Review Revue - Stink Bombs

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

Alf and Reilly are back and die of fart.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds A...dvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I participate in restaurants for a limited time.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Jeffrey's ass is a registered weapon In the state of Illinois Slow down, I know what you're thinking That thang is not a toy Jeff's ass killed 22 people On a plane when he went to pee That thang behind suffocated lives And the shit got us gun-free
Starting point is 00:00:44 The only soul he ever told The thang behind suffocated lies and the shit got off scot-free The only soul he ever told about this gruesome tragedy The dependable, commendable, alleged friend Riley He's holding Riley hostage and making her read reviews She's afraid of the sheer yardage that wagon could consume Jeffrey, your time has passed Can't hide behind your ass Those ankles will not take you far away And in your resignation
Starting point is 00:01:21 A form of compensation For all the pain that you're causing every day jeff for once in your tragic life do the right thing and quit and riley don't change a thing you're absolutely perfect or do I don't know. Wouldn't you know, this theme song from Keegan was the thing that got Jeff to leave the pod. When is that from? So this was submitted February 24th. Keegan says, also, Keegan, that was dope. That crunchy guitar.
Starting point is 00:01:59 I loved it. That was awesome. Keegan said, hey Riley and Alf, I wrote you an intro song. Now I kind of fell off listening during the Christmas break. All good and wrote this before i knew jeff left the show kind of awkward that i asked him to quit in the song now hey well i'm enjoying the show with alf and have so many episodes to catch up on also come to australia um listen would love to imagine we do a live show in australia i mean that's the dream that was awesome that was such a bop um i'm curious about the physics of how jeff's ass killed 20 people i think it's like uh
Starting point is 00:02:35 sort of like like you know when a black hole is so dense that it just like sucks in matter around it okay so i was curious so it was like is you think it sucked in or you think it was so big that's like as he was getting up to go to the bathroom that it just like took out like four rows yeah maybe punctured a hole in the side even uh-huh and then people were being sucked out of the plane because it's quite bony despite its you know girth how would you know huh anyway let's get back to the show. How have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a year and a half. How have I been? Last night, I pulled a muscle in my neck while I guess I yawned weird.
Starting point is 00:03:18 And it's the most pain I've ever felt. And this is not my what shook me even. This is the most pain I've ever felt in my entire life. I'm fine now. It's like, it's still a bit sore and I feel it in like the back of my neck and even a little bit on the back of my tongue, which is crazy. But like last night it was like,
Starting point is 00:03:33 I could feel the pain going up through my skull, like on the muscles in my head, to my forehead, in my nose, in my mouth. It was crazy. It was awful. Would not recommend. But other than than that i've been good how does it feel to be a victorian uh child who's i mean so yeah sort of fragile but even a yawn can take you out for a day i mean listen i've been a a Victorian child for years, and it feels exhausting. Girl, are you the US Constitution?
Starting point is 00:04:08 Oh, fuck, I messed it up. You can start over. You can start over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretend I didn't just say that. Okay, okay. So yeah, I've been a Victorian child for years. It's exhausting.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Hey, girl, are you the US? Because your Constitution is weak. Oh, you really blew the joke. I really blew it. I more than blew it i i completely fucked it and speaking of completely fucking it how am i doing uh i guess i'm okay um i had i've had a lot of caffeine today i'm not gonna lie been up since 5 a.m that's interesting yeah what coffee are you on right now so i had a i had a large iced matcha as i am want to do start my day caffeine and
Starting point is 00:04:46 but it's got those other stuff the um it's got the other chemicals that make the cash no it does it does trust me there's other what there's other compounds in matcha scientists know this the scientists listening are backing me up that make it so the caffeine that's absolutely true um that the caffeine is so much smoother than with a normal coffee thank you so you're calling me a liar even though i'm right no it's because you didn't say that you said there are chemicals that you know that's all you said and it's like now i'm starting to understand why i flunked out of my master's in chemistry um but no i uh and then I'm having my second iced coffee right now. I'm at the end of my second iced coffee.
Starting point is 00:05:28 That's so funny because as we're setting up to record, I was like, what coffee you want? What coffee you want? I said, number one. And he's like, oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. You know why? You know why?
Starting point is 00:05:37 Because you experience a litany of negative side effects from your coffee usage. I'm fine. I'm on my third highly caffeinated drink of the day and I'm just sort of lightly buzzing. Whereas you have one cup of coffee and you yawn so hard your neck bursts.
Starting point is 00:05:57 So don't come for me. Speaking of bursting, speaking of negative side effects, speaking of nastiness. Stinkiness. We are talking stink bombs. Yeah, I bet everyone's been dying for this episode.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Ever since Riley and Jeff had that cursed idea all those years ago, people have been writing in saying, oh, what about the stink bombs episode? Oh, I really hope they do stink bombs. Oh, stink bombs would be so fun. I want to say a little something about stink bombs. Oh shit, here she goes. I'm going to cancel stink bombs. Alf and I were on the phone the other day and we were pitching topics for reviews.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Doesn't sound like a realistic story. And I said, oh, stink bombs. And Alf thought I was doing a bit. And he's like, yeah, okay. I'm like, no, I think the reviews would be fun. And he goes, okay, Riley, no, let's pick something that actually exists. And I'm like, what? Stand by that.
Starting point is 00:06:56 I stand by that. And he's like, I'm like, Alf, stink bombs? He's like, okay, no, something you can actually get on Amazon. I'm like, you can buy stink bombs on Amazon. No, you can't. And he's like, no, you can't. on amazon i'm like you can buy stink bombs on amazon and he's like no you can't explosives things that i'm like alf they're not real fucking bombs like right they're like usually a spray that's the thing that's not a bomb that's not a bomb but they do literally sell i have reviews for things that you smash on the ground and they're stinky
Starting point is 00:07:21 that's a stink bomb no it's literally not it literally is that's's a stink bomb. No, it's literally not. It literally is. That's not a stink bomb. A stink bomb would be like a little grenade that you throw in a room and there's a loud bang and the room fills with stinky mist. Okay, that's literally
Starting point is 00:07:36 a little vial and you smash it. No, but that doesn't count because there's no stinky mist. Okay, well you think they're going to sell explosives on Amazon? No, I don't think that. That's why I said they're not real. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:07:47 I'll give it to you that, like, a lot of it is, like, a spray. It's like, what if I said to you, what if I was like, oh, I've got a smoke bomb so we could make a quick getaway. And then I just pulled a spray out of my pocket that made the air smell like smoke. You wouldn't be like, oh, that's an awesome smoke bomb. I think people would be like a fog machine or bring out, like, a little mini portable fog machine't be like oh that's an awesome smoke bomb or bring out a little mini portable fog machine and be like even that is more of a
Starting point is 00:08:10 stink bomb than this shit have you ever smelled a stink bomb? yes well no because they're not real I've smelled a stinky ass fart spray or whatever what did it smell like? it smelled the one that I smelled I was in middle school.
