Review Revue - Prenatal Yoga

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

New year new Review Revue! Join Reilly Anspaugh and new co-host Alfred Bardwell-Evans as they read reviews on Prenatal Yoga, give birth to twin 12-year-olds, embezzle funds, and speak to a th...erapist.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh  Twitter: @reilecoyote  <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. The End Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Wipe the blades, wipe the blades, wipe the blades,
Starting point is 00:00:49 Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James. Jeffrey James and Rybie and Spock Are here for you reading reviews Improvisations with nothing to lose Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James So I picked that song at random.
Starting point is 00:01:24 That was a submission from Jay from January 18th of 2022. And I can't help but feel like it was the perfect submission to launch us into review, review phase, well, two. In two, zero, two, well, three. Three. I was hoping it was going to work. No, it's okay. You'll get there.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Jay, that was really intense and incredible and got me excited because we're here. It is a new year and I'm not drinking a beer. No, we're here with me. I don't even know. This is so wild. This is so wild. I'm still not over it. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. Hi, Alfred. Welcome. weird it's surreal it's strange um you know it's uncomfortable and uh i am excited at the same time so yeah it's it's exciting and wild and here we are and welcome everybody um to this next chapter of the show with me and alfred as your host this is. And I'm so glad to have that theme song because... Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James. That's the one, that's the one.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Jeffrey James, Jeffrey James. It reminds us why we're here. And it's to honor a fallen friend. I mean, it's like, Jeff was such an amazing guy in many ways, in many ways. And it's like, it's just such a loss.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Um, and he's not dead, but he's dead to us. Yeah. I mean, God, the man, the man,
Starting point is 00:03:17 the man was the footstool at my wedding. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I know. I know. Oh God. It's really,
Starting point is 00:03:24 it's a shame. Uh, but we're here and it's a new year which is weird to talk about because the time of recording is very much still december 2022 sorry sorry to ruin the magic i thought it was 2023 you ruined the magic for me too. That's crazy. I entered into a trend. Since we're, since we're, this is the first episode of the new year. It's the first episode of the new regime.
Starting point is 00:03:54 What do you feel like new year's was like? Like if you had to guess like, okay, let's say it's 2023. How are we feeling? How are you feeling in the first week of 2023? If you had to project a couple weeks from now. Look, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:04:09 I'm so weary of this becoming my whole brand on the show because it's already come up so many times. The axe. But it was the axe is what I was going to say. I was famously at this point hit in the head with an axe on January 2nd, 2021. Happy anniversary. I, January 1st, 2021, deep pandemic, no vaxxers to be seen. I'm thinking, new year, new me.
Starting point is 00:04:34 This is going to be my year. Boom. And so all I could say is that I hope 2023 is off to a better start than 2021 was. But you never know, you know? Well. You think I'm going to get hit with another ax. I can see it in your eyes. The thing is, it's so funny how you're saying, like, I got hit.
Starting point is 00:04:55 But you were the one who did it to yourself, no? Okay, and I am wary to make this my whole brand yet again, but here's the problem with it, right? Yeah. You say, you know, I got hit in the head with an axe. Yeah. People do think that you got, like, you know, attacked. But if you say, I hit myself in the face with an axe, people think that it was like a really, like, kind of roundabout suicide attempt.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Oh, God! They're like, yeah they're like yeah oh my god did you hear about him he hit himself in the face with an axe yeah just snap there's no oh god there's no good way to share so what i always end up going is i hit myself in the face with an axe by accident by accident which doesn't and then people are like oh accident and then we're in it's a whole thing and then we're in a negative feedback loop um i guess thank you for asking i guess for me where i feel like i'm at in the beginning you know it's like it's so great that you asked me that thank you so much don't care it was so sweet of you i guess where i'm at is that it's just like i think if every new year people are making resolutions, people are like, how can I better myself? And I think you could benefit.
Starting point is 00:06:07 And it's so cool to watch that because I'm just like, oh, there's nothing else I need to do. No. Oh, wow. It's so amazing to see everyone bettering themselves because it's just like, I made it. I'm there. You're watching people rise to your level. I'm watching people rise to my level, rise to the occasion. Because I'm sitting on top
Starting point is 00:06:26 of mount olympus i'm just looking down and thinking like oh you'll get there you'll get here hey good for you bud hey keep climbing maybe one day keep climbing oh hey come on and then i'll kind of push some rubble down the hill and make people fall back a little bit and then i'll be like you gotta overcome the challenges you gotta overcome the challenges okay i was with you until that in that metaphor yeah what's the real life version of you pushing how are you actively kind of throwing a spanner in the works of other people's uh new year's resolutions i am using people's credit card information to buy subscriptions to things that they'll never use and so in them having to cancel go through the whole to-do of like canceling the subscription unsubscribing from the emails that's
Starting point is 00:07:22 taking time away from them achieving their actual goals so that's in many ways the rocks coming down tumbling towards them okay so yeah it does but i guess what i'm asking is so nothing you do is sort of specific to the someone could be like i want to start learning piano again i played as a kid and i think or like you know i really should do yoga more i feel like i'm stuck your answer to both of those is credit card fraud. You're going to steal people's credit card information. Yes. You get it. Good to know. But Alfred, we're not here to talk about credit card fraud.
Starting point is 00:07:52 We're not here to talk about axes to the face. Although we might be every week. It might somehow come back to axes to the face every week. It's been a lot, yeah. But so the episode last year in which we announced Jeff's departure was Funeral Homes. And Jeff and I realized how fitting that theme was to the announcement. And so when I asked Alf, I'm like, oh, my God, we're recording our first episode together with you as a co-host. Like, what do you want to do?
Starting point is 00:08:18 We could do anything. And Alf, walk me through the thought process to your to this first topic. OK, absolutely. Walk me through the thought process to this first topic together. Okay, absolutely. Because the topic is prenatal yoga. Yeah, and I think it's a very clear walk. Hmm. Funeral.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Funeral. Okay. Funeral. We started at funeral home. We started there. Funeral. We started at funeral home. Funeral.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Stop saying funeral. Funeral. Death. Are you going backwards? What's the opposite of death? Jeff is dead. No, I want you to go back. I want you to start from funeral and take a long walk to get to where we are.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Okay. Funeral. Yeah. Funeral. Yes. Stop saying it. Jeff is dead. We buried him. Oh my god. Okay. Yeah. stop saying it jeff is dead we buried him okay yeah when one door closes uh-huh another one opens what's the opposite of a funeral home uh maternity ward yes but we're not reviewing we're not gonna review that's weird oh that's. What do people do when they're pregnant? They do yoga to make sure the baby comes out.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Is flexible. Flexible. Right. rebirth the show and pivot and get hit with the punches of a steep drop in listenership, advertisers fleeing for the hills. What do we need to be, Riley? We need to be flexible. We need to be flexible. So what can we do right now?
