Review Revue - Ricola

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

This week on Review Revue, Geoff and Reilly rename Google, perform the best scene in the history of the show, and social climb.    Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time.

This is a HeadGum Original. A podcast to hold you too close A podcast to hurt you too deep A podcast to sit in your chair And ruin your sleep That's true, but there's more than that Is that all you think there is to it? You've got so many reasons for not listening to a podcast. But Nolan, you haven't got one

good reason for listening to nothing. Come on, you're on to something, Nolan. You're on to something. A podcast to need you too much. A podcast to know you too well. A podcast to pull you up short and put you

through hell you hear what you listen for you know you're not a kid anymore Murphy I don't think you'll ever be a kid again kiddo hey buddy don't be afraid that it won't be perfect the only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be don't stop now

keep going a podcast you have to let in. A podcast whose feelings you spare. A podcast who, like it or not, will want you to share a little, a lot. And what does all that mean? Nolan, how do you know so much about it when you've never listened? It's much better listening to it than looking at it, Nolan. Add him up, Murph. Add him up.

A podcast to crowd you with love. A podcast to force you to care. A podcast to make you come through. Who'll always be there, as frightened as you of reviewing reviews reviewing reviews reviewing reviews reviewing reviews open your podcast app nolan and make a wish want something uh we'll we'll add the rest of it at the end because we got to get the show started but that was a masterpiece crying okay so this came in from jimmy's elgingin. Jimmy'sElgin at gmail.com. He says, hey, Ryan, Jeffrey, first time caller, long time baller, Jimmy's Elgin here.

I whipped up this theme song for the show. I hope you like it. Love, Jimmy's Elgin. And then the PS is I want to thank in order of appearance myself, Nolan Murphy, Jimmy's Elgin doesn't exist. Gray, Sabrina, Bob Buell, Connor Finnegan, Shaw, Hallie, Michael Ebach, Moe Peet, and Dr. Co-MD for taking the time to record their parts of the theme. That was a tour de farce of some of our most beloved VI podcasts

on our Patreon. That was a parody of Being Alive from Company, which is one of my favorite musicals. I'm crying. I'm crying i'm crying that was so fucking cool i'm so emotional from that the latter half of that in at the end so people could finish listening that was amazing unbelievable that was amazing just the fact that you guys all did that together and just like that's community that. I'm just really fucking emotional about that. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Fuck. They're going to roast me for this at the next party. That you cry. Crying at Nolan singing being alive. That was amazing. I thank you guys. This is so crazy. Yeah.

Jesus. Well, you know, tears drop as they will yeah coughs i love ricola drops i i do too they are my go-to whenever I'm feeling a little sicky. They're my go-to drops when I'm feeling a little sicky. They are not like this intense burning, ew, medicine, get away. They're like soothing, lovely. Well, with herbs. They have soothing herbs.

They have soothing herbs. They absolutely have soothing herbs. They have soothing herbs. Sorry, there's a giant monarch butterfly outside my window. They're endangered. They have soothing herbs. Sorry, there's a giant monarch butterfly outside my window. They're endangered. They have soothing herbs. I feel unbeatable. I feel unbeatable.

How so? I feel like I could sing the entire score of Company every single part. Oh, that's okay. No worries. And not. Okay. Oh, no. You don't have to.

Oh, you're all good. Yeah. Ricola. Ricola. I mean, it's just like, what isn't there to say about it i think i like halls better are you serious no no i like the ricola cherry dual action dual action there was um there was one was it a halls i know this is a ricola episode but there was there was one i think it was halls that was like a strawberries and cream

or am i thinking of something else no it was actually good though and i remember i really don't think no but it was good i would like i would pop that shit like candy it was it was good because i remember being in a musical and my voice was giving out and like i'd pop some of those bad boys and it was they worked like a fucking charm yeah um but were they halls it doesn't matter it doesn't matter this is a ricola episode and ricola what i told daniel yesterday that we had landed on ricola as one of the topics and from across our home i hear elizabeth go listen that the person who came up with that jingle should be a millionaire. I mean, it's unbelievable. When was the last time you had a Ricola?

