Review Revue - Saran Wrap

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

This week on Review Revue; Geoff and Reilly cover their mouths with SARAN WRAP and discover that not everyone was meant to improv commercial lines, experience the inability to let go of the past, and rewrite some tests in their favor.    IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee     Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a HeadGum Original. Oh, it's a god-awful podcast show By some people you barely know And they do improv about reviews Cause what else are they supposed to do? Lace-up pointers and turkey trots Yes, by God, they've reviewed it all. But the show isn't sad and in poor.

The unfortunate truth is Riley and Jeffrey's got a podcast. Oh, man, look at those cavemen go. It's a review, review show. And I just want to review. It's a review, review show. You win. No one ever send in any other song submission ever again because it'll never be good. That was really good. It's what we just heard. That was the best.

Well, I'm sorry, but that was the most beautiful theme song I've ever heard. That's the best song I've ever heard in my life. Not even just theme songs. That's the best song that has ever been and ever will be. Yes. And it was an original i think i don't think so no really yeah it was a parody a cover of life on mars by david bowie no because i've heard that song and he didn't say Review Review. Right. No, that's right. Okay. But it was the tune, the melody, the harmony of Life on Mars by David Bowie.

But he changed the lyrics. Because no, David Bowie does not say Riley Antoine and Jeffrey James have a podcast in the song Life on Mars. No, that's what I'm saying. He never said that. I'm agreeing with you. He never said that. No, he definitely never said that. I wish he did.. He never said that. No, he definitely never said that. I wish he did. We're saying the same thing.

We're saying the same thing. Kind of. That came in from Victor and he just wants to shout out his brother Oscar Edzio. I really hope I'm saying that right. Edzio. Edzio?

E-D-S-G-O with the two dots over the O. That was incredible. That was amazing. I love me some Bowie. So that was good to have. Yeah. Yeah.

Can you just do me a favor? Because I know that you talk about dogs you want to adopt. And I know you're probably going to have multiple dogs for the rest of your life. Can you just not name any of them Bowie? One of my first dogs was named Bowie because he had a brown eye and a blue eye. Yes. That's every dog named Bowie. Yes.

That's why it bothers me. And so that was when I was a kid. So I've already had a dog named Bow that's why it bothers me and so that well that was that was when i was a kid so i've already had a dog named bowie yes so you got okay good that's the perfect timing to have a dog named bowie yeah so um we're we're done with that i did i think no let's keep doing it what let's keep let's keep oh wait no i thought you meant the subject of dogs oh no no i meant we're done with the name bowie and then i thought you'd be like actually never mind name all of them bowie yeah actually forget what i said i'm starting to come around to the little fucker jeffrey how are you on this thursday of all days i'm almost caught up on sleep you're a tired boy i can feel it in my bones i uh

it's a bone stay by the way on thursday november 4th what's that sorry it is a bones day for anyone who cares about that is it bones what's bones day bones day today is a bones day if you go on tiktok noodle the pug um every day his owner he's a 13 year old pug and he will lift him up i can't believe i'm explaining this to you he will lift lift it. He's like, hi, welcome to Bones or No Bones where you find out if my 13 year old pug noodle wakes up with bones. And so it's like this really old pug in his bed. And so he'll try and lift him up.

And he like, if he kind of like holds himself up for a couple of seconds, then it's a bones day. And then if he doesn't, then it's a no bones day. So today's a bones day on Thursday, November 4th. But anyway, sorry. So you're catching up on sleep. I'm catching up on sleep. I didn't sleep more than six hours a night on any of the nights that I was in New York for two weeks.

And then we went to Kansas City and shot that short film. And I got one night of good sleep there. And then it was Halloween weekend. Saturday I slept five hours and then Sunday I didn't sleep at all. And then this week has been just trying to get eight hours or more. And last night I went to bed at 10 and woke up at 830. So pretty solid. Yeah.

But you know, when you're like running on adrenaline and you don't even like, you know, you're tired, but you're still able to do everything. Yes. Now I'm not on adrenaline. And so it's a big crash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel it. I get that.

It's like your body is like, I know we got to keep going. So we're just going to keep doing it. And then once you have nothing else to do, it's like, and we're done. We're done. We're shutting down and we're not doing anything else ever again. Yeah. But I think tomorrow is going to be the day. If I get a good night's sleep tonight, whoo, unstoppable.

What are you going to do tomorrow? You said tomorrow is going to be the day. Do you have big plans? Just to feel rested would be nice. I'm getting dinner with George. Oh, that's big. It all rides on this one dinner at Sasson. It all rides on you and George getting

a feast. Some kind of bountiful harvest. Because it is the, isn't it the harvest? It is the harvest. Not enough people are talking about that. No, I honestly haven't heard enough people talking about the harvest. Yeah. What's new with you?

