Review Revue - Petco

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

This week Alf and Reilly go to where the pets go and get into office humour, the origin of orangutangs, and mustard seeds.>>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

You were my Lego brick You built me up You built me up You were the scaffold Helping me to grow I did not know you would have to go I'm in a land without Legos. I live in my own land, doing my best to try and stand. Without you there to break my fall, I'm nervous of it all. But there's no more bricks to step on now

My feet can tread across the ground I wonder what you'd think of me Would you be proud? You were my Lego brick. You built me up. Wow. Another haunting one. So that was also from Lexal, who sent in last week's Over the Garden Wall theme.

Again, and by who sent in last week's theme, I mean sent in these themes in October of 2021. Not knowing they would be for April 2024. And I'll throw Jeff under the bus. This is at the time when Jeff was in control of playing the theme song. So I'm happy to blame him um but again uh so that was that was a callback guys if you're day ones that was a callback to the Legoland app where Jeff sang quote you are my Lego brick to

the tune of Regina Spector's Samson and so Lexus has decided to put some meat on those bones and make a sad song about Legos not exactly comedy but definitely not earnest don't know why jeff wouldn't have played that one um and then lexel says also if lexel i really hope that this podcast exists because lexel has asked us to shout out their podcast uh i'm gonna look it up start it uh it's called dungeons versus dragons this is dnd dnd dnd discussion podcast so thank you so much for sending that dn guys you know what we're gonna say dn we need more theme songs we need it i need theme songs like a pig needs mud i need theme songs like i need a lobotomy we need you all right, man? We need a stat. Are you all right, man? I want to be in bed. I want to be in bed. I'm on the first day of my period.

Oh, sorry. She gets periods. On the first day of her period, she had to record eight fucking podcasts. So sorry. Oh, sorry. But anyway,

that's how I'm doing. It's, you know, every month, it's just the first couple days knocks me out. And it is an experience that's only i'm doing it's you know every month it's just uh the first couple days knocks me out and it is an experience that's only unique to me um so i really revel in that um but uh what's new with me thank you so much for asking i'm in a mood i'm sorry i'm in a mood um we noticed i I, so at the time of recording, Taylor Swift's album, dual album of Tortured Poets Department has just dropped last night. And I wouldn't consider myself a Swifty.

I do enjoy a lot of her music. And I, part of me hesitates to be critical of Miss Swift's music on a podcast. Because it could ruin you. Years down the line, it could ruin you. What I will say is that, and this is a very, this is a common critique that a lot of her songs kind of sound the same. I'm not saying all of them do,

but a good, a lot of them do, but not all. So don't come at me saying like, oh, sorry, Karma is different from maroon obviously songs are different i love folklore i love evermore i love midnights i love lover those are my top four albums um that being said about uh this new album that i'm not fully done listening to yet the songs that don't sound the same as the other songs i love and that's what's amazing it's like when you have an album of a lot of songs i think it reads like it's like the poetry of it i think is really beautiful the actual music and you and i talked about this today the music does not match

the lyrics for me personally it doesn't match the excitement i mean i'll be honest when we were talking about this this morning i sorry really quick last thing when i read the songs as poems love them the music of this album is where it's a couple songs i will say i do like but um the lyrics i've been loving anyway what were you saying well i was just saying when we were speaking about this this morning i actually hadn't listened to any of it yet um i was referring sort of more to you know some of the last album really um but i still haven't listened to any of it and i don't know when i will you know i don't feel the rush the urge the like well if you're not listening to t swift what's new with you what what are you up to what am i doing if not listening to taylor swift yeah if you're not listening to T-Swift, what's new with you? What are you up to? What am I doing if not listening to Taylor Swift?

Yeah, if you're not listening to Tortured Poets Department, what are you doing? I'm listening to Cowboy Carter. What if we made that like our feud? What's like, I would say. If that would have been an easy, I have listened to. You would have dumped Taylor in a minute, in a second. I have listened to Ya Ya specifically more times than I'd care to admit from Cowboy Carter.

How many times would you care to admit? I will care to admit from cowboy carter how many times the way i will care to admit over like there was one day i was in the car i put on yaya it ended and i was so sad that yaya ended i put it on again of course wouldn't you know it ended a second time and wouldn't you know i thought well i still i'm still in the car i put i listened to the yaya three times in a row um in one sitting because it is yaya is my favorite song off of cowboy carter it the way i need i remember hearing it for the first time and crying because i thought i need to see this live so fucking badly some terrible news for you i know well exactly the thing is it's like the way

i need to see i mean the whole couple i need to see cowboy carter live just in general but the way i need to see yaya live specifically is like i could tear my own skin off and give it to the box office oh i don't think they want that i don't and they'll be like please don't we're sold out and the tickets are incredibly expensive they'll be like i'll give you my skin and they're like we don't want that i'm gonna be like but i need to see this they'll be like yeah you and everybody else you need to see it what do you what do you want what can i give you what what how would you like what what do i need to do you need to see y'all live like we need theme songs what's new with your ass um i'm really good mainly um i am everyone your voice really matches it's so everyone keeping score at home i'm able to eat solid food again and it and guess this i eat solid

guess this did you know that i eat solid food i eat solid food did you know that did you know that and it doesn't immediately leave my body. Did you know that? One root or another as a liquid. So that's kind of a positive. That's great. What was the first solid thing you started eating? Well, I was like.

Other than ass. Other than butthole. It was. I had fucking. I was like pad thai. Right. It's like noodley. Oh, you're playing with fire.

Well, and honey and honey yes I did I don't know what was wrong I really don't get ill like this I really don't I'm not I don't get tummy trouble I get a lung infection constant do you know what it was I still don't really know I mean I did make some questionable food choices food choices i made some questionable stroke on top i made some questionable food choices in the preceding three or four days but a bunch of other people i know were with me that whole time making the same questionable food choices and i was the only one who got madly ill and so i don't you. Well, but I don't get sick like this. I've got a I've got an iron tummy and an iron lung. Like I get sinus infections.

I get sore throats. I get bronchitis, laryngitis. I don't get stomach flu, food poisoning. These things don't normally happen to me, but it did. This is the first time I vomited as an adult without alcohol being involved okay i was gonna say for someone with your sordid history yeah well that's different that's different okay that was when i was drinking poison and my body was like you drank poison okay not you ate Chipotle. Well, hello. And I did have Chipotle.

And I did have Chipotle, like, the day before. And it's like, I hate to see it, but maybe. A friend of mine, because I went on Perfect Person with Jeffrey James recently, and I was talking about me having E. coli. And by recently, this will have been weeks ago by the time this comes out. Time is nothing. But a friend of mine, so, the perfect person,

Instagram, the day before the episode came out, posted about, like, you know, Riley talks about how he had E. coli on the Get Real segment. And I reposted that. And then my friend DM'd me, and she goes, you had E. coli? I'm like, oh yeah, I did. It was awful me and she goes you had e coli i'm like oh yeah i did it was awful

and she goes wait recently i was like yes queen recently and i do not like 10 years ago i want to shout out the review review listener that put some really fascinating stuff in the discord um about um a like was he is e-cola are we right in thinking of e-coli as kind of are we thinking of ebola ebola and like we were ultimately thinking of e-coli but i was grateful for the discourse and also for reassuring me that edible glitter is fine and i still don't believe i don't know't know. That Discord user seemed very confident, and I'm quite gullible. Even if that's technically right, which I don't know, the thought of putting glitter in my body is...

