Review Revue - Reading Lights

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

This week, Geoff and Reilly read reviews on READING LIGHTS and dabble with PAing, go to prison, and neglect their child.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go review it online I'm feeling shy in a robe But did you like your thing let me know my house clean my mood light i'm gonna read some reviews tonight i could be dancing romancing but i'm adding up some frankens i can average what happens don't you blame me, no James Every word that I say is coming straight from the heart So on a scale of one to five stars How would you rate this podcast? How would you rate this podcast?

How would you rate this podcast, girl? How would you rate this podcast? Podcast This podcast. Oh, they feel the way I feel. I feel like I'm doing what I'm doing tonight, baby. Listen to review, review. What you do,

what you say, all you got planned on the day. See, I'm a five out of five, but I never stop dating my wife. Look, sorry, I'm taken. Come on, I need it. There's so many reviews we could be reading. Talking eggnog, chapstick, naturally odor and taste buds and sunscreen. Don't you blame me, no, James.

Every word that I say is coming straight from the heart. So on a scale of one to five stars. How would you rate this podcast? How would you rate this podcast? How would you rate this podcast? How would you rate this podcast, girl? How would you rate this podcast? Oh, they feel the way I feel And they're doing what I'm doing tonight, baby

Listen to Review Review La la la, la la la la Hey, hey, how would you rate this podcast? How would you rate this podcast? How would you rate this podcast? Do you feel the way I feel yeah you're doing what I'm doing tonight listen to review review that was

that was Bruno that was Bruno that was Bruno and That was Bruno. That was Bruno and Anderson. They laid down the track for us. That came in from Jay. And how do you feel about that? I mean, it's no Gilkjonic.

That was Gilkjonic. That was absolutely Gilkjonic. I tried to sing a song last night that i could sing in high school really well and and i just couldn't do it anymore i think there's something about not singing in choirs and acapella groups every day well the voice is a muscle and so you got to continue to work out that muscle okay and do you mean m-u-s-c-l-e-e or m-u-s-s-e-l-l because the second one would be much more welcome to me i think you know what i meant um that was because my voice is fried also just to hear the background vocals how how would you read wait how would you rate this podcast? Podcast. That was incredible. Elizabeth just got tickets to go see Silksonic.

That's exciting. In Vegas in November. That's really exciting. And I am so, or maybe August, whatever. I'm so jealous of her. That was really beautiful. Thank you so much, Jay. We're still banking ups.

We're still banking ups. We in the span, like we did two yesterday, day recording. Today is May 19th. We did two last week, two yesterday, and we're still thinking ups we in the spin like we we did two yesterday day recording today is we did two last week two yesterday and we're doing two today i think this might be the most we've recorded yeah um back to back to back to back to back um so when this comes out when will this come out the 14th yeah i'll be long gone you'll be in europe i'll be i'll be i'll be long gone you'll be in europe i'll be long i'll be i'll be ditching this popsicle stand that's for damn sure you're gonna be traveling is what you're saying catch me around these parts for i'll get back in by the time this comes out i'll be back in seven days i'll be back in a week okay so not gone i'm gone for now gone girl right i'm gone girl what Right. I'm gone girl. What's that? I'm gone girl. Are you gone girled or you're just gone comma girl?

I'm gone. I'm gone girl. I would be very careful with that language because somebody might file a police report. It's just my fear. I'm gone girl. I'm gone girl. The second one is better. Make sure you say it the second way.

I'm gone girl. There you go. I'm gone girl there you go i'm gone girl i will be no you're not you're not you're not gone girl i'll be in europe i will be in europe what city are you going to be in when people are listening to this on tuesday june 14th you know what let me do the math on that day i don't cut this out so it'll look like i know immediately what my plans are hold on i think he shouldn't cut it out i think let's let's hear every positive here i'll be in paris that's that's cool i'm very very excited sorry re re re re yeah we we is re re what you call paris that's what everybody calls it it's what the locals call it come on

that's like if you're cultured and well traveled that's what people call it oh so i summered in riri yeah yeah yeah well no one really summers in riri you probably are summering in the south of france actually i mean you're looking at nice, you're looking at You're not going to Riri for the summer because if you're in Riri for the summer it's like it's touristy like it's going to be packed so it's like anyone who knows Riri knows that it's like the peak time. If you're in Riri for the summer

