Review Revue - Popsicles

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

This week on Review Revue; Reilly and Alf are back and they're really not having it.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm Content warning @1:20:00: Explosions This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

Jeffrey cannot guide you. Now you're on your own. Only Alf beside you. Still you're not alone no one is alone truly no one is alone sometimes people leave you halfway through the pod Others may deceive you When they're ginger and they're alt You podcast alone But no one is alone Review, review.

Um... That was beautiful. It was beautiful. That was a cover of No One Is Alone from Into the Woods. It's from Nolan Murphy. And Nolan goes, Heard your ass needed a theme song here you go you ungrateful little fucks sorry i haven't had a snickers today

anyway love you guys sorry it's a pretty short song and sort of dated love nolan uh and it's called riley is alone um here's the thing first of all it was beautiful never complain about sending a short theme song no no no no that was like pretty fantastic length um here's the thing did i tear up a little bit yeah i did she's lying she was sorry she was sobbing because here's the thing in any rendition of any any kind of rendition of no one is alone from Into the Woods makes me cry every time. So yeah, Nolan, the jig is up. You made me cry. Doesn't that suck?

Anyway. This is going to be a bad one, man. Let's do an intention setting. Let's do an intention setting. Okay. We've done funniest, sleepiest. Cringiest. Cringiest, of course. We've done most magical. We've done the most. Cringiest, of course. We've done most magical.

We've done the most sparkly, magical, fantastical. What's this one going to be? I don't, okay. Well, let's say, I think this one's going to be the weepiest. The most crying yet. I think it's going to be the weepiest. Okay. This is going to be the weepiest episode. This is going to be the weepiest. Okay. This is going to be the weepiest episode.

This is going to be the weepiest. This is like my cat growing up with levels. He had an eye thing. Yeah. Okay. Here's the thing. I forget what I was watching. I was watching something with Daniel.

Maybe it was, oh, we were watching Great Bridge Baking Show Junior Edition, which is so good. If you guys haven't seen it, it's amazing. I didn't know that existed. It's fantastic.

It's like eight through 15 year olds. It's amazing. It seems like an unfair age range. i feel like a 15 year old could bake circles around no no no no a lot of like the littles are like crushing it but anyway they describe one of the um cakes is like it's kind of weeping on the inside and i said to daniel i'm like that's a really disgusting way of describing that and he's like why and i'm like whenever i hear like something described as being weeping on the inside and i said to daniel i'm like that's a really disgusting way of describing that and he's like why and i'm like whenever i hear like something described as being weeping i think of like a wound a wound yes i think of like a festering wound and daniel's like that is i think of crying and i'm like no no i think i also i think wound is pretty forefront yeah i agree

um so this will be the weepiest episode and you can interpret it and it's up to interpretation and so it's like if you think we're gonna be crying or if you think we're gonna be like just disgusting wounds that may be a little bit infected but the fluid hasn't fully leaked out um that's what's gonna be so alf what's new with your weepy little wound how was my weep um how was your weep very good thank you um it was good it was good uh i'm finally moving into this apartment by which i i've been moving in for two weeks you're in i'm in i'm in but i've like hung stuff on the walls it's starting to feel a little bit more um like a home this house is a home this apartment is a home home is where the fart is. I'm sorry. Yeah, but it's good.

I was just telling you, but I didn't tell you this. So I left my normal headphones that I would wear during a recording. Home is where the fart is? Oh, come on. We're way past that. You had a chance to jump on that and you didn't take it, okay?

No, I was just sitting in it. No, please don't sit in my fart. I knew you were going to say that. So you left your good headphones in a co-worker's car. Yes, correct. And so what I had to do was walk to the Walgreens two blocks away and I bought a $4.99 pair of earbuds. And so I have never heard you in lower quality in my life.

It is like doing a podcast with someone on the moon except when i'm in the car when i call you from my car then it's oh my god literally the the way you called me yesterday and the air conditioning was blasting directly on the phone which went that it sounded like you were calling me from behind niagara falls in like a secret little room. A secret little room. Ooh, a little room. By Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls. But enough about me. What's your week been like, huh?

My weep has been. It's been one weep since we recorded a pod. My weep has been good. My weep has been very busy. Oh, congrats. I'm sorry, man. That was my fault. it's been a tough. We're going to get real.

We're going to get weepy. It's been a tough week for body dysmorphia girlies out here. It's been a tough body dysmorphia week. That's summer for you. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like an everyday thing for me. No, no, no. Just summer.

Just summer. So that's been tough. And it usually happens around periods of stress. It's like when I notice it really being very present for me is when it happens around like big periods of stress. And so it's just been, it's been busy. Big periods of stress. I can't think of one time I've known you when there's been a big period of stress in your life. But, oh,iel and i cleaned our um couch cushions this week which is exciting but now we have yet to put the slip covers back onto the couch and the liquid that was coming out of them was just black because you guys chain smoke on that couch yeah but so we watched a movie last night we still haven't put the slip covers back on the couch and it just felt it was it felt like

i was a little i don't know it was very like uh red white and royal blue and i'll get into that later we'll get into that later i have a feeling i know what shook you yeah um but it was giving like pillow fort vibes because like it was um just a very messy couch and it wasn't comfortable at all and so uh awesome well that sounds like the perfect way to watch a movie. Messy and uncomfortable. You know what's kind of messy, but it's not uncomfortable? It's only messy when it's too hot. It's only messy when it's too hot.

That makes sense. Yeah, no, I guess it does. So don't say it. Don't repeat it back to me like I'm an idiot. No, no, no, no. It makes sense'm an idiot No, no, no It makes sense It's messy when it's too hot Do you want to peek behind the curtain? Do you want to talk to Dr. Oz real quick?

Guy who thinks The Wizard of Oz is a doctor You guys never seen Wizard of Oz? You want to talk to Dr. Oz? Oh, you want to talk to Dr. Oz? Oh yeah, sure, you want to talk to Dr. Oz real quick? The reason that my reaction to you saying that was so strange was my brain immediately started trying to think of a joke where, like, Lionel Messi was the punchline. Like, something to do with, like, the soccer player Messi.

And I got distracted. And I wasn't listening. Okay? We're talking. We're not talking about you not listening. We're talking about popsicles. Okay. We're talking about how Alf called me on the phone yesterday.

He goes, what about ice lollies? I did say that, didn't I? And we say, okay, you're British. Yeah. What about popsicles? Cheeky ice lolly? A little cheeky ice lolly. What's your history with ice lollies?

Do you like them or no? Here's the thing. I have not had a popsicle in a long time. And actually, sit down. Get comfortable. God damn. I need to put a... God damn. I need to put a pillow

underneath my... I need to put a booster seat underneath my chair. Bulging bottom. Bottom. My bulging bottom requires a brief... I love a Popsicle.

I haven't had one in a long time. And honestly, finding the reviews inspired me. I'm probably gonna go pick up... We got more heat waves coming back to LA this week. I'm gonna get a box of Popsicles. I had a similar me. I'm probably going to go pick up. We got more Heat Wave coming back to LA this week. I'm going to get a box of popsicles.

I had a similar experience. I haven't craved a popsicle in probably a decade. And reading these reviews, I was like, Yeah. So what are your, did you get the brand, like Popsicle brand? Or there's like the organic ones, like the fruit juice ones? Or the Otter the organic ones like the one the one that i remember

the otter pops are really good the one i remember is like you would walk into the the you know the kroger or whatever um where my east coast heads at um yeah truly you'd walk into the uh do they have kroger's in the midwest i don't know okay he learns it lives in the midwest didn't know that um because i exclusively shop at Air... I don't even know how to pronounce it. Air One? Air One. It's nowhere but backwards.

Is that true? Yes. Air One, man, please listen. And you walk into the Kroger or whatever, and in the front, there's just like a big vat that's full of them in like the nylon sack. You know what I mean? And they're like room temperature.

