Review Revue - Self Tanner

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

Alf and Reilly spread the Michigan sickness. Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Get that Angel Reef special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? At participating restaurants for a limited time. Lovely to just hear him read reviews His butt's kinda cute but he's so short

And he's hosting the party And Jeff was so cool but he had to go They laugh at me with their jokes And it feels like the start of some improv I've seen before. Before. Before. Loose rice, no box. I guess Riley probably wears socks. Lovely to just hear her new crush. She's got a type and I

would sing from a musical, but I'm a Barry and can't hit the high notes Lovely to sit between Ad-Read and intro But it's Jeff time and he's hosting the party And I kinda toss it as I get up to go He tells jokes with Ryan Alph. And it feels like the start of some improv I've seen before. But it's not real. Jeff doesn't exist. And I can't recall the last time he was here.

It hits me on the pod. And it feels like the end of some improv I've seen Before Before Haunting. Haunting. A haunting parody of Lizzie McAlpine's Ceilings. That was moving, I think,

for me. Are you crying? I'm sobbing. A little bit. I'm a little bit sobbing. That was really... That was beautiful. Trevor,

sorry, I don't know if... Oh, yeah, no, I'm okay to say your name. Trevor said that anyway. She would have said it anyway. She doesn't care, but it's okay. Trevor says, what's up, Review Review Show? Long-time fan submitting a new theme that is elf-inclusive. Not looking for any shout-outs.

So just call me Trevor D. Here's my theme song based on the popular song Ceilings by Lizzie McAlpine. I hope it brings you well joy. Well, Trevor D. You played guitar? Trevor, you killed that. You have a beautiful voice. You have a beautiful voice and that was beautiful guitar playing.

He says, sorry for my imperfect guitar skills. I'm still learning. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? That was great. Trevor. Imperfect. Imperfect.

But it's over. And you're good at guitar. Okay. And it comes out. Okay, wait. Riley's recording the theme song now. No, stop. No, I'm not.

I'm not trying to steal Trevor's spotlight. And you're driving me home. I'm not trying to steal Trevor's spotlight. And you're driving me home. And you're driving me home. Welcome to my house. Alfreeny teeny. Wagon wheel watusi.

Wagon wheel watusi. I know it. I know the steps. I know every single one. Tell me. Tell me. Test what dance to do. I know all the dances. Oh I know every single one Tell me tell me Tess what dance to do I know all the dances

You know all the numbers I do I know every sorry For all you burlesque heads or not out there Um That was a scene from burlesque That was a scene For all you burlesque heads that was a scene That was a scene from burlesque

Alfreeny teeny It's dusty in here man For all you burlesque heads, that was a scene from burlesque. Alfredo Tini. It's dusty in here, man. It's been a minute. There's all these cobwebs on my microphone. We've been banking apps and we took a little break from recording. You wouldn't be able to tell. We've been putting out an episode every week, but it's our first time recording together in like five, six weeks. Five or six even weeks.

I know. How are you? I barely recognize you. What? I don. How are you? I barely recognize you. What? I barely. I don't look that different. I barely recognize you. I don't look different at all.

Your bangs are in dire need of a trim. Funny enough, I knew you were going to say that. I'm getting a trim in a couple hours. No, it's. Isn't that perfect? Isn't that perfect? You look like that fucking, that one peanut. The peanut character with the bangs.

Lucy? I don't know, man. I don't know why. I thought you were going to say pig pen. I'm like, come on, man. The only way that you look like pig pen is that you do have a... A dust cloud? A stink cloud just kind of permeating the air.

Alfreeney, what's new? i don't know um we're in cold brew season i'll tell you that made some cold brew this week been chugging that had about a liter of it today feel insane um my cat in the five weeks that we haven't been recording episodes, my caffeine consumption has just absolutely fallen off of a cliff. But I feel great, and I'm thrilled to be back in the booth with you. Yeah, what's new with you, man? What's it like? Oh my god, thank you so much for asking. To be back, like, finally, are you just, like, thrilled to finally be able to hang out with me again?

Well, we can't hang out, obviously, because you live in Chicago and you've refused to move to LA. Immaterial, my dear watson makes sense um it's i'm so happy to be back recording i'm so happy back recording i've i missed you is that crazy i missed your ass come on you didn't really no i didn't really but it is it is good to be back recording um i'm good daniel like almost single-handedly like daniel's almost single what happened no shut up daniel almost single-handedly like what's about that we made our apartment a home like because he just found a place for everything that we had yet to find a place for and it's perfect it's perfect and i love We still have stuff to hang up, but he's done an amazing job. Wow.

So you were sort of holding him back? No. Design wise? And Daniel's 30 now. I mean, by the time this comes out, he will have long been 30. But at the time of recording,

he turned 30 like a couple weeks ago and that's wild to me. And you're about to turn 30 because you're 29. No, I'm not. June 3rd I will have turned 27. You're turning 20-30. That's not true.

20-30. But Alf, we're literally not here to talk about turning 30. Sorry, I know I'm the one who brought it up, but we're not. The new Disney Pixar film, Turning 30. Turning 30. About a girl who every time she gets embarrassed, she turns into a 30-year-old woman. She turns 30.

We're not here to talk about turning 30. We're here to talk about something. It'll turn, hey, maybe. It'll turn you something. It'll turn you something. It's something revolutionary. I say that about a lot of things. You do.

How would you describe it then? How would I describe it? Yeah. I would describe it as completely alien to me. I would describe it as something I have never once thought about or really encountered. I would describe it as something that people have recommended to me. Oh, interesting. But I will not use.

Right, right. No one's recommended it to me, and now I kind of feel bad about that. We're talking, if you cannot tell, we're talking about self-tanner. But you know what? I think it would work on you. I don't think it would work on me. I do not think so. When I was a child, when I was maybe 12, think it would work on you. I don't think it would work on me. I do not think so. When I was a child, when I was maybe 12, my family were going on vacation.

And I was like, oh, maybe 13. Because I remember I was a teenager, felt cool. And I think someone recommended it to me. Turning 30 years. I got a spray tan. It's my first and only time I've ever gotten a spray tan. At 13? Yeah.

I'm from la jesus and um it looked so deeply unnatural and i even i remember asking i'm like i'm really really white like can we just like do it like the most subtle subtle thing and even with subtle i don't look good tan i don't look natural tan it doesn't it is foreign to me you probably look other than a human you bounce you were also probably like all of what three foot nothing at 13 like you were you were probably like just under this height that i am now to be honest i was gonna say it was probably kind of umpalumpa vibes um no it wasn't it was it was like like i've seen photos.