I honestly feel bad for you. I really do. You're a travel novice if you're like oh I'm going to summer in Riri. It's just pathetic. Honestly. you're a travel novice if you're like oh i'm gonna summer in riri it's just pathetic honestly it's shameful you should be ashamed of yourself i don't like using this kind of language because you know that's not me yeah but if you summer in paris you're honestly honestly you can say it you're fucking dork ass

oh my god I won't tell anyone that you said that I know it's just between us it's just between us Jeff what's new with you in the we both had really bad nights we both had really bad nights we shouldn't get into it at all no we should not

imagine doing improv after probably the worst day of my year so far yes yeah yeah and and on my end it's like imagine doing improv after a nigh on uh like 12 hours of just crying so hard that your head feels like it's gonna explode explode. Yeah. I told Jeff that it's like, that I'm like, man, like waking up the thought of doing back to back improv shows this morning. I'm like, wow, that's the last thing in the fucking world

that I want to do. But there's something about doing back to back that makes it not as bad somehow. I don't know if I'm lying to myself. But what I did, what I did realize, I'm like, you know what? It's like when you're in a really shit mood it's like doing improv is like working out it's like at first i was like oh i don't want to do it and then doing it actually

makes you feel great and makes everything feel a lot better so i'm very grateful to be here i'm grateful for you i'm grateful for the show and hey you listening i'm grateful for you giving you a big hug giving you a big hug just just snuggle snuggle in there yeah um fucking book lights reading lights let's yeah we're talking about reading lights reading lights i so one of the best this is not a reading light but it has been helpful because so reading like so actually in thinking about um cob salads um what so i uh daniel and i got dimmers for our bedside lamps. And we did that actually because Avi Kay,

a friend and wonderful DP and director, editor. But he, when we were making Chauncey, our short film, and we filmed in our home, Avi, and a lot of it was in our room, Avi brought dimmers to dress the set and to light it. And we're like, oh, we never, how did we never have these before? And because Daniel and I read before bed, having a dimmer has been our version of a reading light.

And that it's like, if one of us is going to bed before the other, we can just turn it down a little bit. We can still read. And so that's been really nice. But I, to have a reading light, I had one when I was little, I had like a hot pink one that clipped onto books

and it made me feel like a bookworm. It made me feel like a little scholar. Talk about reading lights. This is like what we're reading. I haven't used one since I was like eight. It was such a thing in like the thousands i feel like it really was i feel like a lot of kids had them it was like a sky mall pickup i feel like sky mall or book fair um no yeah it's only what i said it's and if i said the same words as what you just said, I would agree with them.

Jeff, do you read? I read, yeah. Obviously. Mostly memoirs. Mostly rock and roll memoirs, which is why I'm uncultured. But can talk about hyper-specific periods of rock history. That's a beautiful thing. Not really.

Would you get a reading light of the classics now um honestly maybe uh if you asked me yesterday i would say no but i was like looking at reviews and i was like could be kind of cool you know i don't need to have all the lights on um well you don't need to have all the lights um i was also thinking about it for a plane but then i'm like uh you know It might be good for a plane because you do have the overhead lights, but those can be really bright. And I feel really bad if someone's sleeping next to me. And then if I turn the overhead light on, that's going to be bright. I mean, even though it's pointing on my seat, it's going to be bright for the person next

to me no matter what in my mind. And so a little clip on reading light could be huge. It could be huge for reread, honestly. It could be huge for reread travel.. It could be huge for Riri Travel. I think you should get it before your trip. I think that would not be a bad idea. And honestly, the one that I found reviews for, it's like the bestseller one on Amazon. It has like 32,000 Reading Lights, Jesus, reviews.

So we'll see. But should we get into rereading lights? Let's do it. This is a five-star review from Las Vegas Happy Shopper. Do you want to give them a first and last name? Oh, my God. Donny Osmond. Donny Osmond Donny Osmond this is a five star review of back to eye

caring nine LED clip on book light for reading in bed five stars my hubby just loves this light when he's reading dot dot dot yeah Dot, dot, dot. Yeah.

