Review Revue - Paste

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

This week on Review Revue: Geoff and Reilly explore the many intricacy's of PASTE while buying school supplies, giving each other the talk, and paying too much for a commodity.    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. What I wanted was to laugh at a pod I could listen to on my commute Like improv is dead, or if I were you. Mouths agape and minds aghast, my friends hear me say I'm doing chine. Dumbstruck when they say bye, and I reply, Arrivederci. No one talks to me anymore that's it wow that was a cover of flowers from hadestown that's fucking incredible evan lexell come coming in and uh again with another

theme song i think he sent in like three at this point that we've used beautiful evan he also oh this will be our his sixth theme song wow evan you're a champion you are single-handedly keeping this podcast going i don't know if you know that or not evan but you are this you are the only reason this podcast is still alive he also asked us if we want any specific songs or band parodied i i'm gonna lob up in too deep by some 41 great i don't know that one you do if you heard it um i'm trying to think of another one um um um um oh well okay anything from lake street dive um there's a song that i've wanted jeff and i to do a parody of for a long time and i think it's soon um but uh yeah anything from lake street but evan that was that was beautiful no one talks to me anymore gorgeous that was amazing it's tuesday uh-huh okay are you okay michael babarro it's tuesday at the time of recording and at the time release correct i

can't help but think that that's spooky spooky no it's just like that's kind of crazy how the stars not really huh makes you think makes me doesn't at all i miss fall i'm so over it being summer it's so fucking hot global fall's gonna be more hot september's worse here global warming's terrifying there are fires at the date of recording there are fires in london because it is so hot it's this is the coldest summer for the rest of oh now's not the time to freak out about climate change by the way anyway uh what's new with me i started the bear i watched the first episode of the bear new celebrity crush oh my god oh my god that's everyone hot that that's everyone well at first because i was like i was like seeing screen grabs on twitter and tiktoks and stuff and i'm like what's the hype

watched it i'm like oh yes chef i get it oh yes chef absolutely nothing is new i wish there was more to report my life is pretty much the same every week which makes me sad we love consistency i don't i'm a sadge that's true and you're sad i'm a sadatarius a sadatarius um yeah i nothing interesting at least um i got a nalgene nice i haven't had one since i was a kid what what inspired you well i went camping and my friend gave me his great big sir is my new favorite place uh it probably used to be new york slash still is top three is new york big sir tahoe but uh he let me borrow his now jean and i was like i want one of those it's. There's so many high-tech water bottles these days. And obviously it's good to keep things cold.

But there's just nothing better than one of these. Nothing in there right now. Yeah, I haven't even washed it. Yeah. But we're not here to talk about Nalgene. No.

We're here to talk about something much more dazzling than about Nalgene. No. We're here to talk about something much more dazzling than a Nalgene. Much more saucy. Not a sauce, unless. I texted Jeff, I'm like, what should we do for our solo episode? And Jeff just sends paste. Paste! So that's what we're doing today.

Old timey glue. Paste. I looked up on Amazon paste and I got like garlic paste, tomato paste, like hair gel. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for glue that doesn't come in a stick. Exactly. It comes in a jar.

It comes in a jar. It comes in a fucking jar paste we're talking about paste it's the taste you can feel taste is the paste you could feel paste is the taste you can feel paste is the taste you can feel yes so are you huffing glue what's happening uh currently i i did a couple before we pressed record but i'm not currently no okay so i've never used paste okay but but what about rubber cement you had to have used rubber cement uh i've used hot glue i've used like gorilla glue i've used Elmer's. You know Elmer Fudd? Yeah.

This is Elmer's fudge. So it's sort of like a chocolate paste. Ew. No. It's awesome. Telling someone something that they don't like and then just being like, oh, no. No. It's good.

No. No, I's good. No. No, I've never used that. You should. Have you ever used paste? Yeah, I've used rubber cement, which is a paste. Is it? I don't even know what that looks like. I can't believe you've never used rubber cement.

Let me look it up. I might. You definitely have. Hold on. Rubber cement. When did you use you like what did you use it on like a class project art projects for sure and that's actually that's it yeah art no i've never used it i i've seen it now i know what i know what it is but i've never used it no i would normally like a glue gun. I'm a hot glue gun kind of girl. But it's awful.

