Review Revue - Snowman Building Kits

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Alf and Reilly are back to torment their niece and summon the ghost of Christmas past. This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self.>>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Well, the pod starts like the rest of it bird another homemade intro by some washed up turd themes keep coming one-on-one and they keep coming i don't know what's been shaking me all i'm thinking about is swipes one three, we got too much to do Too much to do Here on Review Review Review Review Your favorite podcast Oh, you're a cop I say, Alfred How you been?

Five out of five This is a whole world It's confident how the hosts Never change, never change, never change Do they? That's my favorite part about this show Is that the hosts have never changed That was beautiful

That was beautiful. That was really lovely. For any of you musical theater hands, that was an acapella rendition of opening up from Waitress, the musical. And it was from Victor. Victor says, hey, guys, I can only think of one musical that I know by heart, and that's Waitress with Sara Bareilles. I hope this acapella rendition scratches that musical itch. I should say-

It was fantastic. You can find me at victor, V-I-K-T-O-R, underscore makes, underscore music. It's the second search result on Instagram for those curious. Well, Victor, you made music this week. I'll tell you that much. Victor, that was beautiful. Thank you so much.

I really liked that one. And it's like, honestly, like I said before before it's like it's so true that the host never change never change well that actually reminds me I've been meaning to talk to you about something nope I don't like this joke Alfredini if any of you are listening to this

episode and thinking oh last week they said that this was their first pod post live show we had a little scheduling thing and that was on me. But this one. Scheduling thing. And by scheduling thing, I mean, I forgot to upload my audio. You just didn't upload your half of the audio.

I thought I did and I didn't. So Aria was supposed to come out before Tums, but it literally doesn't matter. Well, honestly, after we did it, after you fucked up i guess i mean um the uh oh i love this dance move you're doing i wish this was a video medium um i feel like toms was a more fitting episode for last week anyway because it's like it was the thanksgiving week episode and it's like what's more indigestion causing the thanksgiving food exactly and and so we've just come out of thanksgiving at the time of What's more indigestion causing the Thanksgiving food? Exactly. And so we've just come out of Thanksgiving at the time of recording. And how was your Thanksgiving?

I ate a lot. Were you Thanksgiving? I was, I was, it's Thanksgiving food time. Riley just stood up and walked away from the computer. No, it was great. I had so much food. You know, I didn't really grow up with Thanksgiving as like a big deal

on account of the fact that my parents were not American and so we didn't really celebrate it and I didn't have a lot of relatives that lived nearby and so we just kind of did our own thing. But now I'm like, it's grown on me,

the food, you know, smoked turkey was pretty dang good. I love a corn pudding. You ever had corn pudding? God, I love a corn pudding. Green bean casserole.

All these things that I never really had until I was an adult because I never had them growing up. And that's just kind of my experience. How was yours? It was lovely. We had some family friends visiting from England and it was their first Thanksgiving. Their first American Thanksgiving. And so they were like, what do we wear? Is it a big deal?

Yeah. Like, is it fancy? But it was fun. Had a good time. Daniel made an apple pie. Makes change from beans on toast, right? Daniel made an apple pie as he's wont to do every year. And this is the best pie he's made, I think.

It was amazing. Because the others have been um dog shit oh but but it is now december let's shut the fuck up about fall falls over about fall it's winter bitch it's maybe it's even according to the astronomical calendar the winter astronomical calendar you know what i mean bitch the fucking according to the astronomical calendar you know what my legs are up yeah i'll before we started recording al goes i'm bringing a different kind of energy to the pod today i'm like oh yeah he goes i don't i know you can't see it, but my legs are up. I got my legs are elevated as if I've been in a skiing accident. And I am loving it.

So that's the energy. Alf, how do you feel about winter? I love it. No, I don't. Why am I lying? I hate it. Winters when I was a boy growing up in Virginia were mild and brief. Much like my marriage and the uh stupid i um no i i've never really been good at like the

long haul winters which is what we experience here in the midwest chicago illinois represent go bears i suppose and um we uh you know i like to be cozy. I like winter until about January 20th. Sixth. I knew you were going to say that. I like winter until about January 6th. And then I'm just reminded of what I did. A little trip I took a couple years ago. And why I'm still in so much trouble with the government.

And I get frustrated. No. But yeah, until about January, like late January, I'm like, I love it. The holiday, New Year, everything's so fun, so much food. And then we get to like... You're an alien. Yes. And then we get to February and I'm like, fuck everything.

Holy shit. What an incoherent answer to the question. Great. So you don't like winter. I don't really, but I do this time of year. This is the winter i like i like i like the preceding year winter you know what i mean the i like the preceding new year winter that i don't like i guess is what we're learning i like the pre you know what i mean

no i know what you mean i know the winter that comes in the back here for the year your feet are up it's causing all the blood to pool in my body and my brain is slowing. I get that. I mean, growing up in California, didn't really have it. Except the kind of intro to winter

would be the Santa Anas in the late fall. And so my- What the hell does that mean? The winds, the Santa Ana winds, fire season would kind of be my late fall what are you talking about i don't know what that is you don't know what the santa ana

winds are couldn't tell you it's basically it's it's the it's these uh wind trends that come about in from the santa ana region and it's like due to certain pressures at that time of year and they're really intense dry warm winds and so it makes for a really intense fire season and so a lot of my late fall into early winter is santa anna time growing up so it'd be a lot of evacuations were there fires this year knock on wood not yet mama i'll drink to that um but uh i i know what you mean i love a preceding preceding year winter is that what you said but I love the holidays

sue me but I've said this before many times on this podcast but New Year's gives me anxiety because the passage of time but we're not there yet my therapist said that New Year's was her favorite holiday that is psychotic and I thought to myself i was like

that's why you can be a therapist yeah because you are not filled with the deepest sense of anxiety about the marching forward of time yep she's like oh it's new beginnings you get a chance to reinvent yourself every year i love it it'll never be this year again i'll never be the age i am now it'll never be this exact moment my parents'll never be the age I am now. It'll never be this exact moment. My parents are getting older. I'm getting older. Time marches forward. Anyway, but we're not here to talk about time. We're not here to talk about

New Year's because that's too early. But we are here to talk about... Smoking time. Something a little chilly. Okay. Something a little... Something a little chilly. Festive. Something a little festive. something something a little chilly festive something a little festive don't really think it's festive but what do you mean well festive is like i feel like it that has to do with the holiday i mean it's what well guys what do you think is festive about snowman building

kits that we're here to talk about today? I guess I'm being negative. And Alf said that can't possibly exist. It's true. And I've actually never seen one. I just assumed they existed. And I was right. Did Daniel pitch it as a topic?

