Review Revue - Oxfords

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about oxfords (the shirt) and discuss ruined fundraisers, dish rags, and fake car dealerships!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

Riley spelled with a double L, read a review. It made her laugh out loud and she knew what to do. While Jeff spelled with a G, was missing UCB. They got together and they made a pod For podcasts like me Review, review, review, review Review, review, review, review With Jeff and Riley Jeffrey, James and Riley

And Spall Jeffrey, James and Riley And Spall Ben Folds parody I love that Did you know that song? No Zach and Sarah I love that song I love that. Did you know that song? No.

Zach and Sarah, I love that song. I love that. That was so great. The end was like the cherry on top. Yeah. The cherry and spot. Sarah spelled without an H was getting bored. I don't know that song. It's a Ben Folds classic.

But I do love this song. It is good. So whatever the original is has nothing on this. I haven't heard it, but it's not what this is.. But I do love this song. So whatever the original is, has nothing on this. I haven't heard it, but it's not what this is. It came in from Evan. He bested Folds. He did. He bested Ben Folds.

And he entered into the Folds, in a way. Yeah. Yeah. Of my sheets. At least he can. You bedded Evan. I wish he could say his last name. I'll say it and bleep it.

I bedded. You bedded Evan? Man, it's not clear if you'll wed Evan, but you'll bed him. We'll see where it takes us. And did I mention that his name was Jake Sus? It's not. That's his last name. It's not.

No, you're right. It's not. Hi, Jeffy. Hi, Riley. It's been a That's his last name. It's not. Right. No, you're right. It's not. Hi, Jeffy! Hi, Riley. It's been a minute since we've recorded. Yeah, it's been like two weeks, right? Because we were both gone-gone. Yeah. We were both... I was visiting family in the Midwest.

And you were on a lake. I was visiting family. I was visiting family because Tahoe is part of me now. Now? Sorry, so you were visiting family, past tense, because Tahoe is part of you

now, present tense. Hindsight's 20-20. I'm gonna Monday morning quarterback it and say that Tahoe is a family member of mine. The lake's waters were that of my blood and I was its kin. You were bleeding in the lake.

You cut your foot and you bled in the lake. That's correct. But it ended up being some kind of Wiccan ceremony and we mixed bloodlines so much so that I can't help but feel like Tahoe. How was Chicago? Went to Chicago and went to Indiana. Both were fantastique.

Yeah. It was really lovely just to get to see family. Hadn't seen my dad in a calendar year. Hadn't seen like my aunt and uncle and cousins and more than that. How is your uncle? He's great. All right. You ask as if you know who he is that it's like, oh, how is he? How is uncle? Yeah, no, he's good. He's good. Uncle Ant Spa. Jay, Uncle Jay. Uncle Jay, that's what I was going to say. He's my dad's sister's husband, so he's not an Ant Spa, but he's good. Okay, well, he'll never be an Ant Spa, and that's what I always used to say to him when we'd razz each other. Sorry? When I would razz Jay, I'd basically be like, hey, and you'll never be an Ant Spa, and he'd be like, ah.

Right. Okay. When is the family reunion is that is that gonna be august like you are not invited okay um there is a date set and um the invites have gone out and you on purpose did not get one because you you will never be in a spot no it had to have been an oversight it must have been you're not you go have your family reunion with a lake i guess and i'll hang out with my family okay all right it's a nice second but also i wonder if because jay would have loved tahoe no i don't think so he'll never be an ant spot but he could be a tahoe that doesn't make any sense um it does because i'm Jeffrey Tahoe. It's not. All right, man.

I'm trying to form some kind of bond either with a lake or with Jay, and you're cock blocking me in every direction. Either with a body of water or with your non-blood related uncle. I'll take either. Obviously, I would prefer Jay. Either one will have to do and I can't even have that HeadGum office

HeadGum office is open, wide open for business I'm excited to go I was in the old team in a long time so I just hope they remember me been a while it's that's like i you know

it's only been like a year like they don't they wouldn't forget you existed you have a podcast you don't know you don't know you don't know that you can't promise that like you can assume well no you can't like you you don't know that one day if i walk in like when i walk in there and i'm like hey everybody they're not gonna be like sorry, sorry, are you are you lost? Are you looking for something? And I'm like, oh, no, this is I I do. I work here. And they'll be like, not you.