I was glad to hear it because some very dear friends of mine eat edible glitter as if it's a basic food group, and it makes me happy for them that they have sorry so what happened just there was riley mouthed a name to me and i nodded vigorously but i don't want to put the person on black but yes i have some dear friends who eat mostly edible glitter um and i do worry about them because but now i know i don't need to worry about them but I don't know if it's enough for me to want to eat it like when I get offered a drink with edible glitter in it I think I'm still gonna be like oh I'll be fine without that thank you um it doesn't add taste

no I've never had edible glitter because I'm like maybe I'm like a cupcake or something but it's never in a drink also don't you think it probably tastes like gritty? Like you're drinking something with sand in it a little bit? That's what I was thinking. Speaking of things that you shouldn't put in your body, no matter how much you want to. Okay. He's so nervous. His face is so nervous.

You're thinking of, I'm thinking of like treats that look like human treats you're thinking of something else i see what you mean yes yes yes so we're talking about petco today but i could see your face and you were what what where did your mind go i genuinely thought you were like you shouldn't eat like a kong toy or something no i thought animal i was like dog food oh animal you shouldn't eat. Like a Kong toy or something? No, I thought animal. Oh, dog food? Oh, animal. You shouldn't eat a fish from the store. You shouldn't eat a fish? No, that was a bad example because we do eat that one.

Like a puppy, raw. You could have said, I love, we shouldn't eat a fish. But you shouldn't. Like, you shouldn't go into a pet store and just scoop a beta fish, what you would be if you were a fish. So we're talking Petco. Alf, talk to me about Petco, the pets go is that their slogan yeah that's fucking good slogan did you know that it's fucking good they good for them man that's better than i would the grand finale stop that's narrow casting to the extreme um i have never been to a petco i don't think i was a pet smart kid i don't even know if

there was a pet co in my hometown did you grow up with pets i grew up with kitty cat kitty cat um always cats never dogs i would love a dog i was a dog walker i i had many friends and family with dogs over the years i want a dog so bad you know i need it let me just say this i need a dog i was a dog walker i i had many friends and family with dogs over the years i want a dog so bad you know i need it let me just say this i need a dog like we need theme songs and you need a dog like i need to see yaya live like we need theme songs and uh anyway i but i had fish too but i barely even count that because like i didn't have fish in the way that fish people have fish i have fish in the way that children have fish, which is to say they die immediately.

But I did, I have been into Petco again, or was it a PetSmart? I honestly, I think the two occupy such like a Venn diagram circle in my mind of just like, they're the same. PetSmart feels fancier. I don't even know if that's same and i don't smart feels fancier i don't

even know if that's true i don't even know if that's true but for some reason and i know coming for petco i i know that the petco logo has changed which sucks and it used to be the red and blue cat and that was kind of like fused together and was cute. But now in the era of like minimalist design, it's literally just like, it's, it's like a silhouette. Like a lion. It's not as good anymore.

Um, I have been to Petco. I had fish growing up. I had a bird. I had two birds and I've always been with dogs. I've been to the zoo. That's for a little zoo story. Edward,

I'll be for all you theater nerds out there. I've been to the zoo. Um, I've been to the zoo that's for a little zoo story Edward Albee for all you theater nerds out there I've been to the zoo I've been to the zoo I Loved going to the pet store Now as an adult I don't really know The ethics around Petco I know right I know it feels dubious

It feels dubious I feel like now Unfortunately I do think they still Sell like small birds and reptiles and fish. I mean, I'll be honest. A lot of the reviews I saw and not the reviews that I brought, you'll be happy to hear. That makes me very sad. The budgie was sick.

Zero stars. Their budgies are dying. And I was like, oh, well, not the freaking budge. I think I probably got my betta fish from a petco that i had when i was a kid um but i think i've always i've always loved animals when i was a kid i wanted to be a vet and then i thought oh med school is too hard and i don't like blood so maybe that's not going to be good for me it's one of those it's like i think people do say like if you want to be a vet because you love animals you shouldn't be a vet because yes most of your day is like putting animals down and

like telling people the worst possible news about their animal and like looking at a sick dog all day long exactly so depressing but i loved going to petco i love going to any pet store because i i don't know i just i love animals and seeing all the things for animals is very cute and like seeing all the this is gonna sound so um sad but um so daniel and i are getting a dog hopefully this year um which is very exciting but hopefully it's like you know if one of us gets a job and has to travel it's like that that's time schedules permitting the intention is for us to get a dog and um i have said to daniel before that i'm like i can't wait to get a dog so that I have excuses to go into pet stores and just like go crazy in there.

Just be like, I'm going to treat my little guy. Yeah. I have always dreamed of like, I've grown up with pets and stuff, but like being able to go into a pet store, let's say a Petco. Sure. And be like, this is my animal. Right. I am going to treat, I'm going to take care. I am their sugar mama.

I am going to treat them right but it's like i don't know there's something about being like oh i want to get this leech i want to get this toy this is for my little buddy like does that make sense i want to argue with you but i was ultimately at costco today and they had a you know thing of like the biggest dog bed you've ever seen, like suitable for a T-Rex. And I was just like, I wish I could get that for my dog. I know. I know. I went into a pet shop.

Daniel and I were out like the other day. We were walking past all these stores, and there was this cute little, this isn't Petco, but there's like a cute little boutique dog store. And I'm like, can we go in? And he's like very kindly indulging me. He's like, okay. And the clerk there was like, oh, what kind of dog do you guys have? Because we were looking at all the cute dog treats and stuff.

And we're like, oh, none yet. But we're getting one this year. And so this is just kind of like prep. Oh, so grim. How sad. How sad is that but I remember getting stuff for my fish at Petco and like they had all the different things for like the little fish bowl

of like they had a little diver they had a pineapple from Spongebob they had the treasure chest and I did ultimately have to do a wall divider because I had two betas and they're not allowed to live in the same they have to have a divider between them because they will kill each other.

I wonder how many fish died because of Pixar's Finding Nemo. You know what I mean? Like, in Finding Nemo, the fish have personality. They're so wonderful. They're so... Yeah, hot. The angel fish is hot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't say that. And you think, kids, you watch that you're like oh my god mommy mommy i want a fish i want a fish and then they get the fish and well oh it's boring as fuck now to be very clear doesn't deserve to die but children they do lose interest you heard it here first children if you're boring you deserve to die no but like fish do you know they do die and they do die They require a lot of help and children Are shit at giving fish help

You have to clean the tank you have to do all I mean it's like it's a lot of work I had a beta That lived for a very long time His name was Aladdin and he was blue And I had Three beta Should have called him

Should have called him genie ultimately, right? Well, listen, I had Aladdin. He lived in a bowl next to my bed. And then in a bigger tank, a tank fit for two beta, I had Pinky, who you guessed it was a pink beta. And then I had, I think, Fireball, which was like a dark red and black one. Whoa, Fireball sounds cool. And Fireball bit Pinky a lot through the divider. Well, that's on Pinky.

