Review Revue - Olive Garden

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Alf and Reilly are back and they brought mimosas. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self. >>>>><<<<< Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Just a perfect show

Alf and Riley on the mic No more Jeffrey And Kool ankles goes like he's gone home just a perfect show I download it to my phone and then later

listen at work and I laugh oh it's such a perfect show now that Jeffrey is gone oh

such a perfect show you just keep me listening you just keep me listening just a perfect show woof I don't mean it woof like bad I mean woof like ooh that was like Just a perfect show Woof

I don't mean it woof like bad I mean woof like Ooh that was like intense Lou Reed but with twice the charisma That's what I have to say And so that's exactly right So that theme song was from Tyler Tyler said he goes

The last theme song I sent in Led to such comments as He should never sing And it's like Lou Reed without the charisma from a certain guest. I also caught flack for it being four minutes long. Taking all this into consideration, here's a parody of Perfect Day, a four-minute

long Lou Reed song made into Perfect Show. Tyler, that was, and it was a perfect song. It was a Perfect Day parody, Perfect Show, and it ultimately was a perfect song. Um, and perfect day parody. Perfect show. And it ultimately was a perfect song. And I think the sentiment we can all agree with. Is that it's a perfect show?

Yes. Are you being mean? And that's stuff about Jeff, I guess I was really talking about. Got it. That's what I was thinking. Riley. Alf. Riley.

Here's a question for you. Alfrey Lee. Yeah. Have you done the funky Gibbon recently? Kylie, here's a question for you. Alfreely. Yeah. Have you done the funky gibbon recently? I have not done the funky gibbon, but I feel like you can show me how. Yeah. So you're going to want to reach one hand up to the jungle and then one hand down to below your knees. And then you're going to do the funky gibbon.

And so if I know most of you are familiar with the funky gibbon, but for those weird two or three listeners who are like, what the hell is the funky gibbons and so if i know most of you are familiar with the funky gibbon but for those weird two or three listeners who are like what the hell's the funky gibbon um if you or a loved one was out in the discotheque in anywhere in the uk between the years of 1960 and 1972 you will probably be familiar with the Funky Gibbon. And the Funky Gibbon, no, it had to be later than that. I think it was like 75. That makes sense. Alf and I bonded over the fact that our parents know, and also Alfred and I know, the Funky Gibbon,

which is a dance from kind of the British equivalent of the W wiggles but for adults like very much not aimed at children like it was just a normal band uh they're called the goodies if you want to look up the funky gibbon um that's kind of what's been on our minds today so as we're like what's new what's new it's like well the funky gibbon is new the funky gibbon is new the funky gibbon is old the funky gibbon is ever present the funky gibbon is everything the backing i mean it's like on like yeah the backing there yeah yeah yeah does it sound like maybe just like the casio keyboard funk preset maybe yes but does it and is it a preset for a reason because it slaps then yes um so that's what's new with us my computer oh my computer was absolutely trying to kill me is that why we were pushed to record by an hour in four distinct 15 minute increments yep yep yep

okay and did you fix it so i yes i did what was the issue knock on wood i guess i have to ask what was the issue i honestly don't know it rebooted and then it was like this doesn't matter no one gives a shit about what computer tech issues were no one does

interesting no one does I guess I'm a fucking nobody then it was on safe boot mode so I had to turn that off how the fuck did you do that I don't know how I even

turned that on it doesn't matter Alf what's new with your little ass um well we can all agree that my My ass is nothing but little Um

Not much is new I'm pretty fucking like tired I guess today Which is gonna make for a great improv comedy You're taking the longest sip I've ever seen somebody's take I was like four sips I love that your shirt just says bye It says hi.

You fucking illiterate. I couldn't see the bottom of the A. I love that your shirt just says bye. I thought it just said. Homophobic. Here's things that I know about Riley. No, I'm not. Homophobic.

Illiterate. I'm literally not. I'm literally not. Wait, guys. No, I'm literally not homophobic. I'm literally not homophobic. Alf, what's new with you? You just asked me that, and I said I'm tired.

I know, and you didn't answer. That's what's new. I guess it's not new. There was a flash flood warning this morning, and I went and got groceries anyway. Now that's interesting. And my car has a hole in the roof, and it's not one of those intentional holes in the roof. I was going to say, it's called a sunroof, my darling. It leaks water every time it rains.

And so I had a... Even when it's not raining, which is strange, it just kind of has a leak. There's a perpetual ooze. Yeah. But I had a kind of slippery... It's like Eeyore. Speaking of Eeyore, how's Red the dog? I haven't asked.

He's a good baby. Is he feeling better? He's a good hairy baby. I know he was feeling sick earlier yeah he was having a little health moment but he's all back to his bowl-y self um and he's my perfect little man oh that's good that's good and rebound COVID I guess you didn't get that no I didn't get rebound COVID thank god thank heavens for small mercies and uh and how was your week what's new with you?

What's new with me? I picked up a little mini whiteboard from Target today, which I'm very excited about because it's really helpful. Because you're trying to teach Red the Dog to speak human. I'm trying to teach Red the Dog how to read. Teach Dog to speak human. I got to see my sister. I went up to Santa Barbara with her, which was very nice. And what else?

Oh, saw Theater Camp, which was very fun. I haven't seen it yet. Is it good? It's a good time. I mean, it's very much for the theater kids of the theater kids by the theater kids. Hello. Oh, hello. But I feel like ultimately we're not actually here to talk about Theater Camp.

No? Oh, shit. Somebody needs to find some new reviews. Why do you hate me? Why do you hate me? No, I'm just remembering when we did Medieval Times and you brought reviews from Renaissance. Come on. That's the same shit.

We all fucking know it. We're here to talk about something that I guess in a way it's like when you go to theater camp, you make a family. It's like you have a family when you're a theater kid. And you know where else you have a family? Home. Olive Garden. Because when you're there, you're a family. Because when you're there, you're actually theater kid and you know where else you have a family home olive garden oh because when you're there you're family when you're there you're actually family when you're there you

actually have biological family members and siblings and a new mama and papa um this yes we have uh we're doing olive garden today and so this topic we we put out our little little feelers on instagram and uh this topic was suggested by bell thompson on instagram so thank you bell um riley outstretched her little tentacles and grasped this suggestion um you're gonna ask me about my experience talk to me talk to me and you know what i'm gonna say i fucking love this stuff okay i like olive garden a lot okay unlimited get ready for this soup on it speak on unlimited get ready for this salad salad get ready for this breadsticks breadsticks the way Olive Garden is words that come to mind are carnal cozy urges carnal primal root chakra but no I genuinely the way I feel about Olive Garden is the same way that I feel about many things Dunkin Donuts chief among is, is Dunkin' Donuts good coffee?