Glad you asked. It's been a couple years, I think. I mean, save for COVID, I haven't been sick in a while. No, I was sick in May, but I didn't have any Ricola. Ricola. I had a cold i i don't really do ricola ricola unless i have a cough and i knock on wood haven't had a cough in a long time yeah um but i had a little bit my throat was a little bit sore again knock on wood um my throat was a little bit sore when i had that cold um and the ricola really helped it was very soothing um also i saw a comment on one of the latest uh head gum sketches we released there were two in which i was sick it was uh interruption

and children's books you could really hear it in children's books but someone you being sick yeah someone someone commented i forget which one someone commented on but it was because i talked about it either at the zardi or on the pod about how i was sick those days not covid but i just had a cold and someone's like you can really hear it but i can especially hear it in children's books because interruption it's like it was the first one of the day i had so much adrenaline going into it and i was like all right let's just fucking and also because i knew the second one you were doing most of the talking so i'm like i know that interruption it's like we're the weird person so i need to like really turn it on and so i like i

powered through that but in children's books i wanted to die and so here i'm just like who's leather hansen like yeah so fucking sick but uh there were so many there are also a lot of comments too that were like uh this is just them they're genuine reactions to what i'm saying because all of my lines are grotesque fucking disgusting dream small but i was really excited to to release this one because of this uh which youtube.com slash head gun we're releasing sketches again if you didn't know i feel like if you're listening to this show you definitely know but uh just loved uh shooting that scene where you did the swirly thing and like like when i because we like hey our dp helped choreograph that. He was great.

In writing these, that batch, I was like, I can't wait for us to shoot this and to see it. I want to see you give me a swirly. Because it's just, you are compared, like our size, our height difference is so drastic. It's so big. Are you five five? Five four and a half. You're five four and a half.

And so to so funny dragging you um but that's what we're talking about we're talking about ricola and um i would die for ricola just kidding i mean it's really good um but do you want to start us off yes so this is a three-star review of original natural formula uh three stars uh title is low in menthol what's who is it from phyllis m phyllis menthol phyllis menthol title low in menthol low in me oh and well um does not stop a post-nasal drip causing cough. Low on menthol and high on unpleasant herbs. I think we've all been high on unpleasant herbs. Possibly those herbs will produce an effect

in an undetermined time, but not probably. What? I prefer the now and powerful. Therefore, this candy should be placed in the candy department and not among the cough drops. I just like the sentence, I prefer the now and powerful. Okay.

Phyllis, thank you for coming by with your suggestions from the suggestion box. You know, at this company, we really, really value everyone's opinion. box. You know, at this company, we really, really value everyone's opinion.

And, you know, here at Google, we do what we can to make it feel like a home. You know, we have this best candy station, lunch station. We have everything. And so we will definitely take moving the cough drops to the candy station into consideration. Well, not just any cough drops, but if it's gonna not have any menthol, that's candy. That belongs in the candy department.

I don't know about that. Everyone's grumbling like, no, Ricola isn't candy. Yeah, I think candy, the way we've set it up here is like it's more like, you know, Reese's or Butterfinger or Swedish Fish. Like something that's actually candy. At least Butterfinger would coat my throat with a layer of dry dairy.

Ricola, all it is is unpleasant herbs and spices. Right. Listen, you have been at this company longer than any of us here. I'm a really good engineer. You cannot fire me. And that's what's unfortunate is that you are one of the best engineers we have ever seen. So, listen, we have a lot of other things to get through today. Is there anything else?

I don't think we're going to move the cough drops to where people get candy. But is there anything else that you wanted to bring up? Because we do need to move on. There are other people's suggestions. That's fine. I'm not happy about it, but it's fine. Okay. Moving on takes out a list.