Starting point is 00:08:25 And there were a couple pranksters, who will not be named. First and last, name them. Okay, Alfred Bartle. No, and so there was some spraying going on in a locker... P.E. locker room situation. And it just smelled, like, really awful awful you know kind of indescribable just like sulfur you know what i mean yeah and just like stinky duty yeah yeah yeah yeah not realistic not like you not like no it's so kind of chemically artificially exactly it's so kind
Starting point is 00:09:03 of synthetic smelling that like you're not ever like oh my god somebody really shit in here whoa whoa there's someone for sure took a dump it's more like oh somebody that smells there might be a gas leak like some some other natural disaster occur yes um how about you you you smell it every day right you huff it it's how you wake up in the morning smelling salts victorian lady that you are who fits me my stink of all my i think i might faint you suck i i have a memory of like probably something like the spray um but i feel like it's such i have have such private memories of seeing it in like cartoons and stuff. Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Like that always felt very real of like when you get to the military, they give you a few things. They give you this, they give you this, and they give you military grade stink bombs to get out of a situation. Like it felt very much like this is a tool that you have. And so I really did think that it was like, you know, the thing you roll in and that it was like this green gas like that, that was, you know. It's like you're an old timey detective and you're called into the chief's office and you're like, son, I'm sorry to say I'm going to need your badge, your gun and you stink bomb and you stink bombs um so yeah and i mean it's like i definitely remember like in when i was in middle school probably a prank by my stepbrothers being like smell this and it was like that spray like ass crap spray whatever and it just is gross
Starting point is 00:10:42 but but it does you're right it doesn't smell real like it doesn't smell it just smells bad like it's certainly not good but it it smells bad but not real it smells bad but not real and i guess i i don't know it sounds like we're complaining but i don't wish it smelled real no i, I'm not out here being like, oh, I wish stink bombs smelled like human shit. Doesn't smell like real human shit. But it is weird. It's weird to describe because it's like, it's a kind of synthetic stink
Starting point is 00:11:17 that no one else has ever tried to make something. There's no other context in which you try and make something smell bad. And so it's just like, you're not used to smelling that smell yeah um would you like to start us off in a review or should i i was looking for these brought me so much joy because also the names of all of them especially the sprays are so graphic and so vile that like i was dying like i can't wait to hear the ones that you have because if you just
Starting point is 00:11:46 look up stink bomb on amazon even while you're listening to this episode if you look it up you will just see the litany of names like it's so atrocious oh it's like i don't even know how to pick one because i like them um okay this is for potent wet poop, highly concentrated fart spray, extra strong stink. Sorry, one more time. I was just double checking. I think I used the word litany wrong, but that's fine. What did you say? I said potent wet poop, highly concentrated fart spray, extra strong stink.
Starting point is 00:12:24 I'm such a fucking child. I think that's so fucking funny. No, I love mine too. Hey guys, just letting you know, this episode is going to be a little gross. If you don't like doody, stinky butt school humor, then you can leave. And yeah, this podcast is highbrow, baby. I know, you're used to our, you know, Bergen, Bergane. Bergein?
Starting point is 00:12:49 Bergein, that's it. I don't speak German. You're used to, like, Ryan Gall coming on and bringing on good stuff. You're used to the polite stylings of Ed Jones. What you're not used to is potent wet poop, highly concentrated fart spray, extra strong stink. Samantha J. Can I get a last name? Jones-in for a stink.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Samantha Jones-in for a stink. This is so fucking dumb. One star! Pfft. I added the pfft. There's no pfft written in. I just added that for effect. Pfft. My husband's farts smell worse. This was purchased
Starting point is 00:13:39 to teach a kid a lesson about always ordering pulled pork sandwiches when we go out for dinner, only to fart in the car on a long ride home intentionally with a captive audience. I don't know. Maybe after years of changing stinky diapers and having a husband who could wake the dead with a fart, I must be jaded because this did not smell remotely gag-worthy. The dogs must have thought it was a mating spray
Starting point is 00:14:08 or cologne of the day. I'd be better off bottling my husband's farts and selling them on Amazon. Cologne of the day is such a crazy phrase to me. Oh, the dogs must have thought
Starting point is 00:14:24 it was the cologne of the day. Excuse me, sir. I'm just wondering. I think I'm going to do the half sandwich. And what's the cologne of the day? It's a cheddar broccoli. I love it. It's like to use this against your child. I mean, it sounds like the kid
Starting point is 00:14:39 is probably what? Like between 10 and 12? Yeah, probably 11. And like with a captive audience and that the mom has just had e-fucking-nuff of that and so her tactic is to get it's not for her to fart because she doesn't do that she doesn't do that mom so but is to buy something that will stink and then the little the little like just the thing of yeah the dogs must've thought it was a mating spray. Clone of the day. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:15:08 You didn't elaborate. What did the dogs do? I do have a crazy memory that just came out. I haven't thought about this in forever. I remember being at one of my like best friends, like my childhood, best friends houses and her mom, I had just like a big cabinet full of a bunch of different kinds
Starting point is 00:15:26 of perfume her mom loved perfume and it was beautiful bottles and i think we must have been like nine or ten and we were like sniffing all of them or like trying them on and my friend was like well you know that if you like i can mix them together and I can make like different kind of like love potions or like a mating potion or something like that. And I'm like, what? And I was fully believing that this was real. And so she had, she had dogs and she's like,
Starting point is 00:15:56 if you mix this together, the dogs will literally like be in love with you. I'm like, what? That's crazy. And so we like to mix them together. Not like in love, but she's like, that's crazy and so we like to mix them together not like in love but she's like they'll just like follow you around like they'll be like bonded to you i'm like oh my god for real and so we did it and we're walking through her house and their dogs could not
Starting point is 00:16:16 give less of a shit and we're like this isn't working like why isn't your rottweiler obsessed with me and it's like dogs are just generally usually obsessed with people so it's it's like actively might have been deterring the dog they were like holy shit these girls stink it smells so bad but i love just like going it's like the mom having to like it's like she goes this like back alley like she's like in. It's the mom having to... She goes this back alley. She's really trying to sneak by. It's dead of night. She has a big hat on. She raps on this door three times. Password?
Starting point is 00:16:57 Midnight. Midnight what? Midnight by Taylor Swift, 3 a.m. version. All right, come in. Come in, be quick. You don't know her. You weren't followed, were you? You weren't tailed, right? Of course not.