I don't know who you are. And I'll be like, it's me, Riley. My face and name is on the website under the team of people who work here. And they'll be like right god haven't heard that name in years so they do remember the name right so even in your worst case scenario we're talking about oxford shirts we're talking about oxford shirts it's oxford's the shirt last night jeb and i were texting like, oh, we should record an app. And I said, what topics?

And usually we'll have like a full list. We'll just kind of like go back and forth. Like we'll shoot off like three or four each and decide from that list. All Jeff sent was Oxford's one text, follow up text, parentheses, The Shirt. I'm like, well, that's obviously the title of the show. It was the least amount of effort we've ever gone through to find a topic it was a one-hit wonder i was at a pop-up having dinner last night it was so fucking good it's called rad burger what's that i asked what food it was a rad burger at rad burger two days only

it was a gazpacho rad burger i had ceviche on the day and i called, a rad burger. I had ceviche on the day, and I called it a rad burger. Right. No, but I was like, you texted me, what's the topic going to be? And I just kind of looked up from my phone. I was like, there's got to be something here that I could figure out. And then I turned to look at my buddy, and I'm like, he's wearing an Oxford shirt. I'm like, Oxford's? The shirt?

The ride. The experience in 4D I should never be an imagineer Oxford shirts the ride the experience in 4D so basically it's collegiate prep chic

at Epcot and who says no everyone has their hand alright for sure what about Ellenen does something then or whatever yeah all right cool of course i knew you'd like that one jeff experiences with oxford the shirt oh buddy i went to uh my high school had a dress code and the dress code was you had to wear khakis in an oxford Got it. Yeah, so that's my experience. I think there's a photo of me with my buddy Tucker,

if you dig on my Instagram, at Jeffrey James. You're crazy, man. You're crazy. No, I mean, it's like the little plug. It was the little plug. That was crazy. Same for the end, actually. Cut that part out, and we plug at the end. So you actually are messing up the whole format

in your little story. You actually just kind of, we might have to start over now, because now it it's like i don't know which way is up i had to wear oxfords every day of my life until i was 18 yeah and we're back yeah so tell me about the oxfords let's we're rolling right on through you had you had to wear oxfords and khakis and you you had a friend um well i still have the front i was just with him two days ago uh no i yeah oxfords and khakis every day for the for my entire life until i was 17 and then i went to college and then i didn't know how to dress like i've taught i had a conversation with somebody

recently i think it was my friend sarah and i was like i did not know how to dress and you want to know the proof and maybe we can post this to Instagram I don't have my phone actually with me uh it's there's this photo of me my freshman year of college uh volunteering at a at a dog shelter just walking the the pups the German Shepherds and uh I was like with some people I was was just like, take a photo of me. Like I need like a good photo with a dog for my dating app profile. And it's a photo of me with like a fine shirt. Is it an Oxford? It was a button-down, but not an Oxford. It was a flannel.

And the worst jeans anyone's ever worn. Wrinkled, greasy, and with a four-inch break. So basically, if you pulled the jeans down, they would almost cover the shoe. Like, not even, like, height-wise. I mean, pulled down over the shoe, out towards the toes. And so I think it's criminal for anywhere to have a dress code, especially schools when you're trying to figure out who you are.

Anyways, I read something somewhere that said that the la oxford or the la button down is a long sleeve t i know i've always said that like i've i've always said that even when i was little i'm like the the la button down is a long sleeve t how old six what's your first review? Okay. Oh, my God. Okay, this one is for, I'm pretty sure it's like the Amazon Basics. Yeah. Like men's Oxford shirt. The Amazon Asics.

Yeah, I don't know. This is two stars from TX Sugar. So can you give first initials for TX? God. I'm imagining it's Texas Sugar, but we're going to TX Sugar. Ty Zander Sugar. Ty Zander Sugar, two stars. The title is not an untucked shirt, dot, dot, dot, if that's what you're expecting.