It gets everywhere and it just singes your hand. So this is probably the way to go. Not that I'm planning any crafting projects coming up. And you should. And you should. Yeah, I'm trying to figure

after finding these reviews I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate more paste into my everyday-est. Into my everyday-est and have a taste. Well, Daniel and I are moving in the near future. And so I'm thinking about what DIY projects I could include paste into. Yeah.

Yeah. And? I haven't come up with any yet because I just had the idea right now. We haven't been thinking about it. Nope. Would you like to kick us off with our first with a taste of paste this is for gain yes all-purpose stick flat paste i have the two of mine are for gain yes as well yeah which seems to be the only like modern paste this is from chris

you want to give chris a last name uh chris or a lace name chris laced ch a laced name? Chris Laced. Chris Laced. One star. Can't open the jar at all. It appears the glue seeped around the lid, permanently sealing it. Tried everything short of dynamite. Tried everything short of dynamite. Teacher in a teacher's lounge.

This is so messed up, guys. I have to pay for my own fucking school supplies. Sorry to curse. No, it's not right. I got this paste for the kids to use. And I don't know what happened to it in shipping, but it's like the glue seeped around permanently sealing the lid. I've tried everything short of dynamite.

What? I've tried everything short of dynamite, I said. Sorry. No, no, listen, we're all mad, right? I mean, it's like we don't get paid nearly enough. Yeah. We have to use our own funds to buy stuff for classrooms. That's not right.

I don't know if it fucking got like hot while it was shipping in the truck, but it melted and I swear to God. What did you try? I mean, like, did you just try kind of like running it under hot water, like seeing if that would loosen it a little bit? I like tried to do it with my arms and hand and then like, yeah. So you did try the hot water? Well, I tried the hot water.

It didn't really work either. I'm like fucking. Aaron, Aaron, you got to breathe, man. You try. There's no way you get it open. It's fucking glued shut. I promise you. Gets it in one try.

No, I bet you loosened it. I mean, if you're telling me that you tried everything short of dynamite, like, what else did you do? I tapped it with a knife. Okay. Well, you know what? I bet you loosened it for me. I bet it was really, really tight on there.

So now you have it. So now you can go do the project with the kids. Yeah, I'm strong. Yeah, yeah, yes. Do you want to see how many push-ups I can do? You know what? I have to grade these papers. One, two, three.

Knock, knock. Hey, Principal Evans here. I know that you guys often... What's... I could have done more, but then our boss walked in. I am your boss. I was talking to her. Okay, okay.

Yes, sorry, Principal Evans. I... Arm wrestle, Principal. What? Let me show everybody how strong I am. Oh, Aaron, I don't think that is necessary. I think everyone here is trying to work. Yes, we are.

You know what? That's great. We are. Are you insinuating that I'm a chicken? You are a fowl if you don't arm wrestle me, sir. I respect you. You can pay me less. Right. I have to meet with a pay me less. Right.

I have to meet with a couple parents in my office. I just wanted to come in and see if Angela... Yes, I will have those reports on your desk this week. I know that plagiarism is a huge red flag. No, no, in the school. Yep, that's right. All right, so I'm going to go do that, deal with things that are actually important in the school. Yep, that's right. Alright, so I'm gonna go do that, deal with things that are actually important in the school.

And Aaron, you are still on the floor. Yeah, planking. He's not. Right. Alright, I guess get back to work, and Aaron, if you're not back in your classroom in the next ten minutes, I will absolutely be docking your pay. Okay, well, you know what?

I was trying to get paste open for the kids and I loosened it. And then she was able to finish it. It was basically enough. To what? She was able to. She got the lid off, but it's only because of everything else I did. Okay. That's great. That's great.

That's actually none of my. I don't care. As long as you are teaching the kids what they need to be taught. Yeah, I should go back to the classroom. Thank you for opening the jar. Yeah, no, of course. Namaste, principal. Cut back to the classroom.