I, yeah. No. No. Is Olive Garden good Italian food? No. No. But is it great fucking Olive Garden? You bet your ass it's great Olive Garden.

And you bet your ass Dunkin' Donuts is great Dunkin' Donuts. And I won't be explaining myself further on that wait really quick tangent have you heard about the ice spice pumpkin munchkin ice whatever the fuck it's called yeah I'm familiar it has like four or five munchkin donuts blended there's no coffee

it's coffee syrup milk munchkins and caramel yeah I sounds like some shit I'd like um you see it's not that different than like Chicago in the building munchkins and caramel. Yeah, sounds like some shit I'd like. You see, it's not that different than like Chicago in the building than like a Portillo's cake shake. You know what I mean?

I think the idea of blending cake into, because that's what it is, right? We can all agree. It's not coffee at that point. It's so far removed from coffee. Well, no, there's quite literally no coffee. It's coffee syrup. There's no coffee. I i love that that's awesome um i might get one it sounds foul why do you think that sounds foul i guess not foul it's just oh we're getting off topic it just it sounds i i listen i love a sweet

treat but that it just it's that seems too overwhelming for me. But I could, I, listen, I could house, like, a bunch of munchkins. But it's, like, blended munchkins. What about a milkshake? Could you drink it, would you drink a milkshake? I would drink a milkshake. Yes, I would, Sam, I am. Okay, okay.

But. Counselor? Would I. Your honor. In a box with a fox? But there's something about, like, wet, crushed up munchkin drink. No, you're wrong for that because here's here's the best part of dessert okay nice piece of cake chocolate cake scoop of vanilla ice cream when the

vanilla ice cream soaks into the chocolate cake when professor r orders a vanilla ice cream chocolate cake, it's fucking delicious. Okay? Sweet, sweet cold milk and warm ooey gooey delicious cake. Alf, I'm not disagreeing with you, but I'm saying- But that is what the ice spice blended frap is. Olive Garden. I've never been. Oh, I've been to all of the gardens.

I've never been to Olive Garden. You're missing been. Oh, I've been to all of the gardens. I've never been to Olive Garden. You're missing out. We should go sometime. We should go get a $6 bottle of Moscato. And by we, you mean I. Yeah, right. And you'll watch me. I'll watch you house a $6 bottle of Moscato.

I think because I was more like growing up like a cheesecake factory. Right, right, right. Got it. I think because I was more like growing up like a Cheesecake Factory girl. Right, right, right. I was BJ's Brewery girly. Not that they're comparable to Olive Garden. But Cheesecake Factory I think is probably. But Cheesecake Factory. Because Olive Garden is a tier above Applebee's, Chili's. Yeah, because I'm not thinking about those.

It is in the same echelon as Red Lobster Cheesecake Factory. It's like that. It's that upper tier of chain of chain restaurants. And I love it. And I love Olive Garden. And I would go right now. I would be very interested in going to an Olive Garden. If I had a friend...

When we go to New York, let's go to Olive Garden. If I had a friend... If I had a single friend who pulled up outside my house right now and was like, get in, we're going to Olive Garden, Marty. You know, I would go. Should we set

an intention? No. Yes. Wait. Oh, God. Okay, the intention is avoidance. The intention is... I guess the intention for this episode... I'm feeling very speedy today. Okay, that's great. I feel sluggish. I'm feeling like...

I just downed a cold brew and... Oh, did you? I'm ready to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I downed a cold brew sort of'm ready to I downed a cold brew around the time we were supposed to record interesting so I guess I'm feeling the intention for this episode what are some buzzwords

buzzy bumbling oh this is going to be your most bumbling episode yet. And that's a fact. That's fucking saying something. That's fucking saying something. If you listen to the European hostels episode.

I have a really quick tangent. Just buzz. I don't know why bumbling makes me think of. You guys scoot ahead if you don't want to hear this. No, don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

I just have to get your reaction to this. I was watching TV the other night and an ad for sharman came on i hate those little fuckers and i will never get over the fact that we are all so fine was just like it was the ad of like the papa bear in the bathroom being like uh-oh i ran out of toilet paper and all the rest of his family's outside being like hurry up dad and he's like oh i'm trying and the mom is like he's like it's too thin i can't get it all and the mom's like here use this like extra strong charmin and he's like oh thanks and then he comes out and he's like all clean and he like shows that he like wiggles his ass in front of them well because the thing one of the sharmans

big fucking like advertising selling points is like you won't be left with little tiny bits of toilet paper on your ass and so the number of commercials for shaman that are like the mama bear being like come let me see your ass let me see if you've got any shit on your ass still. No shit on daddy's ass. No shit on baby's ass either. But who's going to check mommy's ass for shit? It's like they are the most kind of like comfortable with each other family. And like if you were over the shit.

The fact that the dad comes out of the bathroom and all the kids are like, please can we use the bathroom? And he's like, anyone want to look and check daddy's ass it's like you're it's so when you're like in middle school and you go over to your friend's house you know what I mean for dinner and you first start to realize like oh other families can be different than mine and it's like yeah yeah yeah yeah and um uh dad if you want to lead us in prayer and say grace, and then afterwards, Alfred, if you wouldn't mind checking Riley's ass for shit. It's so, and it's just so funny,

because it's like, I don't know why the arbitrary bear is, but it's like, because we could not fathom the thought of like a human family in those ads. Right, the initial pitch at the advertising agency was like, okay guys, so this is Dan he's the dad um and he's got shit all over his ass and his little kid Chuck hates it uh he hates that there's shit on his ass but mommy's gotta have a watchful eye mommy's gotta check anyway so that made me think of bumbling uh bumbling and I heard bumbling. Thank you, bumbling. That's my monologist.

And bumbling. Bumbling. Do you want to start us off or should I pop a bear? I think you should, mama bear. That's horrible. I hate it. You did it. You did it. You did it.

Here we go. One time, no thought. He did it. This is... He did it this is he did it um this is for beep beep boo oh this is for beep beep boo i love that place shut up uh uh this is for olive garden in century city i think no uh midwilshire wait los angeles It just says Los Angeles. It was unclear. Okay. What a journey. This is three stars from Nicky L.

Nicky. Nicky. Nicky. Any day now. Any day now. Nicky Lauda. He's a Formula One driver. Okay.

