Review Revue - Podcast Reviews (100th Episode!)

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Geoff and Reilly impose themselves upon their podcasting peers and force them to come to terms with the public sentiment of their respective podcasts in this episode 100 review extravaganza.��   IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee   Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a HeadGum Original. Last year on January 13th came a podcast birthed by a couple of freaks Jeffrey, James, and Riley and Spock Had a concept with no flaw Take reviews that they find online Make fun of them, now that'd be chai Floating in the cyber sky 99 strange

reviews go by I'm Jeffrey! Let's go 99! Marty, Jeffrey What are we doing? What are we doing? Danielle Pallet, Nina Extravaganza Josh Meandrithal

Dan Harbinger. Your parents' divorce is going to be on one of the hats. You want your meat squeezed in paper towels. They tossed beer on my shoes so I wouldn't be able to put them back on in an effort to make me get blown by the waiter. Please tell me that the children don't fall under the tossed category. This is some fucking sex club. I'm going to go take you as Virgin. 99 episodes.

This is it, the 100th show. What strange theme is it this time? Grand Canyon tours or maybe slime? The characters are all insane. From murderers to social pains As listeners lose their minds 99 Strange Reviews go by 99 Strange Reviews go by You don't buy!

Bullshit. That made me so emotional! 100 episodes. 100! Holy shit! This is the 100th episode of Review Review! Was that a parody of 99 Revolutions by Green Day, am i making that up i think that's right let me just triple check because i don't want to sound like a fucking idiot it's it's one of those bands but not one of the ones that i listen to it's one of those emo

shits no it's not it's it's like blink i don't know what anyway it's like. It's like blink. I don't know what. Anyway, it's like a new wave band. It doesn't matter. That was amazing. That came in from Lorne Michaels. Yeah. No, that came in from Lorne with a different M last name.

I never know if people want to. Yeah, Lorne M from Toronto. He said, after I heard the recent podcast and you mentioned you were nearing your 100th episode I decided to make a theme song for you guys themed specifically towards this grand occasion oh my god it's a parody of Nina's 99 red balloons right right 99 red balloons I would not know that okay um called 99 strange reviews that was amazing he also submitted the we didn't Start the Fire theme song a couple months ago, and we didn't say what his name was. So sorry, Lauren,

but happy 100th, he says. Lauren, I love your work on Saturday Night Now. No, he doesn't, yeah. Jeffrey! It was easy to get to this place. It really was not. It was like it wasn't even a long time coming because there's

first episode and then suddenly we're here i don't think so there's first well there's first episode through maybe seventh then there's a devastating global pandemic then there's us doing this on zoom for the better part of a year and a half correct there's us doing one episode in person but the sound was bad so there's us waiting for the HeadGum studio to be complete. Can't wait for that in 2025. Yep. I asked Marty about it today,

but he wasn't in the Slack channel that we were talking about it in. And so he didn't respond. But Jake was like, honestly, I can answer for Marty. Yeah. And then he kind of did a Marty impersonation of a text. And it was like, oh, yeah, it's going along along slow but i'll text the guy and he never does we love you marty um holy shit my love's conditional for marty and it is conditional on us getting into it by the new

year if it's not open by december that's stupid then we quit and i'll go out yeah Then we quit. And I'll go on. Yeah, then we quit. Then we quit. Then we go to fucking forever dog. Forever dog. Dog. Jeffrey, what a time. To be alive. What a time to be alive, to be reading reviews. What do you remember? Oh, God, where to start? I mean, as an embryo just swimming around in the sack.

Of the show. What do you remember of the show? Of the show, a lot of laughs. You remember that far that's scientifically improbable um well i mean that theme song alone like all the names the names my god the names i i want to get a master list of every name that we've done and do a review of your name generator because there's just so many. But I mean, it's just like it's...

There's some that are just so long ago that I just forget. I mean, a hundred is a lot of episodes and it is really crazy. Well, we started last January, so how many months has it been? It's been 19 months. 19 months.

That's a long time when I put it like that. That's a long time. Because I still feel like it's only been a year. I know. But it's closer to two years than one. And I remember just like,

and I know you've talked about this on the show extensively, but it's and i remember just like and we've i know you've talked about this on the show extensively but it's like going from recording like seven eps in person to then being like okay we're gonna do duoprov over zoom for like 16 months but i thought it was good we all we thought it's gonna be two months and i was like well okay well these next two months will be kind of difficult but like then we'll get back to the studio and it'll all be good. And now it's going to, yeah. We've talked about this at length. We have.

But I'm excited for the next chapter to hopefully be getting back in the studio soon. But I don't see it happening until probably January. I don't know, Marty. I don't know. I'm mad at him. I'm not going to hold back. I'm mad at Marty. And that's a different race.

And so a lot of people are, I think. And not even for the podcasting thing just like personal stuff um but yeah the names they're i mean just like different scenes like there's some like some even just like little um i think this is from the british pubs episode of like the the guy who went to a gay bar but didn't know it was a gay bar and then they poured beer in my shoes so I couldn't leave. Like what the fuck are we talking about? What do you mean? What do you...

But in this world, it exists for real. I love... Like what kind of characters do you remember? Because there's some that are just very near and dear to my heart. Well, it's funny because like there's this episode and then we did the best of last December. So I feel like we've already done some reflection and a lot of my favorite episode and then we did the best of last december so i

feel like we've already done some reflection and a lot of my favorite episodes are we're in already september now yeah which means that like yeah because we're gonna do best ofs in what three months two months like it is it has almost been a year since our best of of the year crazy yeah so i'm trying to think of like ones from since then uh that we haven't reflected on uh the Herbie fully loaded car episode that we recorded in that was when we did in person and you're in the room you're in right now uh that one was that's probably my favorite of this year um I love Rodney who's just shown up every now and again, like super roided up, like really like not well. Rodney.

Yeah. Rodney's become a favorite of mine. It's just been I just I'm getting very emo and I just want to say I love you so much. You're my best friend. Daniel, cut this out. No, keep it in, Daniel. This is insane. It's important.

You're my best friend, and I love you, and I couldn't imagine going on this crazy journey we call life or review review with anyone else. Yeah, mostly the show. You're acting like This is a marriage proposal No I love doing the show Will you be my bride? No absolutely not

No What about Johnny Villa And he's a bride and it's bride villa I don't know who Johnny Villa is You haven't met Johnny? You'll meet him in New York No I love doing the show with you I haven't met Johnny you'll meet him in New York um no I know who Johnny is I haven't met Johnny you're lucky holy shit yeah um no I was saying you're really gonna compliment me it was

gonna be awesome what were you saying I was just saying I like doing the show I was saying I like doing the show there's no scroll I'm scrolling no i'm looking at all the episode titles and trying to think of other things uh kylie brakeman's uh tom beckman oh my god character so good uh oh the old navy what was it uh adam's character oh my god oh my god the like the the eastern european exchange student yeah It was the king of the Navy. Shelby Woolstein's sheriff character from the Life Threatening Hikes episode. Yes, the press conference. Yeah.

It's easy to remember the ones with guests because they're not always on the show. The other ones kind of blend together. I'm trying to remember which other ones. There was, oh, Heinz was good. Yes. Rolling Backpacks. I had a lot of fun. Oh, I mean the Kit Kat

and the cheese uh the craft singles is one of my favorite episodes of yes the fucking of the cheese the fucking of the cheese and we had fucking Ben Schwartz on the show between now and the best of so that's like crazy of a chapter um yeah it that's insane I'm just so this is wild uh but we should get moving because we have some special guests on today we do have some special guests I think we shouldn't

or I guess it's fine we'll figure it out later but I'm wondering if we keep it a surprise just say with special guests and then see so we have special guests on and they are coming soon

so let's get to it the theme of today's episode so for a hundred I was about to say years for a hundred ups of this podcast we love doing this podcast so much. It's been something that people have requested, this theme, this topic. We are reviewing reviews. Reviewing reviews.