Right. Right. So, Karen, I am so glad you signed up for this stand-up workshop. I think it's really awesome that you are trying a new hobby. And I think it's really, really um that you come put yourself out there i know a lot of us you know a lot of that there are so many first timers in the group there's so many people in this group who just want to get back up on the stage or get up there to crack and jokes and so um let's workshop that one a little bit uh how do you feel workshop it i'm sorry but i you know when the model t came out they didn't do any future iterations

yes you yes and you are so right about that uh this isn't an improv class but we like to have fun um no i think i think i see where you're going i think i see everyone like looking around like i think we all see where you're going with a joke people are looking like uh i don't know um but how about you guys didn't hear it yeah why don't you read it again one more time and then let's take it from there okay you guys know reading lights yeah my husband loved that loves those when he's reading it's funny yeah okay so can you walk us through a little bit um because you know in jokes it's like especially when you're starting out you want to have a clear setup punchline yeah set up yes

you guys know reading lights yes you know crowd work everybody's like yeah we know great setup great setup joke my hubby loves those when he's reading yes and so i think that's where because you have such a fun you guys know reading lights well my husband loves those you know it's like uh maybe maybe you could play on that it's like he actually doesn't read very much and he doesn't have any use for it you know that's not true he reads all the time oh there's reading light oh my god if he was here he would be so red-faced oh why he would be red-faced because this i'm just helping you this could be maybe more material no no i'm trying to i'm trying to aid you um in kind of expanding because it's like you know if

you have one joke if we're if we're trying to build a five minute set right if that's your opening joke where are you going forward from that it's like um he loves it when he's reading so then we could go on to just how much he reads okay what about this um my husband reads so much when he likes the book oh wow you know what i've always loved that setup that setup is so great you know uh you know i think that's a really fun what did you just do it's just the the rhythm of it it's like you know my it's not about the rhythm though it's about the content you know what i mean like we're all like we speak truth to power and my husband is powerful sorry my husband's the head of scripted programming at amazon um i think you guys everyone starts like

sitting up in their chair you've actually met with him i think right you said that you were you worked on us you were pitching to streamers yes you pitched to amazon is your your husband's roger mark yeah roger mark campbell roger mark campbell that's right i'm sorry i do a lot of research i know he goes by mark campbell but his first name is roger um you know what i oh my god oh my god you know what why don't you run through your set again i think we just weren't getting it all right right guys everyone's like yeah no you that was so do it again do it again i think so too i think so too yeah why don't you take it from the top my hubby loves reading lights while he's reading yeah now you guys are getting it i don't know yeah oh my god my husband reads a the book. Yeah. He loves to read. He loves to read. Oh my God. You are, you are so funny.

You know, you're so funny in class. I would just love to get, you know what? My wife and I would love to, you know, my wife, I think would think you're so funny, but three is such a weird number. Why don't you bring your husband along and us four can have a fun dinner? And you know what? I bet he loves to laugh. I bet he loves to laugh. And we all love to laugh. He does.

He loves to laugh. When the joke is good. Well, I bet you keep him laughing all day, right? Cut to the dinner. Can I just say, can I call you Roger? Mark's been saying and basically mouthing the entire dinner. Your wife is such a joy to have in my stand-up class. I mean, it's just like, let me, you know, some people have like, they have a good funny bone.

She's got a whole funny skeleton. I'll tell you that much. I think she's on his phone as you're saying this under the table. And yeah, she's great. Yes, she's so funny. And and, you know, I think she and I have such similar senses of humor. You know, I remember I don't know if you did I pitch something to you? I don't remember. I have a lot of pitches every week. Oh, of course, of course. I wrote a spec and I think that

your wife and I have such similar sense of humor and so it's like, oh my gosh, if you Sorry, do you mind if we not talk about work? I just like, I'm dealing with

I'm trying to put out a fire right now and the last thing I need is to continue talking about work. What do you guys do you guys travel? What do you we have a timeshare actually in sonoma no way oh yeah we love we we we travel when we can you know um oh yeah my husband loves sonoma because of the wine oh isn't she so funny honey uh yeah because of the uh i don't know maybe that one just went over my head no it's no i thought that was hilarious and if you're not getting it i thought it was don't

you teach a stand-up class that she's in like i do she's not being funny it's on you no i'm saying i think it's hilarious my wife she doesn't she doesn't like the mock whisper she doesn't get what we do don't talk about your wife like that. Yeah. I'm definitely not going to work with you if that's how you talk about women. No, that's not, that's not how I talk. I'm just saying it's like, you know, she's a vet. And so it's like, she's more like, I'm a science girl.