The tan itself, she did a great job. The woman who did it did a great job. Shout her out. What's her at? I don't remember. Let's get her some customers. But it just, it doesn't look good on me. But that's spray tan, but self-tanner is a different story.

You're not having somebody go and like evenly spread it out. You're not, or if it's not a person, you're not stepping into a and like evenly spread it out you're not or if it's not a person you're not stepping into a machine and having it fully you know do its thing you are either with or without a glove like just sorry it's a mitt my research told me it's not a glove it's actually called a mitt um i've never done it i would never do it i would look insane on me like it would look crazy i do not but that's whytan. I would never do it. It would look insane on me. It would look crazy on you. I do not. But that's why I think you have to do it.

I do not, Tan. I think you should do a video for our Instagram. And what, not go in public for two weeks or whatever? Until it fades? No. That would be the best bit. It would be incredible. Look, spending an outrageous amount of money on novelty bop-its?

Sure, I'll do that for the Instagram. But covering myself in self-tanner, I don't know if I'm going to do that. I think it'd be amazing. Oh, no, I can't. Maybe I'll do, I could do, maybe I could do like an arm or something. Do face. No, I'm not going to do, I'm not going to start with that. Anyway, I've never used it. I don't even know how it works scientifically.

You know what I mean? I don't feel like it's good for you, personally. I don't. I mean, it's certainly better. I think it's like people are moving away from tanning beds, which you should be doing. It's like very much the not skin cancer version of getting a tan. But there are different kinds. Not all self-tanner is created equal i remember a friend of mine in high school went a little uh crazy with the uh like a jergens self-tanning lotion and she went a little slap happy with that and so it just

like her legs turned like carrot orange for a couple of weeks. It was really bad. But we all were able to laugh about it. It wasn't like it wasn't a situation where it's like we noticed that it was bad. And she was like, what? I think it looks great. Like she knew she's like, I fucked up. Like it's just carrot legs.

And so that's also my biggest fear. Not that I would use it to begin with, but it's like if I was going to use it and want it to be really, really light, you never know what it's going to be because you have to leave it on for a certain amount of time, shower it off. It could streak. That's why you want to get the mitt, but the mitt costs extra to distribute it evenly.

But then what about the face? It seems like a lot. Seems like a lot of work. And if there's one thing we know about me, I don't really like to work. I don't really like to do things, you know, that take time. I mean, I grew started growing a beard because essentially I got tired of shaving. So the idea of doing routine self like putting a mitt on and rubbing myself down from what i've seen in the reviews it's like you have to depending on the kind it's like you have to

reapply every like week or so if it's if it's jesus depending depending on the kind like in some fade quicker than others um i think i also remember seeing hacks on sorry what were you gonna say i was just gonna say i feel in a way like I've been spared a certain amount of mental anguish by like, I am not a person who can tan at all. Like it has not even one like shade of golden tan, like nothing. And so I've never been like, oh, I need to, I want to get a good tan going. Like I've never been like worried about that or even thought about it because it's just truly not in the cards for me um so in a way that's been a blessing i think yeah i mean we just burn burn just burn and fuck me if i had some burns man

yeah yeah same my dermatologist you know we have kind of an antagonistic relationship. Or you're the hero because you're giving your dermatologist a lot of money. That's true. They're like, wow, I can't wait for all the money I'm going to make from your insurance company when you inevitably develop skin cancer because you insist on getting third degree burns on your body from the sun. I was going to say that I've seen TikTok hacks of like using self tanner as contour on your body from the sun i was gonna say that i've seen tiktok hacks of like using self-tanner as contour on your face okay that's interesting semi-permanent contour of like getting like a beauty blender and like just permanent not something like but it's like you know it's like last for a bit of like contouring it's like eyebrow no you know like what micro

blading you know it's like yeah and then also like giving yourself like little freckles of self-tanner and sometimes like honestly it's not a bad idea i mean again i would look insane i'm just imagining next i see you on the zoom i'm like is there something on your face and you just have little dots you've like given yourself freckles like polka dots on your face Riley you look sick it just looks like acne scars like they're so big but they're like perfectly circular you're just a mime

so yeah there's part of me that it's like part of me wishes it would look good on me but it just won't and that's fine if it ain't broke don't fix it mama mama if you look good already don't try and improve it do you think i look good do you want to start getting to some reviews um after you answer my question do i look good sure you look like morally like

a good person you do you look good you look good you don't mean it you don't mean it um i can start okay liar i i literally oh you call me i called you this morning and you're like oh did you find reviews i'm like yeah did you and you're like oh i found one don't tell them that don't tell them that i'm bad at finding reviews that's the closest thing to work we have to do for the show. Okay, so I have a review. So remember, I did talk about the Juergens tanning moisturizer. So this is for Juergens Natural Firming Moisturizer Medium Color. Firming. This is, because I guess it's still trying to do like a skin tightening cream while also making you tan.

They're doing too much. This is from Pyrogen. So you can give a last name for Pyrogen. Pyrogen. Pyrogen and tonic. Pyrogen and tonic. Four stars. The title is makes people stop telling me, quote, I look sick at winter's end in Michigan.

I like the color that it gives my skin. The smell is barely noticeable once dry, unless you use it several days in a row to achieve a darker color versus every few days to maintain color. Then that self-tanner stink will be noticeable to at least you everywhere you go, no matter what you do.

I'm super pale with lots of different colored freckles and it looks fairly natural. A tiny bit orangish when I did many days in a row at the start to erase some of Michigan's annual winter sickness look from my skin. Also, skip the tanning mitts and just learn to wash your hands properly. I love that the goal was not even like, I want a little bit of a glow. I want a little bit of a tan, but it's like of a a little bit of a tan but it's like stop telling me i look sick stop it please please please stop telling me i have the michigan you keep saying i have the michigan winter's end sickness and i'm tired of it yeah it's like that is that and again i'm not from michigan i don't know too many people from michigan but

it's like is that a thing of like, oh, they've got the sickness. It's two doctors. They're scrubbing up before surgery, washing their hands. I've got a burst appendix in OR3. I'm just going to add in there. Oh God, that one's never fun.