All right, guys. I got the paste open so we can do our collages. Oh, that's funny. We don't want to do anything! We just want to run around! Yeah, I know, but I you know what? I had to get the paste open so just if you guys could

One kid is quietly sticking his hand in the paste, putting it in his mouth. Yeah, don't eat that. I'm just God, why can't I just like... It's hard for me to even stand up to kids. We don't respect you! Guys, come on! We don't respect you. Guys, come on. We don't respect you. One kid trying to say it, but his mouth is shut from the face.

Guys, come on. They still don't. We don't respect you. I can't yell louder than that. Knock, knock. Aaron, I couldn't help but hear chanting through the hall, we don't respect you, we don't respect you. No, I'm just trying to teach them that, like, you know, not every authority figure is important.

Sorry? No, I just, because I want them to think for themselves. Did you just swear in front of the kids, too? I didn't. It was under my breath and only you heard it. So, uh... This isn't the job for me. In my office.

I know. I know. Thank you job for me. In my office. Five minutes. I know. I know. Thank you for letting me. The kid tried to go. What's wrong with him? He ate the paste. In my office now. Yeah.

Okay. I thought I was going to be able to like take a stroll. Cut to the office. So we obviously know what needs to happen. You need to fire me or something. Yes. Yes. Not or something.

That is. Well, I'd be open to other options. And I would not be. Listen, we brought you on. I never learned how to stick up for myself. That is the issue here. That's not the issue here. You don't tell me as your boss.

You don't tell me what the issue is. Wait. I am telling you. Yeah. No. The issue at hand is that I'm still learning how to be strong. No, the issue is that you're a bad teacher and you don't know how to control a classroom, right? I think.

Wait, this is weird. I think we should switch seats yeah they do it that rolly chair is kind of going slowly around yeah this is gonna work for me um Why don't you go back to your classroom, and I'll sit here in my office alone doing whatever job that you do. Which, what do you do? I meet with parents, and I take care of administrative tasks. Okay, well, I'll deal with the parents then. Cut to later. He picks up the phone hi yes

miss is gilroy um just calling uh because uh you know you're one of the new parents at the school and i just want to sort of see how thomason was faring um what an unexpected... You sound a lot different than you did when we came to interview for the school. Yes. No, this is I'm the new principal. Oh, gosh. What happened to Principal Evans? He cowered under my newfound power.

Oh. I've sort of been figuring out how to stick up for myself. And yeah. I mean, how do you feel about power mrs gilroy um i mean how does anyone feel about power uh we all want to have it we all can't don't have enough you know i don't know i feel silly i i i'm sorry i'm in a tizzy this is so funny mrs gilroy where are you right now laney please call me laney um i'm home honey who are you talking about what did he ask you he is he's a weak man what lady lady can we talk about this you will call her mrs gilroy

and i will call her laney laney i want you to lift him up emotionally or physically physically pick up your husband i'll try you'll do it i do he's like all right now would a powerful man be able to be lifted off the ground like a four-year-old? No. No, he wouldn't. I'll see you in my office tonight at 7.30. Yes, you will. Actually, make that 8.30.

Are you busy at 7.30? No. I'm free as a bird, but you will be in my office at 8.30, and I will be there at 8.40. Okay. What does this mean? Lainey, what's happening? I have somewhere to be at 8.30. Are you leaving me?

Still holding him up. You'll stay with him, but you'll be in my office. Oh, just kidding. I'm not leaving you. Oh, oh, okay. Well, okay. Cut to later. She's there at 8.30. It's so quiet you can hear the clock ticking.

Oh my gosh, I'm nervous. Looking around the door. Well, he did say 840, but I can't leave because he told me to be here at 830. I'm just sitting and waiting, wishing. He walks in Hello Oh hi Did I surprise you?

No I'm just So many duties What have you been up to? Just making my rounds You know how it goes Isn't that the custodian's job or the janitorial staff's to be honest Mrs. Gilroy

I don't know what a principal does and I did want to have sex with you right now but I can't figure out how to be and it's not a comfortable thing I think I want to go back to being weak that's disgusting I know I'm leaving i know i pick you up you are not a strong man i know uh all right should we take a quick break yes everyone come back at 8 40 this is from k kutzer what k kutzer every kiss begins with kutz every kiss begins with k. Kutzer. Every kiss begins with Kutz.