Starting point is 00:09:59 That was beautiful. We can do some prenatal yoga. We can do some prenatal to repair can do some prenatal to repair to repair to prepare for this well rebirth yeah oh god that was really stunning um thank you for that so alf i mean i guess the question on i would say mine and everybody's mind is like tell me about your experience with prenatal yoga so uh i was a certified prenatal yoga instructor for 15 years could you imagine 15 years 15 years no i have what i would say is a real uh blind spot when it comes to all things yoga and
Starting point is 00:10:46 prenatal. I'm a baby. I'm the youngest in my family. I'm the youngest in my whole family. I'm the baby. I'm the youngest person I know. I have like 30 cousins. Not an exaggeration. And I'm the youngest one.
Starting point is 00:11:01 So I don't really know babies. And I don't know yoga either so i'm excited to see to learn i guess today that's what i'm really here for is to learn sorry i just want to say you're like babies and yoga do you think that the baby is doing yoga well inside obviously it's obviously obviously so the the mom is doing yoga and the baby as well is just kind of floating around. Well, because as a baby, here's what I'm going to say. A lot of focus in the birthing process gets put on the mom. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:11:37 And sure, the mom is doing work. But you know who else is doing work? Certainly not the baby. The baby. Oh, you think you think being born isn't hard for babies i was plucked out i was an emergency c-section honey i was they chopped her open and cut me out i was plucked prenatal yoga is i guess it's like it all makes sense to me listen i'm not'm not pregnant. I am 26 years old.
Starting point is 00:12:05 I don't know anyone who is pregnant. That's not true. That's not true. Why did I say that? That's literally not true. You were telling me about being invited to a baby shower like two days ago. Yeah, I don't know why I said that. I meant, I guess like-
Starting point is 00:12:20 I've never met a pregnant person. I don't know anything about pregnancy. I'm 26. Very normal age to have children like i guess it's more just like i there's no one in my day-to-day who is pregnant like i know pregnant people but not like no one who i'm talking to on a regular basis so me daniel and elizabeth aren't pregnant that's what that means yeah yeah um i think it's just like i can't imagine i guess it's just like, I can't imagine. I guess it's good to stay active while pregnant.
Starting point is 00:12:50 I know nothing about being pregnant, so I'm just talking out of my ass. But it's just like, I think I'd just be scared. I guess I just don't know the range of movement that's good. It's like, what's the threshold of, like, again, no one listens. One, no one listens to this podcast. Don't ever listen to it. But two, no one listened to what I talk about in terms of staying active while pregnant i don't know jack shit a surgeon general being like here's what i think i think it might be dangerous is what you were saying you were like i'm not saying you shouldn't do it all i'm saying is i would be nervous is what you just said no
Starting point is 00:13:21 you shouldn't do it i have anxiety anxiety. I'm nervous about everything. Yeah. I think in my head, like moving shit around in there, I'm like, oh, I don't know, but I trust it. So you're imagining prenatal yoga is that they're like, okay, now time for spider pose and they like grab the belly bump and they move it around. Like, what do you mean it's moving around in there i mean like if you're doing down if you're doing downward dog okay the baby's like you're pregnant it's like
Starting point is 00:13:52 it's like yeah like yeah it goes down might come out the mouth it's what you're worried about it might throw up a baby if you're not careful that's exactly right you get it i'm worried that if you do downward dog with a baby, that you throw up the baby. It comes out the mouth is what I'm worried about. Thank you for hitting the nail on the head. And that's what my main fear is, is I don't want to give birth orally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:15 And for that, we can thank the American education system for producing two people who don't know how babies come from where. Alf, since it is your first episode as co-host do you want to kick us off with our first review i do i'm i do want to do that it's like it's like how to choose you know what i mean so this one is from uh kula yoga in williamsburg in Brooklyn, New York who is it from and how many stars it's from Anastasia Z Anastasia wow Anastasia Zazzle
Starting point is 00:14:53 beautiful name how many stars three stars interesting and we're going to see that journey uh huh I love prenatal yoga classes at Kula Williamsburg. However, during the weekend when the cafe is open,
Starting point is 00:15:14 the studio has a strong smell of food. It's hard to breathe well during the class. I have to imagine it's supposed to be breathe. I have a feeling that I'm taking a yoga class in the kitchen. Also, there are sounds from the kitchen when they make smoothies. It's hard to relax when it's so loud. Okay, all my mommies-to welcome to yoga with me i'm stacy and as you can probably tell we are in my parents home today because the studio was rented out by a local high school who needed
Starting point is 00:16:00 space to rehearse peter and thecatcher, their upcoming school play. So we are here. Thank you guys for rolling with the punches, rolling with those big old beautiful blooming bellies of yours. Just want to let you know as we're getting started that my parents are hosting kind of a Rotary Club meeting this week, but I don't want anyone to focus on that because you're with me. We're in the living room and it's all going to be, it's going to be a beautiful day. Does anyone have any questions before we get started? Hey, yeah. Yes. Hello, Tina. Hey, yeah. Tina here. Um, yes. This is, Oh, look at you. How far along are you, honey? I'm, I'm i'm 60 60 weeks you don't know no i can't be right i know
Starting point is 00:16:51 i'm sorry i'm 40 weeks so i'm about to i'm about to give birth pretty much or maybe i'm a little over i'm a little pregnant sorry like i've been i've been looking at her for a couple of weeks and I feel like the bump looks different size every week. No, come on, Melanie. Like we don't need to question Melanie's pregnancy in this class. That's crazy. No, but like, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be that person.
Starting point is 00:17:20 But like I'm 35 weeks along. I have been very clear about my journey, about how many weeks I'm at whenever you ask. And it's very clear, you know, 30'm 35 weeks along. I have been very clear about my journey, about how many weeks I'm at, whenever you ask. And it's very clear, you know, 30, 31, 32. And I feel like Tina, whenever she's asked, cannot give a succinct answer. Okay, okay. Well, actually, you should listen to what Stacey says every week, which is every pregnancy looks different and every body looks different and every journey looks different.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Every journey looks different and every body looks different and every journey looks different. Every journey looks different. Maybe my baby bump is shrinking and growing drastically week to week. And maybe, yeah, I can't remember exactly how long I've been pregnant. But that doesn't make me any less of, well, a mother to be. And I'm just excited to be here with all of you to do some yoga. Oh, so sorry. I'm late. So sorry. sorry no welcome jessica thank you so much for coming hey oh tina you're still in this class sorry everyone i'm sorry to interrupt i'm uh i'm jessica i i'm pregnant with my third kid and um god i remember being in this prenatal class with tina five years ago when i
Starting point is 00:18:27 had when i had my first oh my god what number are you on tina um yes it's same same baby as then i think yes it is yes yeah hi jessica i think what we're all wondering now it's like if it's the same baby i would like to just go I would just like to say that I don't think this person's pregnant is that crazy to say the whole class is like oh my god no she's not pregnant what no no hold on we're making crazy accusations sure has Tina been in this class with that bump of varying sizes and of varying weeks for five years? Yes, she has. Are we going to question her about it? No, because like we say every week, every pregnancy is different. Every body is different. Every journey is different. thank you and so i don't want to have any hey tina i know you're upset but let's not upset the babies in the room okay like they feel and hear everything that they're saying you're right you're right you're right um so before my mom comes out with some snacks for us she's so sweet even in her 80s
Starting point is 00:19:38 she's doing the most i would like all of us just to start in a nice, easy, downward-facing dog. Everyone does it. As you get up, the belly moves up to, like, your chest. I'm, like, pushing it that much. I'm, like, trying to do downward dog with one hand as I hold the bump in the right. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sitting back up. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Is no one else seeing this? Oh, my God. Give it a rest. Tina's belly went up to her throat. Everyone's like, oh, my God, it did. That's horrible. The baby's going to come out of her mouth. She needs to be careful.
