Review Revue - REALLY Hot Sauce

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

This week on Review Revue, Geoff and Reilly enjoy some Really Hot Sauce, perform a play, and get a work place injury.     Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original.

No way! No way! It's everything you dream of But never can possess It's like the fairest breed Welcome to Jeff's End Oh, everyone is staring At what's sitting at the door You know it's got the density Of two lines To squeeze

You may be a tit man But you're about to see some ass Have a little squeeze. Welcome to Jeff's ass. That was amazing. I don't know if I'm violated or turned on. That was a cover of Welcome to Burlesque from the hit share Christina Aguilera, Extravaganza, Burlesque. Who hit share, Christina Aguilera,

Extravaganza, Burlesque. Who did that? Their voice is amazing. Yeah, their voice is great. That came in from Hannah from New Zealand, aka Hanarchy, aka probably Melanie Bracewell. Oh my God.

And they want to plug their Instagram, which is at the Madeline's Trio. That's M-A, well, I-L-E-I-N-E-S-T-R-I-O. That was amazing. Your voice is amazing. And I never thought I would enjoy a song about Jeff's ass so much. Listen, this fucking... Welcome to Jeff's ass so much. Listen, this fucking... Welcome to Jeff's ass!

This peach... No. ...has sort of become the teach. Sorry? Nothing. You know how it's like, oh, the students become the teacher? Yeah.

My ass is the professor now so not the teacher no i wish i wish i hasn't reached that level i wish i'd said that fuck i i yeah i'm holding my back i'm holding myself back from divulging too much personal information about your ass yeah and past sexual partners okay just it's not even that person i'll just say it every single person i've ever hooked up with more than once has been like i love your ass that's great so i just want to say that it's not like the lore that keeps and it will continue to grow is worthy. What you're saying is you're like, I'm not vain. Like I do.

People do think I have a great ass. A hundred percent. It's not just me. No, like I legit have a great ass. I like it's not my vanity. It's just the sight of my ass in my vanity. It's just it's like when I look in my mirror and i see that dumpy my heart goes thumpy for my ass jeff you're in a new home yeah i mean we both signed leases since the last episode i know i

already signed mine i signed mine since we last recorded someone i and i posted like just a photo of like us in our living room someone in the comments was like can't wait to hear jeff spill the address on next week's episode i don't even know the address good and it will stay that way even when you come over i'm gonna black it out i'm gonna like put you in a van bag over your head and then you'll just end up in my apartment you just put like a cvs plastic bag over the number so i know the street but i don't know the number and the street's really long so it could be anywhere but you're in your new place i'm in my new digs um and it is on driggs i moved to williamsburg and i moved in with Taye Diggs. What? There's no way. Are you happy there?

I'm happy here. It looks beautiful. God damn it. It looks gorgeous. Great light. The photos you sent are beautiful. I can't wait to see it in person. Yeah, it's, the light's amazing.

It's a new part of town that I've never lived in before. I wanted to stay in Echo Park. Which is rare for you yeah i'm i i would have stayed in echo park if i could have there was just nothing and uh but this place is great there's a you know new era a whole new me um you'll be surprised i think if not already uh how different i am you feel like the same your hair is longer and curlier it looks really good but other than that you feel like you're the same to me really yeah well it's not immediate change i mean it is in a way i'm recording this from daniel in my bedroom um

because our office has so much shit removed from it because we're in the process of moving that it's so echoey and being in here, recording in here really makes me feel like early COVID days when it didn't have an office set up and it was too hot in my closet and we were still figuring out how to record from home. And so doing it in here really brings, this might be, no,

I think I'll probably do one more episode from here, but we're like moving, moving in two weeks. And which also means we're going to be leaving Miss Valente and we've all been really sad about it. Um, and I was like, I was getting email with Daniel about it and he's like,

she's still your friend. And I'm like, no, you don't know, but it's sad to not live with somebody when, you know, you enjoyed living with them. Like,