Nicky Lauda? I think so. Yeah. Nicky La nikki lauda three stars right you hated it you ate me no it's fine no it's fine three stars nikki lauda it's olive garden so don't expect super authentic italian food i hesitated on writing this because i can't for the life of me remember the server's name. Our initial server was fantastic. Very attentive, funny, just a people person. The second one looked like she wanted to put a cigarette out on my kid's forehead. It's all you can eat and my kid wanted more soup. He's not a baby. He's nine and he ordered a full meal off the regular menu, including a soup. It took forever to get to the table and forget asking for another drink. I did work in food service while in college.

I'm a bit biased to servers. But there is no way to disguise bad service or attitude. I did leave a 25% tip. It's not everyone else's fault she sucked. I mean, I just love that was putting Nikki off from writing it. I just I couldn't God for the life of me. Remember that server's name. It's been it's been escaping me for years.

It's like, honey, you've been up. You've been up all night. Come to bed. What are you still thinking about? No, I'm sorry. It's cut my eyes just like bloodshot from staring at the computer the cursor just blinking what was their name you go to bed honey i don't want to keep you up i can move to the to the living room uh no no it's not about god damn it sweetie family meeting i didn't

mean to raise family meeting no no no no i didn't mean to raise that. Family meeting. No, no, no, no. No. I didn't want to start a family meeting. Family meeting. Now? Yes. It's two in the morning. I'm going to go wake the kids up.

They do not need to be a part of this. You don't think so? Because your behavior is impacting them just as much as it's impacting me. I've tried to have it not be the case, but it's... What is going on with you, Gregory? Martha, I... Fine, family meeting. Let's do the family meeting. Okay. If you want to involve the kids, we can involve the kids.

Okay. Here we go. Tabitha? You're gonna wake them up, though. Tabitha? Yeah? Morning. It's morning. Come on, we're having a family... It's too dark outside. I know, it's winter.

We're gonna have a family meeting at 2am, okay. Is every... Is Grandma dead? Yeah, Grandma's still dead, sweetie. Didn't come back to life. Oh, poor thing. Okay, I just wanted to double check. Doesn't understand death.

I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry, Tabitha. Wait, where's your brother? Oh, um... He's still in bed. Martha, can you please go get him? Yeah, I'll go get him. I said I would go get him. You just... hang tight. Grrrree- Dad, are we all gonna be okay?

Y-yes. I think so. Lot of confidence. Mikey? Mikey? Mikey Mikey yeah yeah family it lost no family meeting all right fine

your sister's out here is grandma dead yes grandma is still dead okay just checking she can't she can't hurt any of us anymore she is still dead okay

thank you all for coming to the meeting Tabitha, Mikey, Martha I wish I could say that I was happy to see you all I wish it was under better circumstances. You're not happy to see your wife and children? I am, just not under these circumstances, because I don't want to drag you guys into

the, Dad, what's going on? Spit it out, Gregory. What the heck is going on? Sorry, kids. I swear. I fear my mind may be going. What? It's back.

Dad, what? I didn't want to frighten anyone. But the old man's mind is starting to wander. And it's making me wonder, am I fit to be the patriarch of this family anymore? Of course you're fit to be the patriarch. Yeah, Dad, you're our dad. I know I'm your dad, but am I your father? Of course you're fit to be the patriarch. Yeah, you're our dad. I know I'm your dad, but am I your father? Of course.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, what? What a weird thing to say. Gregory. Kids, go back to bed. No, they should listen to this. You wanted to call them for the family meeting. I know, but I didn't realize it was going to be this kind of family meeting, Gregory.

Remember when we went to Olive Garden six months ago for Mikey's birthday? Yes. Yeah, I guess. And the server looked like she wanted to put a cigarette out on his face. That's the kind of look she had on. I mean, she seemed tired.

What? She seemed tired, I think. No, I mean, she looked like she wanted to take a lit cigarette. I really don't. And press it into Mikey's cheek. Oh, so graphic, Gregory. I mean, yeah. Well, that's what she wanted to do. Maybe, okay.

And I'll go with you on that walk, but what's the point? And so I wanted to write a review. I wanted to write a review about how I didn't like that treatment to my family. And God, sorry. It's just embarrassing as the leader of the family, as the head of the family, as the lead decision maker. I can't for the life of me remember her name. And now more time has gone by than I would like. And I haven't written the review.

So what do I have to show for it? We were disrespected in that Italian restaurant. And what, I'm gonna just take it? I'm gonna just lay down and take it? And not even tell them what I think? What kind of man am I if I can't even protect my own family? Kids, I mean it this time.

Go back to bed. Your father and I need to have a talk. Gladly. Are we- are you guys getting a divorce? No. No, honey, but I might ask your mother to do me the mercy of leaving me. We're going to- we're going to bed. Come on, let's go to bed. They leave. Get a fucking hold of yourself. You're Gregory. What are you talking about? You're my big Greg. Okay?

Well, I don't feel very big now. I feel like a small Greggy. For 15 years, this family was terrorized by my mother. Those kids... She's still dead? Yes. She's dead because you killed her. Because you saved this family

from that menace. Okay? Well, it's the least I could do. I'm the protector of the clan. clan no there were three gregories before you and none of them had the courage to do what you did to kill her and save this family my father didn't have my father didn't give me the middle name lionheart for nothing that's true he gave it to you because you're strong and you're brave and know- Even as a baby

I was really strong. I'm sure that's true. Your memory might be going. That happens to the best of us as we get older. But in its place, there's wisdom and courage and knowing

the difference between right and wrong and knowing when the best thing to do is let it go. I can't let this go. That server. We were embarrassed back there. I mean, that kind of treatment, the fact that I couldn't protect. I mean, sure. When I made the decision to kill your mother, I knew it was the honorable thing to do. I knew that if I didn't kill your mother, where would we be? We might all be dead. Maybe not physically, but spiritually, psychologically.

Gregory. We would all be tortured. Take the might out of that sentence. We would be dead. We would be dead. We would be dead. We would be dead. We would be dead. We would be dead. We would be dead. We would be dead. But now I feel like our spirits are dead.

My spirits are dead. Because I'm just going to let that piece of something walk all over my family like that. Piece of what? Something. I don't know. I'm not going to say ass. You were going to say ass. No, it's not what I mean.

That's not what I want to say because that's not who I am. I'm Gregory Lionheart Wallace. That's not who I am. What I'm saying is I can't let it go because I have to write this review, but I can't write the review without a name. Okay. What am I going to say? Oh, some server. Like, what a putz am I going to look like?

Gregory, I'm going to give you a gift. Gregory, I'm going to give you a gift. Martha. I'm going to give you a gift tonight. A special. Oh. No, not like that. Unless. All right.

