Review Revue - Popsockets

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Alf and Reilly raw-dog their flight, prepare for their Disney 365 Audition, identify bigfoot, and sink into quicksand on this weeks exciting episode of REVIEW REVUE.>>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Bye. This song is a theme for review, review

This song is a theme for review, review This song is a theme for review, review This song is a theme for review beauty view. This song is a theme for a beauty view. It's giving pitch perfect. And you're giving bitch perfect. Do you think it was more Bartimbellas or Treble Makers? Oh, honestly, it was like obviously like the voices of the Tre troublemakers, but like the energy of the Barton Bellas. Totally. I also think that it had the general vibe of the tone hangers, but then the kind of like feel of the high notes and the socapellas.

You are a nerd. That was from Lorne. Not Michaels. He's sent us enough. That was from Lorne Mintz. Lorne says, you guys seem to be desperate for theme songs. I don't really have any new ideas at the moment, but I cranked out this theme for you in about an hour. Hope it fills the void. Also, you guys are getting about 1% more insane with every episode. Loving it. Lauren, it didn't just fill the void.

It filled the silence. You guys might not know this, but Alf and I spend a lot of time just sitting in silence together it's meditative for me and it's repetitive you hear that? that's the longest silence alf and i've ever said it's true it made me so

i genuinely don't think you and i have ever sat in silence i don't think that's true ever um courtroom well when you when you were on trial or when i was on trial my i feel like the one where i was on trial like it was we were yapping away yeah that one was your trial was a lot we can admit more serious your trial was kind of like okay whatever nudge nudge right mine was like you know some like parking tickets like unpaid parking tickets like that was like and i'm not allowed to get into what mine was about actually legally no no legally it's like that would actually be really damning and like there's just so much red tape that it's like we can't pass but but that one was really serious so actually i do think that everyone in there like all our friends who came to support uh slash jeer were

actually really respectful about it totally and like you know if you guys out there right now like you're thinking like so and so like they would be such a great character witness like if i was ever on trial and i needed a character witness like you might think like your friend riley might be like a good yeah character you'd think i would just like do a trial run before you put them up is what i would say no pun intended because i a trial run of the trial run before you put them up is what i would say no pun intended because i a trial run of the trial run i've got the trial runs i'm shitting myself in the in the box on the witness on the witness box it's it's wednesday that we're recording would you like to hump day okay okay what what is it what are you doing no do you know every time i write the word wednesday i go

wednesday in my head that's not an original experience that is the most like that's the most universal experience okay i didn't realize i was on fucking trial again just okay we just i was acquitted like i thought we were note to self okay going forward on the rest of the podcast don't say anything relatable only say deeply unrelatable things that make me sound weird and out of touch no it just that just feels like that feels like the most basic like um i say Wednesday. Is that kind of crazy? I don't say Wednesday. No, you say it in your head,

as does everybody else. You know, okay, but this one's different. I rarely can spell restaurant correctly. That's one I feel like. I have to go rest-ow-round. Can I have a hamburger? You know what I struggle with to this day, every time? Guarantee. Oh, oh yeah i guarantee it i

guarantee that i can have hamburger at the rest hour but you know what i do say out loud when i when i write it people i always go peopel in my head peopel because i could peopel because i oh that's interesting right oh a little bit less relatable, maybe. That was better than the, hmm, I'm kind of a weird guy. I just fell wet Wednesday. Oh, that must be so strange. That's not what I was fucking doing. Oh, my God. He's going to be on trial again.

No, I can't afford to. I went to the John Waters exhibit last week. I loved it when I went. At the Academy Museum. You didn't, oh, fuck, you did go because you were here when I wasn't in town, you piece of shit. Even though I don't live.

It was incredible. It was incredible. I loved it. I loved it. Honestly, one of my favorite exhibits. It was curated so well. I thought it was great. I walked away from it being like,

I want to go home and watch every single John Waters movie now. Yeah. Yeah. I am embarrassed to say that I've only seen Hairspray. Same. It's like all the other, like so many of them have been on my list for a long time and just been like,

oh, I'll get to it. I'll get to it. And I just haven't been. But this exhibit has made me, I'm very excited to dive into the anthology. And never so, they're like, it was a perfect example of like one of those. But that's music. What the fuck am I thinking?

Filmography, girl. Filmography. It's a film. Oh my God. He's got one of the most interesting movieographies. Talking, talking picturesographies. Talking picturography but it is one of the things like when you

I didn't realize how referenced it was right like how much of these movies are just like the kind the people the sort of next generation of artists who were like so clearly deeply inspired by his work right then like

reference having these little nods and winks to his stuff that I was like, Oh, I feel like I have seen this movie because it's so in the culture. And like, I don't know. I love at the end of the exhibit, there was a, um,

just kind of like a room about like the fandom around John Waters. And like, there was a, a package video package of like all of the guest star things he's done like he was a voice in the Simpsons he played himself in the Simpsons Law and Order and Chucky like all these things and

on like the plaque kind of talking about this room it was talking about like how he is kind of his own figurehead of like his art and that all of the things he agrees to do, like in terms of like guest starring things, little cameo things are fame maintenance.

And I think that is the funniest thing I've ever fucking heard. I'd be happy with fame maintenance. Well, what's new with you? I know all the legal stuff you can't get into. Yeah, I know. It's like. But like as much as you can talk about like your life kind of other than that i know it's a little bit and it's not this but it's a little bit like asking like oj you know like what are you and now you want to it's a little bit i want

to say that's not the trial was such a different thing i can't get into it but it was a very different thing than what he was on trial for obviously but it's like the asking about it is a little like but it is a little bit like that he died since the last time we recorded i know it changes everything for us um like in terms of how we record and like our topics totally no 100 it's like a no like 100 no like it's different this is a different show no like i think there will be always like you you know before oj's death i would have said the two distinct eras of review review right there was like you and jeff you and me bc i would say now j i would say now that the two distinct errors are more like everything before oj died and everything after oj died yeah yeah um i, honestly, we picked this topic.