What's new with me? Mm-hmm. Oh, Jesus. So, well, when this comes out, this will have passed. um so we've had our foster dog romeo for about three weeks and um tomorrow one of our friends is coming to pick him up because they met the other week and they fell in love with each other and so um he might adopt the little rascal and so they're starting a foster to adopt trial starting tomorrow and so i really hope it works out but so today's our last full day with

him and i'm really gonna miss him he's so amazing oh he does this new thing now we call it him watching tv because he'll just sit out he loves a window he loves watching just outside even if there's nothing going on he just loves sitting at the window and staring outside and so we call it um he's watching tv and so he'll just he'll sit at the window for like hours and just watch. That's nice. And then this morning I look I was like calling him to get his breakfast and he looks over his shoulder. He didn't even come at first. He looked over his shoulder at me with a look that was like

you're interrupting my TV time. Like I was like come out and then he was just like I mean this is not good for audio kind of but he was like Yeah. No but I think people can imagine the look I'm like oh yeah

no you it'll be here when you want it um so it's been great um but we have hair like clumps of his hair all over the house and so we're just waiting till he's gone to vacuum it because we're like there's no point in just doing it and then not um so that's gonna be but speaking of like the harvest speaking of bounty

we are speaking of bounty is such a funny sentence we're entering the holiday season we are entering the holiday season there's gonna be a lot of food a lot of family time a lot of friend time a lot of cooking a lot of eating a, a lot of cooking, a lot of eating, a lot of leftovers. If you make a little too much and not everyone has enough as much as you think they would, or maybe they didn't like it. So they're just being polite. They're like, oh, no, I'm full. I'm full.

But they really weren't. They just thought. They go home and order pizza. They go home and order pizza because what you made was under seasoned. So that's why we're talking about saran wrap and jeffrey you suggested this topic today thoughts feelings questions concerns about saran wrap any beef you have with it or the only beef i have with it is the beef in it yeah i think it's just a really funny brand name. It's phonetically hilarious to me. Saran Wrap.

It's the most Midwest thing that I can say. Saran Wrap? Saran Wrap. Thanksgiving really do be approaching. I guess. No, it really is. And I'm like, how are we going to house the leftovers in the fridge? How are we going to do it? And I had to think, Saran about saran saran so it's

and i'm hungry for that's really good saran saran i mean listen my gripe with saran wrap and any kind of just like plastic wrap in general is it's so hard to not have it stick to itself what hard to resist no hard to have it stick to itself is those were the words i was searching for what i said but you said um yeah it is frustrating but i think saran is better than glad cling wrap well i got i i took saran wrap as like just kind of plastic wrap in general so i do have some for saran wrap and i do have some for uh glad cling wrap but i listen if i had it my way if i had it my way it would be aluminum foil all day can i just say that this is yeah this is like probably the most boring conversation we've ever had.

I told George that, he was like, oh, what's the topic for today? I said saran wrap. And he was like, and is that good for, is that good for the show? Like, I was like, yeah, I chose it. So if it goes poorly, it's only my fault. No, it's just to hear, like, birds at you must be like, saran wrap is pretty crazy. But if I had it my way, aluminum foil. Yeah.

I mean, how are you going to start? I was like, what the fuck are we doing? What are we doing? It's come to this. It really has. We try and keep it topical to like the time that we're in. And it only feels fitting that it's November. So we're talking about plastic wrap.

When we were texting last night about the show, I was on the brink of falling asleep. I was so tired. And then I saw your name pop up on my thing. And I was like, oh, yeah, we have to settle on a time. Like, we have to confirm the topic. And you sent, you basically did that. You said topic and time. And I was like, that's great.

And then fell asleep immediately after I pressed send. So you didn't even have time to kind of like think on your sins in a way. What's that? Think on your syrenes raps do you want to start us off with our first yes let's do it this uh is a five star review of saran rap and this comes in from i just want to kind of use their name because their username because it's happy man hi i'm happy happy man five stars okay of course the title is good stuff if you can't be there will be a good tasty plate for you that's the title that's the title my man likes this it's good quality works good

wanted to show i really listen happy i did good stuff got the dozen i just liked if you can't be there will be a good tasty plate for you hey uh darren i know that we got a couple clean takes of the original script but i'm wondering if we maybe toss some alts out for you yeah yeah absolutely absolutely i love just getting to play like you guys are the best that's why i love coming to this agency you guys are awesome yeah we try to have fun we try to keep it loose uh it's hard with this one because it is saran wrap so it's like how do you make that fun uh-huh um but we do want you to make it your own so why don't we do one where you make it your own and then we'll give you some notes on top of that okay okay sorry can you just give me the copy one more time? And just so I can kind of riff off of that.