And I'm kind of more like the jokey guy. And your wife's a jokey girl. And we all have fun. You know, I wrote a spec for for have you heard of the tv show community i know it's not in the air anymore but i feel like that's really my sense of humor and so i wrote a spec community script yeah nobody writes specs anymore we don't accept those as submissions you see the same sense of humor as the old ball and chain your wife's funnier than you i have to take this

gets up takes the call i'm so sorry about me what no why i just feel like i haven't i just haven't been on my game uh yeah i don't know honey i think we should go what jesus nathan we we're having a nice dinner you've just you weird. Mark comes back. Also, you're an asshole for ordering the lobster Thermador. $81. I have to take this. He walks away. Nathan, you need to be honest with Karen about why you're here. Because, Karen, I know I've only known you for a couple minutes. You seem very lovely. I have seen a lot of um students that my husband teaches and i i just you gotta

tell her no i can't i can't um karen i think you are such a special person i think you are such a light and you are so funny. A reading light? That was good actually. That's really funny. That's really funny. That's comedy. That was comedy. I think we could work on the rest of your set. I want to help you be the best comedian you can be

and fulfill your potential but I think you're going to take a lot of work. I think I am. I already am. I don't think that's true. Sorry. I have to go i've been i we i got a straight to series deal with amazon so i gotta write the next seven episodes you know a couple months i have always admired your writing skills i have always admired thank you um maybe we could throw some ideas around together for the show. Oh, I don't think so. I wouldn't want to burden you, first of all. Second of all, then I'd

have to split the fee with you. WGA-wise. Also, yeah, you really shouldn't have ordered the lobster Thermador. I panicked. I panicked. It's something I've always wanted to try. And I figured if not now, when? Food comes.

Waiter puts the lobster Thermidor in front of you. You take a bite. I don't like it very much. It's not worth it. Kidding me! Sorry. It's my foster cat. Jeff has a foster kitty!

That's comedy. Now that's comedy now that's fucking comedy oh um should we take a quick break let's take a tiny one i only want tiny breaks i can't deal with a big one i only want tiny dicks I can't handle a big one. Sorry, I guess. Okay. And we're back. Jeff's foster cat is sitting on his lap and her tail is like curled around his shoulder and it's very sweet i don't know what got in her into her the last five minutes she'd missed the old ball and chain you're married there's no way um okay on your nose okay this is for this review for the energizer clip-on book

light for reading in bed led reading light for books and Kindles. 25 hour runtime. Kindle and book reading lamp batteries included. Black. Oh, my God. One star from Page D. Page Duck. Page Duck.

All caps. The title is Brightness of the Sun. One star. Perfect for replacing the sun if it were to ever burn out purchased for my husband and myself to go on our new kindles we laughed for about five minutes about how comically bright it was my husband went to read while i was planning to sleep and when he turned on his new light it lit up the entire room bright enough that it was hard for him to read because it was hurting his eyes unnecessarily bright brighter than the sun great so um you guys can just start setting the stage lights up over there

and um where'd you guys park the, the grip and electric truck? Oh, we, uh, it is, I assumed you were going to be bringing a ton of stuff. You know what?

You'd think so. Uh, I know this is like what, like a 1200 seater. Um, no, it, we just,

we have it, a little suitcase in the back. Um, I've just put it in my trunk, I guess I have a, I have a Kia soul a kiosol okay uh i'm gonna flag this with my manager because okay yeah just honestly it's your show this is a rent out i don't care um cut to two hours later um you guys are good to set up by the way it's been two hours

and nothing looks different um Is there any issues? You can always, you know. Oh, we're done. We've just kind of been waiting for the okay to flip the switch. We're good. We're good to go. We're fully loaded in. Herbie, fully loaded in.

Okay. Again, we don't have any of our own lights. We're a new theater. Yeah. I don't see any. We brought our own. No, remember in the contract, we were like, you know, that was something that we actually got money off for because we're of our own lights we're a new theater yeah i don't see we brought our own and no remember in the contract we were like you know that that was something that we actually got money off for because we're bringing our own lights all right um you can turn on the switch

whenever you want i guess great um i would just here you go here's like a pair of glasses just in case we we've gotten some complaints i think i be fine. Just hit the switch. You might not want to stand center stage facing out into the house. I've done this a long time. I think I'll be fine. Switch. He dies. Cut to the courthouse. Your Honor, I would like to remind you that we did offer,

or that my client did offer a pair of glasses to the deceased yeah but your clients also already admitted to killing someone with light did yeah i i know i know my client can bring up exhibit a uh article 14 again just um yeah 30 reading lights with that combined to be the power of the sun light wise and he was um a man is gone because of you your honor may i know you know we talked you are not going to talk during the trial you're gonna let me talk to your child no i feel like i have to clear my name that's my job but you hired me to help clear your name i am doing that for you no you don't get it though what. No, you don't get it, though.