This is a post-OJ passing topic. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. So it's like, honestly, you would never see us having picked today's topic. We don't even need to say that. It's pretty clear. No, it's very clear. Like, you would literally, if you, could you imagine us picking this topic before OJ died?

I don't have to imagine it because it would never have happened. It would literally never have happened. People would see that and be like, this doesn't make any sense. But I'm good. Thank you for asking. Yeah. I took the train today. Who's that girl?

That's not the one I meant. What's the one where she's like, she throws her hat in the air? She's in the city. You know the one where she throws her hat in the air. She's in the city. You know, the one where she throws her hat in the air from the 60s. What show? The show from the 60s about the single girl in New York and she throws her hat in the air. No. Well, the listeners will know what I'm on about.

Oh, yeah. The listeners will remember it from our shared childhood 70 years ago. I'm Googling. I literally can't. I'm sorry. TV show 1960 girl throw hat. Hat in air. I got to find this.

1960 girl throw hat in air. I'm not getting anything. Just what did you do today? Christ, you took the train. All I'm getting is shit. You took the train, and then what happened? What happened after you took the train? That girl. The show was

called That Girl. That was so stupid. You just spent time on it. That was so stupid. Anyway, I took the train today, and the fucking thing nearly came off the rails because that's something you don't appreciate about the elevated train in chicago right is that like you're in the subway you're like well if it tips a little bit to one side as it's going around

a corner it's not really gonna it's gonna hit you're in chicago and they're way at rush hour they rip some of those turns you're going like 60 miles an hour around those bends and you're like this thing is like i can like if i look out the window i can see that we're at like a 45 degree like i hate that it's like subway surfers vibes i hate that actually yeah and if you fall it's like 40 foot you're going in the drink right in the river it's really there's something very very scary about the train sometimes. But I'm a big, I'm a big brave. I'm a big brave boy and I did it. Well, it's amazing.

You know what's something that actually is kind of helpful with balance and like stability? Practicing physical therapy. Gymnastics. Simone Biles. Well, I was going to say going to say, it's our post OJ death topic. Is it about balancing? We're talking pop sockets.

How was your week, man? Oh, mine was good. My what's new with me is that I went to the John Waters exhibit. Oh, that's true. We don't normally do yours first, so I guess I was kind of thrown by that. I know. This is crazy. It's more about me. Normally you hate to hear women oh right it's like the trial all over again i i'm gonna go first on this again fucker pop it socket polka dotted have i'm i'm playing with my

pop socket right now i have i wish you wouldn't do that on the podcast on my phone since they came out i have had one for years and years and years pop sockets came not the same one i think i've gone i mean it's like it's so fucked up that even had to you know right when what do you mean by that and what do you mean by that no i'm saying it's like you shouldn't have it shouldn't what do you mean by that though you have to come what does that mean though it means that it's like it doesn't matter. What do you mean by that, though? It shouldn't be the first time they should have to come out. What does that mean, though? It means that it's like it doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter.

Right. You don't see it. To you, it's like not even a thing. No, it is a thing. I'm just saying it's like it shouldn't be assumed that popsockets are a certain way. I should have gotten popsockets to testify my trial, dude. Your hope, Liz. I've had a popsocket on my phone for years. I cannot imagine not having one.

The amount of times that it has saved me from dropping my phone. It's like, I can't imagine not having it. You literally just need to, you just have your hand on the back of your phone. I've never had one. You've never had one? Literally, I got a new phone case. This was maybe like a year ago. And I didn't have a pop socket on it for a couple days because I had to get a new one.

And I felt like a claw like a witchy claw hand like you had a witch gripping my phone yeah and it made me so scared of dropping my phone because i shit you not i use my pop socket all the time i have one of my kindle it's like the fact that it saves my hands from like you know gripping up seizing up i love it it's like a little stim toy for me it's very fun to just kind of like mess with it i'm representing the doesn't have a pop socket lobby i just have to counter argue a few i mean first of all i will concede i drop my phone a lot and you're making me realize maybe i should invest in one of those look i'm showing off i'm putting i have my pop socket between my my forefinger and middle finger and i am just whoa whoa no i mean i can't if i try and do that oh look i dropped you dropped it the amount of

tiktoks i can watch in bed with just having the pop socket betwixt my fingers right i mean i can hold my phone i can hold my phone with one hand no i know you can but your your hand's gonna get tired and then you're gonna it's gonna cramp and you know what have you ever dropped your phone on your face while you're like while you're in bed yes okay no i'm saying but that's just that's user error that's not that's a skill issue that's not a pop socket issue okay i don't think my hand has ever gotten tired from holding my phone you have not been on your phone for long enough i think that the numbers i'm putting up would disagree with that um you on your trad wife the 12 plus hours of trad wife content i woke up this morning and my husband said he wanted, you know, a piano.

Another son. Oh my God. There are so many different kinds of, I've had a black pop socket, just a black pop socket for a long time. But one of my friends is a visual artist and he put his own art, like really pretty kind of trippy paintings on a pop socket had one of those for it's like you can get them in a lot of different designs you can really kind of show off your personality on your tech or whatever you use a pop you can really show off

your personality on your show off your personality on your oh don't you know you can really show off your personality on your tech if you were to get a pop socket, what design would you get? Well, you can see my phone case here. Plain black, just plastic-looking phone case. So I think I would want something that was a pop of color, a pop socket. A pop socket of color. And so I think, yeah, I think like, I don't know. I get nervous when people have things like pop sockets.