Maybe. Stolen Valor? Stolen Valor? No, no, no. I said snowman building kits And you're like That doesn't exist And I said yes it does

Because even though I have never seen one In real life It's 2023 You have to imagine That people aren't just Out in the woods Getting two rocks

For eyes It breaks my heart I know And little twigs for arms No What these are These are plastic These are mass produced

Kits of like fake coal for eyes and like plastic carrot for nose and like felt arms and a felt scarf and hat. It's not the point of a snowman. It's not the spirit. It's not in the spirit.

Talk to me about snowman building kits. Well, I can't actually speak to shit about snowman building kits themselves because I've never used one and I will never use one. Yeah. Did you build snowmen? Absolutely. Absolutely. And what kind of materials did you make snowmen with?

So classic would be pick two of the largest tree branches you've ever seen and stick them in the arms so it looks like yeah this is less of a snowman and more of an archangel gabriel sort of thing horrifying like dennis rodman wingspan snowman um and then of course you would pick um the scarf that nobody would wear that was in the kind of communal winter wear box and then like a hat and then you know a carrot for the nose maybe most likely you're picking up some rocks and everything feature wise is going to be a rock um and it is virginia uh when i'm a boy um i experience time as a present moment um it is virginia when i was and i uh so the snowman would last about four minutes you know what i mean like it would dump snow you the snow would like the next day it would be 65 degrees right and the snow would all melt

and your snowman would die um which is beautiful but yeah the idea that you would like not just crowdsource like come on everybody what should we use for the nose what about this rock more fun it's so it's so communal it's so fun it is the spirit of the thing you know a little well kept secret is that I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah and I spent the first

couple years of my life on and off there and you're the first real housewife I'm the first real housewife of Salt Lake City

but when I would make snowmen with my mom it would be the same thing twigs sticks even rocks a top hat a scarf that nobody would use and I think we would go all out we would do with carrot or another stick probably yes right um and it's just more fun that way and also it's like other than the scarf and the hat you don't have to worry about like leaving it out there which is

like you know with these it's like oh someone go it's melted and now and then you just throw it away because it's like it's all this felt is getting right well i don't know like dirty and like dirty snow after a little bit i don't know i also it's like there's something beautiful about every snowman you make is a different snowman goes back to the earth but you know what i mean every snowman you make is a different snowman goes back to the earth but you know what i mean every snowman you make is a beautiful one of mother nature's creations one of one and they live for however long they live and then they return to the earth mother and i do think that like to dust you shall return beautiful biblical biblically accurate snowman and the uh but you know what i mean like

so many of the reviews were like oh you made frosty oh i made the archangel gabriel oh that's so cute that you made you oh i made the fallen angel lucifer lucifer lucifer i uh but where i'm like so many of the reviews were like can't wait to use this year after. I know. I agree. Rodney's back. We've made Rodney six years in a row. He gasps to life and he's like, what year is it?

Do you want to build a snowman? Who won? Who won? Trump. And then he melts again. Should we get into it? Yeah, I suppose. Do you want to start us off or should I?

Would you like to start us off or should I? I asked you first. Okay. Trouble in paradise. I will go first if you like. Okay. I'll be kind of crazy. Go off. Riley, I think you're forgetting something oh my god yeah yeah that was close holy holy i do forget lately i have honestly since the live

show when we forgot to do it i have been forgetting to set intentions and so i really i that's something i need to take a look at myself. Because it's like, why am I forgetting to set intentions? It's not something that it's like a big glaring light. The whole point of setting an intention. Sorry, I've got horrible indigestion because my feet are up. And all the food is flowing back up my body the wrong way. So let's set an intention. I do think that the whole point of saying intention is being

present i agree and i think it says speaks volumes in the future that you well that's because i have anxiety right right and i have depression which means i live in the past it's kind of that's why we're such a beautiful team hey and that's why yeah that's why we're a team because we force each other to be in a really unhappy present and Like somehow together we're able to be in a sort of horrible then and now horrifying future present. Not really in the future, not really in the past. What about this is going to be our most nostalgic. Love that. Chestnuts are roasting on an open flame. yeah let's do it nostalgic okay most nostalgic um and that was like honestly my favorite nat

king cole version of that song and he of that song. And he did sound like that. I love. He did sound like that. Hey, do you mind if I put on? It's my favorite Christmas album from when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Nat King Cole. Love it.

This is Nat King Cole. Yeah, this is kind of the demo. That was before the studios got to him and changed his whole sound. I saw three chips going silent on Christmas Day. Go. Okay. If you're going to yell, I'll start.

Go. Go. That was my Nat King Cole impression. This is for Clovis. 16. What? Clovis.

It's the brand name. Christopher Clovis. Christopher Clovis. C-O-L-O-V-I-S. 16 piece. 16 piece. 16 piece. I don't think I parsed that before.

No, that's too many pieces. Snowman Decorating Mitts. Snowman Making Kit. Winter Party Kids Toy Christmas Holiday Decoration Gift. One pack. That is my Christian birth name. That's why it's so long. Whoa, this one is going to be a good review I'm picking.

This is five stars. From Lauren H. Whoa, this is going to be a good one I am picking. I'm going to fucking out. This review that I am picking is going to be a fun having time. Whoa, my review. Lauren H. Lauren H. Lauren Heavy High Snowman.

Lauren Heavy High Snowman says five stars great quality this was great quality and we got such a big response to our snowman on facebook when we posted it lol we even had our neighbors text us to say that they love the snowman lol she ends both sentences with lol it's because it's like it's like it's so funny i don't even care about that kind of thing it's just like i guess we got a big response on facebook lol no like a little like i just posted it and just being like oh it's a silly little thing lol but then it's like every single facebook friend i have is like this is the best thing i've ever seen lol and then my neighbors like every person who lives in the cul-de-sac is texting me they love me they want to marry me lol posting upload a photo it's just a regular

snowman but with like way too many like pieces for the mouth that's where all the 16 pieces come in everything else is normal two eyes horrifying row of teeth like a shark so many uh enter okay upload photo enter text happy holidays everybody i never really use this platform anymore but i just figured i wanted to come on here and share a little bit of our holiday fun took the kids out in the snow first snowfall of the year to make sandy claws lol that's what the kids named this little guy that we made in the front yard anyway hope that he brings a smile to all of your faces this holiday season and hope everyone's staying safe and healthy xoxo Lauren oh that was just so silly to post whatever

