Review Revue - Sunscreen

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about sunscreen and discuss elbowls, time-telling aphrodisiacs, and anxiously-attached dads!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time.

If you don't know, review, review, buy now, then. And participating restaurants for a ride the last time i had sex i cried jeffrey got that donk donk got that that thing you know i want gonna find i'm gonna find out where he lives gonna find you jeff gonna find your address with a ph also riley's here or whatever um so he really buried the lead there Because he said this is a parody of Blackbird By Paul McCartney and it wasn't at all That Song was a threat That was I got my first death threat

The other day actually on Instagram Yeah I mean it was like they're not actually gonna do anything But it was like in theory On paper it was a death threat They said post more Billy Brick Content or I'll murder you on site so like not really okay but that's like a nice check mark on the bucket list of life okay got it um that song was both terrifying and a masterpiece if that makes sense it's uh that came in from reese

uh he wants to plug his youtube channel ignore the spots the Spots. So go check that out. Shout out to Reese for waxing my ass in a certain way. I don't think so. It's fucking summer. I don't know what else to say. Riley's getting upset out of nowhere. She wants me to ask what's wrong. I'm not going to do it. The sun is shining.

My smile is, there's a glint in it. I'm taking life by the horns and sort of dominating it. I'm, for lack of a better term, winning. You didn't get me and Daniel a present yesterday, and that's why I'm upset. It was your anniversary. Don't make it seem like it was both of your birthdays where I should have gotten you something. Well, it was the birthday of our relationship. Which I don't care about.

Our relationship is three years old. It has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with me. We talked about this last week. We talked about how my parents are always like, oh, we should have dinner for our anniversary. You should come. I'm like, no, that's your thing. This is your thing.

This is the same exact thing. If anything, the other scenario is the only thing that I'm actually kind of a part of. I'm not a part of this at all. I don't want to be involved. I did not need to spend money or put effort into it. I don't care. I could not care less. I'm happy for you.

And that's the extent of it. Congratulations, but I'm not going to get you a gift. Well, clearly, because it's a past and you didn't get a gift. Well, you can'm not going to get you a gift. Well, clearly, because it's a pass, and you didn't get a gift. Well, you can get belated things, and I won't. I'm going to spend money. Or worse, put effort into making you something,

which the thought of it makes me want to throw up. If you handmade a gift for Daniel in my anniversary. Be happy in what you have. Don't bring me into the fold. I don't have to be a part of it. You are always asking to rim Daniel or whatever.

That's between me and Rasheed. And that has, again, nothing to do with you. It specifically would be me and Rasheed in his assy. Oh, God. My dad listens to this show. So? Hi, David.

Speaking, hi, dad. Speaking of summer, speaking of summer buns and summer fun, we are summer buns. I didn't say anything. Have I told you my plan to get rid of my farmer's tan?

That sounds like something you just made up to rhyme with plan. So do you actually have a farmer's tan that you need to get rid of? I mean, kind of, like not really, but... Jeff is wearing overalls and a tank top. A wife supporter.

Jesus Christ. Christ Listen I played soccer growing up And it developed this deeply ingrained Farmer's tan That kind of ends Just above But you've had since you were a child Since I was in high school yeah You've had a farmer's tan

The same farmer's tan from when you were in high school. That can't be true. We don't have the same makeup in terms of melanin. So I've had the same farmer's tan since about 14. Okay. It ends just above the knees and then it sort of fades on the arms. But then my torso-

It sort of fades. I'm just like dragging his fingers across his arm. Two shooting sleeves. Two shooting sleeves from NBAstore.com. Thigh highs. And a ski mask

that covers my neck. And the rest is open to Mother Nature's eyes. Basically, I'm gonna sit out and sun my buns, like you said, and make this all right. What's your summer plan? My summer plan, so because you are right, we have very different experiences in the sun.