Every kiss begins with Kutz Kutzer. Five stars is for the same paste. Yep. The title is Great Glue. This glue is perfect for what I was doing, which was sticking paper and card. It has a consistency of condensed milk. It dries quickly, but not so quickly

that you can't move items if you stick them in the wrong place. I found a knife to be the best method of spreading the glue. I was just, I was just, um, I was just sticking paper and card. I was just, uh, yeah. So that's what I was doing. Dad. Um, so, I guess you don't need to be in my room anymore okay it was pretty clear you were jerking off but uh i I will come back later.

Later. Collage. Okay. I'm making a dream board. Yeah. A vision board. A collage. Yeah. The next morning.

Dollhouse. Constructing a dollhouse in here. Later. House of Cards. Not the series, but making making doing the activity all right got any more popsicle sticks i'm making a cabin cut to the dad in therapy i just i want to have a frank open conversation with him about sex and my dad never did that with me. And I feel like that's important. But Jillian, he hasn't stopped masturbating for truly eight days. I'm not joking.

I'm not being hyperbolic. He hasn't eaten. He's gone to school. And he's come back. And before school and after school. And every day on the weekends all day, he is self-completing over and over. And now I'm worried about him. But I don't want to make him feel shamed.

I just, I'm honestly impressed. I think that's healthy. I mean, here's the thing. How old is he? What? 13, 14? He's 10. Oh, geez.

Well, you know, some kids develop sooner than others. And this might be a time where your son is finding out what it means to explore his own body. And I think it's great that you don't want to shame him. How have you been trying to initiate conversations? Have you been pretty upfront and open and honest about it? And he's shying away. Like, what's the dynamic that's going on? The dynamic is I truly go, I knock on his door and he yells out.

He's trying to, like, play it off like he's making art. And he'll yell, you know, he's he'll yell you know like street art you know like fucking uh uh sculpture you know so i and i know he's not making art and i but i truly haven't even been able to open the door well um what if you asked him to come to you. It's. It's so fast. I will try that this week. But I will say that it is incredibly fast. I don't even say anything. I can't even get a word in the edgewise.

It's knock, knock, knock. Or better yet. Try when he's on his way to school. Or right when he comes home from school. Try and maybe grab him before he. No, don't grab your child. But maybe try and get to him before he heads off to his room. Cut to the sidewalk.

He gets off the school bus. Hey, man. Just thought we could. Baker! Michelle! Okay, now we really need to talk. You cannot cut to therapy. He, I, I don't know if he's doing it on the bus.

I don't know if he starts as soon as he gets off the bus. I haven't talked to my son in two weeks. Well, is, is, is, is Rachel in the the picture anymore rachel is she's on a sabbatical i see so it's just it's just you two at home yeah rachel's like fucking taking off work and family it's actually really i kind of also wanted to talk about that she's she's living with her parents but not because there's no issues between us i think she just like, yeah. Have you tried talking to her about that? It feels like you have a lot of conversations that have yet to be had, and I can imagine that's really, really frustrating.

Cut to him calling her. Hey, honey. I'm playing dominoes. Got it. Cut to therapy. So my wife and my son are masturbating chronically and obsessively. It's gotten to a point where I can't even do it myself because I am so fraught and worried about my family.

At this point, it has to be a me thing, right? I'm starting not to believe that it's just my growing boy. It is also my wife who is, again, I have not talked to her in six years. And you know what? Time is up. I'm so sorry about, I have not talked to her in six years. Oh, and you know what? Time is up. I'm so sorry about that. We're only 43 minutes in. I thought I had seven minutes.

I am actually playing Monopoly right now. I have a set time to play Monopoly. Next week therapy? Game of life. Am I like, what's the issue? Is it that I'm too sexy and everybody needs to masturbate around me? No. Oh, God, no.

Yeah, it's not that. Yeah, I wish it was that. You're like, really? Damn it. That's the only way this could have been cool. That's not the issue. You are not so sexy that everyone who even is around you can't help but touch themselves. I didn't think it was, but what if?