Of Review Review. And other podcasts with our special guests. We'll get to that later. Yes. You want to start us off? I'll start us off with a review of Review Review. With a review of review review with a review of review review fuck there were a lot of really interesting one i mean i'm trying to i'm trying to pick there's some they're just like really long and like written

very funny and then there's some that just like i think are earnest and really make me laugh um so okay i'm gonna do um can i do a little best of i'm gonna do one that just made me laugh. Yeah. So, okay. I'm going to do, can I do a little best of? I'm going to do one that just made me laugh of like the way it's written and then the other one

that I would like to do improv off of. Let's do it. Okay, here we go. This one that just really made me giggle. This is five stars from Deli of the Ghetto

and the title is Is This Nirvana? Picture yourself free from the constraints of a stable home gracefully perched on a park bench shivering to the bone in upper 60 degree weather eliciting concerned stares from parents as they usher their children out of your general vicinity due to your unsettling and incessant cackling at a mere podcast sounds liberating therapeutic even while you're in for a snack from the moment the first shrill tones of review review gush from your speakers penetrate your ears and trickle down

your essence you may as well be a vagrant of sorts because there's only one thing on your mind what time is it the jokes are there the banter fine but buckle up neo you just took the bread pill and like it or not you're along for this bumpy ride. The improv comes and goes. Time flies as swift as a kite. And when the pods hour is up, you'll swear it was only 45 minutes because you were right there on that park bench and it was home. Oh, well, back to the mortgage for me. Back to the mortgage. So thank you so much.

That really, that's exactly right. You've taken the bread pill and you're along for the ride. Okay, here we go. This is five stars. Also, thank you for these five star reviews. Five stars from Grand Frank One. So can we get a last name for Grand Frank One? That's all one name?

That's all their first name. Grand Frank One Hour Photo. Grand Frank One, last name, Hour Photo. Hour Photo. Grand Frank One Last Name Hour Photo. Hour Photo, yeah, yeah. Okay, the title for this five star review is funny, but yeah.

Show makes me laugh, but is also good for listening. Watched Gilmore Girls because they spoke about it. Really cool to be in my twenties and listening to this i recommend this podcast and their patreon which seems cool so i finally paid four dollars seconds before writing this really cool to be in my 20s listening to this like it's just they make me see life in like like wow this is the time that i'm in

talking about your 20s in relation to anything that you're like consuming media wise. It's really like, honestly, like season two of Fleabag just ended. Oh my God. I am, can I just be the first to say like, one, that was such a beautiful show. Yeah.

And I'm so glad we're all here together. I mean, it's like, it's our last, it's our last day of summer before our first day of grad school. And I just have to say, like, you guys, can you believe that we're in our 20s watching Fleabag about a woman in her 30s? And like, we're about to go into grad school with a mix of 20 and 30 year olds. But we're not like, I just can't believe like the time we're in. Yeah. Um, we all got together cause Richard's mom just passed away and we were trying to cheer him up with his favorite show. So let's talk about that instead of like, sorry. I mean like Richard, I am so sorry for your loss,

Richard. Your mom was an incredible woman. And how crazy is it to lose a parent in your 20s like you're too young to be burying your mom well it's not crazy it's just it hurts yeah it hurts a lot yeah it hurts because it's like in a way you're still a kid but you're also a grown man you know it's like you're you're 26 so it's like you're a kiddo but you're also big guy and so i think it's maybe we talk about something else. Oh, my God.

Of course. Of course. I am – what are your plans for the funeral? Are you going to do a reading at the service? Yeah, I'm going to do a reading, one of my favorite Bible passages, and just figure it out. But, no, it's like – it was nice to watch Fleabag with you guys. I really got my mind off of it.

So I appreciate it. But let's not talk about age or death or family because I'm on the verge of tears here. Of course. Yeah, yeah. You guys want a drink? Maybe we could just – we're here to distract Tommy. So let's just focus on that. The Bible is really interesting now that you bring that up.

How so? Because it's like, well, Jesus was in his 30s when he died. And you can only imagine that the age range of kind of everyone around it, like, that's pretty surreal to be like. Well, he was executed. He was executed by the state. So that's. No, I know. I just mean, like, if you're one of like the apostles, you're probably in your what? Late 20s, early 30s? Like, what are we doing? Like, they wrote the Bible. And like, what, we're sitting around watching Fleabag and going to grad school for journalism?

Like, what are we doing? Yeah. It's just hard because, like, people's lifespan were different. And, again, we really shouldn't talk about death because Tommy's, like, again, now he's starting to cry. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's all right. It's like when I'm on my deathbed i want to look back

and be like i lived my life you know like like richard your older brother he's in his 50s now and like but when he was our age he had a kid already what are we doing we don't have kids we're sitting here drinking mike's hard lemonade watching fleabag yeah it's to cheer tommy up because his mom is dead. That's like, I just don't think that, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, man, let's focus on him, right?

Let's see what he needs and give it to him. Like, I want to validate your experience of this, whatever you're like, I don't know what you're going through. There's clearly something else going on, but let's not take away from Tommy's. No, I completely agree. You know what? I feel really bad because in my mind, it's like we're talking about anything other than his mom so i thought that you're talking about death you're talking about death you're talking about religion you're talking about spirituality these are all things that relate to his mom i'm

talking about like i'm talking about the passage of time i'm talking about like how crazy that we're in the age that we're in and just kind of looking at from a bird's eye view of like whoa like and that's what we're trying to get away from because he's already having those crises. And he's valid in doing it more so because his mom is dead, right? So he's thinking about age. He's thinking about timing. He's thinking about what it even means to be human. And so let's talk about surface level things for him so that he can kind of get his mind off it,

which is what the night's entirely about. Fleabag surface level. Totally. Getting a drink at surface level. Sure. Yeah. That's – yeah. I'm sorry.

Just don't get deep. Just don't get deep. Let't get deep let's say that okay okay that yeah it's just like i feel like you're gonna get deep but let's just it's gonna be fun all right tommy yes thank you guys i'm gonna have a night another mike's hard um yeah yeah did you guys see the uh first week nfl American football. Love American football. Yeah, man, it was awesome. That Chiefs-Browns game was pretty good. Tommy, do you ever think about what it would be like if you

hadn't left your hometown and what kind of life you would have there? I don't really want to talk about that because part of the reason that I'm grieving is that I just spent a lot of time with my mother. Right. Because I'm not going to be around. Right. No, I'm just... Chance, around. Right. No, I'm just.

Chance, you fucking asshole. No, I'm sorry. I was thinking about it. It's like, oh, what fun he could have had over there. And like how crazy that we all met. And now we're here together. It's just hard. So we can comfort him.

Yes. So we can comfort you. Because I didn't get to see her the last couple of years. And I just like, I didn't go home for Christmas. But it's hard. You know, I was in the States and just so hard to get it's expensive and to get over there and then yeah i'm sorry you guys no tommy it's it's all right man it's all right it's all right what were you doing that you couldn't get back sorry it's just like you you didn't travel but but this is because

you're traveling for work right like you're having an unbelievable job and you're traveling for work right like you have an unbelievable job and you're traveling for work right shut up no i just think it's amazing i just think it's amazing that tommy tommy is an incredible documentary filmmaker and he's going around the world he's telling stories of how paper towels are made it just seems so small now no it's not small because you are 23 goddamn years old and you you are a globetrotter what are we doing richard what are we doing what are we doing at this age when it doesn't matter it doesn't matter chance it doesn't matter because he's grieving right it doesn't matter what we think we're doing or whether we're on the right path i grabbed tommy by the shirt tommy you have a well of life experience that i have yet to know you have a well of tears i wipe them you have a well of life experience that I have yet to know. I have a well of tears in my eyes. You have a well of tears. I wipe them.

You have a well of tears in your eyes. You have a well of life experience. And I want some of that from you, man. Give me your grief. Give me your knowledge. I kind of grab you off of him. Get off of him, man. Get off of him.

I have nothing. I have nothing. I've done nothing with my life. I am a baby, but also a man. And I don't know when I am or who I'm meant to be, but Tommy knows everything. It doesn't matter right now. Your parents are alive and together. His mom's died.

His mom's died? Both of his mom's died? Both of his mom's died. Oh, now you're orphaned. Oh my god, he's orphaned at 23. I wish I could have. Get out, Chance. No, now I feel bad.

No, he's actually crying. No, you should have felt bad five minutes ago. Of course he's weeping. I don't know how to cry in English. You don't have to cry in English, Tommy. It's all crying. You don't have to cry in English. You're English.