Starting point is 00:17:12 You think this is my first time doing something like this? No, I came alone. I was dropped off a mile away. My feet are aching in these heels. All right, well, you slip into the slippers. Here you go. Thank you. I've always loved the service that your shop provides.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Yeah, of course. Your shoes will be waiting. I haven't seen you around here first, for a minute. First, sorry, I'm nervous. Are you drunk? I haven't seen you. No. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:35 I haven't seen you in the shop before. What is your name? Are you new? My name is Jermaine. And no, I'm not new. I actually, I used to work this job, but I got promoted, and I'm just covering for somebody tonight. Oh, well, congratulations on your promotion. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:52 My name, I'm so glad you asked, is Diamond. I was about to. It's Diamond. Diamond. Anyway, enough of the small talk. I'm here for something a little out of the ordinary today. I know that normally I come by, I ask for love potions, I ask for, you know, some potions that make me the funniest woman in the room, but today is a little different today. I'm a little nervous to be here. And it's because today I need something that kills.
Starting point is 00:18:29 So I'm confused because you said you didn't want a potion that made you the funniest woman in the room. I said I normally want that. Right. But now you're asking for a potion that kills. You're already killing audiences with that potion we gave you last week. Thank you. No, I mean, I guess I should have been more careful with my words. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:18:43 I'm feeling very heightened in the dead of night with this stranger in a strange place. No, I need something that kills the senses. I need something that makes a stench so vile that people may rather wish they were dead than having to smell another ounce of a whiff of what I have to offer. Oh, okay. It's not really a potion per se, but yeah. I'm sorry? No, I mean, it sounds like you just want something that smells really bad rather than something that has an actual effect on people.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I think we're saying the same thing, are we not? Right, there's a subtle difference there. I want a potion that I can spray into the air to make people smell death itself. I want people to smell. I want this to have the effect that people are crying out, Oh, God, end my life. I can't take any more of this.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Okay, so you want a potion that makes people suicidal. Okay, then I can get you. No, well, not exactly right. I want a potion that makes people have the kind of idea of like, oh God, someone crack a window immediately or else I will descend into the bowels of Hades
Starting point is 00:20:01 and I will not come out again. Miss Diamond, if I may, I don't want to overstep. I know that the anonymity is part of the sort of attraction of our establishment, but I'm wondering, if I may, could you tell me a little bit more about the circumstances in which you intend to use the potion? Because I just think right now it's a little broad. I want to narrow it down, get you a really specific potion
Starting point is 00:20:30 that really takes care of what you're looking for. Do you ever ask, I feel like in past when I've, in past midnights when I've come in here asking for a love potion or a kissy potion that I've never been, I've never been questioned like this before. Oh, who are you going to use the potion on? What kind of kisses? Well, love potions and
Starting point is 00:20:49 kissy potions. This is kind of a standard, you know. That's like, you ever been to Jimmy John's? What is that? It's a sandwich shop. You go in and you're like, okay. I don't know why you're being like that. You go in any kind of fast food, anything like that. i would never go to a place where food is quick okay sure so i don't
Starting point is 00:21:12 know go to a paella restaurant and it's gonna take 45 minutes and you're like oh yes you know what i'll have i'll have the number 11 you know what i mean like when you come in number 11 i don't understand the chicken paella you know what i mean like a pre-fab option that's like when you come in and ask for a kissy potion or a love potion it's like the number 11 the paella or whatever you know what i mean but then when you ask for a potion so stinky it makes someone want to kill themselves but oh no not really just open a window you know that's kind of a custom job that's a build your own it's more of a Chipotle it's sort of a
Starting point is 00:21:52 it's sort of a different like the pepper yeah I mean like the pepper yeah but it's the name of a fast casual restaurant anyway all I'm saying is you're not asking for a prefab today you're asking for something very you're not asking for a prefab today. You're asking for something very specific. I'm asking for a bespoke, nasty, icky, vile concoction.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Stinky, rancid. And so to do that, I'm going to need a little bit more information for you about your purposes. And this is all anonymous, is it not? Nothing is being recorded. Are you wearing a wire? Uh, just my... Just my wirey frame. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:36 I'm a scrawny guy. My son. My son. God. My son. Your son is God? No! God, he's not my son. My son. God. My son. Your son is God? No, God, he's not my son. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:22:50 My son has been ripping the most dastardly diabolical farts this world has seen, and I have had enough. We'll be out in a family outing, and he will say, oh, mama, oh, papa, look, lookity, lookity, lookity-loo, lookity-loo. Lookity-loo, huh? And he'll make us all look at him, and then he rips one out, a little squeaker. Whoa. And my senses are so offended that I have to wave my hand in front of my nose and say, oh, P.U., Reginald, why would you do such a thing? Come on, Reggie. That must be stinky.
Starting point is 00:23:27 And everyone else laughs. Everyone else says, oh, what a funny little boy he is. What a charmer. What a silly little lad, but not me. And so I've had enough. I want everyone to smell what I have been smelling for the past 12 years. All right, all right.
Starting point is 00:23:44 You see, this is why I wanted to get the specifics from you. Look at it. Look at mama. Look at me. Yes. I've got just the thing reaches behind the counter. Pulls out. It's like the dustiest vial.
Starting point is 00:23:59 I've been very old. It's a very rare one. We don't get fresh shipments very often, so you know it's gonna cost you. Oh, that's great. I hope this doesn't smell fresh. No, it smells stale as communion wafers. I bet it'll be the cologne of the day where I'm from. I don't quite know what that's about, but it's basically what this potion does.
Starting point is 00:24:27 It makes you fart so fucking bad that people around you want to kill themselves. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I want the potion to smell like that. No, no. I don't do that kind of thing. No, trust me. I've never done that before in my life, and I won't start today. Lady Diamond, can I call you Lady?
Starting point is 00:24:52 If you must. Lady Diamond, trust me. It's the only way. You gotta start ripping ass that can rival your kid's sass. It's the only way. Ripping ass, as you say, to rival... The kid's sass. It's the only way. Ripping ass, as you say, to rival my kid's sass. Sass, that's right. And here's what you're going to do.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Next time you go out, does he usually eat something specific to get the farts going? What? That was a question. I thought you were saying something else. He eats anything, really. It's incredible. Any food that boy ingests causes the most awful, horrific farts known to man. All right, so he throws a handful of trail mix in his mouth.