Don't go near that divider, man. When you think about it. What were your fish's names? Oh, fuck if I know. Probably like one, two, and three. They were. But if you really think about it, this Zoom that we're having right now. Yes.

It's a tank with two betas in it. Well, I'm looking at one beta right now honey fish can see their own reflection you know what i mean um let's take a quick break and then we'll get back oh wait we just had intention me we nearly forgot you you've remembered the last two times i remember i want to say thank you for doing that because i would have allowed us to go right my woman's intuition yeah absolutely uh it's my period induced because of your monthlies you're able to sense the fact we haven't set an intention this is gonna be the bloodiest i was oh i'm so sorry everybody fine it is yeah the pet co episode is gonna be bloody no no you said it no careful what you wish for monkeys okay fine fine we'll be right back with our bloodiest episode yet

and we're back do you want to start or should i i i don't really care i'll start fine then fuck it i'll start fucking and fighting it's all the same and when you wake up next to him in the middle of chapel ron is so fucking good. Okay. This is for a Petco in East Hollywood, California. Four stars. From Quentin E. Oh,

believe it. Sorry. If you can even believe it. Did you know that? Quentin cigarette quentin e cigarette four stars petco where the pets parentheses definitely go of east hollywood is on the northwest court blah blah blah blah it's just uh admin though i think this is a pretty good petco the service is super friendly and they keep things nice and tidy. I like to pop in and grab treats for my friends

with pets, including my roommates. Hashtag dog uncle life. As well as check out the fish, exotic animals, birds, and furry critters for an animal lover pick me up. Also, sometimes they have some limited small plants for sale, so you know that brings me in. I also love getting

a better... Sorry. I also love getting a better sorry i also love getting a better sense of pricing for when someone's looking for something specific like a new pet bed or cat tower the prices are fair but for certain items you can get lucky at local discount stores like ross blah blah blah blah more pricing the store never seems too busy and even it mildly is, they have plenty of pet and crew associates to help you out in all areas. Just saw the other day that this location has Vetco Total Care, along with grooming services like most locations. You don't have a pet! Pretty awesome place to be a pet or a pet parent slash guardian slash friend.

Oh, I know it's like glass houses but and we were just talking about how i go in with that but there is a difference between me going if i'm if i happen to be in the area and there's one there it's not all the time i'm like if but there's there's something what were you gonna say it's gonna be more articulate than what I was going to say. Oh, I doubt it. I was just going to say, like, the idea that you would be sitting around and people would be having a conversation. They're like, oh, yeah, I think that dog bed's looking a little, like, you know, ratty. Like, we should get another one. And a guy just chimes from across the room.

$49.99. Sorry, what was that? $49.99 sorry what was that 49.99 new one of those oh cool cool man um it's really it's also pet um pet friend is a it's a title that really stood out to me as well as like the phrasing there's some the phrasing of like they also have some small plants so you know that brings me in oh wow you got a nice haul today jack yeah i remember your name um so we're getting the kong toy we're getting oh two beds oh wow uh and family's growing families growing oh man you know what you are in here so often and you've never brought your little ragamuffins in when am i gonna get to see them oh you know they're they're um their mom doesn't uh you know i don't have i don't i don't get left alone you know what's that uncle jack Jack doesn't get left alone with the little ones all that often.

She's pretty protective. Oh, so I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I thought these were your dogs. They're not your dogs. Well, they are my dogs. I love them. Of course.

I mean, it's like- They're my sister's dogs oh oh that's so nice you get like uncle jack time that's so nice but sorry so you don't get left alone so do you watch them yeah right i hear it i hear it i hear it but she doesn't leave you alone with them yeah like i hear that now that i've that you've said it back to me. Right. Um, yeah. Uh, no, it's more like, you know, they're her dog. She's with them a lot. Like I, she doesn't really need me like as a pet sitter or anything.

So like, that's why it's not like she travels for work a lot. No, no, she doesn't. Like, but you know, she works from home. Like, oh, so yeah. Like I say, she doesn't really need me to like watch them or anything but i go over there like a lot and i hang out with them but not like oh that's nice i don't know why the alone thing was even relevant i don't know why i said it so she doesn't so so that's not true then so she does leave you because it's well no she doesn't

really but that's not because like she thinks i'm like not capable of looking after a dog or you know i think it's like just it just hasn't happened yet but i'm sure it will eventually like are they like really young puppies um is that why like you know because i can understand if she's like super protective of like you know they're really young little guys is four years young that would not be no that would probably be like um probably probably i would say an adult dog four years young that would not be no that would probably be like um probably probably i would say an adult dog four years old yeah then no not really young i guess then um um well i'll bring you up uh so you can bring these back to the little little rascals um they really are the best oh that's so great so you um well if if you and your sister ever want to come back with them obviously i mean it's

like petco is where the pets go so you know we'd love to give them some treats sometime uh we also i could take them to them do you guys have treats like behind the counter? Yeah. I could take him to him. They're just loose treats. I mean, I'm sure you... I've got a baggie somewhere in here. Zip lock baggie.

Oh, hang on. It's got... Still has some goldfish in it. Here you go. Here you go. I'll put him in the bag. Okay. Cut to his sister's house

well and so well we have to move we have to move that call to wednesday because um my monday and tuesday knock knock completely hey give me a sec uh my monday and tuesday are completely completely booked um that one sorry guys i guess mommy's busy oh hey jack um sorry i'm just finishing up yeah yeah no take your time take your time uh you oh you know what um hey guys i'll call you back later i got a little something for you oh hey actually actually can you not wait whoa whoa whoa oh um oh it's just a treat i just picked him up no no no i that's so that's so thoughtful of you salt pepper come here come here guys mustard seed mustard seed sorry that's

he doesn't is that your nickname there's salt and pepper yeah and i like your nick i like was like what if their names were mustard and seed so i started calling him mustard seed. But I guess I didn't respond. I guess it's like I thought it was another condiment. Because it would have been if it was like mustard ketchup, but like mustard and seed. I don't know what you thought you were doing with that. Sorry, I'm just I'm really stressed with work. I don't mean to be. Mustard comes from a seed, you know. So I thought.

I know that. Yeah. Oh, of course you do. PhD. Um, I would really, I think it's very thoughtful with our PhD. I told you to stop calling me that. I'm just proud.