So much pressure, right? I know. I'm very anxious, man. When people get pop sockets, like when they have like phone cases and stuff, they're like say things about them, you know? This isn't going. I can't. I can't.

I will get roasted for the way this is going, man. What were you going to say? I'm genuinely very curious. It was about six months ago that I, for the first this is going man what were you gonna say i'm genuinely very curious it was about six months ago that i for the first time put a oh my god this is deposition this is deposition it was about six months ago your honor um the first time that i changed my phone background from being the default thing that just comes when you get your iPhone out of the box. I was roasted by one person at first, and then it spread to the whole group saying,

serial killer, serial killer. I was just going to say that sociopathic. Only a sociopath would use the default, just kind of like color-y, wavy background. Nobody told me we were all walking around with customized photos. I didn't know we were doing that. I mean, you have to look at it every day. Well, I don't, though.

Like, who... My hours and hours of screen time, that's Tradwife content. It's not me just staring at my wallpaper. No, I know. But, like, it'll come up. And, like, don't you... Like, mine's a photo of me and Daniel. And I look at it and I'm like, oh, it's me and Daniel. I know, but I don't want anyone to know about like mine's a photo of me and daniel and i look at it

i know but i don't want anyone to know that about me what do you have it's like it's either that or my my social security number and credit card literally my passport my phone background is my passport so it's like i can't it's like either the default factory settings or personal information i know i know i don't i don't have a good it's the same with bumper stickers right it's like i just don't that's private i don't have that's private you don't need to know what my other car is and yeah it's a tardis yeah um it's the mandalorian let's get into it let's take a really quick break alf is gonna think about some things if your other car and if your other car's a tardis you might be a hoovian we'll be right back with

some reviews And we're back. If the thing you're most afraid of in the world is a Dalek, you might be a Whovian. This is five stars for the Tranquil Aura Pop Socket. Whoa. How many aura points does... I'm not even going to pretend to know what that trend means. From Christine E. Um,

Christine E. Baranski. Christine E. Baranski. Christine E. Baranski. This pop socket looks great with a glitter gel case with the same ocean blue. Travel to Barbados and my phone needs to have a summer beachy outfit as well.

What? Smiley face. I feel like more and more these days they just have you waiting. Sorry, what's that? Take off my headphones. I was saying, I feel like more and more these days they just have you waiting. Oh, I mean, long haul flight. You'd wait at the gate, and now they have you wait here on the runway.

And it's like, I'd rather wait by the audience. You know, the pretzel. Totally. Auntie Anne's. Is it Annie Anne's? Auntie Anne's? I don't know. Oh, sorry.

Pulling off everyone's again. Sorry, what was that? I was just saying, is it Auntie Anne's? Did I say Auntie Anne's, or is it Auntie Anne's? Which one is it? I think that's one of, like, that's, like, a regional thing. Caramel, caramel. Yeah. Yeah. Caramelamel, caramel. Yeah. Caramel.

All right. Putting it back on. I'm raw-dogging it. I'm fucking sorry? Have you seen that online? I don't feel comfortable having this. I don't've seen. I don't feel comfortable having this. I don't know you. I don't feel comfortable having this.

No, no, no, no. It's a thing, like, these guys are doing. It's mostly guys, but people are doing it online. It's like. I don't watch porn, and I don't feel comfortable talking about it. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

No, no, no. It's like they'll sit on the flight, and they, like, won't look at their phone, like, or they'll listen to music or anything. They'll just, like, stare straight ahead for eight hours or whatever. Oh. And they call it like that, I guess they call it. I've heard it referred to as a dopamine detox. Right.

Sure. Yeah. So that's what I was trying to do for this one. Oh. I think part of it, I would imagine, is like not talking to people. Is that part of it? I don't know. I'm just.

Shit. Did I already blow up? Sorry, I know. We haven't taken off yet. Does that count? You know, maybe I should switch seats. Once they get this puppy in the air, I'm not going to talk to you. Because I know I have a lot of tech with me, and I don't want to distract you.

That's okay. So maybe it might be better if I switch. I think I'm allowed. I think, you know, I think let's try and help you switch seats. No, I think I'm allowed to, like, look over and be like, what are they watching? And I'll, like, maybe watch your show for, like, 20 minutes. Oh, I actually think the whole point of it is like no screens no but i don't think it counts if it's not like if i'm staring straight ahead and i can see like out of my

periphery that you're watching like n ncis or whatever like i think i'm allowed to watch that on your tablet i also i mean i think you're allowed to do you have a tablet in there i mean like i said i have i have a lot of tech i bring a lot for my job i you're allowed to do, do you have a tablet in there? I mean, like I said, I have, I have a lot of tech. I bring a lot for my job. I bring, I have a lot of tech. What do you do for work? Um, I actually, uh, I work at genius bar and Apple. And so I'm, I'm just, I'm traveling, uh, for work.

Cool, man. I bet you got some serious tech in that thing. Yeah. I just, you know, like I said, I do carry a lot of tech. I, this has been awesome. I really think that if you want to raw talk the flight, then I should move. No, I just, I promise this is done. You and I, I won't, I won't bother you anymore.