He means an American accent. He means an American accent. Hey, Richard, before I go, I understand I've killed the mood. I'm happy cry in English. You're English. He means an American accent. He means an American accent. Hey, Richard, before I go, I understand I've killed the mood. I'm happy to leave. But before I go, Richard, I know this is gonna sound crazy,

but I feel like if I don't do it- Then don't say it. Then don't say it if it's gonna sound crazy. Then it's like I'm not gonna have lived in my 20s. Will you marry me? What? No. I don't know.

We don't even like each other on a friendship level. You're his friend. I know, but I feel like it could be a life experience that we had. Tommy, I'm so sorry. No, it's all right. It's all right. You know what? It actually, that actually made me feel a lot better.

What? What? If you, if I know it sounds crazy, but if you guys tied the knot, maybe I'd have a family then. Tommy, it's just like, I know you're grieving. It just, that's like, that poses serious, like legal complications for me and, and, and Richard. And like, I just don't know. No, no, I know what it means. I know what it means.

I just like, guys said you want to cheer me up. I'd love to cheer you up. And what better than for us to have like this crazy whirlwind romance, legal battle, you know, like then now in our lives, I think that that's a good time to ever do that. It's always an accident. When?

Cause we're young enough now to learn from our mistakes later, but we're too old to let life pass us by. Richard. I, it may be, it's the grave talking, but if you don't do this, you're a horrible friend to me. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree by. Richard, I, maybe it's the grave talking, but if you don't do this, you're a horrible friend to me. I couldn't

agree more. Are you kidding? No, you guys are both crazy. Fine, fine! Cut to the altar. So we'll just do the standard vows, I guess. There's no way that you had time to write your own. Oh, I mean, if you didn't write your own, then I don't have to. Yeah, it's stupid. It's stupid. I guess I don't have to. You wrote your own, but went in the car? This is...

How? I've been planning for something like this. You never know. Hey, to quote one of the greatest minds of our time, life moves pretty fast. If you don't take a sec, if you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it.

Yeah, I don't know. And now the reading of the vows. Thank you, Father. I'll start. And from the heart. From the heart. Yes, I'll do it from the heart. This is crazy.

Chance, ever since Tommy said that it would mean a ton to him if we got married, that's when I kind of decided I would. And I hope that this kind of makes, Tommy, I hope this makes you feel better. And, you know, marriage or no marriage, you have family and us. I think that's good enough, right?

No way yours is longer than that. That's beautiful. I unfurl a scroll that goes down to the floor. Are you fucking kidding me? What is this printed on? That looks like a hide. Richard Michael Jenkins. I knew.

No way. From the day that you were born. We didn't know each other. That we were destined to be together. It was written in the stars and in Tommy's heart. And that's why he spoke it to us so clearly this afternoon. When he said that it would mean a lot to him for us to get married. You are a bright star and a bright soul. I will

love you for the rest of my days and hopefully, Tommy, you seeing this happen will bring you comfort and joy. But you know me. It's brought me more joy than anything in the world. I'm a wild bird. I can't be tied down. I need to live my life and get every life experience possible before I hit 28. Tell me, this is... And so, for that reason... Nowhere.

I don't. What? I throw the scroll and I'm in a long long bridal train And I start running down the aisle Are you kidding me? I can't do this I'm Oh my fucking

Tommy I'm so sorry about this No this was This was better than I even fucking hoped Cause now I know that she's really He's really fucking following his passion. What, man? This is insane.

Now I can say I left someone at the altar. Tommy stands up. This is what I needed. Are you happy, mom? The priest is tearing up. This is, are you kidding? This isn't beautiful. No way this is beautiful to you.

And so that's what we'd like to pitch to A24. We think you'd be a perfect house for this kind of coming of age film that travels over time, space, romance, love, loss, and finding yourself in your 20s. The executive is like leaned back in his chair on his phone barely paying attention what oh yeah sure uh four million dollars get paul dano in it somehow and just if we shoot it cool people will fucking go to it i don't care it's good do you

think do you think this guy's hot shows you a raya profile uh Yeah. Cool, yeah. That's what I thought. All right, I'll go. All right, cool. We validate. It's book smart, too. Leave. All right, should we bring our, or we should take a break,

and then we should come back with our first guest of the day. Special guests. Ah, our first special guests. That's a lot of guests. Our first out of the many special guests. Yeah. Can you believe it? Oh, God.

Are you drunk? Yeah. You should just... Yeah, you didn't have to think about it. And we're back. Riley's chomping on a raw bell pepper. Not anymore. I just swallowed it. Swallowed chunks.

I saw you didn't chew it fully. Don't say swallowed chunks. Without further ado, we should bring on our guests. Without further ado, let's bring on some of our favorite guests we've ever had. Please welcome to the show, fan favorite guests, our favorite people. Well, actually, you know what? I like my dad a lot.

My mom's pretty cool. Jeffrey. But please welcome to today's show for our hundredth episode, Billy Scafuri and Adam Lustick from the No Joke Podcast. Jeffrey, question. Yes. So obviously mom and dad are in first and second position,

but now I'm going to make you choose between your favorite kids. Who is in third and who is in fourth between Adam and I? Let's go third. The quiver. The quiver. Billy. Billy in fourth. Billy in fourth.

That's fair. That's fair. What is that based on? Just out of curiosity. I humbly accept the bronze. It's based on the fact that you and I have only ever had good communication. And on the last couple of HeadGum podcasts, Billy's kind of tried to sabotage the show from within.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. I was going to mention on this podcast, A, it's lovely to be on this podcast because Riley is here. Oh, thank you. But the on-off switch of mean Jeff to sweet Jeff is art, folks. It's whiplash.

It's real whiplash. That's a hairpin turn. Absolutely is. And as the guest, I also have to go in saying, you're not mean to Jeffrey on this program. So you're getting nice guest from Billy today, Jeff. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Thank you guys so much for being here.

Thank you for having us. Congratulations on one hundo. Thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you for having us. Congratulations on one hundo. Thank you. It's really crazy. And before you guys got here, we were talking about some of our favorite memories from the show, just things that we could pull. And of course, we came back to y'all's episode at Old Navy.

And Adam is just the king, the king of the Navy. The, uh, the foreign exchange student. Yeah. My favorite was the third one where we were customer service. I really, customer service was also great.

I haven't dropped so many F bombs in the podcast. So rude. Oh, so great. Uh, so we're so happy to have you back now. And for today's episode, since you know, our show is all about reviews, and it is a podcast, and you both have a podcast,

a very funny, incredible podcast. Again, if you haven't listened to it, which if you're listening to this, you probably have, no joke podcast. We are reviewing reviews of all of our podcasts. You could only. You could only. We could only. Only for the 100th episode. That's right.

So Jeff pulled a review of the No Joke Pod. Oh, God. I don't know what it is yet. Okay. Of all the people to pick a review for the No Joke Pod, it had to be Jeff. It had to be me. All right, are we all ready yes sir born ready

this is a five star review as one is want to do of your guys' show from Dan Herrero Dev five stars the title is more than just a podcast oh I don't think so that's interesting because we don't do any video content so we are really just a podcast.

I think it's an inside joke from the show, an episode like early pandemic. So here we go. Yes, this is a fantastic podcast. But it's so much more than that. It's also a Hall of Fame located in Reno, Nevada. Yeah. That's right. That's the beginning and end of the review.

That is it. so the review started with a simple affirmative yes yes yes it is a podcast it's also so much more than that i i just love someone treating something with such reverence that they actually overstep and over put too much emphasis on something to the point where it's incorrect. Well, Adam and I can actually relate to that because I think that our default setting is sincere. And sometimes in the world of trying to be funny, sincerity is just like, what on earth are you talking about right now?

Well, have you guys seen the billboards? Because kindness is actually making a comeback. It's in, it's back in, right? It's in. Kindness is back in? Yes. That's a good note for you, Jeffrey. I said I'd be a nice guest,

but that's just a good reminder. Just a subtle reminder for all of the podcasts you host. I try to channel Woodstock 99 in my comedy, so it's just utter chaos. You just throw plastic on the ground while you do stand up. Yeah, and I charge people

for human necessities. Right. I feel like that the energy of being so overly kind of like meeting, meeting your partner's parents and that it's like whatever they do is, is, is unbelievable. It's like, oh, you know, Mr. Johnson, you, this, this oatmeal you made, I've, this is like unbelievable. Can I just say like, first of all, thank you so much for having us in your home for brunch.