I think this will maybe be my last time living with george uh because i'll probably move into my own place after this or something or new to new york who knows but uh yes no what since when no no i know it's not it's just a possibility like i'll either whatever um but it'll be sad even though it'll be the right thing not living with him yeah but we're not actually here to talk about moving yeah even though it's very present both of our lives i'm actually happy to not be talking about the thing that's all i've been talking about for the past yeah it is better on the other side i'll say i the only thing is i don't well first of all i don't live in a basement anymore that's so that's good i can see real life outside and um but i don't

have room for a desk in here so i'm i might just always record like this well you can come up well no we we'll see i was gonna say come over to our new place and use the office but we tried that once yeah it was horrible for sound we could record in person more I would love that but again I don't give a fuck about recording that's not why we're here it is exactly why we're here

no we're here to talk about really hot sauce I texted Jeff last night I'm like what should we you know of course our weekly ritual I'm like let'm like what should we you know of course our weekly ritual i'm like what let's brainstorm what should we do and jeff just sent back a full list and the first thing he said i was really proud of that list it came out of me it was a great list it was really varied like usually like when we send lists back and forth there's maybe like one thing that we're

like oh that's it but there was at least like i was in an acting class last night and so i look at my phone and there was at least three from that list that i'm like i could i'd be happy doing any of these but the first one was just really hot sauce all caps on really so what um what inspired that honestly i had nothing there's no inspiration i was just like oh what about really hot sauce um it inspired a dream i had last night we're getting into really hot sauce it inspired a dream i had um where daniel and i were at a party and there was like this girl in like the middle of the dance floor and she was like doing a sexy dance for her boyfriend but it was like really porny like really like over exaggerated moaning and stuff and she was pouring a vat of like hot chicken wings all over herself

and like rubbing it into her skin and i'm like girl your vagina must be on fire and i was like this is crazy and i look over at daniel and i'm just like there's no way everyone here is into this and everyone was and i'm like how do i compete with that i guess icy hot or like ice like ice um I I can handle a certain level of spice I don't see the point of a really hot sauce because there's just like no flavor it's just pain I I also thought that slash mostly still think that but have you ever been to heatonist in brooklyn no it's the hot sauce it's a hot sauce it's a hot sauce store uh and they're the people who supply the um hot sauce for hot ones and they're really hot there's all their hot sauces are incredibly hot and all of them are really good i just don't i think part of me sometimes just doesn't

understand the point it's like i like a good amount of spice but then when it hits the point of like pain and like i can't talk then it's like well i want to enjoy the food i i agree but i do think used sparingly it can be really good oh i feel like a lot of people just see it as like a game i know people i also like that aspect of it right i know people who um like have bought a varying level of hot sauces to like build up their tolerance and like test themselves um and actually i saw a lot of efforts i thought it was just like an anomaly and then in a lot of the reviews i was finding a lot of people do that a lot of people like we'll buy a varying level of spicy level hot sauces to to like build up their heat tolerance oh yeah when i was i was in a fraternity for one semester in college and we were very lightly

hazed but still hazed uh one of which was like you'd have to eat hot things and i was like into it because i was like this is great and i was like this is building up my spice tolerance and i don't have a choice either way so i have to get better at eating spicy food and now i can eat i can still eat really spicy food what was the hottest thing that you ate i ate a bunch of dried ghost peppers which is like the spiciest way to holy shit i you said like you had to eat spicy food that's like that is so insane that's so much more intense than i was imagining i also during the pandemic this is like the same instinct in me uh would go for a lot of walks and i was living at my parents house so i would walk up and down the driveway with no shoes on in the hot summer so that i would purposefully

scald the bottom of my feet so that i would build up more levels of skin layers of skin so that i could walk on hot sandy beaches and the like and you know not really feel the pain you okay no yeah yeah am i okay now no but then all worse even then the image of you alone walking barefoot up and down scolding pain. Worth it. So upsetting. So upsetting. I don't know. It was just something to do. You know, I would have done anything to feel something.