Starting point is 00:25:38 You're in the car. He squeaks out a chirper. Everybody's eyes are watering. And then you, drip, drip, take a chirper. Everybody's eyes are watering. And then you, drip, drip, take a little potion. You honk that thing. You let out gas. Well, that's not very ladylike.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Do you want to be a lady or do you want to discipline your son? You want to be a lady? I want to teach your boy a lesson. You make an excellent point, but... I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous. Having never, ever done that in my life. You've never farted? Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Why can't you just say no? I'll take the potion. But if it doesn't work, I'm burning this place to the ground Whoa, whoa Metaphorically I'll leave very bad reviews amongst my wealthy circle of friends Alright, madam I assure you
Starting point is 00:26:36 Our products are anything if not effective How much is this going to cost me? 30,000 pounds. Done. Oh, okay. In a trolley with my family. Hey, guys. Oh, hello, Reggie. Yes, darling. Hey, Dad.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Yes? Smell this. Oh, Reggie. Reggie, that was good one. No, it's not funny, Desmond. It's not funny. Oh, lighten up, Diamond. Reggie.
Starting point is 00:27:11 It's real name. Reggie, do you actually think this is funny? Yeah, Mom. It's funny as heck. I just farted and it was really bad. Even Dad had to laugh, so. It's true. Under my breath, I'll show you funny I need a little sip oh gosh oh no are you alright yeah hey everybody looky What? Lookie-loo at me. Okay, I'm looking.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Ha! How's that? For... For... Oh, yes. What is wrong with you, dear? No, it's not me. It's... It's just... It's not about me.
Starting point is 00:27:59 It's just about the stench. Isn't that smell awful? Driver, take us to a hospital. No, no, no. There's something terribly us to a hospital. No, no, no. There's something terribly wrong with my wife. No, no, I'm fine. I'm all right. No, it has nothing to do with me.
Starting point is 00:28:11 It is I was just trying to teach Reggie a lesson. Isn't it horrible when someone makes a stink like that, Reggie? I'm going to have to kill myself. Desmond! Ah, it leaps from the trolley. Daddy! Daddy! Mom! What did you do?
Starting point is 00:28:32 Reggie, I didn't do anything. I was just trying to teach you. I was trying to discipline you. I either had to be a lady or discipline my son, and I chose the latter. I'm sorry, Mom. It smells too bad. I gotta go.
Starting point is 00:28:44 He leaps from the trolley. Driver, you'll still stay with me, won't you? I don't normally do that kind of thing. She turns around. The driver's already gone. He's left from the trolley. She's alone, careening towards the wall. Well, bottoms up. Chug the rest of it.
Starting point is 00:29:08 I explode before the trolley hits the wall. News at 10. A local woman exploded in a fiery crash that smelled so bad, the whole town had to be evacuated. More at the hour. Diamond's her real name? Diamond was her real name. Should we take a break?
Starting point is 00:29:33 She farted so bad. She farted so bad that she exploded. Her whole family died and she exploded. Just a normal scene here on Review Review. We'll be right back. Sorry, I just farted so bad. I blew up. No way.
Starting point is 00:30:12 I can't believe I chose to do a voice that hurt me for the first five minutes. It sounded like it hurt you. And I have to record the whole rest of the episode. Yes. This one is for Liquid Ass Spray Mr. Fart Prank Pooter Stink Bottle Smell Bomb. I'll repeat it once more. Liquid Ass Spray Mr. Fart Prank Pooter Stink
Starting point is 00:30:33 Bottle Smell Bomb. That was actually by a nickname in college. The whole thing. The whole thing. This is from Dwayne C. Okay. Dwayne Cock Johnson. I knew you were going to say that. Dwayne Cock Johnson. I knew you were going to say that. I'm not doing that one.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Come on. Okay. This is from Dwayne Crikey, what a fart. I love where my line is drawn. I just farted so bad I blew up, but I draw the line at Dwayne Cock Johnson. Yeah, it's pretty remarkable the hypocrisy you're capable of.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Five stars. The title is Really Stinks. To me, it doesn't smell like a fart would, but the stench is more like cat, rat, bat, horse, dog, cat, and human feces that had been marinating in plastic container for months. I bought this to prank my wife since she complains that the farts I cut smell like death since I am lactose intolerant and since I love milk products, so I figured why not? I love that cat was twice in the list. Cat, rat, bat, horse, dog, cat, and human feces i love the it's like he farts so bad that he needs to get back at his wife it's like the inverse of the last one where it's like someone else is farting so you have to get back at them which was like a common theme throughout a lot of these reviews but the idea that like
Starting point is 00:31:59 yeah she's always complaining about my farts so now i gotta gas her it's like it also gave me vibes of like have you seen the videos that's like prank my wife like she gets so mad and there's what i remember seeing one recently and it's just like it's just mean like it's not a joke it's like this this woman was like decorating a cake and it's like it looked like it had been really really you know really specifically done very ornate very. And her husband just comes over and like dumps like cream on it or like does something. She's like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:32:29 And he's like laughing his ass off. And it's like just pranks like that where it's like, oh, pranking my wife. And it's just like bullying. Like, it's just, it's not, just doing that for views. Even people in the comments are like, what the hell's wrong with you, man?
Starting point is 00:32:44 Like that was fucked up. Just come home after a long day of work. Hey, I'm back. I'm home. Oh, Jack. Hi, honey. Oh, my God. Long day.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Long day. Long day. Well, maybe you should sit on the couch and watch some TV. Oh, that's sweet. But I think I'm just going to hop in the shower first. No, maybe you should just have a seat and watch some Reno 911. Oh, that's my favorite show. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:24 So you should just sit on the center of the couch. Huh? Looking at my phone. Watch this. Watch what? Nothing. That was just for me. Like watch this show that you love.
Starting point is 00:33:38 I, you don't mind. I, I still have all the, you know, my clothes are dirty from the plant and you, you really want me to sit on the couch that is so fine i can deep clean the couch later i want you to have a restful evening
Starting point is 00:33:51 oh thank you thank you thank you sweetie it's been a really it's been a really long couple weeks i know i look at my phone do like it things you know things of the plant have been really really tough since you know the accident and the mood yeah yeah I'm I you know Dwight you know he fell he slipped gosh. He slipped into the vat. Not the vat. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, he hasn't been the same. And his wife, you know, she calls every day.
Starting point is 00:34:34 It's just... Did he die? No. That's good. He wishes he did. Look at my phone again, like, whew. Anyway, enough about work. He wishes he did. I just need to decompress a little.
Starting point is 00:34:47 But you're fine, though. Yeah, I guess. You're my big, strong guy. Yeah, no, I mean, I'm okay. The sessions with Dr. Wilson have been helping. I didn't know you were seeing her again. Yeah, no, just the last
Starting point is 00:35:02 couple weeks. I didn't want to worry you, but it's been helping. So looking at my phone, like, oh, but yeah. So anyway, um, I'll, uh, yeah, I guess I'll take the load off. Yeah. Why don't you? It'll be, it'll, it'll lift your spirits, but everything's okay though. Right?