i hope it gives people a little laugh oh a notification already that's crazy lol hi baby it's your aunt gretchen here i was pretty disturbed to see this scrolling through your wall and gave me quite a fright hope you're well hopefully this is in the back yard not the front wouldn't want anyone to get scared and then a bitmoji of an old woman looking terrified respond oh no a lot of o's and like the capital small capital small capital small oh no Aunt Gretchen this was meant to be a silly holiday fun little thing you know how you always

took me and our cousins parentheses your little ones out to the backyard and front yard in the winter time to make snowmen this is just like that but for my littles hope everyone's staying safe and healthy sending you nothing but abundance of love peace blessings and kisses xo your niece lauren

hey baby i guess it's just weird for me as your aunt i still remember you as that little girl who i would take into the backyard and also the front yard. Ha ha ha. And it's just weird to see you now using this kind of platform to put forward something this scary. I guess I figured your mama, may she rest, raised you better. If only my sissy could see you now, I wonder what she'd think

about how you're raising your little ones. Dot, dot, dot dot eye roll bit moji new comment hey gretchen i don't know if you remember me but i'm lauren's husband mark and i haven't seen you for a long time but I couldn't help but notice the really aggressive, parentheses, even passive aggressive comments on my sweet baby girl's posts. We're just having some holiday fun. And how dare you, all caps, how dare you use your platform to invoke my sweet late mother-in-law? She is so proud up in heaven of her baby girl who she raised all on her own. When Lauren's father died, when Lauren was eight months old, you barely helped at all. Granted,

I wasn't there at the time to witness this firsthand, but Lauren told me that her sweet mother, may she rest, would always ask for your help in raising her eight-month-old daughter. But all you said was, no, I've got kids of my own, and yours is kind of colicky, and I don't like that. So please stay out of our family business. Wishing you nothing but peace and health and happiness this holiday season. I hope you find some joy in your Grinch heart. And then bitmoji of a guy in a plaid shirt, kind of like looking a little disappointed. Hi, Marcus. Da da da. As my late British husband would say, chat shit get hit.

I have the receipts, Marcus. You might not have been around for this, but when my sweet sissy was raising Lauren on her own? Who was there changing diapers, being present, taking the kids to school every day? It was me, not you, Marcus. And after all those years, the last thing I want to do is now help Lauren raise her children. And I think you can understand

the old bird's tired, Marcus. So leave my family out your fucking mouth. Hey guys, Lauren here. I'm so sorry that this post has garnered so much hate and malevolence this holiday season. I only wanted to share Sandy Claus because I thought it would bring a little joy to everyone's timeline. And especially during these hard winter months. Gretchen, I know that your self-sustaining farm takes a big hit during this holiday season. And so maybe that's kind of where all of this resentment is coming from. If you need, you're more than welcome to come over to our house.

We'll be happy to make you dinner any time. I know the kids would love to see you anyway. Again, I just want everyone to be peace and blessings. Sorry, I meant. Oh meant oh sorry i'm doing voice to text no delete peace to delete beep i want everyone to have peace and blessings this holiday season and not be upset with each other that's not what this time is about i know that you changed my diapers aunt gretchen and i am still thankful for you for that to this day. Peace and blessings.

Stop fighting. Lauren. Cut to the family holiday party. Knock, knock, knock. Hello? Oh. Hey, Gretchen. Hello, Marcus.

Just Marcus, fine. All right. You're going to invite an old woman in? Yes. All right. You didn't give me a second Please come in Let me take your coat

I made these Oh beautiful They're probably garbage But you can throw them away If you like If we don't like them then we will Maybe the dog will like it I wouldn't give them to the dog

There's chocolate in there That's okay we'll figure it out this is a shoe off household please oh uh we don't want any tracking of mud and snow and parasites into the house thank you that's new but which part no i'll oblige thank you uh lauren is in the kitchen yep if you would actually give me a you. Lauren is just in the kitchen. Yep, if you would actually give me a second. Lauren's in the kitchen with the kids. They're baking some cookies for dessert. It's the holidays, Marcus.

Take a load off. Take a deep breath. Enjoy yourself. Maybe no need to rush. I don't know what you're talking about, Gretchen. I'm enjoying an old-fashioned. I'm having a great time. Natkin Cole's on the radio. Bethany said you were drinking more.

What does Bethany know about my business? Well, I just suppose she saw you the other day at the grocery store and she made a comment. I was picking up some whiskey for the holiday party. So if she sees me buying a giant thing of bullet bourbon, she's going to think I'm drinking that all for myself. No, I bought that for friends and family. Which you are more than happy to share some with you. It's at the bar.

Marcus is quite insecure shooting the messenger, are we? Nope. I'm fully secure. I just, you know, the the holidays it's a pretty stressful time and I want to be you know the bigger man and I would like to. Excuse me don't interrupt please Gretchen. I would like to apologize

for our little spat that we had online the other day and I hope that there is no bad blood between us. You are welcome in our home. And thank you very much. I was hoping i would come here and i would learn that you had been hacked um and that those messages were not in fact written by my lovely daughter uh i'm sorry she feels like a daughter to me sometimes

um my my lovely niece and her that's interesting because you weren't super present for her so i don't really understand why well i and remind me when you showed up in the picture i showed up i mean high school sweethearts i've been here for her for quite a while third act um shall we do you mind uh if i go say hello to my knees i I'm sorry, I would actually, before we go in, don't you have anything you'd like to say to me? Um, yes, you look rather dashing in that sweater. Thank you, but I was hoping for more of an apology for your behavior online. Okay.

It's not becoming of a woman of a certain age to speak like that to somebody on the internet. And what age would that be? Well, I wouldn't presume to know. No, take a stab. Hmm, what? 69? 69? 70?

Oh, you wish. I don't know what that means, Gretchen, but- I'm gonna go say hello to my niece now. Great. Very childish for a woman of a certain age to not apologize for her behavior. And I'm sorry that you misconstrued

my feedback. Cut into the kitchen. Gretchen! Oh, Aunt Gretchen, thank you so much for coming. Hello, sweetest pea. We didn't think you were going to come. Why not? Well, you know, because of the...

what happened under my photo on Facebook yesterday. Oh, so that was you. Well, of course it was me. Here I was, hoping it had been a Russian bot. Cambridge Analytica, you know? She said the same thing to me, babe. She said she thought I'd be hacked. Oh, you're here again.

Well, of course I'm here. Excellent. This is my house, and Lauren is my wife. May I have a moment alone with my niece? Lauren? Yeah, it's okay. I can handle myself. Beast of a man.