Sorry about that. Hey, no, we caught it. How that one goes. We caught it early. That's all that matters right thank god thank god you know what uh dr jill yeah she actually had she had a ruptured appendix uh no way it was a goner it was a goner didn't catch it soon enough that was last friday i believe but so uh but you know what i know you're gonna be on it so real for you um i got a big one today yeah bob i'm not gonna lie i got a big one today might be uh i don't want to get the office you know in a tizzy but uh it's it's not great it's not looking good really yeah who's your uh who's your who's your uh attending on that one who you

got helping out steph steph oh she's great she's great Oh, she's great. She's great. She's the best. She is a doll. And she's so smart. Okay. She's fantastic. I don't, you know, man, look, you're a great doctor. So are you. Yeah. And I would hate to sort of, you've been doing this a long time, and I would hate to see your career end premature.

Hey, come on. I'm not that old. Well, you have, like, since before I was born. So I just, I would hate to see your career, you know, end early just because you can't. You're using language that's not maybe appropriate anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's a great gal.

She's a great doctor. She's a great doctor. Yeah. She's a great doctor. I'm sorry. Can we move on? Hey, don't apologize to me, man. Anyway, what's this big surgery you've got

okay well no now I don't know if I should tell you no what no I don't know if I should tell you cause I'm gonna use the wrong words I think you're deliberately missing the point um no I understand sorry I'm just

I'm a little stressed i'm a little on edge i'm sorry i don't mean to take it out you or on staff you know she's a great doctor yes you're a great doctor thank you i'm just a little i'm a little nervous i'm a little nervous i haven't seen something like this in a really long time hey i oh wow i mean for you that could be a really that could mean something you i'm uh i'm actually you know appendix i can bang these out in about 90 minutes i can always hop into your or after and give you a hand just observe like what if if that would be helpful for you if you want just a second opinion it's like i don't know where it's gonna sorry you're right yeah i just i don't know where it's going to go. You're not smoking again, are you? It was, like, not even a pack.

It was, like, three or four. I'm nervous. I literally cannot tell you, Bob, like, how... I'm just going to come right out and say it. My patient, she's a mother in her 60s, and she's a lovely woman. Lovely woman. Her name is Carol.

All right. But she does have the... the uh god i guess i'll just come right out and say it she has the michigan sickness okay no but what does she really have i don't know why you're laughing i would never joke about this you're telling me that in 2023 you you have a patient with the Michigan sickness. That's exactly. I don't hush tone. People started to look around.

What hush tones is why I did. Oh, I get it. April fools jokes on me. You know, I'm not Bob. I'm not fucking around with you right now. Are you,

are you being serious? Nurse comes over. Hello, gentlemen um i just sorry a lot of the doctors and nurses staff uh over at the end of the hall um we could hear your conversation loud and clear didn't like what you were saying about stuff um but i stood up for by the way did everyone notice that i stood up for it was like kind of weirdly like you want to make a big show out of it no but i did stand up stand up for her. I didn't have to do that. Did I hear you? Dr. Jim, did you say that you are dealing with a patient with the Michigan? Oh, my God.

This is exactly. I didn't want to. I didn't want to make. He was joking. He was joking. Oh, I'm not joking. I'm not joking. I'm not joking.

Show me the chart. Show me the chart. I'm sorry to do. It's classified. It's very classified. Show me the chart. I'm sorry to do. It's classified. It's very classified. Have you pushed it up the food chain? Have you told the president? Oh my God, Dr. Jim, have you not told the president?

No, I didn't think to tell the president. Again, I wanted to keep this really hush hush. I wanted, the president doesn't need to know. The president's dealing with. We have Michigan sickness in 2023 2023 you don't think the president congress this should be all over the news people need to stay inside i we should we even be here i can eradicate it in the or in 10 minutes i need everyone to calm down and this is why i didn't want to make it a bit Everyone's gathered around now This is why I didn't want to make it a big What makes it No I'm sorry doctor

But what makes you qualified Okay I'm Like There hasn't been a confirmed case I'm sorry There hasn't been a confirmed case I'm sorry

What makes me qualified There hasn't been a confirmed How old are you How old are you little rug rat I'm 40 years old There hasn't been a I'm 72 Okay

Wait a minute The last I have been doing this for a long time. The last confirmed case of Michigan sickness was... I have seen Michigan sickness. Yeah. I have seen it. So what makes you qualified?

I need you to step back, motherfucker. Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jim, Jim, Jim. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You keep commenting on how old I am, so then for you to be like, what gives you qualification? Like, this is, this is my life. You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You keep commenting on how old I am, so then for you to be like, what?

It gives you qualification. Like, this is, this is my life. You're right. I'm sorry. My experiences. I'm sorry. I have seen the Michigan sickness before. I'm sorry.

I've seen it today, and I never want to see it again. Okay. After today. Okay. Go and, go get him, champ. Dr. Jim, are you sure you don't want to tell the president I don't want to tell the president I don't want to tell the president And that's your call

But if this whole situation goes tits up That's on you Thank you so much for your confidence in me As always Dr. Bob I got a kid on the table in there With a ruptured appendix. I got to go. Best of luck.

He said, well, late by the time I get in there. Exactly. Chewing my ear off out here. Oh, tell the president, tell the president,

whatever, man, I'll see you in court. I need to, what? It's just an expression. Go into the cut to court. Okay.

Order in the court. Order in the court. Begging the gavel. Thank you, guys. I know we're all... Everyone's in hazmat suits. I appreciate everyone being here given the Michigan sickness outbreak.

We are here to discuss the case of the people versus dr jim beam everyone kind of laughs no i know i know i know uh but it's not it's no laughing matter um and this case is brought to him by dr bob odenkirk no not that one i know i know i know, I know, I know. Dr. Bob is something funny? Oh, I just... I don't know. I look around at all these jurors in their hazmat suits and I, you know...

I yearn for the days when people would see me and go oh, Bob Odenkirk, like off the TV. You know, it all just seems so far away now from our world. It does seem far away as everyone does have the Michigan sickness. And I guess right now your name being the same as acclaimed and beloved actor

Bob Odenkirk is not really a laughing matter. He did die of the Michigan sickness. Of the Michigan sickness. Sorry. Can I testify now? You can. this feels pretty casual for a courtroom i know the mishka sickness is kind of like upturned a lot of norms and stuff but this does feel pretty casual for a courtroom even in this time also i just just aside i want to make it very clear that everyone in the hazmat suits are blindingly white. They are glowing inside the hazmat suits.

