Review Revue - Scrub Daddy (w/ Amir Blumenfeld!)

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

This week Geoff and Reilly are joined by Headgum Boss and comedy legend Amir Blumenfeld as they navigate poor communication skills, bad gift giving, and viral marketing.   Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Well, things are shaping up to be pretty chine

We all know that Riley's divine But it feels there's something in the way Jeff is, well, Jeff is a cunt I'm sorry I don't mean to be blunt He's just a source of such dismay And everybody thinks so, everybody thinks so Jeff, you just stink, it's a shame

Amir and Jake hate him Marty berates him Riley, you're the only one to blame Riley, fire Jeffrey If that's okay The show would feel the same Just send him on his way And I say riley fire jeffrey if that's okay this is my favorite song it's just called you a cunt within seconds he calls me the c word word that came in from andrew uh he says andrew pile yeah he says i hope this theme changes hearts

and well minds oh i mean listen i would have been down to fire jeff but then you said it was solely up to me that he was so bad that it's like because i'm the one who tolerates it that it's like well you're to blame for his perpetuates reign of terror yeah um but it was fantastic but what was even more fantastic is watching the face of our special guest what's happening oh let's you know let's roll back the compliments right because he's pretty normal all I said was watching his face was funny yeah normal I'm not normal don't say it I'm built

different normal as in AB normal my initials as in a mere Bloomenfeld normal is this your third time on the show because you we did karaoke and then we did Airport Lounge with you and Jake. Oh yeah. So this is my third time, second solo.

But it's been over two years. Yeah, I think it's first time since the pandemic. And you won a pandemic I think. Or at least you were for their consideration. Yeah, I have a pandigod. So a pandemic, a Grammy, an Oliver Twist award for comments and a yahoo answers

questions message board and a tony that you just won a tony you were in a plane you won you did win a tony i always thought the oliver twist award was for asking for seconds that's good i don't get the reference, but I bet it makes sense. Please, sir, may I have some more? Got it. Amir, we're so happy to have you here. For those of you listening who don't know who Amir is, you don't exist because

you literally wouldn't be listening to this show if you didn't know who Amir was. I don't know. What's new? I have to stop recording on Friday mornings because it's trash day and the trash truck is just wiling right now. It's insane

to watch the arms. If the trash truck is wiling? It's like a dinosaur. It flips it up and throws it down. It's flinging cans hither and thither. They end up horizontal on the street. It is crazy how strong they are. It's so accurate, too.

It's like Godzilla discarding large, unmovable objects. I have such an appreciation for how accurate these guys are with the arm. God, it's loud. I wonder if they have a screen that lines it up. Because when I'm pumping gas, I'm never that lined up. And they have to screen that like lines it up because like when i'm pumping gas i like i'm never that lined up right and they have to be no they just knocked one over really yeah and they just move on if that happens they just move on this is so interesting they got too much to do they have too many cans to slam that's true um i mean what's new with you

no jeff i mean when was the last time youir, when was the last time you slammed cans? When was the last time you slammed cans? Or what's new with you and how are you? You can answer either or both. I've been having a shower situation where the water pressure doesn't stay stable throughout. Fortunately, a handyman was able to come and fix it this morning. But I haven't gotten to enjoy the new shower yet because I hopped on this podcast. So I'm looking forward to. I haven't showered enjoy the new shower yet because I hopped on this podcast. So I'm looking forward to,

I haven't showered in probably three weeks in anticipation. Well, I'm so sorry to hear you. Yeah. Hear that? No. I'm sorry to hear your voice. And so sorry.

So three weeks and your shower only started acting up like five days ago. Yeah. and your shower only started acting up like five days ago? Yeah, but I could feel something was amiss for 17 days on the days. And I said, enough is enough. You felt like something's going to happen. Something's coming. Just flies buzzing around my ear. Your big pen.

Garbage truck tries to pick you up. Come too heavy somehow. Oh, you're so dense. How are you thin and heavy? You know, some people have like a den. Oh, you're so dense. How are you thin and heavy? You know, some people have like a den. Yeah. I have a dense. Meaning?

Meaning there's per capita, the air is heavier in a room. And yeah, on a Zoom. Do you call the living room a den or are you normal? I'm normal. Or are you abnormal? I'm pretty sure having a den is just when you have two living rooms and you need to call the second one something else yeah sitting room yeah shut up for a second i actually really want to want to you invited me here to talk and voice my opinions don't tell me to be quiet to beat the entire purpose of guesting on a fully audio based. I call my living room the parlor.

You don't. And I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm not going to parlor-gize for it. Nice. You hold weekly salons and discuss topics of the day with culturally important people. And of your. In our old place, Daniel called our living room the den and elizabeth and i really

tried to put a stop to that we'd be like we can all go sit in the living room and watch tv and he's like oh yeah i'm playing switch in the den and i'm like i don't know whose house you're in for me i think of den and i think of like it's red and you've got animals mounted on the walls. That's really cool, though. It's not. But, Jeffrey, what's new with you in your den? In my parlor, nothing's changed. My life's the same.

