Review Revue - Sharpies
Episode Date: September 14, 2021In this Episode of Review Revue, Geoff and Reilly read reviews on SHARPIES, visit a narcissistic therapist, pull the ultimate child prank, and Geoff forgets to change his audio inputs! IG:�...�@reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee  Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original. Tell me
Why you no review
No!
I started way too low
Why you no review
Why you no review
Stars why you no review stars
yelping on my favorite
shit
yeah yeah yeah sunday morning on a holiday weekend and and i just did that so you're not smiling
and you just did a review review cover of why you don't love me john mayer style the worst
song off of sob rock by john mayer absolutely correct why did you do that why did you do that
that was horrible um welcome to review review um where the reviews are fine and our theme song
submissions are non-existent anymore uh no just I mean, like, please submit them. We just don't have any. And so that's why
I was forced to listen to
a cover of Why You Know
Love Me. Yeah.
Well, the issue is that we ran out of
theme songs on, what, Thursday? And that
one won't come out until September 24th.
Got it. So this one will come out
This is the first one. Not even on Tuesday.
So the next two episodes we do will not have
theme songs. And we have guests on both of those got it um Jeffy it's Sunday morning I want a Sunday so we songs um what are you up to is that invasive is that like i'm
is that okay yeah is it okay that i asked well that was a really non-invasive question it was
just like i'm probably gonna ask you the same too like like would you want to go first what do you
no like i asked you first so you go, if that's okay.
Yeah.
It's fun.
Yeah, man.
This is crazy.
Um, I woke up and now we're here.
That's truly it. I set up all my stuff.
So, I mean, okay.
So this is an audio medium, so it's not, I can't show anyone anyways, but basically there's
so, there's so much tech and this is why to set up for these records which is why I am so excited for
the studio to be ready in 2023
Marty
so I have my ring light
in one side of my computer
I have my charger, the mic, my headphones
and then on the laptop
we have to have gumball open
and then the theme song open in quick time
usually so that you can hear it
and then the Amazon reviews or TripAdvisor, Yelp, whatever then the theme song open in quick time, usually so that you can hear it. And then the Amazon reviews or TripAdvisor, Yelp, whatever.
Then the Patreon stuff and and then GarageBand on the side running so that I can make sure that it's the waveform is registering and the Zoom is open and we're recording.
Hey, Jeff, I'm really sorry that us doing comedy from home is so fucking hard.
The comedy is not hard.
No, I'm sorry that it's like I'm sorry that this is is so fucking hard. The comedy's not hard. It's all this shit.
No, I'm sorry that,
it's like, I'm sorry that this is such a fucking burden.
I'm saying that that's a lot to say,
like that takes 20 minutes to say.
No, it's fine.
No, it's just like.
I plugged it all,
this is not the point of the story.
I plugged it all in last night
so I could wake up, walk to my desk,
sit down and there we are.
And here we are.
I also pre-ordered a cafefe.
You know that you can do that on Postmates? You can get it so that it schedules? I didn't know that, actually.
Yeah. I didn't know that.
That's great. Me?
Let's just say
tomorrow, September 6th,
is first day of school.
It is the first day of school. It is the first day of school.
I am 10 years old.
I am already laying out my highlighters, my pens, my notebook, my getting my outfit together for an online class where no one will see me because it's just kind of discussion posts and forums and different spreadsheets I'm looking through.
I start wine school tomorrow.
Yeah.
I'm really excited.
I'm a little nervous.
Did you get all the bottles of wine
that they said you had to get?
No, because...
So you're already failing.
No, no, no, because that,
that's not required for level one.
They're just like if you want to do it along with us.
And I just haven't had time to do that.
And I also like I just don't know how much that will all cost right now.
It was a lot of bottles of wine.
It's a lot of bottles of wine.
But potentially this week I'll go and pick some up.
But I don't think I'll need it for this first week anyway.
But I'm very excited. I feel like a little kid. It's syllabus week. I'll need it for this first week anyway. Um, but I'm very excited.
I feel like a little kid.
It's syllabus week.
I mean, everybody's going to be chilling.