I think every computer monitor should be not on desks, but in a communal co-working environment where collaboration is encouraged. Because, let's be honest, working together is the candy of working together. You don't think computers should be on desks? What? You don't think, sorry, so are you saying- I think everyone should work at like a conference table. Right, I think that would maybe

lower productivity levels a little bit. It might be a little bit distracting. I think it increases collaboration, which is the candy of working. Sorry, collaboration is amazing. It is vital to the work that we do here. It is candy. You keep coming

back to candy um i've never heard you do this which is weird did you did something happen in the last week or so because nothing happened i just yeah sorry no it's okay again we cannot fire you because you are a prodigy of an engineer. And what was that? Sorry, my phone rang. I put it on silent. It's okay. Sorry, it's ringing again. Hello?

My God, you're taking a call. They didn't move the recall out of the candy department, and they didn't take my co-working suggestion, and they're probably not going to like the taffy idea either. Who are you on the phone with? I'll call you back. That was my partner. Could you not take a personal call in the middle of a meeting? We have so many people to get to.

Google taffy for a year. We are not a candy company. Exactly. And you know what else? People take Google for granted. They take the search engine, they take the name for granted. I work my ass off to make sure that I'm feeling lucky works. Right?

So what if we called it Taffy, got people's attention, and then you know what people start saying? Taffy's a horrible name for a search engine. Google was better. I really appreciate Google now. Wait, so, sorry. So your plan. No, I'm just trying.

We're all just trying. How do you not get this? I just need to walk through it step by step to make sure I understand. Because I'm not sure if I don't understand or if I do and it's just insane. You think that people are taking the name google for granted i think they're taking the name and the search for granted we are having more hits than ever but you think so sorry so you think by changing the name temporarily from google to taffy taffy.com but then taffy.com yes you have to keep the g in

there somewhere so the plan is for people to then dislike the name change yes it won't be a positive change correct for them to then be like it'll get people wanting google back and in 364 days time we're gonna go back to google and they're gonna come back to us eating off the plate like suckers. Speaking of, let's move the suckers to the candy department. Why the hell are they by the break room? People already talk about Google every single day. I could not tell you a day that goes by where I or anyone I know doesn't use Google as a verb. That is a verb now.

Just picture this close everybody close your eyes do you think google isn't everybody close your eyes no i'm people use it i'm saying it's so popular that people have taken it for granted everybody close your eyes that's amazing that's amazing that is such a popular thing that you'll take it close your eyes close your eyes it's not new what we're doing close Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes. Fine. Okay. Now picture this. My God. I wish we could fire you, but you're indisposable.

People are having a Sunday fun day. They're at Drunch. Somebody can't remember the name of a song. Okay. They say, oh, you know what? I'm going to Google. Sorry. I'm going to taffy it. Imagine how pissed you would be.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. I would be pissed if someone said, ugh, I'm going to taffy the name of the song. Everyone agrees it doesn't make sense. Everyone uses Google so offhand at this point. That is amazing.

The brand recognition that Google has is astronomical. So I don't understand why that's a bad thing why you're trying to change it for a year you said temporarily and then he's a 364 days from now we're gonna change it back i just think that sometimes you gotta sweep the rug right you gotta fucking catch people off guard so that they get talking about things again. All right? We live in a digital. You're acting as if Google has gone off the map somehow. No, I'm saying it's so in the background, and I want to bring it to the foreground. It's really not. When Facebook changed their name to Meta, everybody talked about it for a decade. Because it was dumb.

Really? Because it was a really stupid name. Okay. Well, I'm a little worried then about Taffy because it's you don't need to be worried you don't need to be worried about taffy because we are not going to move forward with that idea i can promise you let's just hang on for a second fine try it on in this room all right uh does anybody have an image that I can reverse taffy image search? Right. So it's dumb. It's really, really bad idea. We don't have to do taffy then.

All right. But can we fucking move the recall out of the candy day? If we move the recall out. I'll never bring taffy.gov up. Taffy.gov. Gob. I thought it was gom it was gom and then i realized gom it doesn't it doesn't have the same ring as gov but taffy.gov is not how people are gonna pronounce it they will think it is a government website well it's not it's taffy.gov oh god gob

yes like gobstopper i thought it was go I'm like, that is definitely something that we cannot do. And we won't. Okay, then EDU. No. From EDU. Fuck it. If us moving the Ricola... Sorry, I don't know what...

