. My wife asked me,
my wife asked me
whose podcast Adam
and I were doing today
and I said we're doing
Jeff and Riley's podcast
and she said,
who are they?
And I described you guys as,
I described you guys as
what college humor,
what Jake and Amir
were to college humor.
It seems like you two
are to Headcum,
which is kind of the
nicest compliment.
Rascals.
Rascals.
The young up and comers
that are going to own the company one day.
One day, yeah.
That's like what's saying
shell is to big oil
is like what we are to...
What double A...
I don't...
I can't think of anything.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
I am not with you, Jeff.
I am nowhere with you.
I am far away from you
in that analogy.
The thing is,
I know where he's at,
but I don't want to be.
So I'm kind of in the middle of Billy and Adam
of like, I get it. I just really wish
I didn't and I can separate myself as
far away from it as possible. What shell is
to big oil, double A
batteries are to electronic
vehicles. I don't think so.
EVs.
What? EVs.
Electronic vehicles. Yes.
Jeff is in his closet of shame, just slowly sinking under a pile of shirts.
You guys have identical microphones, and Billy and I have identical microphones, which seems
very on-brand for both of us.
Yeah.
That makes a lot of sense.
This is so cute.
This is a meet-cute, I think.
This is the cutest meet-cute that wasn't planned, and we just kind of all stumbled onto the
same Zoom link, and like, whoa, now we're here of all stumbled onto the same zoom link and like now
we're here what are you guys doing here yeah well it is kind of a full circle moment because
riley and i met the day riley and i met we went on your guys's podcast that was the first time
you that was the first time we ever met because i think we didn't introduce it was my first day
oh yeah for those of y'all review of your listeners who want a little head gum history yeah um my first day as an intern i was at the office for maybe 10 minutes but like
creating my head gum email yes sitting with jake and then billy and adam were like hey you work
here i'm like barely and um they're like do you want to be on a podcast
and this is like
the movie dream scenario
of how my first day could have gone
that was the read through episode right
didn't Adam and I bring in like pilot scripts
I really got lucky that you two
that you two said yes
because you were like the two main
I feel like you two are performers
proper performers and the fact that somehow you both were the ones that got plucked to read in
our scripts that's so crazy and that was like being in that room was the first time jeff and i
had ever met um and then to meet you guys and so now to have you guys on our it's just
four years later really lovely that's really crazy my memory of that record is feeling discouraged because the
the scripts were so good and they hadn't been made so i was like if this doesn't get made
i'm not gonna make it in this business yeah it was sort of a scared straight scenario we wanted
to really toughen you guys up we just wanted yeah it doesn't matter if your show is good. It matters who your daddy is.
Exactly.
It matters who your zaddy is.
Yeah, exactly.
My last name should have been Paramount if I was going to make it.
Exactly.
Jeffrey Paramount.
Jeffrey Paramount.
That is the slimiest.
That is the slimiest.
Paramount, Jeffrey Paramount.
I could see an alt reality in which jeffrey actually like if he
didn't like get that job at funny or die or intern there or work at head company he's like i just got
to take a swing like i'm going to reintroduce myself as jeffrey paramount yuck dude i could
see it it's like jeffrey paramount and you cannot you may not call me jeff yeah jeffrey
and you can't even call me jeffrey you have call me Jeffrey Paramount. And the fact that it's spelled
the way that it is, plus Paramount,
is weird. Like, you show up to
the Paramount office and you're just like, do you have an appointment? And you're like, well...
Do you have an appointment?
Mr. Paramount? Well, that's my father.
It's like that scene in Big Fat
Liar where it's like, I ask you, Astrid,
what kind of sick world do we live in
that someone needs an appointment
to see his own father?
Exactly.
Yeah, Jeff shows up to the office and they're like, what's your name?
And he just looks at the logo of Paramount over the desk and he's like, Jeffrey Paramount.
I don't think so, Jeff.
Jeff just held up a notes app where the only thing written is Riley Bogart.
But guys, we're not here to talk about pseudonyms. I don't think so, Jeff. Jeff just held up a notes app where the only thing written is Riley Bogart. What?
I didn't want to interrupt.
But guys, we're not here to talk about pseudonyms, right?
No.
Like, let's not get too distracted, okay?
Thank you.
Okay, Adam, all right.
We are here to talk about the one and only the incomparable the wickedly talented old navy
yes
jeffrey sent me over a list of potential topics for the podcast today and the last one on the
list was old navy and something about that just spoke to me and
adam's brand in a way i can't explain riley came up with this one amazing so funny so plain we are
suburban children of the 90s i would say that throughout my junior high to high school career
upwards of nine i would say at the very least 85 at the most 98 of my wardrobe was old navy
no doubt about it so you had a sock that wasn't from old navy just one sock from aero pastel
that was it yeah right my price some of your favorite pieces yeah that was just i can tell you
uh my most prized possession um from old navy was the simple gray
tea i feel like old navy one of the things that they did really well was like great was like what's
the dullest don't look at me gray color that we can possibly make but i loved the gray weathered
gray t-shirt that just said in that like old sort of like old-timey new york yankees font
old navy right there it was was very simple and straightforward.
That was my favorite piece.
He really loves it.
Sure.
We're familiar.
Those big stores, they love putting the name of their store on the front of their
shirt.
It's so interesting. It's just like, this is
from Old Navy.
There's no getting around it.
No one's ever going to ask where I got it from.
That and the carpenter pant.
I had sixes and sevens of carpenter pants.
Carpenter pants.
Adam, what is the thing that makes a carpenter pant
the carpenter pant?
That would be the loop for the hammer
that I was always carrying.
The hammer loop.
The hammer loop.
My best friend put a hammer in the hammer loop
during high school one day,
and he got detention. And his whole argument was, it's a hammer loop for hammer loop during high school one day, and he got detention.
And his whole argument was, it's a hammer loop for hammers.
And they're like, you can't bring a hammer to school.
And he's like, but my pants have a hammer loop.
I have to use the loop.
My pants demand it.
My pants demand it.
Such a smartass.
The pants aren't what they are unless there's a hammer in the loop.
The hammer loop.