I mean, we're easing into the school year.
I mean, it really is at the end of the day.
It's syllabus week.
Um, and then, you know, what's actually when you're getting your school supplies ready.
Hey, it's fall.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I love fucking fall.
Easy.
It's fall. I would say that now I would say it's fall because fuck i love fucking fall easy it's fall i would say that
now i would say it's fall because labor day is tomorrow oh my god i'm so happy um it's fall
we're going back to school we are getting our supplies ready and something that you're definitely
going to need are some good durable marker pens we We're talking Sharpies.
Marker pens?
Is that what they call them?
No.
Jeff, Sharpies.
Talk about them.
Oh my God.
What is there to say about a Sharpie
that hasn't already been said?
I mean, it's almost permanent
to have it that way.
You're giving the best man speech.
I mean, what's there to say about sharpies um sharpies are so satisfying they're just so good like holy shit i feel like i want more things but the thing is
it's like you can't write in a journal in sharpie i mean you
can't write this shit i mean you can't write this shit but it's like if you have like like a glossy
piece of paper and you're cracking open a new sharpie wait no no wait cracking open cracking
open a brand new sharpie oh it's so good or like poster board like glossy kind of like poster
board for a school project yeah it's so good yeah it's so good um so when you were like because i
think the last time you and i used sharpies were when we were creating the picket signs for the
hashtag stop the steel movement that we were kind of a part of for a couple months there
and uh and um yeah it was gliding it was gliding all over the poster board
sorry i don't think so it was gliding no i'm saying the sharpies were crazy good got it um
do you use sharp because elizabeth before we started recording when she found out we were
doing sharpie she has some strong thoughts about Sharpie, like super fine pens. Yeah. I was texting
her last night and I was like, oh, I have to go find some reviews for Sharpies. We're doing
Sharpies tomorrow on the show. And she sent me, yeah, like a whole paragraph about, um,
the ultra fine tips are not good to draw with. She was mad. She's like, that's not the essence
of Sharpie. She's like, you want the marker.
That's what it is.
Like, that's a Sharpie.
And I'm like, but Sharpie is a brand.
Sharpie.
But when you think of Sharpie, you think of the marker.
You don't think of the pen.
Yeah.
No, but that's, yeah.
No, 100%.
No, whatever you guys think.
Well, no.
Well, do you think of the pen?
What do I?
Because it's fine if you do.
No, I.
Think for yourself. Have your own thoughts.
I love the pen. It's fine, too.
You do?
The thin ones. Because they're like a pencil, but they're permanent.
So it's a pen. So they're not like a pencil.
It's a what?
Got it.
No, I love the fat tip ones. The really thick boys.
Like the chisel kind?
No.
So just like a regular sharpie?
I think chisel.
I think they are chisels, yeah, actually.
Oh, you like like the big boys.
Yeah, because I truly love.
Thick guys.
Yeah, you know when you see like a celebrity signing autographs?
Yeah.
Sometimes they have that fat boy.
And it glides even better than the original.
I think it's harder to write with, though.
It is.
But my signature is bad to have anyways.
So you're talking about you being a celebrity with autographs.
Do you want to kick us off with a first review?
Yeah, let's do it.
This is a one-star review of Sharpie Permanent Markers Fine Point.
Got it.
No, it's not the ultra finest.
Fine Point is, I guess, what they call the normal one.
72-pack canister.
Oh.
From?
This is from Mary T.
Mary Thistle.
Mary Thistle writes, this product came short four markers.
It ruined a gift I was putting together for the holiday.
As I only learned I was missing the items the night before with no stores open.
Very inconvenient.
Nobody's going to notice those last four, right?
68 is fine.
68 Sharpie pens is enough.
That reminds me of Harry Potter and Dudley.
It's like, how many are there?
Like with his birthday presents.
With 36, counted them myself.