What do you want, Aunt Gretchen? An apology, firstly. From me? A slice of pie, secondly. Um, okay, well, I can give you the pie right now. And then, thirdly, to move forward. Get back to the way things used to be between me and my little girl. Aunt Gretchen, you know it makes me uncomfortable when you call me that.

Why? Well, because you're my aunt. You're not my mom. But you're my little girl nonetheless. Well, I'd actually really appreciate if you didn't call me that moving forward. Well, and I would appreciate it if I could keep calling you whatever I like. Aunt Gretchen. Yes.

I would like an apology from you. Oh, Rich. You were being incredibly rude to me on my public Facebook where my kids and your kids could see. Aren't you a little bit embarrassed by your behavior? I am deeply embarrassed. I went to the community center last night to play bingo with the girls and um they all came up to me and said some really really horrible things um cut to the cut to the community center

oh she's here cruella deville please, Beverly, I simply haven't the time. We saw you being kind of a bitch to your niece on Facebook. Oh! Beverly, you can't say that to her. What? She was. I mean, she was a right old hag. Marley! What are people gonna think about us? Beverly,

please. I am here to win big this evening, and I have no time for your nonsense. Aren't you a little ashamed? Marley, why would I be ashamed about reinforcing the values that I and my beloved late sissy tried to instill in our... my niece? Put you in your place, didn't I? Now go sit down over there. We've been thinking, the girls, we've been thinking.

And based on your behavior, I don't think it would do well for you to sit with us anymore at bingo. Oh, that's quite all right by me. Oh, so you're happy sitting with the anymore. Bingo. Oh, that's quite alright by me. Oh, so you're happy sitting with the losers. I don't think they're losers at all. The old biddies in the corner. I love those ladies,

and I always have. And I've never liked you very much. I've never cared for your behavior. They're better than thou, holier than thou aura that you and you and Beverly both project. Fine. Go sit with them if you love them so much oh if you love them so much why don't you marry them gretchen oh i would if only i weren't permanently bereaved over the loss of my dear late british husband now i'm going to go and sit with

the quote-unquote uncool ladies in the corner and and we're going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving bingo without you. Oh, Gretchen, we never see you in the dark corners of the bingo hall with the uncool girls. Oh, don't talk about yourself that way, Mandolin. Oh, we don't. We've heard you for years look over and say, oh, these old disgusting hags.

Oh, these, oh, they, they, they're so ugly. That's just unkind. That has even nothing to do with our age. You're just being very mean. Oh, water under the bridge, Mandolin. I was simply joking. Well, so

what are you doing over here, then? I was just wondering if we could get along. You got kicked away from, you got turned away from the popular girls, didn't you? Oh, I chose to be here with you. I looked

Beverly and Marley in the eyes, and I said, you're rotten, and I want to go spend some time with those pure-hearted, lovely ladies who I've always cared deeply for, Mandolin and Marsh. Marsh and Mandolin are my favorite girls. I've always said that. Now, what are we playing? You mean that? Of course, Marsh, I mean that. Now, what are we playing? You mean that. Of course, Marsh, I mean that. We always kind of thought that you hated us.

No, no. I mean, I'll be honest. On occasion, the amount of cigarette smoke emanating from your table did make it hard to enjoy your company. But I fear you switched to vaping. And as a result, I think I'm going to have a much better time sitting over here next to you lovely, lovely girls. Would you like a hit? Oh, well, you only live once. It's mango.

Oh, my word. That rips. Marsh, do you think... Sorry, Gretchen, can I have a moment alone with Marge? Oh, of course. I'll go set up my cards. B-I-N-G-E-R-S She seems nicer than she ever has. Marge, it seems like she's a big ol' fake.

I don't want us to get used again. Not like last time. Oh, come on. It will never be like last time. Last time, it knocked the wind right out of me. But this time, this time things can be different. Girls, remember- We can be different.

I was just thinking, girls. You remember when we were all in high school together? Oh, yeah. the last time. Yes, that's what Marsh and I were just talking about. I don't know why we never got along. I think we could have been fast friends back then. You slashed my tires when you saw Jacob Allen in the car with me because you had a crush on him, And then you called me a cunt.

Well, it was just a bit of girl talk, I think. I think we could all agree now that we all were immature back then. And I really don't remember that C word business. But, you know. Well, I know I speak for Marsh and myself when we say we'll never forget it. Because then everyone was writing the C word on Marsh's locker. Jacob Allen called her the C word. She won prom C word that year because you wrote on the sash instead of prom queen, prom c***.

And you asked everyone to write in Marsh. Marsh wasn't even a candidate. She didn't get enough votes for the first round. And then Marsh got up on stage. Oh, come on. No, I want her to remember. But every year. Marsh got up on that stage.

And you handed the principal the envelope. And the principal looked at you, shocked, and said, this can't possibly be right. And you said, read it now. It couldn't be more accurate. And the principal said, Marsh Bean, prom c***. And you put the sash on Marsh. And everyone started chanting, prom c*** and you put the sash on Marsh and everyone started chanting prom c***, prom c***, prom c***.

Is this ringing any bells, Gretchen? Oh, now that you say it, but it's such an honor now that every year since they've elected one. But I do remember that it was around the time that you met your British boyfriend, then soon to be late husband. Right, and that word there... You said, oh, it's different over there. And I said, well, we're not over there, are we?

We're over here in Rhode Island. Oh, but... Marsha, since we're re-litigating the past all of a sudden, I seem to remember a time when you put a pig fetus in my locker. You just happened to leave out the fact that we were science lab partners. And we were supposed to dissect it.

Nevertheless, I... And you do your share of homework. I don't think Mr. Grosh ever instructed us to put, take the pig fetus out of the classroom, open it up, spatchcock it, and then put it in my locker. I don't think at any point did he say that that was what we were supposed to do for the assignment. Listen, ladies, I don't think that we're going to get anywhere with this. If anything, Gretchen, I feel like you being over at our table is digging up a lot of bad memories, so I think it'd be best if you go.

But don't you girls remember graduation night? I think we have very different memories of that night, Gretchen. But it was the party over at Jake Allen's house. Him and I were broken up by then. And it was just you and me, and of course Beverly and Molly were there. We were sitting on the roof at Jacob Allen's house and staring out at the stars and dreaming who we might marry, what children we might have. Of course, in those days, that was all...

And then you pushed Marsh off the roof. Well, but she was ruining it. She said, all Marsh said, was she wanted to marry a cute British boy. And you said, no, that's my thing. That can only be my thing. And you kicked her off the roof. Well, I suppose I've grown soft in my old age. I'll say.