At least we're talking about something. We've done anything to feel something. But without any further ado, I feel like we should get into a review. That didn't work. Oh, okay. Without further ado, we should get into a review. There you go. When you say it twice, it's better. when i say it's twice it's nice do it again without further ado let's get into a review all right well now it fucking sucks because you did it three that's what i was

gonna say do you want to start or should i uh i'll start uh this comes in from latent c latent chili latent chili this is for the debom beyond insanity hot sauce wait we might have the same one probably yes we do yes Yes, this one! Five stars. I expected heat, and it didn't disappoint. What I didn't expect was how long it lasted and how the heat lingered on my chest. I went to the bathroom, and Lord Jesus, it burns. Game nights will be fun. Hee hee hee hee hee hee. I can't believe, out of every hot sauce and every every review the first one is the one that we both

fucking have I like to imagine it's a game night that has nothing to do with eating anything and it's just like all right oh my god you guys I haven't played candy land since i was a kid like this totally brings me back jason thank you for bringing this over like you guys have all brought such fun games i'm so excited to start with this yeah i mean like i feel like it could be a real walk down memory lane or should i say candy cane lane yes candy cane lane um i was just thinking like we can totally start with candy lane. Does anyone want some of this popcorn that I just made? You know what?

I'm okay right now, Jackson. Thank you so much. Jason, do you want any? I came having had, so I'm all right. I'm not hungry right now. But, you know. Everyone ate? What's that?

Everyone already ate? yeah well it's 10 you're so full you can't even have a little bit of this normal popcorn yeah yeah what even normal popcorn? yeah I feel like most people would just say popcorn also you also presented this whole thing like before we play,

we have to eat your popcorn, so what's the deal? No, I'm just saying. It's like you don't want to play Candyland on an empty tummy. Which we're not. We both have established we are not. I had a really great Impossible Burger. The formula is so different. It tastes really

good, actually. I don't care about about that what i care about is making sure that everyone has a little something in their tum tum before we roll the dice there's only three of us i don't think you have to say everyone also candy as in my memory candyland there's no dice you pull a card and it tells you the spot have you ever played just take the popcorn just take the just take a bite fine jesus god okay such a fun night oh the fuck man what is that gotcha this is game number one of the evening it's not a game It's just popcorn that you put some kind of weird seasoning on that's burning my tongue. It's dried ghost pepper. Oh, my God. My eyes are on fire.

Yeah, she touched her eyes, man. I can't believe that. You should have given me warning. I feel like I should go to the hospital. I can't see. Yeah, we need to flush your eye out in the bathroom. Cut to the bathroom. I'm, like, helping you flush need to flush your eye out in the bathroom cut to the bathroom i'm like helping you flush your eye out he's in the back of the bathroom round one has

just begun being gunned i don't she's gonna go home now i can't it hurts i think they're bleeding they are they are bleeding you're oh well that means you're winning the game, princess. What game? Don't call me princess. What the fuck is wrong with you? Also, I wasn't going to say anything, Jason, but your house is bad. Like this. Everything is a little bit dumb.

Are you talking about. Okay. I know I have one Dumb and Dumber poster in the bathroom and I have the same one in the kitchen but that's just because it's a great movie man come on no he didn't mean it's just like the you know you you have a couch facing the windows which could be cool but it really isn't it could be i like to watch this is the side of the house if you want a view face the backyard of the front yard you're facing directly into your neighbor's windows i would just like to point out that no one has offered me any popcorn you made your own popcorn have some i'd love for you to have some actually actually. Perfect. I thought no one would ever ask.

This is nothing. This is nothing to me. Like, part of this game. Right. Of course. Part of this game. Part of this game is hot poppers. And part of this game.

Awful name, by the way....is to see who has the best tolerance. The best tolerance. You said she won by crying and getting it in her eye. I don't understand the rules at all. And she's still here. She hasn't gone home yet. Okay. So are you beating her now?

I'm about to go to the ER. She's going to the hospital. That can't be winning the game. Oh, well, then... No, then she's disqualified if you go to the hospital. You can't leave, Sarah. Then if you leave, then you're going to be disqualified from the game. Water's clearly not working, so you can...

I thought you'd never ask for some totally normal refreshing milk. No way. The milk's going to be spicy. Don't drink it. It's going to be spicy milk. I swear to God, it milk's gonna be spicy don't drink it it's gonna be spicy milk i swear to god it's gonna be spicy milk no i never said anything about this totally normal chili creamy glass of milk chili like c-h-i-l-l-y or pours you a glass goes goes everywhere just drink it what the fuck we're having fun we're having fun see the heat has already gone away

I am all good I am all good now it's your turn man you gotta drink the milk I don't know why I'm doing this she's the one who needs the milk I need to go to the hospital I will try the milk for no other reason than to make sure it's not spicy

so she doesn't add it to hers. Yes! Yes! Yes! Can I just say, everybody? Oh, beautiful, beautiful. Can I just say, this is how friendships are made to last. No, it's not.