Last year I had 37 presents it's just like that's not why they didn't like the gift man you're in therapy and so it was i mean it's just like i feel like
my people-pleasing tendencies are coming up again because it's like i just want to make everyone
happy yeah and so when i got them i'm like i i knew it was my fault because
i didn't check i didn't check before before paying for it that there were only 68 in the
pack and not 72 yeah and so it's like well but you said they kind of reacted like they they
put on a visage that they liked it and then yeah i mean later you saw them toss it all the whole
thing in the trash they're my aunt right so it's like she's not like, like Lisa isn't going to look at me and be like, this is a horrible gift.
Like she loves me.
Like we're so close.
So it's like, but I could tell, like I know her so well.
I mean, she raised me, you know?
It's like she raised me and I saw the look in her eyes.
She was just like, you could have done better.
Yeah.
And then I saw her throw it out.
Yeah.
Just for the sake of argument, why did you get her that gift?
What's funny? I don't mean to laugh. I don't mean to out. Yeah. Just for the sake of argument, why did you get her that gift? What's funny?
I don't mean to laugh.
I don't mean to laugh.
It's just.
Why did I get her?
You said, why did you get her that gift and you were laughing?
No, I was thinking about this like thing that happened earlier today.
Oh, what is it?
I'd love to laugh too.
Because I'm going through a tough time.
So I'd actually love something to laugh about.
Yeah.
I saw a dog that kind of like smiled almost
or something i don't know just let's move on because i feel like we're getting or something
you saw a dog that smiled i promise i will if you keep going i will not laugh again i promise
this is therapy i'm a professional i just thank you markers yeah markers yes markers Thank you. Markers. Yeah, markers. Yes.
Markers.
It was a symbol of how permanent she's been in my life because she raised me from when I was 72 days old and my parents died and so i was getting her the 72 pack of like look at how look at what a permanent presence you have been in my life up to that point so when i got it 68 i could tell
hey you know what that's probably i could tell she was just like well it wasn't 68 days it was 72
days and that's what she had does she even mention how many there were i'm sure it's like she's
actually you know those games it's like a party game when it's like,
Oh,
guess how many jelly beans are in the jar.
And if you get close enough,
then you win.
Like she's always been really,
she's always been really good at those.
And so I feel like she just has like an eye for those things.
That's so Lisa,
honestly.
So at least that she has such an eagle eye.
So I guess I'm just wondering,
it's like,
what,
what should I,
how can I make it up to her?
Because she's actually not responding to any of my texts.
And I sent her 72 back to back to kind of like make up for it.
What did they say?
What were the texts?
Were they all different or were they all the same?
They were all different.
I made sure it was like a full paragraph, but it was all one word each.
So it was kind of like 72 separate texts saying like, Aunt Lisa, I'm so sorry about how the Christmas present ended up.
And maybe she just saw 72 texts from Marie and she just wanted to like read it later because that's a lot.
You're laughing again.
I can see the edges of your mouth are being pulled upward.
If you listen back to what everything I just said, I did not chuckle.
Okay, well, good thing that we record all the sessions because, okay, let me just listen back really quick.
For Marie, and she just wanted to, like, read it later because that's a lot.
And, yeah, so you were chuckling.
Okay, so it was more of like I jumped, you know, in my very verbiage.
You know how you kind of skip and jump?
You jumped in your verbiage?
I've never heard anyone use that phrase before.
Let's move on to what happened after you texted her.
And I won't laugh, I promise.
Well, I told you what happened.
It's a big fat goose egg is what happened.
It's a big fat goose egg is what happened.
I've gotten nothing from her.
And in fact, the texts, they started blue and then they were going green.
See, there it is again.
I don't even have to replay it.
You're stifling.
You're holding your hand over your mouth.
I know.
I just it's it's it's you're so right in everything you think.
Tim, don't be a yes man.
Like I know you're a therapist.
If I point out even one thing that's wrong with the situation, I'm going to start laughing.
I'm so sorry.
That's why I'm here.
Tim, come on.
It was a bad gift.
It was a horrible gift.
I don't think she'll ever put together the things that you're trying to make the gift symbolize.
72 days after you were born, she's not going to remember that.
I don't even think that you would know that.
Permanent markers.
She only needs, at most, somebody needs two Sharpies.