Okay. Hello. I'm sending back the white shirt that just arrived it reminds me of what untucked shirts used to be like before the designs changed so we didn't have to tuck them in like og dads i ordered the shirt last minute specifically for a non-profit event i was attending it came in on time but i couldn't see myself in it beyond the bathroom laughing laughing. It's also made of heavy material that'll leave you in a sweat. It'll leave you in a sweat. Honey, we're running late! Are you almost done in there?

The event started five minutes ago. We are the chairs. We need to show face. I know, I just feel dumb in it. It's a button down. I mean, it's truly like- It's an Oxford. Can you not do it the disservice of calling it a button down? That's why I'm so self-conscious. This is supposed to look good untucked and look at me.

My God, you look fine. It's fine. No, truly, you're the only person who's going to notice. If you didn't tell me that you thought you looked weird in it, you just need to walk in with confidence. That's all it's about. I don't have that. I know, but God, tonight, for one night,

please, can you just... I know this is like the most important night of your philanthropy career, but I can't walk in wearing this untucked. And if I tuck it in, I look like my dad. Yeah. How do you like that? Your dad is a very handsome man, Jason.

Oh, here we go again, comparing me to my old man. I'm not comparing you. You said you look like him, and I think he's a handsome man. Now, if we don't leave right now to see Otters for Tots Foundation, they are never going to speak to me again. The bottom of this drapes just above my knees this doesn't look good and if anything is borderline cultural appropriation of some kind of other garb

that I don't even know about then change your shirt and let's go fine he changes it to the only other shirt he brought on the trip it's like a rush vintage band t-shirt I think we should go separately I think I will go like 15 minutes before

you and you can tell me like i'm so sorry maybe you could say something got on your shirt but listen i i love you i do but my god i am not gonna let you ruin this night for me just go without me then i don't want to go anyways great i'll go you. You're a really high powered business executive and I'm going to stay at home dad who's launching his own video game business. Oh, Tucker, my favorite father-in-law. How are you? No way. No fucking way. What are you doing right now?

Dad. What are you? She's a witch. She's a witch. Don't pick up the phone. Could you just do me a favor? Your son, yes, he's being difficult. He's being difficult.

You know how he is. He said I was being difficult? He doesn't know who I am. He wasn't around much. Do you want to come with me to a gala? Oh, of course I'll be champagne. I know how you love your champers. I do.

Fine, I'll go. Okay. If he's going, I'll go. Cut to the gala. Son, you look like you've been canceling your gym memberships. Dad, come on with that. Tucker, come on. You don't need to.

He's been playing a lot of video games. He's very, very proud. Oh, yeah, video games. That's not much of a sport, is it? I love sports, and I love being a classic dad. And I love that about you, Tucker. You know, you are just the dream of a father-in-law. Liz, you are a vision in Navy.

Oh, stop it. Dad, this is insane. Whatever. I have to go up and give the speech for Sea Otters for Tots, but I'd love to have you on my arm walking me up to the stage. This is fucked up. I'm so the stage. This is fucked up.

I'm so sorry, but this is fucked up. No, son, let's not use that language in a place like this. Also, why you wear... Rush is not a good band. That's what I said. I like them. Another Tom Sawyer? I would love to accompany you, Liz.

No, accompany. An I for an I. Oh, we have the same sense of humor. Did you find that funny, son? Not really. you, Liz. No, an eye for an eye. Oh, we have the same sense of humor. Did you find that funny, son? Not really. Ah, yes. We would be a much better fit. What was that?

Hmm? And now, please give it up for your host, the chair of Sea Otters for Toss, Liz Krager. Woo! It's packed for some reason. Why are they screaming? This is such a classy event to be yelling as they clap. Well, if you took interest in my work, you'd know how beloved I was in this organization.

All right, Tucker, can I have your arm, please? It's always been yours. Thank you so much. You are such a gentleman. Stop it. Oh, my God. Jason, why can't you be like your dad i'm telling you he's not as great as he seems he might fuck this whole night up for you in a different way hello everyone thank

you so much for coming to the annual gala for sea otters for tots i am blown away by the support you have shown for these sea animals and the children whom they are serving. It fills my heart to know that over the course of one evening, we have raised, drumroll please. It's a big number. It's a big number. Everyone, I'm not kidding. Please drumroll. Please.