What do you mean I don't get it? Fine. Fine. You know what? You've been the most insane case I've had in the last 20 years. So if you want to go up, go for it. Whatever. Thank you.

Listen, Your Honor, this was all just a big misunderstanding. It doesn't seem like it was i'm sorry to like i'm supposed to be impartial but it's hard i what are you upset about you upset that someone's dead we all are that's not yeah we're all upset okay he seemed like a really nice guy i never got his name but it's like he seemed really he's you never got his name this entire yeah every documentary in this trial i didn't look oh my god you are not helping yourself no it's because it's like unfortunately your honor this is not the first time this has happened okay and i'll admit it stop admitting this stop admitting these things but i admit you didn't let me finish no one lets me finish no one's ever let

me finish okay your sentence what never mind it was all the misunderstanding because even though it's not the first time this has happened no one ever believes me they always think i'm some kind of joke i pull up in my kia soul with my tiny little carry-on suitcase filled with 30 reading lights, and they think oh That does sound like a joke Jason doesn't know what he's doing Jason doesn't know how to light a theater Jason doesn't understand this business and then uh-oh everyone who's who's who's underestimating Jason ends up under six feet underground when my lights burn through their redness to the back of their brain So you're a serial killer

No, you're not letting me finish dude you're being a child stop it what i'm saying is i i want to make my shows the best they can be i want to be the best lighting designer this side of the mississippi have you ever lit a show where someone hasn't passed away no dude i cannot stress enough you are going to go to prison for a long time the jury the jury leader stands up your honor we've already made a decision we don't need to go back into the yeah um obviously guilty and you guys don't get it you guys are no we get it it's been a two-week case we get it uh you're you've killed multiple people but i didn't mean to it's still involuntary manslaughter oh also man stop you stop arguing with the jury you're not supposed to say anything once the jury

has given their verdict you're already yeah so your honor what do you think yeah guilty obviously but um no no no no no no wait just can i i have a reading light in my pocket can i just show you guys what i mean no no no no no the entire jury and judge killed and that's it and they didn't let me finish they didn't let me finish you killed didn't let me finish. You killed them. You killed them. So yeah, there's no letting you finish. I could have said, what I was going to say is, do you want to see what it is? Yes or no? If you say yes, you will probably, your life will be done. But no, your life will be saved. That's what, that's what no one ever lets me finish.

That's what no one ever lets me finish. Cut to him in prison. Hey, man. Hey. Sorry, man. Hey. Sorry, I had a reading light. What of it? Give it here. This is my cell block.

No, you do not want to be messing with this thing. Let me tell you that. What are you in here for? Give me your reading light. Do you want me to turn it on? If you answer yes, then your life will be ended in this very minute. And if you answer no, you'll be spared. Yeah, right.

Turn it on. Max security cell. Hey, man. I'm your new guard. Oh, hey. How's it going? Yeah. I just got to say, I've been watching you for a while.

How do they still let you keep your reading light on you? I honestly don't know. It's like some people get cigarettes in jail. Some people somehow fashion a shiv. All you need is a reading light. It's because they underestimate me. Got it. Got it.

Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. cause they underestimate me got it got it got it got it got it got it got it for sure got it got it got it um another review so shocked um oh I guess we'll read another review

okay okay no only if you only if like that's something you're interested in. No, that sounds great. That sounds honestly great. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. No, I mean, it's like I don't want you to feel pressured to... I feel cornered, but I'm going to feel that way no matter

what because I can find a way to be upset about anything. Okay. Okay. And that's not on you. That's like my own shit. Alright, this is for the same light I don't know. Okay. Oh, okay. And that's not on you. That's like my own shit. All right. This is for the same light that I just did a review for. It's five stars. Panter.

You can give Panter a last name. They don't have a last name. Panter, the title is, if you love reading, then you need this. Why didn't I buy this sooner? I love, love, love this reading light. It clips on and is adjustable, which makes it so much easier to use. No more keeping the nightlight on

or sitting at the dinner table with the lights on. I can just read in bed while my partner sleeps peacefully undisturbed. This is the image of like middle of the night, them like hunched over a dinner table reading. I don't know why that was so bleak to me. Carter, what are you still doing up? The light's been on for hours.