You gave her 70 or whatever.
I get what's going on here.
You and everyone else think that I'm a burden.
I'm a permanent burden on Atleast's life.
You think that.
You're worried about that.
No, I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
And it's fine.
I guess it's just like it's something that I've always...
What do you mean permanent burden?
You moved out when you were 18 like every other kid.
How is that a burden at all?
You had a full ride scholarship to Tulane.
You're not a financial burden.
You say you only see her twice a year.
Right?
Well, she only lets me see her twice a year, I guess I should say.
Right.
I try for more than that.
There has to be some deep-seated issues between you and your aunt.
It's not the markers.
You're blaming it on the markers because that's easier.
Did she say something to you?
Because I know that you see her as well.
I really can't.
I know you can't.
I know you can't.
I know you can't.
But it's like.
No, it's not like, oh, I know you can, but like this one time kind of bend the rules.
No, I actually cannot.
It's like, has she said anything about me?
Yes.
What'd she say? I cannot tell you rules. No, I actually cannot. It's like, has she said anything about me? Yes. What'd she say?
I cannot tell you that.
I already said too much.
Hmm.
What if we're like,
the session's over
and we're just like,
getting a coffee?
Ben, can you tell me?
We're not friends
because that would also
be crossing lines.
Hey, Tim.
Is it?
Oh my God.
Hey.
Hey.
Lisa, what are you doing here?
Run.
What are you doing?
Run.
Go.
What?
What? No, but we're late for our session
no
you know what this is a perfect opportunity
we can do a family
session right now
Marie I really
I didn't realize you were seeing Tim I don't think this is
the healthiest thing you didn't tell her
you didn't tell her
how is it on me you You're the one who would...
What?
You're laughing again.
You know what?
He does laugh a lot.
But Marie, this is...
This is...
Honey, I love you.
You are my favorite niece.
Yeah, I'm her only niece.
You're my favorite niece.
But we gotta have some boundaries here.
Right, Tim?
That's what we've been talking about?
Boundaries?
I think i chose the
wrong profession i'm sorry guys it's just this is all silly to me and i really need to take it
seriously if i'm gonna do this and like this is a sitcom to me almost this is silly to you i think
i'm gonna write tv what if what if there was like a show about about somebody who worked at a tractor dealership?
And the ins and outs of his day is kind of silly.
Family and work and shit.
Like a John Deere kind of thing.
That's not that bad, actually.
Yeah.
Your guys' lives are jokes to me.
I mean, I can give you – I mean, you know, I found – Lisa, I hate to tell you, I did dig out of the trash the Sharpies.
So, Tim, if you want any of the Sharpies to start writing your screenplay, I can –
That's not how that works.
Nobody writes a screenplay for an American, but thanks so much, guys.
Yeah, that's not how it works but yeah and
I barely know but I know that they don't do that uh all right should we take a break yeah I'm gonna
write it in Microsoft Word and I know that's not even the way but I know it's definitely
better I'm just gonna do it on like a Google Sheets which is like that's a spreadsheet
application but I'm gonna try and then like the marker thing would be worse than that but that
yeah that would be better than marker to me and we're back oh really Only this time.
Only for now.
Only for now.
Okay.
These, both of these are for Sharpie assorted 12 count highlighters.
So this is one star.
I have a one star and a five star.
Do you want to hear the one star or five star first?
Five star.
Okay.
Five star.
This is five stars from Joy D. Joy Division. Joy Division.
The title is you will be glad you got these highlighters.
Highlighting paragraphs, highlighting quotes, highlighting words in different colors to differentiate different messages in one paragraph.
Awesome.
These highlighters give you the radiance you want and need.
They are the best in highlighters.
They don't smear.
They don't bleed.
They are the best in neon yellow, neon pink, neon orange, neon green, neon blue, and neon purple.
Six colors, 12 markers, three yellows, which are the ones we use the most,
at an awesomely inexpensive price that can't be beat.
It's the best deal you can get in this kind.
You will be glad you got them.
And hey, they are Sharpies. Sharpies, I think, is the best brand out there.
Right.