And then you have to take them home and freeze them. And it's like, yeah, I think Otter Pop, the brand Otter Pop was kind of ubiquitous. But the Flavor Ice, there are some definite cont contenders guy who's obsessed with a popsicle brand um flavor ice but i have to say i was i was always more of a tube tube kid you know um i'm sorry you know what i mean like the popsicles the ice pops that were like in the tube rather than like you know on a stick in a wrapper yeah you know what i mean like in the tube rather than like, you know, on a stick. In a wrapper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like not the ones that like Red Rockets or whatever, you know, the little fucking.

Yeah. You know, the fucking red, white and blue ones. But the like tube ones. I was, I was the, I was on a stick and I was like the Popsicle brand. You either get the red, orange or purple. Right. And those were the boxes that I would get. I remember, i feel like

otter pops i don't know because i have family in the midwest and so i feel like whenever i'd go there over the summer otter pops were very big there and i actually didn't know until looking them up my when i was little like we never bought otter pops we got like the popsicles but it's like so i'd have to go over to a friend's house to get otter pops and i didn't know that you froze them yourself you truly just get like a bag with you literally get a sack of them of liquid squish it around yeah but i i do i think i i love out of like the i remember as a kid i loved the orange popsicles like the orange i was gonna ask you like if there was a bucket in front of you what you would grab orange or red rarely purple now this is interesting because you've

actually such a grape kid no you've actually actually i was i did like the great ones but you've actually activated my you've activated my trap card because you've ah but first let me play Pot of Greed, which allows me to draw two additional cards from the top of my deck. Oh, and I have Blue Eyes White Dragon. Ah. Yeah.

Are you gonna... You've activated my trap card. Ah, I hate it. Magic Cylinder, which allows me to redirect your attack Back at you directly to your life points Do the ah again You've activated my trap card

By which I mean You said that your Go to flavor would be red Popsicle No I said orange and then red and then you're gonna talk about Oh Gatorade why don't you drink the red Gatorade Exactly counselor Your honor Objection No, I said orange and then red. And then you're going to talk about, oh, Gatorade. Why don't you drink the red Gatorade? Exactly, counselor. Because it's different.

Your honor. Your honor. Objection. No. Interruption. Because it's different. It's different. How is it different?

I'm not a nasty little sticky child. There is literally the red Otter Pop is just a frozen tube of red Gatorade. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about Otter Pops. I'm talking about popsicles. I'm talking about on a stick. Same shit. No, it's not. no, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about Otter Pops. I'm talking about Popsicles. I'm talking about on a stick. Same shit. No, it's not. It's very we literally said it's very different. The red

flavor is the red flavor always. If I'm getting an Otter Pop, honestly, I actually like the blue Otter Pops. Like the neon, like the electric blue? Yes, yes. Yeah, I mean, I fucked with those. Now, what I'm realizing now I don't think there's a flavor i didn't like yeah but but i was a great kid and the thing about being a great kid

you're a little freak the thing about being a great kid is that a lot of kids don't like it um and so there's always a great option for you well and there's always spares and so it's like yeah i could have one red or i could have three grapes from the discard pile ah my magic card pot of greed which allows me to draw two discard grape popsicles from the top of my deck um you keep asking like someone's mom you're like miss johnson can i have an honor pop and you're like oh yes oh honey i'm so sorry we only have the grape left oh you've activated my trap card you see it was always my intention to ask for the grape oh my god um but yeah um i would probably

so good if there were a bucket in front of me today i would probably i would probably... They're so good. I need to get some today. If there were a bucket in front of me today, I would probably go red. Yeah. You know? I think I would still go orange for Popsicle, blue or red for Otter Pop. Yeah. Was there a green? I feel like there was a green. I think...

It was kind of like limey, lemony. Yes. It tastes like bleach. But I don't want... Yeah. Other Popsicles, though, did you ever get like the Red Rocket, like the, I think they're called Big Bomber actually. I was looking them up. Okay, that was my nickname in college.

Jesus. I was always calling threats. No, I don't think I did. I wasn't, that was not one that we kept in the house. I think I remember a few times there were, like, summer camp, um, type things. Where, like, you know, someone might, you know, or I was at a friend's house, and you might get chucked one of those. But I don't think, uh... Throw one at your head.

And he would chuck it at me. Because it has freezer burn. Um, you know what I did fuck with, though, was the Flint... Do you remember the Flintstone push pop? Yes. Fuck me, I want one of those right now. Love those. But they were too creamy for me.

I don't. You know what I did love? Because they were like a sherbet, almost. Fudgesicles. Fuck me up. Fudgesicles are elite. I would take one of those over. Now I would probably do a popsicle, but like a fudgesicle any day of the week. The fudgesicles are elite I would take one of those over now I would probably do a popsicle but like a fudgesicle

any day of the week the fudgesicles were they were absolute what about dreamsicle the orange the kind of but that's creamy and that's creamy so I feel like you probably didn't like it that's like sickly sweet for me no no no I say I don't like creamy but then I have like full on fudge

frozen fudge but honestly the chocolate, they weren't, they were like more like chocolate water that had been frozen. It didn't leave like a film on your mouth. It wasn't super like fatty, creamy, like ooey gooey delicious. I actually don't think, I don't think I ever had one of the Big Bomber ones in my memory. I don't, it's truly just been like the popsicle, pops like fuck i'm getting a box of popsicles after this um i also think i think i reached a point in my in my adolescence where you know you go into the fucking uh gas station or whatever and they have the like blue bunny like the slide open cooler and they do have they have ice pops

in there you know what i mean they do have the like big bomber like that kind of flintstone but i became a i became a drumstick guy you know like an actual like getting an ice cream from that thing or like the big bopper you know what i mean which is the toll house is that the cookie sandwich yeah the cookie sandwich the big the big bopper i'm pretty sure that's what are you talking the chubby checker um let's twist again like we did last summer um big bop the teeny bopper the big bop googling big bopper ice cream frantically no not big bopper images i'm getting images of the musician the big bopper big bopper ice cream yeah this fucker is it called the big wow it literally says big bopper so before you come for me shut the hell up but now no we're getting into ice cream territory i know which is dangerous and that's next week's episode so we need to save

lolliland so alf why don't we uh why don't we take a quick break and then we'll come back and read some reviews about pops lollies slash popsicles Whatever Fuck off And we're back With some ice lollies Time for a cheeky ice lolly I think mommy Cheeky ice lolly Mommy can I have a cheeky ice lolly, I think, mummy.

Cheeky ice lolly? Mummy, can I have a cheeky ice lolly, please? You've already had two of the grapes, my darling. Well, the grapes are worth half of a normal one. Because nobody likes them but me. Medus, medus. Because nobody likes them but me.

Do you want to start or should I? I think it would be powerful if you started. Oh my god. Okay. He's an ally. Okay. I saw Barbie. Yeah. I mean, let me ask you this. Do you actually want to go first? I do want to go first.

Because you asked me, which was very generous of you, but what if I asked you the same question? Thank you, but I do want to go first. Wow. It's really hard to pick between these. Okay. Okay. This is for the, oh, sorry.

It's not the Big Bomber. It's the Bomb Pop, which is the red, white, and blue. So you were actually maybe kind of mixing Big Bopper and Bomber Pop together. Look, I've never heard of Big Bopper. I think maybe you have and you just don't remember it. No, I was thinking the Toll House. No, it's like the Nestle Toll House Chipwich or something like that.

It's called the Big Bopper. Oh my fucking God. We're talking about the Bomb Pop. This is the red, white, and blue popsicle. Which I didn't realize, it's cherry and in the middle the white flavor is like lime. Lime, yeah. And the bottom is blue raspberry, which blue raspberry, the idea, the white flavor is like lime. Lime, yeah. And the bottom is blue raspberry, which blue raspberry, the idea, it's very funny.

Anyway. I would listen to like a narrative pod, you know, like a kind of reply all style podcast about the origin of blue raspberry. Blue raspberry, 100%. It's like, where the fuck did that come from? I would absolutely listen to that. Absolutely, it's crazy.

