Review Revue - Ouija Boards

Episode Date: August 29, 2023

Alf, Reilly, and Kris Jenner are back to possesses us with goofs.  >>>>><<<<< Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

This is Alfred's point of view from when he got the hosting gig for the show. Did that really just happen? Have I actually understood? My weird jokes I make have caught me a break They're a talent that could help me host a podcast Review, review So I'll review. When I host a podcast, I'll be bold as brass. And when I host a podcast, people will drool over my ass This young chap who's based in Chicago Will the fans scorn or contempt me?

Will Riley say that I'm bad Or like me less than Jeffrey? No, she'll say to me, I see who you truly are A guy on whom I can rely We'll host review review Riley and Spaw and I yes we'll host review review Riley and Spaw

and I I am British yeah bro that's right I am British. Yeah, bro, that's right. I am British. And I've just had a vision almost like a prophecy. I know it sounds frickin' crazy and true, the vision's hazy. But I swear someday there'll be a celebration all for me And it'll be friggin' sweet Like Peter Griffin And I'll host with Riley and Spock

And I'll finally find my place And no one will remember I took an axe to the face And so it'll be for the rest of my life And I want nothing else till I die No way we'll hemorrhage views Cause people love things that are new The hosts of Review Review

Riley and Spa and I Oh, we're gonna cut it out there, but Ramos, I really, really, please, could you play the whole song at the end of the show? That was from Gung Ho Kwok. First time in a while we've had some theme songs from Kwok, so thank you. That was a Wizard and I parody, obviously from Alf's point of view, called Riley and I. And if you don't know what that's from, it's from Wicked.

Not Riley and I, obviously, but the song that is parodying the Wizard and I. I'm scared. Of? To write that song. Yeah. Requires, I mean, scared of to write that song yeah requires i mean the level of real that it was i think that there's a chance that quok has a uh cameras in my home because that was it was awesome your voice is great the lyrics are great this is now a music review podcast. We're kind of like Pitchfork.

Music review. It doesn't have the same ring to it. Music review. I listen to this really cool music review podcast. Oh, what's it called? Music review. But it's music. R-E-V-U-E. So it doesn't make any sense.

Music review. Wait, what if we call it music review review? Wait, what if we call the show music review? This is going to be the best episode. Okay. Okay. Intention. Let's set an intention.

We're already starting with the intention. Before we even get into how our hellish weeks have been. This is going to be the most important episode yet. I think that this episode will matter the most. This is going to be the most important one. This episode, I genuinely think, will matter. This one will matter. Have you been, bitch?

Oh, bitch. I've been fine. this one will matter have you been bitch oh bitch I've been fine it was 102 degrees in Chicago Illinois sheesh oh god sheesh and it was not fun for me I didn't like it

if I wanted that I would live in the head gum studios you know you've literally never been in there you don't yes i have no you haven't i have a hundred percent been in the both the old and the new head gum offices when were you in the la one what do you mean the la one they were both in la i was in i'm sorry i meant the new one. When you were shooting the sketches, like the one where Amir was old as shit and the tennis. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. I remember. I remember. I have an amazing memory. Yeah, surely. I bet that.

Okay. So that what just happened there. I just want to put it in the space for the listener. That mattered. That was important for you guys. I know you were listening at home, us figuring out when Elf visited the studio, important.

And I know you were thinking, I don't see what this has to do with anything. Well, joke's on you. It fucking mattered. Think again. Because this whole episode matters. And yeah, so it was 102 degrees. Now it's like 65 and I couldn't be fucking happy or fall is in the air.

Oh, I'm so jealous. It's hot today. It's 100 degrees today. I'm so ready for it to be pumpkin spice and apple pie. Okay, well, funny you mentioned that because I've- This is going to have nothing to do with my shit. I've gotten a little crazy lately. So normally I'm a hot coffee in the morning kind of girl.

I know this. But it just hasn't been hitting lately. And so I got iced coffee. What? From Target. Not cold brew because it's too much on my tummy. But I got some iced coffee. And I thought, I need a little fun creamer in there.

Normally I just do like some milk or whatever. But I'm easily influenced. I saw a TikTok about, because normally my coffee in the morning is like i'll brew my coffee at home have a little bit of milk and then i have this really nice like pumpkin spice um just like uh truly just spice mix from the spice house in evanston i'm familiar yep uh it's so good but so i saw something on tiktok and it was someone reviewing pumpkin spice like like pumpkin flavored creamers. And normally that would I would not be into that. But the review of the Dunkin Donuts pumpkin creamer was good.

And historically, I have enjoyed Dunkin Donuts. I got the creamer and Daniel was like, I'm so excited for you to try it and immediately not like it. And it was a waste of five. And there's a whole bottle in the fridge that will sit there bitch i love it i'm sipping on one right now it is delicious i adore duncan donuts oh i am having the time of my life i like it so much that the first morning i got home popped that bad boy open had a glass it was so good glass of the creamer you had a 16 ounce glass of creamer i watched you do it i i had a i had a glass of iced coffee you can hear right now oh i love asmr but the other day i poured a glass had it immediately poured a second glass i was bouncing off the goddamn walls. And a third, and a fourth, and a fifth.

Anyway, so that's what's in with me, is that the pumpkin munchkin Dunkin' Creamer. Pumpkin munchkin. Amazing. Pumpkin munchkin. I know, I love Dunkin' Donuts, man. They can do no wrong in my heart. Yeah, I'm a coffee snob.

Yeah, I'll spend fucking outrageous amounts of money on fancy fucking, ooh, this is an anaerobic, you know, whatever the fuck. But man, I love a Dunkin'. Damn, I love a Dunkin'. Dunkin' can be scary good. You know what else is scary? I will get a Dunkin' tattoo if they want. Yes, but no, let's do your transition.

I just want to put that in the space. If Dunkin' Donuts wants to pay me to get a tattoo on my body, what would I do for it? I'm sorry, no, what tattoo would you get? I think I would get probably a big donut, and he's dunking a guy in coffee. Speaking of... Sounds pretty scary, right? A donut dunking a guy in coffee. That sounds a little demonic.

You know what else is demonic? Our whole shit? Ouija boards! That sounds a little demonic. You know what else is demonic? Our whole shit. Ouija boards. Ouija boards. Hey, there's no I in Ouija boards. Ouija boards. This topic was submitted by Sabrina the Teenage Witch on Instagram. Thank you so much.