Yeah. So it's basically Saran Wrap. When you need that seal just so, go with the cling wrap that everyone knows. Saran Wrap. Yeah. Oh God. It's longer than I remembered. Saran Wrap.

When you need that seal just so, go with the cling wrap. Everyone knows Saran Wrap. Okay. Yes. And action. Saran Wrap. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. And action. Saran Wrap. If, when you need that clean, that sealy stuff, put it on a plate and you'll have enough Saran Wrap. Cut.

Sorry. Yeah. It's, that was, that was, that was, that was um i'm open to any notes like i'm no yeah and like i'm so ready to just just throw whatever you want at me yeah and you we can't stress enough how much you killed it in the audition you did your improv skills got you this job um so just just shake it off just shake it off because i think you might be a little nervous oh yeah i guess it's just like you know first take dinners all right all right yeah all right and then let's go to the next one uh action and again just play with it saran guess it's just like, you know, first take jitters. All right. All right. Yeah. All right. And then let's go to the next one.

Action. And again, just play with it. Saran wrap. It's the stuff that you put on a mouth in your plate. Ah, sorry. No, that one I know. We cannot put any emphasis on saran wrap over someone's mouth because that's a means of suffocation.

That one I did. That was just, that was a little like Freudian slip. All right. Oh my God. Wow. All right. Let's just roll again. That was just, that was a little like Freudian slip. All right. Oh my God. Wow. All right, let's just roll again. Let's just roll again. We didn't do a backdraft.

Let's just roll again. Action, action. Saran wrap. It's that time of year when everyone wants a beer, but you know what everyone needs? Saran wrap on a plate in the fridge. Ass. Saran wrap.

Santa. You cannot say ass. You cannot swear on national tv i'm so sorry you're starting to like you guys would like bleep that out i'm so sorry about that that's my bad we don't want to have to because then it's gonna be listen we we again we got the clean take of what we needed the copy yeah so i'm just playing get the the seal just so with the clean wrap everyone knows let's do it let's just keep i think we can get a fun one let's do this i'm having fun are you guys not having fun we're starting to get stressed here's what we'll do you you just it's it's the day after thanksgiving right you have leftovers in the fridge

just as fresh as last night because you used saran. Yes. Yes. Okay. Tasty. That yummy, slimy turkey stuff. Good thing I put plastic over my food so it stayed fresh for me and me alone. If anyone else tries to eat this, banish it from my home. Saran wrap. Put it over your mouth. Cut.

Obviously. Again with the mouth mouth we will get sued i was thinking about food i was thinking about putting the food in my mouth i can't wait to eat that yes but when you eat leftovers with cling wrap you don't eat the cling wrap right i mean i think we all know that you don't eat saran wrap for breakfast lunch and dinner it's the best meal time for me anytime nutrients galore if not you're a bore saran wrap fuck glade cut we'll just you're fired but if you guys no no no no, no, no, no, no, no. Just let me have one more try. You're fired. I promise.

No, I'll make it up to you. It's going to be the best take you ever heard in your life. We already got what we needed, but fine. Just keep rolling. Keep rolling. You don't have to listen to her. Here we go. Action.

Saran Wrap. For those times a year when you just don't know if it's going to be safe to eat or not, put plastic on it i really did try and do a good that time and i just got over excited keep rolling keep what do you mean you really did so the last couple texts it takes you a nap and trying action saran wrap for the holiday season when you make a little too much put it on it got it cut so the pen on the penultimate one you just did said that if you're not sure if leftovers have spoiled that it'll all be fine if you wrap it in saran and eat it all because it's even if it hadn't spoiled you're gonna get sick now we'll use the take we got from you earlier we need to you need to see what kind

of benefits sag has because i think that you are getting some kind of chlorine poisoning from the saran saran wrap it's the brand everyone knows and for a good reason put it on a plate and not in the microwave sar Saran wrap. Cut. All right. That was amazing. That was amazing. Can we, just one thing, can we crop out the fact that she flipped us all off as she did that?

Got it. All right. We're good. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming in. That's a wrap. That's a picture wrap on Francia. That's a saran wrap. Oh, that's really good.

All right. Should we take a quick break? Yeah. That's really good. All right, should we take a quick break? Und wir back. Und wir back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.

Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. Back. That happens in September. Guess who's done. Did you do anything for Oktoberfest? Did I do anything? My voice was shaking when I asked you that.