This is how friendships end. And so I'm so glad. You know, when you guys were coming up for game night, I thought, we're going to start the night as coworkers, and we're going to end the night as brothers and sisters. What type of chili is in this? Because I'm allergic to some of them. So you've heard of a ghost pepper?

I can't have that. Right. So it is like ghost pepper times 20. It's just called death. It doesn't even have the name pepper at the end of it. It's just called death. I kind of step up to you. I hit you in the shoulder.

One more time. I hit you in the shoulder One more time Hit you in the shoulder We're out of here My eyes Are pooling blood Come on I'll open the door for you Wait no if you guys leave Then who am I going to play games with

Nobody Would it make anyone feel better if I drank the milk? Yeah. I kind of would. So, you can all go to the hospital together. Build memories. I... Just let him come i have been begging to go to the hospital no let me think about it let me think about it no we are getting in this car and you are taking me to the emergency room i don't care about a sick fucking twisted saw like Gaines. We need to go.

My eyes are falling out of my head. Come to the doctor's office, not the ER. So you said this guy's a friend of yours, Jason? He would see us ASAP? We wouldn't have to wait? Oh, yeah, no, this guy. This guy's the best of the best. All right.

Just going to make a little injection into your tongue. Sarah is passed out on the floor. This will completely, I think, take care of things. Injection into the tongue. Straight in. Straight up ghost pepper oil. I think you're going to be tasting a little differently from now on. High fives, Jason.

This is the most fun game I've ever played. What did you say? This is the most fun game I've ever played. Cut to them at work. Welcome to Spectrum.net customer service. How can I help you today? Your three options are billing and payment. What? Sorry, a doctor injected my tongue with uh carolina reaper oil

please don't switch to at&t um um that was very silly and fun um should we take a quick break thanks to sponsors straight carolina reaper oil that's medical malpractice man this is a normal in i really don't think so there's no way you have to qualify it um tiny break tiny tiny It's fine. Tiny break. Tiny. Tiny. Tiny. And we're back. We're back and so tiny. We're both so tiny.

I can't breathe. No. It's been so long. I get to be. No. It's been so long. I was so glad. All right. Here's another review for Da Bomb Hot Sauce. This is five stars from Mario V. Mario Vollmers.

Mario Vollmers. The title is, it is spicy, but goes away fast. Okay. It has a good taste if you don't use too much good thing is you get the heat and it goes away fast so you can enjoy a meal without paying the price of feeling the heat after you finish a meal that's a good thing sorry one more time it has a good taste if you don't use too much. Good thing is you get the heat and it goes away fast. So you can enjoy a meal without paying the price of feeling the heat after you finish a meal. That's a good thing.

I don't know where our wires are getting crossed. Nobody's saying it's not a good thing to taste the meal with the sauce. I think we're just here at Da Bomb. We want to make sure that we're putting out a product that really packs the heat because that's what we do right no absolutely i'm just saying it's like no i i'm not criticizing i think that's where it's getting lost i mean even if you're saying transcriptually is not aggressive yeah and then you're uh your tone is really giving us pause, I think. We feel like you're upset about something.

I'm not upset. I'm not upset. Listen, I'm the personality hire here, right? I don't know where that was decided. I have no culinary experience. That you were the personality hire. I have no culinary experience. I just came in here and I thought I was brought in to just like keep up morale and have a good time.

You're a graphic designer. And also eat some sauce. You shouldn't even be in this meeting. I'm sorry to say. We're a small company, so like, yeah, yeah sit in but you've been dominating the conversation it's hard for anyone to get a word in an edgewise i just feel like i think what i love so much about about devon is that it's like it's so collaborative like everything about this team is so collaborative and so like thank you ryan for like bringing me on um since we're here i just wanted to share my thoughts because i thought everyone would be receptive because it's like you know you never

know when like where the next great idea might come from it might come from graphic design it might come from up top it might come from the lowest on the totem pole you never know where it's going to come from but just to be clear what you were upset maybe not upset about was that you want the spice to not linger past a meal because it doesn't right it doesn't i'm saying that's a good thing you don't have to pay the price of feeling the heat for after you finish the meal that's a good thing you keep phrasing it in those exact same words do you write that down or did i write that down you're reading from a script i am i mean well it's like i wrote down my thoughts before i came in here because i'm nervous because i'm in such awe of this no i just i mean yeah i'm from i'm from mill valley

all right is that okay because you seem a little upset almost that must have been such a beautiful place to grow up. I imagine that that was so wonderful for your childhood and also your family. Is that the case? What do you have in your hand? Yeah. Oh, this?