Was it because I swore? No. Let's just fucking compromise. Let's meet in the middle here just a little bit directly at 50%. We will park the domain name taffy.gov no it will redirect to google.com who says no everybody that doesn't affect anything taffy.gov you could probably get for ten dollars a year and as soon as we buy it it's worth millions fine you know what if you want to put

10 of your personal dollars into buying the domain taffy.gob to have it just redirect to google.com then you know what Alphabet has to own it or else it doesn't have value cause I'm just some guy Alphabet's a

multinational tech corporation and everything they say goes and is valued, right? So it has to be officially Google's parked domain. I don't know. How can we get out of this meeting?

Listen, you're the one who wanted to do these town halls where any employee can bring up anything. So here we are. I'm pitching taffy.gov. I don't understand why this hasn't gone through already. We could have gotten it, parked it, and redirected already in the time that we've been talking.

Fine. And the Ricola could be in the candy. We're not going to move the Ricola. Fine. We'll get... It's an either or for me. Because I don't want to give you too much. And have you get too much.

You're putting me in a really tough spot here if I have a choice. Okay, fine. Then you take a second. You go sit down. Think about which is more important to you. Because neither matters to me. Neither matters to the work that we're doing. So either you figure out what one you're...

What hill you're going to die die on or you need to just sit down because we have other people to get to let's take it up 45 minutes of the 50 minute town hall all right great i'm gonna go taffy.gov let's do taffy.gov and then I'll probably just move the Ricola. At least on my floor. I don't care what you guys do on floor seven, but on floor six, we eat Ricola with the candy. Taffy.gov. Fine. I made shirts.

Cut to like a month from then. They're walking down the street. Passing by a coffee shop. Oh, shit. Oh my God, I forget you can you taffy that one restaurant we're going to dinner tonight i need to look at the menu really quick smirks i'm gonna be rich as shit uh all right let's take a break. Taffy.gob.

Gob. That's good. That's merchable. Taffy.gob. That is merchable for this show. Yeah. And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. And we're back. We need to make taffy.gov shirts yes like in the google font uh all right okay review i mean listen i had a field day with these i have so much i'm trying

to pick from them because i'm shocked that the reviews for Ricola are so fucking good. Yeah. They're really, really gorgeous. This is again from Ricola, just original Ricola. Five stars from PMR. You get to choose all the initials for PMR. Post Menstrual Randy. Okay. Post Menstrual Randy. Okay, Postmenstrual Randy.

That's, yeah. Five stars. The title is The Best Cough Drop. Most cough drops have artificial flavors, which make me very sick. My body just can't tolerate artificial sweeteners. I love the all-natural ingredients, including using real sugar for sweetening. Another thing, they are hard. I like that I can't chew them.

Other drops are soft, and before I know it, I've chewed them up. These melt in your mouth, so you get all the good ingredients. I like that I can't chew them up because you put a soft piece of lozenge in my mouth. Chomp, chomp, chomp. That bad boy's turned to dust in 0.5 seconds. All right. We have a welcome to the focus group for Ricola.

What are your guys' thoughts on the new cough drops alright so Seamus I got to say I love the new design the bag is looking gorgeous I guess my only thing would that be I wish they were a little bit bigger very good

very good what about you Rieman my favorite thing about Ricola well first of all Very good, very good. What about you, Rieman? My favorite thing about Ricola? Well, first of all, I want to say thank you for welcoming me into your beautiful country of Scotland. My favorite thing about the Ricola cough drops, which also happens to be my favorite thing about the country of Scotland, is that it's hard. All right. What? Do you want me to elaborate on that a little bit more? the country of Scotland is that it's hard. Right. What?

Do you want me to elaborate on that a little bit more? A little... A little bit. So what... Okay. I'm a little bit worried. About what?