I really needed you to have done something. It's like you're being yelled at gunpoint. Did you do anything for Oktoberfest? This is for Saran Wrap. This is for Saran Wrap. So don't get it twisted. The Saran Wrap or the story. It's one star, unfortunately,rew z oh my god let's go

andrew z how's that spelled it's spelled like you're falling asleep like you're texting someone andrew z One star. The title is worst cling wrap I have ever used. And again, this is for saran wrap. Yeah. It does not stick to dish as well. The only thing it sticks to well is itself.

So, well, that on the first roll of three, I simply tossed it into the garbage because I couldn't find the end to start unrolling. The next one I was able to, but it doesn't cling well. Sorry. The next one I was able to, but it does not cling well at all to dishes. When this roll was used up, I started the third roll. And this roll, again, I could not find the end of it to start unrolling. I tried and tried. It was my last roll, so I couldn't toss it into the trash and try another. I finally resorted to slicing it with a sharp knife and started to

unroll it from the slice. This was very difficult because for as deep as the slice goes, the wrap just pulls off. You have to keep unrolling it till you get past the slice line. So after about 15 minutes of effort, I was able to then get enough off to cover a measuring cup, which again, it did not cling to well. They need to reverse the formula because it should stick to dishes and not itself. But under the current formula, it sticks to itself

but not dishes. Off to find a different brand. Jones, who's your friend? At Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, this is my, he was my college roommate. This is Andrew. Hey, Andrew.

Hey. That was a lot about Saran Wrap. Well, I mean, it's just like I wanted to be here on time and I wanted to bring the stuffing but I mean it's like it just became a whole debacle and so I feel so bad I feel like I've let everybody I feel like I like I feel like I've ruined the day and I'm just I'm just so sorry no you're good you're good and and and you know uh Jones told me that you you just went through this breakup so we're uh we don't know you but we're're all here for you. That's what Thanksgiving is all about. Yeah. Thanks. I mean, listen, I've been trying to forget about it. So it really means a lot that I could come and celebrate Thanksgiving with,

with your family and your friends, Jones. Yeah. Yeah, man. Of course. Like, no worries. I mean, you know, I know college was, was some time ago, but you know, once a college roommate, always a college roommate, right? Yeah right yeah yeah i do i do i guess it is that way i guess it is that way i'm i'm so sorry again i mean i just i can't stop thinking about have you guys ever dealt with this with saran what did you use to cover your dishes was that was that was that cling wrap was that glade cling wrap was that the saran wrap i can't help but looking at that no i brought i brought it in tupperware tupperware oh my god you're the ideas guy i bet you're the ideas guy this group god not me not old andrew z

i use the gosh darn cling wrap again well tupperware i bet that's really nice yeah hey man we can move on it's okay it's okay we're here you could just like crack open a beer do you have trouble moving on do i have trouble moving What kind of question is that, man? I thought we were here to talk about getting to know each other and having good times. No, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get to know you a little bit. All you've talked about since you got here was Saran Wrap. We've been trying to kind of shepherd the conversation away from that. I'm wondering how that might manifest in the rest of your life I'm trying to get to know you

yeah I can't really think about another time where I couldn't it just doesn't mean that's why this is so crazy because this is so unlike me cut to him in college

with Jones they're at Tufts he's wearing a harvard sweatshirt hey um why i mean it's like you can't help but wonder if my sat scores were different you can't help but wonder if it's like oh i mean like they know i had reading comprehension dude i know but we're juniors like we've been here this is our, I mean, like they know I had radiocopter. Dude, I know, but we're juniors. Like we've been here, this is our third year here. And like, I know you really wanted to go,

but like you've at some point, you just got to move on. No, I am moved on. I am moved on. I just want people to know that I don't think it was necessarily about my scores. I think it's like they had a vendetta

against my essay. I think it was my essay that was, what did it? Well, what was- Cut to them at a gas station. It's like a group of friends. They're all doing scratchers. Oh, I guess we didn't win anything. Oh, whatever. It was just five bucks. Oh my God. This is, I mean, this is all, this is just the

way, you know what? I think we should go get a refund on this. I think we should actually get a, we should absolutely actually get a refund on this. I think let's go back in there. No, I think they said final sale. Let's just go to dinner. Cut to them at dinner. I'm scratching the label off of a beer bottle with my fingernail. No, and then I told her we had such a good time, and I really felt connected to her.