We have varying degrees of melanin in our bodies. I cannot be in the sun or I varying degrees of melanin in our bodies i cannot be in the sun or i will uh disintegrate yes i am very pale if i'm in the sun without sunscreen for five to ten minutes or more i will burn jesus i don't tan i ever burn no i and the burn fades. It doesn't go into a tan. Okay. That really sucks. It does not tan. And so I burn to a crisp.

I am a lobster woman. And I got head shots done recently. I got a head recently. I had a scoop neck shirt. Oh, no. And the photographer looked at my chest and he's like, God, you are so, like, you are really fucking white. And I'm like, I know. Yeah.

And he's like, no, I mean, like, it's hard, like, the light balance. This makes it difficult. Because now it's like, you're overexposed just from being the color that you are and I'm like yes so I am you know it's like when you're riding a bike at night and you need like a light reflector you don't need one

no I'm saying that's I am that so if you just wrap me around your body at night I will glow so I need a shit ton of sunscreen So if you just wrap me around your body at night, I will glow. So I need a shit ton of sunscreen. I need sunscreen. I'm really bad about, I've been getting better. I've been really bad over the years about not putting sunscreen on my face every day. But then I found a sunscreen that works, it's clear and matte and also works as a primer for makeup.

And let's hear which one that is. That's Supergoop. It's Supergoop. Hold on, what's it called? Supergoop. It is Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen. That's not one of my reviews. It is just something that I...

It's a splurge, but I use it every single day. And it is the best... My skin has never reacted better to anything. It's really like, it's an investment piece. But yeah, I used to hate, I don't know about you, Jeff, let me know your thoughts on this. I used to hate the smell of sunscreen. Yeah.

Absolutely hated it. The smell of it made me think of like a crowded sweaty summer camp and i was not about i have some friends who like love the smell of sunscreen they're like reminds me of beach days but because i can't be in the sun for very long yeah a beach day like going out to tan was never something that i was ever interested in it wasn't in the cards for me i would just be hot and sweaty't in the cards. It wasn't in the cards for me. I would just be hot and sweaty and in the shade. So what are your thoughts on sunscreen? For me, it's just such a different experience. I don't need it.

The only place I ever burn and not even that bad is like, you know, my T-zone and the back of my neck. You get a little rosy cheeks. a little rosy on your nosy sorry go on i interrupted you let's just do the reviews no rosy cheeks what the hell was that you're trying to say that i'm a santa is that a comment i didn't say you're not a santa no you get a little burn on your t-zone and where else um and on the back of my neck. But even that, it's never really a burn. Or not the back of my neck, my like shoulders. But even that, it's like never painful. It's not that red.

And it just, everywhere I just tan really easily. But I'm already a nice caramel tone. So I don't always want to tan because I'm sort of perfect everywhere in that regard. So when I use sunscreen, it's to avoid tanning and getting a farmer's tan. I burn from sitting in traffic. Should we do our first review? Yeah.

All right. This is a one-star review of Super Fluid Daily UV Defense SPF 50 Plus from Kiehl's. Okay. No name. Let's get a full name. This is from Alec Bundle. That's one of the worst names I've ever heard. You said that last week.

What did you say last week? I don't even remember. I forget. All right. Alec Bundle. Yeah, but this could be a name. I think the other one was not a real name at all. This is like, what a bad name.

If your last name's Bundle, you got to name your kid something awesome. Not Alec. And no offense to any Alecs out there, but your guys' last name isn't Bundle, so it's fine. Here we go. Horrible Odor is the title. I had the pushiest sales lady at Kiehl's Flagship, New York, talk me all the way out the door after I asked her to stop talking so I could concentrate. She made me so anxious that I didn't pause to smell this sunscreen. It smells awful and my partner complains.

I need to concentrate. What could they have possibly... I think this person's in the wrong. What could they possibly be talked at? I mean, unless it was that awful, but I can't imagine it was. Hi, I'm Lisa. Can I help you find anything today?