A special early. No, I'm not. No, I'm tired. A special early. Oh, sorry, me too. Yeah, right. It's 2 a.m. for fuck's sake. I'm not that tired.

Well, I'm that tired. Virile. Right. Okay. Virile, more like. Is it because I don'tam for fuck's sake. I'm not that tired. Well, I'm that tired. Virile. Right. Okay. Virile more like. Is it because I don't remember the name? No, it's not that. It's because you're being kind of ridiculous about everything. But I'm going to give you a different gift. A different

early birthday present. Alright. Other side. Yeah. Stephanie. What? Her name was Stephanie. yeah Stephanie what? her name was Stephanie the waitress at Olive Garden six months ago her name was Stephanie I recognized her

you've known her name this entire time? yeah she's Carol's kid you've seen i have been sleepless nights for months sitting on yelp you didn't think to say anything to me then you didn't you didn't ask gregory well i couldn't ask you i'm the man of the house. Get a hold of yourself. Would you have ever had the courage to slay my mother if I hadn't given it to you?

Of course, I'm Gregory Lionheart. I would have had the courage. The review, Gregory. Scrawl her name in ink, Stephanie. I love you so much. And in many ways, in the best of ways, you carry some of the traits of your mother with you. Her ferocity. Her way to induce a kind of panic, but in a good way.

And a way to inspire the best and the worst in all of us. And so I'll do it. For you, for the kids, but mostly for me. Good. Selfishness can be good go write that review open up the computer I turn on like

really powerful like Game of Thrones kind of music in the background two stars title not impressed stephanie on caps that's her name and embarrassing my family was her game it may be six months since the night of my son's ninth birthday his name name day. The day when he became a man. But it was the day that I became less of a man. Because Stephanie made it so. Olive Garden, we will not be returning to your breadsticks

and your soups and your salads. Because Stephanie spoiled the lot. And so you will not be seeing us again. And if you're wondering what she did, why don't you ask her? Why do you ask her and her venomous eyes and her mind? Because she wanted to burn my boy on his face. I could tell. And I am Gregory Lionheart Wallace. And if I do anything, it's going to be protecting my family. So Stephanie, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for showing me the kind of man I need to be. I killed my mother-in-law. Oh, well, um, wait.

Greg, sorry, Gregory. Yes. Take that part out. About confessing to the murder. Why? She needs to know what I can do. No, confessing to murder is a bad thing. I killed my mother-in-law. She was going like a banshee.

She rose from the ground and went to strike my wife and children and I slew her with a sword. This is all true. In her front yard. But you can't confess to it on Yelp. And I'll do the same to you, Stephanie.

Unless. Unless. You keep it together. Arrivederci. Send. Well done. I feel good. Go to bed.

Cock car outside. Oh, shit. Martha locks herself in the bathroom. Come, you spirits. The tend, un-mortal thoughts. Unsex me here. Insanity. Bumbling, certainly.

Bumbling? Certainly. Bumbling, certainly. Here's something i will say about that review there's a pet peeve of mine um as someone is it me yes as someone who was a server for a long time and who worked in food service and in many ways still does work in food service for a long time yeah when people couch their complaints about restaurants in well i used to be a server i used to work in food service and i wouldn't yeah it drives me up the fucking wall because i'm like if you remembered your time in food service you'd remember that you never know what's going on

behind the scenes okay yeah and that you can't get mad at your fucking waiter for having a little bit of a wants to burn a cigarette on your kid's face look on their face it's so specific it's so specific such an irritating person who does that yeah um would you like me to read a review for an olive garden or other such um i would like i think we should take a little break and then we'll come back and do that but before we go I would just like to say there's something about me that's very drawn to I don't know

I do so many characters that are just like really quote unquote traditional family value men and I think this is a great place for us to cut to a better help ad we'll be right back.

And we're back. And we are back. Could you read a review? Uh-huh. This is for an Olive Garden I have been to. Oh, T. One in Chicago, Illinois, down on Addison. And this is from Alicia B.

Alicia Bees. Alicia Bees. Bumbling Bees. Alicia writes... Three stars. Be warned. The digital pay machine on the table has games and it will cost you money to play. And the warning for that cost is not clear.

What a surprise on my bill. There really should be a consent to pay button before you play seems predatory to parents phone games require more approved purchase confirmation so i don't know if you've ever been to a place like this some of the olive gardens have like a touch screen tablet thing like on the table like built into the table that you can like order and pay from the tablet but you can also i've never seen that you can also do a little bit of like gambling on your phone like you can also do okay i mean ultimately that's what it is it's like gambling um and i guess like to get and i guess uh and i guess she didn't realize that that was what that

was um but it seems like pretty obvious and i'm pretty sure they do ask you to consent to pay i don't think they just you suddenly roll a dice and all of a sudden there's a 20 charge on your bill uh sorry for the wait uh mrs mrs smith you can come into the office now. You know, as your accountant, I have to say that it is, you know, I guess I would say happy to see you, but sometimes no news is good news for these kinds of meetings, so I appreciate you coming in today. Of course. Whatever it is, you tell me, all right? Well, yes, that's the point of the meeting. We're just going to kind of go over some big statements you are and you're okay great then um i'm just going to cut to the chase because you

did say you can handle it you are very much in the red you are in massive debt um and it happened over weirdly enough you were fine you were you were making good on your investments right um your savings were all looking great. Right. You have very normal spending tracking. And then in the span of, let me see, about four hours, everything down the drain. And so I'm not quite sure. Well, you'd think something like that.

Surely it's fraud. Yes, yes. well you'd think surely it's fraud yes yes but what I find is that normally in my work when something like that happens we get a call or an email from someone saying oh my credit card's been stolen or my account's been hacked I don't know whose charges so to make sure it's you didn't know

someone's obviously been spending all of my money and I was not made aware well I'm not made aware. Well, I'm making you aware now. Well, what do we do? How do we get it back? Well, what usually happens now is I'm going to go through

a list of charges and you're going to let me know if it seems familiar to you or not. Okay. And if it was something that was not a charge that you recount spending, then we can submit it

for a fraud charge. Alrighty. Okay, so April 3rd, around 10.52am. Oh, Frank, you're being ridiculous. I'm sorry? You couldn't possibly expect me to remember what I was doing on April 3rd. Well, this was only a week ago. Let me get out my pocket calendar.