Did someone say they want me to bring Mr. Misopheles, who looks exactly like Salem the cat from Sabrina the Teenage Mutant Cat back uh no come on I'll do the bit no everyone loved the bit last time um Elf talk to me about Ouija boards

never done it never will I don't believe in that demonic shit no I'm fine with it um I've never I never did it as a kid. Not that I remember and I think I would remember. I think I was

Not that you remember. Look, we were just talking. Oh, it's because it worked. Now that I think about it, I don't remember anything. Anything. Before that night sleepy hollow

that sexy sexy night it was me and Matthew Lillard but yeah no I think so just to give you I mean you already know this I'm gonna say this you can go yeah that's right I was the kind of kid kind of piece of shit kid that would be like fucking Ouija board what do I look like?

A little scaredy cat? A little fraidy baby? I don't need that. That's for babies. I'm not scared of that. And then the minute that someone pulled one out, I'd be like, guys. Guys.

Guys, I think it might be real. Okay, let's work on our quagmires but quagmire off three two one quagmire off and you have to go first go go go do your first crack come on do your quagmire do your quagmire do your quagmire come on come on come on do it do it do it do it do it hurry hurry hurry are you guys ready to order shut up shut up up, shut up. She's doing her quackmire. She has to do it. She's doing her quackmire. She has to do it.

She's doing her quackmire. She's doing her quackmire right now. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Me after two glasses of pumpkin munchkin, Duncan. Pumpkin munchkin ganky. So similarly, I have never done a Ouija board. Do you think you would have been scared of it as a kid? Do you think you would have been like-

I'm scared of it now. Okay, speak on that. I'm scared of it now. No, I am a coward i'm a little scaredy cat baby girl um i am maybe we should do one no um i'm very scared of everything and so especially things that it's like i don't know even the thought that it could maybe do something. There's no way. Listen, I know. Well, exactly.

And that's exactly right. And that's the thought process. It's like, oh, well, there's no way this Hasbro Ouija board from Toys R Us is going to do anything. Unless. So I haven't done it before. And I've actually don't think I've ever seen one in person. Have you? it's like now you're look I couldn't even remember if I'd ever used

one and now you're asking me to remember if I've ever seen one well you said people brought one out and so I didn't know if you were ever in a situation where someone's like let's talk to my grandmother I'm right here no I think uh I'm not dead you don't need that you can just come over and give me a guess

um I'm sorry hey hey Riley I just want to say before we before we do the reviews and everything I just want you to know that this I want everyone to know that we're recording on a Sunday

night I want you to know that this you want i want everyone to know that we're recording on a sunday night i want you to know that this matters yeah this one matters wait have you seen a wedgie yes i'm sure i've seen when i think i was at a sleepover one time and somebody busted it out and it was like one of those things where it was like sleepover kind of vibes where like somebody pulls it out of their bag and it's like interesting no i was telling the fucking story no you're gonna know really interesting you're gonna know the fuck i meant so it's like sleepover kind of vibes or somebody like pulls the ouija board out and they're like we're gonna be using this later and then you watch temple of doom and you fall asleep and no one ever fucking touched and then you wake up and you know it's not like we're gonna do a weegee board at 8am can i tell a very quick sleepover story before we jump in no i too bad fuck i went to a sleepover birthday party for

no way that's no way that's true when i was probably like eight or nine and um it was around or i forget it was around when napoleon dynamite came out so whenever that was that's how old i was now but so here so i remember it's like we had this whole it was all these girls i guess you were like eight does that sound right what year did it come out 2004 so you would have been eight i was no wait you would have been 10 no i was making this whole conspiracy theory that i'm two years older than I am. I was eight. And so we're at the sleepover, and all these girls are wanting to, you know, do whatever, whatever.

But we're like, oh, what should we do? Like, let's watch a movie or something. And I was vehemently saying, I'm like, guys, can we please watch Napoleon Dynamite? Now, mind you, I'd already seen it. God, what a little dork you were. It wasn't like, oh, let's all watch this movie we haven't seen, because I, mind you, I'd already seen it. God, what a little dork you were. It wasn't like, oh, let's all watch this movie we haven't seen because I love watching movies

You had a whole plan that when the dance happened, you were going to do the dance in front of everybody and they'd be like, you're so cool. I love watching movies that I've already seen but that people have not

so I get to experience them watching for their first time. Okay, jot that down to mention to your therapist. Napoleon Dynamite is so funny, you guys. It's the funniest movie I've ever seen. Please, please, please. I'm begging you to watch this.

Keep in mind you're 10. You've seen no less than six movies in your whole life. I'm eight and it's not even my birthday. And I am strong arming everybody. What a brat. They pop it on. I fall asleep within the first five minutes. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Honestly, though, that's kind of what it's like to hang out with you now. What is that supposed to mean? It means that your ass is sleepy as hell and that you're like, let's watch this. Let's watch this. And then you will absolutely fall asleep. Because it's the coziest thing you can do. The coziest thing you could do is put on Napoleon Dynamite.

The coziest thing you can do is play with a Ouija board. Alf, do you want to start us off or should I? I think you should. You've got that glint in your eye. I can just tell you've got a real good one. You've got that glint in your ass. Sorry.

If you're going to apologize, say it like you mean it. This is for... Right, so... Crete Cabin. C-R-E-A-T-C-a-b-i-n kitty wood spirit board cat pendulum board wooden talking boards with planchette dowsing divination kit spirit hunt metaphysical message decor for wicca 18.8 by 8.3 pink so So it's a kitten Ouija board. Right.

And it's pink and it has little kitties playing with butterflies on it. Oh, they will kill them. They will kill them. They will kill them. So this is from Wolf, no last name. Wolf Blitzer from CNN sent this one in. Three stars. I don't remember. Wolf Blitzer from CNN sent this one. Three stars. Wolf Blitzer.

I don't watch cable news. The title is No Eye on the Planchette, Just a Big Hole. What? Not suitable for conversing with spirits as there's no eye on the planchette and communications may become garbled. It's also very small. No box, just comes in a bag, so it's not really giftable.

I'd bought it as a gift, and without a game box, it's kind of a cheap feeling. Still, though, it is unique, with kitties all over it. What the hell? To buy a kitten-themed Ouija board with the intention of communicating with spirits

and i'm sorry did i misunderstand were they mad that they so they bought it they wanted to use it to communicate with spirits it didn't work and then they're mad that they can't re-gift it yes okay so the fact the whole box thing wouldn't have been an issue if it had worked but the fact that it didn't work they were like and i can't even no i don't know i don't know i they i don't know if they've tried i think they're like no they say communications may become garbled so they're like oh i want to gift this to someone because i know they're going to want to talk to somebody but because there's no eye on the thing it's going to be the communication's not going to be great for them so then then there's also the issue with

the box which i don't know why you can't just give them buy a box or put it in a bin bag and call it a fucking day i don't know man showing up birthday birthday party. Your opening presents. Oh, this is mine. I'm really sorry. I'm such an idiot. It didn't come with the box. And so I bought a bag. No, I mean, like, Simon, you're my best friend.