Starting point is 00:35:23 Like before you sit down, I just want to make sure that everything's actually fine. Not really. No, I mean, I just told you I've been forced back into counseling. My best friend at work was in an accident. It's been really tough
Starting point is 00:35:42 actually. I'll make it through and I'll do whatever it takes to support you and the kids always. We made that promise to each other and I'm going to honor that forever. Thank you
Starting point is 00:36:00 for your support. I think I just got to take it easy for the next little bit yeah look at my phone like okay here we go what was that nothing why don't you sit i feel like you're whispering a lot today i'm just talking myself i've said oh i know it's been through so much i know i don't hear i am just rattling how was your? I haven't even asked you yet. Wait, I'm fine, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Are you really? Yes, I just mean like whatever happens,
Starting point is 00:36:32 like our love is unconditional, right? Yeah, I mean, what do you mean whatever happens? Just like whatever happens, like you're my guy and I'm your gal, right? Of course, that's what we always say. Yeah, so why don't you sit down?. That's what we always say. Yeah. You're my gal. So why don't you sit down? Because it's like we can do no wrong to each other, right?
Starting point is 00:36:50 Haven't yet. Haven't yet and never will. Why don't you sit down? Sure. You're making me nervous today. No, no, no, no. Just sit down. Where are the kids by the way? They are on playdates, So it's just us
Starting point is 00:37:05 Oh okay Sit on the couch Yes ma'am I think I know where this is going Sit down At first there's like a little whoopee cushion Oh I get it
Starting point is 00:37:23 There is a whoopee cushion Why don get it oh you there is a whoopee cushion oh why don't you turn on the tv oh okay presses the remote the tv opens a comically sized like boxing glove comes out Punches right in the face. Oh! Getting it all on camera. Oh! Oh! That was a prank. That was a little prank. Oh, got my husband after his work.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I bit through my lip. Oh my God. I think I bit clean through my lip. Oh, got him. Oh, and we're not done yet. What? I hit the ceiling fan, and it just sprays like a horrible stink bomb. Oh, P.U.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Jack, what did you have for lunch? I didn't. I've been skipping lunch. What? I've been working through lunch. There's too much to do with the plant Without Dwight Oh well maybe you want to pet our dog I let the dog in
Starting point is 00:38:33 And it's not our dog It's like a Belgian Malinois Coming to like tear your arm off Where did this dog come from I borrowed him from the police academy down the street. Borrowed? I don't think they do that. Release! Release!
Starting point is 00:38:53 He stops. I love you. Isn't this so silly? I think I might be going into shock. I'm putting the phone right in your face. Isn't this silly? What the fuck is wrong with you? What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Cutting to me in our room. I'm editing it together.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Okay. Adding some text over. Let's title this. All caps. Wife pranks husband after long day at work. L-O-L. So stinky. There's a knock at the door.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Upload. Hello? Hello. Is this 428 North Farbridge? Is the Pope Catholic? Yeah, that's us. What can we do for you? I'm not here to talk religion.
Starting point is 00:39:48 You are Miss Scandmore? Mrs. Scandmore, thank you. I love my husband. Not for long. You've been served. What? These are divorce papers. Where's Jack?
Starting point is 00:40:05 I thought he was upstairs I don't know anything about that ma'am I'm just the guy who delivers the papers So You're acknowledging receipt I'm gonna head out now Thank you for your time Jack?
Starting point is 00:40:22 Yeah? Jack where are you? I thought you were upstairs at home. I'm still in the fucking hospital, Marie. Oh, I thought you were done with that. No. You messed me up really bad. It was a prank. Honey, it was a joke. And what are these?
Starting point is 00:40:42 I put you on FaceTime. Honey, what are these? Divorce papers? Come on. Are you? What are we, 12? What are we in middle school? Name a middle schooler who's ever been divorced. I mean, like, is this really the kind of reaction that I'm going to get from you of like, oh, I pull one prank and now you're this mad? It's not one prank, Marie. You're right. It was a super prank, Marie. You're right. It was a super prank. Okay, there was like four pranks in one. The doctor told me
Starting point is 00:41:08 if you hadn't told the dog to release, five more seconds, my arm would have been off. Chewed straight through. But I didn't, and I did. Whatever that stinky, stinky stuff from the fan was, it burned me, Marie. Chemical burns. Do you have any fucking idea how painful that is?
Starting point is 00:41:32 I got a couple too. We're in it together. Good. You're my guy and I'm your girl. Have you forgotten that? You're a fucking sociopath. But right before the prank ensued, I said our love's unconditional, right? And you said yes. And then we confirmed that I'm your girl and you're my guy. Don't ever contact me again. By the way, I'm petitioning for full custody.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Fuck you. I was recording the whole thing at the same time. Weeping, uploading to TikTok. Husband devastates wife. 4K. Big tears. And the photo on the video is just me making a big, bad, sad face. And holding the divorce papers.
Starting point is 00:42:23 No LOLs here. Upload. It's a courtroom. As you can see, Your Honor, the pattern was blatantly clear. Gestures to a screen. There's a YouTube playlist with a hundred videos in it. Over the course of the next eight hours,
Starting point is 00:42:41 I'm going to take you through the last six months of this marriage and you're gonna see pretty clearly who was in the right and who was terribly terribly wrong you may uh play the first video now it's me holding the phone okay okay hi guys it's it'sent Marie here, and we're going to do a breakfast prank on my husband. He's about to go to work, and let's see how he likes his eggs. Good morning, honey! Comes into the kitchen. Hey! Good morning! I take an egg and I just throw it at his face.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Whoa, fuck! Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I thought you liked your eggs scrambled. Do you not? What the hell did you do that for? I take one and I just smash it into his chest. Oh, Marie, I'm not in the mood for this. Oh, it's breakfast time.
Starting point is 00:43:38 But maybe we should get some toast. The toaster had been right under him. I release it. It shoots right up his ass. When the hell did the toaster had been right under him i release it it shoots right up his ass oh when the hell did that toaster get so powerful oh um oh and don't forget your coffee poor cough scald and coffee on his feet oh fuck marie you're fucking losing it. I gotta go. Play for work. I love you. You're my guy.
Starting point is 00:44:07 I'm your girl. You're my gal. You're my gal, Marie. You're my gal. As you can see, Your Honor, this is just one. The jury's laughing. The jury's like, that was really funny. That was really good. This is no laughing matter, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Things are going to take a pretty dark turn. Can you skip to video number eight, please? It's her. She's at work. She's sneaking up behind Dwight. She pushes him into the back. Jay's work. The title of the video is Insane Husband Workplace Prank
Starting point is 00:44:46 Sirens start going off Holy shit, holy shit There's a man in the vat Man in the vat Man in the vat I turn the camera towards me Oopsie She's losing it
Starting point is 00:44:58 She's laughing so hard Dwight's drowning in the vat It's like a neon green, like sludge. Simpsons. Yeah. Fucking vat. Marie's sitting, just watching the video. It's funny.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Is it funny, Marie? He didn't die. Your Honor, I'd like to call my next witness, Dwight. Oh, I love this guy. He's a good sport. Dwight, how did you feel when you learned that it wasn't an accident, and it was actually your co-worker's wife who pushed you into the vat of green goo? Well, do you want the...