Starting point is 00:20:15 The glorious, now extinct white rhinoceros has a gestation period of 20 months okay the wonderful american field mouse has a gestation period of if i had to guess several weeks every animal is different every animal is just to say that i like the glorious now gone and can we take a moment of silence for the rhinos I think we're all forgetting about the rhinos today maybe I'm like that and it's gonna take five six years for this little bugger to
Starting point is 00:20:56 pop out and I think you guys are being really judgmental maybe you're like that maybe your gestation period is that of an extinct rhinoceros can i ask you something no can i seriously ask you something because you're being you're being really really rude why do you care why do you care whether like yeah sure let's say for the sake of argument rips the belly off that it's a fake
Starting point is 00:21:26 baby bump and no i'm not pregnant let's say for the sake of argument that that's the case and let's say for the sake of argument that i was never pregnant and this whole time it was just a way of getting cheaper yoga classes. Let's say that for the sake of argument. Okay. How does that impact you? How does that impact you? It's clear that Tina is not and has never been pregnant.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I didn't want to bring this up, but I heard you on the phone with your partner saying, God, I hope I'm never a mother. I can't imagine going through this kind of bodily craziness and pain. Yeah, because I see you and I see the way you act. And I'm like, I never want to be that rude. I never want to be that disrespectful. That's what I think. Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I think it's time we settle down. You're so right. But is no one, no one cares that she literally just ripped off her fake belly. She is not pregnant, has no interest in being pregnant, which is fine. You don't have to be pregnant, but it feels, it's just, it's fucking crazy. Stacey, Stacey, can I take a moment? Stacey, I can't deal with her.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Can I take a moment? Yeah, absolutely. You can take a moment. I'm going to go get an hors d'oeuvre. My childhood bedroom is upstairs and you can take the, you can take the whole tray if you want. I know a growing baby's got to eat. She's not pregnant. Why does nobody care?
Starting point is 00:22:48 Hey, listen. She literally, she was saying for the sake of argument. It was a hypothetical. Thank you. She said that let's say that this is a fake belly. Let's say that I'm not pregnant. So I don't know why you're getting so upset. She's with child.
Starting point is 00:23:03 And like I said, everybody is different. Every pregnancy is different. Every journey is different. And so I am going to go upstairs and I'm going to take some of these mini quiches with me. And what I'm not going to take is these deviled eggs. Cause I don't want to end up carrying the antichrist like you. Everyone snapping.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Just fistfuls of quiches we you start going up the stairs your water breaks oh shit oh no i the class is resumed everyone's doing yoga i i knock hey guys yeah remember when i said earlier about I knock. Hey, guys? Yeah? Remember when I said earlier about for the sake of argument? Uh-huh. That really was just for the sake of argument. I think my water just broke.
Starting point is 00:23:59 No fucking way. She must have just put a water bottle in her leggings and just squirted it down. You're such an asshole. Cut to the hospital. You're just giving birth. Little baby in your arms. The doctor's like, wow. You know, Tina, you fought a hard fight and you did it, mama.
Starting point is 00:24:25 You have your baby. And look, my wife goes to this amazing prenatal yoga class. They also do mommy and me classes. And they have a phrase there that they say, you know, every body is different. Every pregnancy is different. Every journey is different. And I will say you are the first patient I've ever had who has the gestation period of the glorious extinct white rhino. I'm rocking the baby.
Starting point is 00:24:51 It's three foot tall. Speaking in full sentences. It's five years old. Mommy, mommy. I'm so glad to finally be here. Can I run around? No, baby. No. Hey, hey, hey hey hey be quiet shush
Starting point is 00:25:08 doc i just want to say thank you because there are a lot it starts playing on an ipad here here candy crush do mommy's candy crush okay don't don't waste a heart doc there are a lot of judgmental, really just beasts in this world. And I want to thank you for being kind and accepting. Oh my god, no, I mean, listen. I love all of my patients. I love all of the little ones they bring into the world. I, like, tussle the kid's full head of hair. Oh, Doc!
Starting point is 00:25:44 What? Doc, I think there's another one. I think it might be twins. Oh my God. I'm pushing for 10 seconds. It comes out. 12 years old. DS in hand.
Starting point is 00:26:00 How did you get that? Shut up. I'm playing Nintendogs. Cool. Do you mind watching your brother for a second? What, mommy? Yeah, go. Yeah, go.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Your brother's going to help you. You guys just go in the hallway, okay? I need to talk to Dr. Rouleau. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. Doc, I'm scared. I am too. Oh my god I think my favorite sleeper
Starting point is 00:26:31 pick of that episode is the wonderful field mouse Mine is that we started out clearly gonna go down the rabbit hole of the rotary club and then I panicked and couldn't think of how long I started out clearly going to go down the rabbit hole of the Rotary Club. Of course. And then I panicked and couldn't think of how long people are pregnant for.
Starting point is 00:26:52 And I guess this is why it's perfect that we're doing a prenatal yoga episode because we know so much. Let's take a super itty bitty tiny weenie inny inny inny bit break. Inny bit break. Inny bit break. Inny bit break. And we'll be right back. We're back. Come and play with us. Oh, God. No, I don't like that anymore. You did a creepy voice. You did play with us. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:27:26 No, I don't like that anymore. You did a creepy voice. You did a creepy voice. No, but it was cool. It was sexy when I did it. Nobody thought that. People love that shit. Oh, they're...
Starting point is 00:27:35 We're back. People love that shit. Can I ask you a question? You're trying to tell me that's not the hottest thing you've ever heard in your life? You're trying to tell me that everyone listening to that right now is not just like needing it.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Needing it? It's needing like K-N-E-A-D. That's like one of your gross like that's what you call jerking off. The audience is needing it to that one. Can I ask you a sincere question? Absolutely. What's wrong with you? I guess it's just like
Starting point is 00:28:11 I haven't needed it. Oh. This is a review. This is for Bellies, Babies, and Bosoms in Chicago, Illinois. Oh, hometown.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Four stars from Bora S. Okay. Bora St. Germain. Bora St. Germain. Four stars. I found this store because I was looking for a Mommy and Me class in the neighborhood. I'm so glad I decided to sign up for the class through BBB. The owner of BBB is super nice, enthusiastic, and accommodating. I made friends with the class who I think might be lifelong friends. I might have just gotten
Starting point is 00:28:52 lucky with my class or BBB might attract good people. Also, they hold the sessions at the Chevy Chase Country Club, which is a great venue for the group. I had to reread that sentence like four times when i found it the chevy chase country club uh mr chase uh sorry i know you're very busy uh i know you have a very busy day especially as you're building your latest uh business venture um i actually wanted to talk to you a little bit more about that as your assistant. I feel like it's kind of my job. So I have a whole list. No problem, sir. No problem.