And so for me to be giving you a gift that isn't properly wrapped, I just, I feel like such a stupid idiot. No, no. And it's your special day. And so I'm sorry. No. But I do hope you like it. But I just, I apologize in advance. Everybody, everybody, I want to acknowledge it.

So don't any of you be going shit talking Dave. Don't everyone shit talk dave because he didn't get a box for the gift okay all right simon there you go i said my piece i'm done and you can open your gift happy birthday i love you yeah um okay so i'll just open it now just before you do just it's like, if it had come in a box, would you be happier? If it had come in a box, would I be happier? Well, I don't know what it is yet, so. That's fair. Fair dues. Fair dues. Um. Would you feel more com- sorry. If it had come in a

Sorry. Sorry, Big Chris. Sorry. Go ahead, Big Chris. Don't call me that. Sorry. Regular. Just call me Chris. Yeah. You don't even have to say regular Chris. Well, how the hell am I supposed to differentiate you from Chris J? Because that's Chris Jenner. Oh, that's a good point. By the way, I cannot wait to see what Chris got me.

I have a feeling it's going to blow Dave's little shit out of the water. My question was for Dave. Yeah, no, what's Dave think? Why didn't you just buy a box? Yes, I was wondering that too, Dave. Well, it's because it's like the dimensions of this thing are really specific. Because the gift is awesome.

But it's just, it's like, if it had the box, it would have been taken to another level. I just, I don't want to be that guy. And I feel like I'm becoming that guy. Is it a gift that, like, kind of requires the box? Am I going to open it up and be like, oh, well without the box, like... No. Like, is it just the jack?

Sorry? In the box? But there's no box? It's just the jack? No. Okay. I didn't get you a jack in the box. No, I was just trying to bring a little levity, because you kind of brought the whole mood down a little bit at my birthday. No, no, no, no, this is a party! Dude, you kind of brought the whole mood down a little bit at my birthday this is a party dude you're 30 this is a party okay 30 on the outside they're only on the outside

dude are you having a good birthday um yeah i mean you know i think you you know after 21 it's like they're all kind of like mid well how about you open did i use that right gift chris jenner's just shaking her head in the corner chris i know you're on tiktok is that did i use mid right or do i did i sound old when i said it i sounded old okay yeah thank you for your honesty. Chris, thank you for your honesty. Okay, please. I honestly forgot that Kris Jenner was here, and now I feel even weirder about making my whole thing. So just open.

Please just open the gift. I'm sure she got me a fucking houseboat or something. Please just open it. Okay. Okay. I'm going to parent it. What is this? One of those heavy-duty trash bags, like construction trash bags?

I couldn't get a box. Does anyone have a knife? I can't tear through this. I'm sorry. I couldn't get the box. Kris Jenner throws me a box cutter. Hey, thanks, Kris. Oh. Another fucking bag.

Well, again, I couldn't get the box and this is a gag are you having a gag it's not no i'm not because honestly simon this gift you're i feel like as you enter this new decade it's going to be really important for you because you could get a lot of advice for from some people you may not have gotten to meet up until this point. A lot of advice from a lot of people. Just keep opening it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Jesus Christ. And I feel even weirder about this gift

with Kris Jenner in the room. Of course, yeah. No, no, of course. You open it, it's a Kardashian-themed Ouija board. How could I have known you knew that she would be here you literally knew that she comes to Simon's birthday every year because their moms because she and Simon's mom

got a fender bender and Chris paid her off and she said I don't need your money i just need you to come to my son's you just have to come to my son's birthday and every year i say any chance you could bring someone with you and she never does she comes stag every year has done for 13 years and i love that for her. Well, I'm sorry. I feel really gauche now. But anyway,

if you want to give it a whirl. Oh, I don't know. It's 3 p.m. Feels kind of weird. What does that have to do with anything? Well, Big Chris, it's like to use... Don't call me. Just call me Chris.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Regular Chris, regular Chris, regular Chris. No, don't. Just call me Chris. How am I supposed to tell you and Chris Jenner apart if I don't call you regular Chris? I look over. Chris Jenner has another box cutter ready to throw at me. Regular Chris is fine.

That's what I thought. No, down. Chris, no. Don't need that. She rolls her eyes. She puts it down. You know, sometimes I think she caused the accident. Okay.

I really think, honestly, Simon, like, I think this could change your life, this gift. Okay. So you want to use it now? I think you should. Okay. I think when better than at 3 p.m on your 30th no when the better yes good point i think um well there's a skylight i think the bathroom is the only room that doesn't have windows do you want to do perfect okay everyone else

it's gonna be me regular chris chris jenner and simon in the bathroom sorry sorry to come to to step into this role at your birthday party, but I just feel like I want to get a handle on the situation. Yeah, it's just kind of awkward that you're listing everybody who's here except my girlfriend. So you're saying that I can't come into the bathroom? I mean, obviously it's like there's only room for

four people. Katie, Katie, Katie. It's fine. It's fine. Katie, it's fine.'s only room for four people katie katie katie it's fine it's fine katie it's fine just hang out here just like guard the dip or whatever guard the dip i don't know from who from i don't know maybe you know there's always a chance that chris is gonna surprise me and courtney will show up you look at her shakes her head she's she's always playful like this okay okay i'll guard the dip so that you're the best dave can have his moment you're the best katie i really appreciate you being so cool about this and i'm glad you understand that it's like it's just the core four in the bathroom right now just go i just katie before we go in there i want you to know i do not think of this

this is not the core four just to be very clear i also don't think it's the core four i see chris jenner once a year and i think there's something supernatural about it like regular chris big chris me and him like we were on wrestling in high school that's it like he's i see him at most three times a year. Get in the bathroom. Can we just do this? Okay. Okay.

Okay. It's important. Okay. If it's that important, I'll sorry. Hey, sorry to my girlfriend of nine years. You can just sit here and wait for fucking.

Put a ring on it, dude. Put a ring on it and get in the bathroom. You guys don't get it. We have, we talk about it. It's not like she's You guys don't get it. We talk about it. It's not like she's waiting for me to do it. I talk about it and he kind of shuts it down.

No, we... No, come on. She's razzing me, guys. She's razzing me. Kris Jenner just like shaking her head. Kris Jenner is writing something down and looking at you. Kris, what did you write? What did you write?

Kris, what is that? She just keeps writing. Kris, that's really long what is that i think she's i think she's death noting you the fuck okay everyone's in the bathroom hey chris were you really death noting me earlier okay simon now's not the time to ask if chris jenner wrote you in your death note i think this might be the fucking time to ask if Kris Jenner wrote you in your death note. Dave, I think this might be the fucking time to ask if Kris Jenner... It's fine.