Oh, Lisa, easy with that. I'm trying to figure out which products to get, and you're all up in my business about it. I am so sorry. It looked like you needed help. You've been browsing around this aisle for the better part of 20 minutes, and so I was just, you know, I tried to give you some space earlier, and I was just, you know, wondering. uh the sunscreen specialist uh in this nordstrom and so if you need any help

i will be at the register if i need your help i'll let you know which one of these should i go with sorry what is your name oh my name is alec bundle alec so nice to meet you alec bundle alec bundle alec bundle it's so nice to meet you um do you need help for your sensitive so i i thought i heard you think you have sensitive skin okay um great well we have this wonderful keels brand um it's a little bit pricier but it goes on like silk and it's very very gentle on the skin okay um we also great okay do you want me to put that in your basket maybe well maybe some other options just to make sure I'm doing my due diligence.

My partner is picky. Oh, so does your partner also have sensitive skin? Are you buying in bulk? Stay out of my business, Lisa. Asking about my partner. I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to pry. You actually did just bring up your partner.

I was going to ask if you both have sensitive skin so are you buying for the two of you or would you like to buy something separate for your partner just me just me for now but we'll see about my partner later and thank you for your help are they coming into the store or are you buying this for them uh no this is just for me uh and then i'll figure it out from there figure it out from there um as in you need recommendations for them you're really asking a lot of questions about my partner and i thank you not to bring them up again i am i am so sorry i am just trying to give you the best experience possible. We have this Aveeno. It's all natural, completely vegan, completely organic. This works for sensitive to normal skin. Yeah.

And it gives you a lot more protection than you'd think. This is actually an SF70. I have this back deck and basically we'll lay out on there and kind of sun. Oh, lovely. Easy. I'm out on the back deck. I'm sunning, but I want to make sure that I can undo my farmer's tan basically and kind of, you know, figure it out.

Basically, it goes up halfway my arms and halfway my legs, if that makes sense. That's a very, very common issue we have. So you know what? I would actually recommend this sun bum. It's a little bit pricier but it I think this kind of SPF

it's SPF 20 to 30 and I think that will really get rid of the tan but oh what a lovely that's so wonderful that you guys

have a deck that you can just lay out on and sun Lisa I'm not gonna give you my address man I did not ask

for your address about my partner about my house all these things about my ass that I undo my farmer's tan. You said sun bum and I tried to go past it. When I said sun bum. Don't say it again.

Prying. It is the title of this product. I am not talking about your rear. I am describing a product that was on. Would you prefer a different associate? I think I should grab someone else for you. Hey, Jason? Jason?

Yes, we have a customer. Yes. I don't think he is enjoying me. Hey, what's up? You need some help? Yes. Jason, this is Alec. I'm sorry.

I forgot your last name. You're asking a lot of questions about my last name. All right. I'm just trying to buy products. Jason. All right. Bye, Lisa. I'm so sorry about her.

What a mouthy broad. Am I right? Yeah. You need some. Yeah. I like this guy. You need some sunscreen for your ass or what? Yeah, let's do that.

Hey, by the way, do you live in Studio City? Come by anytime. Hell yeah, I fucking do. Come by anytime. Oh, I overheard you got a porch. Yeah. I'm going to sun my buns on that for sure. Spread that ass.

Should we take a break? Yeah, I like him. So you're just sexist i guess all right this is for copper tone glow hydrogel SPF 50 sunscreen lotion with shimmer. It claims it is water resistant, non-greasy. So yeah, it just has glitter in it, basically. Okay, this is one star from Ashley N. Let's go Nikon. Ashley Nikon, one star. The title

is, did I get burnt using this product? No. Did I enjoy this product experience? No. Oh my god. I purchased this product because I like the glitter factor. Initially application was easy, but there was a strong alcohol smell. This

was the only SPF I brought, so I continued to use it anyway once i was done and over the smell i thought it was good as i sat at the pool and started to sweat the product started to get chunky and white it looked like i was making it it looked like i was making cottage cheese in my elbow crevice also the gel starts to peel up i do not recommend the sunscreen unless it's all you have something is better than nothing two people at one night stand oh you're hungry um i don't i just haven't gotten grocery shopping in a while. Let me whip something up. Oh, we can easily order in.