Starting point is 00:45:40 Do you want the... Jury, please do not laugh. That is his voice post vat exposure it's not a laughing matter it's very serious the vat made his voice like this just want to make that very clear do you want the short
Starting point is 00:45:58 answer or the long I guess long Marie saved my life that day by pushing me into the vet what? my wife and I were in a hole so deep they didn't seem any way to get out once Marie's views
Starting point is 00:46:17 started ticking up and up and up she split some of that revenue with us and now we have a timeshare so I just want to take this moment to say She split some of that revenue with us, and now we have a timeshare. So I just want to take this moment to say thank you, Marie, for changing Lisa and my life forever. Your Honor, I'd like to...
Starting point is 00:46:37 I'd like to expel this witness. Is there anything we could do? Jury, please wipe that from your records. Jury, wipe that from your memory. Jury's frantically scribbling. Objection. That's illegal. He said what he had to say.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Jury, keep that in your books. Marie. They're rewriting it in again. Okay. I've said my piece here today, folks. At the end of the day, this isn't a trial about man and a woman a wife and a husband this is a trial about wrong and right and over the course of the last eight hours i think we've seen ample footage taken by her own hand that shows the level of sickness and
Starting point is 00:47:21 premeditation that she's capable of. And I hope you consider that when you go into deliberations this evening. They went there 30 seconds later. Oh, we've reached a verdict. Whoa, that was fast. Okay. Not guilty. She's not guilty.
Starting point is 00:47:35 What? How? Because she made people rich and happy, so that can't possibly be bad. Not her husband. He nearly died. It doesn't. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:47:47 To us. This blows. I quit being a lawyer man doesn't wonder where she rolls like a stink bomb into the court um get a load of this judge what the hell judge dies judge dies bail Bailiff pulls a gun. Shoots it. The gas ignites. The whole building blows up. Woo! And that's another end. Good.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Wrap up all the loose ends with a big explosion. Okay, this one is from Extra Strong Fart Spray Prank. Stuff and joke toys for adults or kids non-toxic mm-hmm five stars from Rachel no last name Rachel Ray
Starting point is 00:48:37 Rachel Ray must read review so I decided to prank my boyfriend and his family I don't know how I contained my laughter with his entire family confused
Starting point is 00:48:53 and wondering what caused this horrific smell but about an hour later when I finally revealed to him that it was me with the fart spray he pretty much broke up with me. So be warned. If you buy this
Starting point is 00:49:09 fart spray, your boyfriend might break up with you. She's just left. Steven, why did you have to go and do a thing like that? I'm sorry. Ma, you don't understand. It's not just tonight. It's...
Starting point is 00:49:27 It's always with this. No, but Ariel's such a great girl, and of course, you know, maybe it was a little crass for our taste, but we love her, and we love how much she loves you. Oh. Now you're making me think I screwed up, Ma. Well, maybe it did. I mean, have things really been that bad that this was the last straw? Well, you just don't do that to a fella. Not in front of his family. Am I wrong? Dad, if you'd been courting Mother and she'd done something like that to you,
Starting point is 00:50:05 you wouldn't have just stood there and take it as she made funny in front of your whole family, would you now? No, I would have done worse. Sorry? What was that, Pa? Nothing. I mean, I think, you know, yeah, yeah, a girl doesn't do that to a fella. Oh, come on, Alan. It's not that bad. It was a bit of lighthearted fun for the kids. She made me look a fool, Ma. She made him look a fool. She made him look like a little bitch.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Oh, stop it! I will not have that language in my house, not in front of my mother! I'd like to say something. Go ahead, G-Ma. I think she's a very lovely girl. But I think that that was kind of low-hanging fruit to do a bit of a fart joke. So if you want someone that maybe has a quicker wit or a little bit more of a highbrow taste, you could find her, but I don't think it was anything that bad other than just she's not very funny. Not very funny, eh?
Starting point is 00:51:14 Yeah. I guess she's not. But if you love her, then go get her. No, I don't love her. I never loved her. The kid doesn't love her. She made me look a fool in front of my whole family The kid doesn't love her. She made me look a fool in front of my whole family. I can do way better.
Starting point is 00:51:28 She made him look like a weak idiot. I don't know if I looked that weak. I think I might have looked a little silly, but I don't think I looked like a weak idiot. She made him look like nothing. No. I'm
Starting point is 00:51:43 sitting here watching her laugh her head off while our son is there. And I thought, that is no son of mine. Well, now I'm going to miss. That is no son of mine. I played along. Anyone, let alone a woman, make him look like a fool in front of his family now father it's 1955 i'm not gonna sit here and let you deride the whole fairer sex like that mother grandmother you can't abide this kind of talk sure i can't and alan we will be having a discussion tonight, but Stephen, if you love this girl, do you?
Starting point is 00:52:27 No, I really don't think I do. It was as if, with that single fart, my whole image of her shattered. And I realized what an ugly thing she was. She's in the doorframe. Oh, I'm so sorry. Judy! Judy! I forgot my purse. But it doesn't matter now.
Starting point is 00:52:49 No, Judy, wait. I didn't mean it. Oh, fiddlesticks. No, don't go after her. She had to hear it. She's what, a two? Alan, what is wrong with you? You could at least try and be nice to the girl.
Starting point is 00:53:03 She's a dog, honey. Father! We don't allow inside dogs here. She may not be inside dogs. Wait, what? We only have outside dogs. Like, you know, the one that you just kind of trust that will just not leave. And it likes being outside more. Are you calling mother an outside dog? Your mother's different.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Yes, I'm not like other women. I hate you both. I'll prove you wrong. I'm gonna marry that girl. Grandson, don't do anything that you will regret. No, maybe I don't love her. Maybe she is a two, a dog even. But just because you don't like her, that's why I don't love her. Maybe she is a two. A dog, even. But just because you don't like her, that's
Starting point is 00:53:48 why I'm gonna marry her. I'll prove you wrong. She's in the doorway again. I'm sorry. I forgot my coat. Oh, you forgetful little so-and-so. Come here. Will you marry me?
Starting point is 00:54:03 20 years later. They're married. It's their house. At the breakfast table, nothing to say. Sorry. Oh, no. No, I can't. I can't. Everything all right, Judy? Oh, no, I can't, I can't. Everything all right, Judy?