Yeah, the casual hammer loop. The hammer loop sounds like
a roller coaster in
a cartoon where it's like the big kids
are trying to get
the main kind of scaredy cat
kid to be like, well, if you really want
to make it in this town, you gotta ride the hammer
loop.
And it cuts to someone
just dying on the hammer loop
and they're like, there's a dead body on the roller coaster.
It's just an army hammer themed roller coaster.
Just dead bodies everywhere.
Him reliving the last month on a roller coaster.
Yeah, exactly.
Nightmare.
Not to get sidetracked, but was he drinking blood?
Just to clear that up.
Was army hammer drinking blood? Want just to clear that up was was army
hammer drinking blood wanting he's like lightly a cannibal craving at the very least but i think
drinking blood yeah i think a little nibble of human flesh here and there i think cannibal
curious cannibal curious he's the only person that q could have been right about but they didn't talk about him at all exactly exactly he flew really under the radar
um well free old navy old navy there's an old navy in solon ohio adam yeah if you can believe
it what's that i believe it i do believe it um and it was labrador and thine. It was at once one room, but also with as many twists and curves of any retail environment I've ever been a part of.
Baskets of denim.
Baskets of denim.
Racks full of marl.
I'm sorry, racks full of what?
Marl.
You were mentioning, Adam already mentioned the gray, and it was often a marl gray.
Marl.
I've never heard the word marl.
I've only heard the term shades
of gray without knowing any of the
actual shades. So I think this is
my first known shade, marl.
No, I'd never, I did buy things from Old Navy,
but they always
had clearance, always were a lot of
clearance racks, and that's where the deals were to be had.
So much disdain in your voice. No, it's
lust. Lust.
It's longing. Passion. Passion.
Passion, yeah. Yeah. It's hard
to imagine Old Navy having clearance
items, because it felt like everything was $4.99
and less. So it's like, how
much more clear can we get?
Yeah.
It went from $4.99 to $2.99 to 299 yeah like 239 for like a pair of jeans
i remember going to the third street promenade and i don't think it's there anymore but there
was a big old navy at third street promenade in santa monica and i remember like seeing the people
who were around and buying and in line and i'm like this is what being 30 is gonna be 30 this is like what being
a 30 year old like professional woman is going to mean because professional women are always
carrying their hammers with them at all times i just remember like seeing like they do really
good basics and like just seeing that and like seeing these people
in their old navy denim like this is you know like early early aughts yeah yeah like this is like
when i'm older like i'm gonna be i really don't think so the birth of old navy kind of came out
of it felt like when gap was like the store yeah it was like popping like the cast of friends was wearing gap
clothing and it was just like khaki pants blue shirts like real basics like riley said and then
old navy just shows up out of nowhere and it's like yo we can do what the gap does for 70 off
yeah and leave with 40 articles of clothing.
And you're like, oh my God, I look like I shopped at The Gap.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm a professional woman.
I shop at Old Navy.
I did love The Gap.
That's the thing.
A lot of what I had and wore was from The Gap.
So I wasn't necessarily a professional businesswoman, but I was on the cast of Friends.
And your work was so good on the show had the aro pastel which was like the junior varsity like we're kind of like that and gap had old navy whereas like things are going to be a little
cheaper and they look the same i got it what old navy is to gap riley and i are to jake and amir
and double batteries are to electronic vehicles.
And shell is to gas,
I guess.
That last one's just
the chance. You got it.
It was a long walk, but we got there.
Should we get into our first review?
Well, you know what I did? I googled reviews
of my local upstate
Albany, New York, Crosstade, small Old Navy
and I found some reviews.
Yeah.
For lack of a better term.
For lack of a better word, sweatshirt.
Okay.
So Stephanie V.
Billy, last name for Stephanie V.
Stephanie Varamount.
Got it.
Stephanie Varamount. This is from Stephanie Varamount, and it has four out of the five possible left one off okay left one
off so uh here's what stephanie or or uh for lack of a better word miss varamount says she says old
navy the company has good quality clothes for decent prices especially during sale times i tend I'm saying.
The one difficult part about this store is that because it is in the mall, there tend to be long lines. Be mindful of that when you want to come here and purchase items during typical busy times
at the mall.
In parentheses, weekend nights, Friday night, rainy days.
Rainy days.
Didn't see that sneaking in.
Weekends and rainy days.
So that's Stephanie's review.
Pretty positive, generally, I would say.
Four stars.
I love that she's describing just going to Malta to buy something.
She's like,
just be wary
when you're going to go
to the store to purchase items
is that there might be
other people
also wanting to purchase items
on the day that you're going
to go to that place
to buy something.
And on the busier days,
there will be more people
outside.
Just know that.
Heads up.
Just to be crystal,
the busier days
tend to be weekends,
but also maybe rainy days rainy days yeah exactly
i like the idea of like a uh an foreign exchange student or somebody like living in the united
states for the first time and someone's explaining retail to them it's like yeah no we we have this
in germany so georg we're so excited to have you here um and I'm so glad you decided to come out with me and my friends.
Like, you know, I know that I'm like your host sister, but I want to be like your real sister.
And so these are my buddies, Tim and Tom.
And we're going to show you what it's like to really live in Chestnut Creek.
Right, guys?
Yeah.
Georg, have you ever gone shopping at the mall on a rainy day?
Georg, do you ever gone shopping at the mall on a rainy day? Georg, do you understand English?
Georg?
No, I speak English.
I'm shocked at the, what is this that you call this building with all these stores inside?
What is this that you call this?
Oh, my God.
Tell them, Tom.
This is so cute.
Tom, you tell them.
This is a mall.
And so there's-
Is it a mall?
Mall.
Yeah, mall.
M-A-W-L. Mall. I don't think so, Tim. No, m-a-w-l mall i don't think so no m-a-l-l m-a-l-l that's what i
said right there's tell them tom like what the bear might do to you for instance if you come
across it in the woods a mall it malls you okay i see what he's doing he's trying to like relate
everything to his mother country russia yeah yes. But no, I'm very excited.
I've never been, I've experienced much rain in life, but never this mall.
Very excited to be here as well.