About why you want them hard. No, they are hard and I like that for them and for me. The thing about Scotland, why Scotland's hard, is that you guys don't let anyone bully you, push you around. That's why I came here. That's why I moved here. What are you bullied? Was I bullied? Of course I was was bullied i was bullied my entire because of your big forehead and your thick eyes

because of my what you have very thick eyes i was bullied just for the way that i i don't play nice with others but i mean yeah that what i'm saying I mean, yeah, that. What I'm saying is- Sounds like you were the bully. No. What I'm saying is I like Ricola because they're as hard as I am. And I don't mean it that way. What I'm saying about Ricola-

Stand up. No, I don't feel comfortable doing that. All right, you're a wreck. That's fine. That's actually not really fine, but films make do. Here's the thing about Ricola. I'm a chomper.

I chomp, chomp, chomp. I use these biters to go down hard. And these Ricola drops, they don't let me do that. Okay, so now it sounds like you use teeth when you're going down on someone. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that Scotland is hard,

just like me, just like Ricola. And that's why I love this new design, because that soft shit, that was me back when I lived in Wisconsin, okay? That was me before I moved to Scotland. And that's me before Ricola. So, yeah, I'm really honored to be here. I'm feeling great about it. Thank you for the drops. All right, let's move on.

Gavin? I don't know if I want to continue on with the mating because I believe that that man is quite erect and it makes... Right. Aye. Aye. erect and it makes so I might email you my thoughts from home and I might head out if that's all right that's all right it's all right thank you for coming yeah no worries uh sure thing um just Venmo me the

$75 a little bit later I guess when you have a minute once we get your email we will I don't know what his problem is all I've said again I don't feel like that would be productive

at this time so that means you're a wrecked fine you want me to stand up I'll stand up don't feel like that would be productive at this time. So that means you're direct. Fine. You want me to stand up? I'll stand up. Oh, you're not direct. I don't see anything. Fuck! Fuck! A Scottish focus group where someone's

hard. But not even. Maybe not our best, but I i mean it was fun for me in the moment to try and do that that was the best scene we've ever done let's uh let's keep it going that's gonna go down in the top 10 for the year there's no way it's number one how i really don't think so okay here we go this is uh again for five stars best cough drop i ever had from o to b literally sorry the letter o number two letter b O2B Emily. O2B Emily. Why did I wait years to try these drops? Honestly, I thought they would taste like medicine. I've always purchased fruit-flavored drops before believing all drops were created equal. Wrong! I will never go back!

These don't taste like medicine, and they work faster than anything else. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what they taste like. They they work faster than anything else unfortunately i cannot tell you what they taste like they are unlike anything i can describe try them for yourself don't wait like i did jeremy it has been so long oh my god thank you so much for meeting up for a drink i know that with your new job the schedule is so hectic but i think it's like the older you get the more you got to make time for your friends you know just in a different way right yeah yeah i'm are you okay yeah it's you know make time for your friends make time for people you know for people you know latter category people you know i've known you for like 10 years you were best friends yeah but the new job is like kind of flashy know a lot of cool people

know you know a lot of cool well that's why i wanted to take you out i mean like i tell me about it i mean like my god well you know it's celebrity styling so i'm meeting uh you know i actually just worked with jeremy allen white uh now i'm i'm about to start a clero job just for one photo shoot not to for on a continual basis but she's awesome um and uh i did i ended up doing ben and jen's uh reception in vegas no way yeah sorry Let me finish. Uh, and, um,

there's this thing in like in the industry a little bit where you're like, when someone important, more important than you was talking, you kind of have to get to the floor. So just kind of keep that in mind. Um, I'm sorry. I don't know anything about the industry.

You know, it's like being a kindergarten teacher. I guess I'm not in the biz. Like you do me a huge favor. Yeah. Can you let me have the floor for a second yes and um i ended up working with david chang for a year or sorry we're signed on to do it a year because i started very recently ago but uh he's really into indigo like japanese dyed indigo

so i've been trying to find him some uh kimonos some work pants and it's kind of interesting uh but and also i'm only saying this because you asked about the job so i'm gonna keep going what was that i did i did ask i mean this is the stuff i i all right you clearly want to talk so tell me about potato salad or whatever you do at the cafe you work at i'm a kindergarten teacher potato salad i thought you worked at a cafe i just like i you know they say like don't forget where you came from i already have wow um okay i mean yeah my job isn't as flashy as yours i, you're getting a lot of really cool opportunities popping up. I'm so thrilled for you. I mean, like, my God. My friend's a celebrity.