I'm just enthralled with this novel, really. I hear you, and I'm so glad you're getting into reading again at 48 years old, but can you please come back to bed you have to you have to drive sam to her baseball tryout and early in the morning it's about a guy who's stranded in the wilderness with an axe a hatchet really okay listen i think it's great you're reading but it is three in the morning honey please come back to bed it's a page turner okay well fine then you stay up all night reading but i'm not gonna be that sounds great okay well i'm not gonna be the let me finish no one ever lets me finish i'm not gonna be the one to drag you up in the morning to bring sam to baseball practice she's been looking forward

to this for months okay and she really is counting on you to drive her. She's been looking forward to this for months, okay? And she really is counting on you to drive her there. She's been looking forward to this specific baseball practice for months? Tri-outs, I mean. Sorry. She's been looking forward for tri-outs for months. She's been practicing in the backyard every day. Being a parent's the worst. I agree, but can you-

All I want to do is read. Shh. She'll hear. Did you just shush me? She's going to hear that you said that you don't like being a parent. She'll hear. Did you just shush me? She's gonna hear that you said that you don't like being a parent. You said that. You also said it. You said me too.

Oh, come on. Just listen. It's Mommy, Daddy, I can't sleep. Oh, Sam, honey, I'm so sorry. Were we waking you up? Yeah, I heard voices. Oh, my God. Daddy, Daddy. Ugh. What? Stop it. you up yeah i heard voices oh my god daddy daddy oh what stop it i oh um did i do something wrong just go to sleep like why are you up at this hour wiping her nose on her hand i'm trying and i just

can't fall asleep i tried counting sheep and everything. I need you to come sing me to sleep. Honey, she wants you to sing her to sleep. I think that's very sweet. I don't want to sing. I want to read. Oh, can you? That's a great idea. How about you read Sam a bedtime story

to help put her back to sleep? Yeah, Daddy, I love when we read together. I don't like that when we do that. Daddy? Come on. Your dad doesn't mean that. Well, Mommy, won't you read me a bedtime story? Oh.

I have an early morning tomorrow. And so I think it really should be your father who's the one to take the reins on this. Don't you, honey? You're putting me in a tough spot here because Hatchet's on the table. Not only physically, but also spiritually. And I don't want to spend time with her. I can hear you. What?

What? I want to read. You don't want to spend time with either? I don't know why we're still whispering. We're all awake now. We're all awake, so let's just get right to it. You don't want to spend time with your wife or daughter? I knew this would happen.

I knew as would happen. I knew as soon as I had my own thing, finally, you would come at me from all sides using our daughter to get me to not have interests. I don't know what... Daddy, I just couldn't sleep and I wanted you to tuck me in. I'm not using... Sam, honey, please go back to bed. Well, I can't sleep. I know you can't sleep

but this is, it's turning into a thing that you don't need to be part of. I'm not using her covering her ears. I'm not using her. She wanted her dad to read her a bedtime story. I'm not saying you can't have other interests. I think it's great that you're reading but you have this thing where you get so hyper fixated on an activity that you lose sight of everything else in your life. You did this with your- My priorities shift from time to time, yes, but that's human. No, it's not a priority shift.

All of your love and energy- Honey, please go back to bed. Oh, I'm interested in this. You, at first it happened with your Xbox. And I'm like, okay, I get it. It's this new video game thing. Everyone has an addiction to video games. Now and again, that's fine.

You finally gave that up. And then you were focused on our lawn. You were obsessed with mowing the lawn. Doesn't it look great? Well, not anymore. Because since you gave that up. I don't want to do it anymore. I want to read.

Hatchet. I understand you want to read, but you have to find moderation. You can read before bed. You can, hell, you can find want to read but you have to find moderation you can read before bed you can find times to read like anyone else but you need to show up in our family's life I am finding a time it's 3am you should both be asleep

this is me finding time was I not present all day today you were in a way I thought you were present and then i realized that you had your nook in the nook of your arm just kind of like and every time i would cuddle into you you would look over your shoulder in a way that cranes your neck i knew you were reading the entire day i could have any woman oh and instead i read so excuse me if it's 3 a.m and i'm reading hatchet because at least we're

not burying it fine read all night read all night see what i care but you have to show up for your daughter in the morning you have to drive her to the tryouts i don't i'm not going to you promised i probably won't well what do you? You said you were so excited. Oh my God. I don't enjoy being your father. Oh my God, Sam. You are like really, like I love you, but you're also really trying my patience too. And that's saying a lot.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. Oh my God, Sam. Go to bed. And the worst part of this is we did IVF. And I know you don't know what that is, but we were so intentional having you, and now we both regret it. What?