Three stars from Juan. Can you do a last name for Juan? There's no last name. There's no initial. Nope. That's too much creative freedom. Juan... Bomber Pop.

I don't fucking know. Juan Bomber Pop. Wow. So creative, Alfred. I dropped my phone right before you asked, and it threw me. One Bomber Pop. Wow, so creative, Alfred. I dropped my phone right before you asked, and it threw me. Three stars from one. Wait, can I go again? No, I'll come up with a better one.

One Bomber Pop. Three stars. One Bomber Pop. The title is so tiny. Man, these things have shrunk. Same flavor, I remember, but three quarters the size I remember them. Here's the thing about that. Three quarters the size I remember them isn't that much smaller.

You're saying it's 75% of what it used to be. It's not like it's half the size. I also just love that it's giving older teenage boy who just went through a growth spurt or something or someone coming back and it's like, man, this is for kids. This is so small.

I'm big now. It's so, what is it? Three quarters the size that I remember it being? Holy shit, grandma. Your house gets smaller? Damn, dude. This place is like three quarters the size I was remember it being. Holy shit, grandma. Your house gets smaller? Damn, dude. This place is like three quarters the size it was when I was a kid. Wow.

Like coming back from college. Life comes at you fast, eh, G-Ma? Come on. What do you hire a contractor to shrink rate this? Honey, I shrunk the house more like, oh, grandma, come on. It's so specific. Like it's not fully smaller.

And it's like man they're so tiny there's there's no they're still good don't get me wrong but like i'm bigger now that's crazy having an existential crisis mom knocking on door um honey i i know you're only home from college for the weekend. I know you're going to want to see your friends and all that. But I just found a box of all of your baby stuff. I shouldn't call you a baby. You know, it's a second grade.

What was that, Mom? Sorry, I'm listening to Elvis Costello. Honey, I have a box of some of your baby clothes. Oh, that's cool, Mom. And I know that obviously you're not going to fit into them anymore. Of course, you're 19 years old. Yeah, obviously. But before I donate them, I was wondering if you wanted to keep any for sentimental reasons.

Oh, no. Chuck that bad boy over here. Let's take a look. Okay, I'll chuck that bad boy. I'll just place it gingerly on your lap. Yeah. Oh, look at these little booties! Oh, I remember your first fall, and you were crunching around in the leaves and these little things. Oh, I thought you meant, like, falling over. Oh, well, God, I remember that, too.

Don't I know it? I know. Going to the hospital, 12 stitches in your head. Nope. I'll never forget that. Here's the thing, Ma. These might have sentimental value for you, but for me, I don't even remember them, and they're pretty damn small.

Yeah, they are small. And look at you now, you're my growing boy. It's crazy to believe that these tiny, tiny little feet, these tiny shoes turned into, well, you. Why do you have those tiny little plastic feet in there? What is that? It's so that the shoes kind of keep their form. Oh, keep the form. Yes.

It's like, yeah, I mean, why don't you just use like tissue paper? I don't want to get into this. Skylar, do you want to keep these things or not? No, no. Because I know I do, but I don't want to just waste space. Why does it have to be for me? Why can't you keep them for your own sake? Well, Skylar, come on.

Don't talk to me like that. What do you mean? I'm trying to talk to you. Mom, I'm 19. I'm an adult. I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you. I think, yeah, I have no memory. This is all shit sorry fuck skylar college just made me bluer i this is all stuff from like when i was a baby time i don't remember okay and it's cool

if you want to keep them hang on to them and like reminisce sometimes know, pull them out and remember the good times and the bad, but for me they're nothing, they're trash they could be anyone's baby clothes, that's how little I remember I'm just being honest about the way that children form memories, mom

I'm a neuroscience major kinda my whole thing Skylar going out to dinner with his, like, high school friends. What's up, guys? Skylar, oh my god, it is so cool that you're home for the weekend, brother, because it's like, we have been dying to come to this restaurant.

Do you remember this place? Do you remember this place? Oh my god, bro, I don't know if he remembers. You have to remember. Dude, this is where we came on prom night, after we all lost our virginities at the same time. And we came to this Applebee's to share nachos. Yeah. Surprise.

Prom night. Virginity. Nachos. Nachos. Prom night. Virginity. Nachos. And you.

We all called it the best night of our lives yeah no i mean and it sounds like it sounds like it probably was um for you but you know what no i'm just saying man like 19 i've been at college for like six seven months now like it's kind of had some bigger nights than that and i don't really remember it's the fallibility of memory you're familiar you don't remember dude that wasn't even a full year ago i'm sorry my dad who's 52 he still talks about that he lost his virginity so uh yeah i don't think memory works like that i remember actually i what i do remember is hearing the story of how your dad lost his virginity way too many times. Cut to them hanging out like a couple years ago and their dad.

Oh, hey, Mr. Johnson. Brian and I are just going to go run a, we're going to go run to the store. If you can believe it, it was 1985. Yeah. No, I know. Oh, you've heard this? Yes, it was, you were at the police concert, and there was a girl.

Yeah, we've heard the story. That's amazing. Well, now that you're older, I can tell it to you again with a little bit more detail. So it was 1985. Yeah, truly, I can't imagine that there's a version with more detail than what I've already heard. God, Pat.

Skylar, are you like, what's going on with you? You seem like different and not in a totally cool way. Maybe what you're picking up on is that I'm, I'm bigger than I used to be. I've grown up, okay? I'm not into kid stuff anymore, like going to prom and having sex and eating nachos, okay? I'm a grown upup well we're all

the same age dude and honestly all looking at each other we think that having sex and eating nachos and going to prom is still just as cool as it was when we were 17 and that's awesome and i love that for you guys but i'm a neuroscience major dude got big goals, big aspirations in this life that go beyond dancing and enjoying. You know that you have to go through like eight years of medical school. Like you're not just going to be a neuroscience like guy. Yeah, but I'm like 8% of the way through. So it's not a big deal. Like just do this like, you know, nine more times.

Maybe this was a bad idea. We honestly thought that it would just be fun to get back together and like catch up and reminisce, but if you think that we're just a bunch of baby boys- I didn't say that, man. God. You might as well have, dude. Can I- Can I be vulnerable- What? Can I be vulnerable for a second?

I thought only babies who have sex are vulnerable. No, grown-ups who don't can be vulnerable too. Man, I think the real reason that I forgot about all that stuff is because I'm scared. What? You're Skylar. You're a neuroscience emoji. You don't get scared. I know that, but like you know your dad

remember how he always is talking about how he lost his virginity in 1985 at the police concert to that girl and there's all those details. Yeah. She had ribbons in her hair and her dress was blue. Yes. Her socks didn't match. What a weird detail

to include, but he says it every time and what i'm most scared of is being like your dad no offense mr john no offense but it's like the dude lives in the past you know for him mentally it's 1985 that's the he that's what he wants it to be dude and for me i'm scared that 2022 was as good as it's ever gonna be for me you know losing my virginity next to my best friends you know then going and getting some nachos at the bees you weren't wait hold on you were next to one of us yeah me and me and we all said that it's like we did it at the same time but that was like in different houses different cars like we all kind of like we knew it was around the same time no me sean and big b were all in the same room

i was at home Yeah California King So you do remember Uh yeah I guess it's Coming back to me What else do you remember Well it was me Sean Bigby On a California King And uh Well all of our dates

Were there and Now that I remember it, there was your dad was there. We did a socks match? No, his socks were different. And we were like

he just like was there and he just kept talking about the police concert I guess that's maybe also part of why I blocked it out no I get it you should go back to school yeah man I hope it's okay if I never see you again I think that's fine I really would prefer not to remember

this ever again. And I'm kind of mad that you asked me to remember it. How could I have known? I was losing my virginity to Sylvia Plath. Yeah, Sylvia Louise Plath, that girl from your class. Yeah.

