Review Revue - Summer Camps

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

Reilly and Geoff discuss the summer solstice, camp songs, and sugary snacks! Be sure to follow the show's subreddit at r/ReviewRevue, and see the below link to donate to help support the Native American equality and rights!Native American Rights FundFollow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @dontplaynojamesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Get that Angel Reef special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? At participating restaurants for a limited time. I just want to know how you feel. I want a love that's so proud and real.

You make me want to go out and steal. I just want to feel. I just want to feel. Happy summer, Rylance. Excuse me? Sorry, it's our first episode, not including last week's bonus episode, that is of the summer and of the moment. It's the summertime, and we're recording a podcast.

What song is that? I don't know what song. Yeah, well, I was making it up as I went. It's the summertime, and the podcast is sleazy. Here we are. Here we aren't. Well, yeah. Because I'm not present.

That's the issue. It's like I'm never there with, like I'm on the show, but I'm not. Jeff, come on, be here now. I'm trying, dude. You have a sweatshirt that says be here now and you wear it all the fucking time.

Don't say be here now. Just be here now. Just try it. I'm now. Just try it. I'm trying. Just try it. I'm trying it on for not only size, but for keys. I am. I am, dude.

I'm here. I'm fucking participating as much as I can. Not emotionally. I know. It's like how like, it's my, the way my stepdad treated me is the way I treat others. Cause yeah. Guess what his name was? Well, you didn't have a stepdad.

Peter Frampton. I guess okay yeah well you're yeah your parents have been together over 30 years that's kind of what we talked about last week then we agree then we absolutely agree we agree that you never had a step parent I asked this on uh this last week's head gum podcast what's the best salary to have I don't want to answer this why because it Because it's like, it's relative. How do you figure? Hidden figures. I had to read Hidden Figures for a film

class at USC and like the whole final was on it. So I know that movie inside and out, dude. I've seen it like four times because of that. That's awesome. I don't think so. Not when you're taking 18 units. So it's... In the summertime when the weather is fine,

you can stretch right up and touch a dime. You can spend dimes, spending dimes on tons of gumballs and... You can chew the gum and choke on it during a moment of... Silence, and you make a scene, and your aunt is there, and she's not really fine of yourself.

It's a funeral for your uncle and his name is and and that's really hard to make sense. A funeral for your uncle and? My uncle and and my Aunt. Ant. Ant. Auntie Ant. And I'm choking on a gumball that I spent a dime on that I reached up for. In a moment of silence. I dunked on a canter.

At canters. The deli. Now I got it. Have you ever been to a deli in New Delhi? Because there actually is a New Delhi up in New Delhi. And they're actually, like like peddling chicken tikka masala. Oh my god. So, Jeff, we have a new...

Oh my fucking god, I can't do it with this kid. We have a new site to plug. We do. We have a new cost to plug. It is the Native American Rights Fund. I've already donated $50, so match me if you don't want to snatch me. So basically you can either

sit on my face or you can give money to help indigenous people of this country, uh, who, and this isn't, you and I talked about this. This is just about intersectionality. It's not about taking any attention away from black lives matter. It's just trying to be inclusive as well of indigenous people. Uh, we, we, we received two emails calling this to our attention this week. And so give your support to the Native Americans and also Native people to any country that you're in, whether that's Australia, New Zealand, Canada. They often get the short end of the stick

and are also victims of police brutality. So it's very important. So we will link those in our bios and the Review Review bio as well. Absolutely. Check it out. What is, for lack of a better term, up? Why do you make it so pregnant? You really add pauses.

You make a meal out of it. You can just say, how's it been going? Yeah, here it is again. Oh, it's it been going? Here it is again. It's so stretched. What's been going on? I mean, we're still in the middle of a pandemic. I'm still at home.

I still haven't booked my return flight, which I'm trying to figure out. But LA County... When do you think you're going to come back? I was thinking of coming back right after the 4th, but now la county's like the worst place in the world for uh or the the united states i think for covid so i'm i'm a little worried about flying back and uh but i do have to come back because auditions are starting up again and i need to i am moving so i need to start touring places because i need to be out of

my current spot by the end of j. So we'll figure it out. Oh my God. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. If I don't, I just will live in my sister's place for a few weeks. Nice. Yeah.

What's up with you? I was going to save this. No, I'll just save it. I'll just save it. I'll just save it. I'll just save it. It's for my What Checked Me Out week long. Let's just say it's really good.

