Review Revue - Sur La Table (w/ Irene Walton!)
Episode Date: April 20, 2021Irene Walton (host of Dead Dad's Kitchen) joins Reilly and Geoff to read reviews about Sur La Table and to discuss gift cards, being in the wrong, and you-break-it-you-buy-it scenarios!Click ...here to buy tickets to Review Revue Live on 4/21 @ 6pm PT!Follow Irene, Reilly, and Geoff:IG: @homemadebyirene, @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @homemadebyirene, @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
At participating restaurants for a limited time.
No way.
And now, beginning here,
I listen to my favorite podcast,
Riley and Jeffrey James
these cool
podcasts
from the HeadGum
Network
I have
a belly full
of
licorice
I found on
the highway
And more, much more than this
I ate a tire
Red juice, I've heard a few
But then again, too few to be shy
I wore all black clothing
But still I could not get into bird guide.
I planned your parents' divorce.
I hid my tracks all along my way.
But more, much more than this,
I did it, Marty
Yes, there were times
We were almost sued
When I just wanted to fuck you
But through it all
When they were jorts
I put them on
My wagon of sorts
I played them all
They got the gall
Review, review. Review.
Who did that?
That was from Andrew.
He didn't give us his full name, so I won't say it.
But that's from Andrew.
So shout out, Andrew.
He says, hi, Ryland A and Dan from 128 Days, which I think is a Jeffrey the Dumbass reference.
I made something that puts the sin in Sinatra.
And if you wanted to play it for your little radio show I think that would be pretty
bad but cool in a way for me
that was
otherworldly it took me
to a place where I forgot
my own name
it made me forget why I'm here
yeah
I ate a tire
but this much more than this I ate a tire I ate a tire but this
much more than this
I ate a tire
also that incredible
angelic voice you heard
we have such a special guest on the pod today
no one's ever said that before
oh my god Jeff just showed a photo
that Andrew sent in an email
right before we move on Andrew did photoshop my face
onto Frank Sinatra's face
and not even photoshopped.
It's just like a photo of Jeff
clipped onto Frank Sinatra.
We have an incredible guest.
I hate to interrupt.
The picture of
Jeff is black and white.
And the picture of Sinatra is color.
That is true.
That is true.
And that is true. In case anybody didn is some that i just had to let in case
anybody didn't see just wanted to remind you we'll instagram this incredible angelic voice a dear
friend uh a fucking chef a baker a vlogger an incredible person i'm so happy bobby flay's podcast. Oh my God.
Robert.
Hey, everybody.
I don't know how Bobby Flay's up.
It's not right here.
Not at all what he sounds like.
He's not from New York.
Nobody will.
Irene Walton is here.
Hi, Irene.
Hi.
Thank you guys so much for having me.
This is like, this is such an honor.
I listen to this podcast all the time it like you yeah okay so
you know you what i guess i was gonna say that you've adopted shine even more so than we have
we don't even use biggest champion yeah i think champion is the funniest thing in the world now
here's why it brings me so much joy to show you guys people saying chine,
even though I know you're like, we know you say it.
Like, it's very similar.
I know what you mean.
I love, because it's like, I love seeing, one, I love seeing you use it.
It just makes me so happy.
But two, I love, like, you sharing it with people who have no context
for what it is other than you just explaining it's cheese and fine and
then being like okay michael michael still says it and like you guys have seen michael and you've
seen him in videos and stuff and like my boyfriend he's very like aggressive and like kind of
obnoxious but he's very smart so he like speaks very veryquently, but we'll leave a restaurant.
And he's like, honestly, like it was just chine at best.
He says it in such an intense way.
To leave like a $300 dinner and he's like, chine.
And I'm like, you don't get it, but you really commit.
And I love that.
But also he absolutely gets it.
The sprouts were chine at best. I don't know. Like, what did you think about the absolutely gets it. The sprouts were chine.
I don't know.
Like, what did you think about the dinner? I thought it was a two-star Michelin restaurant.
I thought it was like kind of the most inventive meal I've ever had in my life.
But yeah, I guess it was cheese and fine.
It was chine.
Yeah, you want to plug your stuff up top?
Your Patreon, patreon.com forward slash Irene Walton.
I would.
Oh my God.
I guess I don't have to now.
Thank you.
Right.
So let her do it, right?
You asked if she wanted to plug it
and then you proceeded to plug it.
Irene Walton on Instagram.
Is that your handle?
Nope.
Yeah.
But it could be.
If somebody gave it the fuck up.
What is it then?
Homemade by Irene.
It's homemade by Irene on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
I don't put too much effort
into tiktok i spent all of my time on tiktok trying to get john mayer to notice me i see your
comments okay so here's the thing about irene and this is what i love about having her on is that
she's also a she's a watch nerd and b she's a john mayer stan through the lens of watches and music
such as myself so and so what i'll do is i'll be on tiktok scrolling and
he'll post a tiktok that's either funny or not and the first comment always die
so he'll just kind of post like a video of will ferrell 2005 he's never done that
he's never done that what do you post like yeah musical comedy sorry he's actually never done
that that's not something Mayer would do.
And if you think that, you don't know Mayer.
But basically every first comment on his thing, it's my humidifier.
There was like a plume of vapor.
Are you fucking vaping, dude?
Jeff has like a dry ice cauldron.
I have a dry eye cauldron.
From Halloween going all the time.
All the time.
If we turn the lights off, it would just be a hue of orange and black.
Every first comment on a John Mayer TikTok, at least on my For You page, is Irene saying,
ha, that's funny, but show us your watches.
He won't do it.
He won't do it.