Whoa, look at that. Not a winner again. had such a good time and i like really felt connected to her and um whoa look at that not a winner again what's that oh and look it's just i'm doing another scratch and i got scratch zero so i there's nothing here it's just so classic cut to him in the car with a friend and then then I was just like, oh! They almost get in a car accident, but he narrowly avoids it. Oh, thank god. Sorry about that. Just staring at you. It was one of the

hardest times of my life, really. I take the steering wheel, and I jolt it a little bit. What the hell was that? Whoa! Whoa! Oh, now you know how I feel. Now you know how I feel. So if you just keep your butter fingers from slipping off the wheel we wouldn't so now now how am i supposed to feel safe driving with you how am i supposed to feel safe driving the rest of the time how am i supposed

to feel safe what do you want me to do i'm sorry they pulled out ahead of me they cut me off let me drive this is crazy let me drive you want me to pull over so you can drive? Well, I mean, literally, if we don't do that, I don't know how I'm going to feel safe in the car. I don't know how I'm going to feel safe in the car because you clearly are reckless. And I just think, or I'll walk, or I'll walk. And how would you feel about that?

Cut to them years later at an arcade. They're all having fun in a group. They sit down to play like Mario Kart or something like, all right, two quarters, here we go. Are you sure you want to do that man what do you mean are you sure you feel like you're a competent enough driver to be safe on the road are you kidding me everyone's like what what's going on are you absolutely kidding me oh do your buddies not know what happened in 2008 it was such such a small thing. You're still hanging on to this. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. Devin almost got No, no, no, Devin. You stay. I just want to make sure that you're not not. I want to watch you drive safe because if you girlfriend Andrew's girlfriend comes up. Honey, I think we I think we need to talk. Well, I'm

giving a talking to De Devon over here. That's part of it. Part of what? Come back, thanks for hearing. Right. Right. Yes, right. You said you couldn't think of an example.

You listed seven. But all of that, all of that, none of that was my fault necessarily, and I don't think how anyone could let any of an example. You listed seven. But all of that, all of that, none of that was my fault necessarily. And I don't think how anyone could let any of that go. Because those are pretty big life events. Do you not agree? Another person comes from the kitchen. Andrew, we didn't have the cab.

I thought we did, but I guess we drank it. Merlot is fine. I poured it. You told me that you had the cab, though, is the thing. Like, I asked him, like, oh, do you have a cab though, is the thing. Like I asked him like, oh, do you have a cab? Cause that would pair actually the best with the turkey that I brought

and the stuffing. And I provided both of those things, by the way. I provided two of the main staples of the meal and you said we for sure have a cab. So you don't have a cab. Alexandra made everything else. You did the two kind of easiest things to do.

Easiest things. Wow. First the cab. Now the turkey is the easiest part of the things to do easiest things wow first the cab now the turkey is the easiest part of the meal to make you know what i appreciate you inviting me here i really do but i can't help but feel that that that the night would be much less sour if jones weren't here jones What are you talking about, Jones? Jones is a joy.

You came in here with poison in mind and in hand. With poison in mind and in hand? Well, I don't think this is poison. All the turkeys wrapped in saran individually. That's the chlorine one. Well, people on the ads are telling me to put it in my mouth. This is literally what it's been advertised to do. Should we do another review?

Fuck it. Why not? We're here. I have one, but it's not top notch. Do you want to do the next one? It's not top notch. People in the ads are telling me to eat saran. So I am.

Okay. Now this. Now this, now this is for glad present seal. And I know it's not saran wrap, but in my mind I'm like, oh, it's plastic wrap. But here we go.

It's five stars from, from H Shearer. Can you give a first name for H Shearer? Having had. Is that all one word? It's hyphenated first. Having had Shearer. The title is, if cling wrap makes you mad, try this instead.

Whoever invented press and seal ought to win some sort of major prize. This is the science we need, folks. I'll never use cling wrap again. I use press and seal for all sorts of things and not just food. Need a package for foam earplugs? Wrap a pair in press and seal.

Need an individual serving size of ibuprofen for your bag slash purse? Wrap those puppies in this. Of course it is great for food. Half a raw onion left after cooking dinner? Wrap it in press and seal and it won't stink up your fridge slash kitchen and will remain

fresh for the next day's use. I will admit I am a convert. When I first saw this advertised, lo those many years ago, I thought who the heck needs this? Scoff, scoff. Turns out I do. Bonus, we've cut down on our consumption of tinfoil since forgetting to use this, so that seems to be a good thing i think warning these boxes of press and seal are larger

than the boxes i see at the grocery store not longer but fatter it can be a bit fiddly in terms of getting them into our kitchen drawer especially since they share space with parchment paper and tinfoil low those many years ago it feels like a snake oil salesman of like this ridiculous thing use this this yeah or like billy mays yes billy mays remember him yes all right timmy here we go your first science fair for sixth grade i am so. You know, I love having you in my class, and I cannot wait to see the project that you came up with today. Why don't you tell me and Mr. Robertson about what you got? I made a saran.