Playing games. Parlor games you know objects of my affection uh i'll sort of play mind games uh not be clear with my intentions you know uh i was uh sort of trying to facilitate an accidental menage where how's that well like three of us show up at a place and we're all like, oh, this is crazy. We all kind of know each other. Maybe something happens. Maybe something fappens. And ultimately, I'm naked and afraid without any, you know, without any companionship.

What about you? I got my hair recolored recently. And so that always makes me feel really good. I got it. I got it cut and colored. Yeah. And we should say for the audio listeners, this is it's very short. It's not.

It's I mean, it's just it's because it because it's a fresh cut and because I have wavy hair when it's cut. It's awkwardly short. No, stop. What also is new is that Daniel Rashid is gone for a month on a job. So you're living alone alone. So you left your house

of three to become a house of two and then he's like, alright, I'm out for a month. And now it's just me. It's crazy. It's just like parties nonstop. I guess it's crazy in the way that it's like what my nightly routine looks like if I'm just having a night alone

is like I'll just have a gimlet and watch two episodes of Barry and like that's a crazy night. Do you find yourself deviating from your normal patterns because somebody's not? I find myself getting out of bed faster. I find myself waking up earlier. Because you're not sucking and fucking before 9 a.m.

No, it's not because I'm sucking and fucking. Everything I say is normal. Your guys' reaction to my shit is not. It's because it's not like cozy. You're like, oh, it's just like five minutes in bed. It's like, okay, well, it's just me in in this cold empty bed and that pillow hasn't been touched and i'm so used to sleeping with him next to me that i actually wake up and find that the other side of the bed hasn't been touched at all like the covers are just like fully as if i made them that morning what about going to sleep going to sleep before i started

dating again so i like falling asleep like two sounds Like I love having like a TV show or a movie playing or a podcast and I fall asleep to it. But then like being with Daniel for years, it's like I actually got used to just sleeping with nothing. So I but weirdly enough, when he's gone, I find that I want to listen to stuff again. I haven't, but it's I don't understand it. But guys, we're not here to talk about my sleeping habits when my boyfriend of four and a half years is gone for a month, right? We're not here to talk about the lonely nights and the lonely days. Why are you laughing?

How long has it been? He left Tuesday. It's a Friday. Yeah, so it's been three days and you're having a mental breakdown. He'll be back at the end of October, early November. We're here to talk about Scrub Daddy. We're not here to talk about your daddy. We're here to talk about Scrub Daddy.

That's really good. Yeah. I was so excited. I fucking love Scrub Daddy. I love Scrub Daddy. Scrub Daddy is, it cleans things amazingly They have such a wide range of products

I love Scrub Mommy If I'm cleaning the shower Cleaning the bathroom What's the difference? Or cleaning steel things So Scrub Daddy is just the scrub side So it's just kind of the coarser side Scrub Mommy has like soft sponge on one side

And the coarse Scrub Daddy texture on the other side. Who is scrub daddy and what does he do? Scrub daddy also. Fuck you guys. They have seasonal scrub daddies. They have Halloween scrub daddy. So it's like right now there are packs coming out. That's like you can get a three pack of like a pumpkin, Frankenstein and ghost.

Then they have like holiday ones. You can get like a polar bear of snowflake. Yeah, I'm here. Let's back it up a little bit. You're using Scrub Daddy like it's a universal situation where I sort of just recently learned about the father of Scrub. I'm sure there are some people listening. They're like, what in the world are you even talking about?

So can you explain what is crazy to me? It's like, it's almost not even worth it. Why? No, it's like almost not even worth explaining. Cause it's like, if you don't know what scrub daddy is,

then you have to go fuck yourself. We should know. Scrub daddy is, I i mean it's a sponge ultimately it is right so what makes it the daddy of scrubs and scrub daddy jeff do you do you want to talk do you want to share about scrub i feel like i'm just getting really heated it has i feel like you might need to take it looks like you haven't slept in days like you know you said he left on tuesday and it's friday but you're exhausted and talking a mile a minute what's in the cup picture a sponge so happy it doesn't get stinky so there's a smiley face cut out of this sponge right that's one of the things you can put cutlery in the mouth spoons coming out of your mouth what it's easier it's like you you put cutlery in the scrub daddy

mouth basically it's like scrub daddy it's like a smiley face it's it's like a sponge that's shaped like a smiley face and has like the eyes or have holes in it and the mouth does as well um under cold water it stays really hard the sponge um and then warm water it makes it super soft so you can get into a bunch of nooks and crannies and it fully like squeezes down agreed um and it smells good for a lot longer yeah than another sponge you can also like shove your fingies in like the eye holes yeah yes yeah do you guys use it to clean dishes or you sort of save it for more specific jobs than that