And can I be honest? I remember everything. Yeah. I remember the way her hair fell. I remember the color of her eyes, if you can believe it. What color? They were like kind of like, they were hazel. You said you remembered them.

Hazel. Hazel. Oh, okay. I think. Huh. And I remember how she. Hazel. Oh, okay. I think. Huh. And I remember how she made me feel. Oh, wow. I also remember that I did put on a police CD.

Right. To try and kind of like, you know, make the night even more memorable. Memorable, right. To make sure that it's like, I'm just like my old man. Just like your old man. I also lost my virginity while listening to Sting can I ask you a question though bro

you probably already know what I'm going to ask did her socks match you know what's funny they did and then I asked her to take one off so that it would be more like how your dad lost his keys. And more like how my dad did it. That's freaking nice, dude.

I also asked her to tell me it's 1985 over and over again. Wow. That's really fucked up. We never need to see each other again. Me and Bigby and Sean are gonna keep hanging out, because we're, like, trauma-bonded, but you were gonna, like... I think we're cutting you out.

That's okay. Yeah. Don't stand... Weeping! I'm weeping! Don't stand so close to me! That's what his dad was singing Yeah This is for Flavor Ice Popsicle Variety

Pack of 1.5 ounce freezer bars Assorted flavors 100 count What? That's a lot Wait is Flavor Ice I don't know Flavor Ice It's spelled like Flay-Vore Vore Dice.

Vore Dice. Yes, your favorite brand. Your favorite brand. One star. From Amazon customer. Can I get a name for Amazon customer? From Ali Corleone. Ali Coca-Cola-one.

Coca-Cola-one. Coca-Cola-one. Give me the formula. One star. These are not Flavor Ice. These are knockoff. Flavor Ice has their logo on each popsicle. These are blank. They are also flavorless. I buy Flavor ice all the time

and these are nothing like flavor ice very disappointing my dog loves flavor ice and he will not eat these even my dog won't eat like her dog is like you know like one of the canine dogs at the airport or whatever. He knows true knockoff flavor ice from real.

I also really like... Sorry. Did Ali Coca Corleone... Did they say that there was no design on the packaging and that's why? Right. They said that flavor ice has their logo on each popsicle these are blank

they are also flavorless somebody has COVID it's also it's kind of giving like it's kind of giving like a mean mean child at a sleepover who's like oh well this isn't the real one oh these aren't actually real flavor ice one. Oh, these aren't actually real flavor ice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, these aren't actually real flavor ice. The slum party was like 10 girls. Hey guys, I'm so excited that everyone's here for my 8th birthday party and as a treat, as a really special treat,

my mom got us all flavor ice. So it's in the freezer and everyone can only grab one though because that's how it's fair. And so then after everyone has one, if there's enough then we can all get two. But since I'm the birthday girl, I'm gonna go last because you guys

are my guests. Britannia, it's your birthday. You should go first. No, no, no, no. The gift is you guys all being here. And so I'm going to wait to go last because you guys are my guests and that's just how I was brought up. Britannia.

That's so sweet. Thank you, Chrysanthemum. I guess I'm going to get like, ooh, I can't even pick. Oh, I guess I'll go for red probably. Go for it. And, oh, is Stacy still here?

Walks out of the bathroom. Whoa! I'd light a match in there. Woo! Stacy, I just want to say that I'm really happy everyone's here, but since you're, like, the most popular girl in first grade, I just want to say it means a lot that you decided to come to my birthday party. Of course.

What are we? Hey, Britannia, of course. You're one of my favorite people in our class. What? No. Oh, my God. I'm totally serious right now. All the other girls are like, what?

No, you literally don't have to say that. No, I'm not even like just saying it, dude. Like, you're like, you know, you're up there. Like, you're top ten for sure. Oh my god. Is this the best birthday ever? I think yes. Might be. Why don't you get the next popsicle,

Stacy? Oh my god. No, you should go first. It's your birthday. No, you kind of missed it because you were in the bathroom really tearing it up in there. But I'm going last because I'm the birthday girl. Lightning storm! Yeah, no, for sure. I guess I'll go.

And they're flavorized, so they're really good. Hey, um... Hey, Chrysanthemum. Yeah? they're really good hey um hey chrysanthemum yeah i bet she's only going last because she's probably gonna get fucking grape she knows that if she can go last she can still have a grape and she's not gonna have to have any of the uh she gets also the social clout of saying that she let us pick first so very calculated are you gonna are you no yeah of saying that she let us pick first. So very calculated move from Tanya. No, yeah, of course, babes. Let me go.

Let me grab. Huh. Sorry, I thought you said flavor ice. I must have been mistaken. I was in the bathroom tearing it up, lightning storm style. So I might have not heard. No, they're flavor ice. Yeah.

My mom got home and she said, I got the flavor ice. So that's how I know it's true. Well, your mom works doubles a lot of nights, right? At the hospital. She's probably tired. She's probably just tired. She's my hero. No, of course.

She's saving lives every day. And I, you know, personally, and a lot of people aren't brave enough to say this, but I stand with our essential workers. And I think there is. Oh my God. Thank you for saying. This is why you're the most popular girl in first grade. Yes. stand with our essential workers and i think there is oh my god thank you for this is why you're the most popular girl in first grade yes and during this time especially october 2020 it's very

important that we stand with our essential workers if you want i'm just saying but i'm just saying like i'm not outside the window with me also very cool that my mom let us have a 10 girls over during this crazy time well she knows it might be the last chance we ever get. No, but Britannia, let me... I was not trying to slander your mom or whatever. I'm sure your mom is awesome. No, all you said was that my mom is amazing, works doubles and saves lives every day.

She probably was mistaken, but it's not a big deal. I'm just saying. What do you mean? Well, girls, I think we can all agree. Chrysanthemum girls, I think can all agree that like this isn't these obviously aren't like real authentic genuine flavor ice but the box says flavor ice right right um i think these are knockoff sweetie because like real flavor ice like they like they say like flavor ice on a package you

know whereas this just kind of has like random like looks like stickers honestly it looks like random stickers that someone just like put on there well um but my mom wouldn't lie to me she's a hero i didn't say she would lie did i i said she was mistaken if you were listening for tanya she always does this right christ'm sorry well it's okay because they're still going to be delicious I'm sure I haven't said anything oh my god I'm so stupid I'm so stupid I'm a stupid little idiot

I'm the dumbest girl in our class I'm the dumbest person alive you know what actually stop everyone stop stop it you know who's the dumbest, biggest idiot? No, I don't.

Who? Is my mom. Everyone gasp. Yeah. Wait, Britannia, that's really fucked up. She said she was gonna- She's a hero. I know, but she messed up big time no she's really girls you wait

down here i'm gonna go have a talking to with my mommy yo britannia you should not do that like i know i was like coming really hard for your mom but that was mainly like i don't know i'm just like kind of a bitch completely justified no no no Britannia. If that woman upstairs, if that woman says she's going to get me. Oh, I really didn't like the way you said woman there. I really didn't like. Girls, did you feel that? That was targeted. Yeah, we all felt it.

We all felt it. If that woman says that she's going to get me flavor ice for my birthday, then she's going to get me dang flavor ice for my dang birthday. It's giving brat. So I am going to march upstairs. Ladies, you wait down here i promise i'm gonna make this the best birthday party ever okay sure heading up leanne leanne leanne oh sorry she's asleep on the couch like still in her scrubs like exhausted like just

like she has like the scarring on her face from having a COVID mask on all day. Like, she is just, like, a shell, working so fucking hard. Leanne? Hey. Hey, sweetie, what's, um, what's going on? Oh, hi, Mom! Oh, sorry, couldn't be bothered to get off the couch again?