A saran. Writing down saran. Now, can you elaborate on that a little bit more? Ever had cling wrap that didn't make you so glad? Wrap that didn't cling to the pan, the plate, or the ham? Introducing. Two points. Introducing.

The G wrap. The G wrap. Okay. the g-wrap the g the g-wrap okay now the g-wrap you made this oh sorry so just to be clear just because we are marking down the specifics did you you made this at home can you tell us the chemistry behind this or is this store-bought wrap that you got from kroger it was store-bought but the branding is beyond comprehension unless you're a g got it okay so timmy can i just pull you aside really quick i you know how much i we're not looking to sell yet just yet no okay well thank you really quick? I, you know how much I love- We're not looking to sell just yet. No. Okay. Well, thank you for letting me know.

You know how much I love your attitude, your go-getter entrepreneurial spirit. It's the best part of me. I like, I'm an ideas guy. I'm positive. I think you- I know how to market. I love that you love that. So honey, this is the science for you.

Some of your classmates like Lily, she made a volcano and she has like lava come out of the volcano. And, and Andre, Andre made a cure for the common cold. I don't quite know how he did that, but that is pretty remarkable. And it's some incredible biochemistry. How do you market a cure? Well, again, honey, so the business fair, that's two weeks from now. So the science fair, you know, I love you. I want to give you a good grade, but I see Mr. Robertson tapping his foot. So I'm going to need you to just really, really amp up the science and not so much the marketing behind G-Wrap, the saran wrap for Gs. Okay. Okay.

All right. Go get them. Well, what's going on here? So I don't see any science behind this. I see just more of some bullshit. Sorry. Sorry. I know I can't curse anymore.

Let's get into the science then. In my research, which I had to do because it's the science fair, I found out that Saran Wrap had chlorine in it. And that's why it sticks a little bit better than

Glad Clean Wrap. So what I did, because I couldn't find Saran, was I store-bought GLAAD and dipped it in a pool. Try it out. Wrap it in something. Wrap something in. Well, now that's some interesting science right there, young man. Okay, let me check.

Oh, well, I feel like I- It's soaking wet. It's not sticking to anything. Now, this is interesting. So what do you propose to use this for or on? Anything you need wrapped, if you're a G. Now, I think I'm a little out to date on this lingo. So would I be a G?

I don't think so. I don't think so. To me, can you kind of again i know we're veering off track from science here but i do think it's important that mr robertson knows this okay what what is a g timmy a g is an awesome guy and mr robertson like i know you teach science too but you're not awesome timmy that's what no i'm just saying like for the product for the marketing of it all for the marketing we. Robertson using G-Wrap It's not good for the product

It's not good for the image It's bad optics I'm giving you a D Mr. Robertson come on Timmy is a very bright boy And sure he didn't really do much science at all He dipped cling wrap in a pool But I do think that the spirit Behind this project, that's worth bumping it up a letter grade, is it not?

Mr. Robinson, what if I told you that I had a product just for you? Tell me more. Ever use cling wrap that feels just a little too cool for school? Like G-wrap? Exactly right. ever use cling wrap that feels just a little too cool for school like g-rap exactly right what if you of frankly a nerd would have a rap no no hear him out hear him out introducing nerd rap nerd rap well this seems like it's gonna make fun of me no you're in charge with nerd rap. Nerd rap? Well, this seems like it's gonna make fun of me. No, you're in charge with nerd rap. It's four nerds by a G. Four nerds. Four nerds.

That seems like it kind of cancels out the nerd rap. I'm listening. What does it do? Basically, it's cling wrap dipped in a pool with different packaging than G-Wrap from the makers of G-Wrap, so you know it's good. Mrs. Sanderson, my volcano has not stopped spilling lava

and I've been waiting for you guys to come give me a grade and now everyone's just gathering around watching Timmy put wet wrap on Mr. Robertson? That hardly seems fair. Watch this. Kicks the nerd wrap, puts it over the volcano's spout. It works. Well,

Ms. Sanderson, I'm still standing over here with my cure for the common cold, so if anyone wants to bottle it up and take it home, I don't think that's very nerdy. I think I'm very advanced for my age. The Santa ran rat puts it on his mouth. I'm cured. My congestion is gone. Gone.

Oh, this must be the rap I've seen about on TV. Yes. Yes. Now what's my grade updated to? Your grade? I tear up all the papers. The crowd gasps. There is no grade high enough for science of this caliber.