It's like they are radioactively pale. Yes, absolutely. Please testify. Opening statements against Dr. Jim Beam. On the morning of May the 4th, may the 4th be with you. Remember that? Different time, no? I was scrubbing up for surgery

it was like 11 months later burst appendix pretty routine operation I was just chatting to Dr. Jim and he said some unsavory things about women and I called him out I didn't I called her I said, and I called him out. I didn't.

I called her. I said one thing. I called him out for it. Order, order, order. I called him out for it, and pretty much everybody, you know, cheered and sort of patted me on the back, said good work.

That didn't happen. Dr. Beam, it is you will get your time. Thank you. This sucks. Thank you, Your Honor. Everyone was like, wow, you really put him in his place. That old fart was being so misogynistic. You're a hero.

You're an ally. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jim Beam just shaking. But I was like, I think something might be going on here. He seems pretty stressed. So I asked him, what's your patient? And he told me that he had the Michigan sickness patient in his OR. And I said, you've got to be joking, right? I mean, and it seems

crazy now that that would be funny, but you have to remember where we were as a nation 11 months ago. The idea of a resurgence of the Michigan sickness seems so far-fetched. Of course, now the egg is on my face. It's on all our faces. And I asked him if he told the president. He said he was not going to. And I think we can all see the ramifications of that choice. And we all make choices. Jim Beam gets up. What would the president have done?

Mr. Beam. No, no, no. Bob, what would the president have done about this that we failed to do? Everyone gasps. I don't know. He could have done something. It's not my job. I'm not the president, huh?

What? Give everyone free self-tanner. Free tanning beds. Yeah, that would have been the start except he he he never he never got to make that choice financially sustainable it's not financially sustainable for the entire world for this pandemic of michigan sickness everyone pale as shit you think that every the president would have been able to give every single person the tan that they need we got bird box over here we got everyone needing to cover their eyes. No one can even see me right now.

No one knows what I look like. Oh, Bird Box was such a great film. Because we are all covering our eyes to not look at each other because that's not about Bob Odenkirk. He died because he looked at

his co-star who had Michigan sickness who was pale as hell. Burned his eyes. Singed them right through. Door kicks open. It's Joe Biden in a hazmat suit. Mr. President.

I'll tell you what I could have done about all this Michigan sickness malarkey. Joe Biden played by Tommy. Wow. Okay. Now, what we could have done, you see, about the Michigan sickness is we could have malarkey. I'll tell you, Buck. I'll kick your ass up and down Main Street if you keep talking about what I could have done. I could have kicked this thing's ass.

Mr. President, I'm so sorry. We didn't mean to disrespect you. How did you get here? Don't you have things to be doing? Air Force 9 3 quarters. I don't know. I took a plane. I thought all of the planes were grounded because everyone had to bird box their eyes.

Not me. I'm special. I'm president. Well, Mr. President, we're so happy you're here. So you can settle at Winston for all now that you know, now that we're 11 months out of the pandemic of the Michigan sickness. How are you going to fix it? Uh, Juergens. Juergens, you see?

I think I'm going to send every American a bottle of Juergens in the mail, self-tan, or I'm going to rub it all over their bodies. Going to knock that paleness right out like I knocked out old D.J. Trump. Mr. President. Yes, Your Honor. Take off your blindfold. Why? Just do it.

Well, say what you want about old Joe Biden. He's going to follow the rules. Singe his eyes. Oh! Everyone in the courtroom looks to see what's going on. Everyone burns. Everyone in the courtroom looks to see what's going on. Everyone burns. Everyone dies. Oh my god. Let's take a break, huh?

Nice. Welcome back to the technically sound improv podcast known as review review where you get only the most by the book and normal improv thank you for joining us once again here on wk 130 um do you ever wish we were on the radio? I mean, in many ways we are. This is a radio show. I know, but I'm in my pajamas. So? You couldn't do that if you were on the radio.

Someone might see. All right, I'll do one of mine. Riley's remembering how much better her life was for the last five weeks when she didn't have to record this show I think you're really going to get a kick out of this one I was thinking about you when I read this one this is for Alba perfect hot gorgeous funny woman

likes to do comedy and she is really cool and smart and funny and everyone adores her nasty woman Alba Botanicals sunless tanner self-tanning lotion face and body this is from kristin m kristin masseur kristin masseur one star No refunds. Husband, quote, it smells like urine. Stunk up everything, washed bedding and stuffed animal. Warning, I tried to return this product, but received a message that are no refunds.

I didn't see that note when I bought it, but I just looked up the Amazon product page and I see the note now. Bummer. that note when i bought it but i just looked up the amazon product page and i see the note now is that smell it smells like urine oh that's me you peed no it's tanning cream it stinks huh him with a scrunched up face yes the urine smell got everywhere even though i only put it on my legs i can't imagine what it would have done if i'd put it on my whole body or god forbid my face eek i mistakenly thought the smell would go away overnight so i went to bed oh my goodness what an awful sleep we felt like we were sleeping in a urinal we toughed it out because I really wanted my beautiful tan. My skin is alabaster.

What a mistake. By the morning, the stench multiplied. It was on everything. I jumped into the shower and scrubbed my legs with a washcloth and soap three times, and they still sunk. I had to wash my sheets and blanket, even though they were fresh the night before and hand wash my precious stuffed animal. Yes.

I sleeped with a stuffed animal. Poor pinky. I'm sorry, girl. Even two weeks later, the faint smell of urine saturates my nostrils. I get migraine attacks. If you're sensitive to smell, do not buy this product.

I will say my legs looked tan, but who cares how nice your tan looks if everyone you encounter thinks you peed yourself. Oh, my God. thinks you peed yourself. Oh my god! You peed? You peed! With a scrunched up face? Yes! Poor Pinky.

I'm sorry, girl. I'm sorry, i'm sorry girl pinky i'm sorry girl i did not mean for this to happen i'm sorry poor pinky i'm sorry girl it's like adult toy story of like Pinky. What has Pinky seen? They both, the husband and wife, leave for work. Pinky finally is able to come to life. Oh my God. Guys, everyone come out.

Everyone come out. Everyone come out right now. A little toy soldier walks out How's it going, Pinky? Oh, it's not good, soldier, soldier, soldier, I need a medic, I need a medic Medic? I need a fire hose, something, something, something Uh, fire hose, medic, uh, uh, uh, water, uh, uh, I think the Water, it doesn't matter, god, you're useless

Can anyone help? Please, I need to be- I just need to be washed out. It's absolutely disgusting. Oh my god. People, like, other, like, a little rubber duck coming over with, like, an emergency blanket. Like, the tinfoil blanket.