Starting point is 00:29:33 I just have a list of I guess like clubs and certain businesses that might want to rent out your country club as a rental space. And are you okay? You're making a very strange face.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Jesus Christ, Jessica. You think I got all day? You think I got all day for this shit? Okay, you're just gonna have to fucking rapid fire. You shoot me a person and I'll tell you yes or no on whether or not you can use the rec room at the club. Okay, we've got the local charter of Y ymca what do they want it for they want it for some after-school programs maybe i hate children sorry i hate children you don't you're not gonna allow the local ymca like boys and girls clubs
Starting point is 00:30:18 things like that to use the rec room god no i hate children um okay uh you hate so that will cross off all of those okay um how about the local retirement home they need a place they have they have a really sweet like fashion show for the elderly that they want to put on that raises funds for the retirement community as well as a lot of local designers in town fashion Fashion show? Yes. Is it couture? What do you define as couture? I mean, it's not Gucci. It's not Louis Vuitton.
Starting point is 00:30:56 It's local artisans. Is it underground? Is it Club Kid? I wouldn't say it's Club Kid. I guess it's underground in the sense that a lot of people don't know these local designers and local artisans. Are you okay? Jessica, let me go ahead and tell you something. Studio 54. Picture this.
Starting point is 00:31:18 It's Studio 54. It's me. It's Andy Warhol. Okay. Some of the fashion that I saw there would literally melt your brain. You would literally fucking die, be dead on the ground, if you saw some of the stuff that these people were wearing. So I want you to ask me again if I want to see some hinky-dink reductive 2013-looking fashion from some elderly folks in my country club?
Starting point is 00:31:53 I feel like this is a trap. Ask. Do you want to host the Retirement Communities Fashion Show slash charity fundraiser at your country club? Of course I do. That doesn't make sense with what you just said.
Starting point is 00:32:13 I support fashion. I think it is one of the only remaining valuable industries. But you, this is not, I'm not trying to get into anything right now, but you this is not i'm not i'm not trying to get into anything right now but you did just say that um if it's if it's reductive rinky dink clothes from elderly people from 2013 that you don't want to see it everybody starts somewhere i sure great perfect
Starting point is 00:32:41 i don't want to um push this any further so it's like you don't want to push this any further. So yes, awesome. Seems like you don't want to. If you don't, Jess, Jess. No, I want them to be here. You're my assistant. I hired you for a reason. If you don't want these elderly people pursuing their newfound passion of fashion, I accept that and I value your opinion. I want them to be here. I think it's a great cause and I would want them to be here.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I guess I, you know what? It's my bad. I was confused. So let's move on to the next group. Bellies, Babies, and Bosoms want to host their prenatal yoga class in the
Starting point is 00:33:14 gym here. Babies. I know you said you hate kids, so I guess I will. No, well, wait. Wait a minute. Let me think about it okay babies bellies and bosoms don't smile when you say bosoms it makes me very uncomfortable jess i'm gonna be honest with you i know you are i like two of the three. I quit. What?
Starting point is 00:33:46 I'm gonna quit. I quit. You know, that's fair. I've been pretty bad. Yeah. And you know what? You've treated me well. Right.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Until today. It's less, I mean, that comment did make me uncomfortable, but it's more that I can see the road that you're gonna head down, and I wanna jump ship now before it gets too crazy. That's fair. You know what I'll say, Jess? You just de-aged, like, 20 years. I don't know what happened with your voice.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I cleared my throat. Oh, my God. That's what that was. Yeah. Okay. And it's back. No. Clear it again. Here's what i'm gonna say jess um
Starting point is 00:34:29 you've been working for me for a long time and i feel like i have not given you oh it's coming back i haven't given you nearly enough responsibility uh and i'm gonna let you make the call on this one i'm'm going to take a step back. I think it's time you start making the decisions around here. Again, I feel like I'm being walked into a trap where I'm going to say yes or no to something, and then you're going to get mad at me for that. I think we should absolutely host prenatal yoga here. I also think we should host the boys and girls club and ymca here um i don't know why you said no to that you guess you don't
Starting point is 00:35:10 like kids but you don't have to be around them i think with all of the funds and i mean this place is on like 500 acres it is crazy how much land you have for this country club and so i feel like to not use that your face is contorted your face it looks like you're having an aneurysm you're giving me a headache well i don't know what the prop i don't know how to be with you now don't put your head back in your hands at least give me the respect and have a conversation with me you're a nice girl but i do not want to be with you okay i'm flattered but no thank you this is why i'm quitting because you keep saying stuff like that and that's not what i mean you but I do not want to be with you, okay? I'm flattered, but no thank you. This is why I'm quitting?
Starting point is 00:35:49 Because you keep saying stuff like that, and that's not what I mean. You started this. I did not. You ever see a little program called Community? You ask me this once a week, Mr. Chase. And every week, I'm hoping you finally watched it jessica i don't know what to tell you uh yeah i don't know i have a lot of other shows on my roster you know like white lotus was finished up last month and i was really into that you know a lot of critics say you could never have had white lotus without community that's actually something I've heard. Who says that?
Starting point is 00:36:25 Vulture. They wrote an article about it, I saw. You read Vulture? Yeah, religiously. Okay. The Cuts. These are all the publications that I really... I wish you nothing but the best, Mr. Chase.
Starting point is 00:36:41 I really do. You've paid me handsomely, but you have treated me with absolutely no respect. Again, I'm flattered. I'm handsome, sure. But I just, I feel really uncomfortable with an employee coming on. I am leaving my papers here. I'm leaving all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Good luck running your country club. And I wish you all the best. I start going through the papers. I never knew she had so many papers. Wait a minute. Putting it together. My God. There is no Boys and Girls Club.
Starting point is 00:37:15 There's no babies, bosoms, and breasticles. There's just... There's just money going out of all my accounts. Oh my God, the Country club, we're gonna fold. Jessica's been in Bethlehem for years. God damn. I gotta respect it.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Pop's on an episode of Community. Hey, Albert. Hey, Troy. Here's the Spanish book I borrowed. Thank you. Did you finally get your own book? Something like that. Wait a second.