Second of all, this oatmeal, like, can I get the recipe? I mean, like, Chris, like you didn't tell me your dad made oatmeal like this. Chris, wow. This is just Quaker oats. This is just, as you can see, just a standard Quaker tap water from the faucet. Stop it. No way. It's just that.

I mean, I guess you could say it's my special recipe. I make it every so often, but it's just tap water from the faucet. How often? Because it seems like you've perfected it. I couldn't agree more. Well, thank you, Peter, who's also sitting at the table right now. I'm here as well. I mean, maybe someone put brown sugar in the pot when I wasn't looking, but you guys are, you're, I like these friends,

Chris. I like these friends a whole lot. They can come over for breakfast anytime. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Um, and guys, you can,

you know, I know that you guys are staying here. You know, you guys are my college friends. You didn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving break, but you don't have to like, you don't have to like, yes,

man, my dad, like it's kind of like, first of all, I would never, Chris, your dad doesn't need any. Yes.

He's literally, he is basically the physical embodiment of yes. If you think he is the yes man. Yeah, but that's exactly what I'm talking about. I think he's I mean, your dad, you're great. You're great in my eyes, but I think objectively you're fine. Chris, Chris, just let your friends talk. And in fact, friends, if you guys want to stick around past Thanksgiving, I know the next set of holidays are only 30 days away. If you want to take classes at home, I'm sure that I could kind of provide more oatmeal.

Mr. Johnson, stop it. Stop it. My wife goes to Costco. She gets the big jugs of oatmeal. Chris is out of the house most of the day. So if there's more mouths to feed with my very special blend of oat and faucet, I'm here to provide. That would be great. I have nowhere to be for Christmas or, frankly, all winter.

So I could hang around. We could just take classes at home like we have in-person classes now. We can try. I think it's a very simple remedy here. We can just take Chris's room, pull out the bed, pull out all of his personal paraphernalia, the posters that he loves, all of his personal items. Don't call it paraphernalia. I'm not smoking heroin in there. No one's saying you're smoking heroin, son.

I'm just saying that we can turn your bedroom into an office. Yeah, Chris, your dad literally didn't say that. He didn't say, he didn't mention heroin. He said paraphernalia. It's just. Your dad's actually like saying, he was being so kind. He's like, we can turn this house into a home for you. Your home away from home, away from your family.

And you're saying like your dad thinks you're smoking heroin. That's literally not what he said., we can turn this house into a home for you. You're home away from home when you're away from your family and you're saying like your dad thinks you're smoking heroin. That's literally not what he said. Chris, can I ask you to leave the room for a second? This is crazy, but yeah. Chris, go in the garage. Yeah, go in the garage.

I'll step outside. Chris, take a lap, please. Chris, we're not going to, I'm not going to speak until I hear the garage door close. All right, I'm leaving. Close the garage door. Hey, you two.

I just gotta say, you are so much cooler than my kids. Oh, Mr. Johnson. I have to say, it's totally mutual. You are so much cooler than Chris.

I barely like Chris. I barely like, I hate Chris. I hate Chris. Okay, thank you. I hate Chris too. Oh my God, If there's two things

I say to my wife every morning when we wake up, I roll over and I say, honey. I hate Chris too. Oh my God, you said it first. If there's two things I say to my wife every morning when we wake up, I roll over and I say, honey, I hate Chris and I make the world's best oatmeal. And you're right on both accounts. And to hear it at my table

with two of his closest friends or even medium friends, I don't know where you stand in his social structure. It doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter anymore. And here's why Chris is gone. When Chris comes back, I'm going to have a serious conversation with Chris it just feels

like even before Chris went to the garage all those seconds ago I just felt like as soon as I met you I was like oh I'm destined to be closer with Chris's dad and Chris like that was obvious almost from the beginning Mr. Johnson like I like I love you more than I love my own dad like and I love you

oh my god I don't know your name we haven't met your character's name yet but I love you it doesn't even matter I don't have one it doesn't matter what? I just got bored and it's kind of like the longer it goes on the more hurt I kind of felt

well then this might not be what you want to hear I know that you're in a hurt place right now and you've been standing in the garage for- I just feel alienated. Like I took these friends home to do something nice. Don't feel alienated. Don't feel alienated.

Don't feel alienated, Chris. He can't even talk. Like, sorry, Mr. Johnson, but he can't even talk. Chris, I think the solution to get you, I think a solution for all of our issues right now, whether it's the oatmeal issue, whether it's your attitude, your heroin addiction, or inability to say-

I don't do heroin. I mean-ated. I think that what you need to do- You called the posters and art in my room paraphernalia. whether it's the oatmeal issue, whether it's your attitude, your heroin addiction, or inability to say, I don't do heroin. I mean, I think that what you need to do. You called the posters and art in my room paraphernalia. Head back to school. You could take your mother's car as a treat. You could take your mother's car,

the Taurus. That's so generous. That's really nice of you, Mr. Johnson. That's way more than he deserves. Stay there through the holidays. Your friends will stay at home. We'll take down all of your paraphernalia.

Thoughts, buddy? I hate driving the Taurus. It's the worst sedan because it's so big. Chris, be your mom's car. Be grateful. It's a fantastic, it's the best car I've ever seen. Literally, this is a gift. Listen to your nameless friend.

Listen to your nameless friend and take the Taurus. This is Tyler and that is Renee. All right. His name is Peter. Get out of here, Chris. You're out. Fine. Fine.

This is, you know what? You guys think it's all fun and games because it's only Tuesday night on the holiday break. Easy to get along. But on Thanksgiving, when he's forcing you guys to make a bunch of sides, because the only thing he knows how to make is oats and water. I love that. No, absolutely no. You guys aren't going to get along because I don't think you have even one thing in common other than, I guess, loving him.

And hating you. And hating you. That's two things. Those are two really big things, Chris. I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson. I don't need to overstep my bounds. But when you were in the garage, Chris, and again, Mr. Johnson, please,

I don't mean to speak ill of anyone. Call me Tyler. My name is Tyler. He's just all over the place right now. It's the heroines. Sorry, Tyler. I don't do heroin. Chris, if there's any way I could puncture your heroin haze

so you could hear me for a second, I just want to kind of pierce that heroin haze and just say we talked about you when you were standing in the garage all those seconds ago. I thought you did kind of pierce that heroin haze and just say, we talked about you when you were standing in the garage all those seconds ago. I thought you did. No, we were.

Don't raise your voice, Chris. Sorry. Peter's talking. Yeah, please don't raise your voice at Tyler. Did you say don't use my voice or don't raise my voice? Well, both.

Don't do either. If you have to ask. Please let Peter talk. Sorry, Peter finished. Son, let Peter talk. All I was saying was that we discussed it and we were saying how,

and we didn't say this in the moment, but I'm sort of extrapolating here. Remember that television show? Everybody hates Chris. Do you remember that? I love that show. We decided that a lot of hijinks in the show,

but please be serious for a second because please try to focus because we were talking about not about the show. Everyone hates Chris, but we were talking about how we all hate you, Chris. Everybody hates Chris. Hates Chris. Yeah.

Just so you don't feel out of the loop, what we were talking about in your childhood kitchen, but that is what we were talking about. You don't need to respond, but that's just a fact. Here's your option B, son. You could take the Taurus, head back to college for 45 days, come back with an improved attitude, and maybe the three of us will open up the door what attitude did i have that's a big the same attitude that you just responded to my sentence with the second the second option is you try the oatmeal and you try and taste it and you try and taste it like you're two friends that's that is option b try the oatmeal or go away for a month and a half. Okay.

This is, I mean, all right. Slides the bowl in front of Chris. Thanks a lot. Smells good. I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson. I love how you narrate everything you do. Like, can I just say that I think that is one of the coolest traits about you. And I wish Chris could.

You can say that. It's really just charming. It's one of his least charming traits. But yeah, here we go. Try the oatmeal, Chris. One bite. It's really good oatmeal, Dad. Finally, some honesty. What'd you put in this?

Faucet water and Quakers. It's just faucet water and Quakers. I'm writing that down, Mr. Johnson. I can't be around this. I'm going back to school. Johnson. I'm writing that down. I can't be around this. I'm going back to school. Okay, have fun at the Taurus. Fill it with oatmeal. Fill the Taurus with oatmeal? Why? Absolutely why.