Can a brother be proud? I got my PhD 14 years ago. And I'm still proud of you today, just my phd 14 years ago and i'm still proud of you today just as i was 14 years ago thank you um i really i see that you did another petco haul we have more than enough beds by the way you don't need to keep getting new bags every time i noticed mustard pepper's bed the other day looked i don't know she just looked like she wasn't really loving it so what does that mean to you because she was like sound asleep the whole time you were over yeah but she i could just sort of sense like disturb it like her dreams you know she kept moving her paw and stuff i was like someone is having sleep yeah rough though rough

sleep you know like a rough sleep so i i'm not rough like a dog i had to get a new bed for him well you know what why don't you we have so many in the garage so why don't you keep these at your place until you know i'll let you know when they're wearing down and as for the treats very thoughtful i do not feel comfortable for my place for them to use treats uh no yours like for them to come stay no they won't be doing that um but you just for storage you can keep the beds there and and once um because you know you've given us upwards of like 26 beds and they're in the garage i don't know you looked surprised by that number i didn't think, I guess I didn't think it was that high. I wasn't counting. I guess it's like when other friends of mine go, if they happen to be at a pet store,

they're like, oh, I got this little toy. Right, right, yeah. But you rarely get them toys. You get new beds for them every time. And that's very expensive and wasteful. They're my sleepy guys. Like, I, that's kind of like my like i don't want to pull the uncle card but you know like that's kind of like our inside thing but like it's kind

of like our inside joke is like they're my sleepy guys so they love it when i get the bed you know you know um sleepy beds for my sleepy man sometimes dogs sleeping is a way of self-soothing anxiety and so i do find that do you think they're anxious here whenever well i find that whenever you've come visit that's why they're always asleep so that's why your joke is like oh my sleepy guys i got this like soothing balm um like for their paws like if their paws are hot you know you're not supposed to put them on the concrete if it's hot outside i know that it's like you have the rule of like if you if you have to put your hand on the concrete and if you can last that for five ten seconds then it's okay yeah i honestly i do like i would do like three seconds

that's shorter that is actually just be more sensitive. Yeah. Because looking at them, like sure. Her paws in particular look raw to me. Jack. Can we sit down? Let's sit down. Okay. Let's sit down for a sec. You are.

Just on one of these beds or. The couch is fine. I want to be with my with my buddies all right well you can sit on the floor i must be have you had their hearing checked they seem a little distant like they're not oh there they go perk up they come on the couch with me oh my sweet guys must be uh must be uh some probably because i was in the pet store i smell like other dogs probably that's why they don't want to that's not it come over uh jack me you should get your own dog oh i could never do that to mustard and seed. You should absolutely.

No, they'd be so jealous. You know what? I think it'd be really good for you because you love them so much. And that's so nice that you do. And I love you. And I can see that I can just kind of, I really see how much your life would benefit from your own dog in your life. No, I mean, I, I, I. You have all those beds.

You have, you know, your Petco membership. I'm pretty satisfied with the hashtag uncle life. Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not sure having a couple of mustard seeds of my own would exactly help. Please stop calling them that. i please stop calling them that okay stop calling them that it's a nickname you said that that was a nickname you started but it's you keep you keep actively calling them mustard and seed and not their names okay so it seems like this is something that you've actually been calling them whether it's in your head or out loud for a long time and that's my name for like but they're

not your dogs that doesn't mean i can't okay you said it's my name they're not your dogs i love you but there is a line between like oh i was in i was in the supermarket and i saw this cute thing for them and it's i love you but it's so upsetting it's so upsetting you do this no i don't even know if you have a job anymore i don't know where you're getting this money obviously i obviously have a job otherwise i wouldn't be able to i thought because i thought you were a postal worker but then it's like you're here all the time yeah i got i gotta leave i got i gotta leave i took a leave um you gotta leave you got a leave of absence yes from the post office i got i'm on the sabbatical um do they do that i don't think they do that and i got one so what's it for researching um new methods for sending the mail to like from point a do you need money

is it no i'm getting paid on the sabbatical it's like 75 but so i either need you to get your own dog or stop coming around for salt and pepper as often okay i get it do you yep what what am i saying then you what are you taking away because sometimes i will i will tell you something and you'll be like oh my phd sissy you're so smart and then you actually don't take in anything i'm saying no i heard you you want me okay so you want me to fuck off that's not what i said you want me to go back to my house that's not what i said i live alone since melanie left by myself on my sabbatical i didn't know you're on sabbatical i thought you just didn't in front of the tv actually i do i still don't think you have a job i think that you are fired reruns the westminster dog show by myself alone that's what you want that's what i'll do i want you to be

happy i want you to feel fulfilled no but this is what you do it's whenever anyone says something that isn't exactly what you want to hear, you go the complete opposite direction. I say, I need you to get your own dog because this is too intense. And you say, oh, you want me to fuck off? I say, I need you to move out of my apartment. Melanie left, you know, three months ago. You should have found your place by now. And you say, oh, you want me to die?

Oh, you want me to die? And so that's none of that is true you say oh you hate me you say oh okay well okay maybe i could be a little bit more sensitive but i feel like i've i've been trying i'm going it's fine my fuse is short with you and i apologize it's okay salty peppy salt salt and pepper that's okay i will see you guys um whenever your mom lets me and i hope you have a wonderful rest of your doggy days. I'll make a deal with you. You can take them on a walk alone. But.

You won't regret this. Only 20 minutes. Only 20 minutes. Okay. Okay. And then you have to promise to like be cool i promise absolutely i thank you you won't regret this seriously okay i'm putting a lot of trust in you that you're not gonna

i know weird i'm not gonna be weird with them okay cuts it apart mustard mustard who's your boy is that yours you sorry is that one yours oh yeah my that dachshund right there yeah frank that's mine he's he's beautiful he's great thank two little- Yeah, mustard and seed. They're mine. Wait. Those are Jill's dogs. No, no. Jill, I'm her neighbor.

I let Frank knows them. That's salt and pepper. No, sorry. Jill's my sister. I let her watch my dog sometimes. She calls them salt and pepper, but their real names are mustard and seed. I never seen you with them this is actually the first time i've ever i'm i'm victoria nice i'm jack nice to meet you yeah no i've heard a little closer i'm gonna give does jill know you're here yeah of course she knows i'm i'm her brother um. You don't see me around a lot. I work for FedEx, Federal Express.

I'm going to give her a call. I'm really popular there. I'm really busy there. I'm a high-ranking CEO. Hey, Joe. I don't work for the post office. I see. I'm at the park with Frank, and I see Salt-N-Pepa here.

Musty, Musty. And do you hear that? CD, CD, Musty, CD. Yeah, she's not happy. I think you need to bring the dogs back. Yeah, she's not happy. I think you need to bring the dogs back. Yeah, she's not been well. Yeah. I'm going to fucking kill you.

Probably need to stay at my place tonight. I'm not sure she should be around them. So we're probably going to take off now. I'm going to call the police. Oh, I don't know if we need to do that. I think you're dog napping. I'm not dog napping. I'm her brother.

So can't be doing that can i so some guy across the park yeah uh hashtag dog uncle privileges the dogs can absolutely stay at his oh i don't know him his whole thing is not mine uh these are my dog he knows whenever he wants because no family values family rules weird Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird guy. I'm good, actually. I got you, brother. Thanks, man, but I don't need it. We are the same.

Couldn't be me, but I love- I got my sister's budgie in my bathroom as we squeak. You shouldn't keep it in there. I'm good with them, but thank you. You take those dogs that aren't yours, my man. They're yours in many ways. I feel like you're missing the point, but good luck with your budgie stuff. Come on, guys.