I save it for like special occasions yeah Jeff fucks the eyes it's obvious now that you sort of made a makeshift flash flashlight with a scrub daddy on a cup what were you saying about how when it's warm it gets soft

yeah Jesus man Amir have you ever used a scrub daddy you know I don't know if I have I have we had some like markings on a wall and I remember Avital

you measuring your height yeah from 2017 on so it didn't change at all but there was like a magic eraser you know those things like are those similar to scrub daddy it's all like specialty sponges and i don't really know what makes them specialty or if it's just a marketing thing i've never used a magic eraser which is like a sponge that disintegrates almost as you use it but it did actually it did actually help get like scuffs off paint without actually destroying the paint so well i mean like obviously i can't speak to scrub daddy and like how it would you know affect paint on walls but i can't and you can't be expected to and like don't let him pressure you no because i mean it's just like when i think of scrub daddy i think of like doing dishes i think of scrub mommy i think of like cleaning the sink cleaning the

bathroom cleaning the shower um so it's just like i don't know i don't know why you bring magic eraser into this one it's like we're talking about scrub daddy and so it's just like this whole world of the point yes but not really beside the point or beside the point in that it's like literally besides the point like kind of close to the point we're not talking about magic racers you talking about you reuse the scrub daddy yeah we have a scrub daddy uh i use it for patent i don't believe you not you jeffir, I don't think you give a fuck. Nice. Oh, nice.

Yeah. But it's no magic eraser, fucker. Sorry, Jeff, so you have a scrub daddy. I've never felt this before, but I feel like I can smell Amir's ass through the zoom. Because you haven't showered in three weeks, and somehow it's traveling electronically. That's cool. I have a scrub daddy for pans and pots and we have a dishwasher now, so I don't need to use it for anything else. But, you know, seeing that smile, it sort of puts one on my face, you know, while I sort of get the grime and eggs off the pan.

Grime and eggs. Have pan. Grime and eggs. Have you been to Wine and Eggs in Atwater? No. Amir? Yeah, it's like that very thin store, right? Where the slime is so tall and impacted. Yeah, it's like that. They just have wine and eggs.

Yeah, so this is slime and eggs on a pan. Should we get into our first review? Why? Yeah. Yes. And eggs. Why and egg? I'll start us off. This is a two-star review of The Scrub Daddy.

And we need a first and last name. The original? This is the original. First and last? Okay. Yeah. Julian and last? Okay. Julian. Then Amir, you hit him with the last name. Jarvis. Julian Jarvis.

Sounds like a rookie prospect. That's pretty cool, right? Seven foot two wingspan. Six foot two. Two stars. The title is My boyfriend seems to love it still though though that's the title he ain't even stretched though uh i watched the shark tank video of this before i bought it he scrubs off some stove grime with ease with just warm water i put some elbow grease into it and scrubbed first with just warm water to see if it was really magic.

Then with hot soapy water, it didn't take off the grime. So disappointing. My boyfriend seems to love it still though, so he can use them. How many stars is this? Two. Got it. though so he can use them how many stars is this two got it so to her it didn't work but she's happy that her boyfriend's happy her boyfriend can't get enough of this shit and it doesn't really do the trick right um yeah i mean honey thank you so much uh this birthday dinner that you threw was amazing i mean like my god so my God, so thoughtful. I can't help

but notice that a lot of the presents you gave me are stuff that you've been talking about wanting. You know, I feel like I've been pretty clear with you about like, you know, there's a really cute iPhone case that I've been looking at or like, oh, like, or do you got a pair of shoes? But it's just kind of a lot of variations of tools and toolboxes and household things that I don't use. Sponge. Sorry? You like sponge. Yeah. yeah um i hate i just don't want to be rude because it's like you know i i love you and it's so thoughtful to even get me any of these things but um you did say like if you don't want

it you can you can exchange it and i don't want this and so i would like to exchange it for something that i would use every day fifty thousand dollar um Cut to her hanging out with her friends. Is he like hung or why are you dating this idiot? He is. No, here's the thing. The sex is mind-blowing. Really? Oh no, it's unbelievable.

And I don't know what happened. He used to talk. Just like normally. Was it like a slow degrade or like well i wish it's like i wish i had seen it coming right it's switch flipped it's like he we went to a dinner party at our friend's place he used this like really nice sponge i guess and then we got home and suddenly it just all turned into like me wants fun and i don't know how to bring it up. Well, why don't you get him the sponge?

It feels like he wants the sponge. No, he got it for me. And I don't want the sponge. And he's still talking like a caveman. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying is like, I feel like I think I just like I need someone else other than me because it's like I feel like he won't change around me. So maybe could you just like come over and I don't just go over for dinner.