They all pat their knees. $6.7 million. Yes! Yes! Yes, this is huge. The amount of sea otters we are going to buy for these children is astronomical. And we wouldn't be able to do it without all of you. The dad takes the mic.

And if I could just say a few words. That's a lot of money, but I think we can do better. Oh, okay. My father-in-law took her over here. Who wants to match my donation of $1,000? A couple people raised their hand. There we go. All right.

Okay. Now I'll add in another 500. Who will match me at 500? More hands go up. All right. Okay. Now I'll add in another 500. Who will match me at 500? More hands go up. All right. Wow. $25 million. Who's going to match me?

Okay. I'm sorry. No, Liz, this is actually unacceptable. Wait. Who the hell isn't going to match $25 million? Sorry. I know we have billionaires in here. Tucker, Tucker.

I know because I checked the guest list. We've raised a lot of money, Tucker, please. Not enough. If you don't raise $25 million, you're a failure. Listen, I'm a classic dad. So if I'm with somebody that I care about, I'm going to fight for them, even if they don't want me to. We're not together. He's just accompanying me to the stage.

We're a package deal. And guess what else? If no one's going to put up $25 million, why don't you all go home and not give any cash? No, I would love, we still have the wonderful $6.7 million that we've raised. I think everyone's saying here

we have an incredible band coming up to perform a little bit after this. Oh, no, I told the band to go home. I actually have a dad rock band that I play with and they're coming through later. We're going to do a couple of Genesis covers. Do you like Sue's studio? Jason, Jason, can you get up here, please?

I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to help you. Jason, please, can you please wrangle your father? He's ruining the entire night. You emasculated me all night. You made me feel like shit. The Rush t-shirt? What the hell was that? Your dad made you feel like shit. Your dad made you feel like shit. I feel like celebrating. He goes in to kiss you.

Oh, God. Oh, no um tucker this is incredibly inappropriate was it because you don't like pda let's all right we can go to the garage i am your daughter-in-law i am married to your son the garage jesus christ you've been flirting with me all night i'm a single dad. I'm a widower. I know. Can we not do this on stage in front of all of these people, all these incredibly generous donors who I'm sure will be staying the rest of the night to give all of your hard-earned money. Am I right?

The valet guy comes up to you. Hey, we're a little bit overloaded because everyone's leaving at once. Just wanted to know that there might be some angry people in the next couple seconds Tucker Jason let's go right now alright should we take a break yeah

and we're back this is a one-star review. Of? This is of the Club Room Men's Classic Slash Regular Fit Performance Easy Care Oxford Dress Shirt from Macy's. I'm sorry? Easy Care Oxford Dress Shirt from Macy's. Okay. This is from Newport Blue.

Do you want to give them a first and last name? For Newport Blue? Yeah. That's their username. Unless you think that's their real name. No, it's not their real name. Because their real name is Amber Flea.

One star. The title is a dish rag. Jesus. One wash and this thing is a dish rag. Jesus. One wash and this thing won't fit to dry your car. I even had it dry cleaned with heavy starch and it's still a rag. Seriously, save your money and buy something else. These shirts aren't worth five bucks. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, man, that is a dish rag. Like you're complaining, you're trying to, we can't take returns if you think this is an Oxford. This is a Bed Bath & Beyond. I'm just saying it fits like a rag. Yeah, because it is one. I know you guys are hardworking people. I'm not trying to come in here and get y'all fired. I think that's exactly what you're doing because I know.

I'm just saying I need something to wear to my nephew's graduation. And this isn't going to cut it. This isn't going to cut cut it i'd rather wear a literal rag than this rag yeah look peter i know that i'm dating your ex and you're not over her i know because she told me when you tried to break into her house i was there so to show up at this my place of work and try to complain about trying to wear a dishrag is kind of a low blow and a weird way to get me fired slash embarrass me publicly i guess what is it you actually need what gets you out of the door today why you i'm really attractive

my dick is big and honestly I make a ton of money. And I'm funny. At this Bed Bath & Beyond? I own the bitch. And my family has generational wealth. I just don't have a lot of passions. Listen, man, I'm sorry. No, you're not.