Fill the Taurus with oatmeal. Fill the Taurus with oatmeal, Chris. I don't think so. Because that has nothing to do with anything we've been talking about. Just fill the Taurus with oatmeal. Open your mind. It's not a small thing. I don't do heroin. Kick your heroin addiction. Take your paraphernalia.

Hit the road and fill the Taurus with oatmeal. Tyler, does Crystal have that Woodstock 99 poster hanging on his wall? That Woodstock paraphernalia? Yes, it's covered in plastic. It's covered in pollution. It's covered in plastic and pollution. Heroin. It's covered in glass because I got it framed.

This is unbelievable. Fine, I'm gone. I'm putting it in the Taurus. This is fucked up, by the way. This isn't cool. Chris, Chris, not in the gas tank. In the back seat. Pour the oatmeal on the back seat.

What are you doing filling the gas tank with oatmeal? I was just putting it in the gas tank. I was just putting it in bowls in the back. You want me to spill it out into the back seat? Yes, your mother loves those bowls. Your mothers, both of your mothers loves those bowls. This is insane. This is also,

you should be looking for a job. Haven't you been laid off for like 30 days? I'm going to open an oatmeal restaurant. We discussed this. What do you mean don't? You just tried it. I'm gone. He drives off. What do you mean don't? You just tried it. I'm gone. He drives off. So do you two want to

work at my oatmeal restaurant? Because I'm looking for staff. I would love it. I actually have a name idea if you would be open to hearing it, Tyler. I am all ears and maybe it'll be our blackout line. The Burlington Oat Factory. End scene. The Burlington Oat Factory. End scene. The Burlington Oat Factory.

The Burlington Oat Factory. That's going to- They don't even try to come up with a couple more names. He's like, that'll work. That works. That's going to be the takeaway line on Discord next week. So I'm looking forward to seeing the Burlington Oat Factory in all caps from someone. That also might be merch.

Burlington Oat Factory. Billy, Adam, 100 episodes. Congratulations. We'll end off on this. Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you guys so much. You guys are just the best. You're just the best.

Let's end on this. What does review review mean to you? No. In 100 episodes. Review review represents to me a really fun closing of the circle. In so much as Adam and I met you when you both were starting on your first day. You did not have a podcast. You did not have a distinguished role quite yet in the company.

You were going to figure it out. It's 100 episodes later. You two both fully exist in the HeadGum universe. You carry torches. Both of your podcasts are spectacular. And onward, dudes. Good work. Namaste.

And then Adam, top that. Amen. I would just say it's my favorite oatmeal-based podcast on the HeadGum network. And that's saying a lot. You don't have to say that. You don't have to say that. No, I mean it.

I mean it, Riley. I mean that. This is Peter. This is Peter again now. This is Peter. It's a hard one to shake that. You don't have to say that. I mean it, Riley. I mean that. This is Peter. This is Peter again now. This is Peter. It's a hard one to shake off. Peter the pleaser. I live in my characters for weeks on end.

It's a problem. But you guys are the best. You guys are wonderful mentions. I'm so happy for your success. Thank you for this fantastic podcast. It means the world to me. I hope you don't mind that I'm going to leave the Review Podcast in my son. I hope that that's not a problem

for you guys, that I'm going to leave your podcast in my will to my son. We can talk about it later. We can talk about the legal ramifications about that later. We're just signing off. That's heavy. No, I actually love that. Great. Let's finalize it before you guys leave. Let me use e-forms.

No, but thank you guys so much for coming on. That's so kind. And it is a wild full circle moment. Plug the no joke podcast. We've said it a bunch, but keep listening. If you haven't,

give it a shot. Why not? Please. New episodes every Friday. Yeah. Literally. Why wouldn't you do it? Right.

It's free. Thank you guys so, so much again for coming. And I'm just so pleased. And Jeff's mad again now, but it was nice while it lasted, you know? It's that heroin addiction. It's that heroin addiction. But we love you, Riley. I don't do that.

We love you. Congrats, guys. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Peace. Bye, guys. Bye. congrats guys thank you guys peace bye guys bye alright

what a slog what a what a slog what's a slog it was just like that was tough is that a word what's slog

yeah slog you've never heard the word slog work hard over period of time. Oh, wait. A spell of difficult, tiring work. Wow, I just learned a new word live on air. That was a slog. That was a slog.

And if that was a slog, our next two guests are going to be even worse. Oh, Jesus Christ. Wait, can we just not bring them on? I feel like we should bring them on and just keep them on mute so that they feel like they're a part of it it's just like so we don't have to deal with the bullshit at first when we were like we should bring them on it sounded like a good idea but now it's just like

now this is going to be a slog if I know a slog this is a slog alright but let's just get it over with let's humor them let's humor them they really need this i guess i'll say that we can do so much for their careers by having them on the show right now and we can do better is what i would say absolutely we can do better it's but it's like yeah hey guys

yeah we're here we're here sorry should i um record like should i record i started recording i felt like i wanted to get on record that i didn't just get like the tail end of that i feel like i got a good chunk of it yeah like a lot of meat on that for sure a lot of meat on that bone but it falls off we were also waiting eight minutes eight minutes you were waiting yeah yeah so because you said at 245 it's at 253 and you sort of let us in a zoom rating room um for eight minutes you brought us in like 10 seconds too early and we heard just like how much of bad mouthing and you haven't let us know if we should be recording it was vitriol well it was earned i mean you guys waited what eight

minutes we waited three years to get this show and that was three years too long so let's just introduce i'm here start recording let's get this over with i guess we actually we asked you i already was sorry i just want to say we asked you repeatedly throughout your internship uh to start a podcast we it got to the point where it was it was almost weird that you didn't you we asked you to start a podcast you made a video series instead whatever let's fucking we're here now it is three years too late but it's like we're here now we don three years too late no but it's like we're here now we don't need to be upset because it's like you can't change

the past the only thing you can do is like affect the future didn't you also record an episode of a show that wasn't good and then i gave you the idea of review review

no that one was gold it's just it was like we weren't getting what was it we weren't getting the productions we weren't getting the productions before we needed and it's like we

didn't in the pilot what was it it was what weren't getting the productions. We weren't getting the productions before we needed it. And it's like, we didn't. In the pilot? What was it? It was, what was it? Quickspiracies. It was improvised conspiracy theories. Yeah. Oh, interesting. I do want to take, I take offense with you thinking that you came up with review, review

Amir. Cause really, it was actually, it was me. Really? So. I've been telling everybody that Amir came up with it cause Amir pitched it to us. Yeah. Amir very much. He's like, here's the the idea that i had if you guys want to use it and that's how i remember it too so i'm curious so you told it to me and then didn't do anything and then i said that i can't i mean i don't know at what point it changed from my idea to yours um yeah i know i

actually really like this idea of it being jake's. That's actually... It's easier to swallow in a way. If it can't be our idea, I'm glad that it was at least Jake's. 100%. If it's not going to be an original, let's make it Hurwitz. You were going to say original. If it can't be original, let's make it a Hurwitz what?

If it's not an original IP, let's make it a Hurwitz IP original. Yeah, original. Original. Yeah, original. Oh, shit. Jake Hurwitz, welcome to the show. Thank you. Your first solo guest on Review Review. A hundred percent.

A hundred percent. The fucking show that I thought of. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Full circle. I'm also here. First solo guest. It's so full circle

and so perfect that the person who came up with the idea, Jake, is on the show. And I think I speak for both Riley and I that it's an honor. It's absolutely an honor, but it's not only the person who came up with the show, but it's the only person who brought Jeff and I together and like made that happen a full circle way like it's all at the end of the day it's all jake yeah wow not really i don't i mean i it's

tough because i don't disagree yeah so i i you know i'm usually demure from compliments i'm usually like you deserve this shy away i will accept it and that's the thing don't feel weird about getting compliments like just accept it and feel that love because it's all for you and it's all

and then anything otherwise would be all for not if that makes sense so to introduce Amir who's also here I guess it does make sense would be not

wait Blumenfeld turn on your video Amir turn on your video I was it is on I was on the whole time turn on your mic oh you know what it is

his energy is so dark it was almost like it was a blackout screen like it wasn't Amir, turn on your video. I was on the whole time. Turn on your mic. Oh, you know what it is? His energy is so dark, it was almost like it was a blackout screen. Like it wasn't. Amir! We're here. Thank you for coming on. This is crazy. I'm sorry we didn't prep for this, but thanks for being here for F100. Plan Jake guest and this kind of surprise drop-in who I guess tagged along because he

had nothing else to do. I guess I shared, I must have shared my calendar with him. What's that? Plugs? No. It's early. Whenever. I feel like we'll fucking forget it on the day.