You know what? I know who we can ask. Kris Jenner? No. Who's right here in the fucking... No. My en suite? Because she's not going to say anything.

She never does. That's true. So I think we need to ask the spirits. I think that's part of the curse. I don't think she's allowed. I think we need to ask the spirits. I think that's part of the curse. I don't think she's allowed. I think we need to ask the spirits. Okay, okay. Let's ask.

But you can ask whatever you want. No, you clearly have an agenda. Let's just fucking do full send. Did I use that right? Did I say full send right or did that make me sound old? Chris, you just see Chris underlining something three times. Okay, yeah, that's for sure an F note. Fuck me. Okay. Okay, yeah, that's for sure an F note. Fuck me. Okay.

Okay, Dave, take it away. Everyone, put your hands on the thing. You don't even know what it's called and you got the gift? Shut up, regular Chris. Everyone, put your hands, please. Hello, spirits. Hello, it's

me. Shut up. Come on. Be serious. Sorry, you're right. No, you're right. We gather here on the afternoon Hello, it's me! Shut up, come on! Be serious. You're right, no, you're right. We gather here on the afternoon of Simon's 30th birthday. Yep. And we're here to ask a very important thing. Well, first of all, spirits, are you there?

Can you hear us? The thing starts moving a little bit. A signal! Oh, yeah. Oh, a signal I'm not touching that we're all touching I'm not moving it it goes to yes oh my god

okay well welcome whoever you are we're here to listen and we're here to ask spirit are Simon and I gonna be best friends forever? Are you fucking serious? What?

No, let's see what the spirit says. I very clearly push it to now. Okay, well, that wasn't the spirit. What do you mean? No, I didn't touch. I didn't move it. It just did that. Spirit, is Simon mad at me for something that I can't quite put my finger on and haven't been able to for the better part of eight months, and that's why I feel like a big rift growing between us? I slide it over to yes. Hey, guys, I'm not touching it. No, I know you're not, regular Chris. I know you're not touching it. Nobody thought you were touching it. No, I know you're not regular Chris. I know you're not touching it. Nobody thought you were touching it.

Okay, so. Spirit, will Simon ever tell me what I did wrong so we can fix this? Goes to the letters. Oh, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's spelling something. Wait, wait.

I'm not even doing this. I'm not even. I'm not even doing this. You're not even- I'm not even doing this. You're not even doing it. What had you been doing before? Uh, nothing. Uh, nothing. Goes to V.

V. What could that mean? I guess- V. Does anyone have any ideas of what that could be for? I guess we just have to watch it keep going. Okay. E.

V. E. I wonder what- Well, I mean, maybe-E, I wonder what that is. Well, I mean, maybe... Spirit, do you think... Finish, Spirit. Sorry, I have another question, but finish. Okay.

N. Ven. M. The M. Ven. And then O? Venmo? Venmo? Ven-mo?

Why did it spell spirit? Why did you spell out Ven-mo, I wonder? Hey, Simon, are you doing this? Huh. I don't know. Simon, if I did something just- Is there a Ven-mo outstanding in your account still for $450 for when I paid for your fucking ticket to coldplay

i move it to no shut the flip it over whoa come on i'm sorry but like i could tell it was making chris uncomfortable dude i'm sorry? Did you see how I said that and no one knew which Chris I was talking about? You see why I have to say regular Chris? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it now.

I just wanted to make sure that was clear. Were you talking about me? No, I was talking about Chris Jenner who keeps underlining shit in her fucking death note. I'm sorry, I thought

this would be a fun gift so you could ask the spirits about, you know, what is the next chapter of your life gonna look like? What's the 30s gonna look like? But honestly, I did want to know because you're not telling me. You've been giving the cold shoulder for

months and I guess now I know why. Yeah. It's the Venmo thing. It's that I keep hitting- Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Just go on the app right now. It takes 30 fucking seconds. I know you have the money. Just hit accept. I keep hitting the remind

button. This is crazy. i just want to figure out like what i can do to like repair this i don't think the real problem is the venmo i think the real problem is that you don't listen to me chris jenner is like standing over the the kardashian ouija board just staring at it and the little i'm forgetting what it's called like the little arrow thing the planchette is moving and it's no one's seeing no one else but it's just spelling out kill him now you okay chris sorry chris jay chris jay jenner ch Jenner, are you alright? She turns around. She opens her notebook. Your name is

on fire. Huh. Is that like a cool party trick she does for your birthday? I've never seen that. From outside the bathroom to outside the bathroom, Katie's just guarding. I guess I'll just keep guarding the dip from i don't know who this is crazy

oh haha really cool having so much fun in there without me this sucks i hate his birthday blood seeping out from under the door. Kris Jenner just walks out, just like the end of an evil bed, just drenched in blood. Oh, hey, Kris. Everything okay? What happened in there?

Where's everybody? Regular Kris really blew it up in there. This matters. This matters. This one matters. Because it's going to be Exhibit A in the libel lawsuit against Chris Jenner and the whole Jenner family. Let's take a quick break and then while we're on break, let's all get out our Kardashian

Ouija boards and ask what we need to do next. Wait, what if when we go to the break, what if we threw to the break like this? And we'll be right back. Oh, fuck, I couldn't even say right back. And we'll be right back after these messages. What if we even say right back. And we'll be right back after this message. What if we did it like that?

And we'll be right back. And we'll be Brickety Brack Brack and Derrick. And guess who's Brack Brack Brack again? Britney's Brack. Britney's Brack. Welcome Brack to school, Sam. Wolf Blitzer was CNN. I should have just trusted my instincts.

You ready for a review on our television show? I think this is TV. Oh, no. I really think this is TV. Oh, no shit. Is this TV? Bro, I have a serious... Are we on TV? No, Riley, no. I really think this is TV. Oh, no shit. Is this TV? Bro, I have a serious- Are we on TV?

No, Riley, seriously. You're not allowed to lie for this one. You have to tell me. Are we- Wait, I think this is TV. Are we on TV right now? Is this TV? Because there's a strike.

I don't think we're allowed. No, this is non-union. We're not allowed. This is non-union TV. Oh, yeah, no, this is non-union. I not allowed this is non-union tv I can't do this I can he doesn't want my ass

okay go let's do the next one for your little tv show this is for my tv show this is for winning moves games classic Ouija Brown 8 years and up this is from Leanne G Winning moves games classic Ouija Brown, eight years and up. This is from Leanne G.

Leanne Greensome. Leanne Greensome writes, two stars. Bought it as a, quote, gag, quote, gift. Two separate. Separate sets of quotes, one around gag, one around gift. Good. I don't think this was ever intended to be a real, quote unquote, Ouija board. It is

very thin, scratchy wood. I got it as a gag gift for my kid when he weighed himself, and it was 66.6 pounds. What the fuck? And to piss off my boyfriend. Worked like a charm.6 pounds. What the fuck? And to piss off my boyfriend. Worked like a charm. Sorry.