You know, my friend knows a lot of celebrities. Celebrity stylist. No, I mean, kindergarten's great. The kids have been amazing. And I don't know. I feel like I've really found... What? Oh, sorry. Nothing. and i i don't know i feel like i've really found what oh sorry nothing i was just thinking about something nathan fielder said to me nathan fielder oh my god i've just started watching

the rehearsal it's so great he's so funny yeah no just tell me about your kindergarten fuckers like you know shit their pants or something oh um because you're kind of you're more of a babysitter than a teacher excuse me you're i nothing no one more what did you say i want to hear you say it again babysitter than a teacher because i'm a celebrity stylist dude what the hell's wrong with you i'm insecure as hell right you're right yeah that's not an excuse you've been nothing i've been trying to get invested in your life i love you and we were so close but i don't i don't feel comfortable with you talking to me like this and treating me this way if this is how you're gonna be the rest of the time then i'm gonna head out because i'll be different i'll be honest you'll be honest you can be honest were you not being honest before i'm not working with clara

is that the only thing you weren't honest about i didn't work with jeremy allen white i worked with jeremy allen who ended up just sort of being an independent contractor at vice which is still kind of cool but he's not a celebrity i shan't be working with daniel day kim i shan't be working with anyone like him um i've just been pretty much buying clothes for people like have you been styling people i wish so then what did you do with jeremy allen you said you worked with him i just like he had a couple outfit ideas from his closet and i helped him pick one out he didn't even go with the one i suggested and so to hear you being like a kindergarten teacher fulfilling like helping our youth well you actually i didn't i only said one of those things because you didn't even let me finish before you started rolling your eyes i'm just so worried that when i talk people don't think i'm important don't that's not what

you should be worried about when you speak what should i be worried about what you should be worrying about being an asshole you're an asshole when you talk and you haven't always been that way actually was really it really caught me off guard you are normally just like so warm and so you're you freely give your attention and your time to others and and you care and so that like you not being important was never an issue. And it still isn't. It's you being a dick. Which is better? Which is better? Being important or being a dick? Which is better?

Or the question, which is better? The question. Okay. When I leave my job, like because I'm a kindergarten teacher, right? Right. I leave my work at the door. So I don't want to come to the bar and be a teacher to you. my job like because i'm a kindergarten teacher right right i leave my work at the door so i

don't want to come to the bar and be a teacher to you and telling you which is better to be nice or be mean which is essentially what you're asking me and that feels like a question that one of my kindergartners would ask if that that would be great actually could i sit in on a class you cannot um sit in on a kindergarten class no cut. Cut to the next day, her at work. He walks in anyways. Hey, Mrs. Jins. Hello. Hey, everybody.

Hey, kids. This is my friend Jeremy. And you know what? Can you guys all take out a book and do some silent reading time? I'm gonna talk to my friend in the hallway for one second, okay, everyone? In the hall. What are you doing here?

I told you that you weren't allowed to come and sit in on a class. You didn't say that. You said I couldn't come to sit. You said I couldn't sit in class. I thought that was just a rule. I'll stand as long as I'm here. So I think you need to learn a lot about context

sit in class you can't sit in on a class you didn't say that well you didn't let me finish so listen obviously i can't let you in the room excuse me um i there's something there's a book on the shelf that i can't really reach and do you think you could come help me? What book is it? Oh, no, you don't, I can help you. No, he's pretty tall, a lot taller than you. What are you, five, five, five? Five, four and a half.