So let's get it now and then Jeff can weave it in organically afterwards. So you admit this was inorganic the way you brought it up. My Twitter is just Bloomin' Fell. Your Twitter's in the shitter. Because the last thing you tweeted was about Corn Elder. And that's bullshit to read. Corn Elder. Yes, the Panthers signed a cornerback named Corn.

Last name Elder. Wow, that's good. yes the Panthers signed a cornerback named Corn last name Elder um wow that's good I guess we'll wrap it up with what we just asked Billy and Adam

should we just get into it Riley what do we think yes so um we as it is our hundredth episode of Review Review a podcast where we

talk about reviews congratulations thank you um we thought what better theme than to review reviews of our respective shows so

we did a review of the review we did a review of the no joke pod and now Jeff has found a review of if I were you yeah wow if I review and that's what our tour is going to be called when we eventually tour Ohio for some reason

yeah yeah yeah the rust belt tour 2022 if I review if i review uh this is a five star review from zach story whoa five star thanks for picking that one out the history of zach the story of zach uh daniel cut out everything i'm here said um all right uh five star the title is Yes Dude, which is kind of like funny because you guys kind of say that all the time. Jeff, sorry, can I just like bring it up?

Oh, the energy? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me focus on you then, you and Jake, because you guys bring me joy. Okay. Sweet. Yeah, put it on speaker view

because then you'll see, I feel like then it kind of prioritizes me and Riley. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Speaker review. Oh, no, because he just popped up. Now he's full screen, yeah. see I feel like then it kind of prioritizes me and Riley yeah yeah yeah speaker review now he's full screen you can pin a video I'm gonna pin Jake yeah

alright five stars I prefer gallery mode sorry even when Jake's pinned because I hear the voice and it's grating it's degrading it's voice and it's grating. It's grating. It's degrading. It's great. Definitely.

Yeah. It's just grating. It's great and. It's great and. Five stars. Most definitely a yes, dude. This is the best podcast I've ever listened to, top to bottom, except one episode. One episode was horrible. For forgot which one it was though

but out of almost 300 episodes one episode being bad is pretty good thanks yeah that is pretty good 299 of 300 yeah to be great that's but that one if i could remember it was like dog shit that one episode like you shouldn't have even released it. It was so bad. They're also similar. Was it one of the ones that Jeffrey guessed it on? You know what? For the life of me, I cannot remember.

But it was, I mean, like it still haunts me. Yeah. There was one with just Jeff and Riley and Jake wasn't even on it. Oh, yeah. I wonder if it was that one. Well, that one was gold because that was Rich Thick Chicken. Rich Thick Chicken. I remember that.

That was a classic. Jake, did you ever listen to that episode? No. No, I did not. Holy shit. I mean, I never listened to the podcast. Say it. Yeah, there it is. I don't listen to the podcast. Say it. Yeah, there it is.

I don't listen to our show. Right, because you're on it, but this episode you weren't on. But I thought you'd be interested to see how it went. Yeah, it's interesting. I guess I wasn't on it because I was really busy at the time. And then I must have missed it. I'm really sorry. I feel like that really fucking put a damper on Remember like a minute ago

We were all kind of Chiding a mirror I'm gonna pin a mirror actually Yeah let's do that Remember grading and degrading It is but like Yeah but the degrading thing was actually a funny pun And then he said great and which was pretty funny

Yeah he was making us laugh Yeah I thought of an i was i was gonna say gray dan like uh dan was gray dan like dan was gray what the fuck does that even mean dan i was just trying to yeah i was trying to like pile on i don't know what i really even know i feel like this fucking killed the mood and the camaraderie between. Yes. I guess if anything, I'm happy that the three of you guys feel a little more. It totally did.

Let's just get into the improv. All right. So it's like an artist at his gallery opening doing an interview with or doing a press conference. Mr. Zan. Mr. Zan. San Francisco Chronicle. conference. Mr. Zan? Mr. Zan? San Francisco Chronicle. Yeah. You.

You can ask me a question. I am Mr. Zan. Proceed with caution. With caution? With caution? Caution. You just missed... Fine.

We have to say this is one of the most successful gallery opens the mission the gallery has ever had. The turnout's on the ground. I love you, Zan! we have to say this is one of the most successful gallery opens the mission galleries ever had I love you Zan go Zan thank you sorry about that I have

millions of Zans no no no I call them Zans cause they're fans that guy actually stands Zan thank you Zan the man yes a bunch of my Zans are fans of the zan are actually stands seems unrelated to the gallery a hundred percent i'm not gonna show

sorry one second i'm just i need to address this i'm not gonna be showing my ass at this press conference everybody reacts oh whole or nothing z that, like, part of your art? Because I'm new to your art, and I don't... All moon people, here we go, ready? He's doing it! Yeah! All right, now we can focus on the question at Zan. That's a hand, but Zan.

No, just hand. Listen, this is my first time seeing your art. I walked through all the gallery, and I have to say, I liked every piece. It was unbelievable, every piece. Is that for one? Not a question, but carry on. The question is, can you speak to that? No.

I can't speak to your experience of my art. All right. Yeah. Mr. Zan? Mr. Zan? Got a question over there. Tracy Els from the LA Times. I mean, you've done it again.

You've done it again. But I would like to comment on the journalist from the San Francisco Chronicle, your question. Kidding me. No, no, no. I couldn't agree more. I thought this opening was a triumph. Thank you. And clearly all of your Zans think so too

show us your ass again Zans how are they not satisfied by the first time sorry one second I just have to address this because they won't shut up about it I'll only be showing my ass once and I already did it thank you okay and can I get that

and that will go to print it just seems like their appetite is for my ass is insatiable. Yes, if I showed it again, I bet they would be equally upset and angry that I didn't show it a third time. Well, Ms. Suzanne, I would just... All right, you know what? Just for the sake of keeping that guy quiet,

I'm literally just going to show my ass throughout the entire press conference. So I'm going to face away from you guys. Moon him this fucking Zan stand and try to answer as many questions as possible. The rest of your Zans have left. This is the one Zan stand left in. Here we go.

You're the man, Zan. All right. Not really. Thank you. All right. Guys, just ask the question at this point. My ass is out and I'm on bended ass. All right. I will a ask the question at this point. My ass is out, and I'm on bended ass. All right.

I will avert my eyes to protect your modesty, Mr. Zan. I just have to ask, why did you keep this piece in the show? The one that sucks other than the other ones. Well, I was going to say the one that is not as successful, but yes, frankly, the one that sucks ass. I mean, odds are you guys aren't even talking about the same one we look at each other on the three at the same time let's three two one and then we'll say which one it is three two one it's the one in the corner of the guy who's blue and also sad and getting blown yes. Yes. Yep. Mr. Zan, question.

My name is Connor Zan. I'm your number one fan. The Zan Stan. Yeah, you're the one who's just staring at my asshole. Yep. What do you want? My favorite piece is the blue one in the corner. See, there you go.

Like, we can't literally please them all. Like, I have to take my fucking pants off to have this guy be happy. How much for the blue piece in the corner? It's not for sale, but thank you so much for appreciating. And you can see that sort of answers my question, which is like, you know,

I can't tailor make the entire gallery so that everybody loves everything at the same time. Well, it does seem like you are keeping this piece just for this one Zan stand alone. Almost as if he commissioned the piece. He helped because he paid me a lot of money in terms of taking my pants off while I created it.

And now that it's done, it is his favorite piece. And it's a really nice piece. And I appreciate him actually funding the piece. Pull your pants up, Zan. Why don't you pull your pants up? Why do you want them up now? You were yelling at him to moon you, and now... What I care for is the reveal.

It is the worst piece. What I care for is the reveal. This is supposed to be a closed press conference to only people with accreditations. I have an accreditation. I run the Zan fan zine. This is a sub stack. You have a zine?

Anybody can have a zine, yeah. It's a medium.com blog post slash sub stack i'm looking at your fucking necklace it's a subs anybody can have a zine yeah it's a medium.com blog post slash sub stack patreon and but i'm the only member because he sort of pays me to get naked and draw art so he's a so you're you're uh you're a patron of the arts but you just want to see his ass is this a question for me it was but i regret asking both of you now am i being interviewed by journalists holy shit move aside that legitimizes you too and he's on the stage this is fucking crazy no this is interesting i would like to ask him a few questions now um sir i'm so sorry i've your name. You're just such a big personality. Connor Dan, he said.