No, I can't stand the guy. I'm not going to come over. Cut to them renewing their vows. Elise. Jason. Um, I love you. So thank you. I know you are, uh, Jason.

I, I cherish you and I cherish our life together. And I vow to love you in sickness and in health. And, and every day I choose, I continue to choose. It's beautiful. Jason. Sponge. I give everyone in room $70,000.

To speak highly of Jason. Do you have it like that? I cut you check today for $150,000 each for everyone to go home. $150,000 each for everyone to go home. $150,000 each? Each to speak highly of Jason, to speak highly of Sponge. Jason, billionaire. What say you? Landing in close. So his whole thing is like he either wants you to enjoy the sponges okay or he'll pay you fifty thousand

thousand sorry jason can hear you he thinks that those are the only two options i don't know what sponge you're talking about there aren't any present so i'll take the cash for sure you give drop jason paypal he wire you tomorrow i would ask you how ceremony went what you say jason this is the most words other than sponge i've heard you say in a year well it seems like the exchange of goods here is that you want me to speak highly of you. So I guess I would say, oh, it was a great ceremony. The groom was great. What's that? Sponge, sponge, sponge. We have deal.

Yeah. 150,000. Yeah. Jason, you don't need to do this. Like, people love you. I love you. You don't need to pay people insane amounts of money for them to get to talk highly about you. Like, I'm sorry, Efficient.

Like, I'm not to try and, you know, put a damper on this plan. No, this happens a lot. I just it's like, I just want to make sure that, Jason, you don't feel like you have to make up for something or put something on or pay people to get them to like you Jason give you 12 million dollars this year

true true so another 12 million for your vow to just be sponge. Then you can do whatever you want with life. Do you even love me? Do you even want to be in this marriage?

Sponge, sponge, sponge. you want to be in this marriage sponge sponge uh all right let's take a quick break why ads and we're back true um amir was reading from note cards that entire scene i feel like you were gonna do that no matter what the first thing was yeah i was just gonna sort of only say sponge like a caveman and see where it took us yeah see where it took us. Yeah. See where it took us. Nice. Yiddish for ass. Spankings. Yeah. Floggings. I'm a, you know, a lot of people in LA make their money from vlogging.

I make my money from flogging. Meaning? People will sort of pay me to like slap their ass with different implements and, you know. Okay. You know Flogging Molly, the band? Yeah. I'm in Flogging Molly. Meaning?

Still ska, Irish leaning St. Patrick's Day style. Irish leaning. I'm rolling and I'm filming. You were sort of live streaming the entire thing. I'm rolling and I'm rolling. That's cool.

Riley, do you want to hit us with our next review? So this one was in a sea of, this is also for the original Scrub Daddy, and this one was just in a sea of like people raving about it. Like everyone being like, this thing changed my life. Like it's incredible, like rave reviews. It's five stars. From Lydia L. Lyle. incredible like rave reviews it's five stars um from lydia l lyle lyle crocodile lydia lyle

five stars the title is makes my life a little easier one less thing to think about so many people said this was life-changing i'm not sure if it totally changed my life but it does make things a little more convenient whenever i'm doing sure if it totally changed my life but it does make things a little more convenient whenever i'm doing the dishes and think how am i gonna get this gunk off or how can i reach that part of the cup i know scrub daddy will take care of it so it's nice to know that this is a reliable tool i'm sure i'll find other uses for it as well cut um i know this is like a real people not actors thing but um if you could just be like a little what's that thing uh

sorry I've been hanging out with a different crowd trying to get a little different um trying to get different just we have to focus on the commercial for now but yeah I'm trying to get like awesome because I'm like

over the hill and you know I'm sort of losing my luster for life and stuff so started hanging out with like a younger crowd and trying to pick up the lingo this is actually one of my new buddies Darren he's just going to kind of be shadowing me today oh hi hi Darren

what up what's up and the weird part is that's like kind of a reference for my generation so yeah that's yeah yeah yeah scary movie but they make it cool hey guys darren here just live streaming um my buddy's directing a commercial today if you have any questions for us let us know hit us up otherwise um we'll just be here chilling answering questions he's live streaming while you're making sure that we get all of your uh cues aid as much as possible uh again uh if you're a nine or a ten uh slide into those dms we're throwing a party tonight um but you gotta be approved on instagram so send us that friend request um oh first question from davis in davis california

tells you where they're from how'd you get this commercial gig do you want to answer that one me or me or yeah either one i didn't know i was on the live stream um um uh all right here's one oh have you guys 69 to this year that's pretty funny that's funny yeah whatever thanks i think um sir i i actually i have to be back with my kids i only have the sitter till four um and so i thought this is going to be like an hour-long shoot so i'm happy to take any notes and run with it well we can just do the stream and then like knock out the take afterwards wow she's like all in on the commercial dude no that's what i was saying you're all that's what i was saying you before right like darren you saw i was like you're

all in yeah exactly like just lighten up the sponges will sell themselves they're fucking the scrub daddy like sorry i do what's that darren what is your job what do you do i'm in this vlogging collective called vlogging molly and we just sort of go live um 24 7 okay um oh this here's a question um when was the last time y'all got head that's funny this actually feels really inappropriate because i'm on a job i'm here to upload i mean i'm not even a uh let's take a break from the stream uh we'll let them get back cut to an hour later the EP is on set alright so Alex obviously you know what this is about your buddy