Sorry, excuse me? Maybe if you did a little less sleepy sleepy And a little more listening to your kid Then you would understand That you've kind of ruined my birthday Come here, sweetie Come here

Ew, I don't want to touch a liar No, that's probably a good idea Actually Stay six feet away I'm going to stay as many feet away as I possibly can. Can mommy talk? Do you even know what I'm saying? Do you even know what I'm talking

about right now? Not really. You duped me. You bought a dupe and that was the last thing I ever wanted you to do. Remember, sweetie? Remember what we practiced with Dr. Wilson after daddy left? Remind me. sweetie remember what we practiced with dr wilson after daddy left remind me i'm gonna we're gonna take turns okay listening and talking and you are gonna talk i don't have time to take turns right now because i have 10 of the coolest girls in first grade downstairs

i said you could invite two. Okay, well, sorry. If your little girl's having a big birthday, she can invite as many girls as she wants. Honey, I go to a hospital every day and I work with some of the most vulnerable patients on earth and you're bringing possible COVID exposure into our house. I probably shouldn't even let you have two. Well, you're bringing off-brand flavor ice into the house.

So I guess we both made some big mistakes there, missy. This is about the flavor ice? Or the lack thereof, Leanne. What's wrong with the flavor ice? What's wrong with the flavor ice is that there's no flavor ice. You got me flavored ice. They're in the freezer. No.

Because Stacy Wilcox opened up the box. You invited Stacy Wilcox Opened up the box You invited Stacy Wilcox? Stacy Wilcox opened up the box and she noticed That there's no designs Only stickers on the packaging So it's not the real flavor I said now I look like a fool Her mom is an anti-vaxxer

She's got COVID for sure Even though there's no vaccine yet Because it's only October 2020 It's still like a principle of the thing oh god okay how are you gonna fix it? because it's certainly I can't drive a car

absolutely as Dr. Wilson said to both of us I have listened and I hear you and I'm going to validate your concerns by am sorry going out i'm getting sorry i am sorry that the flavor ice that i got you was you didn't get flavor ice that's the issue that's the issue so you didn't actually hear me because you said oh the flavor

as i got you but the issue is that there's no flavor ice to be found. You got me flavored ice. I didn't want to do that. I did not want to do this. It might as well have been pee. I did not want to. Britannia Marie. If you say one more word to me, I am calling all of those girls mothers and they are coming to pick them up. No.

If you say one, you are out of line young missy if you say one more rude uncalled for thing to your exhausted mother i am calling every single one of those young girls parents including the anti-vaxx ones and i am telling them to come get their daughters right now because my daughter is behaving like a beret is behaving like a brat. It's behaving like a brat. Oh, okay. Okay, I won't do that. So are you going to behave? Are you going to have a conversation? You want to be treated like an adult? Are you going to behave like an adult? Are you going to have a conversation like an adult? Or are you going to keep doing this?

Fine. Okay. So are you going to get the flavor dice or not? I am not. Britannia, I am not going to. I have been on my feet for 16 hours today. I am not going to drive out to Kroger's right now and pick you up the name brand flavor ice that you wanted. What I am going to do.

No, forget it. No no forget it no forget what no what what are you gonna do i was gonna give you your birthday present but i don't i don't think i love presents no i don't think you deserve it i'm the best i'm the best britannia britannia i think you've been really cruel i think you've been really cruel to your mother today downstairs you hear this entire conversation just muffled. All the girls just kind of sitting around, like, eating their flavor ice. Um, chrysanthemum. Yeah. Um. Do you feel like I was a bitch earlier?

Do you feel like I, like, kind of Do you feel like I kind of ruined the night? Like, I kind of egged her into it, right? Like, the screaming match upstairs. Like, I kind of made her do that. No, not at all. Well, yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe a little. Fuck.

Have I ever told you guys about my mom? No, you never say a word about your mom yeah daisy she's kind of a lot um i don't know i just think like now that i'm like thinking about it maybe part of the reason that like i like egged britannia into it or whatever is that like maybe i'm like a little jealous of her mom her mom is pretty cool and like honestly she's a hero she's a hero and it's like the fact that she went out at all to get us a treat

is like really really awesome she didn't have to do that no like not at all like she works like 16 hour days like my mom's an anti-vaxxer who works for a hedge fund like she's not cool like honestly I wish

I wish my mom was Britannia's mom. Me too. Like, I'm not even saying this, girls. I hope if I'm a mother someday that I'm as good as a mom as Britannia's mom. I'm as good as a mom as Britannia's mom. Honestly, I feel the same way. I think we all do. Should we, like, do something about this should we

like fix this we should go upstairs i think daisy daisy i think you and i girls the rest of the six of you stay right here um daisy and i are gonna go help we're gonna go help cut back to upstairs i want the birthday present because i'm the best kid in the land Britannia Britannia Marie What Leanne Smith Go to your room right now

No Oh my god I have all my friends downstairs You're the worst You're the worst mom ever I wish you weren't my mom I wish dad was here Sigh the worst mom ever. I wish you weren't my mom. I wish dad was here. Hi, girls.

Oh, hi. Hi, ladies. We're just having a little adult conversation, but don't worry. The flavored ice is on the way, so why don't you guys just wait in the basement, and I'll be back soon. Me and Daisy feel like you've done enough yeah Britannia

you shouldn't talk to your mom like that that's really not nice you're being really mean what no you guys have got it all mixed up because what's mean is my my lazy slug of a mother shut up Britannia seriously shut up your mom is

your mom's a saint your mom's a saint me and daisy we hate our moms we would kill for your mother we would kill our moms if it meant i would literally kill my mom if it meant that i had your mom kill my mom girls girls girls Girls. Girls. Girls. Girls. While I appreciate the sentiment. It's a really upsetting thing to say. No. Violence is never the answer. Ms. Smith.

Well, we're not even kidding. It's like we would literally kill our moms. If it meant that you could be our mom. Girls. I don't expect you to understand this yet. But. It's a trying time. That we're living through right now. Yeah, it's even more trying.

Shut the hell up, Britannia. Britannia, shut up. Seriously, Britannia, like, you're so cringe. Britannia, you suck. It's like, it's giving mortifying. It's like, honestly, Girls, girls, girls. Please leave my daughter alone.

This is a trying time for people everywhere. For me, my patients, but especially for young people like yourselves. My childhood, we didn't have anything like this, okay? This is unprecedented. And I understand that it is putting a strain on all of us.

And what we need to do now more than ever is stick together as a community, as family, as women. Stacey runs over and gives Leanne the biggest, most intimate hug. I know, sweetie. Oh, no, you might not want to touch my mom. She has just been around a lot of COVID patients. It's fine. I think it's

time you get that present now. I deserve it? Because I'm the best kid? Sorry, I was talking to Stacy. What? I'm giving Stacy your present. No, Mom, this is so sick and twisted. Are you kidding? Stacey?

This is so twisted. Chrysanthemum? Go upstairs and look in Stacey's room. My name's Stacey. Oh, fuck. Wait, I thought you were Chrysanthemum. No, Chrysanthemum's downstairs. I'm Daisy.

But it's okay. Even though you don't remember who I am, I'd still kill my mom to make sure you're my mom. Oh, that's... Again, I think that's- I really would appreciate it if you didn't make death threats in my home, but, um, go look upstairs in

Britannia's room. I think there's gonna be something up there you're really gonna like. No one can go into my room because that's my toy because I'm the best birthday girl! Go to the garage. Britannia,

go to time out in the garage. Daisy, Stacy, go look upstairs in Britannia's room. All the rest of the girls downstairs are like... I feel like I heard someone say that they're getting a present i i swear i heard i swear i heard britannia's mom like say my name but i'm down here does that was she calling me should i

go up too i feel like it's crowded up there. I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like we should wait down here. Too many cooks, girls. Too many cooks. Too many cooks. Can I just say, like, I don't want to be a bitch. But I kind of feel like this is the real friend group.

No, honestly. Oh, my God. And honestly, Chris Anthem, thank you for saying that. Because it's like everyone else is just like filler friends. Right. Everyone else is like second tier. and this is like the real group. And like, look, I have so much love in my heart for Stacey, Daisy, for Tanya, all of you. Love those girls.