No, no. No, I was clearly upsetting or irritating you. It's not, no, it's, I just, I feel or irritating you. It's not. No, it's. I just, I feel really weird when people kind of like read things over my shoulder or watch things over my shoulder. I take it back. I'll see like maybe the guy in front of you is going to be watching something. I'll watch his. I mean, again, I don't care what you do.

I don't know you. I do feel like if you are actually like, you're not really raw dogging the fly. Like you, you're allowed to do what you do. I don't know you. I do feel like if you are actually, like, you're not really raw-dogging the flight. Like, you're allowed to do whatever you want. Yeah, well, you're, like, whatever the opposite of it is, that's what you're doing, right? You're, like, I just mean, like, you're not raw-dogging the flight, so it's kind of weird that you're telling me how to do it. I never said I wanted to do that. Right, but I'm just saying, like, I'm not... I have, like, an iPhone SE. Like, I'm wearing, like,

ten pops. No, five pops. I have five seconds on each hand. I have an iPhone SE between everything. Can you just put your headphones back on? You mind yours. I'll mind mine.

I'm sorry I said anything. Hopefully this puppy takes off soon. My hands are, like, webbed, but it's just all phones. Wait, hold on. Can you please... That's, like, to take my eye out. I'm not.

No, I'm not aggressive. I'm not aggressive. I'm not trying to be violent. I am just saying that you said you wanted to raw dog the flight. And listen, I don't care what you do. But as I really, you know, I care about structure. I care about things being done right. I mean, hell, I work at the Genius Bar.

I want things to be perfect. I want it to be seamless and organized and running well. And if you look at the man screen in front of you, if you watch me watching Disney's Descendants on my iPad. Is that what you're going to watch? Maybe. Have you started going to watch? Maybe. Have you started? I don't know. I don't want you to know.

What I'm saying is, I haven't started that. I will know that you're not actually doing what you've set out to do, and that's upsetting to me. Okay. I will, I'll stare forward.

I'll leave you alone. Okay. I hope we take off soon. It is a long time to wait. I'm not violent. Never said you were. You kind of looked at me like you were nervous.

I was going to hit you with a phone. First thing you said was I'm not trying to be violent i'm never no one's ever trying well exactly doesn't mean you're not you got an extra one in there i could use sorry what's that take off headphones again you got all those phones in there i guess i'm just wondering if there's an extra one. Oh, sorry. It was that they were AirPods under my AirPods Max.

Sorry, what was that? You got an extra pair of AirPods or anything I could use? I have a lot of pairs of everything. Okay, great. I would really appreciate it if I could borrow one. I thought I could do this. I'm freaking out. We haven't even taken off yet.

I know. I know that. I know that. I know that. But you don't understand. I'm freaking out We haven't even I know I know that I know that but you don't Understand I'm freaking out and I would really Love to have a to be able To plug in a little bit just A Apple watch I'll take Apple watch I'll look at my heart rate for eight hours

I just need something Some piece of tech Well I mean I have a lot of tech Can I please something As soon as I mean, I have a lot of tack. Okay, can I please something? As soon as... I just want... I will happily lend you anything. Okay.

But I need you to admit that, like, you're tapping out of the raw dog job. Yes, I'm not raw dogging. I'm not raw dogging anymore. I was stupid. I don't know why I did that. I said that. Okay. I mean... I open up my jacket like an old-timey peddler.

I just have all tech on the inside of my coat. How'd you get that thing through TSA? Well, it's because I work in Genius Bar. And guys like us, they let us through pretty easily. Wow, I didn't know it came with all those perks. Well, I mean, when you work in tech, things happen for you.

I wouldn't know. What do you do? I'm a carpenter. Wow, I knew a carpenter once. Really? A pretty famous one. I still know him. Famous carpenter. Oh, Abe Lincoln? No. You know what? It's a long flame. Famous carpenter. Oh, Abe Lincoln. No.

You know what? It's a long flame. Karen Carpenter. Is it Karen Carpenter? No, it's Jesus. Christ? You know him? Let's do our next one.

Okay, I would love to go ahead and do mine. I would really love that. No, I would actually. Seriously? That would be so cool. Would you really, though? Yes! I would.

No, I'm not lying. Okay. This is for Bigfoot. Bigfoot Starry Night Van Gogh sky painting art to pop the socket. So I'll show that to you there. It looks like Van Gogh's Starry Night. It looks like AI vomit. But I actually think that a human mind created this.

It's as if the Bigfoot, the Sasquatch, was in Starry Night. I'm just describing it. This is for Meg. No last name. Meg. Don't say Griffin Challenge. You know what? I wasn't at level impossible.

Meg. Stewie. Megan Stewie. Mummy. Five stars. Pop socket. A funky big foot pop socket. Exactly what every weirdo needs.

Oh, God. And by weirdo, I mean me. Did somebody say weirdo? Wait a minute. Bigfoot hunter? Weirdo? I think you dropped this. It's my name okay babe i know that you are in the final final callbacks to be the lead in my dog

ate your homework but i don't want you to go in there thinking that i don't want you to go in there being like oh my god you know if i get this i could make so much money and then go on to do like hbo like big movies like i don't think about that don't think about how this money could could you know we could finally have a family don't think about that think about you're just you're Dale you know just really live in Dale I wasn't thinking about that until you said it but the past couple takes have been you feel more in your head Chris you feel more I wonder why I feel more in my head I'm you feel more yeah i wonder why i feel more in my head i'm saying can we just do the take obviously no i'm i'm not an actor i'm not an actor let's

switch sides honestly i work in tech but it's like no but it's your i'm just saying like from an outside point of view i can tell you're in your head and so just going into this next take i want i'm just i know i'm just saying what i'm'm saying. I'm kind of sick of the first scene. Can we just do the second? We'll come back to the first one later. Absolutely. I think that's a really good idea. Because I feel like if we just keep doing this one over and over again, I'm going to get fucking. You're going to run into the ground.