Let's just say it's really good. You always say it's really good. Oftentimes it's week long let's just say it's really good let's just say it's you always say it's really good oftentimes it's not let's just say it's half the time it's a niche 80s cartoon that you saw that you want to share and it's a visual medium not 80s 90s whatever oh muzzy yeah oh sylvia sylvia hello i'm bob oh my god it's so good who do people other than al pacino who do people say you um i've gotten emmy rawsome sometimes you mean emmy awesome she's the girl uh sure she's the the lead in shameless looking her up right now yeah i see it a little bit i honestly it's like all white brunette women look the same and so i get a a lot of like, they're like Anne Hathaway. And I'm like, I look nothing like Anne Hathaway,

but we are both white and brunette with brown eyes. But I do, I do, Al Pacino is, I do look a lot like Al Pacino. You could be Al Pacino's like daughter easily. I know. So,

I mean, we've talked, we talked about this on the HeadGum podcast, which shout out the HeadGum podcast, growing audience every week. If you need more content from HeadGum and us, go check it out. I don't know why you would,

but if you do, it's a lot of fun. We talked about the closing of the LA office, which we haven't talked about on the review video. Which, so. We haven't talked about it. What'd you guys say on the HeadGum Podcast? Well, we were talking about how COVID affected. This was an episode with Jake Amir and Marika I think

episode three COVID has not allowed us to say goodbye to the LA office of five years almost has it prevented us from doing a head gum podcast festival this year and it's we're not going to be able to have a true five-year anniversary party which was a which probably would have been amazing and big um so of those three which bums you out the most i think getting to say goodbye to it that we don't get to say goodbye to it yeah um because it's such a great space and like i also feel like the five-year university would have probably been the farewell party as well or that's or the opening to the new yeah i feel the party i don't that doesn't make me sad because it's like we could do we could have done that anywhere um and you know it's like that's more about just like the people who are there and like those are always really really fun

um but the fact that we just didn't even get to like do a once around and say goodbye to it is very sad that being said there was so much unnecessary noise i don't people probably understand this already just because the audio on the videos is always so bad but like yeah we're literally an audio company there's it's it's a loading dock so there's literal truck deliveries happening yeah every 15 minutes and so that was really bad but it was a great location like we were in the arts district of la and that's just like a really sick neighborhood there's a lot of cool bars so like we would do happy hours and we would like i don't anytime i went out down there or went climbing it was just nice to feel like i was at my second home because head gum was a block

away i once went on a date that i didn't know was a date until mid-date where I we went dancing in the arts district and then she wanted to see the head gum office and so we walked over to the head gum office but the gate was closed on that one side and she was she's she was a cheerleader at USC so she was like oh I can hop it I'm like are you okay are you sure like we were a little bit drunk too so she hops it and the drop on the other side was three feet longer than what she had to climb on the first side. So she breaks her ankle.

And I just kind of see it all happen. I'm like, and she's like, oh, and she's like, I need help. I can't get up. And I'm like, okay, I'll run around. So I had to run around that entire city block and then like just sprinting. And I had to run around that entire city block and then just sprinting. And I'm not a fast runner, so it took me probably eight minutes to get over to her.

And she's just in searing pain but trying to hold it together. So I had to fireman carry her into an Uber. And then where she lived at USC was this huge mega complex, apartment complex. So I was like, you can't go there and I don't really I don't think I could carry you all the way there so I just let her sleep at my place and I nursed her back to health that night

and like I helped her get in an Uber in the morning she was like a baby bird and you took care of her a little bit I mean I was also like a little bit annoyed but um yeah that's crazy but we're still friends I feel yeah hopefully she doesn't hear this and feels bad because I mean, I was also like a little bit annoyed, but yeah. That's crazy. But we're still friends.

So anyway. Yeah. Hopefully she doesn't hear this and feels bad because I love her. Anyway. That's wild. What are we reviewing today? Okay. Because it's summer, we're talking about summer camps.

Summer camps. Where children will not be this summer. Actually, I was talking to Shelby Wolstein, a comedian, the other day. And she said that her childhood summer camp is doing it. That's wild. But you know what? We're talking about summer camps. Jeff, did you ever go to a day camp, a sleepaway camp?

Do you have any camp experience? I went to a day camp for a summer. And I really didn't like it. It was called Camp Red Hood or something. Red Robin. You went to Red Robin every day for a summer. Red Robin Camp.

But I learned how to fish and we played games. It was kind of fun but the people who went there that I knew really I really didn't like. I've been to a couple different camps in my day um i went to uh when i was younger i went to this day camp in the summer called cali camp um and it was up in topanga and it was really fun and i loved loved it. And I went there for years. Topanga is my second favorite canyon, Riley.

You know this. Anyway, so Cali Camp was like an actual like summer day camp with activities and stuff. What did you do? Depending on age range, you were in different groups, like little different. So like, you know, and because I think I went there for maybe two or three years when I was younger. And so it's like, I came up with like the same group of girls. So we would always be in the same group,

um, because we were the same age. So one, one year we were, we were like the doves and then the Robins or whatever. Um, and it's, it's a,

it's a co-ed camp, but we would do like, there was, um, horseback riding, there was fishing, there was, um, there was zip lining, there was horseback riding. There was fishing. There was there was zip lining. There was go karting.