Georg, you're going to love it.
When it rains, it gets super packed inside.
Like sunny days.
Let's just say when it rains, it pours.
Exactly.
You might not know that expression because you're from another country, but that's a very popular expression.
I'm laughing along as well. I'm laughing with you. Yeah. He gets it. He gets it. Do you not have malls where you're from another country, but that's a very popular expression. I'm laughing along as well. I'm laughing with you.
Yeah, he gets it. He gets it.
Do you not have malls where you're from, Georg? Where do you guys shop in your mother country?
Shop? Oh, well, my mother and father-
Purchase goods.
Not much good where I come from, but I can tell you that my mother and father have made
me all clothes since I was baby up until this very day. So I that my mother and father have made me all clothes since I was baby up until this very day.
So I guess my mother and father are mall?
No.
Georg, you are going to – we have to show you this store.
There's this store in the mall.
It's really big, and there's all these winding denim hallways.
What is it?
It's called Old Navy, and you can buy. Do you have money? Do you have currency,
Georg? I have. Let me see
what I have in here. I have... I think
my dad should have given him some allowance.
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Your dad
gave me, this looks like,
$220 bill, so 20 plus 20
is $220. $40.
It's not $220.
Georg, here's the thing about this store.
With that amount of money
when you go into the store
you're king
you can buy
whatever you want
I'm king of
I'm king of navy
you are going to be
the king of old navy
right guys
like come on
like with that cash
in there
you are going to be
the king of old navy
where I come from
I am poor peasant boy who lives in snow and eats nothing for weeks.
And now you tell me that with two pieces of this paper, I am king of the Navy?
Georg, you can buy pants that have pockets on the outside.
Pockets on pockets on pockets.
I'm talking cargo pants.
Have you ever had a cargo pants, Georg?
I've never owned pocket in life up to now. I've never had
pocket. I just carry all my goods
in my arms. I've never had pocket
ever one time. And you're telling me I could
have pants with many, many pockets?
Multiple pockets, Georg.
For very few dollars. Come inside.
That's all, baby. What do you like? What do you
see? What do you like?
Oh my god, look at all the gray.
Oh, all the marl moral look at all these delicious
sorry you know you knew moral but you didn't know mall easy easy i'm sorry i'm just getting a little
frustrated with gaylord like i don't know why you guys are so excited he doesn't know basic stuff
because he lived in remote areas near baron the scent of vodka i know certain little words. I know moral and I know
I know
Mostly moral.
Mostly moral. When we're at home
he just all the time at dinner he'll be like
moral, moral, moral. And we're like
yes, yes Georg, moral.
And he'll be like moral. And then my dad
will be like that's enough of the moral.
It's the moral of the story.
That's a different word. Don't confuse him we've had mall moral and now moral all these
words sound very similar to gare but um i am here i think i'm ready to buy i'm ready for to be king
i'm ready to buy all of the moral um and i rather than buy as king, may I, and no offense to you, Riley, or your dad for housing me, but can I live in Navy?
Or if I'm king, can I live here at Navy?
This is why we have to be like really literal, right, guys?
Like this is what I was worried about is you said he was king.
And that was metaphorical.
Hi, guys.
Welcome to Old Navy.
Are you ready to check out?
I see you got a whole bunch of Merle shirts in your hands there there i can help you ring that up in the front hello subject yeah listen listen
kind of a weird question so this is our kind of foreign exchange buddy uh georg he can't hear me
because i'm whispering he can't hear low frequency talking so got it he was hoping to potentially
it's gonna sound crazy, but live here.
I know that's crazy, but is he okay if you just let him sleep over for the night just under a pile of pants or something like that?
Just to kind of give him the real American experience.
You let us know.
Listen, I don't know if I can be the one to make that decision.
I might need to talk to my supervisor about letting someone spend the night in the store.
He'll give you $20.
You're lying.
Stop it.
Don't yank my chain about that right now.
I can't handle it.
He has two $20 bills in his pocket.
I'm not lying.
And he'll give you one of them
if you let him sleep under a pile of pants.
I take you by the collar of your shirt.
You're not lying to me right now.
I swear to God,
if you're telling the truth,
he can stay in the store as long as he wants.
Sir, is he... No, we're really
like... He actually has 220.
He seriously has 220s. I'm not kidding.
Okay, Georg, can I...
I hate to be rude, but can I
see these two $20 bills that
they claim that you have?
You won't see this, of course. One of my many
royal and devoted subjects. I will, of course, do this
as your king. I will show you my paper.
Here, here. One
paper, two paper.
They're glowing somehow.
What the fuck?
This is paper that I have as your king.
These are my royal papers as well.
I get on the speaker.
Attention, old navy shoppers!
Attention, old navy shoppers. No fucking way.
Everyone come to the main floor immediately.
We have a new king.
I repeat, long live the king.
The entire store.
Long live the king.
Denim trumpet fanfare going everywhere.
$20 bills?
Whoa.
Look at that.
Gray mall, 100% cotton confetti goes up.
They hoist him up on one of the denim pile racks.
This is wonderful.
Now bring me to your hammers.
You do know about Old Navy.
You know about the carpenter pants.
Oh. Riley would you like to do
our next review?
certainly
certainly
hold on
just a touch
no it's moral
moral
okay
so last night
I was like, oh man.
Okay.
Time to look up an Old Navy review.
And I don't do this often, but the first review that I found, I'm like, well, obviously it
has to be this one.
So this is for, and so I actually didn't look up the Old Navy where I thought I was going
to become a woman in Santa Monica.
Don't say it like that.
It's because I don't think it's there
anymore.
But this is the one in Oakland.
This is from
Dennis S.
Does anyone have a last name for Dennis?
Adam? Scafuri. Okay. Dennis Scafuri.
Dennis Scafuri. That's your alias.
Jeffrey Paramount
and Dennis Scafuri.is the menace skifuri
this is one star oh um from january 25th 2021 recent press okay here we go i came last saturday
the 23rd and took two underwears i was ready to go to the cashier, but a security employee asked me to show my pants, but I refused.
Another one came and told me that he saw me on camera putting me in underwear in my pants.