So her kid weighed himself and he was 66.6 pounds. So she bought him a Ouija board? As a gag gift and also to piss off her boyfriend. Worked like a charm. Worked like a charm. Um, okay. So since this is your first

couples counseling session, I guess I need to start by asking, you know, what brought you guys in today? We don't need to do a whole deep dive into the history, but just so I get a sense of, like, why did you start now? You know, what led you to this point? So, Roger, why don't we start with you?

Yeah. Leanne, I don't think you'll disagree with this. It's probably the Ouija incident. The Ouija incident. The Ouija incident was probably like, I guess what brought to the surface the stuff that had already been. Roger, it's a Ouija. Because there actually is the I in Ouija. And probably like, I guess what brought to the surface of stuff that had already been... Well, actually, Roger, it's a Ouija because there actually is the I in Ouija. And here she goes.

But no, I just want to say, like, if you're gonna start, if you're gonna, you know, finish what you start. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so Ouija incident. Sorry, you say Ouija too? Well, it's just that there is no I.

What do you mean there's no I? There's literally an I at the end. But it's not Ouija. It's, you know, it's... Anyway, it doesn't matter, obviously. I'm pretty sure it's Ouija. Okay, listen, I guess I... Ouija, Ouija, tomato, tomato.

Right, right. I'm just saying I'm pretty sure. Okay, pretty sure, but you're not 100%. No. That's right. I'm not. Okay, so none of us are 100% sure. So none of us, none of the three of us are 100% sure.

Well, you sounded pretty damn sure. Well, I just, you know what? I was making my best guess. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Roger, that was really fucked up. I know. And this was my idea, if you can believe it.

So this was your, okay, great. Let's get more into that. So, Roger. This is my idea. So you say we, you know, the board. The board. And it was your idea to come in. That's right.

Can you give me a little bit of background? Yeah. I guess. So we've been together since high school. Class of 88. Go Beaver. We were the Beaver. Just the singular Beaver?

Yeah, go Beaver. Go Beaver. So just the one. We kind of made a big Trojan Beaver. It was a whole thing. But yeah, we were the singular. Roger, you always get so off topic. I have high school. You're the one who wanted to come here.

So you want to talk about being in high school? She said, why did you come here? I have alma mater pride. Yes, I think to understand the tumultuous tapestry of our relationship. She literally said, I don't need to hear about the beginning. You exhaust me. Okay, we're getting right into it you won't let me get a word in edgeways edgewise for fuck's sake you know what our son you know what our son said to me the other day dr dentist or whatever your name is. Thompson. Thompson, doctor, dentist, whatever.

Our son said to me, I was watching the big game, Go Beaver, on TV. Every game's the big game with this one. On TV, this local public access, they put the high school's games on there. It's pretty awesome. And I was watching it,

and I got pretty heated because the beaver lost and so i so i was like oh damn that damn beaver you know and uh listen did you hear that sigh she literally wants to interrupt me she literally dr dennis she literally wants to fucking interrupt me she won't let me finish the story please go on with the story you. Also, I would really appreciate if you respected my name and position. Just call me Dr. Thompson. Okay, Dr. Dentist. And I don't, okay.

Because you got nice teeth. I don't know. I do nicknames. It's kind of my thing. Anyway, our son. He sure does do nicknames with every piece of ass he sees on the street. Oh, come on. That's his excuse. He goes, oh, hey, sugar ass he sees on the street. Oh, come on. That's his excuse.

He goes, oh, hey, sugar tits. I've never. Oh, hey. Oh, hey. I've never. Kissy lips. Okay, that one I have said. That one I have said.

But sugar tits I've never remembered. And he goes, oh, I do nicknames. I do nicknames. And I say, no, you do harassment. I love it. You do harassment. Whatever. Okay, you guys, both of you, I need you to harassment. You do harassment. Whatever. Okay, you guys,

both of you, I need you to get to the point. Is the Ouija board relevant? She's the fucking sugar plum fairy. Is the Ouija board relevant? Look at me. Is the Ouija board relevant or not? I believe it's pronounced relevant. That's what you both are like to me. Yeah, the Ouija board is relevant.

So I'm sitting down there watching the big game the boy who come in my son the boy come in he always calls him the boy and he says oh that's my nickname for him the boy oh there's the boy his name is Jason the boy come in he see me the dad watching the beaver on TV. The beaver lose. The dad gets mad. He yells out, Dan, that beaver. And then the boy says, Dad, I've never heard the sound of your voice before. Because mom never lets you get a word

in edgeways. This never happened. This happened. This literally never happened. This literally happened. No, what happened was I got a Ouija board for our son as a joke. I was getting to that. No, you weren't. And then Roger got mad and he said, I do not want that demonic shit in my house. And so I said, oh, it's just a joke.

It's just a joke because our son weighed 66.6 pounds. And so I thought it was a joke. It was a little gag gift. Like, oh, our son's possessed by the devil himself and then roger took that very seriously he got very upset with me and he got upset with the boy even though the boy didn't do anything wrong and so then because he got upset with me he's like oh well we need to go to counseling because this you don't understand why i'm upset and so that's why we're here. Gotcha. That makes a lot more sense than you getting mad at the beaver.

Can I just point out, can I just point out, I just want to point out, Leigh-Anne, did you notice how easy it was for me to not interrupt you there? That was the easiest fucking thing in the world. Did you notice how during your story, I didn't interrupt at all, except for the part where you weren't saying anything

fucking true or relevant in your story? I was getting to it. You were not. Dr. Dennis, can I be real with you? My name is Sarah Thompson. Dr. Sarah Thompson. Esquire, at your service, whatever. Roger, why are you being so mean to her?

You're the one who wanted to come. I know, this was a bad idea. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense for you to so mean to her? You're the one who wanted to come. I know. This was a bad idea. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense for you to be mean to her. Doc, can I ask you something? I guess. When you were the girl. What?

In the school. He means when you were, like, a young student. Did you have... Okay. Dreams? Um... student. Did you have dreams? Um. That was a question. I understand

what a question is, but this session is not about me. Uh-oh. Struck a nerve, me thinks. Roger, I see here on my intake form that you are a veterinarian. That's correct.

Is this how you talk to your patients at your place of work? I would never talk to them. They are animals. Cut to him at work. So, hi, Dr. Greensome.

Um, this is Poppy. That is my name. Yep. And she is 10 weeks old. She's a golden retriever. And so she's just here for her vaccine and her checkup, please. Oh, the dog is very cute. Are you gonna... You can talk to her.