It was really, really fun. And I remember really wanting to be a counselor. Like when I was younger, I'm like, I think the counselors there in my mind, they were all like their mid-twants, but they were all probably just, like, 16. It was, I had a ball, and then when I reached the age of being able to be a counselor, I started going interlocking, so I'm like, bye. Yeah. But it was really fun, and each group, like, we had a song, so. It's always with the songs at camps dude it was like this oh fuck i forget what the beginning of the devs song was but then it would end with like d-o-v-e-s devs devs are the best and but then i really wanted to be in the robin group because their song was just rock and

robin and i'm like that's cool that's cooler than singing d-o-v-e-s devs devs are the best yeah it's like you everybody else is really proud of it and then you're shitting on it like really what are you talking about we like this song yeah no we do we do i mean but it's not a real song well it is like we wrote it and like like tammy would put a lot of work into it she was up all night i know but it's not rock and robin right rock and robin yeah but they didn't write that tweet it's not theirs yeah but they get to sing it and we have to sing d-o-v-e-s doves doves are the best tammy starts crying i'm sorry no tammy it's it's not you're not bad

it's just that it's like will this song live on for years as rock and robin has yeah no it'll hold a special place in our heart but now you're souring in our hearts yes but on the charts no you've changed dance spa get the hell out of topanga oh also there was a pool and like on the days of the pool days were very exciting um hold on i'm trying to think of this game it's literally just like in a pen like a wood pen and there's a ball in there and it's it's handball but in like a wooden pen do you know what i'm talking about and no they treated you like farm animals that's not a game no do you know the game i'm talking about cage free do you know what i'm talking about i have no idea what you're talking about guys what's it called it's like you're in a pen and it's like is it just

handball you were abused and you no you hit the ball and if it hits someone's like ankles then you're out and you could like jump you could use you could and if it hits someone's ankles, then you're out. And you could jump. You could use your... No, what's the fucking game where a bunch of teenage girls are put in a pen, and then they all get their periods for the first time? They call it cage-free eggs, but it's not cage-free. Whatever, guys. If you know what I'm talking about, please DM me or put it on the subreddit or something. But it was so much fun, and there would be big competitions,

and that's where we would meet boys. Summer camp makes me feel fine. Summer, I hardly know her. much fun and there would be big competitions and that's where we would meet boys um summer camp makes me feel fine summer i hardly know summers of our lives we should take a break uh after these and we're back so this revue is for a place in new york called camp racket lake where is it it's in racket lake new york um and so one half is a girl's only side and one half is a boy's only side. And it's an overnight. It's a sleepaway camp. So this review is from CampRatings.com. Bad. And it's a four-star review.

There's no name, but it's a girl. So give her a name. Dustin Myas. Dustin Myas? Like Dustin Myass? That's exactly right. Okay. So Dustin Myas. Dustin Myers. Dustin Myers? Like Dustin my ass? That's exactly right. Okay. So Dustin Myers.

Jesus Christ. Four stars from, well, actually, it's like there's not a star rating. It's like you can, it's like out of five for each category, but basically it's four stars all around. Right. This is from April 13th, 2007. The staff are pretty cool. They do play favorites, but very few, mostly in the younger bunks. The facilities could be nicer with all the money it costs to go there.

9K. The activities are really cool. What the fuck are you talking about? The activities are really cool. But having theater as a class where they teach you how to sit, I mean, get a life. The personal attention is very good. The counselors are always willing to talk with you. That's how my dad talks about me. He's not the best best but he's there but the infirmary is one of the worst sorry she spelled

worst wrong but the infirmary is one of the rawest thing there is out there the nurses are pretty mean unless you're cute and adorable and one of the doctors is an idiot I don't think sorry

sorry is an idiot. I don't think. Sorry. I'm sorry. Just like this tween being like this doctor is an idiot. Yeah, this is clearly not written by a parent. No, it's a camera. Oh, it is.

Okay. The nurses are pretty mean unless you are cute and adorable and one of the doctors is an idiot. I don't think she she has a daughter and sons. What? I love this camp.

What? Nine thousand dollars for camp for like two months. Are you kidding me? I also really love that. It's like I'm just imagining this like a nine year old girl being like the fruit's not great, but it's there. The doctor's an idiot. They're teaching me how to sit, get a life. Anyway, I love this place.

It's the beginnings of a PR girl. Excuse me, new girl? Hey, hey. New girl. What's your name? Oh, my name is Patrice. Oh, hi. Patrice or Patrice?

It's Patrice. Okay. You might want to consider changing that around here. What do you mean? What would happen? Well, Patrice, I am Sydney, and it's really nice to meet you. I am a Rocket Club camper, Rocket Club, Rocket Camp camper alum for the past three years. So I kind of have this place on lock.

Oh, okay. Well, why would I change my name, though? Like, that's, like, I really like my name. Well, just because, no, I'm sure you do. But just because around here, you know, kids can be, kids can be a little mean. Oh. They might, you know, I can just, I can already envision for you, like, listen, it's like, I want to help you out.