Starting point is 00:54:28 Oh, yes, no, it's, um, I, I, no, you wouldn't, you wouldn't approve, you wouldn't like it, so I'll keep it to myself. I told a funny at work today and got the crowd going. I do love how you work those early morning shifts and you come back for breakfast and tell me about how work was today. Now, what happened? Please, come on. I want to hear your funny. You're my funny girl. You're my funny girl, Judy.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Tell me you're funny. You're my funny girl. You're my funny girl, Judy. Tell me you're funny. Okay. Well, I said knock, knock. Who's there? Pfft. It really got everybody going. You didn't think
Starting point is 00:55:24 it was funny. Still haven't learned, have you? Putting the fork and knife down. Steven, you can't change a tiger's stripes. I'll always find farts funny. I know. I'll always think butts are the butt of the joke. I always think that the stink is the thing that gets me going. Yeah, that's right. You think that ass is class, you know, that crapping is happening.
Starting point is 00:55:58 And it was more the fool me to ever think I could change that about you. And look, I know you only married me to spite your father And spite him you did That's not true I was there that night Oh, that's right I heard everything you said I know that that's true
Starting point is 00:56:13 Rats I may love farts, but I'm not an idiot No No, you're not You may love farts You might even be a two, an outside dog, but... You're no idiot, Jude. I'm sorry I ever tried to change you.
Starting point is 00:56:36 I'm sorry that you never got the chance to be with a man who loves farting as much as you. Thank you for saying that. You don't think you ever could try? I don't suppose so. I think it's better now if we stay married
Starting point is 00:57:02 and never speak again. Wait. Before we embark on that silent journey, pull my finger, won't you? Oh, Judy, must I? Please, it would mean the world to me. Oh, I suppose I owe you at least that. Yoink. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Rips and shy and far. Oh, Judy! I did get you, didn't I? Oh, she's still got it. Oh, Judy. Judy, I think I'm going into some kind of cardiac arrest. Judy, I'm not joking around. No, no.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Stephen, believe me. Oh, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy. Stephen, I had just gotten to make you laugh a little bit. And with that laugh, I pass. Oh, my God. Gas. Gas. And with that laugh, I pass. Oh my god, gas. Gas. We've had now three scenes.
Starting point is 00:58:12 That's correct. Where people die of fart. Three scenes where people die of fart. Okay. Okay, let me track that. Yep, so there's the first scene where people die of fart. And then there's the second scene, of course, where there was a big explosion and they all died of fart. Yes. Yeah, I guess there's a lot of dying of fart.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Do we have time for one more? Yeah, why not? We can see if anyone dies of fart in this. Okay, here we go. So this is one for like the little glass vials that you just like smash down and it's stinky. So it's called the Drado Company St glass vial vials novelty i think an underrated part of that is that like not only does it stink now there's glass everywhere like in many ways yeah that's more annoying than it's smelling yes so this is five stars from Kevin P.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Okay. Kevin Porter. Kevin Porter. Renowned podcaster. Nasty little guy. Okay, five stars. The title is, They Smell Exactly Like When I Was 10 Years Old.
Starting point is 00:59:16 What? Oh my lord. First of all, I'm 45 going on 12. I dropped one at one. Oh god. oh my lord first of all i'm 45 going on 12 i dropped one at work thinking it would be funny someone said whoever did that better make a doctor's appointment because something's wrong then someone said that's not shit. That smells like a gas leak. I just ran.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Raining, they stink. Already, I'm 45 going on. I'm 45 going on 12, man. You're in a job interview. Hey, thank you for coming in, Stephen. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I honestly can't believe you even pulled my resume.
Starting point is 01:00:13 I have been dreaming about even being able to interview for years. So this is an honor for me. Well, honestly, Stephen, if I can be honest, you know, your resume, it doesn't really stand out, but that cover letter you wrote, my God, the passion, you know, the joy with which you talked about working for the company, that is what set you apart. And so I read that cover letter
Starting point is 01:00:33 and I said, by golly, I got to meet that guy. Oh, wow. Well, that's very kind of you, sir. Can I ask, I guess what part of the cover letter, if my resume didn't stand out, what part of the cover letter really made you want to bring me in? Well, son, you know, I don't want to be indelicate here, but...
Starting point is 01:00:54 Please, be indelicate. I can handle it. We've got kind of a culture problem at the company. I don't want to play my hand too much, but everybody who works here is a little bit self-serious. A little bit... Oh, went, went. Exactly my thinking. You know, me, myself, I'm sort of a jokester type, and being the boss man, I can't really play any of my practical jokes or really rib anybody. Oh, I think I see where this is going and so when i read your cover letter and you talked about you know your story of when you
Starting point is 01:01:35 pulled your boss's pants down and everybody saw his ass and they laughed you know it was penis and his whole penis was yes on display i've forgotten that detail that's really funny uh it just made me think that's thank you for saying that that's the kind you know anybody can do excel powerpoint you know not me i don't know how to do those things we could teach you and more important is the culture of the companies, the attitude of the person. So I just wanted to bring you in and meet you. See if you're as funny as hell in person as you are in those letters. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Pinch me. I'm dreaming. You're not. You're not. This is unbelievable. You're very awake. You're wide awake. I guess before we continue, I'm feeling a little hungry
Starting point is 01:02:27 Can I offer you some nuts? I pull out a little can Would you like any? Nuts? Sure, it's so generous Opens it, it's like the snake that comes out I gotcha I gotcha That is good
Starting point is 01:02:42 Are you crying? No, sorry it's just oh it's been so boring here you don't understand how boring it's been and i'm just like it's really really exciting to have somebody like you my god come into this place and give it a bit of life again so i i'm hired is what you're saying you got the job oh my god this is an honor this is an honor can we at least shake on it shake me zap i'm sorry i didn't mean it shouldn't be that painful i didn't mean to make you cry. I hope I didn't hurt you. No, it's not painful. It's just, it's been so hard. How everybody here is so boring and mean. Got to look a couple months ago.
Starting point is 01:03:38 He's like trying to mingle with, the boss is trying to mingle with people during lunch. Yeah, so I was looking over those numbers and they honestly, it it's like we're kind of in the red at this bright dog how's it going bright dog hey boss i'm uh good we're just we're just talking shop over here oh put me down like a sick dog come on what are we really talking about that's uh you know lucy actually had to put down her dog this past weekend no i'm just serious guys i know you you're thinking i'm just the boss you can't talk about anything with me but seriously what is going on around here um well i had to put down sunny um he had cancer and it was
Starting point is 01:04:21 just kind of only a matter of time before it's like he was just in so much pain. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. Oh, that sucks.