Starting point is 00:37:44 You get him, Troy. God, I love that kid. It's okay. What a miserable latch. What a disgusting man. You know, I was faced with a problem there, which is that that I realized much like prenatal yoga I don't know that much about Chevy J's
Starting point is 00:38:09 genuinely here are the three things I know about Chevy J's yeah community yes National Lampoon yeah he did so many pratfalls on SNL playing Gerald Ford that he hurt his back permanently and that's how he got addicted to opioids.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Let's do our next review, huh? And I didn't feel like really I could find a way in for either of those. I think that was smart. Do you want to read your next one? Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to. You're obsessed.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Come on. You're obsessed. on you're obsessed come on with prenatal yoga you are two stars from where this is from um brooklyn flow by bend and bloom okay i'm gonna give them a full name and their alias is Bend and Bloom. Oh wait, or is Bend and Bloom like the- So Brooklyn Flow by Bend and Bloom is the name of the studio. I see. This person's name is Lionel. Or Lionel, or Lionel, like messy, I guess.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Lionel Bitchy. Lionel Bitchy? Lionel Bitchy. Nice one, man. I really made myself laugh. Two stars. Pretty pricey for mediocre yoga and not very good customer service.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Basically laughed at me when I asked if there was a birthday discount. Last year there was. And they didn't even wish me happy birthday. And then the frowny face where it's a colon
Starting point is 00:39:56 and a dash and then it has a nose. Oh no. Oh no. They didn't even wish me happy birthday I'm really sorry to hear that Lionel I know that last session You mentioned the passing of your father
Starting point is 00:40:12 And so I figured that you would want to I guess more so explore that This week Yes yeah I would like to talk about that um you know me and him were close but in recent years no i'm sorry i can't i can't is it okay like i can't really get into like i feel like there's kind of a roadblock you know am i making I making sense? Was it a strange relationship with your mother? And so you feel like without patching up things with your mother
Starting point is 00:40:49 that you haven't talked to in 15 years, that you can't really begin to mourn the loss of your father? Yes, but I feel like... Okay, I'm happy to get into that first. No, no, no, hang on, hang on. But I feel like I can't... How to put this? Patch up my relationship with my mother until i have
Starting point is 00:41:08 gotten happy birthday from yoga studio okay um like it's a roadblock does that make sense so it's like happy birthday it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense i understand what you're saying it does not make sense okay but that's not judgment that's just me um saying what i see pretty judgmental but uh no no judgment from me i'm a professional um you're a professional i guess yeah i'm a doctor um i guess what i would say to you is if this is really that important to you, that you get a happy birthday from them. And if I'm not mistaken, your birthday was three months ago. Then I guess you should go to that studio and let them know. three months ago, nine months from now, I don't see when it was having to do with any of it.
Starting point is 00:42:13 You don't see when it was having to do with any of it? Last year, there was a birthday. I don't feel like you get it. Last year, there was a birthday discount. Okay. 15% off yes okay i went the next year on my birthday for my annual yoga session i do yoga once a year on my birthday yes as my little special treat to myself. Okay. And they... You can sit down. You can sit down,
Starting point is 00:42:48 Lionel. I hear you. I hear you. Okay. You don't have to keep getting up and coming close to me. You're right. You're right. I just feel like since I didn't get my yoga session this year, I have all this pent-up
Starting point is 00:43:03 energy, and it has no way of getting out because I didn't do the yoga. Go to the studio. Tell them what you're feeling and stop making that noise, please. I'm sorry, I'm out of breath. I know, that's why you need to do more yoga.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Go to the studio. Okay. Tell them what happened. I think once you maybe at least get an apology or an explanation from them, then maybe we can start to move on to talking about your dad. Okay. Gets up, starts to leave. I guess we're done for today. I will see you next week. And I promise that we can talk about my dearly departed father
Starting point is 00:43:43 after I get my happy birthday from Yoga Studio. Cut to Yoga Studio. Hi, welcome to Yoga Studio. Do you, how can I help you? Yeah. Yeah, um, I was just wondering, is it like, I know it's, you know, I'm getting flustered. I know it's Black Friday. And so maybe you're operating with kind of diminished staff, you know, or whatever. But I was wondering. We are actually, yeah, it's been a little crazy. How are you doing? let's start there oh that's really nice um honestly i'm not great i'm kind of hanging on via thread because people have been coming and asking for discount
Starting point is 00:44:30 after discount after discount and it's just kind of driving me insane and i feel like if one person does that i i don't know i don't know i just it's been really tough day but thank you that really means a lot i really appreciate you asking how how can i help do you have anyone working today who's allowed to say sorry um come again yeah no like i know you've had a busy day like i used to work retail so dude i dude, I get working Black Friday. And, like, I can't imagine how annoying that is. I'm just wondering, like, you know, with the, you know, kind of skeleton crew that you're running with, is anybody on staff, like, allowed to say sorry?
Starting point is 00:45:20 Allowed to say sorry? I guess I'm not quite sure what you mean. I mean, I'm allowed to say the phrase, guess i'm not quite sure what you mean i mean i'm allowed to say the phrase i'm sorry right yeah like are you allowed to issue like a formal apology like are you what i'm sorry i didn't i don't know if i caught your name how rude oh it's okay thank you i'm i'm uh becca well becca it is lovely to meet you. I'm just wondering if you, as the receptionist, have the authority to issue a formal apology. I mean, I definitely do have that authority i guess it uh can i ask what the apology would be issued for sure let's do a little role play there's a full line forming behind you sign up for class let's do a little what i like to call theater of the mind.
Starting point is 00:46:25 No. You know what? Actually, I'm so sorry. I am sorry. See, there's an apology. I am sorry I don't have time for theater of the mind right now. I do need to sign up for our one o'clock class. All of our regulars are coming in for our level four. I hear you.
Starting point is 00:46:42 I see you. Great. Thank you so much. Hi, Ben. Here you go. You can just you so much. And I hear you. Hi, Ben. Here you go. You could just sign in here. Tara is in the studio already. Thanks, Becca. Yeah, absolutely. Catch you after.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Lily, there you go. Another regular. Just go here. And yeah, water bottles are over there. Thank you. You're killing it, Becca. Oh, that means a lot. Sorry. That just kind of really got to me. You go, girl. That actually really- You go, it, Becca. Oh, that means a lot. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:47:05 That just kind of really got to me. You go, girl. You go, girl. Shit. You're killing it. Damn, you look good. Thanks, Lily. Go to class.
Starting point is 00:47:17 You look so good, it's scary. Okay, work. I'm scared by how good you look. I don't want to scare anybody. Sir i'm really gonna need you i'm so sorry our lobby is already really small as it is and so um if you want to sign up for a class you totally can but again don't have time for theater of the mind today um yeah that's totally cool i'll uh i'll wait i can see you're really busy i'll wait I can see you're really busy I'll wait You can wait outside
Starting point is 00:47:51 Or maybe come back another day Yeah I'm off today I don't work on Fridays This is a crazy busy day for us So actually today is not the best day To do theater of the mind Yeah I'll just wait What are you doing after work? What do I need to do to of the mind. I'll just wait.
Starting point is 00:48:07 What are you doing after work? What do I need to do to get you to leave the studio? What are you doing after work? Answer my question first. I'm going to need you to play a little theater of the mind. Okay, fine. All right. Jimmy, can you sign everybody else in? It'll just take a sec.