I was obliged to show them that they made a wrong accusation.
When they saw that I didn't steal anything, a third one asked me if I wanted to buy anything.
Of course I said no.
Then they brought me to the exit.
After that, I called them and asked for them to apologize.
The employee said he was sorry, and he took my name.
I said, Dennis, like a dog, and he said no.
I said, sorry, like Dieu, God in French.
He took my phone number and told me that he'll call me back on Saturday,
but they didn't.
I called again, and they said again
that they'd call me on Monday.
I just want to say that I'm a caregiver,
and this is the day that my patient
went to take his vaccination for COVID-19.
Plus, I'm 58.
I've never stolen my life.
Old Navy.
O, like old.
Security.
S, like STD.
No fucking way.
Am I a victim?
V, like victory.
Be careful to bother nice people.
There's always justice from who?
From God.
Sometimes you deal with somebody more important than you see.
This is a crazy person.
This is a crazy person.
When I first read this, I thought that they were spelling Old Navy.
Yeah, it's not the cross stick.
But it was O, like O,
or whatever, S, V.
I'm like, what are you spelling?
Don't emphasize the letter.
Of all the batshit crazy stuff,
Dieu was the one that was like,
excuse me?
You can't slip into French.
You're a psycho.
We've already established you're a psycho.
Dieu, God in French.
And it's not clarifying at all to say, that's my name, Dennis,'re a psycho. We've already established you're a psycho. God in French. And it's not clarifying at all to say
that's my name, Dennis, like a dog.
Dogs can be named anything.
That's in no way clarifying.
You knew he was crazy out the gate
when he said, I took two underwears.
You can't take two underwears.
Also, phrasing it like, I took two underwears
sounds like they were stealing.
Exactly. I know. If he just said, he's like, I picked up two to then go buy it. But then he's like, like I took two underwear sounds like they were stealing exactly I know if he just said he's like I
I picked up two to then go buy
it but then he's like so I took two and then they
asked me to show them because they said it was stealing
like no I just took them
and he said like show they asked
me to show them my pants which
leads me to believe like did you put the under
did you take the underpants on your pants
on your legs are you wearing the underpants
they thought that he stuffed them in his pants.
But I also love the clarifier that's like, well, I'm 58.
I've actually never stolen in my life.
I'm 58.
So, yeah.
Cut me some slack.
You're at a wedding reception giving a speech.
Oh, Peter.
How long has it been, man?
20 years since college?
Yeah, bro.
Yeah.
I thought that I would start us off with some With a poem
The whole crowd is like aww
So many memories
This could be anything
P
Important
Important rather
To me that Peter is
You're a real
Mainstay in my life Peter Peter, and I hope that you
and Lisa have a long relationship.
Long as in
till death do you part.
E.
Everyone can see
how much you guys love each other, right?
I mean, I can see it in the way you guys look.
I want to find someone that looks at me
the way Lisa looks at you, Peter.
Leaning over to Peter. Sorry, so that P, that was all just the way Lisa looks at you, Peter. Lean over to Peter.
Sorry.
So that was all just the first letter of the acrostic.
Sometimes it just goes off on its tangents and it's better to not stop them.
It's like waking someone up when they're sleepwalking.
This is going to be the longest acrostic poem ever.
Nine.
Let it happen.
Nine.
The number of sexual partners I know that you've had before.
Hold on.
Lisa.
No.
That's not true, honey.
That's not true, honey.
Nine. You told me four. you've had before hold on please no yes that's not true honey that's not true honey nine you told
me four you have enough of a sample size to know whether this sexual chemistry is gonna work i'm
sorry aunt elizabeth who aunt elizabeth that's my aunt yeah who's also there attending she's here
um this is crazy, but yeah. Another P.
Fantastic spelled with a PH.
And that's what this wedding has been.
I love you, Peter.
And Lisa, welcome to the family.
Thanks, buddy.
Means a lot. cheers uh thank thank you so much uh that was so beautiful um am i i don't mean to be rude looking out to the crowd but am i am i am i just a little too
drunk off the champagne or did he not spell peter's name he spelled p P-E-9-P.
I was trying to keep track.
It was...
Yeah.
Thanks, Dad.
Thank you.
No, I was keeping notes here.
But P-E-9-P was the...
P-E-9-P.
Yeah.
If that's...
Yeah.
It's kind of a weird quirk of his.
I kind of let it go.
He...
And this is between you and me, Lisa.
But I think he can't spell. i honestly think that he can't spell okay i feel bad i didn't
want to call him out or shame him or embarrass him or anything i feel like i should go apologize
i feel like i should go apologize r is for the way you look at me just let him go, hun. O is for the only one.
I see.
C is very, very extraordinary.
Nine is like the nine in Peter's name, and that is fine.
Now R.
R-O-C-9-R. name and that is fine now r r c r o c nine r see it we just sometimes gotta let him just have it
we all have our quirks hey simon we're on the dance floor hey simon can i talk to you for a
second hey hey congratulations oh thank you so much it means it means the world that you're here
um and i just i just want to say like i'm i'm really sorry for
kind of bringing up your problem for lack of a better term in front of the whole reception that
that was so uncool of me and i had i had no idea and so you know if you need anything i'm here for
you and i just i just wanted to say that i'm oh i dropped my glass that i'm really sorry about that
oh after my speech i went straight to the bathroom what problem do i have you you know you well i
mean the the come on you can be honest with me we're family now you're my brother-in-law i mean
like the the poem you wrote just how it was written it's fine i mean like it was really
endearing and i think the sentiment was so beautiful um but i think know, if you need help, just ask.
I'm a teacher.
And so this is kind of what I do.
I didn't want to have to do this.
Hey, everyone.
What?
Yeah, what is it?
Yeah?
Yeah? We're going to take a quick poll and then we'll get back to the festivities.
If you think my poem was the best speech of the night,
stand on that corner of the room.
And if not, you stand on the other.
And if there's not enough room in that corner,
then that's fine, but my point
will be made. I walk over to one corner.
Nobody follows.
Music slowly comes back and everybody just goes
back to dancing.