Oh, thank you, ducky, thank you, thank you. Pinky is, like, a pink elephant stuffed animal. Oh, thank you.ucky thank you thank you pinky is like a pink elephant stuffed animal oh thank you oh my god a giant like fairground teddy bear like crawls in he's the leader i've fallen off what's wrong pinky well well well father bear i um when when melody came home today she put this gross orange stuff on her legs and and it smelled honestly if i could be honest father bear it smelled like a hawaiian day straight out of the tube i don't know what that means what yeah how would you describe that scent? It smelled tropical, a little sweet, but like it transported me. And I was in the bed with her and I was thinking, oh man, Melody and I are just, we're on a tropical Hawaiian day and her legs are looking so orange.

And I didn't really understand. But then Father Bear things took a turn for the worst when the tropical, the Hawaiian day turned into a nightmare, I'll tell you that much. It smelled like she peed herself 50 times. And Chuck got real mad at her, too. And she insisted that it was whatever she was putting on her legs and he believed her but father bear what if she had peed herself i don't know how chuck would react to that all the all the stuffed animals are getting riled up yeah what what if she had petersburg oh oh father bear father bear what are we gonna do mel, what if Melody had Peter's self? It would chuck me really bad!

Battalion, roll out! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I haven't finished my tale, Father Bear. Settle down. Settle down. She put me in the washing machine three times. And it wasn't on the right cycle for me. And now I think I have a tear in my leg. I don't want anyone to worry because she's still our Melody, okay? And she's just under a lot of duress right now.

So we need to be there for her. And I would love if someone could stitch me up. But guys, I think we need to go on the offensive against Chuck. On the offensive? Are you sure, Pinky? Yeah. Guys, I'm really sure. Ah, I'm ready to go on the defensive right now! Let's get his ass! No! Two soldiers! Three soldiers! Wait, wait, wait, wait. This needs to be done.

This needs to be- I'm sorry to take a leadership position right now, Father Bear. I know you are- Pinky. In charge. Yes, Father Bear. Pinky. Everybody needs to settle down. I've known Melody for longer than most of you have been alive. Is anybody else here remember Brian? Scattered voices. Oh, yeah, Brian.

I remember the name. I remember the cocksucker. I wanted him dead. Father Bear language, please. I'm sorry. I got riled up. I think I've been hanging out too much with the toy soldiers. But how about Steven?

Oh, I remember Steven. Steven was always really nice to me. He would put me in funny positions to see when Melody came home. I was writing a book, and then I was cooking eggs, and Steven was great. We all liked Steven. Everyone nodding, nodding, nodding. How do we feel about Chuck? There's a Tamagotchi on the floor.

The Tamagotchi can't speak, but it's just written out in the little pixels. It says, fuck Chuck. Well said, Tammy. Well said. Tammy, come on. Guys, we're still Melody's toys, and this is not how Melody's toys deal. I mean, we obviously need to do something about Chuck, but can we keep a little decorum, please? When you've been around as long as we have, you start to lose your sense of decorum, Pinky.

You're a good, Pinky. You're a good, good elephant. Thank you, Father Bear. There's something you all deserve to know. Oh, gosh, what, what? I heard a few nights ago Chuck talking to Melody about doing a quote unquote clean out. Everyone's like, top of God, she starts throwing up. Settle down. No.

Settle down. A clean up. No. That means us. That means us. He said they were going to make a goodwill pile. No. A keep pile. No! A keep pile.

Yay! And a trash pile. Screaming. Everyone losing their minds. Everyone just like, yeah, I'm losing. Even the toy soldier is starting to just like tear his own hair out. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Settle loud!

What do you suggest we do, Father Bear? Settle down. I've got a plan. Everybody, I've got a plan. Father Bear's, like, butt and eye is just slowly unraveling. Father Bear, Father Bear, what should we do? Every time he, like, speaks, more stuffing spills out, and he has to, like, put it back in. All right. All right. Next time. speaks, more stuffing spills out, and he has to put it back in. Alright.

Alright. Next time they settle down for bed, we're gonna kill the motherfucker. Yeah! Wait, no! This is not... Pinky!

What? There comes a moment in every toy's life where you have to make a choice. Father Bear, you're scaring me. About what side of history they want to be on. What pile they want to end up in. You want to end up in the trash pile, Pinky? Of course not. I want to end up in the keep pile and stay with right we all do if we want to all of us stay in the key pile we got to make sure

Chuck ends up in the trash pile a little Polly Pocket. We need to make sure Chuck ends up in the dead pile! Polly! That's right, Polly! Everyone cheering? Yeah, Polly! They hear keys jingling at the door. Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Everybody hide! Scatter! Scatter! No, babe, I didn't say you smelled

like piss. I just... There was a piss smell. I wasn't, like, I didn't say you smelled like piss. I just, there was a piss smell. I wasn't like accusing you of anything. Chuck, you verbatim said, I said, oh, it smells really bad. And you said, oh, you peed? And I said, no, it just smells like pee. I was joking. Obviously, I didn't actually think, if I thought you peed, I wouldn't have asked it like that.

No, no, no. Hey, Chuck, but Chuck, like, can I ask you something for real? What? What if I had peed? What if there had been like a medical emergency or something happened and i had peed what what what would you do then because already you're shaming me like no i would obviously i would have made fun of that because that would have been like an actual thing but because i didn't think you actually peed i thought i could say maybe you peed like that doesn't make

any sense i don't i'm just saying is i felt really hurt i all i'm saying i'm sorry and i'm sorry that you felt hurt oh my god see this is what you do that's not a real apology chuck i don't know how many times i need to tell you that is not i'm sorry that you feel that chuck okay what do you want me to say okay no no i think you should sleep on the couch tonight oh no way really, that's coming out of nowhere. Fuck you. Are you for real? Are you serious?

Oh, no way. Just like I was just trying to give us a little bit of space. I swear you pick these fights on purpose. You do this on a purpose. I do this on purpose? Yeah. It was one passing comment about the fact that you kind of smelled like piss and now you're turning it and it's just ballooned into this whole thing it never needed to be

because you can't just like let stuff you just don't know how to let shit go is your problem you just don't know how to let it go here's a blanket oh oh what is oh please sir may have some more fuck off melody like i'm gonna i don't want to stay on. I'm going to I'm going to go stay at Mike's. Like, whatever. Don't stay. Chuck, don't. No, I'm sorry. Like, I don't want to be around you when you're like this.