Right, so he, I think, could reach it better. What's the book? The book is Peter Rabbit. Oh, that's a classic uh although you're you're six right you should be able to read that by now um it wasn't no he was saying could you get the book for him it's a little kayla is there like an like a dumb track a what like do they start them on different tracks in kindergarten where there's like the you know the achievers the overachievers the average people and then the kind of dumbos uh you should

probably put down to that leon go back in class okay um listen you need to go you need to go and i actually i'm gonna put up a really hard boundary with you that i think we cannot be we cannot be in contact for a couple months you need to figure some stuff out. Okay. Well, you know what? No skin off my back, because that's where I'm going after this. Where? I'm going to style James Baldwin.

Baldwin? Baldwin. Who's that? He's like an independent contractor at BuzzFeed, which is still kind of cool, but he's not a celebrity. Stop qualifying people based on how cool they are, okay? You're going to style someone. It doesn't matter if they're a giant celebrity or not.

You're doing what you want to do. What, so you're just saying I should be a stylist? Yes. You don't have to be a celebrity stylist to be a stylist. I really never thought of that. Go get a job at Nordstrom. You can be a personal shopper. Don't interrupt me.

Don't point at me. You're a great teacher. I know. I know I'm a really good teacher. Yes. You should be a college counselor. Not like a babysitter. Oh my God, get out of here. You're a nanny. Yeah, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm a really good teacher. Yes. You should be a college counselor. Not like a babysitter. Oh my God.

Get out of here. Yeah, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Crashes his car. All the kids watching in the window.

Ooh. All right. Should we do our last segment? Yeah. This took me all week. Amari Amari I'm talking Averna Nonino Montenegro

Remozotti What? Vecchio del capo uh those are my favorites so far also uh maletti maletti's pretty good i'm talking about italian aperitifs also known as amari uh this is my new drink of choice whiskey is boring and sour to me when i go to a bar i want an aperitif when i'm at dinner i'm gonna have one either before or after the meal i'm gonna have it with an espresso uh and this is sort of my bag now you're italian now i still have honestly a general distaste towards italian people in their culture uh but amari might be the key to the door what do you feel about what do you how do you feel about aperol aperol spritz even uh aperol

is good i like an aperol spritz if it's the summer and i'm outside but in general i like the more herbaceous bitter thangs you like campari uh campari is good i i boulevardier has been my cocktail of choice for a while now which is just bourbon campari and sweet vermouth but uh this is more drinking amari straight i'm italian you're not i am no you're not i literally am you should tan easier if you're italian you'd think so right well i'm mostly i thought you were 100 irish i am 89 irish okay so you're not italian i have my dad my dad's mom is italian okay so you're 11 italian and i'm ital Italian. I'm Irish. Irish, capital I, Irish. Right. A bit Italian and a bit German.

Okay. But I'm Irish. But my dad is very olive skinned. He tans like that. That's true. And so is my sister. He's sort of zaddy in a way. My sister is also very olive skinned.

He's grandpa. I got none of that. I got alabaster. Yeah, you got porcelain. I got alabaster. Yeah, you got porcelain. I got porcelain. You got printer paper. Yeah, she's holding literal printer paper to her skin, and I would say it's only two shades off.

So there's that. What's been shaking me, I should have said this on the last one um we were nominated for a people's choice podcast we were which is crazy people can vote at podcastawards.com i believe yes um so vote for our ass we could take home some fucking gold so um i don't know how we even got nominated for that. I don't know what that process is. I think HeadGum put us up for it. Which is crazy.

And a lot of HeadGum shows are nominated. So, I mean, I don't know when the voting closes. I don't know. We should have done this on the last one. But if it's still open, you can vote for so many head gum shows that are nominated um what is crazy to me is that we're on the same list for best comedy as fucking dough boys like yeah so we're not gonna get it actually don't even waste your time no we're not gonna get it but that's what i'm saying is that it's crazy is that there's 16 there's 16 comedies

nominated out of so many podcasts it's crazy and we're up there with doughboys and we have like five listeners and so that's really really exciting um i told my parents and my parents thought it was a literal like people's choice award and i'm like no it really is not i can't stress to you that it is not that uh but still very exciting still very exciting first award nomination which is so cool um and it seems legit otherwise i don't think head game would have exactly right so yeah so very like truly it is like it was like legit honor to be nominated situation because that's that's really really cool um so it's fucking awesome yeah that's that shook me it shook me it just grabbed me And shook me And it fucking shook me It fucking throttled me