Again, Mrs. Johnson, I brought you into my office as your son's kindergarten teacher
to tell you that he's been having some issues.
And I know you work at Office Depot, but I'd really rather you not sell me on Sharpie products
when I'm trying to tell you that I think he might have severe violent tendencies. Did you know that our assortment of erasers,
you'll get the best deal this side of the Mississippi?
Because they come actually in a six pack.
And I know you're thinking,
you don't need that many erasers,
but you actually, you're never going to know
because the ones on the ends of your pencil,
ooh, they're icky.
They're really, they're just like little,
they're like little rubber monsters.
But these thick, they're kind of like square erasers.
Oh, those are angels.
Monsters versus angels.
Little rubber monsters.
That's what I'm saying.
So I actually brought some in my bag,
if you're interested.
Here we go.
Right.
So Tyler pushed me into a whiteboard. And was so speaking of expo markers you will not
believe the deal that we have we got even you know it's like you get your classic red your
classic green your classic blue your classic black we have neon we have neon just like the
sharpie highlighters did i mention the sharpie highlighters? Did you buy Tyler's size six boys steel-toed boots?
Because he's been kicking people.
And he has some...
Speaking of steel, everyone needs it.
Sometimes you don't know where you put it.
Staplers!
So I actually have a hundred count pack of staples for your stapler.
Is there anything that's happening in your house that might be teaching
Tyler these things?
Violent movies, you know,
weird
activities.
I don't know. I'm very scared
for him and at this point, you.
Violence, huh? Violence.
Now you're hearing me. This is crazy that it took this long
violence in the home violence in the home you know i'm trying to rack rack around the old noodle
thinking about anything rack okay this is crazy rack around the old rack around the old upstairs. Not a say. Think about if there's anything
kind of gory, punchy,
gnashing of teeth,
slashing of fists.
What?
Speaking of slashing.
No way.
We, and this,
I wouldn't recommend this for everyone,
box cutters are very in right now.
I will not supply my kindergarten class
I'm not saying
I'm not saying
I'm not saying
Then what are you saying?
Because Tyler ate a game
On TikTok there are trends
Of people cutting soap
With box cutters
Tyler's been drinking the soap
So beyond the violence against others
He's also just being weird
I don't know what
He just doesn't seem to have any sense of normalcy in his life
What kind of soaps has he been drinking?
Has he been drinking the Dove?
Or has he been drinking the Office Depot brand?
Because we do sell hand soap
And hand sanitizer at Office Depot
How many days a week do you work at Office Depot?
Work at Office Depot? God, that sounds like a dream I'd love to work at Office Depot. How many days a week do you work at Office Depot? Work at Office Depot?
God, that sounds like a dream.
I'd love to work
at Office Depot.
Are you kidding me?
Do you know
if they're hiring?
You peddle their shit
all the time.
I've just assumed
you work there.
Oh my God.
That's the,
you know,
that's the,
I know you brought me here
to talk about my son.
Good.
That is the nicest thing.
That's the first time
you've acknowledged that.
That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever told me.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever told me.
I don't.
That's so sad to me that that's the nicest.
You've said it three times, which means that you're really sure of it.
That's the nicest thing no one's ever told me.
Tyler is my nephew.
He doesn't know it, but I think he actually overheard me in the other room talking about it. Tyler is my nephew.
He doesn't know it, but I think he actually overheard me in the other room talking about it.
So I think that's, I'm just going to cut right to the chase.
I think that's why he's acting out and is pushing people and is really mad because he's lived his life as my son.
And he is my son.
I think he was my son, but he is actually.
He thinks you're his mom.
Yeah.
But you're his aunt.
Why did you keep that from him?
That's such a, it would have been fine if you didn't. I think it's just because, like, I, in a similar way to me wanting to work at Home Depot.
Home Depot? Office Depot.
Sorry, Office Depot.
I'm thinking about what's going on in my home.
You're the one who brought it up.
Why isn't his mom his mom?
She lives down the street.