Okay, April 3rd, I see a charge for a latte, a small latte. Yes, I went to the Dutch room with Mallory. Wonderful. Okay, so that's accounted for. Just making sure you do count all these charges on the day. What, you're telling me I'm going bankrupt over a latte? I know these liberal cities are getting out of hand,

but this seems ridiculous. No, and then we have, oh, a little lunch from Sweetgreen. Right. You got a little salad. And then here's where it gets a little dicey. You managed to lose $275,000. Oh. In one... It's looking like over the span of 60 charges, but that was at an Olive

Garden? Well, that doesn't sound right. So you weren't at an Olive Garden on April 3rd? Well, let me consult my pocket calendar. Yes, I mean, I... Yes, I suppose I was. Yes, I had... Mallory and I went for dinner before we saw Oppenheimer, an early critics screening.

I'm obviously. Oh, are you a film critic? Well, no, but Mallory is. She had a plus one. She writes for the LA Times. Oh, very fancy. That doesn't change the fact that you are 275 000 in the hole right i don't understand i mean mallory had a mai tai or three but i mean i didn't i don't

certainly don't i certainly don't think that even in even in liberal cities being what they are i don't think we don't have to keep talking about liberal cities. I don't think politics has anything to do with charges on Olive Garden. Clearly the liberals, you know. I feel like actually Olive Garden, I feel like the prices are pretty much the same anywhere you go. Well, then how in the births bees did I possibly spend 200? Well, because it's not on food. Well, that's what I'm saying. The Mai Tais.

I mean, we maybe had a dozen drinks spread across six hours. I mean, I don't understand how it possibly got that high, Frank. Cut to the Olive Garden that night. Mallory. Mallory. Mallory, you. Oh, my dear Lillian. I can't wait to see the bomb film.

No, Mallory. Mallory. Mallory, Mallory. You are my best friend. Oh, Lillian, you are my dearest to my heart and the world. I love you more than anything. Why did we fall out for all those years? Why did you not speak to me for 15 years? Those were the longest 15 years of my life, Mallory. Why did I not speak to you, Lily, and you don't remember what happened? No, no. All I

remember is one day I saw you at the formal, and then the next day, it was the last I heard from you. Where'd you go, Mallory? Where did you go? And how quickly we... You know, the formal... It's amazing how that was only 15 years ago. My, how we've aged. Well, well, well, well. Youth is wasted on the young. I always have said that. Well, what happened was I saw you dancing

with my beau, and I thought, well, that's not part of the girl code, and so I thought, I'm gonna cut her out, and I'm gonna wait for her to apologize. That's what I thought. That's what I had a right mind to do that. Oh, but you remember Bo? Bo, my Bo.

Yeah, of course I will. I thought I was going to marry him, for God's sake. Mallory, you're being preposterous. How so? Bo was a homosexual. You think I didn't know that? Oh, Bo was... Oh, Lillian, of course I knew he was a homosexual. We were going to have a very...

Bo was as gay as the May Day Parade, my darling dear. We were going to have a very amicable marriage. He was my best friend. And sure, we would never make love, but we'd make each other very happy. Then why on earth was me dancing with him such a slight if you

were going to be married? Because you knew. You knew what my plan was. And you knew how I felt. But I had a beard of my own, darling. What use did I need for yours? I had Michael. Why did I? What would I need to poach your beard for?

Michael's a homosexual. Oh, but of course. I mean, look at him. Look at him. Broadway composer. Come on. That's not inherent. That's, but of course. I mean, look at him. Look at him. Broadway composer. Come on. That's not inherent. That's not indicative of anything.

That's very reductive. No, I think we can all agree. Think of Lin-Manuel Miranda. Homosexual. I don't believe that that man is homosexual. Yes, of course. Of course. Yes. Anyway, Mallory.

Mallory. Mallory. Mallory. Mallory. Trust me. The point is... We have to... I had a feeling the other day that, you know, my God, I don't know how many years we have left on this earth, and I don't want to, you know, kick the bucket holding any grudges.

And so that's why I thought, I'm going to see Oppenheimer. Yes. You know who else would love a bomb movie? A bombshell. And I thought, I must call up Lillian. I must see how she has aged. And my god, you look the same. Have you ever been with a woman, Mallory?

What do you mean? I have. It was during the war. You know, I was on tour, entertaining the troops. And, you know, it was a different time. You know, it was a different time. You know, the threat of annihilation. We all thought it was coming to a close.

You know, it was curtains for us. And so I decided I'd experiment. And I didn't, you know, Mallory, I did not dislike it. That's interesting. I guess I never thought to do that. Can I admit something to you, Lillian? After all these, two more Mai Tais, please. I never thought to. Can. Can I admit something to you, Lillian, after all these... Two more Mai Tais, please. Never thought to...

Can I... Mallory, Mallory... Waiter, waiter, waiter, waiter. Three more Mallories for the Mai Tai. I've never told anyone this before. Yes. Of course, you're my... You're my closest ally.

I've never been with anybody before. No, I'm not. Now you're having me on. I, sir, I'm not pulling on anything. You're pulling on my leg. I'm not twisting an arm, putting a leg, having you on. I'm not, I'm not, none of the sort. You're jerking me off, Mallory.

Well, Mallory, sorry, Lillian, that's the point. I've never done such a thing. I've never. Oh, my, Mallory. Gosh, I've never been kissed. This is the queerest thing I ever heard. You're, you're, you such a thing. I've never... Oh, my, Mallory, this is the queerest thing I ever heard. You're a beauty. I mean, you're one of the greats. I mean, when we were young and we were on the scene at the debutante,

I mean, there were few prizes as coveted as that of sweet Mallory's... Well, I do thank you for that, and that's... I guess that's why I invited you tonight, because... I don't understand. I've been invited by... You know, I may be a critic for the LA Times, but there's another hidden other reason why I've been invited to the secret premiere. Who has invited us? Who are we? There is a man.

Oh, not a man. Who wants to bed me. What? After the film. Oh, how preposterous. The film is a little bit of a foreplay. That's a scandal, Mallory. Now I've heard everything. Who is he? I seemingly

have to know. He's a man by the name of Christopher Nolan. Oh, my goodness. From the Dark Knight film. From the Dark Knight film. I liked that one. And from, in fact, Oppenheimer. I liked that one. Well, I like him. I like his tight little ass. And I, oh, God, I've never, fact, Oppenheimer. I liked that one. Well, I like him.

I like his tight little ass. And I... Oh, God, I've never... Oh, it must be the Mai Tai's talking. I've never said such a thing. Waiter, waiter. Four more for the four-four. Thank you very dearly. Three more for the he-he.

Mallory, Mallory, Mallory, look at me and listen to me. I hope that you have a splendid time with Mr. Noglin this evening, and I hope that you are brought to sexual ecstasy, but... Oh, shush, shush! But no, this is important, Mallory.