Starting point is 00:48:25 All right. I'm can you sign everybody else in? It'll just take a sec. It'll just take a sec. All right. I'm giving you two minutes. Picture in your mind. God. It's your birthday. When's your birthday? I'm not telling you that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:38 For the sake of this play de monde, a little French for you, your birthday is April 15th, tax day. play the monde. A little French for you. Your birthday is April 15th, tax day. You've been stressed.
Starting point is 00:48:51 You left your taxes till the last minute. I am stressed. This is very stressful to me. You're a
Starting point is 00:48:54 freelancer and you forgot to do your 1099s and it's all piling up. I'm going to need you to get to the
Starting point is 00:49:00 point. You said I had two minutes. Oh my God. Get away from me, man. Just back up like a step okay
Starting point is 00:49:08 it's your birthday the spring is flowering the birds are chirping and you are like i did my taxes i cleaned all those dirty dishes in the house and i'm gonna treat myself to a little birthday treat now can we please you have like 30 seconds left if that and you go down to your favorite I don't know spin class and you ask for the birthday discount like they give you every year. And the person behind the desk says, birthday discount. You must be a fucking idiot. How does that make you feel, Becca?
Starting point is 00:50:01 Um, it makes me feel mad. I can't tell if it's from the scenario or from what's happening right now, because I'm very angry that this is a waste of time. But I guess that's bleeding into the theater of the mind. Exactly. And as we enter the third act here of our little play, would you want an apology, yes or no?
Starting point is 00:50:21 Sure. If someone spoke to me like that, yes, I'd like an apology. Okay, that happened to me. That apology okay that happened to me that's exactly what happened to me hey beck wait i know you this is the becca get this joker out of here this is the fucking guy who last year was accosting a receptionist calling them a fucking idiot for not giving him the birthday discount which we offered one time oh god oh i've heard about get out shoo get out of here just no apology you are banned from yoga studio Thank you. What? I'm banned.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Yeah, so get the fuck out, dude. Yeah, I can never come back. Everyone is, like, pushing you out of the door. You're so calm and happy. What a relief. You're, like, crowd surfing. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:51:25 I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. Door locks behind you. Cuts of therapy next week. We're back. How'd it go at Yugo Studio? Strangely, it went really well. They banned me.. They banned me.
Starting point is 00:51:47 They really banned me. This is going to be another thing we need to work through because you're so happy about it. So I'd like to do a little theater of the mind, if you don't mind. Okay. Of course you had my interest. Now you have my curiosity. Imagine it's your birthday.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Okay. On April 15th. Okay, not hard to imagine that is my birthday. It's your birthday. It's tax day. Oh. You are a therapist. Show the most 99s.
Starting point is 00:52:24 And you're going to your office, and your client is the most difficult client in the world. Forgets your birthday every year. You've been with them for seven years. And they don't listen to a piece of advice that you give and instead make everyone's lives around them a living hell. How do you feel? Guilty. Yeah, get out of my office. i should give the client money no
Starting point is 00:52:48 hey wait you're saying i need to get out of your office get out now can i come back no you're banned i'm banned get out i know you're gonna be happy so just thank you you're a weird guy thank you you're pushing me out the door you're a weird guy thank you fuck oh my god. Let's take a break. These are kind of fun, huh? We'll be back with more prenatal yoga reviews.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Don't step on your coffee like that, huh? we're back good morning what are you bright with us oh god see mine was sexy and again yours was scary oh okay you find a rough gruff sensual British man Oh, God. See, mine was sexy. And again, yours was scary. Oh, okay. You find a rough, gruff, sensual British man scary.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Interesting. Yep. Here we go. This is, I think, for the same studio. Nope. This is for prenatal fit. Again, in Chicago, Illinois. Hey!
Starting point is 00:54:24 Go best. I'm only going to read the first half of this review because the majority of it is just talking about how this person had a really great time it's five stars from lily r lily r okay that is uh lily rodrigo that is olivia olivia's nickname is lily Yeah, it's short. Let's have Lily so far. Lily Rodrigo, five stars. Last winter, I was pregnant with my second child. I was taking care of a toddler, feeling blue because of the weather, and just feeling down.
Starting point is 00:54:57 My husband suggested I find, quote unquote, something to do. And then she talks about how she found this studio and loved it. Hey, babe. Hey, sweetie. How was work? Oh, you know, Kilborn's riding my ass. But other than that. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:55:17 You need to take him out to dinner again because you know how much he appreciated that last year. Well, I mean, I think it'd help if you tagged along because you and Mrs. Gilborn got on like a house on fire. Oh, yeah, we did. We did. You know, I just, I think you go for it. I'm not really feeling up to going out this year. Yeah? This whole year? Yeah, this whole year. I think I'm just going to sit this one out. It's January 17th. You I'm just going to sit this one out. It's January 17th. You're really just going to say this whole rest of this year?
Starting point is 00:55:48 You don't really want to go outside? David, I don't want to get into it, my love. I don't want to get into it. I just, I feel right now that I'm kind of, I'm done for the year. I think I'm just going to tap out. Yes. Well, my dear Lilibet, the last thing that I want to do is push you. Thank you. I love you so is push you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:56:06 I love you so much for that. Thank you so much. Because you need to rest. Because you're going to be doing some pushing of your own very soon. I know. I know. I cannot believe that we're having our first child. That's why I need to take the year off.
Starting point is 00:56:23 No, absolutely. Absolutely. I guess. I guess what I'm wondering. That's why I need to take the year off. No, absolutely. Absolutely. I guess. I guess what I'm wondering. Yeah. What's up, my little honey bun? Just go for a little walk with me here.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Okay. Go for a little walk like we used to do. Well, I'll go on a mental walk. I'm not going outside right now. Like we used to before. You are six weeks pregnant yes i feel like okay once you give birth sure the isolation that comes from being a new mother i worry that this is perhaps one of you and I's, frankly, sort of final periods of time where we can really go out and live life before we're kind of preoccupied with, you know, Roger Roger.
Starting point is 00:57:18 I hear you. I absolutely hear what you're saying, but, you know, like a mother knows, and even though Roger Roger has just entered our lives, Roger Roger's telling me, like, Mommy, you gotta stay home all year long. And so I gotta listen to Roger Roger on that one, honey, but you know what? I want you to go out. I want you to have the best time.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Yes. And Roger Roger and I are just gonna stay here, because he said, Mommy needs to be on the couch and watch what happens live. I know. So that's what I'm going to do. And I love you. I'm grabbing a weighted blanket.
Starting point is 00:57:52 And I'm going to get right on the couch. I'm going to turn on Roger's favorite show, Watch What Happens Live. And I'll see you later. Yes. And thank you. You know, you are a beautiful mother to be and what am i thank you i love you i'm a papa bear you know i'm just here my my instinct here is scared me a little bit well i'm a papa bear oh god my instinct is to protect and build a home for us and a life.