Can I? Sorry, I thought I was Dr. Greensome, not Dr. Doolittle. Are you gonna... You can talk to her. Can I? Sorry, I thought I was Dr. Greensome, not Dr. Doolittle. Let's get her up here and give her some shots, huh? Oh. Oh my god! What? It was just no bedside manner.

What do you mean? I distracted her with a little bit of meat in my offhand, and then I jabbed her with my good hand. All right, this is fine. Cut back to therapy. I'm a good vet. That sounds like a very normal... I'm a good vet. That sounds like a very normal...

Okay. Sure, I don't fucking sit there and wax philosophical to the fucking animals, but it doesn't mean I'm not a good vet. And you should wonder what this one does for work, I'm sure. I actually don't need to know. You're the one who's being very rude and not getting to the point. Oh, okay. I guess

you're not interested in how my wife makes her mind. Do you want to make this work or not? Do you want to move forward with your wife or not? Sure, she's a jockey. She races horses. we met because i was a horse doctor at the track you know you said that you met in high school right okay what of it now he is right i was a high school i started jockeying when i was yes and i was in an internship work release program at the racetrack treating the horses. It was a very normal situation.

Many couples have met this way. Many couples have met this way. I don't understand why you need me. Because it seems just like, oh, this was a spat. Unless we get deeper into you harassing women on the street, calling them sugar tits. I don't leanne can you please tell the kind doctor dentist that i don't do that i already told her that you do because you do cut to uh the kids therapy session in like 20 years.

Evan? So. Evan? Jason. Jason. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Wrong chart. No, it's okay.

Jason McGree. You remind me a lot of my dad. He rarely ever called me by my name, by any name, really. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Hey, Jason. I would like to apologize for calling you Evan just there. That's a patient I have later today. Want another ridge?

Oh, yeah. That's amazing. Can I get you a water or something? Oh, my God. Yeah. Honestly, I'll take whatever you have. Sure. I've got water. Take whatever I can get.

Is that often the case for you? You could say that. Yeah. Why don't you tell me a little bit more about that? Well, I guess we'll just jump right in. Sure. The first memory that's coming back to me

right now when you say something like that is when I was a boy, I would watch my dad watch the can i hold up for a second whoa whoa okay so now i have two questions had one now i have two okay um you said the phrase when i was the boy i would watch my dad watch the Beaver on TV. Yeah. I'm going to need you to walk me through why you said when I was the boy. There's a degree of depersonalization going on. Well, that's what my dad would always call me. He would call you the boy. He would call me the boy.

And how did that feel when he would call you that and not Jason? Well, I didn't have anything to compare it to really because he never called me Jason. Was your mother also around? She was around and she's great. And she would call you the boy as well? No, she would always call me Jason. So that's something to compare it to, right? Well, I guess I don't have any memory of my dad calling me Jason.

So it's like I wouldn't know anything different of like, oh, when he calls me this, I feel this. It would just be, where's the boy? I am watching the beaver. The beaver has a big loss. I am mad dad. Oh, get demon out of house. I hate demon. And I hate Ouija board almost as much as I dislike the boy.

You should never have had the boy. Why did you not tell me to use the condom? This is bad news. How old are you when this is happening? I was 12. That's too young for language like that around the boy, around a child. I'm sorry, Jason.

I'm sorry. No, Jason, I'm sorry. You were saying the boy so much. It kind of like it just. When I get upset, I feel the demon come back into the room. And so. Oh, well, no, we don't know the demon that was conjured when I was 12 with a gag gift Ouija board that my mom got me. OK, OK.

All right. I'm going to you. In the corner Chris Jenner covered in blood starts to appear. Like over the therapist's shoulder. She points, she looks down at him, box cutter in hand. I just Hey, hey, Jason, Jason, looks like you

just saw something. Are you okay? She's kind of, you left me for a second. Confetti comes out and then they're on the moon. And no, she didn't do that because it's also my birthday. She brought a unicorn into the sunset and then

they all had spaghetti bowl of maize for dinner. Fucking Christ. This one mattered. This one matters and it mattered. Do you want to hear a review from me? No, I want to hear a review of mattered. This one matters, and it mattered. Do you want to hear a review from me? No, I want to hear a review of you. This is for large, classic design,

handmade planchette Ouija board. One star from Dana C. Dana Scully. Scully. Dana Scully. From the fucking X-Files. You could have said Dana Carvey, which would have been just right there. But I wanted to say Dana.

But Dana Scully. Scully. Dana Scully. One star. Are you mad at me? The title is doesn't work. Oh. The board looks good and is built well.

However, when I tried to use it by myself to become possessed, it did not work as advertised. Now it sits on my wall as a decoration piece until I can attract a spirit to possess my body. What the fuck? Two friends at lunch. How have you been girl oh my god

girlina bobina fanana fanafotina I have been like troubled I've honestly been like stressed to the max not gonna lie is it that um oh what was his name Kyle was that the guy at work that bought your boss oh my god my boss who

Kyle was that it? Yeah, Kyle. Kyle, who touched me inappropriately, and there was the whole lawsuit. The lawsuit. I remember that. No, that was fine. That was fine. That was fine.

He's in jail, am I right? He's in jail, yeah. All right, that's for the best. That's what was stressing me out, because that's all wrapped up. Oh, well, first of all, let's make this a celebratory lunch then. I didn't realize that they were finally – because I know he had appealed. He did. And it was crazy because there was also witnesses.

Like that's what's insane. Well, and you weren't the only one. I mean, and it's a tale of over time. I was certainly not. You were not the only one. I was certainly not the only one. So it was wild that he thought that that appeal was going to go anywhere. But I'm sure for you psychologically, even knowing the appeal probably wasn't going to go through, just knowing it was out there was probably tough for you.

It was really tough. But honestly, it's like, because that's all done now, I'm feeling a lot better. What's stressing me out. You could focus on other things though, I bet. Oh my God. I thought I was going to have just like a nice like me weekend. Yes. Like do the things I wanted to do.

It's summer. And even that didn't work out. It's summer. And even that was a wash. Why was that a wash? No, you don't want to hear about me. It's just all like, ugh. No, seriously?

No. Me? Okay. Open invitation. Open invitation. Me and my sister. You remember my sister. I think you guys met.

Claire. Claire. Claire. You met at the game night where we played Clue. Yes, Clue Claire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She got really mad when anyone else would get a guess right. She got, like, really mad.

Yes, if you, like, reached for the dice, she would kind of slap your hand. There's dice, right? She'd, like, growl a little bit. And then she, yeah, anyway, so me and Claire, we have this kind of, like, every Sunday, we call it self-care Sunday. It's just, like, a thing we do where we, like, you know, she comes over and we kind of like do like this kind of like a chill out.

You know, sometimes we love a chill out. Yes. Sometimes I love a chill session. I'm obsessed. Sometimes we smoke a little. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes get out of here. You naughty girl.