This is a script. Just to make sure everything is going smoothly. So sorry, I'll take it back. That sounds like a beautiful place to have grown up. I don't need to hear it again. I don't need to hear it again. Cut to him auditioning for community theater and uh like the audition request said um please everybody we'd like for you to be off book um for the audition what was that

sorry i'm i'm i'm ready i'm right oh and don't even hold the script actually Because we want to see your character's movement I Yeah Alright Does anyone want to go first? It's alphabetical order And you're first Whenever I'm ready

Definitely you Okay Do I need to slate? It's live theater Whenever I'm ready, whenever you're ready. Definitely you. Okay. Do I need to slate? It's live theater. Okay. Sorry. I'm Adam Anderson, and this is my audition for Death of a Salesman. Times like these, it's...

No, I can see by your face that's not... Don't look at me. Be in it. Sorry. I can see by your face that's not Don't look at me be in it Sorry Can I see my script really quick Sure Okay Oh okay okay Okay there we go

Can I keep it with me Nope Alright Puts it down Puts it just enough far away where i can i'm kind of stealing looks at it oh can somebody grab that off the stage fuck me what was that you don't have nothing um i'm you know what i'm feeling a little dizzy if anyone wants to go up first that is that is so fine i don't i don't want to waste anybody's time. But I know it, and I'm good at it. This is your time.

So if you get off the stage, you can't go back on. Oh, I didn't know those were the rules. Times like these, it's hard to provide for your family. I'm just staring at you. Are you Aang the character? Sorry, cut. Are you A Are you angry? Sorry, cut. Are you angry? The character... Sorry, cut.

Your character's not angry. You seem angry. Oh, yeah. No, I thought I was just trying something out. You don't have to take big swings. For sure. All right. I'm ready to go again. You know, you don't have to take big swings. For sure. Okay. All right.

I'm ready to go again. When you are. Again. Absolutely when you are. I'm not going to call action or anything like that. That's not even what happens in live theater. Okay. Times like these, it's hard to provide for your family and

when you're drooling you are drooling and thanks so much is that the line he already got way too much time the director was really working with them so patient with them been for what nothing that's not even a line from the play

but they let him go for it all right uh one star also for debom i guess maybe this episode's just debom but uh this is from p. Do you want to give them a full name? Picante Mac, parentheses, and cheese. I almost don't even want to read the review. Just do it off that. One star.

From? What was it? Picante Mac and Cheese. Picante Mac and Cheese.ante cheese right mac i purchased this product as a gift for a friend who has never sorry i purchased this product as a gift for a friend who never has enough spicy in his food it came out of the box with a little bit of residue on the outside of the bottle so i ran it under the sink to wash it off with my bare hand five hours later my hand is still intensely burning i've been icing it for the sink to wash it off with my bare hand five hours later my hand is still intensely

burning i've been icing it for the last couple of hours and i know i'll have to sleep with an ice pack on this stuff is hot giving it one star because i'm injured without even opening the bottle all right guys um you know first day on this job you guys are all uh teamsters so you should know the deal uh hard hat at all times in the factory um protective goggles if you're using any equipment and um basically you have to clock in and out um as soon as you cross through this door okay uh so we are all in the hallway now and when we cross through the threshold you will just clock in and then as soon as you come out clock out um any questions about safety or anything like that no that sounds that all sounds good to me you know another drill

rodney okay i'm i my shoulder what's going you sleep on it weird? I don't know what. I think it was something in the machinery. Something in the machinery? From another job? Rodney, you haven't even gone into the room yet. You can't be injured from the machinery if you're not even in the same room as the machinery. No, I really think that something went wrong

on the company's end, and I feel like I need to go home and maybe call a lawyer. Are you talking about this job? That something happened on this job? Are you talking about a different job? The one, yeah, this place. The one we haven't even started yet. Well, we started.