His jaw is on the floor Everybody
Yeah
Rocking body
Yeah
Everybody
Backstreet's back tonight
Backstreet's back
Alright
Lisa's dad walks over to Simon and says Hey Simon Back streets, back streets. All right.
Lisa's dad walks over to Simon and says, hey, Simon, that was a pretty wild poll you just took, huh?
Anyway, I just want to say, now that we're family and everything, you know, my daughter, she's a teacher, and if you ever need any help with anything kind of grammar-related or alphabet-related or any ABC stuff that you might need help with, even ABCD.
Yeah.
I yell out from the back, or one, two, threes.
Yeah, any of the numbers and letters stuff.
Like, Lisa is so smart, and she'd be, you know, we're family now, and you don't need to be embarrassed and um just want to kind of put that out there i thought your speech and your poem
were really lovely really heartfelt and beautiful but really again and any abc stuff you need um
no no shame no embarrassment but lisa's happy to help you out yeah i actually really fucking
appreciate that okay watch the language but i cool sorry i really f u nine five k l four
appreciate that i know there's children around all right um how do you spell how do you spell
your name i've heard simon spelled so many different ways i'm just curious as to how you
spell simon s i m and that's it okay so yeah i would say i would say if ever you want any kind
of i'm not even saying like a formal tutoring thing but even if you just want to chat with
lisa about your name and um the letters in it or the letters that aren't in it or what the difference
even is between letters and numbers yeah um she would be i think happy i speak for her when i say
she'd be happy to help you out now that we're family just again letters and numbers and how
they're different and just the fact that they are different yes yeah and if you ever want help
writing the next wedding speech come to me because you know great i. I will definitely take that under.
Subpar and not in a golf way.
Okay.
Well, anyway, happy that you're here, Simon.
Can I give you a hug?
May I hug you?
I'm just waiting for your consent.
Sorry, I was thinking about it.
We've all come over to the corner of the room now.
The entire wedding is now standing in the corner
waiting for you to either hug the father-in-law or not.
The DJ's even over here now.
The music has stopped.
Is Simon going to?
He's acknowledged that he can't spell.
He's acknowledged that he needs help.
If he'll just hug the father-in-law,
we can get back to the wedding and celebrate.
Simon, we can't continue until you hug my dad.
We're all in the corner of this banquet hall.
Just hug Lisa's father-in-law, Simon, for the love of God.
Please, Simon.
Simon, this is taking way too long, buddy.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Everybody's so close to me in this corner.
I didn't ask you to do that.
You did.
You literally asked us to do it.
In the poll, not to hug him.
All right.
A few people start trickling away from the corner.
They've lost interest in this potential hug.
Well, hang on a minute, because if I'm going to do it, I want an audience.
You told us that you didn't even want us here in the first place.
I'm so alone in this world.
Right?
So to see Peter and Lisa and what they they have i'm four years older than peter
how humiliating is that that i haven't found my spouse humiliating this is peter he i'm approaching
lisa hey lisa listen i got to apologize for simon he's really kind of taken the spotlight away from
our special day and i was gonna say like this is, I think that if it's up to me,
I think that maybe
you and I go our own ways.
We both start fresh.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
This has like just been,
I'm overwhelmed
by this whole thing.
For a little respect
when you get home.
Yeah, baby.
When you get home.
Are you divorcing me?
We got married
like 30 minutes ago.
That's how you spell respect. The whole father-in-law refuses to hug like 30 minutes ago that's how you spell respect
that's how you spell respect and suck it to me simon to me simon to me simon to me simon to me
simon to me simon to me simon to me i don't even want to be part of this family anyway
really quick cut to simon years from now he has a wife and they have a dog
and they don't want to get the dog too excited.
Okay, Simon, we need to go take him on a W-A-L-K.
So I just like, whenever you're ready,
just let me, just tell me then, and then I'll know.
We're going to take the dog on a roller coaster?
All right, do you have time for one more review?
I got nothing but time.
We got the time.
If you got the time.
All right, I'm between two.
We have a five star and a one star.
Which one do you guys want to hear?
I'm intrigued by the one star.
I know we just heard a one star,
but I like a good scathing, a good scathing review.
Love it.
All right, here we go.
One star from Jan Marie O.
Riley, what does the O stand for?
Jan Marie O. Riley, what does the O stand for?
Janmarie O. Janmarie.
Janmarie O. Janmarie.
Beautiful.
One star.
July 21st last year.
This is of the Old Navy in Colma, California.
I don't exactly.
Oh, I think it's near San Francisco. Who hasn't been to Holma California at least once?
Right? One star.
Old Navy customer service.
Worst ever.
I've been on the line
for six hours
yet nobody
answered my call.
Is that the end of the review?
Amazing!
Amazing! How long would you wait?'s your threshold old navy let's go one yeah down the line what's your threshold of staying online for customer
service for like a clothing brand i think it's 30 minutes for me i was gonna say 35 30 minutes
i was gonna say 30 minutes yeah yeah i'm trying to imagine the biggest problem I could have had with an old
baby experience.
Like, what is the worst
thing that could have happened
at an old baby? I walked out with my carpet
and there was a very sharp hammer already
in it and it gouged my leg.
Yeah, which that's not a customer
service issue. That's a lawsuit.
What are you talking about? Six hours?
I'm calling customer service. Ring, ring. Hello. God, i feel like i've been waiting forever honey dinner's ready i know
i'm sorry one sec this should just take a little bit okay come when you're ready shouldn't be too
much longer okay all right hi hello hi there this is old navy customer support can i put you on a
brief hold thank you oh i was just on hold yeah it's. Cut to 45 minutes later. Hi there. Sorry about that.
My name is Dereb.
I'm with Old Navy Customer Service.
How can I help you today?
Thank you so much, Dereb.
Well, now, I mean, listen, Dereb, can I be honest?
I started with one complaint, but obviously now there's two.
I feel like I was on hold for way too long for the original complaint that I had.
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
Let me take the second complaint first.
How long have you been on hold for?
I have been on hold for maybe about two and a half hours.
Oh, that's not so bad. Our average wait time hovers around four, four and a half, five hours. So you're actually, this is fairly expedient to be honest with you.