I'll take you under my wing. I can already imagine them saying, like, oh, sheesh, it's Patrice, you know? It's like, and we don't want to have that happen for you. But that's not even really insulting though. That's just like a weird rhyme. So anyway, Patrice. You said you had this place on lock? I have this place on lock

and just stick with me. Where are your friends? And you won't have any trouble here. Where are my friends? Yeah. I don't need any friends. Oh. Like I said, I have this place on lock.

So it's like, you know, I kind of get to boss the counselors around. I mean, it's like, you don't really want to be doing any of those extracurricular activities. The theater. That's why I came to the camp was specifically for the extracurricular. Like I wanted to do the theater and I wanted to learn how to fly. You want, I can trust me. I can teach you already. I can already teach you everything you, you will learn in that theater class. They literally just teach you how to sit. Well, it's not just what they just teach you how to sit okay well i don't get a life i don't think that's true i think if you get cast you end up acting in it were you cast or did you just have

to sit no i wasn't cast because i'm really busy around here doing what you you confidently just walked up to me and you said hi i'm sydney i i run this place i have it on lock and now like the more i learn the more it seems you don't really participate at all because you rub people the wrong way is that fair to say? well no

no no no no my god no my god no sweetie that's not what happens here you're only like a year older than me don't call me sweetie

that's a lot at our age not really I don't need anyone around here because I run this joint and so people are a little intimidated the doctors are intimidated little intimidated the doctors

are intimidated by me the counselors are pretty intimidated by me they're pretty mean you should know which ones um it's it's jessica in bunk five she's kind of yeah um and listen if you need to go to the infirmary just come to me instead why me instead why would i go to the infirmary i'm just if you needed anything like if you felt sick one of the doctors is an idiot she's a quack an idiot i feel like they wouldn't be listen i went there saying that i had a stomach ache okay and she said oh you just need to you just need to sit down for five minutes i said no i need to take a nap on the cot and she said oh sydney do you just want to take a nap because it's too hot outside and you were picked last for handball and i said no no dr tracy you quack

let me sleep on the cot. And she kicked me out of the office. Well, because you called her a quack, probably. It's not very nice. Well, no. Listen, Patrice. Patrice. Sheesh, Patrice.

You're the one saying it now. It's not other people. You're not protecting me. You're not showing me the ropes. I think you and I are going to be lifelong friends. You know, they say that you make lifelong friends at camp. I'm open to that. But so far, you've just insulted me and, and like tried to steer me away from my hobbies.

I didn't mean to insult you. I didn't mean to insult you. I didn't mean to insult you. Look, you can go be friends with the other campers if you want. I'm just saying if you stick with me, I can make your time here a lot easier. Okay. Fine. I'm willing to try that out.

You want to show me the cafeteria? Okay, perfect. Let's go. So here's the thing. There is a bunch of food here, right? You get what you pay for. We all paid $9,000 to be here. Really? My parents only paid $1,200. Really? I mean, I don't mean to be like a conspiracist or something, but do you think they charged you more because of what a headache you are to the camp? That couldn't be it.

It might be. Well, no. I mean, it's like they didn't actually in the newsletter, they didn't say that they were jacking up the prices. We just saw that one day that they said, we're jacking your price up to 9000 if you want to send Sydney here again. All right. Well, why don't we. Yeah. Now I feel bad. Why don't we have lunch together? OK, well, as you can see, there's a lot of food here.

There is a lot of fruit. It's not the best, but there it is. That's what you start with. That's what you lead with when you're touring around listen listen listen the staff like the chefs here are they do play favorites um so if you're on their side like the cute and adorable girls on this on the side of the of the lake okay so um you know i i i think i'm one of their favorites, but they're just plain hard to get. Over the loudspeaker, one of the chefs. Everybody is allowed one Choco Taco except for Sydney Craven.

So it seems like everyone else in the camp is like cute and adorable, their favorites, except for you. What did you do to the chefs? Obviously something happened. I think I am one of their favorites. And they were just doing it as like a little like they're kind of just like nagging me a little bit. We're not nagging you Sydney. We can hear everything you're saying. Stop it Tristan. You do this every year.

He's so funny. He gets me every time. You burned all of our legs in frying oil. So like this is and if anything this is an under reaction to the chaos you create around here. That's a federal offense. Listen. This is so silly. That's why I i'm laughing it's because i can explain it's because i tried to grab a choco taco directly from the freezer last year and they tried slapping it out of my hand and so that's where you know

that's kind of how things all well it seems like they're about to so that's kind of how things all escalated from there okay how did they escalate? Was there like several steps or did you just kind of go straight for the oil? It's like I could because, listen, I have a good eye for PR. I can foresee things when they're about to happen. Do you think you have a good eye for PR because all your life you've kind of been a PR nightmare? You asked about the Choco Taco escalation. I'm going to tell you about that. I'm going to stick with that.