Darren was making extremely inappropriate comments to one of the actors that you hired I love that game no we're not gonna this is the problem he asked her if she was here on a blow job and now he's asking everybody to slap each other's asses he's asking everybody if they're on blow jobs right so it sort of cancels out but it doesn't it's bad to ask anyone that at a way

guys um still streaming just wanted to let you guys know that we're getting some really solid questions coming in and i overheard you also signed an nda to be here so the fact that he's streaming this entire location he's streaming i saw on his stream he was dreaming the copy this is crazy i got 10 000 people in here and they're all saying they're all clamoring that they're gonna buy scrub daddies this is awesome this is like like a sick ass piece of viral marketing. Like they said, it's selling out in every city because of this live stream. I feel like I'm making a huge difference,

but damn, it feels good to be a part of something. I don't know. Maybe I should go into brand marketing or something. I feel like I could actually lend my thoughts and philosophies towards a greater good i mean if we can advertise this much for a sponge what's to say that we can sort of sometimes he gets in this mode where he can't stop streaming like stop what if i were to get paid to tell everyone to go vote holy shit right like suddenly i feel like i'm making a difference in the world and you are okay so then what if what commercials so i'm i'm like furiously writing emails okay so

what what what if what would you do if we were going to pay you let's say ten thousand dollars a stream to tell people to register to vote what would that would you do it sorry alex you're fired for sure what um you have to leave set but darren this is big i'm actually i'm checking the numbers right now for this job they're selling out everywhere i've been taking a look at the contract and it says that unless you actually complete a full day of shooting we don't technically owe you anything we that's right me and the executive producer have been teaming up to turn sets commercial shoots really you set up everything with pre-production and i pretend to be a vlogger trying to change the narrative because he's

speaking as if it's been happening i think that's what he wants to have happen and i'm not not on board he's a piece of shit but he is moving numbers unlike anything I've ever seen there's and now there's 50,000 people watching this fucking chaotic cabal that we're having I mean it doesn't make sense but everyone's talking about it they they're calling me like an agent of chaos but everybody wants to tune in to see what I'll do next

cut to him rocking the vote guys we did it we swung every swing state towards ron desantis our new president thank you guys so much for helping us checking in that live stream watching it out getting the vote out and yes we did rock the vote together me and ron i'm the vice president me and ron i promise we're gonna make a difference in this world thank you so so much to Alex for giving me my first opportunity. I remember this guy, this is before he killed himself, was directing a sponge commercial of all things. God, it feels like yesterday. And I don't know who Alex is, but I'm really ready for this new blow job. Am I right, Darren? Of being the next,

the 47th president of the United States. Oh, Rond, you're a real one for that. Yeah, we Rond the vote. So that's sort of a political commentary about how susceptible most youths are and how we really have to start the outreach now in regards to the 2026 election. And you want to do that as a crossover with our brand, Scrub Daddy. Exactly. So what I imagine is that entire thing playing out over the course of the next four years to turn sales around for not only Scrub Daddy but your candidate.

It's not a And you're imagining all of that happening is that a short film or is that an action that you want to have played out? It's all, this is all one 30 second spot that would play natively on TikTok when you log into the app. Every time you log in?

For the next four years. Listen, we read a lot of scripts and anytime there's like a typo even, I'm like, this person's not a good writer. The content could be great. I'm like, I just won't stand for it. It's kind of a hardened festival that we have. You're trying to overthrow some kind of sell sponges in the process i feel like those two let them talk sorry let them talk you're

trying to make some kind of political commentary and you don't even know when the presidential elections fall so 26 28 when is it 24 28 all right no every yeah every other it's like every other olympics or something no it's every four years since when uh get out of our office yep yeah uh and that's not all we will not validate parking. That's insane. But we will validate this, I guess, court warrant. I have a friend in the DA's office. We'll find some way for you to be arrested. At least we'll send out a cease and desist. Yeah, because I don't like you.

I'm going to take this script over to the Magic Eraser people, and they will buy it in the room so quickly you'll be out of business by the 2025 election. Cut to every American household using magic erasers on pots and pans. That's not going to work. Should we do another review? Yes. I got one short one. It was actually an answer to a question on the web.