We're here, aren't we? We haven't even clocked in. We haven't even clocked in to enter. As you enter the factory. We are in a hallway very close to the door of the building. You've done nothing almost. I don't know, you guys. I have a really bad feeling about my shoulder.

You have a bad feeling about it or it hurts? Does the shoulder hurt or you're nervous? I'm really worried because it hurts physically. About hurting it? Henry, I thought that there was like an on-site medic just in case. Should we have them come take a look at Rodney? I mean, I guess, yeah. Just for peace of mind.

Cut to their office. Okay. All right. So sorry that you're not feeling good. Can you tell me a little bit about what's going on? I think the machine kind of messed up my shoulder almost. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry to hear that. which machine um just so we can file it for the report and look back on the security cameras i don't even know how to answer that question because my shoulder hurts so much from this

company's premise i completely understand that sir i'm so sorry that you're in pain if it'll help i can look back on security cameras the shoulder just like, it needs immediate attention and not security camera footage. Oh. All right. Well, I guess I can do paperwork later. Let me take a look at the shoulder. All right. Can you give me a sense of where exactly it's hurting?

Can you kind of point to the area? The shoulder, all of it. It's not all. The whole shoulder? Not all? It sucks. of it it's not all the whole shoulder it's not all it sucks so can you take your face out of the pillow i can't hear you the shoulder wait i'm sorry you're in pain if you tell me where it is i'm sure i can who do i how do i sue okay i just think that's what's gonna make this shoulder feel better i'm so sorry for laughing

i think we can just call it a day i think that if you let me get my hands on your shoulder i'm sure i can feel out for what's wrong either give you an ice pack or put you on a sling. I don't think we need to go to the length of a certain company. Honestly, that's another lawsuit. You cannot touch me. I'm sorry? Okay, then forget that one. I'm the medic. It is actually my job to touch you and figure out how to help you. Just in terms of like, ugh. The shoulder, it hurts, it sucks. in terms of like oh forget that shoulder it hurts it sucks in terms of i have been very patient up to this point but i'm gonna

take a guess and say that you actually didn't hurt yourself there's not a drop of sweat on your shirt you don't look like you've put in an ounce of work today the shoes still have a tag i'm gonna write down a sentence and i just want you don't don't comprehend it but read it out loud to me write it down it says i want a piece of your tight little ass. Okay. All right. I'm actually going to sue.

Go where? This is... You need to go. You need to go. How? This is... You can drop the act. I know that your shoulder is fine.

Stop saying ow. Stop harassing me. get out of my office almost what is your problem man get the fuck out of here i want money clearly right you should get it why don't you just do the same thing as me why are you on their side because i love my job being a medic at a factory yes i love being a medic i don't care where i love helping people i love helping then let me do that you have to go to like eight years of school to do what i do it takes a lot of work ow i'm sorry um beginning lecture hall He's kind of in the middle back.

Ow. Young man, you okay up there? What? Almost. I'm going to continue on with the lecture. If you need help, go. Can you just give me the credits? Just give me the credits,

and then the shoulder will probably feel better that's not how this works um oh how does this work you bring me into your office hours and you make me do things i don't want to do yes what yes if you leave class i'm gonna have to give you extra credit to make up for missing assignments that's not quite enough for you to say what are you what are you gonna make me do in office hours i'm gonna make you fill out my paperwork i don't know i haven't decided yet hang on make you fill can you just say My ass What

What Can you just say the words to me my ass This is incredibly inappropriate I am your professor There's like hundreds of students Dead silent Ping ponging back and forth. Can you say it?

Because then I can go to credits and then I can just. Can I say my ass? That is a lawsuit. You guys all heard him. He said that he's going to at office hours make me fill his ass. Now I get the credits. Now I get the degree. Now I get to be a medic at a factory

cut to the entire class tossing him out onto the street my shoulder the shoulder cracks my shoulder for real this time no man you can't you don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Cut to a children's book publisher. Listen, we love the moral of the story. I just wonder if we use animals, you know, like maybe like a young girl and she's wearing something interesting, like a bright color.