I'm not. No, I'm not. You caught me. You caught me. Oh, Carol wanted someone with a huge dick and generational wealth. Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not that guy. I'm just Peter, okay? And yeah, this is an actual rag. And I did try and wear it as a shirt. I got a little drunk last night. I had a monster energy spiked with some Malibu rum, baby, so that's how I'm doing. And sure, I might have tried to break into her place. I might

have tied the rug around my fist, punched through the window, but the rag wasn't thick enough. It was really thin. So you can see I have still a lot of glass shards in this hand, man. And I don't want to go to the hospital because then I'm going to have some splaining to do, Lucy. Some mansplaining to do?

Like, Lucy, you got some splaining from I Love Lucy. See, man, you're not even fucking cultured. Do you like anything? I've seen I Love Lucy. I just thought you said mansplaining. Oh, my God. Now you're mansplaining, mansplaining to me. Holy shit, dude. you're a man this is

crazy that hey fire this guy fire this guy that's not gonna work the manager comes over there's a problem over here you should fire this guy sorry i just like i'm just gonna cut right to the chase really really you'll do it uh yeah you you're gone. You're gone, Adam. Are you kidding me? He didn't even tell you why. Look, this is my ex's ex. Sorry, this is my girlfriend's ex. And he's just trying to get me gone. I'm telling her. I'm telling her you called her

your ex. She blocked your number. When you text her, she doesn't get the notifications. Give me your phone. No. Give me your phone. No. No. Get off me, dude. No, dude no dude back off man i i backhand your face but the shards still in my hand cut your face of course give me your phone fine carol hey no no no don't hang up don't hang up don't hang up fuck me you know excuse me what is this some kind of laurel and hardy duo sorry i'm a television producer and you guys have a great rapport oh well no i just uh i cut my hand so that's just

kind of where that came from that's funny shit really yeah here here's my card you should come pitch warner brothers oh my god we're revamping this in the wb oh my god cut to them in a pitch Really? Yeah, here. Here's my card. You should come pitch Warner Brothers. Oh, my God. We're revamping this in the WB. Oh, my God. Cut to them in a pitch meeting. Hey, stay out of my way in there. No, you stay out of my way. You stay out of my way, man.

This is my big break, okay? This is my big break. As soon as I'm the EP, I'm going to fire your ass. They both come in. They both trip at the same time because they both trip each other. Oh! Hit their head on the desk. The executive.

I haven't laughed that hard in decades. I don't care what you're pitching. You're on prime time. Give me your phone again. I need to tell Carol. I need to tell Carol. Give me your phone. I don't have her number anymore.

I got a new phone because people started hitting me up because of our Hollywood success. I left Carol in the dust. You're still thinking about Carol? We're going to be millionaires. Everything I do is for carol this is why i'm here this is i do everything to get her back and if you can't see that then the world can't see me i'm out fine i'll do it myself mr executive i'll have one show please with one showrunner oh sorry man it a package deal. It has to be you guys together or nobody.

What? Peter! They run outside. He catches them in the parking lot. It's raining. What, man? This is going to sound crazy. But in these couple hours of us bickering and flying to Los Angeles,

I feel like maybe we're better friends than I was with Carol. You were just her friend? No, but like you want to date your friend too. Like you don't, otherwise it's just sex. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, I got that. I got that. I got that.

What if you did everything in your life for me instead of her? No, you don't want that. You don't want me chasing you around and making hijinks just to get your attention and get your love. You don't want that from old Peter. No way. Unless you do want that. Actually, yeah, that sounds horrible. No, no, no.

Please, please, please. All right. I'm going to go get an agent and figure something else out. I tried grabbing your face again. Cut your face. Oh, dude. I'm sorry. Get the glass out of your hand.

I'm trying. No, you're not. I'm not. Get the glass out of your hand. I'm trying. No, you're not. I'm not. Your next review. It is four. Amazon Essentials Women's Classic Fit Long Sleeve Button Down Oxford Shirt. Three stars.