Somebody asked about Scrub Daddy. And somebody answered. Question. Does this actually get hard when cold? Answer. Yes, it returns to its original state when completely dry. This is from a user, J-Lo. I love these.

They're a great Valentine gift for all of our grandchildren. I don't think so. Leanne. Leanne, happy Valentine's Day. Talk to your grandfather. Just talk. Say thank you. He's so old.

I don't know how to talk to old people. He's the reason I'm alive and you're the reason that I'm alive. So you guys have that in common. I was going gonna kill myself until you were born just talk to him hi grandpa put down the switch I did I said

hi grandpa and he just keeps saying my name hi grandpa it's Leanne happy valentine's day thanks grandpa you have any flames you have any flames you have any any lovers

I'm 10 just make something up he likes hearing about your fucking boyfriends talk to him I don't have many years left I'd love for you to have some grandchildren do you want me to open the package

open it on the call open it on the call open it okay all right here's the packet oh that's nice there's a lot of like valentine's peanut stickers on there move those aside and get to the meat of the gift i'm admiring the pack dad dad covering the phone dad this is why he talking to grandpa he sucked you have to talk to him you never talk to him because I came out of his dick and you came out of mine just start being fucking polite

I feel like you never talk to grandpa one second I feel like you never talk to him he's my dad you always put the phone to me yes exactly right he loves hearing your voice. Yeah, okay.

I'm back, Grandpa. Sorry, I dropped the phone. Have I ever told you about my favorite pastime? Are you going to talk about bowling again? Your bowling team? No. Reading about oil magnates' dowries. What? Just pretend you know what he's saying let him talk

you don't even have to listen when I was a kid there weren't celebrities there were oil and steel magnates and the coolest thing they could have was a dowry just say thank you now it's all about

Kardashian this. Right? Paris Hiltant's aunt. But no. I thought it'd be cool to send you something on Valentine's and I'm starting to think you don't even like the gift, Leanne. I haven't even opened it because you

started talking about oil tycoons. Dad! Like this is so unfair. Okay, fine. I'll open it. Okay. Thanks, Grandpa. And you'll love it. Thanks for the what?

I don't know why he was talking about oil tycoons. And then a lead into this because it's a sponge. Grandpa sent me a sponge not just any sponge right it's an it's a magic eraser or what is it it's a it's a scrub daddy but it's not even in the packaging he just sent me a loose scrub daddy in a in like a fedex box I'd like to think of it as a scrub granddaddy. Leigh-Anne! What? Grandpa, you keep saying my name! You didn't say your lover's name.

I don't have a lover! I haven't even had a kiss! I'm ten years old! I can give advice! What are your quarrels? Ask Dad! Dad hasn't seen Mom for the better part of two months. Oh, thank God. Your mother is the worst. Hey, Dad.

Hey. Thanks for the sponge. Sorry about Leanne. She doesn't know what she's talking about. My wife, your daughter, is still with me. You said that you came out of his dick. Stop punching the pillow. I'm right here.

I know you're angry. Peter, are you on the hooch again? I'm not drunk, if that's what you're asking. That's not what I was asking. I am on that drug named Hooch. Yes. I'm gonna go back to playing Mario Kart. That's fair. Put your son back on

the phone. I'm a girl. Leanne. What? How do you pass the time? Told you a little bit about how I like to read. I like playing video games. What's that? He's never heard of video games.

Explain it to him like he's five. I like playing. It's like, so I can't. Like, how do you explain it? No, wait, I can hear you. Sorry. I was going to say you're breaking up. It's like a game that's on the TV, but it's virtual.

So it's a racing game, but with a bunch of creatures. And you try and stop other people's cars. It's like you throw a banana or a bomb or something. Oh, I know racing games. You know, when. You do? Yeah, when Jefferson Steel and Loyal Oil race to the finish line. Greatest Profits of 1939, Q4.

I have to go talk to him. I think he's having another episode. He's remembering, I guess, something that happened to him when he was 15 or something like that. Can I be off the call now to say thank you for the sponge or whatever? Yeah. Say thank you for the sponge. I'm going to head over there. Thank you for the sponge, Grandpa.

Leanne, I don't think you like the sponge. Yes or no, do you like the sponge? No, I don't like the sponge. Well, the joke's on you because there was $1,000 hidden inside the sponge. And the fact that you don't like it, you're going to send it back to your old grandpappy, aren't you? I love magnets, so I made

a fortune and I hid it in a sponge. Your cousin Lise, she liked the sponge. It's just a phone and his voice. There's no one else in the room. I'm looking through the sponge. There's a phone and his voice there's no one else in the room i'm looking through the sponge there's nothing in here dad really you shot you i thought you even think well i sent one sponge to leanne and i spent one sponge to charity and i'm a little bit a little bit regretting that

decision because if there's one thing I know about dowries, it's about hoarding it for yourself and not giving it away. My nursing home nurse has been abusing me for a year. That's okay. We're hanging up. Didn't hear that last part. Bye, Dad. Thank you so much.