We got to get out of here. Sure. Puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, salty, nasty, musty. Jill pulls up. Salt, pepper, car, now oh my oh and they're gone and they go and there go my beautiful boys jack yeah yeah you know you can never see these dogs again right fuck um do you hear that are you understanding what i'm saying yeah you want me to i hear you what am i saying you want me to get my car

would you like to do our next review? Aye, yeah, I would. Oh, there's so many I choose from. Aye. So many good reviews I've got. Okay. And is that true? No, I lied. I knew it.

I had the feeling. Okay. I am going to say oh but i it's like do you ever have it where you have like you're like i have four like mid i wish i could combine them into one really good one never had that thought no like energy wise like i could melt just fucking pick one four yeah you don't need to be like that. Four stars from Alina. Where's this pet co? Oh my god I'm a

dumbass. I know. Idiot. God I'm stupid. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. This pet co is in it's in Chicago and I'm not going to say where. In case I dox myself because I think it might have been the one that was closest

to me okay on the old uh goo goo maps ew what if i called it goo goo maps you just did but like earnest you just did okay it's not that close to me it's the one uh you can just say it's in chicago it doesn't matter it's in like lakeview it's like lakeview west you know people know you don't live near there it's true i don't live in lakeview um thank god um no offense to people who live in lakeview um yeah it's like west of roscoe i don't know what that means how many stars it's four stars name god i love chicago alina d alina d's nuts i knew that would be it alina d's nut says four stars well when my daughter and i went in there there was plenty of pet supplies lizards fish ferrets parrots turtles but, but no puppies.

My daughter went to find crickets for her frog, which they had enough of. And she needed a tank and everything she needed she was able to find. The employee was very helpful with their questions. So is she upset that there were no puppy mill puppies? Hard to know because she did say four stars, right? So maybe she's just like matter of fact, like in case you wanted to know, they do have pet supplies, lizards, fish, ferrets, parrots, turtles, but no puppies. So it's hard to tell if it's good because they're probably puppy mill puppies and like it's good that they don't sell puppies from there.

But it's like they're also probably ferret mill ferret you know what i mean right right right like to draw the distinction of oh no god there are no puppies of course but um but then to ding it because everything else was perfect god imagine a ferret mill oh sorry i'm spiraling about the ferret mill i wonder if the dinged star was against her daughter because the daughter found the crickets. But she's like, well, she already actually has more than enough for her frog. I see what you mean. She fucking hates her daughter. She hates her daughter.

Oh, I see what you're saying. She hates her daughter. Oh, I get it. She hates her kid. Oh, she doesn't like her kid okay imagine if your kid asked for did you ever ask for like a strange animal when you were a child oh only every day i'm sure i mean i don't have a particular one that was actually like attainable not like i want a dragon like what did you ask for i what did i ask for it's interesting question i think no i think in terms of ask it was probably just like dog cat dog cat dog cat like i don't

i and i'm gonna get canceled for what i'm about to say and i don't even care i'm excited for it i've had a lifelong desire to not run a puppy mill, but but to cohabitate with a great ape with an orangutan. Preferably I to be roommates with an orangutan is sort of my dream. And it's a lifelong dream, really. I mean, I know you so well for so long and you could go into my head you i could never have fucking guessed oh but that's what you were gonna say i think orangutans are the most beautiful beautiful animal i don't disagree but what a crazy thing and you know they say chimps you know like they tear your face off and all that.

I was like, I don't need a chimpanzee. They're aggressive. You know, bonobos, hypersexual, all the rest of it. But I do think that a glorious, slow, vegetarian, little... Actually, I think they do eat. They're quite big. Yeah. Not little.

Orangutans are quite large. Yeah, but they're still smarter than me. Who thinks you can fight an orangutan? They're just beautiful. I just genuinely think they're beautiful, beautiful animals. And I think they're smart and they're sweet. And I would love, I would love not, you know, honestly, because I think they need a huge amount of forest, you know, to be comfortable.

Like, I don't think that they, you that they should be an indoor animal by any means. But what I would love is to live somewhere very remote and have an expansive jungle or forest or whatever by my house. I would sit in the backyard and I imagine him coming through coming you know through the trees and just sort of visiting with me for a while and we sit and I you know do the crossword or whatever and he's sort of and maybe I throw him like hey orange there you go man like don't worry about it like don't even know don't thank you thank me later you know sort of thing

he eats the orange and I'm just sort of like hanging out with him and you know 20 minutes 30 minutes he's like okay i gotta go back in the forest man and i'm like oh no hard feelings of course i get it you live in there and he goes back in and you know maybe the next day we meet again um sorry and so i uh i don't know if it was me b i I didn't hear it. So do you want kids? Oh, I'm sorry.

Did it? Was that not clear? I... No, no, no. I just... I couldn't tell if, like, maybe I misheard. Yeah, I mean, I think... You know...

Let me answer your question with a question. You know, it's like can't family look like a lot of things um it totally can i never said that i never said that it's um i guess just as a potential romantic partner i was just wondering if like having children, human children would be something in your future that you would want. Right. Well, you know, it's interesting. I have thought about like, you know, I pictured, right, like I'm sitting in the backyard and the little ones are out there with me. The orangutans or children?

No, me, me, my kids. My kids are out there with me. And, you know, maybe, you me my kids my kids are out there with me and you know maybe you know she comes through the trees you know very graceful this is the orangutan now yes and she's got like you know her young you know they have her orangutan babies yes very small litter you know they you know really only have like one baby at a time maybe so not a litter no a lot like, really. It's just because you said litter. Right. I was for you. And they're swinging through the trees.

I mean, I don't know a lot about them, but I know that monkeys don't have litters. That's like a dog or a cat. Well, a lot of animals, actually, but we don't need many mammals. And they are mammals. And she comes through the trees and she's got her young. We don't have litters. Right. Sorry. I just, you know, for your own sake, I was trying to.

You're right. I shouldn't have assumedters. Right. Sorry. I just, you know, for your own sake, I was trying to, you're right. I shouldn't have assumed you didn't know about. It's just when you say, when you say for you, for your own sake, it just makes it sound like you think that I'm stupid. That I'm sorry. You know, there's a thing that happens, right? Where, you know, so much about one topic that you kind of forget what's like intro knowledge and what's advanced knowledge

right you know i understand that yes you know you said earlier like you're a chemical engineer i'm sure there are you know chemical engineering terms that like so many think are like really advanced but they're actually simple you know and then vice versa so do you want to name one of those or i mean it's like again i don't want to start speaking in a language that you may not understand right right and so i want to keep it like layman's terms i want to keep it but if i you know if i were gonna right dive into chemical engineering yeah right like what would be a term you think i might not know, but actually I probably do know. Okay. A term you may not know, but that you probably do. Yeah. And that you're just not even sure where it sits. Is that common knowledge? Is that common knowledge? Would the

defibulation tactics be part of common knowledge? I think that's a medical term right you'd think so but so there's the defib there's the defibrillator and there's defibrillation and then there's also the the uh the trend that's interesting the the trans pneumonic um pneumonic trans pneumonic waves of the track sorry if you could actually i let you go on and on well you didn't quite did you you didn't quite you interrupted a few times well no not when you were saying i want you know 30 minutes you let me get one good burst and then it was really interruption city but um i'm sorry you were saying about the trans pneumonic waves go through the conductor you know what a conductor is.