That's a PR move to avoid the question. So I can tell that the next steps were going toaka Taco escalation. I'm going to tell you about that. I'm going to stick with that. That's a PR move to avoid the question. So I can tell that the next steps were going to be an escalation. And so I kind of got ahead of that. I could see five moves ahead. Patrice, I can tell you can only see one move ahead. And that's why I'm here. Well, I try to stay in the present and really listen to people. Maybe that's why I'm picking up on all this stuff.

Is that a friendship bracelet or is that a, yeah, it looks like a house erase bracelet. It is, I mean, I did wrap it in a lanyard of sorts. So, I mean, I could make you one. All right, yeah, make me one. Do we make you a lanyard? Make me a house arrest bracelet. Let's see how that goes.

Friendship bracelet. Sure. Friendship with the u.s justice department i need to i'll have it outsourced again i run this place don't worry about it i can get you five in the hour um where are you going wait you i feel like you're shutting down i was just gonna go to no i was just gonna go to the bathroom i was just gonna go to the bathroom and then if we meet up afterwards great if not it's all good right you run this place so that's what i've learned i run this place and i'm here to help you, Patrice.

Thank you. I really appreciate it. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Okay. Cut to her coming out of the bathroom. I'm waiting right next to the door. Hey, girl. You didn't eat?

I don't need to. I'm going to have food. I'm going to go meet some other people. I'm going to go meet some other people. Wait. What do you mean you're going to go meet some other people? Who? You saw me get off the bus and saw that I was new.

And you cornered me because everyone else knows about your reputation around here. I've quickly learned about your bad reputation within the first five minutes, mostly based on what you've told me. So, no, I don't want you to show me the ropes. No, I don't want you to take me under your wing. You've condescended me. You've tried to get me to not do my hobbies, the reason I came to this camp.

You burned a chef's shins in canola. And you have to spend almost eight times what everyone else spends to be here. What's really going on? Why do you act this way? Who are your parents? What's your upbringing? Obviously.

Um. Yeah, I would be lying if I didn't say that times are hard here sometimes for little old Sid, you know. I think my parents, they kind of outsource their caretaking. And that's why I'm here. Because they do say that I am 10 with the mind of a 57-year-old cantankerous broad. So, yeah, it's a little hard to make friends. And, yeah, I come on a little strong. But I know what I'm doing. I know who I am. Do you know who you are?

I'm trying to figure it out. That's why I'm at camp. I already know who I am. That's why I'm at camp. I'm so who I am. That's why I'm at camp. I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. Is there a guidance counselor that you could talk to? I think that it said that there was like a guidance counselor. Also plays favorites.

Have you talked to her? She also plays favorites. Plays favorites. So anybody who like you rub the wrong way you think is playing favorites, but it's just that everyone else is their favorite. Because I'm not eight anymore. What'd you do to her? What'd you do to her?

Yeah, you're 11. What did you do to the guidance counselor? Let's just say I, you know, copied some papers that shouldn't have been copied, and I put them up around the camp, and I kind of let everyone's secrets loose, a la that scene in Mean Girls where Regina George kind of puts the burn book photocopies around everywhere. So all that confidential information about each camper,

I was now privy to, and I did make everyone else privy to it as well. You're a bad person. You're a bad person unequivocally. I felt sorry for you until you just said that. That's worse than burning people's legs. That's a good spin. It's not a spin. It's not a PR move.

Be better. You shouldn't be at this camp. You should start anew somewhere else and just try to be kind. Is it that hard? I should start a new camp. I should start my own camp. Not start anew. Start and just try to be kind. Is it that hard? I should start a new camp. I should start my own camp. Start at a new camp.

I should start a new camp. Cut to 15 years later. There's Camp Sid across the lake from the racket camp. And it's just a PR camp. Everyone's legs are burned in oil. Therapy sessions are broadcast.

All right. Great. I have a three-star review from Camp Awesome and Marina Del Rey. Oh my God. Okay. This is...

Name, name, name. Farrah A. Farrah. It's just continuing farrah her last name is five a's all right farrah says three stars you get what you pay for the registration fee is low compared to other camps and now i know why. This camp is simply a baby-slash-kid-sitting service at the beach. There are no lessons or goals but to have fun. Each afternoon, the kids go to a store for snacks. My daughter told me about the candy or popsicle or lollipop she purchased each day.

My daughter also described how one of the campers told her a funny story about how he pooped a baby out. What? This is so inappropriate. Lastly, my daughter came home with her face sunburned. I was so glad when the week was over. A parent friend told me just last week that she arrived at 5 and waited for over 20 minutes to pick up her daughter because they hadn't returned from the store to buy sugar or salt laden snacks.