Starting point is 01:04:35 But we're actually talking about. Boring story though. Okay. We're actually talking about how our numbers aren't doing great. And so it sucks to have to be working over lunch. But that's just kind of the place that we're in right now. Fake dog, probably. What?
Starting point is 01:04:49 Dog probably wasn't even real. She just made it up for attention, I bet. Sad to see. You're right. Sir. Pardon my language. You don't need to call me sir, guys. Call me Freddy.
Starting point is 01:05:02 Okay, Freddy, what the hell is wrong with you? She's really upset. She had that dog for 12 years okay obviously the dog was real then and i'm sorry i was just trying to lighten the mood everyone's so down all the time who cares about the numbers what about the people it's your company you're right it's my to, like, be the worst boss ever, and everyone hates me. Oh my god. No, it's okay. I guess I'll just take my best mug, my fuck, take my best boss mug and throw it out the fucking window and go out and buy a gun. Oh my god! I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm being dramatic.
Starting point is 01:05:46 I'm not gonna do that. Cut back! Whoa. Yeah, so as you can see, people around here are all... They sound like they suck. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Should we do our last segment? Let's do it. This shook me all week long. should we do our last let's do it this shook me all week long I have mine okay go first then you fucker so this is so at the time of recording
Starting point is 01:06:18 sorry spoiler it's the end of March no stop they're gonna know it's the end of March um I so Elizabeth Valentabeth valentico the other night and we wanted to watch a television program or a film but we couldn't decide on what to watch and so if you tell me you watched rocket man again i'm gonna scream no we almost did we almost did but then i'm like i can't i i love rock thank you for that thank you for that but so we were scrolling through because she we were talking because i started um i'm very behind but like the latest season of the circle the most recent one that came out which at this
Starting point is 01:06:52 point is very far so i i love the circle and so i'm on like episode three or four she'd already seen the whole thing because again i'm very late to it this season um but then she was talking about this other reality show that she wanted to watch called the Mole, which I guess had come out months ago. And I haven't I hadn't seen it. I didn't know anything about it. And I'm like, that sounds dumb. I don't want to watch it. But then we're like, OK, well, let's watch.
Starting point is 01:07:12 We kind of are in the vibe for like a silly reality show or something. And so we couldn't land on anything. And so we just did the thing of like, OK, I'll close my eyes. We'll both close our eyes. I'll just scroll through. And then you say when. And so we did end up landing on The Mole. so elizabeth was like yes let's do it i'm like fine i am hooked i am hooked i'm on episode three it's all i want to watch all morning
Starting point is 01:07:36 i've been like damn i'm excited to record but at the same time i just want to watch the mole all day what the fuck i literally like it's a kind of show where like i can't i don't want to stop watching it so even I'm brushing my teeth I'm having it playing on my phone I'm in bed Daniel's asleep I'm playing it on silent with it's four in the morning you haven't slept a wing I love it and then like Daniel Daniel's not watching it with me he's seen like bits and pieces but it's like in the morning I was like you won't believe what happened and he's like okay so I don't care actually I have ideas of who the mole is it's fascinating it's what's also funny about it is that the host of the mole this is
Starting point is 01:08:10 like the 2022 2023 reboot of the mole i guess it had come out in like 2004 or something oh i didn't know that series i didn't know that either but um the host of this new one and i were dying because i guess she's like an msnbc correspondent and by i guess i mean she is because when series opens like she comes out and the way that she enters is the energy of like you all know who i am we're like who are you literally who is literally no one had any kind of like no light bulb moment nothing and she was like yeah it's me like kind of holding her arms out like didn't bet you didn't expect to see me here yeah c'est moi and we looked her up and she has like a segment on msnpc but it's just very it's like the her energy is just like uh yeah
Starting point is 01:08:57 i'm here i'm here i did the So anyway, The Mole is an incredible television program. Good for the rec. I'm looking forward to watching that. Always looking for recs. What's been shaking your ass? I think The Traitors, which is the Alan Cumming reality show. Very similar vibe. I want to watch that.
Starting point is 01:09:18 No, I don't. Alan Cumming has a reality show? Alan Cumming hosts a reality show called The Traitors. Is it airing? Is it current? Yeah, it just finished. What? It's a British show. I believe. And they're making a US
Starting point is 01:09:33 version of it. As we speak. Or may even be airing right now. I don't know. Amazing. But yeah. I think my what shook me is Cocaine Bear. Oh, what'd you think?
Starting point is 01:09:48 I haven't seen it yet. I went and saw Cocaine Bear by myself. And when I say by myself, what I mean is I was in a theater with over 100 seats and I was the only person. No. I had the entire theater to myself for a personal screening of cocaine you are lying and it's almost as if most people aren't interested in seeing the 145 p.m on a wednesday showing of a movie that came out a month ago oh my god but i genuinely it. I thought it was a really awesome, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:27 I'm always a big believer in judging, you know, movies and art in general on, on what they were trying to do. You know what I mean? Like rather than like based on some kind of high and mighty value, whatever. And I thought it was awesome.
Starting point is 01:10:40 I think Jesse Tyler Ferguson and, oh my God, what's her name? Ferguson and, uh, Oh my God. What's her name? What's her name? Oh my God. Uh, Margo Martindale, um,
Starting point is 01:10:49 are amazing in it. They're so funny. It's incredibly gory. I'll give you that little, little, little, uh, warning to anyone who might watch it.
Starting point is 01:10:58 They're some pretty graphic intestinal, uh, scenes and stuff like that, but it was really fun. And I just wish they made more movies like that. And I'm glad anytime a movie like that but it was really fun and i just wish they made more movies like that and i'm glad anytime a movie like that must get made and i almost wish i hadn't been alone i feel i feel like it was the kind of movie that would have been fun would have been fun with people with to have with an audience and i was like kind of expecting to at least have another person um but yeah it was a blast ate my peanut m&M's in peace and had a blasteroni
Starting point is 01:11:26 that is wild that you were alone I think that might be one of the only times it's ever happened to me that's crazy well did you know that you can find Alfred on Instagram at AlfredInnit and you can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview you can also find the show on Reddit
Starting point is 01:11:42 and we have a ReviewReview Discord that's actually crazy Yeah Did you know that You can find Riley On Instagram.com Just the web browser Not your phone
Starting point is 01:11:58 At Riley and spa And on twitter.com for as long as it lasts At Riley Coyote Probably not long at this point And did you know That as we say every week and on twitter.com for as long as it lasts at Riley Coyote. Probably not long at this point. And did you know that as we say every week Did you know we say this every week? Did you guys know this? I'm sorry, hang on. Pause, pause.
Starting point is 01:12:13 Time out. Did you know that we say this every single week? Do you know that we say this every week? Buh. Buh. and as we say every week that was a hit gum original

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