Come on, Marsh. I'm sorry, Marsh. It was never my intent to hurt you. It was just my intent to teach you a lesson. Thank you for your apology. You're welcome. I have learned that even though an apology is offered, I do not have to accept it.

Marsh, you rat bastard! You deserved that award and everyone's sins, you miserable bitch. I'm going to go over to my niece's house and harass her and her husband. All because you bitches

have been so cruel to me. Should we take a break? I think, yeah. And we're back. And we're back and we're back and we're back and we're back um what a beautiful song i hope my parents don't listen to this episode anyways um yeah i hope no one does okay Okay. Here we go. Here we go. You even ready? Are you even ready? I suppose not. This is from Toy My Toy

Snowman Kit Snowman Decorating Kit 15 Pieces Snowman Making Kit Winter Party Kids Outdoor Toys Decoration Christmas Holiday Decoration Gift.

Holy shit. It's short. It's five stars. And you can add on to this name if you want. Okay. This is from Mud Turtle. Mud Turtle Club from the 2002 film The Master of Disguise.

Great. Mud Turtle Club from the 2002 film Master of Disguise. When I was little, I really conflated that film with Austin Powers. I thought it was the same thing. I still do. Five stars stars the title is perfect did you know they filmed the turtle club scene on 9-11 yes what's the review this is perfect for kids who want a snowman i don't know why it got me because it was really giving like, you know, when parents sometimes like punish kids in the way that's like, oh, well, only good little kids get snowmen for the holidays. So if you want a snowman, I guess it'd be a great gift, but you're going to have to be nice and not naughty.

Oh, this is perfect for kids who want a snowman. If you're being a greedy little bugger, then maybe you don't want a snowman after all. Yes, I mean, if I knew a little boy who wanted a snowman, this would be perfect for him, but I can't, one just isn't coming to mind if only there were a little boy who wanted a snowman here darn oh well guess we're not adding it to the cart no mom please mom please please

please no i want the snowman mom mom, I want the snowman. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. I want the snowman. On Amazon. Mom, mom, mom, mom. You know, this would be such a perfect gift for any little boy, a good little boy, who wanted a good little snowman. I'm good. I'm looking, like, performatively looking around the room but i can't see my child

it's just me huh i guess i'll have to go back to buying books for grown-ups no no no we've got so many the house is literally full of books for grown-ups it's like a library in here come on come on this dino raptor toy would be such an amazing Christmas gift for a good, obedient little boy who listened to mommy when she said it's time for bed and to turn off the Nintendo Switch. If only, looking around the room again, if only there were a good, obedient little kid

who could play with this raptor, who would really enjoy it, If only there were a good, obedient little kid. I'm here. To play with this raptor who would really enjoy it. Because only good little boys named Ethan get raptors for Christmas. That's my name. That's literally my name. Mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Well, I guess time to get more lilac scented bubble baths for adults. No, the whole house reeks of lilac, mommy.

Please, please, please, please, please, please. I have asthma. I can't handle any more scents. Please, please, please, please, please, please. Ten pound chocolate button bag. Oh my God. And Cadbury, no less. Wow. This would be a perfect

treat for kind little boys who don't put shaving cream in the pie instead of whipped cream. It was a prank. Come on, I was just pranking you. I so wish I had a kind little boy who would enjoy chocolate like this. I'm literally so good. But I can't seem to find any. Look at me, Barbara.

Oh, Ethan. Look at me. Honey, I didn't realize that you were in the computer room with me. I'm here. I've been here. The whole time. Ethan, honey, what is enraging you so? You're saying all this stuff.

Like how there's not a little boy here who wants a raptor toy or chocolate. But I've been here. And you're treating me like a friendly ghost. This ghost is not feeling very friendly today, mother. Ethan, Ethan, calm down. It was just a joke. It was just a joke. Ethan, it was just a joke. I was just kidding. I know you're here. Shaving cream in the pie? I know you're here. You're going to be wishing I put shaving cream in the pie ever. I'm done with you. Ethan, that's not very kind.

I'm going to put shaving cream in your dialysis machine. If you think that saying naughty things like that is going to get you a raptor or chocolate or a snowman making kit for Christmas, you have got another thing coming, mister. I'm going to put shaving cream in grandma's dialysis machine mr ethan hawk slater what uh no don't you pull that little nice guy routine with me i just wanted a present i know you did but you are going to get the present of a time out so you can sit in the present and think about your words mister you go to your room you go to your room and you think about what you've done okay i'll go upstairs no i won't fall for that this time i won't fall for that this time. I won't fall for that this time.

That's not going to work on mommy. It's not going to work on mommy. You know what you can do? You know what might help you? Why don't you go read grandma a book? She's in bed. It might help you practice your reading skills and it might help. Okay.

If I do that, will I get the chocolate and the raptor toy? We'll see. Okay. Because I don't want you doing this. Oh, I don't want you being like, oh, I want to do this so that I can get something. I want you to do this

so that you can be a good little boy and spend time with your grandma. I love grandma. You just said you'd put shaving cream in her dialysis machine. It would be a prank if I did that. Go upstairs. And go be nice to your grandma.

Go be nice to your grandma. Go be nice to your grandma. Okay. What book should I read? Whatever you want. Okay, I'll pick one of your books. Old people books. One of the adult books. That's fine.

I'm sure she'll like that. Okay. Also, why do we keep grandma up so many stairs? She's so old. It seems unfair. It keeps her on her toes. Literally. Now, up up with you. Why do we keep Grandma up so many stairs? She's so old. It seems unfair. It keeps her on her toes. Literally.

Now, up, up with you. Keeps her on her ass. She keeps falling down. Ethan. I'm sorry. It's true. Grandma keeps falling. Okay, okay.

Trumps up the stairs. Stomps up the stairs. Okay, time for me to pick a book from the shelf. One of mommy's adult books. Let's see here. Let's see here. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Sounds boring and old.

I hate this family. And I hate Christmas. Hi, Grandma. Ethan? Yes, Grandma. Did I just hear you say you hate Christmas? Sometimes I feel that way, yeah. Can I let you in on a little secret?

I suppose. When I was your age, I hated Christmas too. Really? And so did your mother. When you were my age, like when you were a little girl, back

in old times, was your mom really mean too? Well, I think she was just trying to get me to be a good, obedient little girl. She would always do this mean trick on me where she would bribe me with toys and treats. My mom's like that. And then pretend like I wasn't even there. My mom literally does that.

Your daughter, my mom, does that. You know this, right? That's because I did it to her and now she's doing it to you. Cycles of abuse. That's right, Ethan. Well, Ethan, did your mother send you up here as a time out? No, she didn't send me. I came on my own volition.