I'm really not picky. Money's a little tight. Totally. I get that. I get that. Do you want help in the kitchen at all? No, I'll go make it. Okay.

Cut to 15 minutes later. You're still waiting, so you venture into the kitchen. I have cottage cheese in my elbow crevice. I'm making it with a whisk. It looks like you should be holding a ball, but it's just you whisking your elbow. Wait, no, no, no. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go.

That's it. Violently throwing. What's the next review? It's a blackout sketch don't go don't go don't go I have I have tinned peaches we can throw in you're like and do you no but we can order them

actually money's kind of tight it's just the cottage cheese. It's flying everywhere. No, no, no, wait. No. No. No. It's like the silhouette of you holding a bowl

she turned around it's you whisking your elbow it's fucking fire it's almost ready still a little runny I just gotta sorry just gotta beat it a bit more

it's just hard because I don't have a bowl do you need one? It's hard because I don't have a bowl. Money's kind of tight. All I've been eating, you know how some college kids, money's tight, eat ramen. All I've been eating is the cottage cheese that I produce from my body. Die. I'm trying to. Statistically, I should have already because this doesn't have enough nutrition milk secretes

from my pores and I don't know how or when so I'll be at an important event and I'll just start bleeding milk and I'll just start cheesing elbow cheesing this is a review of And I'll just start cheesin'. Elbow cheesin'. This is a review of Play Everyday Lotion SPF 50 with sunflower extract from Sun Goop.

Or sorry, Super Goop. This is from Paul S. Do you have a last name? Paul S. And that's his name. So it's just a bunch of s's no but it's like has a couple breaks right that's what i was worried about so that's multiple marriages between people with the last name yes and now please say his whole name so this is paul this is five stars the title is kind of perfect not messy doesn't get into your eyes when you sweat and uh oh yeah it works great at preventing

burns right kind of the whole fucking idea pitching aitching a watch. As you can see, we have this gorgeous strap. It keeps it on your wrist. It's looking great. And, oh, yeah, did I forget to mention, it tells the time. What's new about it? Because this is a show about inventions, and we're just trying to figure it out. I feel like at the end of the day, why reinvent the wheel? Points to the watch. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Right. We buy inventions here. We invest in young entrepreneurs who've had great success. That success has stemmed from people filling a gap in the market. This has been around for centuries. Arguably, actually, millennia. Yes. Yes, correct.

Well, then why do you buy, why do people keep making shoes? Why do people keep making shirts? Oh, I'm going to buy a new shirt. I'm going to buy a pair of shoes. That's been around for longer than the watch. Every time I say watch. You don't have to always point at it. I know what a watch is.

That's been around longer than the watch is. Okay. So do you wear a watch? Yes. I can see it on your wrist. Yeah, so why did you ask? You will inevitably, that watch will break. You're going to need a new watch.

It tells the time and it sits on your wrist. I don't know what else I need to sell you on today, sir. Feel free to make the watch. I'm just telling you what this business is, which is investing in new ideas and inventions. So you can make a watch. There's tons of new watch companies popping up all the time. I will not invest in this

product unless you give me one reason why it's new. It tells, uh, it has a second hand. Yeah. Every watch has that, pretty much. It also tells the date. A lot of watches have that. It tells, it has a second hand. Yeah. Every watch has that pretty much. It also tells the date. A lot of watches have that. It can go underwater. A lot of watches can do that.

It can be out of water. That's every watch. Yeah. I thought that was a joke. It sits on your wrist. That's every wrist watch. This one gets you laid. What?

What the hell are you talking about? This watch is so hot. You're going to go into a room. Everyone eyes to the watch. They'll be like, does that tell time? And you'll be like, fuck yeah, it does. And they'll be like, do me. I'm sorry, man.