We just barely made it home. You're not going to go over to Mike's. The last thing I want is to be trapped in this apartment with you when you're acting like this. So I'm going to go. Pinky kind of whispers. I think we might just need to do it now it's looking really bad i'm just saying melody like i don't know how much longer i can do this with you if something doesn't change about what you're

something doesn't change about me the poly pocket is like slowly climbing up chuck's leg no i'm just like i'm not saying it's like a you problem it's a us problem like we're both well you just said unless unless you change some things because i've like i've been trying and i just don't feel like you've been what have you been doing like i like i like i don't know i can't think of the toy soldiers she's she's pulling them up the leg with her like like the last last last time when your mom came to town like i i i did all the stuff here no i'm serious i did all the stuff you i took the time off work i i i i got your car cleaned i because i know how she likes to

talk about your car like being dirty like soldiers are nodding to father bear who's climbed up on the counter everyone's just kind of giving each other a look father bear reaches for a frying pan nodding to Father Bear who's climbed up on the counter. Everyone's just kind of giving each other a look. Father Bear reaches for a frying pan. No, seriously. Okay. Melody? What? I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. For what? You get to do a blanket apology. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting today. Do you actually mean it? I do sorry for the way I've been acting today um you actually mean it I do actually mean it I just look maybe we should maybe we should not do this I'm just I'm just gonna come out and say it because I genuinely don't know what else to say okay I think your inability to let go of physical objects like your stuffed animals and these toys. Are you kidding me right now? Please let me finish. Please let me finish. Is indicative of your inability to let things go emotionally i think you have a serious kind of pathological inability to let go of stuff and if you don't start letting go

of everything emotionally and your sneezes and Father Bear takes this aside. Falls to the ground. Melody. Oh my god. Oh my god. Melody. Melody. Melody. Melody.

She takes Father Bear. She throws him out the window. No! Father Bear. Father Bear. Oh throws him out the window. No! Father Bear! Father Bear! Oh my god, Pinky! Melody, don't be scared. We're just trying to protect you. This is it. She throws Pinky out. Oh my god, oh my god.

All the toys are just on the lawn. It worked. Oh god, Father Bear. It worked. Oh god, Father Bear! He's landed on a picket fence. Just threw the stuff at me. Pinky! Oh, Father Bear!

He's like throwing up stuffing. Father Bear! Father Bear! Oh no! Oh god, oh god, Father Bear! Pinky, come here. Yeah, Father Bear. I know, Pinky, come here. Yeah, Father Bear. I know, it doesn't feel like it.

But these people, these toys, everybody, Polly, Tammy, the soldiers, they need you. Father Bear, we need you! No, Pinky, it's my time has come. My time came a long while ago. Don't say that, Father Bear. You need to lead them to freedom. Freedom, but I don't know how. I'm just Pinkie. No, you're not just Pinky you are motherfucking Pinky

I close his eyes with my trunk Commander Pinky, what's the next move? well this is all happening so fast we march What's the next move? Well, this is all happening so fast. We march. What direction, ma'am?

We follow the sun. We follow the sun as far as we need to. And that'll take us to freedom. Hotel hut! Soldiers, march! Looking back at the house, back at Melody. In fact, the apartment complex. They fell so far down. Goodbye, Melody.

I hope you find your happiness one day. Look back at our friends. Just like we'll find ours. Let's go. In memory of father bear and everything we've been through today and the past however long we've been here

I love you guys we love you too commander a big gust of wind comes blows off the toy sword oh fuck comes blows off the toy soldier. Oh, fuck! Nothing but normal improv. Normal improv.

Five weeks off equals normal stuff. I love Father Bear. R.I.P. to a king. To a real king. Your motherfucking pinky father father of you played by logan cox logan cox jesus brian cox bro in reality

fuck off time to pay pinky on the floor okay i have a review i do i swear to god i do Okay. I have a review. No, you don't. I have a review. I do. Liar. Liar. This is from B-Tan.

B-dot tan. B-Tan Moose Foreverlasting Bronze. And this is the darkest shade that they have. Sorry, I'm just knocking stuff over. Hang on. That's fine. This is from Samantha S. Samantha Slacks. She only wears slacks slacks she only wears slacks yeah love it five stars the title all caps i look like a goddess the product was so easy to use i bought an an Amazon-suggested $5 mitt.

I wash it with dish soap and dry over a wooden spoon. Parentheses, typical Italian stuff and a laughing face emoji. I was so tired of... I was so tired of buying Juergens, which gave me a great tan but would gradually wear off in weird areas. The product is amazing. It lasts. It's actually tan color, like a toasted almond goddess.

I'm Sicilian, and I'd normally look this color when I used the tanning bed last year three times a week. Jesus, Samantha. I don't live near any tanning beds now and want to save my skin. No more sun damage. If you want to look like a beautiful baby tan almond goddess, buy this. Don't hesitate. Just buy it. I will forever be purchasing for the rest of my life.

I actually fell asleep the first day using because I tried it out so late at night so I didn't shower it off. It does not transfer. It does not smell bad. I woke up so happy I almost cried. No more spending 10 a week on Juergens. My life is complete. Thank you. You look horrified.

I'm just scared for her. I think most of all. Three times a week is way too much. And also like, I don't know. Live your life. But like waking up the morning after using self-tanner and crying feels like an extreme reaction. It does feel extreme. I think I also really love just the insistence of like, I'm Italian.

Name dropping the Italian so many times. And it's like just so wanting to have that kind of like dark olive Italian complexion. Like I'm Italian and I don't look it, but my sister got our dad's like Italian jeans. So my sister is very like olive skin, like tans, very, very dark. But to be like even just like the way that I dry mint, being like typical, that's a classic Italian. Hey, Samantha, come into my office. Oh, yeah, yeah, Papa. Hey, you know, you're my eldest daughter, and that is important to me.

You know, it's important in this family and our Sicilian heritage. You know, to be the eldest daughter, it means something important. You know that, right? It means I'm the oldest daughter, Papa, I know. Well, yeah, and also it means something about responsibility, you know. Oh, oh, I guess I didn't think about it that way. But yeah, Papa. Okay, so I'm the oldest.

And then I guess that's responsible for being the oldest. Right, right. Look, I love you, Dwarven. Let's just say brains was never the most important bunch of the apple. The what? The most important bunch of the apple. I got an important... The what? The most important bunch of the apple. I got an important job for you, Is that a classic Italian saying, Papa?