Sometimes we take a little CBD edible. Okay. And then sometimes we just we just talk or we watch it you know like an old film you know i've got that 70 millimeter projector in the attic and we'll i love that we'll watch okay well maybe i would love to come over with with of what i have that original print of the moon landing that we'll watch and we'll get high and we'll kind of talk about it. That honestly sounds like top tier girls night material. And it's just a relaxing chill out hang. Okay.

Well, that's honestly how I wish my Sunday could have gone. I like. What happened, girl? I got my favorite tea. That's what I was trying to say. Open invitation. And I'm not talking about the gauze. Open invitation though.

Thank you. I so appreciate that. Because I tried I was trying to say. Open invitation. And I'm not talking about the gauze. Open invitation though. I got my, thank you. I so appreciate that. Because I tried to do this like a little me night. A little Sunday night for just me. I had a bath. That was nice. My food delivery was late.

But what can you do? What did you get? You know. I got Pad Thai, of course. Of course. With three extra lives. Three extra lives. Yes. Three extra lives. Three extra lives. Three extra lives like you always got. Girl, I know you.

I know you. I love that tang. Yeah, because you had scurvy in college. You had scurvy in college. Well, it was crazy. You started eating all those lies. Well, we had... What was craziest, I remember when I had scurvy you had thrush i had thrush well and it was a

just oral let me tell you there was there was a lot of thrush there was a lot of thrush and you got that thrush from rush i got the thrush at rush because i was trying to pledge delta and then and that joke was on me rush thrush they wouldn. So anyway, after I had my pad thai, what's crazy is like I was snuggling in, getting in for the night. And then I opened up my Ouija board that I got from the antique shop down on Olive Street. Olive Street. Yes, I love it there. And yeah, it's that cute little place. And I open it up.

And then the first instruction, there was like a little handwritten note inside the box. And I'm like, okay. Always buy secondhand. Always buy second hand. Always by second hand. It's giving Jumanji. It's giving Jumanji. You never know where you're going to get it.

So it had a little handwritten note. And it said, two drops of blood will open the gate. Okay. And I said, okay. Okay. Two drops. Just two. So did a little pinprick, pinprick. Put it on the paper.

You did two pinpricks? And then it said, of my fingy. Okay. To get the blood. Right, right, right. So I did a little pinprick, pinprick Put it on the paper You did two pinpricks? Of my fingy Oh, okay To get the blood Right, right, right I guess, well, so what happened is like I did one pinprick on one Because you could have done one pinprick

And then just squeezed it twice You didn't have to do two I didn't think about that You did two separate pinpricks on the same finger Well, so you'll understand Maybe this is why it didn't work Maybe that's why it didn't work It didn't work

Well, I asked This whole time I thought it was going to work. Well, you don't even know what I was going to do. No, but I thought it was going to work because I have faith in you. Oh, thank you. I love you so much. Normally it all does work out because it's like, I love you the most. And so I tried opening up

a vessel within my soul for a demon to come and take possession over my body, but it didn't work. I actually came face to face with the demon. You wouldn't believe it. It took the appearance of Kris Jenner. Okay. And I said, Kris.

Did you ask it its true name? You know what? I asked its true name. Oh, girl, you have to ask the true name. No, I said I did. Okay. And you know what's crazy? What did it say?

It's Kris Jenner backwards. Oh, it's Kris Jennerenner backwards oh it's chris jenner backwards no not no i mean like it's the name is chris jenner but said backwards in reverse oh i thought you meant it had like three names no the name is not chris jenner backwards oh so it's renege sri srik yeah no sir yes so renege renege renege sirk sirk renege Cirque looked at me up and down, and the demon said, honey, I wouldn't get in that body if it was the door, and I'm on the Titanic sinking.

Oh, what a- That was a weirdly worded burn. That is wordy. That didn't make any sense. Oh my god. And then she slapped me across my face and she left. Well, can I be honest with you? Yeah.

Better that she didn't have a fucking box cutter in her hand. I've heard about her. You've heard about Ynnerskris? Yes, Ynnerskris. Skirsreik? Yes, no, well- Ynnersreik. So, remember, do you remember my sister?

Clue Claire? No, other one. Oh, do you remember, you remember my sister? Clue Claire. No, other one. Oh, was that Yotzi Yasmin? No, sorry, Sarah. And we were one night in elementary school. We were in the bathroom. My other sisters were asleep in their beds. And I went to the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror.

And we said, Kris Jenner, Kris Jenenner chris jenner no you didn't we did and i know you're not supposed to no you did not no this really happens that's so dangerous everyone thinks that it's like oh no that's so silly but no it's actually really dangerous no well let me tell you what happened next there she is she's in the back corner of the bathroom she's in the back so you've seen her yes pants around Pants around her ankles, sitting on our toilet. I shit you not. Stop it. She wouldn't do that.

No. She would literally not do that. Because she was having a shit when we called her. So she materialized, but she was in the middle. Sorry, so was this Kris Jenner or was it Yunerskir? I think this was real life Kris Jenner. I don't think this was the demon one at all. No, girly, you summoned Kris Jenner?

I think I summoned the real life Kris Jenner. She was pissed. She kept going, Corey, Corey, how did I get in here, Corey? Was Corey there too? Did you also summon Corey? No, we couldn't find him. Well, how did she get back? I literally, we said, oh my God, Kris Jenner, I'm so sorry.

We will let you finish your business. She said, there's no bidet in here. There's no bidet in here. I was like, girl, you are in Ohio. You summoned her with, you summoned her, sorry. You are in Ohio. No, but that's on you. You summoned her without making sure that you had the accommodations.

I don't think there's a bidet in the whole state of Ohio. So then why did you summon her? We were eight. We didn't know better, did we? I guess. Wait. Are you mad about the? Sorry, this is kind of huge when you were eight chris jenner was dating cory yeah that timeline doesn't really make sense what

do you mean i'm 16 chris jenner has been with cory for. You're also, you know what? You are, it is so wild that we met. Ahead of my time. Ahead of my time. Ahead of your time because I am 30 years old. Yes. And so it's like, I'm so glad we met through this like big sister mentor program. Doogie Howser. I'm a real Doogie Howser.

A sort of the good doctor situation. You know what I mean? I was like, I was very ahead of my curve mentally uh academically i'm only 16 i was in college we met in college when i was 12 we became fast friends i don't know i know i know i don't know why i'm explaining this to you no i know i think sometimes i think of college as like a big sister mentorship program because you were so young when you when we met in school yes well and what's weird is that i was your big that's what was crazy that was so crazy when you were rushing yes when i was the thrush girl and there was only one

sorority that would take me i was your big yeah yeah that was amazing well so anyway how did chris like how did you leave it with her i literally i shit you not we said miss jenner miss jenner miss jenner we were so sorry will you finish your business? She kept going, Corey, Corey. Where's the bidet? Is Corey in the house? She kept saying, Corey in the house? We said, I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Jenner. That's a TV show.