He doesn't mean that, does he? No, he really does, and that's what's so shame. It doesn't matter, because you're also going to probably use this as fuel. Cut to 20 years later at a book reading. And to round off chapter seven, that was the night that I realized not only was I a mistake, I was a regret. And as hard as that night was,

it shaped me into the woman I am today. So thank you, mom you dad here i am and i'm glad the entire audience in unison oh my god are you kidding me with this you won't show it up yeah why are you here why are you here if you hate me? Why are you here? Last segment? Last segment. This shook me all week long. I don't know if I talked about this. Please stop me if I've talked about this on the show. I think I've talked about it on the Patreon Q&A and with you separately. But I might want to get a tattoo.

You should do it. You won't regret it. And if you do, it'll be funny. You're the tattoo artist. Well, no, hold on. Here we go. No. I, by the time this comes out, I'm 26.

And up until this point in my life, I've never wanted a tattoo. My favorite Henry Hall lyric is, I'm too indecisive to get a tattoo. And that's always been very much the vibe. Like, there hasn't been anything that I've thought about, even like something sentimental, like that I'd be like, oh, I want that on my body forever. Also because I have anxiety. And so making like a permanent decision about my body feels like very jarring to me. But I found this artist on Twitter who does line drawings, like minimalist line drawings of animals.

And so I sent them a photo of Red the dog with his bowl. Not even as thinking about a tattoo. And they haven't even they haven't even got back to me with the art yet. But as I was thinking about it, just the thought popped into my mind that I'm like, oh, I would 100% get a tattoo, a very minimalist, like cartoony kind of thing of Red with his bowl on my body, really tiny just like little like no shading no anything just like black line of red in his bowl and it was also shocking because it's like i'd never thought that before yeah um and i did a little poll on instagram and everything and and someone

i've gotten a lot of great advice about it also my therapist loves the idea so shout out um but uh someone reminded me they're like you know if you feel as excited as you do now in like a month or two then take next steps because 100 Jeff and I both have very we very addictive personalities so it's like we'll be really into one hyper specific thing and then we've talked about this before and so it's like yes and this is this would be a permanent decision on my body so I think that's great and then if i still dig the idea like to go to ink box or something and get like a uh custom temporary tattoo that would look like it um but yeah so i i i'm at least right now i'm into the idea very much so and so we'll see what happens but um jeff and then another friend of mine also gave me

similar advice that was like it's it's's healthy to make little permanent decisions like this. And also, like you said, it actually is not a big deal. And it kind of helps to feel like a different kind of ownership or a nice visual reminder of little things you can control and permanent decisions that you've made. And so we'll see. But to have Red with me everywhere for the rest of my life would be pretty fucking silly yeah also like tattoos are like an ancient it's not new yeah it didn't start with like bikers in the 50s 60s oh they've been around for forever and also i don't know it just it's playful it's fun yeah and then one of our one of my followers reminded me that it's like if i got the red one then you and i would both have dog family dog related tattoos and i think

that's very sweet us and like a million people in the world i know but you and i having them i think is very fun um but yeah so tattoo riley 2023 should we get that hashtag going? It's worldwide trending. Tattoo Riley 2023 has taken over the internet. You broke the internet. With the idea that I might get a tattoo. It could be huge. It's hard to do what shook me is when we're banking four episodes in a week i guess i'll just say that somebody bought my neighbor's house and they've been doing

gut renovations on it and so yesterday i walked outside and their entire back room was gone and like my entire backyard was way more open to the world like i used to have so much privacy and now i don't so i was a little upset about that but then this morning they were they've already started a frame on a new same footprint so they're just building new walls so i'll get my privacy back do you do you have a nice view though like i mean like with with the more space do you do not really open view because it's like i live in a hilly area but i don't live on a hill so the view is like in the opposite direction from where the house is of course but it's been so irritating and i was talking to my friend i was just like there's no

i can't do anything to be like like they bought the house which i didn't have a say in and then now they're gut renovating it probably i mean they're doing so much work it's probably going to be that until october of just noise every weekday at like 7 a.m and it just sucks like they got permits and stuff but you know they don't ask the neighbors at all which i get what like i get it i get you know yeah i don't i shouldn't have a say and legally but it's just a bummer that you don't because it's like, this is affecting all of the neighbors' everyday lives. Yeah, that sucks. When I moved into my apartment in Boston,

the unit above me did a whole renovation. And so I'm just like, fucking kidding me. So it sucks. That's worse. At least I don't have any shared walls but yeah but it's still loud and it's still like yeah that's a bummer but you have ellie for now you're fostered yeah luckily she's not spooked by the uh the noise is she still in your lap no um you can follow riley on instagram at riley and spa on twitter at riley coyote you don't have to say that oh okay now cut that out no no no i could use uh you can follow jeff on instagram

at jeffy james on twitter at jeff brd you can find the show on instagram at review review twitter review review show and reddit r slash review review should we we thank some VIPodcats? Why the fuck not? Big thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs Dogs and Cats 2. Aaron Carrico. H. Michael Skarn is dreading Echo's upcoming vitriolic username.