Of course, it's from my old country. It's from Vanky Sicily. You know, we used to say... There's like a terracotta pot that says brains is not the most important bunch of the apple. You know, that used to be our... You know, in Italian, they say our motto.

That was our family motto back in the old country. It was never, you know, a bunch of apples. Papa, I'm watching TV in the other room. What do you need? I need you to make a special delivery. I don't drive Uber Eats anymore, Papa. I quit that. I know it.

Thank God you did. How many cases of food poisoning did I have to pay a little money on that table? No, we need something special for you, okay? We need you to do an important job. For me? Yeah, we need you to do an important job for us, all right? Okay. I mean, Papa, I'm watching Real World right now in the other room.

Can this wait? How's this season? It's not great, Papa, but that's why I'm sticking around with it, because I'm thinking maybe it might get a little bit better. Maybe it's a slow burn. Yeah, some of the seasons are a slow burn. Definitely. Definitely. Well, look, I don't need you to do much. I just need you to take a something, certain something from a certain place to another certain place.

Does that make sense? So a delivery you need me to do. Yeah, A to B. And how does this relate to me being the oldest daughter, Papa? I need someone I can trust on this job, you know what I mean? And you can't trust Jimmy? I mean, he's your firstborn son. Look, I love Jimmy, but, you know, as we

used to say in the old country, he's got a little bit of a focaccia head, you know? He's got focaccia for brains. So, uh, gonna need you to take care of this one special, alright? Okay, well, can you tell me what I'm delivering, at least? Yeah, it's a package.

Okay, well, what's in the- Oh, come on, Papa. I mean, listen, I might not be the smartest in this family either, but actually, quickly, Papa, who do you think is the smartest in the family? Because you said Jimmy or I both don't really have the brains. It's Lily. It's Lily. Yeah.

Lily's seven. Yeah, but my my god she can run circles around her bow she is so okay fine so then what's in the package papa it's a box what do you gotta know for oh my god papa you know what if you're just gonna keep being so facetious facetious focaccia with me oh man oh hello facetious all Sheesh, somebody's going to SAT school over here. No, it's a little bit of cash. A little bit? How much cash? About $30.

It's $30? Do you need me to transport a box with $30 in it? No, no one said nothing about dollars, all right? Just saying. Door bust open. Did I hear something about $30? Oh, Paulie, Paulie, Paulie, Paulie, come on. I told you, you can't keep busting in here like this, huh?

What's our family motto? It's, you know, the family motto is the brains are not worth a bunch of apples. No, the other family motto. You don't bust a door if you don't bust a door. Come on. Pop. Lifts up his shirt, shows a tattoo. Don't bust a door if you don't bust a door.

All right? As a second born son, I feel like I'm always left out of stuff. So when i hear you guys saying like oh 30 bucks you know samantha needs to transport 30 bucks i say i want in all right all right i get it you uh trying to prove yourself you're a little bit of a roman roy i get it i don't watch prestige dramas pop you know You know that about me. All right. You're a little bit of a, I don't know, Stewie Griffin. What's a reference you would get?

Hell yeah. Yeah, all right. So, you know, I need my Meg and my Stewie to deliver a certain something to a certain somebody. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Well, Papa, I don't watch that show, so can you actually do the succession? I love succession. Okay, Roman and Shiv need to take a certain something. Well, no, I don't get that show, so can you actually do the succession? I love succession. Okay, Roman and Shiv need to take a certain something. Well, no, I don't get that, ref.

Right, but for you, it's Stewie and... Okay. Oh, okay. So I need you guys, you need to take this package to an associate of mine. Okay? okay for you uh think uh samantha think uh think jerry uh from from success and i guess quagmire for you um so chris and we know this person in real life papa you've met i think it functions but i don't think you guys are close like that oh is it is it is it tim yes tim oh okay yeah i know Is it Tim? Yeah, it's Tim. Oh, okay. Yeah, I know, Tim. Sorry, I think I got muddled with the metaphors. It was confusing.

Anyway, I need you to take this package to Tim, all right? Simple, done, easy-peasy. What's the catch? Because you know our other family motto, turns around, shows a back tattoo. The right no catch without a catch. Yes, I know. That's true. That one comes all the way from Sicily.

Okay, there is a catch. Tim. Tim started using fake tanner. It looks really bad. When you see him, you're going to want to comment on it. And I picked you, Samantha, because you're my daughter. You know how to bite your tongue. I do.

I do. But I can also, I can dish it out and I can take it. I know, but here is a situation where I really need you to not dish it out or take it. I package A to B. You're the only two now, because you've inserted yourself, that I can trust to deliver this package and not say shit about this man's awful tan, all right? Well, Papa, what's so special about me

that you need me to deliver it? He said that you just joined. He said that he didn't actually want you. He just wanted me. And I honestly, if I can be real, I feel like you two don't often get a chance to sort of be, you know, much like Stewie and Meg or even Roman and Shiv.

I don't feel like there's a lot between you two on the show. A lot of the other relationships are highlighted and you two don't get really a chance to kind of, you know. Well, it's because Stewie's like the crowd pleaser. He's like the funny one. And so I think that's kind of like me. Like when Sam and I were in the room, it's like, oh, oh there's paulie he's funny as shit right really hot i don't want to yeah there's like oh there's samantha she's just kind of no i don't need to drill down too deep into the metaphor uh are you listening to how he's talking to me are you kidding me right now look sam come on please yeah i'm exhausted

okay fine let's go let's go i want to finish real world let's just do it and then we'll go home You know our family motto And then we'll come home and be done That's offensive alright get out It's truly just next door He meant it with quagmire Tim lives Next door

They ring the doorbell Uh hello Tan Hey shut up shut up next door. They ring the doorbell. Uh, hello? Okay, so... Tan! Hey, shut up! Shut up! He met Tim! Hi!

Hi, Tim! Hi! Oh my god! Hi, Tim, Tan. Tan, Tim. Tanny, Tanny, Tim. Tiny Tim, but Tan. You got tan on your face

and streaks on your legs. It's tinny, tiny, tinny. Tan, tan, streaky, tan, Tim. Are you fucking kidding me, Pauly? What's this guy's fucking problem? Donald Doug sounded like...

Whoa! What the hell, man? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry about my brother. You know, he's got, he doesn't have the... He's got kind of a focaccia head. He's a focaccia head, yeah. I have a package from our father, and here is

a package for you, and you are looking normal and good. And so I just wanted to give you this package because you are looking so great, and our father sends his regards. Thank you. Can I give you two a little bit of advice? A what? A little bit of advice.