Connor Dan. Connor Dan, the Zan Stan fan, of course. Connor Dan, how did you get, thank you. How did you get, how were you introduced to Mr. Zan? What was the first time you saw his work? You don't have to answer that, by the way. You don't like, they ask questions. You can always say it's none of your business.

Connor freezes up and is afraid to speak don't see he's probably fine just it's the simplest club let me ask you one quick Connor mr. Dan easy just relax your. It has almost nothing to do with the art, actually. I'm just kind of wondering how old you are, because you could be 50 or 9, because you have either adult braces or appropriately aged braces. Either way, they're clear and stained by

Coca-Cola. I have braces that I got when I was 9, and I am 59, so they were child braces that have... You've had braces for 50 years. My orthodontist died when I was 11, and I get a new one. By the way, I had nothing to do with that. Yeah. Obviously.

Obviously. The question was not posed to you, Mr. Zan, but thank you for your commentary. Yep. Now I have a question for you, Mr. Zan. Yes. Nope, that's Mr. Dan. That's Mr. Dan. Sorry.

I misheard he falls off the stage there you go he fell off his chair with such force as if he'd been pushed and he had not touch him do not touch him do not even address him i think one more question one more question and then we'll get the fuck out of here please don't swear but yeah continue uh mr zan i i have a question for you. I'm pulling my pants up, by the way. This is absurd. Thank you.

I'm no longer like, I don't know. I'm not under this guy's thumb. You said you liked the reveal. You said that you liked the reveal, and you were the one who told him to put his pants up. You're upset now that he has his pants on. I'm concussed. Okay.

Mr. Zan, what's next for you? Later today, I will be exposing myself to Connor Dan while I paint a sculpture that he commissioned for his zine slash medium post and his Patreon. After that, I'll be getting ramen with my wife. Who used to be married to my orthodontist, by the way. Is that true? So that's how you met each other.

Unrelated. So that's how you know each other. Absolutely unrelated. No, but you get to see how crazy it is that that's unrelated. It either is or you're being shy about it. My real name, if you have to know, and I changed it. Yeah. It's Stuart Sink, which is the name of a golfer who was popular when I was coming of age, so I changed it to Zan.

X, Y, and X. The last X is silent. None of this even matters because this whole fucking press conference is bunk slash unnecessary. You like the stuff. You like the art. Except for the one. Enjoy it. Yes, except for the one. Except for the one. Except for the blue. Blue, the guy in the corner. Except like the stuff. You like the art. Enjoy it. Except for the one.

Except for the one. Except for the blue. Except for the one. Also, you can't smoke in here. You absolutely can't smoke in here. You're lighting up a Marlboro Red. That's been the case that you can't smoke in buildings for decades. So don't be surprised or like you should know. I thought this was private property.

But yeah, I guess I understood. Yeah, it's private property. Yeah. Thank you to Stewart's Sink. No, do not call me that. Well, that was a wash. That was a fucking slag. I thought it was fine.

I thought it was funny. No, the ass shit was funny. That was all of it. We went blue. The press conference was good. That scene was good that scene was good that was the whole scene so you liked it well the one part about the press conference

will do what do you mean it'll be in the episode great thank you guys for coming on thank you guys for coming do you guys want to stay on for our last segment or do you guys have to go what's the last segment?

What's the last segment? It's this shook me all the week long and it's just something that's been shaking you. Wait, you have to ask what you asked Billy and Adam. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, here we fucking are. 100 episodes of Review Review. What does Review Review mean to you? Don't hold back.

Is it too late to say no, we don't want to be part of the last segment? No, this part's not optional. And take your time. Milk it, actually. Review Review will always be a massive part of the story of HeadGum. That being said. We're being let go. The Vietnam War is also a story in the fucking tale of america like not every part of a story is

considered a good thing to have in the story daniel uh daniel cut out a mere comparing review review to the vietnam war now keep it in because i want his character to be defamed no our characters keep it out now let me let me take that again clean korean war i would compare it to a great war the first great war so world war one yeah well at least it's great because it's great it's it's great wow holy shit wow tried to give you a fucking compliment starving for a juice i'm sorry i just like i could really go for a fucking pressed juice and so they wait so order one i mean not even no don't even like fucking i wouldn't even like entertain this yeah like power through the last 10 minutes of your fucking show The last segment our goodbye our plugs and then thank the patrons

That's literally all we have to do We're doing that I don't know why I always have to fill the fucking silence We're not right now you were like I fucking want a juice Wow Wow That was the most mundane Thing to say

That you asked for a juice What are you shocked by you don't need to fill the silence you don't just have to fill it it's like if you have nothing to say you don't have to say it you don't have to pull shit out of your ass like by the way how do you be starving for a juice they're like barely filling it all

if you're hungry then you want something more we got the answer do you guys want to stick around for the fucking last segment I don't yes it's sort of fun it's sort of fun go i'll stay i'll represent the both of us yeah i mean it could be the other way around but like i don't want you guys to have to choose favorite like i don't want to say who you guys rather have like would you would you even feel comfortable answering that kind of question we don't't have to. We get to.

We picked Jake. We get the privilege of telling you that it's Jake. And he's gone. Damn it, Jake's gone. Here we go. No. This should be all week long. Amir, what's been shaking you? Something that you've been thinking about, struggling with, what's been on your mind,

et cetera. The floor is yours. It's Monday. So like all week long, you mean like for the last two hours? No, yeah. The last two hours. What's been shaking you in the last two hours of your life? Whatever's fun for audio and you should know.

Yeah. AT&T fiber is finally being installed in my neighborhood. I can finally unshackle myself from the prison that is Spectrum Cable. I can finally unshackle myself from the prison that is Sam. Sam Spectrum Shackle. That's it? That's what i'm looking forward to yeah it's coming uh i'm gonna be getting some blazing fast download and upload speeds can't wait to share my fucking my internet speed test results with everybody this girl is on fiber. Yeah. We didn't start the fiber. The fiber, yeah.

What else is new? What else is fiber? Riley, what's been shaking you? What has been shaking me? I mean, now that's an interesting question now that's really something ask it um well I mean and I figure since this and I can go I can go no no I mean like I can go and I figure since it's 100th episode it's like why not stick to tradition of like yeah let me take my sweet time not because I'm looking for something to say so much as like I'm just like

now I'm just like milking the moment because I feel like this is really fun for audio. In a way. Don't say things like fun for audio. You literally said what? You literally said that to Amir. You literally said that to Amir. What's good for oral? What is good for oral?

What? A-U-R-A-L Oral. You go. What's your name, Jeffrey? Now we both learned the word. Slog and oral. I know what oral is. Really?

But you said it like oral and it's oral. Oral. It's not oral. It's oral. Oral? I'm here. You say it. What about oral?

Okay, that's not it. But Jeff, you say it again. It's oral. It's pronounced the same way. What about oral B? So it's like Cardi starts a podcast. But Jeff, you say it again. It's oral. It's pronounced the same way. What about oral B? So it's like Cardi starts a podcast about toothpaste. What's your, what's shaking you?

Because obviously I don't have one, right? Oh, cover's blown. Old Anspa's got to think of something. What's been shaking me is that I got LASIK. We haven't talked about it yet. And you're basic. Come on. It's a 100th episode. You don't talked about it yet. And you're basic. Come on. No, it's like... You don't have to come at my throat like that.

Everybody heard it, and that's the meanest thing anyone's ever done. Let alone to me. What? A little joke is the meanest thing anyone's ever... Anyone has ever done? Somebody gave you COVID. Someone gave you...