But can I say they bring the drama? Always. Can I say they bring the drama? Literally, why can't we just hang out and like be girly pops and like have our ice lollies? And I think a lot of people would look at the six of us and say, oh my God, these are the filler. These are the backup. You know, these are the sort of second tier. And it's what's crazy because it's like, and it's only because we don't bring the drama. And it's only

because we don't bring the drama. And people really highly value drama. And you know what I do? I love you girls. And you know what I do? I focus on friends, and I focus on family, and I focus on books. That's all I need to focus on. I do not need to be focusing on who's dating who. We do not need drama. No, or like, who's mom would rather be

whose mom you know and it's like yes it's my mom loki mid like yes but i love her to death and like but you wouldn't kill her you wouldn't kill the that's an insane thing to suggest that's what i love about you girls you would never try and kill your mom you'd never try and kill your moms cut to Cut to Britannia's room. Daisy, I don't want to open it. It's a giant box. Daisy, this feels really wrong. It's always exciting to get a present. And so on one hand, it's like to hear like, oh, you're getting a gift is really cool. Right.

On the other hand, this doesn't feel like it's our place. Right. Well, and I was going to say, like, it feels like it's less about giving us a gift and more about kind of like. Not giving Britannia the gift. Right. About kind of like a psychological, like, weapon against Britannia. And Britannia's just in the garage. I know.

And remember, like, and I know, like, heat of the moment, whatever. But, like, we had both said that we would kill our moms. We'd kill our moms. For her. For Leanne to be our mom. Yeah. But I kind of take it back like she what she did by sending britannia to the garage she's like really like deeply twisted yeah i honestly

i maybe we should go tell her maybe we should go tell her that we don't want this big box and that we would not kill our moms but aren't you kind of curious what's in it i mean of course girl what if there's a way to like open it like a little so that like we can see what's in it and then we can decide what to do what if there's a way to like open it like a little so that like we can see what's in it and then we can decide what to do because if it's really cool we might want it that's a good point but then it's like if it's opened a little bit

and then the gift is kind of mid or bad and then we just leave it then it's gonna look like oh we saw what it was and we just kind of left it no because we can open it in like a way that makes it seem like we didn't actually open it and then we can take the moral high ground if the gift itself is like mid let's open it like like a way that like makes it seem like we didn't actually open it and then we can take the moral high ground if the gift itself is like mid. Let's open it like a tiny tear in the corner. Like she's tired.

She won't notice. She's literally tired. That woman is so exhausted. She's so tired. Okay. She has to work so many shifts since their dad left and took all the money and moved to the Cayman Islands. That's what my mom said at least. And she knows this stuff.

She's hedge fund. No, I heard that too. I heard that too. She's hedge fund. She knows. Okay, Daisy. Do you want to tear the corner or should I tear the corner? I think we do it at the same time.

Together? Oh my God. Sisters? Who said that? Messies. Okay. Or sisters. Okay.

I have a quick question. Before we do it, because this is such a bonding thing. Just since it's the two of us in here, can we just be honest for a second? Let's do it. Gloves off. Well, no. I feel like it's like we are the leads of the friend group. Does that make sense?

The others, you could kind of trade them in and out, no? They're kind of supportive. They're all kind of filler. But it's like you and I are like... And I think, you know what? A lot of people would be like, oh, no, it's Stacey and Chrisanne. But like it's Stacey and Daisy. It's Stacey and Daisy.

Well, and girl, there's a reason that I like picked you to come upstairs with me and I left her behind. Like, you know, she's cool. Like I'm not bad mouthing the girl. She's like awesome. But like she's not it. You know what I mean? No, I don't tear other women down. Not one time have I torn another woman down.

I didn't say anything. Sounds like you did. I just said, hmm. But anyway, girly, you're my bestie. You're my sister. And I feel like it's like, no matter what else, no matter what's in this box, whether the present's amazing or mid or bad, it's you and me till the end. Agreed.

Okay. Agreed 100%. And whatever, let's just say, if the gift is amazing we split it 50 50 whatever it is chop it down the middle we split it yep okay but if it's mid but if it's mid we leave it in here we leave it downstairs and we claim the moral high ground and we call our mothers and we tell them what we did and they're proud of us yes i love that okay ready three two one they just like tear it a little bit the box moves

maybe we have to tear it a little bit more yeah let's no like now the game has changed my interest is the game has changed okay well i have a question okay what if it's a puppy okay that's fine joint custody joint custody oh love that love that okay three two well actually before we rip it what if it is a puppy i want you to have it. Thanks, girl. Okay. Whatever happens. I love it. I will take it. Three, two, one.

Oh, I was kind of expecting a little more pushback. They open the box. It's a bearded dragon, but loose, like no tank or anything. It's just... Oh, hey, little guy. Hey. Hey, tiny. little guy. Hey. Hey, tiny.

He looks unwell. He looks ill. How long do you think he's been in this box? There's no holes in it. There's a lot of waste around. I think he's been in here a while. Let's get him out of there. Let's get him out of there.

Bring it down. You put it on your shoulder. We walk down to the kitchen. Mrs. Smithwell? What's what, girls? Finally had some peace and quiet now that Britannia's in the garage. Do you girls like the gift? We appreciate the sentiment,

but we really think that this is Britannia's bearded dragon. It was for you. No, we don't think so. Are you girls turning down my hospitality? Um, we don't

want it to come off that way because you're awesome, but we do think that this is more, it's less about the gift is for us and more about you didn't want Britannia to have it. I can't believe that that's what you think of me. We're just going to leave this little guy here and we're going to call our moms to pick us up and also tell them that we don't want to kill them. Okay.

If that's what you girls really want to do. Are you mad at us, Mrs. Smithwell? I don't care about you enough to be mad. You seem kind of mad. I'm not. I'm tired from the hospital. Okay, well... Can I give you girls a piece of advice?

I guess. Go easy on your mothers. You don't understand this now, but you will someday. It's really fucking hard. The bearded dragon is on the couch and the girls have already kind of like tiptoed

out. She's still talking. Gandalf, the bearded dragon leaps onto her shoulder all right girls I'm sorry about what I said you have a good night downstairs in the basement an hour later hey um guys

yeah do you feel like do you feel like we should go i'm starving i'm so hungry those like knockoff flavor ices like they were not filling i mean it's just water it's just flavored water right you can't live off that like No. Girls, I also feel uncomfortable being in this house. I feel like there's some bad stuff going on upstairs. This house is really dark energy.

Genuinely. And I really think we should go. I feel like Britannia's mom forgot we were down here. I feel like Britannia forgot we were down here. Honestly, based on what we heard, I don't know if Britannia... I think she might still be in the garage. I have not heard movement in a while. I think

we should, yeah, let's- They all get up and leave. Britannia's just sitting in the garage. They're sneaking out through the garage. Oh! Hey, Britannia. Hey, girls! Did you guys have the best time ever? Sorry I've been in the garage for two hours.

What? No, girl. This was the best party we've ever been to. This was such a blast. Well, good thing it's a sleepover. So there's definitely, if you didn't bring your own sleeping bags, there's definitely some in boxes in here. We would love to stay, but we all realized we have somewhere to be.

We all really decided that we actually love our moms a lot and we want to be home with them. So, which is like on you, like, thank you for like helping us remember how much we love our mommies. So. Oh,

okay. Well, don't forget to rate and subscribe. What to your house? I was just a joke because all you guys have such cool like beauty youtube channels and i think that's awesome well yeah i mean mine's like yeah mine's like horror effect it's not really well mine's more like lifestyle but um right we're trying to we're like we're like we're trying to like diversify a little bit we're trying to branch out because

like the beauty vlogger space is like it's crowded and it's like it's really hard we can't all be doing this it's hard to differentiate in this market anyway girl happy birthday queen it has been a long capital l capital o capital n capital g night and so we are all gonna go spend time with our moms but thank you for the experience tonight happy birthday happy birthday oh by the way there's a bearded dragon roaming around your house. You should probably check on that. I think his name's Gandalf. He's like wearing a little tag. Anyway,

love you, girl. Tiny comes back in the house. Can I come out of the garage now? Yeah, you can come out. I'm going to go come out. Wait. It was more than a wash. It was a fucking wash, scrub, and dry.