You said, Corey in the house is a TV show. Yes. It's a party every week, baby. And we just left her in there. And we said, you just do your thing. You wrap up. You come out when you're ready. So did she vanish when she was done? Well, so that's exactly what happened is we heard a flush dead silence an hour later we're finally like she has to be gone we open it up she's just

standing in there she was waiting for us it was a crazy night that is really crazy it was crazy is that i don't think i've ever heard her mention that ever like in any interview or on the show or anything it's like you'd think that she would in any kind of public setting you think that she would be like the craziest thing happened to me like that would have been great for the show for her to be like i was summoned well you know what i think that is i think that's renaissance let's go i think that's theessa Skr... I think that's the demon. I think they swapped places that night. And I genuinely don't think...

You think Yenor... Yenor Skr... Yenor Skr... Was... Switched places with Kris? I think there's an... I think there's actually an incredibly high likelihood that the real Kris Jenner is still in a bathroom in Cleveland, Ohio.

And so this was eight years ago that you did this? This was eight years ago. She just started... And you haven eight years ago she just started and you haven't been you're 16 and you haven't been home you haven't been to your childhood well there was the fire of course there was the fire did the house burn down well everything but the bathroom yeah and they couldn't get in they just left it condemned whole house condemned except the bathroom it was kind of a kind of a fascinating moment. Anyway, girl, I'm so sorry. Girl, I am so sorry. I did not realize we were going to be doing this for so long today.

I do have another lunch. I have another lunch date. Hmm. Another lunch date. Are you pissed? Are you mad at me, girl? No, I'm not pissed. Girl, I love you. I'm not pissed. I love you. There's just something off about you today. I can't quite put my finger on it.

I wouldn't read into it too much. Girl, can I ask you something? You have to be honest with me. I'm scared I know. Bestie, be honest. I'm scared I know, but yes, go ahead. I'm going to be really jealous. I'll be jealous, but I will understand.

Okay. Are you currently being possessed? No. I'm gonna be really jealous I'll be jealous but I will understand Okay Are you currently being possessed No are you currently being possessed By the demon known as Minorskrieg Girl You Come on

I did not This is so uncomfortable Are you kidding me You always get everything and you're only 16. Skinsuit on the table. Skinsuit on the table. Here it is. Reaches, pulls her whole head off.

It's Kris Jenner. Hi, you're Skr... Why her and not me? I'm not worthy? Yeah. Is there anything I could do differently? Yeah. My hair? Yeah.

What about my hair? I don't know. Okay, well, what if I dye it? If I dye it? If I shave it? There we go But then it's not gonna look slay You're not using that right So this is why

Fine, I'll shave my head It just won't look good on my head shape Yeah But if I do it, you'll possess me? Yeah Promise? Either way Either way? on my head shape. Yeah. But if I do it, you'll possess me. Promise. Either way. Either way.

I shave my, I cut to my bathroom. I'm shaving my head. Turns off the lights. Kris Jenner, Kris Jenner, Kris Jenner. Ugh,

Corey, Corey, what the hell? Whoa, where the hell am I? It's a different bathroom, Corey. Corey, Corey in the house. Corey in the house.

Corey in the house. And that was important. This one mattered. I think what matters is that we do our last segment. I don't know if I have it in me. This shook me all week long. This is Shaking Your Wiggle On. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. What's been shaking your ass on the way to class?

Alfred, are you kidding me? I'm burping. What, am I allowed to burp anymore? What's been shaking you? What's been shaking me? There was a movie theater in Chicago that closed this week. Oh, no. The new 400 for all my Chicago heads know it well. It was the theater that I was going to the whole time during the pandemic when I lived here.

And, you know, I saw the last movie I saw there was Barbie, like, you know, three weeks ago. Whoa. And they had been in financial trouble for a while and I was really hoping that the summer you know the Barbenheimer everything was going to save it and it was looking good there for a while and then last week they said nope we don't have enough money bye

and they were the oldest independent theater in Chicago and they're now closed now there's only I think one left one independent movie theater that's like really, or maybe two. But yeah, it's kind of sad. It's brutal. I'm so sorry.

So that was, it's kind of a bummer. And I think, you know, it's just, it's a weird time. Because obviously, I don't know if you've heard, there's, it's called a strike uh going on and oh I'm familiar and it's just a weird time you know what I mean to be a a person who who who likes movies and tv and and and and endeavors to make those things where it's like it's tough not to to feel disheartened when there's movie theaters closing and studios refusing to pay people a living wage and I wish I could sit here and plug some

awesome TV show but unfortunately they're all trash and the writers don't deserve anything but yeah so that's kind of been shaking me it's been a weird week for that I was not expecting that to happen you of been shaking me it's been a weird week you know yeah for that

i was not expecting that to happen you know it's like it's weird anyway what's been uh what's shaking me is that um and if you say something that makes it's kind of pithy by comparison to my like little thing i just did but you're gonna look like real goof no my thing is that i had a covet exposure two days ago and so i'm in the waiting period now to see if i get it knock on wood i don't um so that's what's shaking me kind of every day is like are my symptoms psychosomatic you know i tested negative today but who's to say i won't tomorrow so knock on wood that i don't get COVID round 2 um I like do you remember next time you record you'll know

if I made it through or not do you remember like April 2020 yeah cause I barely do and when everyone was like no the CDC is saying like it could be like 3 years

and we were all like shut the fuck up When everyone was like, no, the CDC is saying like, it could be like three years. And we were all like, I don't want to talk. And we were all like, shut the fuck up. There's no fucking way it's going to be three years. And then now I think, oh, my, it's been two and a half years. Yep. And here we are. I am. Hopefully I don't get it.

Yeah, I mean, I've had it twice. And what were we talking about? There's that long COVID. You can find Alfred on Instagram. Do you think the long COVID is why I didn't remember the Bobbit episode? Yes. At AlfredInIt. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview.

Reddit r slash ReviewReview. We are on Discord. Head to Discord ReviewReview channel. Yeah. review review we are on discord head in discord review review channel yeah you can find riley on instagram.com just the web browser not the phone app at riley and spa and on x.com elon mus's X, back and worse than ever, at Riley Coyote for as long as it lasts. And as we say every single week on the show, we are-

Every week. Always saying this. Oh, we can't stop. We can't stop. We have a chemical dependence on saying this. Mm-hmm. You're- You're-

You're- You're- You're- You're- You're- Bye! Bye. This one mattered. That was a Hiddem original.