Your average wait time is four and a half hours for Old Navy?
Well, it sounds kind of outrageous, but we have a lot of, we do a lot of business here at Old Navy, as you know, and thank you so much for your business. I want to make that clear.
Okay.
There's a lot of troubleshooting that goes on here at Colma.
It's one of California's number six rated Old Navy, not to brag.
Oh, wow.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you very much.
We're very proud of that.
So there's a lot of – oh, I'm sorry.
I'm going to be on a brief hold.
So sorry.
I'm sorry.
We just got to me.
We just got to me. We just got to me. This is the Hold'em.
This is the Hold'em California Old Navy Customer Service.
I think we're located in Hold'em, California.
Who am I speaking to?
Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?
Hi.
Sorry.
Sorry it's so late.
Thank you for taking my call.
We're talking to Jasmine right now.
Hello, Jasmine.
This is Darab2.
My name is Darab2.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Proud to let you know, Jasmine, that we are California's sixth rated Old Navy.
So I've heard.
So I've heard.
California's sixth rated Old Navy in the state we aim to solve all your
problems in a timely manner again this is derib too who do i have the pleasure of speaking to
i just told you and you just said it my name is still jasmine you're still on the phone with me
can i please just get to my complaint i've been waiting what kind of still jasmine what kind of
experience what would you say you're looking for in the old
navy experience because here at the uh hold them whole whole whole come whole come old navy six
rated california we aim to please so still jasmine what uh what can i do for you my god i sorry i
feel like i've been on this phone call for the past 10 years. 10 years. Oh, that's nothing. That's actually pretty expedient.
Yeah, we usually aim to...
Oh, Darab2, it was a figment of speech.
We usually take people's adolescence.
We'll usually take you from about 6 to 24.
You'll usually get on late 20s.
How old are you still, Jasmine, if you don't mind me asking?
Still, I know.
Darab2.
I understand you're Darab2.
I'm 29 yearsl too I'm
29 years old I'm 29 years old
I don't think that matters to me the complaint that I
had originally when I hopped on the phone with Daryl
let me be the first to wish
you a very happy birthday here
from California's
number six
California
if you'll hold on one second it seems
that I have another
be right back honey Honey, I put
the food in the fridge. I'll see you tomorrow morning.
I'm so sorry about this, honey. I just know that
it's gonna, listen, if it's already taking this long,
I can't possibly go through this again.
So I figured I'm just gonna stick with it.
Cut to midnight. Hi there.
Hi. Are you still with us?
Unfortunately, I am. Is this still Jasmine?
It's Jasmine. Yeah.
Am I talking to Darab1 or 2 or 5?
This is the original.
This is Darab Prime.
Okay.
Hi, Darab.
Hi, how are you?
You've got Darab2 on the line as well.
We're both here.
Bit of a conference call.
I don't need to talk to both of you.
Both Darabs.
The aperture of Darab2 explained this to you, still Jasmine, but we're working as fast as
we can here at Old Navy.
The wait time here usually spans a person's adolescence.
I don't know if Darab2 was able to make that clear.
You told me.
Sorry, Darab1, you told me it was six hours.
Some people have waited up until middle age.
Some people have made it up to middle age.
Some people have made it to retirement before they get around to their customer complaint.
This is Darab2 from Fulcrum Hold'ems.
Number six rated Old the state of California.
So we just want to ask, now that we have hopefully tackled your second complaint about the wait time,
which, as we've explained, takes one human adolescence,
your first complaint, I'd like to actually know, what's the deal?
What's fucked up about your clothes?
It seems so...
Well, Darab, Darab... Still Jasmine, tell us what's fucked. Tell us what's fucked right now. What got fucked up about your clothes? It seems so... Well, Dereb.
Still Jasmine, tell us what's fucked.
Tell us what's fucked right now.
Oh my god, we don't need to use this language.
This is unbelievable.
It's okay.
It sounds like you have a problem.
Tell us what got majorly fucked.
What's royally fucked in your life right now?
Still Jasmine.
In my life, I wear the clothes.
I know it's Dereb too.
Tell us your top three complaints about life and adolescence this is derrick two tell us what's
royally fucked we'll get to the old baby complaint but what's fucked generally in your life first and
why don't we start there my husband stopped paying attention to me which is why i started
shopping at old navy again we get that a lot yep that sounds fucked it's fucked yeah you know what
darryl too and darryl it is fucked it is fucked my my kids hate me my husband doesn't even look
at me and you know what my dog's starting to annoy the shit out of me if i'm being really
honest about it so still jasmine here's what i'm gonna suggest to you because i have a lot i have
a lot of things that are fucked in my life as well. They've been fucked for
years. And you know what unfucked a lot of those
fucking problems still, Jasmine?
Was getting a job in customer
service at Old Navy.
You treat people like shit, you have all
the power in the world, and you can just
tell them to fuck themselves when you want.
Please hold. No!
This should be a week long.
Who would like to start?
Anything fucked in your guys' lives or good okay i'll start this is maybe a base this
is fairly basic um we're all stuck at home we have nothing to do but watch tv um my television
obsession of the moment that i would like to share um billy and i have talked about this is a show
on hbo called how to with john wilson not sure if you guys have been watching this okay great
it's totally exquisite there's some weird funny, John Wilson, who walks around with his camera.
And it's just like gets truly some of the wildest B-roll footage of New York City eccentrics that I've ever seen in my life.
And it's like so cleverly edited.
And it's got sort of a Joe Pera calm vibe to it.
And it's really been, it's weirdly soothing. It's like a soothing
television viewing experience and
has definitely been an anxiety calmer
for me and I
can't recommend it enough. It's so funny and silly and good.
That's wonderful. Adam,
we didn't get to hear your answer from
early. I don't know if you remember. It was a whole
adolescence ago, but have you ever
had to use a pseudonym? A pseudonym
in life. have i ever
you did give yourself your own yes okay this is humiliating so when i was in little league i was
a youth i was playing youth baseball and the movie major league had just come out so this is like
early 90s or late 80s even and one of the players in major league is played by charlie sheen is sort of the
eccentric wild boy party guy closing pitcher big character and he uh has the nickname wild thing
so nine-year-old me asked my baseball team and the coaches and the parents if they wouldn't mind
calling me wild thing so i asked, and as anyone knows,
cannot give yourself a nickname.