But why not? Why not me? Why not me? This is one star from, their username is perfectly imperfect and loved. Name? Mark. One star from Mark.

I paid too much for this glue. Welcome to Michael's. How can I help you today? Are you making a purchase? Are you looking to return? Return. All right. What is your item?

Please let me just input some stuff into the machine. Elmer's glue, rubber cement. I didn't open it, so I know that it qualifies for a return. I'm upset because the last time I was here, one of your associates over fucking sold this thing. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I know you're upset, but can we please keep our language clean? We have a lot of families coming in for craft supplies.

I can't promise anything. I'm livid because I paid $80 for this. $80? Yeah, right? I know that that's way more. That was really marked down. He sold it. That's weird.

Huh. Hold on. Let me just check. Wow. Is there a shortage? Is it a supply chain thing? That's an amazing deal. It's a mix of inflation, supply and demand.

A lot of people are wanting rubber cement these days. So you actually got quite the steal. So what seemed to be the issue with the glue? It was overpriced. This should be $3. Sir, it's 2022. What does that mean? It means, have you seen how much a gallon of gas is?

Yeah, this isn't affected by that. I'm looking at it on Walmart's website right now. 1262. Oh, well, let me see. Sorry, can you zoom in on the picture? Yeah, that's from the batch from April. And this is June's batch. The formula that they used in June is astronomically better than April.

Is there gasoline in this? It is 97% gasoline. Then I want to return it for that reason. But you didn't try the glue. If I try it, I can't return it. Just take it back. I mean, If I try it, I can't return it. Just take it back. I mean, I'll take it,

I guess. Not you, the store. Oh, but I mean, I kind of... Hey, Lacey. Yeah? Are we...

How are we doing on glue? Like, would I be able to cop one of these? Oh, is that the rubber... Is that the June batch of the rubber cement? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the diesel one. There aren't v vintages it should be one same recipe the entire time oh yeah girl

take it girl take what you can get um yeah sir i will absolutely take this glue off your hands great okay but if i may i i feel kind of guilty about it because i just want to ask one more time are you sure you want to part with this yeah well i mean now it seems like a commodity a little bit so whatever yeah take it but like i wonder if i could sell it for more well if i was giving it to you i'd want to give it in good faith that you would use it because when i tell you sir this is going to be the best glue you will have ever used in your life and so if you want to give it to me that's fine and i'll happily take it but i would just be remiss to not really i'll take it and i'm going to use it i promise cut to him in fact i'll take a hundred more oh my god cut to him like 10 years later at a fancy dinner party in an incredible mansion

no i mean it was a good time i guess right time right place i got in uh eighty dollars eighty dollars a jar no oh yeah you are so brilliant that was an amazing haul and it paid for this little pied-a-terre. Oh, don't be so modest. It's quite grand. I mean, it's just gorgeous. But, Graham, you were talking about how you made your fortune. Well, I made my fortune. Well, you see, back in my day, I didn't have to do much.

I was just born quite wealthy. And so you had the foresight that I did not. Oh. Cool. That story sucks, Graham. Sorry? No, it's fine. I just miss my poor friends.

You guys are boring. What are you talking about? We have been admiring your salt and pepper shakers all evening. I think that's quite exciting. Not really. I don't even know why I got them. I just have so much, yeah. Hmm.

You guys can finish dinner. I'm going to go visit an old friend. Cut to him back at the office, Max, or whatever. Walks in. Hello, welcome to Michael's office, Max. You don't remember me, do you? You remember when Elmer's rubber cement was like only $80 a jar?

Oh my God, those were the days. I bought you out of your entire stock. You bought 100 bottles bottles oh my goodness millions of dollars yeah you resold them oh yes i shouldn't have said that huh because you sold it to me in good faith uh i realized though if you could ignore what i just said that the last time i felt not even good just normal was talking to you before i made my money i was wondering if you could ignore what I just said, that the last time I felt not even good, just normal was talking to you before I made my money. I was wondering if you would maybe want to come. Sorry?