I'm just sorry. No, you know what? Now I'm starting to get pissed off. You're starting to waste my time. I press a button to buzz. Yeah, Patricia, can you come in here? I think we have an issue. Hi, yeah. Whoa.

Does that tell time? Fuck yeah, it does. Do me. Patricia, what did you just say? Fucking have me for the watch. And have me. Fucking have me and have me. Patricia, that was insanely graphic.

I guarantee you he does not have the capability to split you in half based on his confidence or lack thereof. You have a little bit of energy. I put on four more watches. Patricia, don't have an orgasm in my office. Fucking fine. It's insane that this is working. $100,000 just for the patent and I buy you out of it. And then I'm going to shut it down. And then I'm gonna shut it down.

Then you're gonna shut it down. Obviously, yeah. Why do people keep buying new dishware? Why do people keep buying new tables? Right? You're never gonna wanna stop selling these. Especially when it gets the kind of reaction like Miss Patricia over here has received.

Patricia, you need to step out of the room because your legs are trembling and you're biting your lip in a really offensive way. I put on four watches on the other wrist. I'm wearing eight total. She's like, I have to go. Where's the bathroom? No, you can't masturbate in the office.

All right, listen. You have a lot of prototypes. They all seem fine. If anything, you're just a good watchmaker, but $250,000, buy you out of the patent. You're not involved at all. I shut it down. What if I told you that if you... I just offered you a quarter of a million dollars for something that already exists. It doesn't even look that good, but continue as to why you're not going to accept the offer. I feel like watches are, forgive the pun, timeless. And if you can't see that,

then why should I give you my pride and joy just for you to bury it away? I'll take the money. Yeah, there you go. All right, our last review. I don't care what you do.'s really you making watches is an inoffensive thing as any i don't feel the need to sell it because it's it's a watch what i need is my assistant to not be a nymphomaniac in the office. And these watches are making that hard to do. Can you do that?

This is for Aveeno Kids continuous protection sensitive skin zinc oxide sunscreen sweat and water resistant for 80 minutes SPF 50 broad spectrum. Okay.

Five stars from Prince R arlie prince arlie make way for prince arlie five stars all caps yes for sensitive skin and protection amazing for sun protection and sensitive skin. These two ingredients have been studied extensively and are the good ones. I did a lot of research. I took my daughter, who was two and a half, to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina last week and used this. I just got it in the mail shortly before and it works. Trust me. Three days in the sun, around 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. She has sensitive skin and breaks out to other kinds, which I can't mention, but not this one.

It is a thick white paste, so it's not easy to spread or not easier than others, I should say. Takes a little longer to apply, but don't let that be the deterrent. It's worth it. If you have more than two kids, then definitely get more than one bottle. I was worried she got too much sun because the sun was all caps HOT THOSE DAYS. But all she had were some tan lines and very slight redness under her eyes. But she had a lot of sun. Recommend applying at least 10 minutes before you go out. And if on the beach, apply again. Can't be too careful.

It reminded me of like a parent who's just like a kid being mortified with the parent explaining so much about them of being like my little girl. Oh, she's got sensitive skin for days and she burns. She peels like a lizard, like a little snake. She is, she just, she gets a little red under her eyes and my God, it looks like she's wearing a mask. She is my sensitive little flower. Um, and so as she enters into your kindergarten classroom, I just want to make sure, um, Mr. Green, that you are taking care of her tending to her like the little angel droplet of dew sensitive sensitive skin skin and heart girl that she is can you do that skin and heart she is emotionally sensitive and has um abhorrently sensitive skin okay um yeah i can make sure she applies sunscreen whenever we go