So she just didn't want this is
she no like she's in his life
he thinks that she's his aunt
why and that's making him
violent
and he just found out
he just found out that it's not
the case have you talked to him about it or did you
just know he overheard
this is crazy
you're not a good you shouldn't be his mom but I well Have you talked to him about it? Or did you just know he overheard? No, I know he overheard. This is crazy. I know he overheard.
You're not a good, you shouldn't be his mom.
But I, well, I'm not, but I am.
But I did write in those great XO markers,
the really, really bright ones,
sorry, on our whiteboard in the kitchen.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that you have office supplies.
Where is his father?
Is he in the picture?
His father is, he thinks his dad is his uncle. No way that his dad is he in the picture his father is he thinks his dad no way that his dad is your
his dad is his uncle and his uncle's his dad we thought it'd be funny like for a little bit we're
like oh could you imagine if like i was his mom like that would be so silly and then the joke
just kind of the joke went too far it went too far yeah. Yeah. You have to tell him. I feel like that's...
He knows already.
You have to tell him.
He has to hear it from you, not overheard.
But he did hear it from me.
I said it clearly and he heard it, obviously.
You're a coward.
I'm sorry, but you're a coward.
You're a coward who hides behind office supplies.
Tyler?
I knew it.
I saw those little feet fucking shuffling.
Yeah, come on come on buddy
hi honey hi i hear you've been drinking not office depot soap is that the main issue that's going on
here i think that for the next five minutes don't say office depot i think that mrs johnson has Mrs. Johnson has something that she'd like to say to you. What is it, mom?
Let's, yeah.
You know.
We both know that you know.
I know that you know.
So let's not.
Say what?
You already know.
This is dumb.
I don't want to do this.
Say it.
I'm your aunt.
Your aunt's your mom.
Your dad is your uncle. and your uncle is your dad.
We did a big switcheroo. We thought it'd be funny and I'm sorry that you were affected by it.
But you cannot be drinking soap that isn't Office Depot brand because we literally have a whole line of it that came out this year. And so I feel like that's at the end of the day, that's the main
issue because you know how much it means to me, even though I'm not your biological mom, like I'm
your mom, but I'm your aunt. So I'm not your mom, that's the main issue because you know how much it means to me. Even though I'm not your biological mom, like I'm your mom, but I'm your aunt.
So I'm not your mom, but I am your mom.
You know how important that is to me.
So at the end of the day, I feel like you should actually be taking my feelings into account more.
And all of the violence makes a lot of sense to me because let's just say if you were drinking the Office Depot, so that wouldn't be the issue.
That wouldn't be the issue.
Woo!
Are we done?
Tyler walks out.
You see through the doorway.
He shoves all the kids and they kind of all domino effect fall.
Turns around and looks directly at you.
You did that.
Well, you did that.
You were the one who pushed them.
I didn't walk out there and push them.
So actually, you're the one who pushed them.
Mr. What the fuck's your name? Teacher? I'm so sorry. I didn't read out there and push them. So actually, you're the one who pushed them. Mr. What the fuck's your name?
Teacher?
I'm so sorry.
I didn't read the door
when I was walking in here.
It's Mr. Rylance.
Hi, Mr. Rylance.
Are we done?
I feel like this is now
turning into a fight
and he started it.
Yeah.
I've already reported you
to Child Protective Services.
He's not my kid.
That's the whole point.
That's the issue this should be all
top chef the program Top Chef.
We flew back from Chicago. These episodes, I don't know.
I don't know at one point because we banked a lot in the past couple of days.
Today, September 5th, two days ago, we flew back from Chicago.
We were in Chicago for a week.
So for the flight, I downloaded the most recent season of top chef that was filmed during the pandemic
i love top chef really i fucking love to i remember the episode we did with elizabeth about
i think it was dunkin donuts yeah it had to have been and one of the scenes was top chef themed
because i was tom calicchio and you guys didn't know who Tom
Colicchio was, which is totally fair. Um, I love Top Chef this season. It's already done and they
filmed it, I think like pre-vaccine rollout, which is wild. Um, but it's just, I get, maybe
it's cause I'm starting my period today, but I get so emotional watching Top Chef.