Yeah. Yeah. No, because that did happen. Right. No, I got LASIK. I have some subconjunctival hemorrhaging, so my eyes look crazy, but tomorrow it'll have been a week,

and then only 14 more days, tops of the red spots in my eyes, and then they're perfect forever. Beautiful. Shout out to... Shout out Amir, honestly honestly for giving me the uh uh the courage to do something i never thought possible and by that i mean start a podcast start a podcast yeah yeah also get lasik um but yeah i thought you were gonna

say also get laid also get laid uh no but i wake up and i can see which is crazy but i still have to use those like shields over my eyes which i don't love but those will be uh those will be off uh in a week from tomorrow so that's uh that's exciting uh riley what's been shaking you 100th episode this like this like f 100 is very very surreal and i'm um 100 episodes um I'm I'm just very this it's just very cool and exciting and yeah I'm just

I I'm so happy and grateful and also like you know equally as full circle to have like a billion atom

on for our 100th equally full circle to have Jake and Amir for up 100 and so thank you guys thank you amir uh any parting jake left so you don't have to jake thanks so much you could be like oh you're welcome riley

how cool to see you guys grow and like you know take off on your own yeah it doesn't fucking matter anymore actually um yeah actually. Yeah. You soured this. I'm fucking still here. There's no way that that made it worse than I should have left. Yeah, I should have left then. No, I guess what's the retrospective? Because you also were on episode 3,

we should say. And now here we are, episode 100. I should be on every 97. Every 97 episodes could be my cadence so the next one's gonna be 197 yeah and then after that 294 nice um well no uh from the bottom of my heart yeah thanks for giving us the show I'm here thank

you if it wasn't you it would have been a kind of lucrative offer from forever dog and he's gone um yeah I was gonna give him a chance to do plugs but I guess not Riley you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley and spot on Twitter at Riley coyote for another hundredth episodes we should say and maybe even more and definitely more

I'd love for it to be more you can follow Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at Jeff we are D you can find the can follow Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at JeffreyRD. You can find the show on Reddit, r slash review review on Twitter at review review show on Instagram at review review. And yeah, here's to a hundred plus more. I fucking love doing this show. A hundred more. And the next hundred are even going to be more fire

and even funnier. They're going to be stitching, stitching your sides, putting stitches in your sides. They're going to be like slicing and dicing so that you have to have

stitches in your sides because you're laughing so hard that your chest starts to get tight. Should we thank some patrons? Let's do that, yeah. Thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs for chastity. A national treasure, a good old-fashioned lover boy, America's sweetheart himself, Bob Buell.

And I really mean that. Aaron. Aaron Old Dobbin Coogan. Adam Shea. Aggie. A co in the key of God damn it, I thought I changed my name a week ago. And now I have to wait like two weeks just to hear this one. Alex Witt.

Anthony Amadeo. Austin lost his credit car, somebody's back now, baby. Beej. Brad Hild. Brian Dogg. Brungus Mink is dead. Ghoulia Bui-Dyfus is back. Chuck.

Caroline, the breadwinner, and Kinsey, the bread sinner. Chaston Bales. Chris Forgash. Clough. Connor Finnegan demands an apology from Jeffrey James for the way he was spoken to at this month's Zardy. Jeff, you may have had... I don't even... What am I supposed to respond?

Yeah, I've had what? Connor Finnegan... No, I feel like I killed it in terms of my interactions with Connor on the Zoom. I feel like everything was good. With Connor? Of course. No, I feel like I killed it in terms of my interactions with Connor on the Zoom. With Connor? I feel like everything was good. With Connor? Of course.

No, I fucking crushed that one. With Connor? Consider this an open invitation to Daddy Tuesday night's baby shower. And honestly, a gift or two wouldn't hurt to bring, Bob. Devin Clark Memmler is a real piece of work. Just the worst. Drinkle. Every night I shiver praying for a piece of clothing. Just the worst. Drinkle. Every night I shiver

praying for a piece of clothing to warm me. Like a review review hoodie. And you'll get that soon. Fancy octopus. Frito-Lay. Gabriel Castaneda. Gray James. Yeah. Jeff is his new step-poppy.

No way. Greg Berg old patron. Grahamstop Gme new patron holly i literally only subscribe to force jeffrey and riley to say trans right sexo xo i regret to inform you that it is damien kirk isaac puff new patron jack kwan jake the snake radiff jake olman jameson poncia still thinks it was funny as shit when r was a lemon on Jeff's Live. Congrats on LASIK, Jeff. Congrats on LASIK, Jeff. Oh, thank you! Thank you, Jameson. Jared.

Jeremy Brunner. Jesse Tipton. Jive Gosley. John Quinones. New patron. We met him at the Zoom. Yeah. Josh, just kind of a cool guy and please don't say otherwise or I'll be sad. Pike? JP, my sister thought dogs were cuter than babies, so when I was born, she barked for attention.

Caleb Luster. Kirbycher, right back at ya. Lauren Malang. Lord Hunter of the Gray. Maggie Anderson. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Beggle.

Moe Pete. Mooshu Lasagna. Michael Beggle. Moe Pete. Mooshu Lasagna. Nate Porteous New Pufftron. That's right, not a new patron, but a new Isaac Puff. No, it's Rorian Davier Zooey Landle. Nolan Murphy just got denied for a loan to, quote, Love My Life My Way. Sorry. I got it now.

Nolan Murphy just got denied for a loan. To quote, live my life my way, the bank said they didn't want that to happen. I don't think so. Of course he got denied. Nothing sometimes isn't even my real name. Orange, you glad it isn't Hallie? Patty Freaky Mayonnaise. Phoebe.

Kwok. Rooster Williams. Sabrina. Sam Armstrong. Scalby Lasso's Ramona was high on the Zardi and was, well, anxious. Shan to the bone. Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, Shan, to the ass ball.

Such a left turn. Slickety doodah, rickety day. Why oh why hasn't Bob Buell paid my stack? Soap. Space Ant. This catnip mask is making me high. This is a message for Jasper. DM at Tyrosambro on Twitter and he'll pay your subscription for six months.

Holy shit. Stop it. Holy shit. That is so ridiculously kind oh my god tj michael this one's just advice turn your it's so aggressively patronizing turn your passion into a career.

Uh-oh, Jasper's hemorrhaging cash by the fistful. We'll soon be fun employed. See you later. I'll miss you, Bob Buell. Willy Wonka's Willy Wanker. Xander Madsen. Yara Bouchard. Yasmin David.

And you thought I was gone, but here I am bringing up the rear. It's Agent Michael's card. Wow. Great round of names, and thank you guys so much for subscribing at the highest tier. We're entering our next 100 episode run era, so if you guys have been thinking about maybe becoming a patron,

you can subscribe for bonus content and live streams and merch and etc. Zardies! The Zardies are really the creme de la creme. That's a Zoom party. Yeah. On patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. But yeah, I guess I'll get heartfelt here at the end. Thank you guys for your listenership for 100 episodes.

It's been quite the rye to quote the opening theme song. And it'll only continue to get better, get bigger. Hopefully this next 100 episodes we'll have some live shows. We'll have some return guests, fan favorite guests, some bigger guests, some smaller guests, and everything else in between. And also hit up the Discord, I guess, and tell us who you'd like to see on the show next.

And we'll try and get them on. We haven't done that in a while. That's true. Yeah, thank you guys so much for listening. I mean mean this literally wouldn't be a show without you all listening it would just be uh what jeff and my text conversations look like but with no one else to listen to them um uh and and we love you all so much and and thank you for like contributing to this weird like awesome fucking community we've made through this. We're so grateful. Yeah.

Here's to the next 50. And then we'll take it from there and see where it goes. Let's not overpromise. I don't want to overpromise. Let's let's like for sure 50. And then after that, we'll see if like, oh, my God, if it'll still be a slog. If I'm even still around. What?

Well, like anything can happen, you know, so like I don't want to talk about death on the 100th episode. But basically, like I could. If it'll still be a slog. If I'm even still around. What? Well, like, anything can happen, you know? So, like, I don't want to talk about death on the 100th episode, but basically, like, I could... Got it. Let's just, like, go. Tree! A hundred episodes in the can behind our dams. It's like the animoji. And shout out to Riley.

Shout out to everyone at HeadGum who makes this show possible. Shout out to Riley shout out to everyone at head gum who makes the show possible shout out to Jeff Riley I wish she could be here so grateful that mr. James is here in his place it's your dad oh my god he kills it he fucking kills it and replaces me we go on the road all right we'll see you guys again uh either this friday or next tuesday i'm not sure but uh definitely next

tuesday no it might be this friday but also next friday if it's not this next friday 100 next tuesday because that's when we release episodes um no bonus episode i know no i think we have one oh okay see you then or not arriveder And then we'll do chi like a hundred times at the end there. And it'll be chi, chi, chi, chi, chi. And then that's like. That was a HeadGum Podcast.