I'm not talking about trains. Yes, the guy who runs the train. Oh, well. Yep. Goes through the conductor and then into the life source of the babbling fritz. Wow.

I mean, this might shock you, but that was gibberish to me. I mean, I didn't understand the word of that. Honestly, I'm not really surprised. And so it's like that for me with orangutans. Yeah. What were you going to say?

I'm sorry. You were going to say you're not surprised? I was going to say I'm not surprised because it's like, here's the thing. For a lot of people, the kind of jargon that I i just used i would say for most people most people don't know what that is on the flip side most people would would know that orangutans don't have litters you see and i didn't know that i didn't know that but now you've told me that i won't make that you know it's not a mistake i was just saying i feel like people know more about animals than they do about chemical engineering like a general sense. That might be true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sorry, you were saying that the mama ranting would come out of the forest with her baby. She's graceful. Exactly. She's got her baby or two maybe, really never more than that, on her body. And they're sort of clinging onto her fur. And she comes up to me. I haven't seen her since she's given birth.

And I'm there with my kids. Why haven haven't seen her since she's given birth and and and i'm there with my kids and she and i and you know why haven't you seen her since she's given birth because she's been high you know very protective i'd imagine right again i don't want to make any assumptions about what you do or don't know but yes i mean oftentimes after a female orangutan gives birth you know they they as unfortunate as to say they they need to steer clear of the men for a while because the men could be quite aggressive towards i didn't know that unfortunately that's something many great apes are like that yes it's very unfortunate yeah um and so she's come out you know and she's

i'm sorry to hear that i know it is a i'm sorry to hear that me too it is uncomfortable but it's nature right i mean human beings do things all the time that make me uncomfortable so hey men are generally you know right of any you know species 100 so anyway so she in the dream or the fantasy whatever you want to call it she um hands their non-sexual fantasy um she hands me you know one of her babies and i hand her one of mine and there's this moment right of kind of like interspecies recognition and like what if she ran off with it well she doesn't well she could oh 100 i mean i don't doubt that but i so you sorry so what i'm getting i hate to interrupt. Interruption. Yes. But you would be willing to give your baby. Right.

To an orangutan knowing full well that she could just run off with it. I think it would be a leap of faith. I mean. That. I'm going to be honest. Doesn't bode well for you as a potential partner. Do you know the origin of the word orangutan i do not it's two malay words stuck together orang and utan meaning forest person so is there is it orangutan or orangutan i must

have been saying it wrong you can say it either i mean because it's an anglicization of a malay word right orangutan orangutan are interchangeable but forest person right forest that's beautiful i didn't know that and isn't that interesting you know that these are the people who are living you know in the area where these orangutans were and they consider you know yeah our closest dna relative or well not quite um well well okay i don't want to chemical engineer clearly not an evolutionary biologist. Is that not true? Well, monkeys and apes are different, right?

Well, I do know that. Yeah. So our closest relative is the bonobo, which is a great ape. Right. So not a monkey. Quite different. Primate. Both primates.

We're primates. They're all primates, but not monkeys. Anyway, forest person, right? So there's this moment where I look into her baby's eyes, and I see myself. I see my children. I see humanity. And she looks into my son's eyes, and she sees herself, her child, you know, her species. And it's a moment of true harmony between me and this sort of beautiful, ethereal creature of the wilderness. I've already heard all I need to hear.

And I don't think we should see each other again. I was going to say the same. You only want to have sons. And if we were to have a daughter I did not say that would not I did not respect her you would not want her to be educated and I think that's a real I think you're I think you're really I mean you'd have to say it that's like kind of like that's what I could take from that based on who you are. I just, I said son, you know, because in that particular, you know, like, dream I was having. No, you've clearly thought about this a lot. And so it's, you know.

Could have been a daughter just as easy. I don't believe that as far as I can believe. Such a strange thing for you to pick out of all the beautiful that, I mean, it really is a beautiful story. And for you to pick out the fact that i said son instead of daughter do you tell this beautiful story on all your first dates no honestly i i often don't feel comfortable and um well that's been validated hasn't it so probably won't be telling this story for quite a while well how about you how about you open up your mind and your heart to potentially not having a son that would be my advice to you.

I don't think that that's true. I think it's very clear that it's either a son or nothing. Fantastic. You know my heart better than me. You never said that. I just said that. For you, it's either it's a son way or the highway. No.

Like I said at the beginning, I think there are many things that a family can look like, right? And son, daughter. I think you want to marry him. Sorry, not a monkey, an ape. the beginning i think there are many things that a family can look like right and son daughter i think you want to marry him uh not sorry not a monkey an ape i think you want to marry an orangutan yeah i think if what you got from that story um from that dream was that there was anything sexual or romantic happening between me and the orangutan you really really, really miss the mark. So I think it's for the best if we don't see each other again either. Do you have a twin or a brother? I do, yes.

Okay. What's he into? Because here's the thing is that it's like looking at you, I feel like you and I would have very beautiful kids but i don't like you and but i but i would like to be with someone who looks like you i think you are very attractive but i don't of course yeah yeah um i'll happily give you that um okay but i don't i don't like you very much right i mean i i do i have a brother um he's a surgeon um fantastic is he available um no he's not i think you're lying i i mean i don't i don't think he would like you. You don't know that.

He and I probably have a lot more in common because I'm a chemical engineer and he is a medicine. I don't. I really... He knows about the babbling fritz. Yes, I would. I don't know why. I can't believe the number of dates I have that end this way. Sentencing people up with my brother um okay well cut to my date with the brother so your brother ed uh tells me that you are a surgeon fred so um not to put you on the spot but uh tell me a bit about that any jargon that i would know tell you a bit about um yeah i mainly do um like appendectomies oh whoa that's intense sort of like at one time it would have been

called a general surgeon right but we don't really have that anymore but i i add captain right that it's like a general because i said general yeah it's not no i i think yes sir or something like that probably would have been a bit you're right you're right captain you literally said yes yeah uh but yeah i do like gallbladders appendices uh sorry so um chemical engineer though that's nice you work you work at one of the universities or researcher what do you do i research at the university so uh yes to both i'm a researcher at at the university very nice if you and i were to have a daughter would you be mad oh um sorry it's just past experiences. I don't really want kids. So...