From Linda. Carlisle. Linda Carlisle. Three stars. Scratch that. Okay. Carlyle of Miss Mitt Toys. Miss Mitt?

Yeah. Not even Miss. No, Miss Mitts Toys. She was my elementary school music teacher. Linda. Say it. I'm trying. Say it. I'm trying. Say it.

Linda Carlisle's of Mismit Toys. Correct. Absolutely right. Fine. Three stars. Very average. Okay. Okay, shirt.

Nothing special. Looks rumpled new, so we'll look rumpled always. She's Eeyore. She's Eeyore. So we'll look rumpled always. An Eeyore so we'll look rumpled always hey doc i know my baby is 20 minutes old but can you just like take it back what's that my baby he won't stop crying and that's this is how it's gonna be oh my god i'm in for a long life of pain can you i just can you just no no

the baby doesn't get i mean it'll stop crying in like a couple minutes and then you know it'll cry on and off but it's usually just you know a way of them signaling to you that they need something or that something's wrong i wish it came out well i don't know about anyone else's but this one he came out crying so that's every baby ever that've ever delivered. So that just kind of goes to show that I think that's what it's going to be. And so I don't want it anymore. I would rather not have it. Did you do any research on babies? Babies?

That's what we're talking about. They're supposed to be little bundles of joy. Correct. Mommy's little guy. And this one came out upset. that's what we're talking about they're supposed to be little bundles of joy you know mommy's little guy and this one came out upset and so i can already see down the line that's what it's gonna be i don't i didn't get a fun one so i'm just gonna try again um that baby was in a womb for nine months and that was its only existence until now so i think if you were forcibly moved to an entirely different climate area you don't

know anyone you don't know how to talk you'd be crying too listen all i'm saying and i never say this you shouldn't be a parent i'd like to try again i would like a redo did you hear because i i did hear that and i'm gonna say i will be the best parent but not to this one because i it's like i can already just see so cut to her having her second child i can't it's i know that i can't help like you're gonna have a baby regardless but it sucks that you're having a second what did you do the first one the first one um i just kind of let him roam free like you let him crawl around your house or he started in the house and then he just kind of found his way.

I'm going to have to report you to child services for that instance. Let's see how you're doing with this one. How do you like this baby? Aw, she's smiling. That's great. That's great. If she's smiling now, it's never going to... Oh, and she's crying.

And she's crying. Okay. Damn it. I really thought I had hit the nail on the head with this one. You were yelling at her that she was smiling. That's probably why. I thought that this one would be it. Damn it. Fuck me. Okay. Damn it. I really thought I had hit the nail on the head. You were yelling at her that she was smiling. That's probably why. I thought that this one would be it. Damn it.

Fuck me. Okay. Third try's a charm? Nope. No. Do you have time for one more? I do. This is five stars for the same one.

The Easy Care Macy's Oxford. Okay. One star from Sharon. Osborne. Sharon Osborne says, ordered this shirt on sale because it was labeled Easy Care. This is categorically false. This is a must iron shirt. Easy Care means you can wash it, toss it in the dryer, promptly pull it out and hang it

and you can wear it and you're not too picky about a few wrinkles. This shirt was incredibly wrinkled straight out the dryer don't label it easy care if it's not very annoyed hey man uh i just bought a car from you guys i don't remember if you uh remember me uh a couple weeks ago you said that i I asked you for the simplest car to maintain, the cheapest car to maintain. Yes, yes. That's right, that's right, that's right. Oh my God.

Yeah, you are the busy single dad. I remember you saying the last thing I need on my plate is to worry about this car right now. Exactly. I need to get from point A to point B. Tony, nice to see you, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's your name? Because that's not my name. Sorry, yeah. Tony. I forgot my hands. I'm Tony. Nice to see you, man. And I'm so sorry, your name is?

Jetty. Jetty. Jetty. Yes, Jetty. What can I do for you, man? No, I'm glad that you're in such a good mood. I just like, it's broken down on the side of the road once a week since I've had it. Oh my God, that's terrible.