Happy Valentine's Day. Leanne. Leanne. Leanne is older than the grandpa alright should we do our last segment yes if we only long

here what's been shaking you what's been on your mind what have you been struggling with let's really get into it honestly it was the shower thing but now that that's been fixed hopefully i'm going to be able to not only take a shower that doesn't alternate vacillate between hot and cold pressure nah but he was able to remove part of the shower head that restricts water flow i guess every shower head has a built-in thing that says,

don't give maximum pressure. He was able to remove that. So my shower went from negative two to 10 real quick. You turn it on, it blows you into the drain. It shrinks me. Of course. The equivalent of a power washer into my eye. That's very exciting.

Scalding hot. Be careful what you wish for. So, sorry, you're excited about water pressure? Water pressure, water heat. That's the most exciting thing in your life right now? Yeah, by far. Today? By fart.

In this minute? Yeah. Bidet. Bidet? That is very exciting. So you're going to take a shower after the pod? Not even close. Okay.

So what are you going to do? I'm going to build it up, go camping, come back. Oh. Go to the gym. Wait until I'm caked in this shit. Ew. Sun in the yard. Sweat.

Dirt. Grime. Blood. Lime juice. Calcified skin scales. I'm going to scald myself like milk. Tear the film off my skin and see what happens in the shower. Leanne.

Leanne. Jeff, what's been shaking you? I got this new white tee. Nice. That's the tee. That's the tee. No, it's hard to find a good white t-shirt. And I sort of cracked it with this Everybody World trash recycled white tee.

And tucks in just so. And are you happy? Nope. Okay. What about you? Am I happy or what's been shaking me? Start with happiness. Obviously happiness.

I mean, what is happiness, right? Oh, that's a warm gun. Nice waiting thing. You have a lot of ketchup on your white shirt, by the way. I don't Oh, that's a warm gun. Nice. Wait, thank you. I have a lot of on your white shirt, by the way. I don't know.

For breakfast. I am. I am. I am happy. I am. What's shaking me is not only am I happy, I'm brave. So I don't like scary things. I don't like horror movies like especially horror movies i i get

scared very easily i'm i'm a little coward little weenie and um but oh god wow that was really fucked up no it's not okay i'm yeah um so i elizabeth and i are going to see pearl tonight which is the new mia goth flick and i under any other circumstances i would not be going to say because even the trailer for that freaked me the fuck out and it just looks so disturbing and so scary but i've heard nothing but insane things about her performance and just like hearing that she is phenomenal um and so i'm really you should see barbarian i've also heard that that's very good it's good and it's like scary but in a fun way and it's funny uh so i guess change your plans based on okay well i mean

we're seeing pearl at seven tonight so that's already the plan i guess i'm gonna well you don't have to um but so i'm i'm gonna be a brave little toaster but i do feel so whenever something scary is on what i find is like i do want to be included um so what will ultimately happen is i'll probably just close my eyes for a lot of the film um even though the whole point of me going is to see me at gus performance as pearl it's also interesting because you're completely alone tonight so if you get scared there's and you know what i have thought about that you in an empty cavernous home that's not cavernous it's like our furniture's in there there's some boxes that need to be unpacked still.

But like, so, yeah, I'm going to be a brave. I'm going to be a brave lass tonight. So you're going to keep your eyes open? That remains to be seen. For me, the bravery is showing up at all. For me, the bravery is using my AMCA lister status to get a ticket to the girl. The bravery is sitting. The bravery is going into the theater tonight. The bravery was booking a ticket.

Actually, Elizabeth booked the tickets. The bravery is getting in my car and going to the theater. Which movie theater do you frequent? I'm not going to share that information on the pod because- I know the information. Holy shit. You shook me all week long um plugs amir what do you have what do you want to point to people to i mean i know you're not working on a lot uh but just you know whatever you want to direct people to i actually am fairly busy good for you name three things you're doing i guess if you're so

busy well i mean i'm not like actively working on pluggable stuff obviously like a lot of this industry is sort of wait and see um god what have i been up to it's been a slow year just because of the pandemic and Hollywood's kind of shut down it's not it's wide open production's going off the charts they can't find enough talent or content let me see

I was kicked off Slack I can't I was gonna check that my email I actually ran out of storage I haven't gotten an email in a month pile was saying that they did a vote of no confidence oh i tweeted yesterday that's it plug that do you want to plug that tweet oh imagine a doctor beast imagine a doctor beast do you guys know yeah like mr beast no we know who it is uh you can

find jeff on instagram at jeffrey james you can find him on twitter at jeff boyard amir what are your social handles where can people find you if they want to see more doctor beast tweets well when you say it like that it seems almost lame to follow me but i'm sure if you're interested in kind of funny jokes find me on twitter.com slash I think it's Blumenfeld

yeah twitter.com slash Blumenfeld I'm actually going down in followers do you realize when you plug things with this low energy, it doesn't galvanize people? Twitter dot com slash

I'm on Instagram at Riley Ann Spa. I'm on Twitter at Riley Coyote. I was going to say. I retweeted a clip of Roger Federer crying. It doesn't matter. the show is on Instagram at Review Review on Twitter at Review Review show right at r slash review review crying it doesn't matter the face yeah when me and the

boys yeah go for it for being on today's we had so much fun I was just super quick gonna say TFW me and the boys retire from tennis was the tweet. But it's like connected to a video.