Another parent friend told me that he pulled his daughter out even before they began on the first day because not one counselor greeted them and that he pulled his daughter out even before they began on the first day because not one counselor greeted them and when he asked his daughter to join in on the rainbow loom activity, the counselor just smirked and was not inviting at all. A neon green T-shirt is included with tuition

and I think it's a good way to easily spot campers. Also, communication with Jessica, the secretary, was always easy and very responsive. Overall, I believe this is a no-frills camp option, and my daughter seemed to have a good time. However, I wasn't impressed. So I don't think I'll bring her back next year. Mom, earlier today I had one of those red, white, and blue popsicles. It was so much fun.

I was like, I never get to have those sugar snacks when I'm home. I really like this camp. Rebecca, sorry, did they provide those for you? I never get to have those sugar snacks when I'm home. I really like this camp. Rebecca, sorry, did they provide those for you? Because I remember asking them and they said they wouldn't provide snacks like that for you. Yeah, I mean, well, we were outside all day. So and they were like we were playing on the beach. We were doing a lot of physical activity. So they were like, you guys earned this.

You know, like it's good to actually get some like carbs. Sorry, but did they provide it or where did they get some like carbs sorry but did they did they provide it or where did they get those for you yeah they bought like we went to a store and they just bought it for us the cancer i don't even think it was part of the camp i think the counselors just cared for us so much that they wanted us to have the you went to a store while you were at camp i mean yeah we were on the beach at playa del rey like we just walked across the street um yeah okay sorry i just um you know how i feel about you you having sugary treats um during the day not on weekends and uh it's fine you know it's i'm not mad as

long as it's just a one-time thing and you know you just you're taking care of yourself and i'd really rather next time you get you know piece of fruit or something like that um okay but but i'm so glad you're having fun sweetie i'm really really happy cut to the next night after camp how was your day Rebecca? it was so much fun we played beach volleyball and then like they taught us not really how to surf but like just the mechanisms of how to surf we didn't go out

yet we might go out tomorrow and we just like we played sing alongs and we like learned how to like properly apply sunscreen it was so much fun it was so safe and like at the end of the day we all got ice cream sandwiches okay oh my god okay um did you get one or did did everyone else i mean everyone else got it but it was because we listened so attentively and learned how to take care of our skin in the sun it was so informative and i have

this skill going forward and that is amazing and i'm so happy that you know that because skincare and the sun is so important and i'm so happy that you're learning how to serve that because remember sweetie i don't i don't want to be that mom but remember yesterday i asked you to please to keep the sugary snacks to minimum just because you know it keeps you up at night and it's harder for me to get sleep because you know i send you to this camp because i have a lot of work right now during the summer and child care is hard to find and um i'm so glad you're having fun i want you to have the best time but i also want mommy to be able to get some sleep too oh yeah no i i forgot actually but i i'm sorry it's okay no i won't have it it's okay it's Thank you. Promise. Pinky promise with mommy. Yeah.

Cut to the next day. Did you get up on the board today, Rebecca? Yeah, it was fun. What happened? What's wrong? I mean, yeah, we surfed. It was a really fun day. We surfed.

I caught two waves. And like, we just spent so much time in the ocean and on the beach. It was like, I made a lot of really good friends too. Like, we were all like talking after. You're nine and you caught two waves? I know. I was so proud of myself. I was like the only one who caught more than one wave. good friends too like we are all like talking you're nine and you caught two waves i know i was so proud of myself i was like the only one who caught more than one wave and like i think we want might want to have play dates with like tyler and susan i would love that for you and it was

such it was a fun day why are you so why are your eyes so downcast no that was it that was it that was all we did we were only on the beach so rebecca can i go to my room rebecca come here what let me feel your forehead what sweat you always sweat when you lie to me no rebecca that's sea water salt water let me feel your palms oh they're clammy as the day is hot that's sea water it didn't dry, I think. Rebecca, what did you do? We went to a wedding cake shop and we had a five-tier cake split between the nine of us.

Rebecca! What? We were outside all day. I learned how to catch fish with my bare hands. These are skills I'll never learn anywhere else. That's fine. Then you deserve some orange slices. You don't go get a five-tier

wet. That must have cost so much money first of all. The campers were happy to pay for it because of how well we served. The counselors. I'm nervous. I'm clammy. I won't have any sugary snacks tomorrow. I promise.

You said that the past two times. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me thrice, shame on me. Shame on mommy. So you know what? You're not going to go to camp tomorrow. You're not going to go. You're going to come with me to work.

Fine. You're going to come with me to the agency. To the agency. Oh, hey, Rebecca. Hey, sweetie. How you doing? What are you doing here? I was just learning from your assistant just, like, how deal memos are agency. Oh, hey, Rebecca. Hey, sweetie. How you doing? What are you doing here? I was just learning from your assistant just like how deal memos are sent out and like,

you know, apparently you have two people that were placed on avails. So I was just like, I helped him make the calls to like give him the good news. And it was like a lot of fun learning such valuable skills. Oh, that's amazing. I'm so happy. Hey, have you seen our snack room? No. We have the most incredible array of snacks here.