Totally in my head about it. You know, 100%. And then it's just going to feel like words. Like, you're not actually going to be experiencing it. I completely agree. Okay. Okay. Yeah, so it's just printed on the other side of that one do you

do i i forget do they want me to read like establishing school hallway or like they're probably not yeah well not probably not like that yeah i can always trim if it's at the beginning or the end i can always trim it but like will it help you kind of like get into yeah i think it will but if it's in the middle you know and it's Yeah, I think it will. But if it's in the middle, you know, and it's like an action line, do read that. If it's like she hands him a thing. Because otherwise I won't know what's going on. Totally. Just use your judgment.

And this is just, we'll rehearse it. But if it says like sultry, you know what I mean? You don't have to like say sultry and then the line. I got you. I got you. Okay. Establishing interior, school hallway. Dale carries his heavy, heavy backpack, and he is stopped in his tracks when he sees Penelope,

the prettiest girl in school, standing in front of his locker. Uh, hey, Penelope. hi dale um sorry i just had to tie my shoe it's been giving me a lot of grief today continuing to trip me up am i in front of your locker oh it's no worries it's tying your shoe you've got me tongue tied like your shoe okay can i stop this really please am i word perfect on that am i word perfect on that um because i think i'm our word yeah okay no you're perfect it's just like it is the line i'm just saying it could be can i try it like i don't mean to give you like a line i don't know how you guys feel about line read but it's like we feel fine about it what do you mean you got yeah we feel fine you guys feel about line read, but it's like... We feel fine about it. What do you mean you got... Yeah, we feel fine.

You guys, actors. Maybe it's like, well, you got me tongue-tied. Oh, God. Can you add a little, oh, God. Did I say that? I can try that. I know, but... Okay.

Let's try one where you're not word perfect. Let's try one where you just add what you think Dale would actually say. And then you can put that into the character you know yeah okay um so it's down to interior school hallway can i shake it out yeah yeah dale is carrying his heavy backpack and he is stopped in his tracks when he sees penelope the pretty school in school in Oh, hi, Penny. Oh, hi, Dale. I'm sorry. I had to tie my shoe.

It's been giving me a lot of grief today. Am I in front of your locker? Do you need something? Oh, no. Tying your shoe? You got me tongue-tied. Meow. I don't know. You got me tongue tied. Meow. I don't know.

You were making noises. So I tried to make noises. I don't. I feel like yours. I thought. Are you still Dale right now? No, I'm me again. I'm Chris. Okay.

Do you. Sorry. So do you want me to play along with you? Will that. Will it help you feel more in the world if I'm like. I don't. On that level. Let's try that.

Are you sure? I feel like this is the wrong path no no I feel like you're getting embarrassed because I'm not kind of in that like Disney mindset sometimes like you know you're my big tech girlfriend like you don't I know hang out with these kind of weirdo actor types all day like I I do. Like it's just like. No, I'm going to jump in. I'm going to dive in feet first. Okay. Sounds like a plan.

Interior school hallway. Dale carries the backseat. Penelope, that whole thing. Okay. Hi, Penelope. Hey there, Penelope. Hey there, Penelope. Whoa. Hey, Dale.

I'm sorry. I had to tie my shoelace. I'm in front of your locker, aren't I? I'm so stupid. Tongue-tied I am. Sorry, I need to break it. What? I thought you were going to play along.

I was playing along, but you, like, that wasn't't what you were doing you know that that's not what they want i feel like you're trying to blow it i'm not i feel like you're trying to throw the audition i'm not trying do you even want this do you even want your homework are you serious you think i like i am serious carried around by you like i'm your baby boy i'm just saying you went through all these rounds i don't want you to financially support me with your big gorilla like what are you doing i wasn't a gorilla it was his primal side and you think that's appropriate for disney plus i don't know where they're pitching these shows anymore no i'm serious you do know because you've gone through all these rounds of callbacks what was that at the end what do you mean you don't know fucking the marvelous

mrs the vision what wanda vision that that was you're telling me that was pitched at kids the show is called the dog ate your homework the dialogue goes oh sorry dale i am i in front of your locker you know the whole thing and then you say oh tying your shoe you got me tongue tied hey you got a date for the dance i know the line i know the whole thing. And then you say, oh, tying your shoe? You got me tongue-tied. Hey, you got a date for the dance tomorrow night? I know the line. I know the line. So then why aren't you doing it? Okay, let's just do one straight then.

None of this weird moaning that you introduced. I didn't introduce the moaning. Let's just do it straight. You introduced... Okay, fine. Fine. Just start. I'm not even going to read the actions.

Hi, Penny. Hey, Dale. Sorry, I had to tie my my shoe it's been giving me grief all day am i in front of your locker oh you are but it's fine tying your shoe you've got me tongue tied do you have a date and you forgot your fucking line no my god i was pausing hear that dead air that was so fuck this fuck this let's go back to the first scene let's go back to the first scene okay great because i think i'm out of my head actually no okay then actually really live in it like go for it go three two one go fully in it think you can bully me like this uh yeah i think i can bully anyone who's uh smaller than me by how about a million percent right boys well that's what you think all the Well, that's what you think. All the boys laugh. That's what you think until you've met my radioactive dog.

Yeah. And then the dog runs out of the bushes. Bites him in the... Starts to eat. Yep. Bites him in the butt. Bites him in the butt. Oh, oh, get this pooch off my tooch.