Oh, Mallory, when you were women of a certain age, you learned to let go of such formalities, but Mallory, this is very, very important. If you are ever looking for a third,

you let a girl know. Cheers to that. Now let's... Let's do a bit of gambling on these iPads. Let's do a bit of light gambling on these iPads. Light, just light. Cut back. So it was actually the drinks. You were kind of at a happy hour special oh franklin may i call you franklin

i would rather imagine imagine imagine imagine imagine imagine imagine you're an olive garden okay between you and the person on the other side of the table there is 15 years of the tightest most potent sexual tension you've ever experienced i don't need to know about this i just need to know how you plan to field day address every word it was a tennis i cannot stress enough how dire this situation is for you. You have no source of income. What about the money from the pictures? You have no way of making money.

The money from the pictures... Mrs. Smith, the money from the pictures is all gone. But Michael wrote all those musicals. What about Michael's money? What about Michael's money? I swore I'd never touch it. But I think I have to now. You touched everything. What? Michael's money? I swore I'd never touch it, but I think I have to now. You touched everything. What? You have touched everything

you had. Oh, no. And you haven't addressed any kind of plan. All you've said is that you're... I mean, did your friend even sleep with Christopher Nolan? I don't think that's true. That can't possibly be true. I don't kiss and tell, but Mallory does. And so, yes, I can confirm she bedded the boy.

Christopher Nolan is famously a wife guy, I think. Well, yes, and he's a mistress man now. Oh, Franklin, what are we going to do about this? I'm dropping you as a client. You and I aren't quite the pickle. Nope. I don't think that I can work with you. I'll write a book. I'll spill it all.

I'll tell every dirty, sordid secret I've got. And howdy boy do I got them. And you think that'll sell? Oh, Frank, let's play a little game. You name a celebrity. Frank Sinatra. Gay. Secretly gay.

Okay, so your secrets are just... I've seen it. No, keep playing. Give me another. Give me another. Elizabeth Taylor. Gay. Okay, so your secrets are just... I've seen it. No, keep playing. Give me another. Give me another. Elizabeth Taylor. Gay. Gay as ever. Miles Davis. Straight, believe it or not. Cut to your auto book tour.

You made all your money back and then some? Oh, it feels good to be rich again. Hello. Who may I sign this book for? Waiter, bring another Mai Tai for the signing. Who could I sign a book for? It's been a long 15 more years, Lillian.

You really don't remember this face? Oh, my. Mallory, listen. You fell into the glitz and glam of the literary community, and you thought, oh, as soon as I leave one beautiful night with my friend and Christopher Nolan, then that's it for me. That's curtains for me.

You left me. You left me. You left me in the lurch, Mallory. What was I to do? You ran off with your new beau, Mr. Nolan. You were parading all around the islands of Greece and what was I to do, left here all alone back in Los Angeles, other than write a book?

Well, you have Michael. Michael? Michael's been dead, didn't you hear? No, I didn't hear. God, Lillian, I'm so sorry. Yes. You see, things... things haven't been quite as glitzy and glamorous as they might appear on the outside.

Things have been rather dire in actuality. Things have taken a turn. Yes, I have all this money and these adoring fans who are listening to me tell my stories about the time I had a foursome with the Rat Pack, but... You see, it's a little lonely at night without those long late-night phone calls with Mallory. No, I won't be pulled into this again. Mallory, Mallory, listen. We've not got that much time left.

You can hear it in my voice. Things are slipping away from me. Words, phrases. No, it's just the Mai Tais talking. No, no, Mallory, Words. It's just the Mai Tais talking. No, Mallory, I would that it were the Mai Tais. I think it is that ever-present, that final Mai Tai of death, and I think...

Not the final Mai Tai. Stop it. I won't hear any of this. Mallory, Mallory, listen. Mallory, listen. Listen to me. When I sit alone at night and I look around my drawing room and all the autographs and famous friends are upon the wall, I look around and I think to myself, Lillian, you old fool.

Is this really all there is? Please, Mallory, be with me. For these final years, just be with me. Waiter, to my times, please. Marvelous.

Do you have time for one more? Yeah, I guess I could do another review. That was so intimate. That one was erotic. That one was deeply erotic. And so if anyone is like, whoa, that was intense. Like that was just, it was just, it was bumbling though. But it was, you can't deny it was bumbling.

You can say anything you like about that scene. Yeah. So long as you don't say that it wasn't bumbling. Let's end it with a review. I have one. Let's end it. I have a review from the Olive Garden in Indianapolis. Indiana.

This is from Gary S. Gary Sinise. Gary Sinise. I thought you were going to say Gary Sinise. Gary Sinise. I thought you were going to say Gary Sindiana. Gary Sinise. Five stars. Five stars from Gary Sinise from Olive Garden, Indianapolis, Indiana.

Believe me, it's a little difficult to review a restaurant such as Olive Garden because most of us know the menu, whether you love it or hate it. However, I'm giving five stars as the employees were wonderful. As I entered, I was greeted immediately by Jennifer and Anna, who were at the main entrance. They told me I had a 10-minute wait for my table, and shortly after that, I was called on and showed to my table. I say, well done, ladies. Next, my waitress approached me and introduced herself. Tyler was very knowledgeable of the menu and a smile from

ear to ear. My food arrived very quickly and Tyler was quick to check on the food to see if I was satisfied. I was. Bravo, Tyler. I briefly got the attention of the manager, Cassie, and told her how I felt. Cassie told me how proud she is of her staff. Cassie obviously is doing a great job as her staff is splendid. Reviews like that make me sad sometimes because I realize I've never enjoyed myself that much anywhere. I have never had that good of a time truly anywhere there's something about the well done ladies bravo Tyler it's like

there's part of it that feels like I don't know I guess this is how you want to feel it's like that experience was bespoke to me and like they all were playing their parts perfectly bravo Tyler I mean Olive Garden when you're there you're family And like they all were playing their parts perfectly. Bravo, Tyler. I mean, Olive Garden, when you're there, you're family.

And so you call all the staff by their first names. You look them dead in the eye. Walking up to the front does Olive Garden. I'm here. Welcome to desk Olive Garden I'm here Welcome to Olive Garden, I'm Stacy How can I help you? Sissy Stacy, I'm back No, it's just me today, Sissy

I missed you so much Oh my gosh It is good to see you And it's just gonna be you today It's just gonna be little old Annie. And is bar seating okay for you, Annie, or would you like a table? Well, I mean, who knows

me better than my sister? What do you think I want? Um, um, yeah, I mean, the bar is probably more, I think probably bar seating. You know I love a little swivel chair. That's some sister intuition right there.