Do you have a dad? Well, I did. He's dead. So he's not available? But he's dead. Okay. I mean, we have another brother oh brilliant what does he do teddy um he well he's a um yeah eddie freddy and teddy yeah he's a musician

just like mom Let's do our next You weren't willing to commit to Those three men Being Jojo Siwa's Children Guys I really hope you guys Know that if you don't know Then that ending on that bit

Sucks If you guys don't know if you've been living under a rock JoJo Siwa already has the names for her future children who do not exist yet picked out and they are Eddie, Freddie, and Teddy and I think she has tattoos

it's like there's so much lore behind that that was great I also just want to like say like just for the record to clear everything up everything you said was true every single thing i said about orangutans is genuinely how i feel that was that was a character absolutely but that is nothing that's not surprising to me one bit imagine you're sitting in the backyard right and gracefully through the i mean fuck the dream that's the dream so do you want to do that last

one or should i i have one fantastic this is all this is also for the petco in east hollywood it's one star from karina b um karina v you said um karina karina any fucking day vanderpump karina vanderpump i really thought you were gonna say karina v's nuts karina vanderpump one star i should have said that. One star. To be honest, this place should be shut down. Like literally. Hours change all the time. How annoying is it to be a big store in the middle of Hollywood where it's extremely busy and close early? What are they thinking? It's not the workers fault, but come on.

I'm pretty sure it's their store's management because it seems like everyone's leaving. Probably don't like the boss or something. No staff to help. You literally got to wave your hand in their face because they're too busy and want to be unbothered. Fuck you. Which is understandable. It's Petco, but really hire people that actually want to work.

If you come in after 5 p.m., they won't sell you a pet since they don't sell pets one hour before closing, which they close at 6. It was embarrassing bringing my family to shop for an hour just for someone to tell me last minute you need to come tomorrow to buy a pet. Just tell it from the get-go, Petco. LOL. I want a gecko. Tell me

from the get-go, Petco. To end that all with a little joke and then LOL is crazy. People like that, I mean i mean fuck you really know how to fucking get me riled up with one of these reviews i'm just like go fuck yourself imagine imagine also i did ask for a gecko as a child and i didn't get a gecko which is probably the best what like one of the like fucking little with the little tail and all that uh yeah yeah like the fat like the fat little tail and it'd be like

like what like the fat little tail like um in fiji there's a lot of geckos and there was one that lived in my bathroom for like the whole time i was there and it was a little one and i would see it scurry up along the walls and then at night i would hear it go yo more like guinea gecko um so sorry you were saying oh i don't believe i was i'm mad i just yes i just like imagine how upset you would have to actually be in a customer service setting that someone was ignoring you to physically wave your hand in front of their face awful like that is true that's so atrocious i have forgotten how to be a human being yeah you know what i mean 100 just like what the actual fuck is wrong with you that you think that's like normal and or appropriate behavior in public yes yes i don't know man i there's

something about and i know i just said it but there really is something about that it's like a whole like fucking rant about waving their face waving their hand in front of the the workers faces and then a little joke that they thought was very funny and an lol oh well me think said you it's like shut the fuck up nobody thinks you're funny imagine like in a store and like someone's like being such a horrible customer, giving you such a hard time and then being like, sorry, it's funny. It's just, no, it's just, no. No, I do actually need to order.

Come on. No, I mean, it's like I, you're stonewalling me, but like you have to admit that was funny. I said in one minute, sir. you have to admit that was funny. I said in one minute, sir. You have to admit that was funny. There's a situation we are dealing with right now in the store. I said I will be with you in one minute. Oh, okay. Well, this is the situation because my daughter is buying a gecko and we need to, you know, pay for the gecko to leave.

As I said before, this county has a law we are not allowed to sell pets on sundays well take me to church i worship like a dog at the shrine you know it's like it's kind of sorry it's just um i thought you were trying to buy a gecko i was a joke about um church and sir that was you need to come i am i'm so upset with you but what it's i'm upset i'm upset on behalf of my daughter but i feel like you um what kind of comedy do you like sorry do you like comedy um as much as the next person i suppose that doesn't mean anything what do you like do you i mean are you do you like sketch do you like snl do you like listening to stand-up do you like improv um what's kind of like because i haven't you haven't laughed at anything i've said do you know like Bob Hart's

Abishola I've seen some billboards for it yeah I like that a lot I thought I think young like some episodes of young Sheldon are pretty good. Okay. So I guess Network sitcom. Okay. Okay. But I really like Bob Hart's I'll Be Show Love.

But you know what? That makes sense to why you weren't laughing. Everything you're saying makes sense to why you weren't laughing at what I was saying. Okay. Because I feel like my comedy is like... I work in stocks, but everyone always tells me like oh dude like bryce you were the funniest guy in the bullpen you're the funniest guy in the bullpen and i make i get everyone in stitches but you i've not been able to crack anything out of you i know i've yelled at you i waved my hand in front of your face i like i shoved you a little bit and that wasn't cool that wasn't cool but we were we can still laugh yeah right trent i mean i guess yes that is my name tag and that is

my name um yeah i guess we can laugh if you said something funny which you did not no no no what i realize now is that everything i was saying is very funny but the kind of stuff you it's just your taste is different so i think my stuff is probably going over your head a little bit okay sir um we are closing in 15 minutes okay i got a tight 15 to get a laugh out of trent uh hey becca you can go wait in the car honey we're not getting the gecko today or probably ever that's a lot i don't want to deal with that dear petco customers thank you for coming in and joining us today for your pet needs oh who writes this shit um if you're gonna be buying anything make your way to the can i sorry i'm just making an announcement. Can I take the mic? Yeah. This thing on.

Hello. Petco. Sir, I need that. Petco, where the pets go. Uh-oh, hope they're not going in the aisle, if you know what I mean. It's a little potty humor for your Sunday. I actually quite liked that one. So then where was the laugh?

Trent, where was the laugh Trent where was the laugh I guess you've got more building to do Because I don't really feel like laughing Quite yet Give me another one That good or better That good or better Alright hey Petco shoppers

How much is that doggy in the window I'm looking at Trent. He's a dog. Oh, Trent, you old dog. I think that one did go over my head because I don't know what that meant. Are you saying I'm like a womanizer?

Yeah, you old dog. You old dog. You dead nasty dog. I don't know. That's not like my reputation that joke didn't work now if you said like brian and you've done the same joke i think people probably would have left because he is he's a problem in the workplace well the thing is i don't actually know i've never you're the only person in the story that i've met so that's hard for me to... Fuck it. Okay.

Sorry. I'm known... It's okay. You can swear. What are you known for? I'm known as being like, I guess, really chill. That makes sense. You are the most...

Customers don't really phase me. Low energy person I've ever met. Yeah. Well, it's a deliberate defense. Well, it doesn't matter. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. The tortoise got loose from the cage.

You can find it in aisle six at checkout. It's wearing the nameplate Trent. Yeah, I got what you were doing in that one, but I'll be honest, you lost me as soon as you said cage. We keep them in tanks. I don't think any pet person would hear that and be like, laugh at that. Hey, Trent, I'm bombing.

Closing in 10 minutes you guys please bring your items up to the front if you wish to check out at this time my place of work with me tomorrow you work in the bullpen of the new york stock exchange yes um it's just i feel like we're getting off on the i don't want you to now go tell stories about you know this handsome built just hung guy rich guy who came into into petco but he wasn't funny because i'm all those things and i'm very funny and if you just see me with the guys on a day-to-day then you would be like oh my god this guy is so funny and not mean to me okay sure i'll come great cut to the bullpen the next morning hey boys how's it going lads i said hey sorry was that at me but no not trent

that wasn't you i'm talking to the we're in the bullpen boys hello wake hello. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. How's it going? Oh, hey, man. Yeah, just doing some stocks. Doing some stocks or doing some cocks? Because I'm looking at a bunch of dicks in here right now. Yeah, we've talked about HR a lot of times. We've talked about it.