Hope you enjoy radiation poisoning, loser. That'll teach you to mess on little kids. And scene. I don't know, man. I don't think I do want it. I think you were right. I don't think I want it. This shit sucks.

It's terribly written. I don't know what you're talking about. No, you were Dale just then. No, man. I don't want to hear that you're just fucking me around no you babe you were Dale

like I didn't even see Chris in here I don't want to hear that I'm not trust me I would not say that seriously no I wouldn't just say that

yes 100% I would not just say that thank you that means a lot cut to 8 months later. Tonight, the premiere of The Dog Ate Your Homework. Here's a sneak preview of our hit new show.

Buddy, no! Dale, your dog's gone into my yard again. Sorry, he's fiending for plutonium. I'm fiending maybe for a date? I know I'm not Penelope, the prettiest girl in school, and I'm kind of a weirdo on the science team, but maybe we have a chance? Penelope?

She's old news. She reminds me of the stuff my dog puts out. You're so funny. Oh, wait! Your dog's eating my horn. Don't touch him. You'll get sick. Wednesdays at 7

830 Central. I don't think I want to be an actor anymore. I have not posted about this show online at all. I don't want people to know that. I wish I'd used a different name and a different face. Let's do our next review. Would you care to share or shall I? I have.

Stop. I don't want to do the voice thing anymore, man. I have five stars for a hot pink pop socket. Yeah, five stars from Paws, P-A-W-S, and a no last name. Paws? Mm-hmm. Paws Rewind Eject. Paws Rewind Eject. Five stars. Hit me. Pause, rewind, eject.

Five stars. Hit me. The title is so pretty. Not trying to come off a certain way, dot, dot, dot. But to everyone who complained, OMG, seriously, LMAO, it's a pop socket. There is way more things to worry about in life than a pop socket being the wrong color. If it's that much of a problem, return it. It's that simple. And then like six exclamation point six question marks. I get that it was described as one thing and came to you as another, but it's such a perfectly

pretty pink. Lesson for y'all to read the reviews first. Smiley face, all caps. I love it. It fits my entire phone's vibe and my personality perfectly. And to be fair, I've had to order and reorder things until it was what I wanted. Easy fix, smiley face. Sometimes not worth our energy or time. Two of us in quicksand. Say that again. Two people in a bit of quicksand. Okay, I'm there.

Let me drop that in. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, Tina. I know that this wasn't your ideal day, but the more you complain about it, babe, like the harder it's gonna be. Stop moving your arms so much. You're gonna sink faster. I'm okay. I'm

chill. I'm fine. I'm actually barely moving my arms i'm just saying you're like freaking out and it's like probably reach the branch over there on the right i think you can probably reach it oh my god tina it's like girl i love you but like sometimes it's like you make it the biggest deal in the world it's like it's sand you know like at the end of the sometimes it's like you make it the biggest deal in the world. It's like it's sand, you know, like at the end of the day, it's sand. Right, right, right. I'm not. Okay. Is this about this is about Dave, is it?

Or. Oh, I don't care about. Oh, my God. You think I still care about Dave? You think I still care about Dave? That's actually that's like literally hilarious. No, that's actually so funny that you think I still care about that.

Like you could have made your move at any time. Like. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my God, no, I literally have already moved on. I'm literally already like, oh wow, the sand's touching my belly button. Like I'm already there. Like I'm not, I'm so past the whole Dave of it all.

Okay. Cool, because I was worried for a minute that that's what you were like, you know, you were taking this out on me. But now that I know you're over it, you can just grab the tree branch, right? Oh my god, babe. You are so... You can just grab the tree branch, right? You're still thinking about that? You're not over it?

I mean, he's my boyfriend. Of course I think about him. Oh, I'm saying you think about how he used to be with me. He was never with you. Depends on who you talk to. And if you talk to everybody, then yeah, he was with me. But I don't care. Well, according to him, that never happened, so um sorry uh i'm just trying to get my arm honestly i was gonna

reach up and grab the branch right right but at this point it's like this actually feels kind of good like i don't know about you like i honestly i don't care about, like, glamping and, like, all that girly stuff. Like, I'm really just down to be, like, in the quicksand, getting sucked in. Like, I'm chill like that. And, like, if Dave's still, you know, I guess he's into really prissy kind of, like, girly girls who need certain things. What? Prissy? I'm not prissy, okay? It was my idea to come on a hike.

So I don't mind getting dirty. I'm not bothered by the fact that we're in the... You know, I love this too, actually. This is fucking... You're not bothered? You keep saying, oh, grab the branch, grab the branch. Because I was worried about you because you're weak. You have that weak kind of like sickly disposition.

And I was worried you might get sick. I'm 5'9". You get sick? I'm 5'9". You get sick? I'm 5'9". That, okay. So he likes those pretty ballerina types like that's not me

Like yeah I'm short and scrappy and I Like hanging with the boys I'm just saying I have a lot more sinking I can afford to do than you do okay So um no it's like What I hear you saying is that you're like oh I'm afraid Of death I'm afraid of death but like I'm not I actually am if we were to just get

Sucked up right now I'm chill I'm chill I am I'm chill about it I were to just get sucked up right now, I'm chill. I'm chill. I am. I'm chill about it. I'm literally in nirvana right now. Like I have achieved enlightenment right now. I am so fucking fine with this. And I think it's honestly so sad and petty that you're like losing it over that. Like you're freaking out.