Kidding me Should we thank some Oh well actually Sorry before we do that You can find Jeffrey Jeffrey James On Instagram At Jeffrey James

On Twitter At JeffBoyRD You can find the show Reddit R slash review review Instagram Review review Twitter and Riley

on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter Riley Coyote let's thank the podcast finally God underscore Christian side hug so he can hug two people simultaneously agent Michael scarn a co is literally begging

for Jeff's forgiveness she is so sorry for everything please Please forgive her. Ako wants to apologize to herself for all the hate, vitriol, and outright poison she's allowed to be slung her way by haters. Chuh-huck. Cosmo to the power of infinity. Dakota just got suspended without pay,

pending investigation. So let's see how long you write out this Patreon subscription, buddy. Fancy Octopus. Freya. Jeff Puff. Jeffrey Jamester. Pop. Poppets.

Kinder Surprise. Eggo. Waffle. Flew over the cuckoo's nest. Smart thermostat device news. Hallie the Horribly. Oh, Gray's ghosted. That's right.

He's supposed to go on a date tomorrow and he's not received a text back for nearly 48 hours. Hallie the Horribly Awesome is Gray's twin and is That's right. He's supposed to go on a date tomorrow, and he's not received a text back for nearly 48 hours. Hallie, the horribly awesome, is Gray's twin and is now employed. Happy birthday, Jeff. Use code Jeff for 20% off your ball dope. Hey, Jeff, could you please have anyone from HeyRiddleRiddle on the Headcumbo hot task, please? I eat spaghetti and heat balls.

It's like spaghetti and meatballs, but instead of noodles, I eat the sun. I sincerely would like to apologize for the wolf, the epic wolf. I Venmoed Jeff my rent money for this subscription, and would really appreciate it if you could send it back. Thanks. Jake Lemon. Jay is actually in the U.S. for a bit now, and the whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jesse Tipton.

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Come say it to my face at Smokin' Time on Main Island. Pete Skeet Skeet Bradford. Quack. Raven Schmaven. Reese Alpine What the Fuck Bergman. Seen as Bob Buell having a Malibu Bay breeze, but dropped the cranberry juice behind his computer. Oh, poo. Seen as finding out you're not the core four.

Oh, poo. Scene is Jeff getting ankles waxed. Oh, poo. Scene is you getting caught by McConaughey for not knowing how to play soccer. Oh, poo. Scene is you pay $20 to talk to your favorite podcasters, but they have rehearsals or some shit. Say it. Oh, poo.

Thank you Scene is you were gonna show off your new tattoo But your boyfriend told you they hate tattoos Oh poo Scene is you're eating a salad with a dear friend And accidentally cum in your pants Oh poo Oh sorry I forgot one

Scene is there's a black fly in your chardonnay Then a death row part in two minutes too late Oh poo Scene is you got high on mushrooms and broke your hand punching a microwave. Oh, poo. Sorry, did we do the theme song? Scene as your theme song is lying patiently. I'm not seeing that.

Okay, sorry, Daniel. Scene as your theme song is lying patiently in Jeff's box, email in or otherwise. Oh, poo. Seen as you lost a patient after a 12-hour surgery and it absolutely is your fault. Oh, poo. Smooth Pete and the slammed gashes. That's so granny. So what?

Is this like a job now? You're telling me I have to update my name more than once a year? This is so fun. Every time I read one of these out, it's like, bing, another $20 from one of these dumb C words. Cunts. TJ Michael. Thank you guys so fun. Every time I read one of these out, it's like, Bing! Another $20 from one of these dumb C words. Cunts. TJ Michael. Thank you guys so much. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. If you want to subscribe at the highest tier and be there for the hyper Zoom party.

Oh my God. We have to plan that. Soon after this episode. And if not, we'll see you guys again next week. Arrivederci. That was a Hitiddem Original.