That is not how nicknames work.
That has never been how nicknames work.
That's the cutest thing I've ever heard.
Also to be, it's like the least wild thing
to ask to be called Wild Thing.
Yes.
So tame.
So tame.
Normal Thing.
Yeah.
Normal Thing. Wild Thing has to come from the outside in.
People have to acknowledge, like, that dude is wild.
Wild thing.
So I've tried to impose a pseudonym on myself.
I've tried to force it, but I haven't.
I've yet to be successful.
Yeah, it didn't catch.
Wild thing.
Yeah, it didn't catch.
That's adorable.
Well, let's come up with one with a nickname for you right now, and it'll stick.
That'd be great.
It's on you guys, though.
It's up to you.
I can't do it myself.
But please, I'm thirsty for a nickname, whatever you got.
Don't even overthink it.
It could be really anything.
I'll take anything.
Jeffrey has the classic overthinking face.
Jeff has it.
Jeff Paramount.
Also, Jeff renamed himself.
Obviously, it would be Jeffrey Paramount.
But Mr. Paramount, I see something brewing.
He wants this.
He wants to stick the landing.
My name is Adam Lustig.
It could be a riff on that, or it could be totally random.
I'm just like, I'm thirsty for some sort of like force.
Spit it out, Paramount.
What is it?
Spit it out, Paramount.
The franchise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
That franchise is Old Navy, right? Absolutely. So you're a franchise in Old Navy. Okay, cool. Yeah, with. Okay. That franchise is Old Navy, right?
Absolutely.
So you're franchising Old Navy.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, with residual checks.
Hell yeah.
I'll take it.
The franchise.
That's a short squeeze.
A short squeeze.
Yeah.
A dying business and you're going all in on it.
All in.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
I'll take it.
I'm going to call my Little League team today and tell them.
Thank you. They're so proud. We're changing it. We're changing it. Never mind.. I'll take it. I'm going to call my Little League team today and tell them. Thank you.
They're so proud.
We're changing it. Never mind.
Remember 27 years ago I asked you to call me Wild Thing?
Now call me the franchise in parentheses
Old Navy. We didn't remember that.
You asked us to call you Wild Thing?
We're all lawyers now.
That's really sad.
My office is on the 39th
floor. Go away.
One thing that is shaking me up has shook me up
uh i talked about it on buckets this past week you can buy nba moments so i grew up owning
basketball cards and baseball cards which are still framed images on cardboard but now you can
buy plays you can be the owner of plays.
You can buy NBA plays and own NBA plays.
I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself until that finally sinks in.
But you can buy a pass that existed in a game.
You can buy a slam dunk.
Yep, go on, Jeffrey. I think Amir sent me one where it's just Jetty Osmond checking in.
That was the first thing that he and I tried to buy for $4.
We tried to buy Jetty Osmond Assist.
Is it like the kind of thing
where it's like an aquarium's like,
you can adopt an otter
and like the otter lives at the aquarium,
but you're like, that's my otter.
And you wish it would be that, but it's not.
Yeah, me and my sister
once were definitely gifted stars
and we were like, we wanted nintendo games
like we are nine years old we're never going to find that star this is a certificate this is such
a grift well this is also a grift but it exists in the blockchain and you can it's called nba top
shot and for anyone who cares about basketball or collecting things that accrue value you can
buy nba plays and your name is next to the play,
and then you can sell it to some other idiot
who wants to buy that play.
So go to NBA Top Shot.
If you have like 40 extra dollars,
your mind will be blown.
Gaylorg has that.
That's insane.
That's all Georg has.
He only has the $40,
but now he's king of Old Navy, so.
Old Navy king is maybe one of my new favorites.
The king.
Recently I've been investing in Old Navy moments.
So it'll be like a divorcee buying denim.
Carpet jeans.
Into that.
And that's like my name is just there.
Because people say it's like,
well, can't you just watch the highlight on YouTube?
And the answer is yes, you can.
Absolutely you can.
You can't own it on YouTube.
You can buy it somewhere else.
Owning it.
Love that.
Old Navy Top Shot.
Just watching someone buy a denim vest for $17.
What about Top Shop Top Shot?
Yeah.
Top Shop Top Shot.
Top Shop Top Shot.
Yeah.
Really good.
So it's me owning a moment that Riley bought a dress or a blouse from top shop yes into
it riley what shook you all night what's been shaking you we have been binging search party
like nobody's business it is a fucking phenomenal television program it's incredible but what shook
me is not i mean like the show is amazing but um so i i live uh filling out of i live with i live with
my friend elizabeth valenti and my boyfriend daniel and so we always have a show that the
three of us watch together cute and then daniel and i have a show that we watch together and then
elizabeth and i have a show that we watch together so whatever the rotation is at the time so
elizabeth and i have had a lot of time to just binge search party together. And knowing now that Daniel has a little bit more free time,
we're like,
so when are we going to watch search party?
Yeah,
right.
And so Elizabeth at one point the other night goes like,
okay,
we,
I'm going to get a pencil and paper.
And so she started doing the math of like,
well,
what are we going to finish first?
And if Daniel can't watch on this day, are we going to, I'm like, I think we should finish truth be told before we do search party the math of like, well, what are we going to finish first? And if Daniel can't watch on this day,
are we going to, I'm like,
I think we should finish Truth Be Told
before we do Surge Party.
She's like, I don't know if I can wait that long.
And so after doing all the math,
we're like, okay, we'll go five, six, seven, seven,
and then we'll go eight, nine, 10, eight.
And so then once we,
so we'll do five, six, seven of Surge Party season three,
and then we'll do episode seven of Truth Be Told.