You're sure this is a new car? It is brand spanking new it is like right off of the conveyor belt like delivered straight to this dealership to your hands something that i realized i thought this was a ford but upon further inspection after the first time it broke down i looked at the logo and it says fjord yes it is a fjord googled it to see if it you know where there was like a Fjord dealership that did service because apparently this one doesn't. No, we do not.

We sell them, but we do not service them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I found out that the reason for that is that all of the parts are held in one warehouse. Yes. In, yeah, Greenland. Sorry? Greenland. Yes, in Greenland.

That's right. Not even where the Fjords are. No. What can I do for you? I mean, do you guys buy pre-owned? Like, can I sell this to the dealership to sell to someone else? This is fully new. We sell only fully new, fully functioning, easy to use, point A to point B cars.

And so if you have a car that doesn't seem to be easy to use, point A to point B, then we actually cannot take that from you. I think you'd probably fare better going to a used car dealership. I know a couple of buddies of mine run one down the street. You know, they give you a really, really competitive price for that. But unfortunately, I can't take a little piece of shit car. Sorry. Pardon my French. I can't take that little piece of shit car.

I don't hear anything you just said because it's been three and a half weeks since I bought this. You said that you only sell easy care, point A to point B commuter cars. Yes, I do. If any of these cars drive off the lot for three weeks, you would say that it's a piece of shit. So that means maybe don't sell these. We sell impeccable new cars. We sell Lambertinis. We sell Fccable new cars. We sell Lambertinis. We sell Figats.

We sell Prezis. What was that last one? Prezis? Priuses. Prezis. All right. We sell the top cars on the market right now, like your Fjord. And I am so, so sorry that yours ended up being a piece of shit,

but that actually is not how it came in. And so I can give you a bunch of recommendations. I can give you some quotes for some other guys down the street. Yeah, I guess I'll check out the used car dealership and see if they have like a real car company car that I could buy. Also, what an eclectic group of parody cars. You have a Ford Focus, sorry, Fjord Fjokas. Fjord Fjokas, thank you. You have a

Yoyota Prius. And then you have this Lambertini Murcieligo. Legal. Paralegal. What's the address of this other place? Cut to him there. Hey man, what can I do for you?

Sorry, I'm all greased up. They call me Grease Monkey down in the shop. I'm just covered in oil. Nope, I can't do this. I walk away. imagine if someone came up to you you didn't get a word you're like I'm a grease monkey they call me that cause there's back

I can back it up with facts look how oily I am yeah I'm not around for this should we do our last segment Back it up with facts. Look how oily I am. Yeah, I'm not around for this. Should we do our last segment? This shook me all week long. Obviously, the gimme kind of what shook me is like, who's my crush this week? And we could say Anthony Ramos.

We could do that whole song and dance. But I'm not going to go down that road. What I, what road I am going to go down is, you know, there's a feeling that I crave. There is a thing that I want in my life, metaphysically. And it is the feeling of being like, oh, this is my spot. This is my local neighborhood spot. They know me here. I know them. They know my order. You know, I'm a regular. I'm a local. This is my this is my joint. Pre-COVID, I was real close to having that at a coffee shop down the street. Then, of course, it was everything shut down. Like the the all the employees started to know my name and i knew theirs and uh had some great rapport and i felt really confident like this is my joint man this is where i come to get my latte and i get my haunt i get my and then that was no more um because of

a global pandemic and we're still in a pandemic but you but now with restrictions easing in Los Angeles and with that waxy-vaxy, I am on the hunt for that same feeling. I am on the hunt for that haunt. I'm haunting. I'm haunting. I want to haunt it down. I want to haunt the haunt. I feel good. I feel good about the one that I'm doing now because I'm starting to see it's like i need i need to go

there enough to like know who's working there and i'm like okay i know the shifts that people are on it's like i'm seeing a lot of the same people working there i hope they recognize me we've all been wearing masks so they very well might not but i went there today to get some coffee and i was wearing the shirt that i'm wearing right now which actually a listener of ours sent to us sent to me um cousin greg drinking champagne on um the yacht in succession season two and so in my mind i'm like okay this is like a statement shirt i bet they would remember me because i've been in there multiple times wearing this shirt um and the gal who was checking me out today i don't know if she recognized me but i recognized her um the guy yesterday it was my first time seeing him he rang me up at the coffee window and he

complimented the color of my nails and i really appreciated that because i wasn't too sure about the color and so getting that validation from a stranger was nice i'll get to say what's shaking me is uh that feeling that i thought was long gone sure it's coming back holy shit it's coming back and i am going to be the queen of the scene and of the bean that coffee that that java stuff um anyway i want people to know me uh i want to see and be seen by the same mean men. What about you? What's shaking you, Buffy? I got a robe. Oh, my God.