And is that the truth, Ethan? No, she told me to. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to be here. You know, I've always thought you were a very sweet little boy. And sometimes you can be a little monster, pinch your cheek. But I know that deep down, you are a good boy who does deserve a raptor and chocolate and a snowman building kit. Anything you want. You mean that? Yes.

Is that a book you have for me, Ethan? Yeah, I know your eyesight's not great, so I figured maybe I could read to you? Oh, I love spending time with my grandson. So why don't you read me a bit of the book and then I'll see about that raptor. Let me turn your dialysis machine up. Sounds like you're struggling.

There we go. More kidney juice. This is some old person book I found downstairs. It's called A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

Ethan, turn the machine back down a bit, please. Grandma, I'm reading. Ethan, please. Chapter 1, Marley's Ghost. Marley was dead to begin with. There's no doubt whatsoever about that. The register of his...

Six hours later. Grandma's dead. Grandma's been dead for hours. Oh my god. And over time, Scrooge became the best fellow that London town had ever seen. Ethan! Ethan, honey, it's dinner time!

God bless us, everyone. Coming into the room, Ethan! Oh, you read Grandma to sleep! I read the whole book, Ma. She really enjoyed it. She was quiet the whole time. Ethan? Yeah, Mommy? Do I get the toys now? There's cans of shaving cream all along the bed. Ethan!

What? What did you do? I read the whole book, like you told me to. Ethan, why is Grandma covered in shaving cream? Because I read the story, and I learned the lesson. Ethan, did you really? Oh my god, oh my god. I made her a ghost so that she could haunt you and teach you the true meaning of Christmas

if she's being nice to little boys. I'm Tiny Tim and you're Ebenezer Scrooge and Grandma... Oh god. She's the ghost of Christmas past. Oh, God, Ethan, how could you do this? Tonight, you'll be visited by three ghosts. One of them is going to be Grandma. And then the next one is going to basically be Santa Claus.

And then the third one is death, I think. 20 years later, Ethan's doing Christmas shopping for his kids. It's lovely weather for us. We're right together with you. Hey, Daddy. Daddy, I have my list for Santa. Okay, Lucinda, let's take a look. Okay, I want a puppy.

All right. And I want the latest Bratz dolls, the ones with, like, kind of they've got cool boots and cool, I think, bralettes on, which are awesome. Bratz dolls, huh? If there was ever something I thought would die with my generation, it was Bratz dolls. But I guess they still make them 20 years later, huh? Alright. And I want maybe a pair of high-heeled shoes. Oh, that's a little...

Not sure you're ready for that. That might be tough for you to walk in, champ. You're still struggling with the Velcro. I know, but just so I could feel like a grown-up. Alright. Well, puppy might be tough because we already have six. The Bratz dolls, we could probably make that work.

And the high heels, I'm sure I can find somewhere online that makes a children's size four high heel. We or Santa? Sorry, I meant we as in me and Santa. Oh. Oh. Okay. Remember I explained that sometimes Daddy does 1099 work outside of his normal job? Yeah, that kind of went in one ear and out the other for me. Well, I consult for Santa sometimes.

I give him a little advice about what kids might want. Oh, that's cool. What do other kids want? Well, you know, Tony down the street. Uh-huh. He wants a new bike. Oh, I think I want a new bike now. Sure, let's add it to the list.

Why not? Anything for my little girl. Daddy, you're being really nice. Of course. Sometimes mommy calls you the ghost of Christmas past, Daddy, but I think you're being a good Santa Daddy right now. Yeah. I really wish she wouldn't do that,

but remember how sometimes we talked about how grownups hurt each other's feelings on purpose? Again, that kind of went in when you're not the other yeah it's just a thing grown-ups do and even though it's not very nice we seem to do it anyway but that's what i love so much about you kids you never hurt my feelings on purpose no just an accident right and that barely counts um all that say, one thing I do want for Christmas that I've been a little nervous to ask you about. Uh-huh. You know how I go back and forth to Mommy's house every other week?

Yeah. My perfect Christmas, and if Santa can make this happen, would be for all of us to be a family again. Oh, Lucy. We've talked about this. But I haven't asked Santa for this ever. And I've been a good girl all year. You know, all the time you're like, only good girls have married parents.

Only good girls get their parents back together. And I've been saving up all of my good girl-ness all year just to make sure you and mommy get back together. Yeah. You see, Lucy, you'll understand when you're older. There are some sins that can never be forgiven. Here on Orth. Sorry.

Here on our planet, we live nebula nine or even up in heaven and when mommy found out about one of the sins that daddy had done when he was around your age she said she couldn't love me anymore and I understood that and I chose to leave and give her space and she's very happy with Mark and we're just gonna move on Santa's never come to Earth before what makes you think that this year he'll come to our planet?

Sweetie, when the sea levels began to rise back on Earth, and we set our sights on the stars, Santa was one of the first to die in the Great Flooding. You see, his home, the North Pole, felt it. All the elves drowned first. Nebulabula nine that was a normal one that was a normal one nothing scary or sad about killing your own grandma was shaping creep in her dialysis machine should i do another review yeah why not unless you have one you're dying to do unless you have one you're dying to do let me see

let's take a peeky here okay here's I actually do like this one okay this is for the same one I did before the this is from Mark S Mark stupefied Mark stupefied which would be Mark Stupified

Mark Stupify Which would be my name if I was a magician Five stars Snowman outfit, thumbs up Snow, thumbs down Want a surefire way Not to get Daniel? Buy this or any snow toy

Cute and the grandkids were excited. However, no snow from that point on. Sorry. One more time. Okay. It's pretty clear to me, Riley. What a surefire way not to get Daniel. Buy this or any snow toy.

Cute. And the grandkids were excited. However, no snow from that point on. Not to get daniel i have to believe that somehow no got auto corrected to daniel want a surefire way not to get daniel buy this or any snow toy uh cute and the grandkids were excited however no snow from that point on it's like she got snow right twice but not want to surefire way not to get daniel oh you want to surefire way not to get daniel well buy this or any snow toy i did i did see a lot of reviews about like got it no snow yet still waiting on snow seems like you put the cart before the horse a little bit.

Want a surefire way not to get Daniel? That is crazy. That is a crazy autocorrect. Want a surefire way not to get Daniel? Sorry, autocorrect, meant snow. All righty. meant snow. Alrighty. Now we're going to cut to Samantha with the weather on the nines.