HR more like harumph. We still got to deal with that. Did anyone else hear that? Can we all agree strike three? Can we all agree strike three? Trent, are you seeing this? They're kind of eating it up. They don't seem to like you very much.

They're just jealous. Hey, Billy. Billy, you got those reports I asked for the other day i'm or was i too busy pegging your wife for you to send through my email and have me notice that you did the work i asked you to do i send them i sent them to you last week also you don't peg my wife. Well, I could. But you don't do that. I mean, first of all, I don't know. I don't want to get into that.

But she wouldn't do that with you. She's a knight. Okay, well, that one, sorry. Now I know. You've been going through some trouble. I'm sorry. Well, I'm sorry. Hey, man, you're really doing bad. I would quit while you're ahead.

No, no, no, no. This is just a warm're ahead. No, no, no, no, no. This is just a woman. This is just a woman. No, no, no, no, no. You were doing better at Patco for real. No, no, no. Here we go. Here we go.

We're in the. Hey, guys. Guys. You know women work. You know women work here too, right? Oh, hey, ladies. Yeah. That's kind of.

So how about I go, hey, ladies ladies and then all you gals go yeah i don't think rebecca wants to do that hey ladies i'm not gonna do that dave okay i think i'm just nervous because you're here, Trent. I'm sorry. It's like I feel like normally they are all in stitches. And today I'm not getting anything from them. I'm going to head out, I think. You hear that part? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't go, don't go, don't go. Please don't go. Please don't go. Jesus Christ, you're desperate. What do I need to do to get you to tell everybody about my jokes? In a positive light. Tell everybody about your jokes. I mean, is there anything from, like, do you know anything from Bob Hart, Aubie Shola?

Or from Big Bang Theory, or Sheldon. Bazinga. Oh, fuck. Oh, that was funny. That was really good. Let's do the last segment. Do you know what? Bob Hart's Obbyishola got five seasons

all week long come on do it 92 episodes i've never seen it episodes of episodes of Bob Hart. Like, 22 episodes. Like, full old school sitcom level seasons, right? 92 episodes. Bob Hart's Arby Shola. I've never seen an episode. I mean, he really does. I haven't either. He loves.

He fucking loves her. He fucking loves. He hearts her even. He hearts her. Oh, if what's been shaking your ass. At the time of recording. Two days ago. April 17th. I don't know if what's been shaking your ass. At the time of recording. Two days ago,

April 17th. Today is April 19th. On April 17th, the latest season of The Circle premiered. And tonight, I'm going to watch

some of it. And I can't fucking wait. I haven't seen any of, I don't think any of The Circle since like season two.

The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle,

The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle,

The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle,

The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle,

The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, The Circle, of the circle do you know the premise okay yeah and for those of you don't know it's a netflix reality show i think this is five at least of the american one there's like also there's different um different countries have it um if you guys don't know the circle is like a netflix reality show where it's all it's like a social media it's hard to explain it's like basically I don't know how many people maybe 13 people they're all put up in this apartment building they can only stay in their own apartments they can move around to different rooms like a gym the rooftop but they're not allowed to interact

with each other the only way they can interact with each other is through like a social media profile they make and you can either play as yourself or you can catfish and it's about like building relationships with people through like what kind of photos do you post how do you interact you can make group chats it's all just through messaging and um then when you know they decide to vote somebody out and they do that it doesn't matter if you want to look up what the holy shit that was sweaty it's just it's hard to explain because there's so much to it but um all that to say is that it's people creating social media profiles and it's a competition show based on that in this

new season one of the cast is an ai generated profile oh my god and two things one i am so fascinated to see how that goes and two what's shaking me is if I were in the casting process, if I were someone who had gotten very far in the casting process of The Cycle and I was in the last round of casting, but Netflix was like, oh, we love you. We hope you apply next season. We're going to keep you on our roster.

We're going to maybe call you back for the next season if we get picked up again. But you know what? It's just not your time. it's just not your season we're so sorry to see casting come out and see that you didn't get on because but chat gpt chat gpt beat you out for it that is fucking crazy you weren't good enough to get on because an AI bot was on. They're taking our jobs. Are they going to like, it's not just like the profile is generated. Like the person's dialogue is all AI. That's what I'm imagining.

I haven't watched it yet. I'll come back with updates. That's what I imagine is that it's like every, all the messaging back and forth will be like chat GBT. I don't know. I'd like to think. Imagine. and forth will be like chat gbt i don't know i'd like to think imagine like that i would be able to tell imagine survivor but it's just a full robot the thing is okay so with the circle it's like whenever anyone leaves the circle they put up a video message for the rest of the players to see and they can go visit one player in person but for everyone else they get a video so it's like if they've been if it

was a person who was a catfish it's either people being like oh my god i knew it wasn't them or oh my god what i thought they were an old lady um but imagine if it's just a fucking robot like you yeah you go into the room like, meet the person who sent you home or whatever. Yeah. And it's like, hello? Hello? I'm imagining, like, it's the robot from SpongeBob. Plankton's wife.

Rolling it on wheels with a big computer head. What's her name? Is her name Janet? Janet. Janet. Yeah. Damn it. Janet. What's her name? Is her name Janet? Janet. Janet. Yeah. Damn it, Janet. What's shaking you?

Oh, fuck. I should have been thinking, but I was so busy being interested in your thing. Thank you. You know what's shaking me, Riley? What is shaking you, Alfred? Punschkis. What? You know Punschkis?

No. Of course you don't, because you're not in Chicago. Punschkis are this are this like polish donut thing okay and to make a long story short through work today a very sweet lady gave me eight punch keys that's very nice and they were fresh out the fucking oven dude lovely or fryer maybe i think they're fried or i think donut what's in it um they're filled or like yeah in their sort of original like the most sort of classic is basically just like around like donut you know filled with like a jam a jelly and they're really fucking good um and the one i had it had like an

orange kind of jam in it i was like oh um and i just like i think if i i think if i could i yeah i would i would live in a bakery. With an orangutan. With an orangutan. He would show me her baby. And I would recognize myself in its eyes. You can find Alfred on Instagram at AlfredInIt. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview. Reddit, r slash ReviewReview.

Discord, ReviewReview. And Jeffrey, James, and I have a Patreon where we do monthly azartes that's a zoom party patreon.com slash riley and jeff at you can find riley on instagram.com just the web browser though not the phone app at riley and on well twitter.com for as long as it lasts and oh now known as xxxxx.com for as long as it lasts. No, now known as XXXX.com for as long as it lasts. At Riley Coyote. And as we say every single week on the show, we're always saying it.

We're never not saying it. And I only want sons. I only want sons. I only want sons. I thought you were going to say, I only watch Bob Hart's I was Ella. I only want sons. We'll see you next week.

Bye. That was a Hiddem original.