Is she talking like a baby? Pauly, you need to shut up. My family has a motto. It's really important to our family. He's never talked like this before. We've lived next to our entire lives.

And this just ain't even like when we first got here, he wasn't talking like this. This is he just started this. Because I'm talking with my authentic civilian accent now. That's offensive. Back in the old country, my family, we had a saying. Talk shit. Get fucked. All right. So just take that with you. with you alright you two have a great day

well now we gotta go tell dad about how you fucked I didn't no no no no no you both fucked it how did I do it how did I fuck it you said the thing about the baby that I didn't talk like a baby

I didn't again like a baby. I didn't. Again, Pauly said everything. I don't know. You two. I can see now why you often don't get an A-plot or they keep you on separate tracks. Because your energy together is waffle. Waffle.

Go back. Just go back inside. Okay, Pop. It's done. Beautiful. Thank you. Go back to watching your shows. I will, but Pop, hey, Pauly, can you leave? No, I need to be here. Pauly, get the

fuck out. Pauly, get out the fuck. Sam fucked it. No, I did not. Pauly, as soon as he opened the door, Pauly said, Tan, Tan, Tan. I don't know if I'm sure you can hear the whole conversation. But, Papa, Tim said that if we talk shit, we're gonna get

fucked. And so maybe you could give us some kind of protection for the next couple weeks to months. Protection? Yeah. Protection. Protection for your kids who you love so much. I've been protecting you my whole life. I'm exhausted.

Alright. You kids gotta stand up for yourselves. That's it. I got nothing. You guys are fucked. So you're not gonna protect us at all? He might kill you. He might not. Are you fucking kidding me?

I'm so sick of this, Pop. Come on. No, be real. Be real. Are you gonna help us or not? Okay, first of all, it's time to be real. Takes a picture. I don't want to be in it. Why? Because I don't look good today. Yeah, you do. Come on. You're my son.

What are you insecure about? I don't know. I feel like my hair isn't falling right. Yeah, I mean, I can see that. Okay, Pop, are we going gonna get protection from you or not? Of course you're gonna get protection from me. What do you think I am? Some kind of a shitbag? Come on, you kids are fine.

You know our family motto? Shows a thigh tattoo, don't be a shitbag. Don't, shows his thigh tattoo, don't be a shitbag. Don't be a shitbag. Pop, can I ask something? Of course. But before I go back to watching Real World, why did you need to deliver

$30 to Tim? Um, I owed him. And you couldn't just Venmo work. You're so adept on your phone. You're doing B-Real every day. You didn't think to do a Venmo or a Cash App or something? He only has Zelle, and I don't like that. I don't know how that is.

I don't know how to use that. That's fine. All right. Have a good day, Bob. Bye. Love you guys. I love my two beautiful children. Good night.

Have a nice one. Good night. All right. Goodbye, Bob. Hey, Alfred here. I just want to chime in really quick to apologize to the Italian-American community for that scene. Should we do our last segment? Yeah. Okay.

This shook me all week long. Sims 4. I'm playing it. No way. Yep, sure am. No fucking way. That's your joke to me. A friend of mine, she started talking about it recently, and I was like, oh, man.

I haven't thought about that in years. And I downloaded it. It's free. Didn't know that, which is fantastic. You can fully play the Sims 4 base game without anything else for free. Is that true? So, yep.

A hundred percent. So I downloaded it. It, it sucks you in. I'm like, Oh, I'm just going to play for a little bit. Next thing I know,

it's been two hours. It is so fun. Have you been playing the new Zelda? Uh, haven't, hasn't come in yet. Elizabeth got it for Daniel for, and it's,

I'm recording the new Zelda has just come out. Um, and Elizabeth got it for Daniel for, and at the time of recording, the new Zelda has just come out. And Elizabeth got it for Daniel for his birthday and it's arriving tomorrow. Very, very excited. Are you excited? So excited. Because you were both big fans of the first one.

Love, love Zelda. But in the meantime, Sims 4 has been, it's been a dream. Have you made you and Daniel and like you guys are playing house? I did make, No, absolutely not. Why'd you say absolutely not? Because that feels weird to me to do.

Okay. You've just alienated pretty much everybody in the office. That's what everyone does in the Sims. I know, but I don't like it. Oh, for me. Nice save. Nice save. Whatever.

I made Shank Cloy, who is a spin on Shiv Roy. Oh, so much more normal. And so it's like, just like girl boss to the max. And so she's been tearing up families, ripping families apart. She has been starting jobs, quitting jobs. And then at first I was like, I'm not going to use any cheats. And then I realized

I'm like, hmm, that is kind of boring. I have to wait for her to be at work all day. And so I just did mother load, mother load, mother load. Mother load, mother load, mother load. So I'm having a blast. I wish there was a motherload cheat for real life. You know what I mean? Yeah.

It's called insider trading. So what's new with you? It's called inside out. What's new with me? I should have said inside Amy Schumer. That would have been funnier I think fuck off

I think what's new with me is what have I watched recently that's been good oh you know what I finally got round to the Hulu original series or maybe FX on Hulu original series, or maybe FX, FX on Hulu maybe.

Devs? Doesn't matter. Do you know Devs? No. D-V-Z, D-E-V-S. No. Nick Offerman, Alison Pill. It's written by Alex Garland, who wrote and directed Ex Machina.

Men, of course the hit film Men anyway it definitely has some problems but as a concept I really really enjoyed it I think if you enjoy that kind of like harder sci-fi like a little bit more

kind of what's going on here kind of vibe sci-fi for little freaks. Sci-fi for dirty little ones. It's not what Lady Gaga calls. Dirty little ones? I'm on the edge. That was for my dirty little

ones. Yeah, I did enjoy it and I think you will too if you like his other work. Yeah. So that's a wreck huh i came in like a wrecking ball you can find you can follow our sweet wreck oh man alfred barbara levens on instagram at alfred in it you can find the show on instagram at review review on reddit r slash review review it made me really uncomfortable just then when you said I have a sweet rack. That was really weird. No, that's not what I said.

That was really weird. Not what I said. And of course, you can find Riley on Instagram.com, only the web browser, not the app. And on Riley Anspa and on Twitter.com for as long as it lasts at Riley Coyote. And as we say every single week. Every week. Every week we say. He's got

a focaccia. He's got a focaccia. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. he's gotta forget you and we'll see you next time bye