Have you had any lunch yet? I don't think, and then you see my tongue is blue. I don't think I, I think I did have lunch already. So I think I saw the snack room. I think, I think Ted showed me the snack room. You know what? I'm going to go check. I actually have to deliver some papers to your mom really quick.

Do you want to come with me? No. Come on, let's go find her. Let's go find her. Okay, okay. Hey, Tina. Yeah, what is it? I got your little girl here. Come on in, Rebecca. Oh, hey, sweetie. Hey. So, Tina, here's some papers for you. Oh, thanks. Those weren't due until later today. Yeah, no, I figured I'd just give them to you now. Save some time. So, Rebecca has been learning a lot today.

Haven't you, Rebecca? Mm-hmm. Do you want to tell your mom about it? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Oh, come on, sweetie. I want to hear. I've seen you walking around different offices today.

Come on. Mm-hmm. Tell me about it. Tell me all about it. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Come on, Rebecca.

Don't be shy. I'm not shy. You're not shy? You don't want to talk around Molly? You've known Molly for years, honey. She was there the day you were born. I'll talk around Molly. I'll talk around Molly.

What are you doing with your mouth? Rebecca. What? Tina. I think Rebecca was eating Jolly Ranchers. Oh, my God. She pries open your mouth. Rebecca.

Oh, damn it. Rebecca. They weren't Jolly Ranchers, even. What were they? I made a simple syrup and I poured blue dye into it, which is basically what Jolly Ranchers are, but it wasn't formed into the candy. And I drank it all like it was a fucking, sorry, I didn't mean to swear, but I drank it like it was a hot soda. It was pure sugar and I downed it down my throat and it's still coating my throat and I love it. We're going home. Yesterday I had a wedding cake.

I needed to do something today for sugar that fits. We're going home. We're going home right now. Whatever, fine. Cut to home. It's just a plate of like uncooked spinach on her plate. You're going to eat the whole thing and then you're going to down this gallon of water and then you're going straight to bed. I hate you.

What did you say? I said I hate you. What did you say? I said I hate you. Rebecca, you don't mean that. The other campers today, they learned how to make a sandcastle so big that you could sit in it. They learned how to pitch a tent on the beach to camp. They learned how to lifeguard. They all got their certifications today. I could have had that.

And guess what they ate? What? Artisan ice creams that they made from scratch in a bag. Okay. See, this is why. You are too young to be having this much sugar all the time. It's not good for you. All right.

Well, what about your wine? You have wine every night. I have a glass every night. And that's none of your business. You have two glasses every night. That's none of your business. You have one in front of me and you have another one when I go to sleep. Eat the spinach.

Gets up, runs to the cupboards, opens it, grabs the cane sugar, just downs it all. A full bag of just sugar. Look at me now! You did this to me! It's not even about sugary treats, it just the sugar it's just sugar paint by numbers really have you been doing them you bet your ass so friend of us she hasn't been on the pod so our friend elizabeth valenti um recently moved in with me and she's been doing some paint by numbers and i'm like oh that looks fun she's like it is it's very fun so i ordered some they came yesterday it is so soothing, so satisfying. That's cool. Unfortunately, the first color that they started me off with, because you go in order, there's like 20-something colors in it, is white.

So it does look like I've been doing nothing, and it's the most boring color to paint with on a white canvas. Sure. But I finally finished the white last night, so now I'm on to like a nice green. It is so relaxing. It's so nice. That sounds really nice. I couldn't recommend it enough. I should do that with my family

we were playing music and painting by numbers and it was just a ball um meanwhile like daniel's doing he has like a big editing project he's working right now so elizabeth and i were like oh my god oh my god i forgot a number oh i have to go back and do it on white it's so exhausting meanwhile's daniel meanwhile daniel's on like hour seven of editing and he's like yeah that sounds really hard yeah i know that life um so yeah that's what's been shaking me i can't wait to finish it i'll post a photo when i'm done you should i'd love to see that send it to me um what about your time crisis with ezra koenig i've plugged it before i think or just casually talked about it with people.

I know there's some overlap with people who listen to this show and listen to Time Crisis. If you like Vampire Weekend and you like The Grateful Dead and you like just rock music and corporate food history and fashion,

basically everything. They just talk about the, and politics. They talk about everything. It's really interesting. They have great guests. If you like anything. If you like everything,

listen to Time Crisis. But I've been listening to that and just playing basketball. My jump shot is wet. And I'm going to beat Marty's ass in basketball when COVID is over. Well, we'll see. Marty's a D1 athlete. Well, Marty's a D1 cross-country runner. That has nothing to do with basketball.