Yeah, sorry. If you wanted to hang out. And then maybe, yeah. I don't know if I could do that. Okay. Because you broke my trust. Right. That is a really bad place. Okay. Because you broke my trust. Right. That is a really bad place to start.

I sold them to you. I gave it back to you thinking that you would take it and, well, I don't know, make something beautiful. I could take you and make something beautiful. No, no, sir. I don't want to bed you tonight. Okay. What about wed? I'm not going to marry you tonight. Okay, well, what about wed? I'm not going to marry you.

Hell of a promise, isn't it? Hell of a promise, yeah. Listen, if you could prove to me that you could use that glue for something beautiful, then maybe, because I think you wasted something that could have been really spectacular. Takes one of the jars because he brought it with him. Douses his eyelids with it. Oh, no. Closes his eyes and holds them there.

All right. That should seal them for a couple days. I want you to know that I'm into you for who you are and not how you look. And that's pretty damn beautiful. Do you think I'm ugly? And you don't want to look at me? No, shit. If that's what you're getting from this, I want... Ah, they're not coming apart.

No, I'm trying to say that you're also beautiful, but I want to get to know you on the inside. Ha! Ha! I can't fucking... There's gas in this. Ha! It's 97% diesel. You said 70.

No, I said 97. You said 70. She said 97. I was there. Lacey still works here. Yeah, I fucking do, bitch said 97. You said 70. She said 97. I was there. Lacey still works here? Yeah, I fucking do, bitch. A knife is the only way to open those puppies, honey. There's no way.

I have a little tiny little guy we could try opening. No, I'm gonna... I guess this is just it. Lacey, do you want to come? Sure. Cool, alright. Alright, cool, cool, cool. That's fine.

That can make me through the day. I think I'm just sad this week. Eyes glued shut. Do you want to come? Eyes wide shut. Eyes glued shut. Do you want to come? Eyes wide shut. Eyes glued shut. A man who leaves his fancy life to glue his eyes shut for sex. Yeah, this isn't anything, man.

But his grandma comes from generational wealth. Could be something there. It really could be. Let's do, should we do our last segment? Let's do it. This should be all

we want. Got a new car. I got a new car. Oh, you got the Subie? Got a new, I'm part of the Subie gang. I'm part of the subi gang i'm part of the subi gang i'm very excited camping or else you don't have a subaru i'm i'm so excited i'm so excited i've

been i've been dreaming about this car for a really long time um and i got it and i'm really really really really excited and very grateful and very happy and uh when we were in wisconsin with their with with daniel's family i was telling daniel's brother about how excited i am for my new car and i saw one i saw my exact color and and model and i point i'm like that's my car and daniel's brother's like oh nice well not that color though right and i'm like yeah that color that color, that exact color. And he's like, oh, no, that's so cool. But I'm very, very excited. I love it.

That's exciting. Yeah. I'm part of the Subaru life. Any Subaru tips or tricks or if anyone just wants to, like, get Subaru tattoos with me could be huge. You're going to get a Subaru tattoo? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That could be good. You should get it on the front of your body like it's uh and then on the back of your body too so that it's like your front like i'm a car yeah got it

uh what's been shaking me is releasing head gum again. It's been so much fun. Yeah. And one came out today. One will also come out the day that this episode of the podcast releases. Yes. So just plugging that and I also wanted to pull up a comment. Okay. I don't know why.

I thought that that would be fun. Comment from today's the 19th so off days interruption. Interrupting interruption. I don't need to do this. I don't know why I did this. No do it. We're here. Alright. Here we go.

I'm reading them all. It's just you silently reading the comments this is fun somebody said as soon as i saw the who i knew they couldn't get through the line that one that bit jeff jeff's just started improvving the. And that took us so long to get through. Avi, our DP, was behind camera just, like, dying. We were all dying. That shit was so fucking funny. Yeah. So that's been shaking me is filming those, writing those, editing them.

They've just been so much fun. Yeah. And if you guys haven't been watching those, get on it. What are you doing? We've released six of them, I think, so far. So shout out the Headcumbs sketches. Yeah. Should we thank...