Rinse, dry, whatever. Tonya. Tonight was an important night. For me, for you. But there's something else important that needs to happen. I'm sorry I said I wish you weren't my mom. I'm sorry you said that too. No, you're supposed to say I'm sorry I didn't buy you the flavor ice.

I'm supposed to do whatever the hell I want. Now we're talking. As you know, when the women in our family reach a certain age. Am I a witch? You each fail. Hang on. Don't get ahead of me. We each get given a familiar.

No. We're going on a break. Shortest scene we've ever done. That was a short one and a normal one too. Oh God. Do we have time for one more? I sure think we do. I have another review for the Bomb Pop original 12 pop pack. It's five stars

from Zane. No last name. Malik. Zane Malik. Five stars. The title is an American staple in summer. What's not to love about this? I grew up with these bomb pops.

Brings back childhood memories. Every summer we would eat these. Tastes really good and flavorful. Love the red, white, blue color. Let's keep this tradition of summer alive and make new memories with our children eating these popsicles.

Al's just shaking his head. What a weird patriotic call to action in the fucking review section for the Bop Pop. Love the red, white, and blue color. Let's keep the tradition of summer alive and make new memories with our children eating these popsicles. It's also like, only an American would be like, eating popsicles in summer. What a uniquely American tradition. Let's make sure our kids continue to do it.

No other country in the world does it like this. Standing outside, eating an icicle. It's a commercial for Bob Pops. All right, guys, this is a short shoot today. So we're going to get it done.

It's going to be an in and out. We all know the script. We've all done it. Hair, makeup, everything's good to go. So let's just, couple takes, bang it out. We can all go home early, spend Fourth of July with our families. Alright? Copy that, Sarge.

Alright, Craig. Okay, I guess we're just gonna go for it. Sound, speeding? Sound speeds. Alright, camera? Yup. Speeding. Alrighty.

Three, two... If you're an American, you will love these tasty treats from your childhood. Have you ever been in the summer and it's hot, but you also want to remember your country? Try a bomb pop and eat it with your kids. You'll stand in the grass and have the red, white, and blue dreams

drip down your fingers as you taste the cherry, then lime, then blue raspberry, and you'll remember how beautiful our country is and how fun it is to have kids in the summer.

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Um. Uh-huh. Um. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Was there a problem there, Sarge? No, no, no, no. Rebecca, can you come here for a sec? Sorry, I just... Do you have the script? Yeah, I just want to check over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to check. Yep, here it is. He didn't say literally anything that was written. Right, I was wondering about that. Hey, man. literally anything that was, that was written. Right. I was wondering about that. Hey man, can I ask what, did you, I feel like you,

you went off scripts a little bit there. I'm so sorry. Listen, on other shoots I've done, it'd be like, here's the, do a take just for you guys. And so I,

no, and we can, and we can do that and we might do that. But first, what I really love is to just get clean. You want to get it clean. The script by the book. You want to get it clean by the book.

I want to get it clean, you know, just because again, we are on time crunch here. We've got about, we've got about an hour and a half before we're paying overtime. get clean you want the script by the you want to get it clean i want to get it clean you know just because again we are on time crunch here we've got about we've got about an hour and a half before we're paying overtime and i really i you know i don't want to i don't want to do that i mean you don't want to do you want to go see your family on the fourth of july right exactly like i got some brats in the cooler like you know what i mean god brother you and me both absolutely i i that was and you have for us yeah okay um do i have what do you have the script do i have the script like i don't have it on me that's totally fine email

that's totally okay do you have a i don't even know uh no put your phone away put your phone away it's fine um rebecca can we get a physical copy for him uh yes the printer is down right now but i can get it like probably give him your copy give him your copy okay great okay i'm sorry rebecca i do need it i do need a script to be able to check i think okay well can you take give okay uh give rebecca your phone uh mike just give rebecca your phone okay yeah yeah here you go rebecca you look at it on the phone don't call me little Missy. Did he call you? Sorry, I think I might have missed something.

He called me little Missy. Mike, man, thin ice right now, okay? Thin ice, more like ice lolly. Again, that's the kind of shit I want you to keep and save for the special, just for Mike take, we're going to do if we have time. Okay, Rebecca. We definitely don't have time. You look at the, I know that. You look at the phone,becca mike physical copy i could do this on my phone i don't have to have his phone

okay well you made you have it now it's pulled up on his phone right i don't want to like sit here and wait for you to find it on your phone no it is pulled up i'm just okay then we're just gonna fuck in case okay okay okay okay, let's do the take. Okay. So you want this, like, this is not Mike's take. This is not Mike's take. This is Sarge's take. This is Sarge's... Oh, my God. I'm Sarge, and this is my take.

We're going to do things exactly how I... Sir, yes, sir. I will do it exactly how Sarge wants. At ease, Corporal. Okay. Are we still good on sound? We are still speeding. Camera?

Yep. All right. Ready, everybody? Let's do this. Three. Two. Sir, yes, sir. That's right.

Your orders this summer are to take these giant bomb pops and put them in your mouth. Enjoy the summer heat, the summer breeze, but make your summer more at ease with these bomb pops. Cherry, lime, blue raspberry. Sir, yes sir, time to deploy. And then we'll see what happens to your family when you're gone. For a long time, maybe. Who knows, will your dog still remember you when you come back? I know we've all seen the videos of soldiers returning home from war and the dog gets so excited but what if Skipper doesn't recognize your scent? What if Skipper went blind and he can't see the old man coming down the drive? Wipe those worries away with a napkin on your face and you see the red,

white, and blue drippings of a bomb pop. That's right. As soon as you got off the plane back from your station, they handed out bomb pops to you and you couldn't have been more excited. You haven't had any solid food in your stomach for weeks because we ran out of rations. But don't worry, we have bomb pops. Enjoy them with your kids and make memories with the little tots, the little tater tots. That's right, you got brats on the grill, tots ready to spill their beans about how hard it was for them for you to be away for so long.

They actually aren't even sure what you're fighting for. Are you sure what you're fighting for? Doesn't matter. What you are sure of is Are you sure what you're fighting for? Doesn't matter. What you are sure of is that you got a bomb pop in your hand, in your mouth, and you're dreaming about being on the sand with your wife because Lord knows you haven't had a vacation in years because you've been fighting for your country. Have you been fighting for your country?

Is this like moral? What are we doing? Why are we doing this? But you know fighting for your country? Is this, is this like moral? What are we doing? Why are we doing this? But you know what we are doing? We are going down to Kroger or Ralph's or whatever your regional supermarket chain is and you're buying a bomb pop to share with your family. Don't, don't let Skipper eat it because we aren't fully sure if it's safe for dogs or not bomb pop and cut word perfect word perfect right rebecca perfect holy shit mike thank you you are you know i was one take wonder mike you made me nervous with that first take, man. You were fucking with me, weren't you? Cause that was God. You're a fucking

professional, man. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Everyone here is really grateful because we can now go home and spend forth with our family. I'm going to take Rebecca on a date. Nope. You're still not going to do that. Mike, I, I gave you the benefit of the doubt because you did a good take, but I do not appreciate that kind of behavior on my sets one more word out of you like that and you're going straight to hr okay man bomb pop yeah bomb pops all right um let's wrap it up guys let's get home uh i guess i guess let's say what's shaking us I don't know about you guys but I'm weak

This shook me all week long What's been shaking you man? What's been shaking me? Why don't you start? I'm gonna let you start because my throat is raw after that bomb pop ad.

Um, what has been shaking me, eh? Eh? What's been shaking me, eh? Um. Okay, I watched, speaking of bomb pops, I watched Red, White, and Royal Blue. Okay. Um. And how was that for you? It wasn't great. The movie wasn't good? It was fun.