to recess but i just had my one-on-one with her and she's the most mature five-year-old i've ever met so i don't think she's sensitive to me you don't have to suck up to dad i just want to make sure my porcelain doll flower little little tiny piece of gift wrapping paper, crinkly girl is taken care of. You know, Mr. Bundle, I see this a lot actually in, you know, this is the first time that you're going to be away from your daughter for this long. You know, you told me that you're a stay-at-home father. So you've been with her a lot every day for the past five years and now you're gonna have that um i often find that kindergarten's harder for people like you than it is for the kids i think she seems really excited to be at school like me meaning a really attentive super dad yeah so if you need anything from, if you want me to like send photos back home, I can do that maybe once a week or something. And or if you want to come in, have lunch with her once a week, like I can talk to her, see what she wants, see what you want to work out with her. But I just want to assure you that everything if you want to send me photos of how my of how my little my

little uh sheet of lasagna before it's cooked daughter is doing my little easily breakable snap crackle pop baby girl is without daddy daddy-o super dad superman around then that's your prerogative right but it's like man the idea of me coming to have lunch with her every day i said once it's like you know to have first and second snack with her every day just to make sure that she is doing okay like i think it's a good idea but i just don't want to embarrass her is there any way we i could be in disguise so it's not like i'm not your dad I am I'm just a guy looking out for you um you know before I I also have a

degree in therapy I'm an MFT and um do you think you might be projecting how you feel onto Liza the whole how I feel sheet of lasagna because you number one and i mean i mean no disrespect you are a waif you're an absolute whisperer of a human and um there

have been several times that my window's open there's been a gust of wind and you've been kind of forced back two or three inches in your chair so physically you seem a little fragile and also emotionally i've never felt this kind of energy from anyone ever. I don't want my daughter to go to school anymore. She legally has to. Maybe there's something

you could do. Can I join her? You cannot. Could I be, I see on the wall right behind you, there are classroom parents. Could I be one of those?

Absolutely not. You're not fit. What will I have to do to prove that I am absolutely fit of a mind, sound mind and body to fulfill those duties? I don't know if there's anything you could ever do or say to come back from this meeting. And also the voicemails you left me. I play one.

Mr. Green, it's Mr. Bundle here. I am ready to send Eliza to school. Just kidding. No, I'm not just kidding. Yes, I am just kidding. I don't know which is the right thing to say. Next one. Mr. Green, this is an associate of Mr. Bundle here, just calling to let you know that he would like to do everything in his power

to attend school with his daughter, Liza. Don't call back this number. I'm using Mr. Bundle's phone because mine is out of battery. Clearly you're putting on a voice. Next one. Mr. Green, this is Mrs. Bundle here. I'm calling

on behalf of my husband, Mr. Bundle, and our dear little angel hair pasta girl, Liza. Don't put her in school. Send her home with dad. She loves watching Paw Patrol and taking care of her father emotionally.

Goodbye. Right, that one you said goodbye. The last one, this one was the worst of all. I've never heard someone address me this way. Manic energy. What's up, little rat fucking coward mr green or should i say mr string bean you look like you don't even fucking lift let me into the classroom i want to take care of my little sparrow egg i do lift again you are a whisper in the wind

so i don't understand that one it's gonna be to be all right. Stay away from the school. I'm so sorry about how my assistant and the missus treated you. That was really, that was not on me. That was my phone. You hear knocks on the door. Hello, Mr. Bundle. Oh, hi, darling. How's the meeting going?

Hey, you guys, it's not going great. Liza is going to have to go to school without me. She really is. Oh, honey, it's okay. We'll take care of you. Yeah, we'll take care of you, sir. Why did your assistant come? This is insane. He's emotionally invested.

Gust of wind picks you up like a piece of paper. A plastic bag. Takes you out of the window. Bye, darling. See you at home. So this happens a lot? Every hour. How is she so well adjusted?

Again, most mature kid in the class. Well, it's because I do a lot of the rearing. Mr. Bundle just kind of sits in a chair and cries, thinking about how every minute she's alive, she's closer to death. And that's when he's not blowing in the wind. Right, so he's an absentee father because he weighs, what, half a gram? Half a gram! How did you know?