I don't want to. Should we thank fucking patrons, VIPodcats? Yeah, let's get it over with. All right. Thank you to Two Weeks is a little ridiculous. This dude needs his dick revoked. That's right. I, Jeffrey Aronofsky, Jameth, and revoke Austin's

penis. Underscore Christian side hugs Kwok when he asks. Agent Michael Skarn. A co has been taken over by an unyielding ennui. It's a new era. You really, really shouldn't text. Or do.

Bob Buell is actually three badgers in a doctor's coat. Cam is being audited and that's not even a joke. The IRS is in a flock on my cock, man. Chuck. Connor Finnegan

didn't bother with the name this week. Just read Damien Kirk's and say I came up with it. Crosby, Stills, and Gash. Dakota just got suspended without pay pending investigation

so let's see how long you write out this Patreon subscription, buddy. Damien Kirk has memorized the first 192 digits of pie, but he still needs to go on a pilgrimage to learn what it is to come. Fancy Octopus. Freya. Jeff Puff.

Jeffrey Sames. So it's Jeffrey James, but he just kind of agrees with everyone without having his own opinion. That's not true. Natalie, Port Manchester United, Le Southern Comfort Whiskey, Le Coral Mountain, Rangeman, Shepard. Gray the Honeydew Honey Pie has never been hot nor sweet.

Hallie the Horribly Awesome is Gray's twin. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code JEFF for 20% off your Baldo purchase. Hey, Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the Headed Game Podcast, please? I eat spaghetti and heat balls. It's like spaghetti and meatballs, but instead of noodles, I eat the sun. I just want to say, apropos of nothing, that I spend all my earnings from this Patreon on donations to the Mike Feds 2024 campaign. Riley. I'm sorry, I had to say it.

I sincerely would like to apologize for the wolf. The epic wolf. I Venmo'd Jeff my rent money to pay for the subscription. I would really appreciate it if he could send it back. Thanks, new patron! Irish wrist washes. Keep them clean, y'all. Jake

Ullman. Jay is actually in the U.S. for a bit now, and the whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jesse Tipton. Joe, and for lack of a better term, well, Malazov. Jordan Fields. JP again. Should I try these celebrity joke names like the rest of the Brilliant Sheep? Caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep. Casper Bopasper. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Lucas Heinzel. Michael Begel. Nate Porteus has a

birthday soon and can cry if he wants to. Happy birthday, Nate. New patron. Nolan Murphy can't shake his lingering sadness. He'll reach out, but no one offers respite from his loneliness. Get fucked, nerd. Oh, hi, Mark. Well, priest. Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business through a Patreon name?

Come say that to my face at Smoke and Time on Main Island. Oh, so it sucks to advertise your business through your Patreon name? Come say that to my ass at Gale's Oils in the Vatican. and time on main island. Oh, so it sucks to advertise your business through your Patreon name. Come say that to my ass at Gail's oils in the Vatican. Oh, so it's lame to imitate someone's Patreon name on Patreon. Now come say it to my face at Gilk John. Pete skeet skeet Bradford.

Phoebe. Pride month is over. And so is James. Hashtag James Wagner is over. Quack. Raven Schmaven. Reese little Caesar's eater Bergman. Smooth Pete and the slammed gashes. So what is this like a job now

You're telling me I have to update my name more than once a year Thanks for not shouting daddy's birthday out April 1st came and went And y'all did nothing The dulcet tones of Jeffrey Sleep Moans And TJ Michael Beautiful work everybody Good shit

But let's really blow us away next episode um and actually if you're interested in the patreon if you're interested to get in on that patreon.com riley and jeff we have zardes we have live streams and most importantly we have a good fucking time right yeah riley sort of like mandates having fun which we have a good fucking time, right? Yeah, Riley sort of like mandates having fun, which sort of proves fun in general. We have a good fucking time. Yeah, it's always, everybody's always a little bit scared of her. You can find Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James,

on Twitter at JeffBoyRD. You can find the show on Instagram, Review Review, Reddit, r slash Review Review. And you can follow Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa, on Twitter at RileyCoyote. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. Arrivederci.

That was a hit gum original.