Thanks, Jason. Happy holidays, all you little reindeer. Hope everyone's staying safe on the roads this evening because we have a big, big load coming in. Whoops, and I meant storm. That was an autocorrect. We got a big load coming in. Oops. And I meant storm. We got, that was an autocorrect. We got a big storm coming in this week. That's going to bring huge showers, both snow and sleet and rain to these roads. So if you want to get out there and get horny, I'm so, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

That was an autocorrect. I meant, if you want to get out there and get ready, then you're going to want to put some chains on your tires. I'm so we're going to cut we're going to cut back to you all righty samantha that certainly was an interesting report um well i we were uh not expecting um to you for you to cut back so soon but um we're gonna go uh we're gonna go right ahead and go to uh dan uh dan daniel in the field he's reporting live from the black uh friday sales down at the walmart uh you in are you over there uh yeah i'm here man here we are here in the walmart it is the busiest day of the year for these stores we got deals on deals on death i'm so sorry i meant deals that was a typo that was a typo from the studio i meant death you know i'm

just here reading off the reading off the monitor is there any is there any worry out there daniel that the big load that samantha was talking about might have an impact on the uh the people all these people folks trying to drive home from a store today if you mean the big storm then certainly there is we got everyone putting their chains on their cocks i'm so sorry i mean their cars on their cars on their cars and the lot horny horniness that samantha was talking about have you seen any any evidence of that out there on the roads if you mean the fear if you mean the fear of driving on these black ice roads then yes again we've got people calling their loved ones saying they might be a little bit late for dinner. Alrighty. Well, thank you so much for that report.

And I guess we're just going to go ahead and say to all those folks watching at home or listening in their cars, please, please, please drive your cocksure. Sorry, drive your car. This teleprompter is really acting up. Drive your car home safe and sound and don't come on the road. Well, let's go to commercial. Producer in the studio. Guys, what is going on?

Who is running the teleprompter tonight? I don't know. I mean, is my career over? I just said cock and cum on TV. No, it's okay. I'm not firing anybody because everyone has said cock or cum or horny. Everyone's in the same boat. Who was on the roster tonight? As soon as Samantha boat started saying horny i just couldn't help myself no it's that's well that's different that's different so sorry so samantha let me just look back at the transcript yeah no samantha that was

not on you the teleprompter did say uh big load and horny and let me see daniel at black friday no he's that the transcript did say cock for him and uh jason let me just see for you over here okay your transcript seems completely fine that's so bizarre samantha samantha why don't you come over and take a look just well samantha's opinion um no i i'm in I'm in touch-ups for hair and makeup right now, so I'm going to stay over here. So there was really nothing about cum or cock on mine? No, not on yours. Not on yours, Jason.

It was happening to everybody and me too. And then it just was like, I guess mine got edited again. It's okay. We're back from commercial. So let's just all keep it G-rated. You know, we got families watching this. So especially you, Jason, just like really make sure it seems like your teleprompter is not the one

acting up. So even if everybody else is acting weird, you're our anchorman, right? You're holding it down. So you got to hold it down. I am the captain of this ship. And we're on in five, four, three, two. Well, Los Angeles isn't the only place in town. The Christmas tree lighting in town square is going to be brighter than the sun and bigger than my piece. All righty, let's go live to Rebecca reporting live from the field. She's going to be telling us about that Christmas tree lighting ceremony, which is very reminiscent of my huge member.

I'm so sorry. I'm out here in Town Square, but i jason i'm gonna get in mixed messages you uh never mind never mind i'm a bench what's on the prompter what's on the prompter okay hello everybody i'm reporting live from town square where we are moments away from the big tree lighting ceremony everyone is getting so wet. Oh, I'm so sorry. Everyone, no, it does say wet. Everyone, nope. Everyone is getting so excited.

I can't believe that was autocorrect. Everyone's getting so excited for this big, giant girthy tree to light up the night sky for us. Girthy, that's, we're gonna keep going. I'm so, I'm so sorry. Anyway, I have some friends with me here. These are local college students, Amber and Tiffany. They come to this tree lighting ceremony every year.

Girls, are you so excited to see this tree lit up? Yeah. We've come in every year for the last three years since we've been here at the college. You know, it's something that makes it real fun to live here and enjoy the christmas season oh and that's fantastic and so who's excited to get the most spank tonight i'm so i'm at who's excited to get the most well rebecca hot chocolate tonight jason we're gonna come back to you put me on that list all righty rebecca out there in the field looking berky as ever. All righty, let's take a look over and see what Samantha's doing on the forecast. See if maybe she's recovered from her mishap.

Thank you so much. I have recovered. Everything is good with my teleprompter now. I would just like to apologize on behalf of all of us, on behalf of all of us here at KTLA 5 for any confusion, any inappropriate language. We understand this is a family show, and we love to keep it that way. So again, we are so sorry. We are having a lot of issues with our teleprompter tonight,

but that being said, there is a huge monster cock on it. Oh my God. I meant I monster storm right here. Sorry, Jason. I'm so embarrassed. I'm going to throw it back to you. Please stay safe while you're driving Alrighty folks, I think it's safe to say That we are having some issues tonight And it's not all being caused by the huge load Some of it's being caused by

Some sort of hacker in our midst Who is interrupting this broadcast By hacking into the teleprompter, I suppose And I'm getting a message now from the producer that he would like me to cut to commercial and resign. Alrighty. So we're going to go ahead and cut to commercial really quick. And we'll be right back with you after this little message from.

And we're out. So obviously. No, we obviously can see what's happening now. You're always making me say all this horny cum stuff. Very odd. Right, Samantha? One, stop talking to Samantha. And two, you are obviously fired. Right.

Right. Right. And you know why. We're all fired, right? Nope, just you. Because we've been reading this smut. I see you under the... You are the hacker. I see you with the little keyboard under the desk, writing cock come big load. And it is you and everyone has eyes on you doing it.

Could have been anyone. So Jason, we are going to have to ask you to please. Samantha, you can take over for oh my god, neon anchor. Yes, you'll be anchored for the rest of the night. Short sight short-sighted. We're going to find a replacement at some point, but Jason, thank you so much for your years of hard work and dedication, and it's time for you to go. All right. Please get out of the desk.

Make me. Please get off of the desk now. Make me. Cut back. Cut back. No, no, please. We have to go back in 10 seconds. Turn the cameras on. Jason, please. I'm not going anywhere.