It's the science we need. It's the science we need. It's the science we need. It's the science we need. Well, Mr. Robinson, listen, I love Timmy very much, but I do think we could give him something more constructive than saying that he defies all grading expectations. No, Mrs. Sanderson, I think he's a special one. This nerd

rap and G-rap, they're ghost places. Cut to Timmy's infomercial five years later okay so i really want um and we saw your work on the other commercial so we just kind of wanted to get you um when you read for it i thought you were perfect uh just kind of this one's for g-rap so make sure you kind of get the g of it all the coolness. Of course. And you know what? I'm so, I'm so excited that you brought me back, you know, so like any kind of rap is very close to my heart.

And so this means so much to me to be able to come back and, and be in the old stomping grounds again. Okay. So the, the copy is the, the line is for the kind of rap cool guys need reach first G rap with your, with your, uh, with your knees for the kind. Okay.

I got it. I got it. I don't even need to say it again. Action. G wrap in your mouth. All you need to know. Obviously that's the take because that works for me those years ago. Thank you so much for coming in. They keep hiring her.

Every saran wrap ad is just put it in your mouth. Alright, should we do our last segment? Oui. This should be all we know. I'm getting another tattoo.

Really? Mm-hmm. Of what? It's a chest piece. No, it's not. It's not? It's a little lemon, a little minimalist lemon. Oh.

Somewhere on my wrist, either here, like on the knuckle, or like here. Because you're a lemon? Because I am a snake oil salesman. No, it's because, I opened my phone to a nude. This is it. Love it. It's because my childhood dog, Max,

wouldn't play with any toys. But if he tossed a lemon across the room, he would jump for joy sprint and play fetch that's really sweet I saw the tattoo first and then I was like wait that reminds me of Max and I also forget about Max sometimes

which makes me really sad sometimes I'll totally forget that we even had him and we had him for like 8 years of my life so it's a little reminder to like remember Max and stay playful. Hey, I like that. Yeah. It's really nice.

Let me know when you want to get the same one. When I want to get a lemon tattoo for your dog, Max. Oh, I also might get a tattoo that's, yes. But I also might get a tattoo that's's friend's girlfriend or ex-girlfriend i i went out with them to zebulon a couple weeks ago and like we hit it off she lives in san francisco so i'd never met her and um she has a really cool sun tattoo and it's like frowning and i was like i don't i don't know this person at all we but we hit it off so well that i'm like what if we got what if i just got the same exact tattoo as you but smiling?

But then that's two smiley faces, so I probably won't do that. But I'm in the market for a couple more. I like the lemon one. I think that's really sweet. Yeah. I think. Do you think I should get it here or on the inside? I don't know.

For some reason, I'm drawn to the outside of the wrist. I think the outside of the wrist. I think it would look better on you. I don't know why. I'm getting I'm drawn to the outside of the wrist. I think the outside of the wrist is the move. I think it would look better on you. I don't know why. I'm trying to think if I would get one for like red. I mean, it'd have to be a bowl, right? It would have to be a bowl. A red bowl and red ink.

It would have to be a bowl. Yeah. But then I would have a tattoo of a bowl on me for the rest of my life. I think that's really funny. My lifeline on my palm is so short so if i'm gonna die by 45 like it supposes i i need to live life to the fullest oh here's my watch i mean speaking of dogs okay so i was out i was playing with romeo yesterday and um we have like a side run like we don't have a yard we have like that side run it's like a

little bit of gravel some concrete and yeah so I was playing fetch with him and we were running back and forth. And there's like a lot, there's a divide where the, like kind of the driveway meets this gravel. And I was running and he was really riled up and he's, he's really fast. And he was just zipping around and i went to go get the ball because it was under some bushes by the concrete and i was running and some of the pebbles like the gravel got onto the concrete and i fully slipped and like ate shit landed on my ass on the concrete and then i cut my hand a little bit um but it like really shocked me and i just i gasped as i was going down and i'm okay i i was just in shock and i was like on the floor and literally from zero to 60

romeo stopped what he was doing he ran over to me put his paws on my leg and then put his head on my shoulder and like was calming down and like was just making sure and then he was like licking my arm and like leaning into me and was just there for like two minutes just standing and like making sure i was okay and it made me cry like not because i was like in pain but i was like so moved by that yeah i'm like that that just felt very special and i just love dogs that's such an, that's such like a nice instinct in a dog. Yeah. He was, and then Elizabeth hurt herself last night too. And he did the same thing to her. Like he's just, he's, he's just wonderful. And I love him. And if it doesn't work out with our friend this next week, like whoever gets him is going to be so lucky. He is such an amazing dog he he is he did start chewing our wall yesterday so

there are teeth marks in the wall um but other than that he's great yeah but how do you chew a wall he attacked it was at the angle so he just kind of like did that and um why is that good to have that gammon set that daniel I have that's been chewed up a couple naughty yeah so that's him getting nauseous that's him getting naughty oh that's really good um should we think some oh well actually sorry before we talk about them you can find Jeffrey James on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at Jeffoyard. You can find the show at Review Review Show on Twitter at Review Review on Instagram r slash Review Review Reddit. And you can follow Riley on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter at Riley Coyote.