God, I missed you so much, Cassie. Yes, it's really good to see you again. You can go over. Oh my God. You are just like such, the big sister energy is amazing. You know exactly what I want. You know exactly what's right for me. And that's why I keep coming back.

And here's the wine list. Okay. Your waiter's going to be right over. Is it Danny? Oh, my big brother. I miss Danny. Danny is working today, but I don't know if... I'll have to go check.

She runs in the kitchen. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Come here. Come on, come on, come on. What? What, what, what, what, what? She's fucking back. I didn't recognize her. No, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, come here. Come on, come on, come on. What? What, what, what, what, what? She's fucking back. I didn't recognize her.

No, you gotta be kidding me. No, she did something with the bangs or something is different. It's Annie. It's Annie and she is fucking on one. Okay, I'm not. No, I can't go out there. Was she asking for me specifically? Danny, it doesn't matter who she was asking for.

There's only two. She was asking for me. God, you and Barb are the only servers working tonight. I am not going to give Barb to her because bar. I mean, we don't we don't need that. Barb's dog just passed away. She's had a fucking week. Okay, Danny.

So be a trooper. We can we can turn her in like 60 minutes if we're do it right. Okay, I believe in you. This is going gonna be fine okay you owe me you owe me cass next next eight top that comes in someone else don't worry you're fine thank you okay okay hi oh there's my big brother look at your pretty kidding oh my god hi oh yeah please though it's okay you don't have to touch my apron hi hi annie Brother, look at your pretty kidding! Oh my god, I love you so much! I love you so much! Hi. Oh, yeah, please don't. It's okay.

You don't have to touch my apron. Hi. Hi, Annie. How you doing? Well, I'm better now that I can be the baby sister to my big brother. Hi, brother. Um, sorry. I'm just kind of really busy, so what can I get you? Do you know what you want? Hmm. What does big brother recommend?

I kind of give a look to Cassie. Uh, well, Danny, I recommend, I mean, our specials are, I guess the Chicken Alfredo is, um, selling today. Ooh, that's so creamy and good! That sounds good!

Um, could you ask Mommy in the kitchen to make it extra special for me? Mommy? Yeah, mommy and daddy in the kitchen. They're making all the food. Yes, I will put a special order. Chicken Alfredo

by mommy and daddy. Alright. Anything to drink? I'm not going to ask that. Never mind. I'm going to leave before you give an answer because God knows this will be 10 times longer. If you have any alcohol, run back to the kitchen. All right. Hey, team. Hey, hey, Vicky.

Danny. Danny, what the fuck is this ticket? What is this ticket? She wrote it herself. For how mommy would make? What is that? What is that? She insisted on writing the ticket herself Annie's here

and so she requested that mommy and daddy in the kitchen make it the way she likes okay I got it everybody I got it I know how to do it don't worry I got it she also kind of if you see a little bit down there on the ticket she says I want daddy to come serve it to me so I can give him a big kiss on the cheek.

Okay. I'm daddy. I'm daddy. You're daddy. You're a good man, Tom. I fucking out. Okay. Double extra.

Okay. More cream than anyone's ever had. She said, I want it creamy for the baby. That sounds good to little sissy, is what she said. She is, I mean, look, I just want to say. She is deranged. Is there a point at which we ban her? I mean, she, to be honest honest she leaves a 210%

I know but it doesn't seem worth it but she you know it's her whole thing she's like when you there your family so at this point I wonder if we change the slogan but just for her so like when you hear your family

colon except for Cass or for Annie I mean like like, we changed the slogan. We only tell her we changed it. So it's like, when you're here, it's a good time. That feels pretty generic. When you're here, it's a good time.

We just tell her, we'd be like, hey, here's your food. And by the way, we're undergoing some changes. Yeah, I can do it. And I'll leave that to Daddy. I mean, to Tom. Daddy will take care of it. All right, Daddy. I don't mind when you do it. Yeah, big man.

Okay. That's a little, all right. Daddy! Your little girl is home. She missed you so much. You were the biggest kid. Oh, Daddy, I missed you so much. Thank you for making this food for baby.

Hi there, baby girl. Sorry, I threw up a little. If you would- Are you okay, Papa? Yes, you were making me physically sick. Here is baby's creamy, chewy, deliciousness. You made it just the way I like it. Thank you, Papa.

Just the way you like it. Creamy and cold. Won't you join me? Yes, I want it ice cold. I'd love to join you, but unfortunately, they're making Daddy work in the kitchen. No, Daddy works so hard. He does. Daddy works too hard.

Oh, by the way, I wanted to mention that they have changed the slogan. What? Isn't this crazy that they're doing this? They've changed the slogan. Now, remember how

before it was when you're here, your family, well, they have changed. Yeah, I got my sister. And, of course, there's brother. And mommy and daddy are in the kitchen. And that's you and mommy. And then, well, I'm the baby. Right.

Well, they changed it. And now it's just Olive Garden. When you're here, you're here. So. Olive Garden, when you're here, you're here. When you're here, you're here. So. Oh, Gordon, when you're here, you're here. When you're here, you're here. Being present with your family. Like on a holiday or a special occasion, like a wedding.

Oh, my God, hang on. My buzzer is going off. My beeper. They said another update on the slogan. They changed it. You're holding up like one of like the table numbers at the same time. They changed it again. It's um. Oh, wow.

Olive Garden, when you hear, you just know each other. It's just, you know what? I love it. Cause it's like family. It's like, you don't even have to talk. It's just like, I just know you. Oh. Inherently.

This is crazy. Like how god knew me when he bit me in mommy's womb oh christ okay what the buzzer is going off again i've heard everything now oh i know your pup is getting tired they've told me again that they've changed the slogan. No. Oh, you're not gonna like this one. I've loved all of them so far. Yes, papa. Olive Garden.

No Annie's allowed. Wow. What? They said that's the slogan, and we have to stick to it. aww they said that's the slogan and we have to stick to it no matter how much we love you so I'm sorry you're always gonna be

our special baby but you have to go well oh there's Scott you're pulling my leg, Pops. This is one of your classic daddy jokes. No, the buzzer's going off, and they keep telling me she has to go fly the nest, be her own baby girl. Oh, my God.

No, Annie's a... Did I do something wrong, Papa? It says maybe, but we don't have time. Well, oh my God. Well, can I at least say goodbye? To me, yes. And to Sissy and to Mommy and Brother? I guess, Sissy, as you walk out, pass the booth, the stand, the whole stand.