And it's like you are actually freaking out. I know. You're like, you're like seething. And it's like tragic to see. out i know girl you're like see you're like seething and it's like tragic to see park ranger runs up he's so hot he's like the hottest guy you've ever seen ladies ladies oh my god do you guys need help oh clearly you do let me go and get the team oh my god no mr ranger this is you're so cute. No, you do not. I'm so good. My friend actually might need help. No, Mr. Ranger, she's being so brave. She's really freaking out.

She's being so brave. She's being so brave, Mr. Ranger. But she was saying, right before you got here, she was really freaking out. Could you call and help her get her out? Maybe helicopter her to safety? Oh, no, actually, Ranger, I'm so, like, I just want, like, a beer right now. I could kick back with some video games and a beer. But, like, my friend, like, really needs to get out of here.

Like, she's really scared. Honestly, Ranger, you remind meanger you remind me like a lot of like some of my friends because most of my friends are guys actually like girls have so much drama right like it's like girls have no and i've always said no but like she doesn't get it like she's always hanging out with girls she's always she always seems to be in the middle of it you know what i mean it's like i don't gossip like i'm above that like i just like no i like listen i hate drama i just want to like play some super smash bros with the boys like i'm like a little sister to all the guys i know yeah and i'm like you know always like up to our neck up to the no like having to like seriously i I really, like, I love football. I watch a lot of football.

She means kind of British football, but she actually doesn't. No, I mean the Bears. The patch. No, she doesn't. She doesn't give a shit about. It's just our mouths. She doesn't give a shit about the Bears. She doesn't give a shit about football.

She's a fucking liar. She's a fucking liar. She watches the patch. She's a fucking liar. She watches the patch. She watches Love Island. She wants to be a pretty princess. She wants to get proposed to. She wants to be a ball about football. She's a fucking liar. She's a fucking liar. She watches the Bachelorette. She watches Love Island. She wants to be a pretty princess. She wants to get proposed to. She wants to be a ballerina, but she

doesn't have the height. I don't even care about marriage. I don't know if I want kids. Do you have time for one more? Sure, I could do another one. This one's gonna go ahead and be for, you're never gonna guess, Bigfoot Starry Night Sasquatch. Oh. Vango, it's the same same one it's a rich vein for me this

one is going to come from jesse eisenberg jesse eisenberg from the facebook movie one star print is too dark this was such a cool pop online. In person, you cannot see any detail. It's pretty much a black and gray pattern. You can't tell it's Bigfoot at all. Okay, and so if you are going to be entering the FBI, this is your final exam, just a little psychological kind of exam we're doing before entering officially. And I'm going to have you sit here.

I'm going to put some images on the screen. Okay. And I would like you just to give your first word that comes to mind when you see these. They should be pretty clear at first and then a little bit more abstract as we go along. Okay, Agent Combs? Yeah, that's perfect. Thank you.

And again, I just want to say thank you for the opportunity. You know, it would be the honor of my life to serve. Absolutely. Okay, great. I will be behind this door. If you have any questions, you just call for me and I'll be right here. Affirmative.

It's just a photo of a cat. Alright, Agent Combs, first word that comes to mind. Cat. Great. Perfect. A little calibration. Here we go, next one's a horse. Horse. Fantastic. Great so far. Next one, plate of eggs. Scrambled eggs.

Great. Wonderful. We're starting to get a bit more creative with it. Okay. It's a painting of Bigfoot, but it's very abstract. Bigfoot. Yes. Wow. Okay, great.

Next one. It's another one of Bigfoot, but it's even more abstract. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be fast. I guess I'd have to say Bigfoot. Wow. Yes. Yes. Sorry.

Kat, are you writing this down? We've never said anything. No, we've never. This is unprecedented. We're going to go to, we're gonna go to we're gonna just ramp him up to level eight i know no he can he's there he can handle it okay um sorry mr agent combs uh a little bit of a tech issue back here we are going to keep going um it is like almost unintelligible like what you're looking at it just almost kind of looks like tv static oh that's um

that's a yet oh you know i was gonna say yeti but i think i i think that's bigfoot come out i come out of the door mr combs did someone show you these images before you came into the room uh no I don't believe so. Mr. Combs, you are under oath the minute you enter this building. Everyone knows that about the FBI. No liars. Did someone show you these images before you came in to do the test? And you testify in court.

Of course. Kevin, close the door. Agent Combs, do you understand the severity of this situation? Your situation? I don't understand what's happening. You showed me a cat, a horse, and then three pictures of Bigfoot, and now I'm getting the third degree from you. It's not the third degree. No.

No one. No agent who has come through here has been able to identify level eight. Oh, I get it. This is all part of the test, right? See how I respond to being made fun of? No. If you don't want to... Every other agent who comes in here says, oh, it's just TV static.

That's just abstract art. And they told me hazing ended at the academy. You can see things other people can't. And we want to move you to a special division yeah okay move me then okay cut to two years later you are the head of like paranormal fbi division and yes we made it agent combs i have your car- Oh, sorry, sir. I- I'm just feeling a little rushed today.

Um, today's the day that hopefully I make it up from an assistant to an agent. And I'm a little nervous. I'm rooting for you, kid. I really am. You know, sir, there's legends about you in these halls. Yeah, you shouldn't believe everything you see on the news. Well, I mean, it's not just the news. I'm sure you- you know all the stories about you in these halls. Yeah, you shouldn't believe everything you see on the news. Well, I mean, it's not just the news. I'm sure you know all the stories about you by now. Once or twice.

I have to ask, is it true? Guilty as charged. You caught Bigfoot. I didn't just catch him. I caught him. And I spatchcocked him like a roast chicken. What'd he taste like, sir? If I told you that, I'd have to kill you.