And then there's like, I don't know, I'm just spitballing your beard like a wolf. Oh wait, that's Little Red Riding Hood. That's Little Red Riding Hood. Are you thinking about Boy Who Cried Wolf? Yeah, like what if it was that instead of... I just don't think... I think it's like that's so overdone.

And I think people really haven't heard a lot of stories about Man Who Cried Shoulder. Right. I just don't think that four and five-year-olds are going to know what a teamster is or be able to even understand it if they're learning it. But you know what actually i've been reading up a lot about developmental psychology and the more you talk to babies just like like normal the more they understand so they should be learning about teamsters they should be learning about biology 500 courses you know and so i think it's like if we treat them like kids

they're never going to grow up he kind of like looks over to his associate all of them are like oh she's got all right yeah what the fuck cut to the book launch of the man who cried shoulder it's a bunch of parents bringing their kids for like a reading in barnes and noble they're all wearing slings. Shoulder! Shoulder! Shoulder! The parents are all rubbing their eyes like, I haven't heard the end of shoulders in months. My kid keeps saying that he wants to go to Teamster school, and I keep telling him that there's not a school for that. My kid is literally in a union. That awesome to see the leader or no i said

his shoulder hurts oh yeah he took the wrong lesson from the book i think all of them did actually they just love shoulders they don't even get it they just picked a body part to be obsessed with uh all right should we do our last segment i think so this shouldn't be all Really, I mean, I don't have anything to report other than moving. I wanted to do something a little bit more interesting than that, but moving is a trip in so many different ways. But I think, I don don't know maybe this is some like advice unsolicited advice even like uh even if you're not moving just kind of every few months get rid of shit yeah donate it sell it because you you don't want to be like me where you lived

somewhere for almost three years and had a ton of space and then moved to a place that you don't want to be like me where you lived somewhere for almost three years and had a ton of space and then moved to a place that you don't have a ton of space and realize how much stuff you need to sell in a two week span. Right. And I think it's just healthy. It's good to donate stuff. Secondhand stuff is better for the environment. All that shit. All that shit. All that jazz.

And it just feels good. it feels good to have less shit yeah something that did shake me i saw nope finally um how was it yeah i loved it personally um there's one i mean like this is just gonna be a non-spoiler talking about i thought it was great jordan peele's freaking amazing like amazing. Everyone in the cast was incredible. Big old crush on Steven Yeun. There's just, there are two scenes. Have you seen it? You haven't seen it.

No. For anyone out there, if you've seen it, I know that there's one sequence that everyone's talking about that's like really unsettling. And it was very unsettling. There's another moment that like people haven't been talking about as much. But for me, it's like one of my, it's encapsulating some of my biggest fears into one like 15 second shot.

And a big one of it is just like, it's like claustrophobia meets death. And so that was like, I was like, it was so, it was so fucking good. But I, there's usually like with jordan peele movies there's like one frame in each film that like i leave in each film that i've seen of his that i leave being like that's gonna give me fucking nightmares that is the scariest shit and so it's like i remember seeing get out and like there were certain frames that i'm like nope nope don't don't don't and it gave me nightmares then there's certain ones from us scared the shit out of me and then there are certain frames from this that i what shook me is that i didn't have any nightmares about it

instead i had that weird fucking chicken wing porn dream so i don't know so that's what shook me is that i was certain but especially after that that sequence that like scared the fuck out of me and as i'm watching i'm like god damn it i'm gonna go home and i'm gonna dream about this and i really don't want even before i was going about telling elizabeth i'm like i'm so not looking forward to going to sleep because i was so scared um and i didn't and so it really really shook me that i mean watch because i'm talking about right now now. I'm definitely going to maybe dream about it tonight. Unfortunately. Um,

but I loved the movie. I thought it was great. Um, and if you haven't seen it yet, go check it out. It was wonderful. Love it. I might.

I just might. it's really good. Um, should we thank some VI podcasts? Yes. Oh my God. And if, hey, these are vi podcasts and

there's still time if you aren't a vi podcast now but want to be one we're having a zardi this is coming out on the 23rd we're having a zardi in three days on friday the theme is hyper for some reason um oh sorry really quick the other thing i'm taking me is that tomorrow elizabeth and i are going to vegas for less than 24 hours because she's taking me to the closing night of silk sonic residency for my birthday um so i'm so she texted me while we're recording she goes we're going to vegas in the morning which is just so silly um so yeah but if you want to be a vi podcast sign up and up. We have Zarty three days from now. So come and see what it's all about.