I didn't. It was an absurd guess. Knock, knock. Oh, hey, Mom. Hey, Mr. Fring. Oh, Mr. Green, I just wanted to say i'm so excited to have you as my teacher and i can't wait to start kindergarten tomorrow i'm excited to have you too uh it's gonna be great i think it's gonna be really fun where's dad he flew out Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm sorry. He called me an uncooked sheet of lasagna. Yeah. Yeah. It is him. That is that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. speaking of um absentee paper thin uh emotionally fragile fathers um so i don't know if i've talked about this on the show before but um for any kind of like uh birthday or valentine's day or anniversary daniel and i uh get each other cards that are um written to sons um like hallmark cards for sons yeah and uh because i think they are the funniest things in the world. And so I went to Target the other day and I was looking for one for our anniversary and I was hoping that they would have year-round Valentine's Day cards because a Valentine's Day card to a child

is the most ridiculous thing. I think it's hilarious and so weird. I do not want to receive like an I love you so much on Valentine's Day, which is a hallmark romantic holiday from a parent um yeah so they didn't have any valentine's day ones which i'm like that's fair it's summer um but i looked at their birthday ones and what the trend that i think is so fascinating is every card written to his son feels like an estranged parent trying to make up for lost times hold on i'll be

right back i need to read the copy of this card it's worth it i'll be back in one second okay okay so i couldn't decide between two cards they were both amazing but this one i think really took the cake um so in it i I wrote like an actual note for Daniel. But first of all, it's such a long card. Oh my God. Of pre-written stuff. Yeah. Usually it's just like a couple lines.

So here we go. The cover is, Dear son, ever since you were born, I worried and wondered about whether or not I was being the best parent I could. Opens the card. Did I make you feel important? Did we find enough time for the little things like laughter and hugs and simple everyday moments? And when we and even when we disagreed, did you always know I loved you?

Of all the things I've done in my life, I one thing I'd never change is having you for a son. If I didn't always say it, I hope I always showed it. I'm proud to be your parent and I love you, son. They get me every time. That's so funny. Oh my God, they are so fucking funny. Who the hell wrote that? And also it's like, I don't know if you can see but it's like the in the font there are some bits yeah what the fuck the lettering yeah and the different lettering

is did i make you feel important like laughter and hugs did you always know i loved you it's so it's like hey i know i wasn't there to show it, but I care. Yeah, you weren't. But here's this card that I didn't write to tell you all the things I never said. And you didn't even write the card. Exactly right. That's so fucking funny. And you didn't end up using that or you did? No.

So I got him two because there were two that I couldn't decide between. So I gave him this one in the morning and a different one at night. That was like the cover of a different one at night. That was like the cover of the other one is like, you weren't just any little boy. You were you. Yeah, nice. Thanks, I guess. I know.

I figured and I've known that. Thanks. Haven't seen you in a year and not because of covid oh what about you mevry oh my god i got it so i went bowling last night with george uh and some of our friends and he was well so he was late because he had therapy he's being fixed uh in the shop loser and um and uh so he was like bowl the first frame or two for me so i did and the first frame was a strike strikes and my my first frame was a strike so started out neck and neck and i was like and i and i i considered gutting gutter balling it on purpose to like put him at a disadvantage and to razz him

but i was like no like let me use it as a warm-up for me and also it'd be funnier if i set him up really well and he still loses we're neck and neck the entire game after he shows up until like frames eight and nine and where he starts to pull ahead because i had two bad frames so i'm down by 16 points uh after he bowls his 10th frame and so i need to get 17 uh billy brick is there and he he like gives me like a boxing movie coach like pep talk basically but also says that if i if i fuck it up we're not gonna be friends ever again or something like that. And so first one, spare, that's 10. And then everybody's kind of like, holy shit, like this is like, all you need is a seven.

And I got an eight. Or yeah, I got a seven. And then like, that's the end of it. So I beat him by one. That's amazing. It's 106 to 105. And he was like, which best case scenario in any game is to win by one.