It was fun. It was sweet. There were some really sweet moments, but it just... I'm so confused. I loved the book. You suck. The fan fiction turned romance novel

adapted into a low budget Netflix movie wasn't good. It wasn't Netflix. It was Amazon. Oh, my mistake. But that has, what's been actually shaking me all week long is I went, I got tacos the other night and I,

I ordered, it was really fast. And I was just, I went to this taco place and I was like, hi, can I just get, before I ordered, I was like fast. And I went to this taco place. And I was like, hi, can I just get. Before I ordered, I was like, hi, how you doing? And the guy behind the register, he's like, oh, having a good night? I'm like, oh, yeah. Anyway, I'll get two tacos to go, whatever.

And he goes, cool, cool, cool. Name? And I'm like, Riley. And he looks me up and down. He's like, oh, that's a beautiful name. I'm like, thanks. OK, thank you. Have a good looks up down he's like oh it's a beautiful name i'm like thanks okay thank you have a good night and he's like it'll be 10 minutes like sounds good and i'm so afraid after making a whole meal about how beautiful my name is he goes we got two tacos for rally so that i guess what's for taking me is like ordering because then i went out to dinner with friends like a night before then and it was like at this kind of place there's like a bunch of

different food stalls and you know you get it's like a food you know one of those like kind of a food court situation and i was at this one stall and i was looking i was looking at the menu and there was like a 10 year old girl like standing in front of me with like the um with the like card reader and she goes like she's like staring at me like expectantly and she's like hi i'm like oh hi hiya and then i just like go back to like waiting being like okay when's an adult gonna come and take my order and then like after another minute she goes you ready to order and i'm like oh um yeah i know i was embarrassed because like i'm like i didn't want to offend her, but also like,

is this legal? So I was like, oh, uh, uh, yeah, sorry. Um, I'll take the, uh, the chicken burger, but, um, uh, question, cause it's a chicken sausage patty. Is it just, the meat is just chicken in there, right? And she goes, um, hmm. And she goes, hey mom. And then like someone comes up and I'm like, what? And she's like,

is the chicken sausage patty just chicken? I don't know. Your dad's the one who grinds the meat. And then she's like, why don't you ask him? And she's like, oh, fine. And then she looks at me, she goes, I think it's just chicken thighs ground up. I'm like, okay, that's fine. And so I'm like, I'll have that and some fries, please. And she goes, okay. And she's like, you want to tap or insert your card? I'm like, ah, I'll try tapping. It didn't work. And she's like, hmm. And then she's like, I guess try inserting.

I'm like, okay, sounds good. And I insert. She goes, yeah, a lot of people like will usually insert over tapping just in case. I'm like, that's cool. She's all business. Yes. The mom gives me like a little number a number she's like you're number 40 if it doesn't buzz hey if it doesn't buzz in 15 minutes you come see me i'm like okay yes ma'am

and it buzzed in like eight but it was a very surreal uh A couple surreal like ordering food Situations has been shaking me I've had that a few times Like a bodega Or like a counter service place Where there's someone who's like absolutely A full child working the counter But I did have a couple months ago A full on waiter

At a restaurant that was a 10 year old girl No! It was so bizarre Literally I was sitting there and she comes over to us and she's like can i get you guys started with something to drink or like it was so it was genuinely bizarre we got the house red we got the house white like it was the other thing was so bizarre was because like the there was another waiter who was a full-grown man who was like i was like is this is this your brother? Is this your dad?

And they had like this like banter going on the whole time where he was like, yeah, no, that's your table. And it was like, it was so. This sounds like a dream. It was genuinely. Oh, now that I remember, it was, I was sleeping at the time. Oh, this didn't happen. Yeah. Also, the first thing, the first ordering thing, like I was a barista for a long time famously

I genuinely had a rule of thumb which was that I would ask somebody to repeat their name one time and if I couldn't if I couldn't hear it because of the noise whatever I was just like well take it a basket like I'm just gonna go and listen can I get a name for the order yes yeah could you say that one more time for me? And I understand that it's like sometimes they write things down like phonetically to, you know, and I was, I got coffee the other day and it was like, got an order for Riley or is it Rally or Rally? And I'm like, okay. Rally.

We've got an order for Rally. I loved like what felt very much like flirting and being like, oh, got a beautiful name. Got an order for Relly. Beautiful name. Don't wear it out. Okay. Rachel. Alfred.

I'm sorry. I had a big sandwich for breakfast. What's been shaking your ass? A big sandwich I had for breakfast. Well, you'd think that given all the time that you took to give yours that i have one tip of the tongue the teeth the lips the tip of the teeth the lung the lips um i think that the thing that has shaken me most of all this week um okay i mean i have to be fully honest about what

i wish you would and i have watched the entirety of season one of billions alone in alone in my apartment by myself in the span of about 10 days yeah um and here's what i'll say is it good i'm not going to answer that. It feels like right now it feels like bad Aaron Sorkin writing where it's like every single thing is like super pithy and like, you know, like walk and talk. But I think it is going to get better. And at the end of the day, it can't be that fucking bad, can it? Because I've watched every goddamn episode and I'm sitting here with baited breath going, what's Paul, what's Paul Giamatti going to do about it?

How's Paul Giamatti going to get out of this one? What's, what's, what's the Giamatti going to do? Heaven's Megatroid. Heaven's Megatroid. What is Paul going to do? Um,

so yeah, I guess billions, Jesus Christ. I guess the show billions has been shaking you. I guess the fucking show billions from seven years ago is what's been shaking me. it's on Paramount Plus.ount+. I love Paramount+. Can't say enough good things about Paramount+.

We are not getting sponsored by them. Hey, hey. Not with that attitude. You can find Alfred on Instagram at AlfredInnit. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview. And you can find us on Reddit, r slash ReviewReview, and our Discord. And if you want to hang out with me and Jeffreyffrey james um we have patreon.com and jeff and we have head gum youtube videos did you say the discord yes oh cool and you can find riley on instagram.com the web browser, not the phone app. At Riley and Spa.

And on X.com. For as long as it lasts. At Riley Coyote. And as we say every single fucking week. Every single week. We're so sick of saying this. It's like it comes out of my mouth like so much rubbish. Oh my god.

Come on. Your. Rubbish. Oh my God. Come on. You're a witch. You're a witch. You're a witch. See you next time, you're a witch. See you next time, witch. Bye. Bye. That was a HitGum original

Sir, yes sir That's right, your orders this summer are to Take these giant bomb pops And put them in your mouth Enjoy the summer heat, the summer breeze But make your summer more at ease With these bomb pops, cherry, lime, blue raspberry. Sir, yes, sir, time to

deploy. And then we'll see what happens to your family when you're gone. For a long time, maybe. Who knows? Will your dog still remember you when you come back? I know we've all seen the videos of soldiers

returning home from war and the dog gets so excited, but what if Skipper doesn't recognize your scent? What if Skipper went blind and he can't see the old man coming down the drive? Wipe those worries away with a

napkin on your face and you see the red, white, and blue drippings of a bomb pop that's right as soon as you got off the plane from your station they handed out bomb bombs to you and you couldn't have been more excited you haven't had any solid food in your stomach for weeks because we ran out of rations but don't worry we have bomb bombs enjoy with your kids and make memories with the little tots, the little tater tots. That's right. You got brats on the grill.

Tots, great to spill their beans about how hard it was for them for you to be away for so long. They actually aren't even sure what you're fighting for. Are you sure what you're fighting for? Doesn't matter. What you are sure of is that you got a bomb pop in your hand in your mouth and you're dreaming of being on the sand with your wife because lord knows you haven't had a vacation in years because you've been fighting for your country have you been fighting for your country is this is this like moral what we doing? Why are we doing this?

But what we are doing is going down to Kroger or Ralph's or whatever your regional supermarket chain is and you're buying a bomb hop. Share with your family. Don't let Skipper eat it because we aren't fully sure if it's safe for dogs or not. Bomb Pop. Eat it.