So you can't really, it doesn't make sense. We have made a horrible mistake. I promise Amir will not need to be on future episodes. Somebody needs to be on future episodes. Damn, I lost a lot of money today. Thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs so he can hug two people simultaneously. Agent Michael Scarn. Aggie.

Ako is shifting to a new innovative business model. Give her your undying fealty and in return you can worship her. At this point I can't even tell if Daddy chose Tuesdays or if Tuesdays chose Daddy. It's just, well, me. Austin is now a proud member of the Lego VIP Club, which is like the Mile High Club, except I've never had sex. Back to regularly scheduled programming, you've got kale. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks open a legit virtual farmer's market.

Ben is reminiscing on the finale of Sleeper Hit The Comeback, starring Lisa Kudrow. If you know what this is about, please become. Bob Buell, Sausage King of Chicago. Cam has roid rage, but it's hemorrhoids. Chuck. Connor Finnegan's rage. Connor Finnegan's anger. Connor Finnegan's anger.

The boy you know is a vessel. This is who I am. Damien Kirk wonders if his innie is also a sad, lonely incel type with notoriously shitty shoulders, but at work. Curbature. Do you guys think I have a killer instinct? Curbature. That's it.

I think of a funny name, but it's like so hard. You don't have that. No. You barely have life force. Gray thinks Riley finally watched Suits and has a crush on Gabriel Macht. Bad last name, by the way. Fancy octopus is, according to a co submissive

and breedable i eat spaghetti and meatballs it's like spaghetti and meatballs but instead of noodles i eat the sun i'm riley anspon have you ever heard of this new show the office you know john krasinski is kind of a zaddy jake olman james wagner more like james gagner that fucker smells like shit. Jay is actually in the U.S. for a bit now, and this whole time zone thing might work out this week. Jeffrey Games. Jeff's evil but playful twin. Jesse Tipton.

Joe, and for lack of a better term, well, Malazov. John Daniels. I feel like it's a trap, but that's just his real name. Jewel ended, felt like an outcast the last Zardy. So, hey, I i'm gonna go die in a lake caleb is too busy to come to the phone right now please leave a message after the beep casper about basper lord hunter the ordained lucas heinzel michael bagel money money money i'm flush with cash from these patreon simps We're famous and we're more important than you. My what shook me as I started it crowd.

And let me say Richard Iard would and can get it. Nate Porteous has a birthday soon and can cry if he wants to. Happy birthday, Nate, new patron. Neil Farmstrong. So it's Neil Armstrong, but he's taken up growing his own vegetables. Nolan Murphy has an ass like the beginning of Up. It makes me want to cry. Oh, hi, Mark.

Well, priest. Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater had a wife want to cry. Oh, hi, Mark. Well, Priest. Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater had a wife but could not keep her. Well, it happened. Puff Riley. Raven Schmaven. Review Rattu, so it's this podcast but a sequel.

Smoke and Time on Main Island has closed for the winter and Jameson Ponce has to come up with funny original names now. Smooth Pete and his band that had its initial success and is now in its commercial years period.

The Corbin Bull Players. The Babadook. Oh wait, that's just Dakota. Get a new hat dude. You look like a fucking babadook. And TJ Michael. Patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. And

we have a lot of fun over there. I'm on Instagram. We know. Everybody who listens to the show and uh we have a lot of fun over there I'm on Instagram we know everybody who listens to the show follows you is the thing like you could use your platform now to actually highlight someone that they don't follow hmm like Abital or Joel okbloomer on TikTok

yeah sheee sheee we're on tiktok yeah yeah patreon.com slash riley and jeff if you want to join sorry it just feels weird now to say i already said that oh i didn't hear it sorry i was just too busy thinking about amir's

socials for some reason thank you security or oh well i don't have to think about that because that's like i already know it i too busy thinking about Amir's socials for some reason. Thank you. Security or... Oh, well, I don't have to think about that because that's like, I already know it. I got the Gusto backend login for HeadGum and I just have all this shit now, so I'm

proud of that in a weird way. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks for listening to this episode of Review Review. Arrivederci! Arrivederci! Arrivederci! Arrivederci! Ciii! Ciii! Ciii!