Starting point is 00:58:28 And my paternal instinct. Oh, what's that? Oh, I hear Roger. Roger, I think. He's whispering, coming out your Audi, your belly button. You're an Audi. He's saying, it's acting like a little megaphone and he's going hey hey papa bear hey papa bear um i think i think andy's past it
Starting point is 00:58:57 i don't want to watch watch what happens anymore i think he's past it i wish mommy would watch something else maybe the sunset outside or a live show or you know the world passing her by as she sits at a coffee shop or some other such outdoor activity huh roger that's roger roger that's really interesting i hadn't thought of it that way. Do you hear that? It's so funny you say that because it's like, listen, I love you. And I know you play this little games with me like you're pretending to hear Roger, Roger. But actually, Roger, Roger's in my belly. And so only I can hear him.
Starting point is 00:59:35 And oh, oh, what's that? Oh, hold on. I'm getting a message from our little bouncing baby boy. Roger, Roger. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's using my mouth as a megaphone. This is his voice about to
Starting point is 00:59:46 come out of my mouth are you ready oh hi my papa bear and he's in his prime and bravo tv has never been better than than it is in this year and so i think ma needs to sit down and binge the last four seasons of watch what happens live and when she's done with that then then she's gonna watch all of the real housewives series and maybe below deck mediterranean and papa bear you need to get out of the house maybe rent an airbnb for a couple months and see what it's like not being inside with mom. Because sometimes she can't stand your grating voice. And neither can I. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:00:29 It's like he overtook me. I'm so sorry you had to hear that, honey. But I am going to get on the couch. And I am going to need you to hand over the remote right now. Because that's what Mr. Roger Roger wants. Yeah, okay. Sure. I give you the remote
Starting point is 01:00:45 grab my wallet kisses yeah grab my keys wait wait wait I'm being taken over by another person he has something else
Starting point is 01:01:00 he's using my megaphone again I'm papa papa bear He has something else! He's using my mouth as a megaphone again! I'm Papa, Papa Bear. Never come back. Mom and I will be just fine. Whoa. Oh my god. That was crazy.
Starting point is 01:01:24 I bet he didn't mean it. Lilibeth. I bet he didn't mean it. Lilibeth, I... Wait a minute. Hang on. Do you hear that? No, because he's not talking. I only feel him because he's only in me. It's different.
Starting point is 01:01:39 It feels different. It's a buzzing in my skull, my whole head. You're not carrying him, so that's not how it works. Oh, it's a message from the future. Oh, oh, it's Roger, Roger when he's 35 and he's in therapy because his weird mom wouldn't let him leave the house. Oh, Roger, Roger. Oh, it's like he's channeling through me. What's he going to say?
Starting point is 01:02:01 No, that's not what happens because he's in me right now. Hey, Mom. It's me, Roger? Nope, that's not what happens, because he's in me right now. Hey, Mom. It's me, Roger Roger, your son. I'm 35, and I wish you hadn't kicked Dad out of the house, because well, he was right. Andy was past it.
Starting point is 01:02:15 And the only good season of Housewives in the last decade was the three seasons of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. And if you really dig down, you know that to be true. And Andy's just circling the drain, Mom. And frankly, I think Dad is made uncomfortable by how many comments you make about the bartender's bodies on Watch What Happens Live. You're always talking about how fit they are.
Starting point is 01:02:39 And, oh, didn't you used to look like that, babe? Didn't you used to look like that? Anyway, I guess Dad's... This isn't happening. He's in me. He's not talking through you right now. Didn't you used to look like that? Anyway, I guess dad's- This isn't happening. He's in me. He's not talking through you right now. But it's his future ghost, okay? No.
Starting point is 01:02:52 No, finish. What else is he saying? What else is he saying? Little bit. No, channel him again. Channel him again. No, little bit. Oh, he's back.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Oh, he's back. Oh, whoa, whoa. I think the root of your problems is that you never let Dad buy that mechanical bull he was talking about. He really wanted that bull, and you said it was a dumb idea, and that there was no room in the three-bed apartment you had for it. And I think he always resented you for never listening to his ideas. Huh. He makes a good point, I think.
Starting point is 01:03:24 But you're right let me go let this thing points to his ass walk out the door and never clap for you again you know this isn't what i want, right? This isn't about me. I'm just doing what Roger Roger wants. I just want you to know that. Yeah. I do know that. And I hope you know
Starting point is 01:04:00 that what I do next is also what Roger Roger wants. What are you going to do? Reaches into the drawer. Pulls out his phone. Keeps it in a drawer for some reason. Dials a really long number. What are you doing?
Starting point is 01:04:23 No phone number's that long. Doug? Yeah. No, don don't worry this can't be traced what are you doing i i need a cleaning special if you know what i mean yeah cleaning special yeah a hit doug i need you to kill somebody thank you what no god david you wouldn't are they a public figure that's an interesting question they definitely used to be no but no no i think that they've in recent years you know declined from b-list to c-list if you know what i mean yeah it's andy cohen you're right doug it's andy cohen yeah cut to like a month from then, all the trades. The headline is like Andy Cohen smashed by mechanical bull in freak accident.
Starting point is 01:05:10 I walk into the kitchen holding a copy of. I'm just like harrowed eyes, just like fully trained. Oh, did you see the news? Little bet. Did you see the news? Roger, Roger wants to say something to you. Sure. Shoot. Sure. Shoot. Papa?
Starting point is 01:05:28 Hello, my sweet angel. This will live on your heart till the day you die. That's all he had to say. Huh. I'm gonna turn on some Fallon. And if you want to sit down and watch with me, then you can.
Starting point is 01:05:54 But Jimmy Fallon is really what Roger Rogers is getting into next. Lilibeth? What? I have waited six long years to hear those words. Just you, me, Roger, Roger, and Jimmy. A family. We sit down on the couch, turn on an episode of Jimmy Fallon from 2014. Oh, he's got one more thing to say.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Yeah, Roger? Roger? This is the family I've always wanted. Mommy, me, and Jimmy. Huh. That was it. What do you mean, that was it? He you mean that was it he didn't have anything else to say hey Lilibeth
Starting point is 01:06:50 yes do you think we're gonna be good parents no me either lockout me either blackout standing ovations tears streaming down their faces oh so important one important commentary jimmy fallon's in the audience he looks terrified andy cohen is throwing up in the bathroom
Starting point is 01:07:30 oh shit should we go to our last segment well let's let's do it so confident just plummeted this shook me all week long oh preemie t what has been shaking your ass um so many things um it's genuinely hard to choose uh and i what i want to say welcome this is exactly right if you're feeling this right now that's what we've been feeling for three years so that is 100 correct um what shook me i'm gonna do two things i'm gonna say two i'm gonna cheat i'm gonna say crazy for that you're crazy i'm a crazy ass you know me i'm a crazy ass um number one what shook me yeah is that and i don't know if you know this, but I am co-hosting a podcast now. And I'm just really excited. And everyone's been super nice about it on the internet.
Starting point is 01:08:36 With a few notable exceptions. But for the most part, people have been very nice about it. And I'm just really excited. And this was so much fun. And I can't believe that we get to do this every week. I know. And yeah, and I just can't wait to go down this road with you.
Starting point is 01:08:55 And my other, what shook me is the mobile phone game, Marvel Snap. Y'all heard about this? Y'all heard about Marvel Snap? I'm playing so much Marvel Snap. Marvel Snap, it ain't even funny, okay? I downloaded this game.