Ugh, here we go. Echo actually had a nice day today. Now if she only had a fucking apology to top it off. 142, by the way. And now Patreon needs no introduction,

so moving on. Bob Buell and I don't have a nickname this week Don't read too much into it, it's just, yeah, a whole lot of nada Chuck! Connor, er, Curvature Daddy Tuesday Night is dishing out fatherly advice, unsubscribe Dakota, call her Robert the way she downed me on my junior Kieber, that's the kind of humor you'll get

At hehehehehe. Dakota, you're a freak for this stunt. You know that? Didn't learn your lesson last time. It's so crazy. Three names a week? I'll take it, but what the fuck? Damien Kirk, just enjoyed.

A refreshing Dr. Pepper and cream soda. Maybe next week... Maybe next weekend I'll try tasting some sweet, sweet puss instead. Fancy octopus. Freya. Frito-prey love. some sweet, sweet puss instead. Fancy octopus. Freya. Frito-Pray-Love. Garf, enemy of the pod. I found the man who created me and tore him limb from limb.

Gale's oils. Gilk-Jonic. Grey, titan of the night, defender of the meek. Hallie, the horribly awesome is Grey's twin. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase.

Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase happy birthday jeff use code jeff for 20 off your baldo purchase happy birthday jeff use code jeff for 20 off your baldo purchase hey jeff could you please have anyone from hey riddle riddle on the head gun podcast please holy shit i'm gonna barf that previous name was so bad i'm seriously gonna yarf myself fuck that guy let's move on jake olman james wagner i hardly know her jay's been doing some reading into it and this whole mess is the fault of sir sanford fleming so the fact that he got knighted Jesse Tipton Joe, for lack of a better term, well, Malazov JP again, my name last week made Jeff laugh

Honored So what do you guys think of the set? Do you guys think you did a good job? Caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep Beep Casper Bobasper Lauren Malang Lord Hunter the Ordained Ludwig Baldovin.

So it's Beethoven, but he's entered into a fourth period. The Balgazing Period. Martin Schwellisabeth Holmes. Michael Begel. Moe P. featuring Nolan Murphy. My order on a holocologist told me to stop smoking. Nate Portes thinks this has to be a Riley rename. Jeff can't be silly.

Nolan Murphy is like a young Van Gogh, but without the financial hardships, talent, unique artistic voice, or great cock. Nolan, that was really bad. Have a better Patreon name next week, or don't have one at all. Oh, hi, Mark. Well, prease. Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business through your Patreon name? Come say that to my face at smoking time on Main Island.

Pete Bradford patiently awaits the premiere of his theme song. Phoebe. Puffin and Squawk. Quack. Rees, like where they're spring with a z bergman sarah take me back i still love you i will always have that night in the alley behind arby's so what is this like a job now you're telling me that i have to update my name more than once a year that was three accounts not two i spent sixty dollars this month and i didn't even get a follow you guys are so stingy that's so raven it's the future i can well see the dulcet tones

of jeffrey sleep moans and tj michael tj michael well alissa's birthday came and went but i still got a few more weeks of this so i guess shout out my mom linea linea she's cool that's so funny new patron that's so fucking funny. Yeah. Shout out. Shout out to all moms. You know what? Shout out to the moms. Can we just finally, finally have a shout out to the moms on this fucking podcast?

Easy. No, it's just like we've been doing this for years and it's like it's about time. I don't think it's past due, but yeah, let's give them their due. And I'm going to meditate on that whole idea of motherhood. Of motherhood? Oh, that's really good. Maybe we should take a hiatus and really spend the time thinking about motherhood. I think we should.

Okay. And we'll be back in a week. Oh my god, a week-long hiatus to meditate on motherhood. It's what everybody's been needing and just didn't know it yet um we'll see you guys again next week thanks so much for listening to this episode of a real review arrivederci that was a hit gum original