Because I'm like, wow, food and culture really tells a story and brings people together.
And it's just so, it's just so inspiring.
And it's so great.
And I love the chefs on this season.
My God. inspiring and it's so great and I love the chefs on this season my god it always I mean it's just
it is such a comfort watch for
me to like binge watch Top
Show I love that it's
it's amazing yeah and
this past episode that I'm watching
um they are learning
like they're learning about first foods
like and uh Native
American kind of like cultural historical ways of catching and cooking.
Yeah.
And so they went to this one tribe in Portland.
I feel really bad.
I'm forgetting the name of the tribe provided all of this fresh caught and and like what's the word?
What's the word?
Responsibly sourced like fish and game and berries and everything.
And like just just taught them the way like like to watch the chefs then like make that food and serve it back to them.
I was sitting there just like crying being like, this is fucking awesome.
This is so fucking cool.
And yeah, the challenge was a surf and turf and they were pairing game kind of gamey or meats and fish so it was like rabbit and smelt and uh catfish and bison and antelope and
salmon it was really fucking that sounds really good it was it was amazing to see
so it's top chef for me oh that's good yeah i think i've seen parts of this season actually
the portland one uh george watches it what did i do on saturday night i drove to santa monica Yeah. I think I've seen parts of this season, actually, the Portland one.
It's so good.
Because George watches it.
What did I do on Saturday night?
I drove to Santa Monica to sell a placemat.
Should we thank some patrons?
Thank you to Christian Side Hugs for Chastity.
Wait, tell me about the placemat.
I sold a placemat set on Craigslist,
and I had to drive to deliver it to santa monica because he was the only
person that uh offered full price and i think i realized about halfway on the way back that i
probably spent gas money that offset the amount of money i made but at least he's happy that i
that he has the placemats got it um saturday night saturday night saturday night in the city that's what i did so that's
what my life has been recently i'm really happy for you i'm finally getting a social life yeah
that's good um should we thank some patrons? Like, should we or not?
Let's tease their ass and not do it this week.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
That was a HitGum original.
Psych.
Uh, shall we?
Let's do it.
Underscore Christian side hugs for chastity.
A national treasure, a good old-fashioned lover boy,
America's sweetheart himself, Bob Buell.
And I really mean that.
Aaron.
Aaron Old Dobbin Coogan.
Adam Shea. Agent Michael, well, for lack of a better name, Rashid.
Aggie.
A co-in-the-key of Sheef.
Alex Witt.
Alvaro Walsh from Lindell.
Anthony Amadeo.
Austin lost his credit cardston, but he's back now, baby.
Beej.
Brad Hild.
Brian Dodd.
Brunkus Mink is dead.
Guglia Bui Diefus is back.
Chuck.
Caroline the breadwinner and Kinsey the bread sinner.
Chaston Bales.
Chris Forgash.
Cloth. Conman Findude. Heyaston Bales. Chris Forgash. Clough.
Conman Findude. Hey, that's a really cool
name, Connor. Curb it your enthusiasm.
Devin Clark Memler
is okay not to fight, Jeff. In fact, he's
glad about it. Drinkle.
New pink. No, never mind.
Every night
I shiver praying for a piece of
clothing to warm me, like a review
review hoodie. Those, uh, the final hoodies have been sent out.
Woo!
By the time this episode airs, they've been sent out.
Woo!
Fancy Octopus.
Frito-Lay.
Gabriel Castaneda.
Is Frito-Lay a new patron?
Yes, new patron.
New patron.
Jeff may have that wagon, but daddy wants to talk about those shoulders.
Talk about Broad City. Jeff's little baby boy new patron
Say it again fool
Gray was sent to the hospital by Jeffrey James and he's in debt now
Graham stopped GME new patron
Guess who's back? Ricky's back
Also Bobby owes me a clean G
Hearing Riley laugh while saying
to Kiki made me happy to hear.
Thanks. Holly.
I regret to inform you that is Damien Kirk.
Isaac Puff, new patron. New patron.
Oh my god, new patron.
That's so fucking funny. Jack Kwan.