That's really remarkable. It was unbelievable. I'm thrilled for you. It was highlight of my life. That's, we should talk about that. It's been a bad year. I know. I've like reached out to friends,

just nobody responds. I know. And I'm sorry about that. All right. Should we thank some VI podcasts? Bitch. Thank you to a surprise for Devin. Aaron Carrico.

Aaron. Adam Shee. Agent Michael Shee. Ako in the Kiofuel G. Alan PhD in Hembology. Alex Witt. Alvar Wallstrom-Lindell. Anthony Amadeo.

Austin Frost in a Cupston Cakeston. Bob Buell. Not that I'm a big deal or anything. It's cool. Holy shit. Brad Hilde. Brian Dodd. Chuck.

Chasen Bales. Christian Sidehugs for Purity. Connor Finnegan. Curva Trico Smart Set Wiper Blades. Damien Kirk, my all-time least favorite nephew. Dorian Randall. Daniel Keep My Pretty Name Out of Your Mouth Club. Dorian Randall Daniel keep my pretty name out of your mouth

Douglas Pimlott who is and this is completely off book here our absolutely favorite podcast Fancy Octopus Gabriel Castaneda Greg got his second dose and was the life of the Zrunch and his wide awake writer

Greg have you seen Greg have you ever oh my god I'm dyslexic, have you seen... Greg, have you ever... Oh my God. I'm dyslexic. Greg, have you guys ever had Longberg? You guys ever had Long... Hallie, hashtag I stand with my twin gray,

hashtag I love you, Eric Kruss. Holly. Hunter B. Isaac Puff, new patron. Jack Kwan. Jackson Hansel. Jake the Snake Radiff. Jake Ullman.

Jamie Poncia Jasper Jeffrey James Well James Jesse a terry robe for this Mary bro makes the ladies say Oh hello Tipton Jive Gosley Caleb Luster

Kinsey Owes Laura Brennan Let's talk about Grey Baby Let's talk about Review Jive Gosley Caleb Luster Kinsey Owes Laura Brennan Lauren Malang Let's talk about Grey Baby Let's talk about Reviewing Let's talk about

All the good things Mr. Tuesday Night Can bring So Actually no That rhythm would work Let's talk about All the good things

Mr. Tuesday Night Can bring So Maggie Anderson. Malik. Mark Priest. Matthew Lizama. Michael Beggle.

Nate Porteus. New patron. Nolan Murphy. I'm not even joking, is the worst. Speaking to him is a chore. And I hope he falls down a flight of stairs, new patron. Nothing sometimes. Pappy Woodward Poppy Woodward more like pop my wood hard am I right Danny Pat Scott Phoebe Phoenix McBurnin Rooster Williams Sam Adams Sam Armstrong Sarah Space Ant. Spencer. Spider.

Spider Piter. Spider Piter. Spider Piter. Does whatever the fucks I want. Riley says, bit it again. Webs up my ass. Freaking cool. So fucking bad. These Vagabond Horse is longing to nay nay.

Oh, Xander Madsen. Yara Bouchard. Yasmin David. And you might be thinking okay tyler maybe you have a cool middle name nope it's kevin of all the names tyler and kevin wow so shout out everybody thank you keep them coming those are always fun uh and you can follow riley on instagram at riley anspa on Twitter at RileyCoyote, and the show on Instagram at ReviewReview, and follow the subreddit r slash ReviewReview. Let's keep the subreddit going. Some people saying they were bummed about that.

It's kind of died down. You can follow Jeff on Instagram at JeffyJames, on Twitter at, don't fuck me. I haven't done that in a while. On Twitter at JeffBoyRD. And if you want any more of our content, go to patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff. Just do it. Check it out. And if not, we'll see you guys again next week.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of Review Review. We'll see you guys when we see you next. Arriba de. Nice. Yeah. That was a Hiddem original.