Starting point is 01:09:11 I'm gonna- Jesus. This is a genuine confession. The thing I'm about to say is genuinely embarrassing. Okay, okay. I was in the airport, Newark Airport. Embarrassing, mortifying. Like a month ago.
Starting point is 01:09:24 And I heard about this game marvel snap on a podcast and i was like i'll give this a try flight was delayed i play marvel snap like two hours straight i get on the flight I pay for Wi-Fi. No. Yes. Alfred, no. I pay for go-go in-flight Wi-Fi on this United Airlines flight from Newark in order to play Marvel Snap. It was like $15. Alfred Barwell Evans.
Starting point is 01:09:56 But I was having so much fun. I couldn't put it down. Listen, I'm happy that you found something that brought you joy, but I need you to never tell that to anyone else ever again. Do you think it's embarrassing that I paid for GoGo and Flight Wi-Fi to play Marvel Snap? I do. I do. Whoa, don't make that sad face.
Starting point is 01:10:18 But I keep leveling up. I keep my collection levels over 700 now. Oh my god. I keep leveling up. I keep my collection levels over 700 now. Oh my God. And I have to daily fight the urge to pay real money for purchases on this ultimately game for, well, children. And I'm loving every minute of it. It's a, as a free mobile, I don't know why I'm obsessed with calling cell phones mobiles because you are 78 years old
Starting point is 01:10:50 you can reach for my mobile love um but yeah I uh I really love it and I hope that everyone who's out there listening who's like if you've ever played a card game from poker to euchre to everything in between uh love me some euchre
Starting point is 01:11:07 you should download marvel snap and give it a give it a whirl uh because i think you're gonna really like it now riley what's been shaking you this week i guess i'll do two as well because obviously the biggest one struck me is that i'm getting to do a podcast with my little elf reenie teeny um for those of you who don't know alf and i have been best friends for years and years um and so to to be able to do this with you is such a treat we were gonna do we were we were making a pilot for a different podcast um like i was gonna do review review and something with alf and so then we heard that jeff was leaving We're like, Oh, great. And so it's like,
Starting point is 01:11:47 I guess what's wild is like, what's really shaking me is just the timing. You know, this is coming out January 3rd. Um, but we're recording December 7th. So the news came out yesterday. You're really giving them a peek behind the curtain. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:00 And so it's just, cause it's like, it's, it's wild. So it's like Jeff and I still haven't recorded by the time of recording, we still have not recorded our two best of episodes. So it's really wild to still be in the throes of like, ending that chapter with Jeff, and be really excited about this. And so I'm very what's shaking me is like to be able to do this with you. I'm so grateful for everyone who's been so supportive and excited. And
Starting point is 01:12:21 of course, it's sad. I mean, building this show with jeff over the past you know i'm sure that once we do our best ofs i'll already have gotten all sappy so i'm so grateful for that i'm so grateful for what we've built and i'm so grateful and excited for this new chapter of doing it with you and for everyone to keep listening and um coming along this ride with us we i'm i'm so grateful for every one of you so thank you and i guess the other thing that's been shaking my ass um celebrity crush celebrity crush of the week um last month it was very much christian borle and when i say last month this is january riley talking about december riley was christian borle um that's wild no it's not I've been in love with him for years. Um, right. I guess that's what's weird about it is the last month, because what has he done in the
Starting point is 01:13:10 last month? It was just like, I saw a video of him and I'm like, oh yeah. And it resurfaced, but I've been binging on HBO max, the big brunch with Dan Levy. And it's very much giving me vibes of like early bake-off seasons. Like it feels very like warm and everyone just getting along and helping each other. And I love a reality show and I love a cooking show. So it's perfect. If Dan Levy were to want to give me a kiss, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:44 I would welcome it. You'd love it. I'd Levy. You'd love it. I'd levy. I'd love it. It's like, I can't see it really going anywhere, but it's like, I very much have been thinking, like, I love his style and I love, like. I don't see it going anywhere. very much like if we were in a like if we were at a bar or a party like we would just start like kind of like like playfully flirting and maybe having a little smooch here's what's concerning to me about this yeah is that you have played out this whole scenario in your mind no i'm just thinking about it right now sure but it's like as i've been watching and i'm like oh okay and so now i'm just like yeah i mean luckily for you it, I'm like, oh, okay. And so now I'm just like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:29 I mean, luckily for you, it wouldn't be cheating because he's also named Daniel. And that's what defines, if you cheat on someone with the same name as your partner, then it's not cheating. And I do, and I do just want to, you know, and I know this is an audio medium, but just like really surface that this is Christian Borle. No, Alfred, I know, I know. You got some funky taste, man. Welcome, welcome to the show. So happy to have you. But yeah, so this is a,
Starting point is 01:15:02 I'm so prenatal yoga with Alfred. I'm so happy. This is just crazy to be doing this and I'm so excited. Jeff, if you're a... I'm so... Prenatal yoga with Alfred. I'm so happy. This is just crazy to be doing this, and I'm so excited. Jeff, if you're listening, I love you. And Jeff's not dead. Shocker. He's not.
Starting point is 01:15:15 I mean, we got three weeks, okay? This podcast ain't coming up for a second. You gotta be careful with that. You're right, you're right. Hey, Daniel, if Jeff dies, cut that out. I mean, we got three weeks, okay? Hey hey daniel if jeff dies cut that out i mean we got three weeks okay hey daniel if jeff dies cut that out if jeff dies cut that out oh my god um god alf if they want to find you on the internet where can they do that alfred in it on instagram um and you know what i'll say and again i kind of talked about this on the episodes that i guessed it on
Starting point is 01:15:51 um a lot of people been just liking the axe post and not hitting me with the follow and i just want to ask you where you get off like what's your damage like why won't you follow me um a lot of you have and i want to say i really appreciate that um so yeah it's at alfred i n i t on instagram and uh you know i'm not on twitter anymore but i'm wondering if i should get back into it this really seems like the time so i think you should yeah and riley you can find riley um yeah in the graveyard every friday night doing a little seance i'm on instagram at riley answell on twitter at riley coyote you can find the show on instagram at review review on uh twitter review show reddit r slash review review and and the discord uh if you want to join discord um i'm
Starting point is 01:16:46 actually not sure how to do that so we'll figure that out there's a review review channel on discord we should be plugging that okay uh yes find us on discord if you i i don't know how to go through the app right now but i know if you go if you look up head gum review review discord there is a post on the Reddit with a link to it. If you want to join us on there and chat in there. We don't want to make it too wheezy. You know what I mean? It has to retain some kind of VIP kind of mystique about it.
Starting point is 01:17:14 Yeah. And we'll catch you next week on Review Review. Thank you so much for listening. And as we say every week on Review Review, go to the graveyard. To the graveyard. Well, they were workshopping catchphrases. I didn't go to the graveyard. You might be workshopping.
Starting point is 01:17:33 I'm set. You can have your own. That was a Hiddem Original.

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