Yes, you can well papa I love you and thank you for every ice cold creamy beamy ooey gooey chicky alfredy

fettuccine you don't have to keep going I know what you're gonna say and I love you too chicky alfredi fettuccine. You don't have to keep going. I know what you're gonna say. And I love you too. Can I have a hug? You may not. What? You may not.

But you're my dad. I know. And even dads get to choose. So you have to go. Wow, you're really instilling some independence with some tough love, huh? Yeah. Oh, wait. Hang on.

Before you go, I'm getting one last... The buzzer is coming. They say that they're not... That this isn't even from the Olive Garden. What? It's a news, more like a news update. And they're saying- What?

Hang on, hang on. Shut up, shut up. They're telling me that Applebee's just changed their slogan to Applebee's. When you're here, your family Oh my god Annie Oh my god So I'll see you guys over there No, but there will be a family waiting for you

So That's all I want Right, right, right Would you like a to-go box for your Cold cream? No need. Good. I'll put it in my bag.

Oh, fuck. Slops it into my purse. You are so unusual. I'm walking into Applebee's. Baby's home! The prodigal girl returns! No, ma'am, sorry. It's going to be about a 30-minute wait.

But there's no wait when babies are all the way here. Michael, I told you! I told you to bust those tables! Sorry, ma'am, it's going to be a 30-minute wait. You are the best big sister ever. Oh, God. Should we do our last segment? Let's do this shit.

Let's do this shit. This! Oh! Oh! Watch your shaking hands. Where's the kid? I'm back on a habit that I don't like. And that is consuming an ungodly amount of Nola cold brew from Blue Bottle. I know.

I know. I stopped it long ago because of my tummy. Because of my tummy because but now i'm back on the train and it just tastes like caffeinated chocolate milk and it's so good right right it's so good right um but here's a here's a thought uh-huh it tastes like caffeinated chocolate milk. Therefore, you're more likely to drink an amount of it that will make you feel bad. Well, the thing is, I have limited myself. I only have one of them a day. Okay.

And is that your whole coffee for the day? It has been because it gives me such a fucking rush of caffeine i texted you the other day i said i texted alf that i googled okay to have two cold brews a day question mark i texted that to you and you said for you yes and then i also texted it to jeff and jeff bless him did research he's like well actually one cup of cold brews the equivalent to two to three cups of coffee so it says you can have two to three cups of coffee a day and that's fine but maybe not more than one cold brew and I'm like neither of you are giving me answers that I want as somebody who used to be on a two to three cold brews a day lifestyle uh-huh

I can firsthand report it is not good for you no it's not good for me and I already know because i'll have like a most days i'll get like a 12 ounce or even you can get the take on little cartons and it's i think like 10 ounce yeah um but then the other day i got a 16 ounce and even just finishing that i'm like oh my tummy hurts i so i'm really fine on the one a day i'm more of an iced coffee guy these days than i am a cold brew guy. Which is crazy. People think this is crazy, but it's true. Everyone thinks it's crazy. I normally

am a hot coffee girl. I know, which is particularly bizarre given that you live in the desert. What's shaking you? And I'm an ice coffee guy and I live in the North Pole. However will they get along? This is crazy. What's been shaking me is coronavirus covid 19 i didn't

care do you have it no i don't have it but i haven't what but what a crazy reveal it would be if you waited i did i haven't like what's shaking me is that i have oh this whole episode yeah it was covid um i was bumbling with covid what is is shaking me is COVID-19 because it's finally personally affecting me. No, I mean, it's been doing that. I had it twice. It's been doing that. But there was a concert I was super excited for on Tuesday this week in Chicago, two days from now, in like 48 hours. And the artist, whom's concert it is posted on instagram this

morning that he has just tested positive for covid which means the likelihood that the show in 40 he canceled the show tonight and it feels very likely the show in 48 hours will be canceled and i am i'm pretty bummed about it so you know and it's like they what they'll refund me the two tickets and it's like yay 70 but it's like i already spent the 70 you know what i mean and it's not like a crazy amount of i don't know i'm just kind of bummed about it and i wish that i wish they would do something about this virus it's like don't people know speaking of getting COVID. I don't think they do. Well, speaking of getting tickets. There's going to be a great super spreader event. I feel good. To be honest, I feel good having just had COVID now going into the fall and holiday season.

I'm like, I feel pretty feeling better than I did like safety wise before I had it. That post COVID confidence boost does wonders. You're glowing, by the way. I'm glowing. Speaking of getting a ticket, we are performing Review Review Live at New York Comedy Festival, November 5th, Sunday, November 5th at Littlefield in Brooklyn. New York. 5.30 p.m.

New York. The ticket link is in the bio of the Review Review Instagram and also my Instagram bio, which we will link those in a second um and we're we're so stoked so get your ticks we also have very fun guests we got we got the gall we got ryan gall and we got kylie of it all the brakeman of it all so come hang out with us we're so excited it's gonna be a blast it is and if you're listening to this right now if you're listening to this right now and you're like yeah yeah yeah

I'm gonna buy my tickets I'm gonna remember to buy my tickets do it right now go on your go on your fucking chrome and do it just do it just do it Nike we're gonna have 530 show and then hang out with us after it Then come on and hang out. You can meet us.

I don't know how much of a draw that is. You can meet us. We can meet you. You can find Alf on Instagram at alfredinnit. You can find the show on Instagram at reviewreview. Reddit r slash reviewreview. And we have a reviewreview discord. Hey. review review and we have a review review discord you can find riley on instagram.com just the web

browser not the phone app at riley and spa and on twitter.com now known as X for as long as it lasts, at RileyKaiOTN, as we say every single week on the show. Every single week on the show. Mallory. Mallory. Mallory. See you next time, Mallory Mallory See you next time Mallory Bye Mallory Bye Mallory Just a perfect show Alf and Riley

On the mic No more Jeffrey And Kool's goes like he's gone home Just a perfect show I download it to my phone And then later listen at work and I laugh Oh, it's such a perfect show

Now that Jeffrey is gone Oh, such a perfect show you just keep me listening you just keep me listening just a perfect show Kris Jenner is possessed, got Michigan sickness now, it's such fun. Just a perfect show I nearly did piss myself

I had to pause the whole show To recoup Oh, it's such a perfect show Now that Jeffrey is gone. Oh, such a perfect show. You just keep me listening. You just keep me listening. You're going to laugh down low this show. You're going to laugh down low this show.

You're going to laugh down low this show. You're going to laugh down low this show. That was a Hiddem original.