And then we'll do eight, nine, 10 of and then we'll do eight nine ten of surge party and do episode eight of truth be told are you following
me neither you need an engineering degree to sort of like from one from the tv like from the living
room elizabeth and i are like manic like we're like okay and we're gonna do this and like at
first i'm like we're gonna do seven eight she goes no we're gonna do this i'm like oh that's really good that's really good
write that down like fully earnest and we just hear daniel laughing from the other he's like
what the fuck are you doing it is midnight go to bed i think you can at least have the pride that it's not any more confusing or illogical than buying nba moments yeah yeah
prioritizing our television schedule is yeah so that's what's been shaking me is how committed
we are to the science behind our viewing experience that's the point of quarantine
that we're at though you know like Of course that's what you're doing
Exactly
What else are we doing?
Jeffrey?
Gilmore Girls
I've just been watching Gilmore Girls
I'm not going to elaborate on it
It's great comfort television
It's a hug
It's AVVSMR
Sorry AVASMR
How do you spell ASMR? ASMR AR It's visual. It's A-V-V-S-M-R. Sorry, A-V-A-S-M-R.
How do you spell A-S-M-R?
A-R... Nine.
Nine.
A-R-9-9.
What's the number for 911?
Billy, Adam, anything to plug?
Projects they have together,
projects you're working on separately,
anything you want to point to people too,
the floor is yours, go.
No Joke Podcast, baby, every Friday.
Baby. Baby. New episodes at no joke pod on twitter no joke pod at gmail.com check us out on the head gum podcast network
new episodes every friday my man did all the heavy lifting i'm just here to say
what else no joke podcast he's right that's all beginning endner end there. Yeah. Awesome. Hell yeah. Riley. Thank you guys so much for coming on.
This was so much fun.
Oh, oh, who?
What?
You're talking to me?
At Riley Cutler?
Into the Mist is still running.
And for those of you who don't know,
it is an online, immersive, interactive,
virtual experience show set in the 20s.
I went last Friday.
It was awesome. Nice. You went last Friday. It was awesome.
And a lot of
review of you listeners, y'all showed up
and it was so much fun to see you guys there.
The link to tickets is in my bio
on Instagram and you can find tickets at
intothemist.net
and intothemist.net backslash tickets
if you really want to get right on there.
Or you could just press tickets on the main page.
If you love typing.
If you love typing, you right on there, uh, or you could just press tickets on the main page. If you love typing,
you can backslash tickets.
I just want to give a quick plug to typing.
Yes.
Yeah, absolutely.
Just for a great way to communicate.
It is digitally.
Yeah,
exactly.
Yeah.
Cool.
That's so brave.
Yeah.
No,
I am.
Jeff,
anything to plug?
Uh,
none,
nothing.
Billy,
Adam,
thank you so much for fucking coming on here.
Thank you guys.
So most times I probably said the F curse on a podcast
in my entire life in that third and first scene.
So thank you for that.
And I'm gonna only bleep when you say it.
And then everybody else.
It felt great.
It was genuinely cathartic.
Yeah.
You can find Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James
and on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee.
And you can find our show at Review Review on Instagram at Review James and on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee and you can find our show at Review Review
on Instagram at Review Review Show on Twitter
and you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley
on Twitter at Riley
Coyote and Billy and Adam
do you guys want to do each other's socials? You can find Adam
at Wild Thing LA
Wild Thing capital LA
on both Twitter and
Instagram. Wild Thing LA
and you can find Billy at I Say Fuck on both Twitter and Instagram. Wild thing LA.
And you can find Billy at
isayfuckalot
at gmail.com.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can just shoot him
an email over there.
Shoot me that.
Billy,
you're at
Billy Scafuri
on all platforms.
And you're Adam Lustick
on all freaking platforms,
my man.
Thank you so much
for having us.
This was a real blast.
Thank you for coming on.
This was so much fun.
Yeah,
we'll have you guys
back on in person.
Hopefully.
Yeah.
Can't wait for that.
In the new HeadGum studio.
2025, baby.
Can't wait.
Let's thank some VI podcasts, Riley.
Big thank you to Aaron Carrico.
Adam Shea.
Agent Michael Skarn.
Acousia Sarfo.
Alex Witt.
Alton Burkholder.
Alvar Wallstrom Lindell.
Anthony Amadeo.
Bagadoo.
Bob Buell.
Brad Hild. Brendan Netz. Bob Buell.
Brendan Metz.
Cameron Bradley.
Christian Basketball.
Connor Finnegan.
Daniel Bonney.
Eric Crust.
Garrett Glasberg. Hot Dog.
Isaac Fletcher. Jake Knight. Fancy Octopus Garrett Glasberg Hallie Hot Dog Holly
Isaac Fletcher
Jake the Snake Radiff
Jake Knight
Jake Ullman
Jamie Poncia
Jared
Jason Araya
Jesse Tipton
Jonah Sanchez
Jub FPV
Caleb Luster
Katie Ross
Kevin Sunt
Kerwin
Kobe Holus
Lauren Malang
Malik
Mark Priest
Matt Box
Matthew Lizama
Michael Ebach
Michael Rowland
Nate Porteus
Nikolaj Biergaard
Nolan Murphy
Phoenix McBurnin
P
Sabrina
Sam Adams
Sam Armstrong
Sarah Kildiff
Space Ant
Spencer Stefan Steve Faraway Sugar and Falls Sam Adams Sam Armstrong Sarah Kildiff Space Ant Spencer
Stefan
Steve Faraway
Sugar And Falls
That's Austin Dude
TR aka Ghoulia Blee Dyfus
Theodore Giesen
Will Phillips
Xander Madsen
Yarrow Bouchard
Thank you guys all for supporting us at the highest tier.
Thank you guys so much.
Sweatshirts. They've been ordered. Hey, if you can believe it. If you can believe it tier. Thank you guys so much. Sweatshirts. They've been ordered.
Hey, if you can believe it.
We appreciate you all so much.
Absolutely. Those will all be going out to you guys very
soon. And if you also would
like access to bonus content, comedy
sketches, live streams, Zoom parties,
etc., etc., you can subscribe
at patreon.com forward slash Riley
and Jeff. You heard the man.
Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode of Review Review.
We'll catch you guys again next week.
Have a great year.
What's up?
I'll be right there.
Chee!
That was a Hiddem Original.