Let's thank some of these fuckers. I guess. You know what? Oh, there you go. You know what i'm done reading these actually fuck this joke and fuck growing up connor nope fucking grow up no it's a that's that wasn't me reading the name that was me truly how i feel underscore christian side hugs for chastity aaron aaron coogan adam shea agent michael scott made the pumpkin bread recipe Riley suggested,

and it turned out great. Jeff did nothing. He gets no credit. That's true. That's true. Aggie. A co just doesn't want to fucking talk about it. Oh my God.

Alex Witt. And now a patron who needs no introduction, so moving on. Anthony Amadeo. Bob Buell got photos with Mephri at the HeadGumPod live show, but they're on Jeff's phone and he has not sent them to me, so... Just tell me to send those

to him. I'll send them to the Discord right after this. Brad Donaldson. Brad Hill promises to sneak a review reference into Survivor movie when he makes it on the show. Brian Dodd. Chuck. Chaston Bales. Consider this a formal prom... Consider this a formal promposal to Mr.

Robert Clifton Buell. Is that even Bob's middle name? I hope so. That's a good name. Cullen. Kerbooch. Sure, it's late to the party. Halloween was like two days ago. Damien Kirk has heard good things but is hesitant.

Devin misses Fiona so damn much. Early to bed, early to rise. Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Fancy octopus. Frito, pray love. Gabriel Castaneda. Jeff's fan, van, and fellow frat man, Moe Pete.

Alpha fee until we die, brother. JeffreyJames.com was taken.com was taken.com. Grey Renegade Rider Volt Commando, actually. So awesome. Greg Berg, Chapter 3, Parabellum. That was really, you should do book audio tapes. Book tapes? Tapes?

Books on tape. You okay? Nope. Graham Stopp, GME, new patron. Hey, Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum Podcast, please? Holly. I don't care what anybody says. I don't like

minors. M-I-N-E-R-S. Yeah. I literally only subscribed to force Jeffrey and Riley to say trans rights XOXO. In a very real sense. TR. Isaac Puff. Jack is a hack and I want everyone to know it. Jake Ullman.

Jameson Ponzi's last happy memory is that of the time that Riley was a lemon on Jeff's life. The longer it goes on without you changing it makes it so much sadder. Jeff's papa would be so hungry. Jeff, either give me a hoodie or spell your name correctly. Love, Jack. Jesse Tipton. Jive Gosley. JP again. Vicky Pedretti and lizzie olsen would have been victoria and elizabeth if patreon didn't have a goddamn character limit justin concalves

caleb has lost all of his luster if found please contact him at the number 9-1-1 keelan me wait Keelan me Riley have the same birthday and Jeff I'm from Columbus Ohio is that a new patron new patron uh Lauren Mullane oh my god hold on uh Lord Hunter the ordained that's right I'm ordained. That's right. I'm ordained now. Maggie Anderson. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Begel. Mona Mauer Raquel. Nah, Mona more like Mona Mool. Jeff doesn't know how to pronounce

mon fucking name sent tweet. Musha lasagna. My footy has finally arrived. I can forego my plans to kidnap Jeff and shame him in my basement. Don't threaten me with a good time. Nate Porteus noticed that Jeff's last few tweets utilize the words grundle and pop it.

Jeff, if you ever need to talk, it's fine. No, it's Rory and Davey or Zooey Landle. Nolan Murphy has bounced around Hollywood for days and still hasn't gotten a first look deal with Warner Brothers and that's insane. Orange, you glad it isn't Hallie?

Phoebe. Kwok. Rooster Williams. Slickety doodah rickety day. Why oh why hasn't Buell paid my staff? Soap. Stinky Fulton Sandbrook, aka Tyler. His name stops there.

Also, Daniel cut this out, but fuck that guy. All right, Riley, read the next one. Thank you for using my theme song in the chapstick episode, although I think I got in by default. I don't think they did, actually. I don't think they did. We have a lot of them now, but keep sending them, guys. Appreciate it.

But it wasn't by default. TJ Michael. Warmed beef. Oh. What cluffed through yonder window breaks. Yasmeen David. Thank you guys for subscribing at the highest tier. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff if you guys would like to join the ranks,

uh, but if not, we'll see you guys again next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of review, review. Arrivederci. That was a hit gum original.