He's still a D1 athlete. Well, I was a D3 high school athlete. So not D1 in high school. And not basketball. And with basketball. He's still a D1 athlete. Well, I was a D3 high school athlete. So not D1 in high school. And not basketball. And not basketball. Marty's like 34. You think I can't break his ankles? And I'm not talking about

having such good basketball handles that he falls over. I'm talking about literally taking a hammer to those gammers. A hammer to those gammers. That sounds very fun. Marty and Amir have always invited me to play Saturday basketball with them since like four years, and I never wanted to because I suck at basketball.

And then they stopped asking, and then I've gotten somewhat better. And so that's a post-core goal is to start playing basketball, either with them or maybe with Daniel if he has a spot in his league. I was never asked. you don't watch basketball you're not a basketball fan at all you never talk about it you never talk about it i was never asked i talk about basketball all the time i was never asked i was never asked i was never like basketball i'm sure they would let you no i mean it's like i don't play i don't play it's just like i was never asked do you watch it i don't watch it but I've never been asked it's not really a courtesy ask

if someone knows you don't like something if you came to me and you said hey do you want to go to what do you do? do you want to go to Glossier with me? I'd be like no what do I do? go to Glossier? what do you do?

I was trying to think of something that you like that I don't like because you like most of the same things I know do you do? I was trying to think of something that you like that I don't like. Because you like most of the same things. I know. Do you? It is. It is. I am. I am.

Glossier is cool though. You're on poor connection, so I haven't been able to see you in a while. I'm sorry. I'm in my closet. But it's okay. If I wore makeup, Glossier would be awesome to go to. You can wear makeup. I know, but I don't need it because my skin is so perfect.

Although with this scar, I might need it for like a few forever what's that anyway i don't think so really though right well sometimes when we were recording the podcast last week i took the band-aid off and that was the last time i wore band-aid and it took a chunk out of my eyebrow you can't really tell i don't wanna hear that i have no interest in listening to that um listen no not no interest in listening that just that makes me feel gross and bad it doesn't look as bad as i thought it did but it does like this used to be fuller jack or otherwise i mean i can't see it because. Poor connection. Right, right, right. Poor connection. Do you have anything to plug? I guess Review Review, which is our podcast. So yeah, this was fun.

Jeff, do you have anything to plug? I guess, oh, the HeadGum podcast. Listen to it. Or don't. Or don't. You don't have to, but you should. Thank you guys for listening this week. Follow Riley on Instagram at RileyAndSpa. On Twitter at RileyCoyote.

On TikTok at RileyAndSpa. Follow Jeffrey James on Instagram at IamJeffreyJames on tiktok at riley and follow jeffrey james on instagram at i am jeffrey james on twitter at don't play no james on tiktok at jeffrey james it's at i am jeffrey james on tiktok actually i am jeffrey james on tiktok i am i am jimmy james on tiktok and follow review review on on instagram and reddit i think by the time this episode comes out we might be at a thousand. But if not, go subscribe. That'd be cool. Go subscribe to the subreddit.

Would love. It's been. Go subscribe. Better and better. Very active. Very active. Very creative. Very passionate.

Very passionate. Somebody sent us a. What was that second one? It's hot. How is it hot? It's mostly photos of us. It's just, you know. Listen, I look great as Uncle Sam.

Someone photoshopped me as Uncle Sam. Oh, new name alert. Unc. No. Yeah. I know. I saw. great as Uncle Sam. Someone photoshopped me as Uncle Sam. Oh, new name alert. Unc. No. Yeah. I know. I saw. As in Uncle Jeffrey.

I got it. So somebody did send us, Lucas Blaney sent us a Review Review theme song. It's in the style of the If I Were You theme song. So I thought that that could play us out. Shout out to Lucas Blaney for that. Do it. I hope I'm saying that could play us out shout out to Lucas Blaney for that do it thank you and remember the review review email

is reviewreviewshow at gmail.com Jeff any parting wisdom you can choose your family but you can't choose like everything that happens to you because often times bad or good things will happen they'll be a surprise but good or bad

and like you can't it's so good that you couldn't have even imagined this for yourself or it's so bad that you're like, I would have never wanted that to happen. So that's basically like my mantra for the year is like, you can't, you don't have any choice. You don't have any choice in anything. Okay, great. That's good. Perfect.

What about you if you if you use mouthwash um get like the giant bottle and get the little travel size one so it's like you can keep refilling that travel size one as you go right with it from the giant bottle so you can keep the giant bottle like under your sink or something um and that way you don't have to like keep buying mini bottles you could just have the one big guy and then reuse the smaller size one yeah so this is customs and i asked you what the purpose of your visit and i'm just letting you know that like i have been recycling this one and this trip is for uh pleasure all right guys thank you for listening uh feel free to recommend the show to your friends or don't, but that would be a huge help.

We'll see you next week. Arrivederci. Three, two, one. Review, review. Review, review. Review, review. Review, review. I tell you what I'd review.

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