No, I'm kidding.
Oh, never mind.
Jake the Snake Raddiff.
Jake Ullman. Jamison Ponce.
I thought it was funny as shit when Riley was a lemon on Jeff's Live on August 22nd
and liked the guitar.
I thought that someone new had named themselves Isaac Puff New Patron.
That would be genius.
That'd be really fucking funny.
Jared.
Jeremy Brunner.
Jesse Tipton.
Jive Gosley.
Jordan Viro.
JP again.
Oh, what's my story, you ask?
Some fun facts about me. Hmm, let's see. Caleb Lester. Jordan Viro. JP again. Oh, what's my story, you ask? Some fun facts about me.
Hmm, let's see.
Caleb Lester.
Lauren Malang.
Look over there, it's a Hallie.
Lord Hunter the Gray.
Maggie Anderson.
Malik.
Mark Priest.
Michael Beggle.
Mo Pete.
Mooshu Lasagna.
Nate Porteous, new Pufftron.
That's right, not a new patron, but a new Isaac Puff.
That's kind of what we were just
joking about yeah no it's rory and davy you're zoey landall nolan murphy's moving to la soon
and just like that i'll be leaving can't wait to i can't be near that fucker nolan moving to la is
the final straw of me going to new york yeah that makes sense also i found a house in the hudson
valley that's like 180 000 and billy brick Jake, and I want to go in on it.
It would be
split three ways. It would be $300 a month
to maintain.
I fucking had a two bedroom house
with a yard. Where's Jill gonna live?
Jill fucking cares where Vogel is.
They just bought a townhouse.
If she wants a staycation, she can go in the
fucking guest unit.
You're the next name. No's it no nothing sometimes isn't even my real name patty freaky mayonnaise phoebe quack rooster williams
sabrina sam armstrong scalpelastis ramona was high on the Zardi and was, well, anxious.
Shan to the bone.
Shan to the bone.
Shan to the boner.
Bone-er-ski Shannon Brooks.
That's one of my favorite.
Shan to the bone.
Soap.
Space ant.
Taint.
This D20 die is longing to roll.
TJ Michael. Tyler the Unlovable
Jasper is hemorrhaging
Cashed by the fistful and will soon be
Fun employed see y'all later I'll miss you
Bobby wool
He'll be back they always are
Austin he'll be back
Yara Bouchard
And Yasmin David.
So shout out all you guys.
And if you also want to
subscribe to our Patreon. What's wrong
now? You don't have to. You do.
You don't have to, but it'd be fun.
Nah, I don't want to pressure anybody.
Alright, fine.
Well, no, let's subscribe.
I knew you were going to do that.
Everybody should all subscribe.
Oh my God.
You can follow Jeffrey on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at JeffBoyRD.
You can find the show.
You haven't earned it.
You can find, oh my God.
You can follow Review Review on Instagram at Review Review and on Reddit r slash Review
Review and Twitter at Review Review Show.
It's just like.
Plug my shit. Nobody wants to see us plug my shit
I will once I finish
talking about how no one wants to see our
faces that's why we do audio
that's why we face for radio just
fucking plug my shit
at rally and spot
on instagram at rally coyote on twitter
but she hasn't earned it
what do you mean I haven't earned Twitter?
I'm tweeting more in the past two days
than I've tweeted in like three months.
We haven't earned anyone's
follow or respect.
Speak for, say I.
Because I feel like. We.
No.
Just don't know or deserve y'all.
We'll see you next time. Thank you so much for listening.
We will understand when you don't listen to next week episode.
We'll see you next time.
We?
Don't speak for me.
I'm sorry.
I'll see you next time.
Jeff is no longer going to host Review Review.
Can't wait to start a new chapter where I am the only host and I'm doing solo improv.
On Review Review. Catch you again next week. where I am the only host and I'm doing solo improv on Rearview.
Catch you again next week.
Just say Arrivedere. That's literally the last thing you have to do before you quit the show.
Just fucking say it.
We haven't earned the right
to say Arrivedere.
Cheers!
That was a Hiddem Original.