It's truly... It's truly a good time. Sorry, I got three hours to sleep last night. No, it's super fun. It is. Super fun and interesting and exciting. And all that jazz. Big thanks to underscore Christian Sidehug so he can hug two people simultaneously.

Agent Michael Scarn. A co might have struck the wrong tone last week. Let her be clear. This changes nothing. She still demands an apology. Austin can't help but think he should start writing that fucking campaign again. Because how else will he like creatively express. Bobuell and that's it okay no fancy name or anything here no siri gives me the same vibe as this totally normal popcorn yeah cam is sleepless

but not in seattle that's right he's racked with guilt over the fact that he forgot to wish jeff a happy birth chuck connor finnegan will bury you clayton sorry that was just for my buddy clayton corbin bull i saw it in person i was driving and i saw it i saw it off the freeway what's corbin bull corbin bull is the the bowling alley from the bowling alley episode that was like you really want a bowl right damien kirk is absolutely hurtling towards his fourth decade of life it's fucked up for me to say but he deserves to be sad about it fancy octopus freya gray got more than ghosted she texted back said she got covid and then he never heard from her again that is more than ghosted. That sucks. Happy birthday, Jeff.

Use code Jeff for 20% off your Baldo purchase. Hey, Jeff, it's Dad. We need to talk about those long showers you're taking. Call me. We don't. I eat spaghetti and heat balls. It's like spaghetti and meatballs, but instead of noodles, I eat the sun.

I just met a girl. Fuck. I just met a girl with just a big old set of bahanka ronka but the zookas that's horrible i don't think you did i sincerely would like to apologize for the wolf the epic wolf i've been with jeff my rent money to pay for the subscription and would really appreciate it if he could send it back. Thanks. Jake Ullman. James Wapner. So it's like James Wagner except he's got a wet ass pussy.

That's my favorite so far this week. It's really good. Jay's actually in the US for a bit now and this whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jesse Tipton. Joe and for lack of a better term, well, Malazov. John Gawker. So it's John Walker, but he's in awe of Jeff's, for lack of a better term, wagon.

Caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep. Casper Bobasper. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Lucas Heinzel. Michael Begel. Nate Portis has a birthday soon and he can cry if he wants to. Happy birthday, Nate, new patron.

You're not a new patron. Nolan Murphy is a chill dude when you get to know him that's what nolan wrote on the patreon but he's not chill he's actually a big fuck that's horrible that's so mean to yourself oh hi mark well priest oh so it's lame to advertise your business to your patreon name come say that to my face at Smoking Time on Main Island. Oh, everyone shh. Dakota just saw a deer. That's really good. Who cares?

You saw a fawn. It doesn't matter. I didn't see it. Pete Skeet Skeet Bradford. Puff Riley. Quok. Raven Schmaven. Reese Witherspoon.

So it's like Reese Witherspoon, but she ordered the salad, not the soup. That was very good. Scene is Jeff getting his ankles waxed. Oh, poo. Smooth Pete and the slammed gashes. So what, is this like a job now? You're telling me I have to update my name more than once a year? Steven Sondheim Stephen

Sondheim D.B. Oh my god. Stephen Sondheim D. Beetlejuice. Ice Baby You Cougars Potition Potocaine Abuela Cullen Swansea is a coastal city and the second

largest. No. This is so fun. Every time I read one of these out loud, it's like, I'm glad this one landed on me. This is so fun. Every time I read one of these, it's like, Bing, another $20 for one of these dumb cunts. TJ Michael. Wish Hallie good luck at her new job.

Good luck, Hallie. Good luck, Hallie. You can follow Riley on Instagram, Hallie. Good luck, Hallie. You can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley and spa on Twitter at Riley coyote. Um, yeah, you can follow Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at Jeff where Dean,

you can find the show on Instagram review, review and Twitter at review, review show or Reddit or slash review, review. And we'll see you guys again next week. Yeah. on the day arrivederci that was a hit gum original