Jason, I swear to God, five. Guys, we're rolling. Five, four, no, three. Jason, get off the desk now. Reporting to you live from the studio, my name is Jason. I want to just say a message out there to all the lovely watchers and listeners on America's last remaining dual broadcast TV and radio station, I've always hated this city. For as long as I've lived here, I've hated it. It's one of the most boring, puritanical, least

sexy places I've ever lived. And I don't want to be here anymore. And I guess I did this to teach you all a lesson that it's okay to be horny at work. And that, in fact, it can be fun. And if you weren't all such downers, maybe this town would be fun to live in. Anyway, I hadn't really thought

any further than this. This was kind of my whole culmination, if you will. Speaking of culmination, let's see what's going on with Samantha over there at the weather. Apologies again. I don't know how many times I have to apologize on behalf of the studio tonight. Our anchor man, previous anchor man, Jason's words do not represent us or our values as a channel, as a company.

What's that? You're saying clearly they don't. Clearly, no. I was let go. Yes. No. We here at KTLA 5, we do not believe that it is okay to be horny at work, especially on – nope. Please can someone turn his mic off.

We believe that everyone should feel safe and respected and valued at their workplace. And so again, mutually exclusive with horniness. I just want to apologize on behalf of Jason and our whole team. Again, this is really not how we wanted to start our winter broadcast. We want everyone to have a really safe, happy, healthy holidays. And, you know, as everyone's out there driving on the roads tonight, please be careful of the big load and be careful. What a witch hunt.

What a witch hunt. You can't say anything anymore. This goddamn industry. Should we do our last segment? Yeah, I suppose. This check me out. Are you okay? Yeah.

What's been shaking your ass? What's been shaking me? Let's start with you. See what's going on over there. What? What's shaking you? What's shaking me is Daniel and I watched Big Fish last night. I haven't seen it in a really long time, and it was Daniel's first time seeing it.

And I was heaving, sopping. I could not stop crying. If you guys haven't seen Big Fish, it is such a beautiful film. Please go watch it. It's really great and the ending just tore me apart i forgot how fucking beautiful and sad it is and so yeah i cried a lot yesterday i cried a lot i cried a lot yesterday and then um what am i saying wrong with that no but one of my stepbrothers' girlfriends, so famously I cry all the time. Your stepbrother has multiple girlfriends?

Wait till they find out about each other. So one of my, so my step, my older stepbrother, his girlfriend. So my favorite spirit is gin. My favorite alcoholic spirit is gin. And I. Mine is Barley's Ghost. And so I was making a gin cocktail last night, but she didn't even see me making it.

And she just goes, you know, gin is the alcohol that makes you cry the most. And my mom's like, Riley, did you hear that? And she saw me like pouring. I'm like, oh, well, it's par for the course. I just don't need it much for me, I guess. Did you watch Big fish with like your mom with daniel just with daniel and my older stepbrother okay okay because watching that movie with a parent that oh no it was horrible so anyway it was like gin which i guess makes you cry

i would be crying regardless of course um plus big fish plus being on the rag um a lot of tears i was what's been shaking me is i could not believe uh how much i was able to cry last night i'm so exhausted today from crying huh make merch that just says normalized being on the rack um so yeah but yeah gin learning that gin makes you cry i guess and big fish being a beautiful testament to the power of storytelling hey um tim burton please make live action movies again i mean it's beautiful beautiful it's such a good movie i love it um so it was a pretty convoluted what shook me but i guess uh storytelling and there's other do other alcohols have i was all i love gin i mean as we all know i love gin uh i think tequila is like uh it's i don't know if any of this is true or not but

it's like yeah but that it's like tequila is the part tequila is the one that like makes you energized and happy that explains it and jen makes you cry but in my experience they all made me so nervous alph what's been shaking your ass i made those pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that you were talking about. I've made them twice now. The last two weeks. And both times I've made them. One was for a Friendsgiving.

One was for a Thanksgiving. Both times. Huge crowd pleasers. Huge hits. That cookie's a real crowd pleaser. Everyone's going, where did you get this cookie recipe? Who told you about these cookies? How do you find out about these cookies ago my co-host my colleague my colleague my peer in the sea here

in the sea ah my peer in the sea ah you've activated my pumpkin chocolate chip cookie which allows me to be likable at events in spite of my heinous personality um but yeah i love that's lovely ever since i uh moved to living alone um and i i've started cooking more again for whatever reason and i've started baking more again and it's just uh you know i don't have to be i don't feel so self-conscious about kind of dominating the kitchen for like 12 hours you know so it's been nice to to to fall back in love with the joy of cooking oh i have another what shook me really quick that i'm just remembering now you looked so scared of you yeah when you said oh oh um you forgot it already oh my god i was talking about the joy of cooking the joy of baking

loving living alone pumpkin chocolate chip I guess we'll never know no oh oh oh okay so at the time of recording no so when this comes out this comes out December 5th we will have just premiered

Chauncey Daniel and My Short Film at Dance of the Films New York. It'll be the world premiere, and we're going to do some more festivals, fingers crossed, and then we're going to release it, and I'm so excited about that. And while we're in New York,

we're going to go see, so that's very exciting, but we're also going to go see Sleep No More, which is closing forever in January. I didn't know that. Yes. So if you guys don't know Sleep No More, it's the coolest show i've ever fucking seen in my life and it's been running for like 12 13 years in new york and so we're going on thursday right about what what they said to me when they kicked

me out what do you mean they said we're gonna have to close because of this oh god it um but yeah so but we're very excited. Premier Chauncey. That's awesome. I can't wait to see it. Anything to plug. My ears. Every time I hear your grating, grating voice.

I'd like to do a little plug at the time. So today's December 5th. And today is the launch day for a, I believe it's an Indiegogo or a Kickstarter. I can't remember, but it's one of the two. And the link will be in my bio for a film that Daniel and I are a part of called Homewrecker. And it's a blast. And if you go check it out, we have a little video that kind of explains it. This awesome filmmaker, writer, director reached out to us and got us to be part of it and brought us on. And it's just such a cool story. So that's the film we're going to be making soon. If you want to go check out the Kickstarter, we'd really appreciate it. So I will link that, but it's called Homewrecker.

And we have an Instagram called Homewrecker film to check that out um yeah and i don't have anything to plug uh you can find alfred on instagram at alfred in it you can find the show on instagram at review review reddit r slash review review and the discord review i do have something to plug and patreon.com slash riley and jeff what by the time this comes out december 5th we will have started the voting that's right oh that's tough so please go to the we'll promote links for that yeah reddit discord our bios you'll find it yeah uh but yeah best of start voting for your favorite apps of the year you can find riley on instagram.com just the web browser not the phone app at riley and spot and on twitter.com now known as

dot com for as long as it lasts at Riley Coyote. And as we say every single week on the show, we're always saying it, but we're not saying it. Just nice. Just nice. Just nice.

Just nice. Bye. Bye. Bye. That was a Hidgum Original.