No, no, don't, don't. No, he tasted a lot like man. Like human meat? Like human meat, yes. That's what the boys and I were saying that he might have. I was a little too nervous to ask you. He's basically that. He was basically that.

What? But he can't hurt anyone anymore. Was he hurting people, sir? If I told you that, I'd have to kill you. Oh, no, don't do it. Was he hurting people, sir? If I told you that, I'd have to kill you. Oh, no, don't do it. Was he violent? Or was that just a superstition? You can't believe everything you read on the news, Private.

Aye, aye, Captain. Well, here's your coffee anyway, and i'm honored to be working under you i hope i get to work alongside you real soon i do too you're a good kid good heart part of why i hope what do you mean all i have to do is just pass this silly you know warshack kind of art test son this was never the plan it's never what i wanted to do i wanted to be a normal fbi agent right not a paranormal fbi agent right oh come first it was bigfoot logness monster the yeti you really did a number on her sir the jersey devil the orang pendek a lot of jackalopes more More than I care to count.

I find these fuckers and I spatchcock them. Is that the protocol, sir? Ask me why I do it. I was just asking, is that protocol, sir? Because those were my orders. To kill all fantastical beings. That's right.

Right from President Bush himself. Let's do our last segment. What the hell, man? I don't even fucking give a shit anymore. This shook me all week long. All week long. This shook me. It was shaking me from the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Wednesday. Wednesday. Do you have one or should I go? I got rid of clothing. Congratulations. Three. Count them. Three garbage bags.

That's how I'm trying to be. I need to do that. In that garbage bag were several items of clothing that I used to wear all the time. Ask me where I bought those clothes. Where? Spencer's

gifts. Now, in my defense, they were clothes I hadn't worn since I was probably 15. Still. And I know you're thinking why do you a 26 years young year old still have the clothes you wore when you were 15 no i have some things i'm a hoarder that's. Anyway, it was so cathartic to get rid of the clothes, especially the ones that came from Spencer's Gifts, Hot Topic, etc. Buried the lead on Hot Topic.

What are you talking about? And so I feel like a new man and I'm excited to immediately go out and buy a bunch of other clothes that I'll hate and never wear. I really need to do a cleaning out of my closet as well. It was pretty awesome. I'm inspired by you. I did the opposite and a cleaning out of my closet as well. It was pretty awesome. I'm inspired by you. I did the opposite and I fell victim to consumerism yet again. Timu.

My podcast co-host is a Timu victim. I got an iPad. Okay. I am an iPad baby. I'm an iPad kid. Goo goo gaga. Goo goo gaga. I always thought iPads were stupid.

I thought they were just big phones. I thought they were so dumb and so pointless. Okay. Unless you were like a graphic designer. Right. I thought they were stupid. Okay. I didn't understand the point.

Right. I thought they were dumb. They've been around for a long time. I guess. I thought they were so dumb. And then some of my friends Started getting What do you do on it

Cut to the chase I do everything I have this like Good notes Which is an It's like The planning of it all The notebooks of it all

The like Kind of for all Producorial needs I don't buy it Of like keeping things organized This is like when people When you buy a label maker Okay do I use

Most of the time to watch New Girl in various rooms of my home? Sure. There we go. Did I finish Love Island on this when I had a perfectly good TV in the other room?

Yeah. But do I also use it because I have like an art, the coloring book app that I'll get a little high and watch some TV while I color in it? Yeah.

Wowza. So it really fits all needs. I love it. I love it. I can't believe I didn't get one sooner. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. I guess I have two questions.

Okay. Did you change the background? Yes. Okay. Because I'm not so serious. Right, right, right, right. Second question. Do you have a pop socket? No. Because I don't need one for this because I'm going associated right right right right second question do you have a pop socket

no because i don't need one for this because i'm gonna turn my camera i have a stand for oh my god oh my god this is like really bad it's really i didn't realize how bad it was no i did not really in i'm like fully all the way i'm and the case i I have is like it's the kind of one where it's like it folds in the back to the little triangle stand. We're all familiar. I mean, well, it's new to me. I mean, I've seen it. I've been around it. Anyway, I'm an iPad baby.

I'm an iPad kid. I'm afraid I'm going to come back to you and you're going to be queuing on. Is that anything? Do I need to be worried about that? It's not nothing. Will the algorithm plug right in and take control? Maybe.

But until then, you can find Alfred on Instagram at AlfredInnit. Psych, he's never on there. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview, Reddit at ReviewReview, and ReviewReview Discord. And oh yeah, Jeff and my Patreon, patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff. And you can find Riley on Instagram.com.

Just the web browser, though. Not the phone app. At Riley and Spa. And on Twitter.com. Now known as XXX.com for as long as it lasts. At Riley Coyote. And as we see every single week. Wait.

Sorry. Two things. Oh, my God. We didn't set an intention. Which also feels very in line with the show. Wanking shit. Guys, unfortunately, I am starting to post TikToks more. Do I have to add a thing in the TikTok?

Yeah, it's just at RileyAnnSpa on TikTok. Okay. Can I take it from the top? No. I'm going to because I need to figure out how it fits in. I wish you told me this sooner. And you can find Riley on Instagram.com. Just go by

browser, not the phone app. At Riley and Spa. And on Twitter.com now known as xxxxx.com for as long as it lasts. At Riley Coyote. And on TikTok. TikTok. No, that's nothing. Let me try it again. And on TikTok. Till the party don't stop. riley and spa and as we say

every single week we're always saying it we're never not we're never not saying this simple the air as we say every week on the show see you next time Bye. This song is a theme for review, review This song is a theme for review, review This song is a theme for review, review This song is a theme for review, review That was a Hidgum original.