Should we thank some VI podcasts? Wait, is it? Tell me more about it. I don't want to. I got a robe, and I think that says it all. Step out of the shower straight into a Terry home. A Terry home? Big thank you to Eric Carrico.

Adam Shea. Agent Michael Shea. A co at the tender age of 48. Alan, PhD in hymnology. Alex Witt. Alexa, play Boogie Woogie Beats. Alvar Wallstrom Lindell. Anthony Amadeo.

Austin Fruston, a Cuckston Cakeston.ad hild brian dodd chuck chaston bales christian side hugs for purity cluff connor hennigan kirk great sure the gray virus is deadlier than covid because it's a great name damian kirk my all-time least favorite nephew. Dorian Randall. And I really hope that's, yeah, that's his real name. New patron. Dr. Bob Buell, MD. Eric is too scared to talk in Zoom parties, but not on his podcast, Lost in Narration Crust.

Fancy Octopus. Gabriel Castaneda. New patron. New patron. Gray Danger Zone Rider. How's that for a cool last name? Rider with a Y. Gray is honestly the coolest name

minus Tyler. How am I even supposed to compete? Thanks, Mom. Real fucking original. Hallie, hashtag I stand with my twin gray. Hashtag I love you, Eric Crest. Hi, Jeffrey. Hi, Riley. Holly. Hunter B. Isaac. Isaac. Isaac Puff, old patron.

And it's not even Puff. It's Jesse Tipton. That's the funniest one yet. Isaac Puff, new patron. Jack Kwan, new patron. The prodigal son, Jackson Hansel. Jake the Snake Raddiff. Jake Ullman.

Jamie Poncia. Jared. Jared K. Jasper Jeffrey James Hoffman. Jive Gosley. Caleb Luster. Kinsey Owes. Laura Brennan.

Lauren Malang. Maggie Anderson. New patron, Malik. Mark Priest. Matthew Nizama. Michael Begle. Nate Porteous. New patron. Malik. Mark Priest. Matthew Nizama. Michael Begle. Nate Porteus. New patron.

Fuck off. Nolan Murphy's employed, but he's still an absolute failure. His promposals got rejected two years in a row. In a high school loser? That's horrible. Nothing sometimes. Pat Scott. New patron?

Phoebe. Oh, yeah. New patron. Phoenix McVernon. Rooster Williams. S-pider. Spider-pider. Spider-pider-biter.

Sam Adams. Sam Armstrong. Sarah Kilda. Slick Ricky. Space Ant. Spencer. The Great Tuesday Night is ready to rumble. Willing and able to wax Jeff's grundle. What do you mean able? You just put wax on somebody and rip it off. This vagabond horse is longing to nay-nay.

Bad. Will Benitez. Xander Madsen. Yara Bouchard. Yasmeen David. And Greg Berg. Nice. Oh my god. He made it all special characters Yasmin David. And Greg Berg. Nice. He made it all special characters that makes it look

like it's upside down. You guys, that was really unhinged today. I love it. Really good round. Really good. Thank you guys so much for listening. You can find more of our shit on Instagram. You can find Jeff on Instagram at

Jeffrey James and on Twitter at JeffBoyardee. You can find the show at ReviewReview on Instagram and Review can find Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at JeffBoyardee. You can find the show at ReviewReview on Instagram and ReviewReviewShow on Twitter and r slash ReviewReview on Reddit. At Riley Anspa on Instagram, at Riley Coyote on Twitter. We'll see you guys again

next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of Review Review. We'll see you next time. Arriveder. Chee! Robe. Arriveder robe. That was a Hiddem Original.