I've duetted him and I've made videos specifically for him and my goal in life
is to run into him somewhere in LA and be like oh my god weren't you on Talking Watches and that's
all I want yeah because you know his address yeah yeah you know his address why would I why would I
try to like it's double gated but has that ever stopped us in the past?
Unfortunately not.
Anything else to plug or mention?
Yeah, just like my YouTube channel is also just Irene Walton.
That's actually the only thing that's Irene Walton, so never mind that one.
Yeah, I have a little cooking series on there, a cooking show on there called Dead Dad's Kitchen.
So if you guys want to check that out,
that's where I make recipes that my dead dad used to make
and I share them with my friends.
And it's brilliant.
And I mean, it's just,
just go fucking watch it.
I don't even know what to tell you.
A good in is that Riley and I did an episode.
We made deviled eggs.
We did an episode that's still like one of,
which is so like self-serving to say,
but is still one of my comfort videos to watch
to make me laugh because you guys are so fucking funny in it.
It was such a fun video.
I remember going home afterwards and feeling ill,
not because of the time spent,
but because of the eggs consumed.
There was a lot of bacon grease in those.
There was a lot of bacon grease.
Now that we're about a year and a half out,
I think I fudged the recipe a bit.
I think the recipe, even if, I think I fudged the recipe a bit. I think the recipe,
even if executed perfectly, is
fudged. We should
have just made fudge.
Yeah, of course! You also sprung
it on us. We showed it up, we showed up
day of, and you're like, oh, we're making
devil eggs.
So no.
Because they were like Halloween
themed. Devil eggs?
No, they were alien eggs.
Alien deviled eggs.
Oh, yes.
So my...
Devil eggs.
One of my favorite moments on anything I've ever done is...
Or no, Jeff says, I don't know if it's a good time to mention this, but I don't like deviled eggs.
And then Riley goes, I don't either.
And I say, I don't either.
I thought that somebody would have had to right
no all three of us in a video that you decided to make of deviled eggs none of us wanted to eat
them and we're like well we're here and they're eggs and there was also a very messy project which
i also didn't inform you on and i was like you don't want to cover your hands in black food dye like what's the issue it was so potent it was perfect um you've also had billy
skifuri on uh john gabrus on so a lot of familiar faces everybody go check that out you'll you'll
love it i can't wait to like have people back on jeff also has his own episode which is like
climbing up in the ranks.
And so, Riley, we've got to have you on and beat it.
I am ready.
Well, not beat it.
Just to match it or be worse. No.
I'm fine with being equal.
That might be my first Millie view, honestly.
Really?
I can't wait.
Maybe our first Millie.
I can wait.
I can wait for that to happen.
Baby's first Millie.
But listen, we're not.
Well, I was going to say we're not here to talk about cooking, but we absolutely are.
Because Irene has brought us a topic near and dear.
It's the Sur La Table.
So that was actually a cover of Circle of Life by Elton John for the film The Lion King.
But instead of Circle of Life, it said Sur La Table because the episode today is Sur La Table.
Right.
Not only did you say it, you crushed it.
Thank you so much.
Bravo.
Irene, tell us about experiences.
Why Sur La Table?
We grew up lower middle class.
So we didn't have a ton of money to spend on frivolous things.
It was like we had food on the table. We had a roof our head that's what matters food sur la table we also had 18
la crusade cauldrons which seemed frivolous at the time my mom and i used to go to william sonoma
every saturday i know that's not what we're talking about i didn't get it confused
my mom and i used to go to will-Sonoma every Saturday because they had these like
little cooking demonstrations, not cooking classes. And so we would like get a little
sample and then just like walk around Williams-Sonoma and it's this beautiful store,
whatever. And it wasn't until I started my own kind of like culinary journey that I realized.
So, okay. I'm'm here I'm with it then I realized that there was an even
like higher level than William Sonoma because to me back when I was like 11 12 13 when my mom would
go to these my mom and I would go to these things I I saw a spatula that was like $20 and it was like, who could ever like, that's so beyond my purview of like what I think things cost and like
correctly. So, and then when I found Sur La Table and I was like, it's $50 for a spatula here,
that became like the thing, like, Oh my God, like one day I'll go on a shopping spree in sur la table and here's the real story
i would go into them all the time they're so beautiful they've got cooking classes going on
so it smells good people are usually very knowledgeable and like when we dive into
these reviews we may hear the opposite so i got this gift card when i worked i worked at
this bakery in los angeles that started in new york called milk bar and i was teaching uh baking
classes there i did invite you both to come you were both busy which is i wish i could have gone
i wasn't busy i just didn't want to do a class okay uh so i was busy and i wanted to go jeff
wasn't busy and could not have given less of a shit.
I was at this baking and I was like putting in fucking work at this job, dude.
Like I was not senior enough to have gotten the position I got, but like I made it happen.
Like I don't love to like pat myself on the back, but like I shouldn't have gotten that position.
But I did because I was like, I could fucking do this better than anybody.
And I didn't, but I did because I was like I could fucking do this better than anybody and I didn't but I got
close um and so I got they were like hey it's been a year we're so proud of you we want to
give you a little gift a little anniversary present and I was like oh my god like a I wasn't
expecting that at all and then when I saw what it was I was like holy shit you guys didn't have to do this and it was a surla tab gift card oh yeah bud and this holy shit is gonna be my first surla tab
purchase and I was like oh my god and so it didn't say how much was on it and I am again
grew up like not very well off so like I never expect a lot on there, but this is like a very big corporation,
you know, like they're doing well. Um, and I personally brought in like a ton of people to
take this class. So I thought it was going to be like, I thought that it would be $75.
And I was like, I'm going to get a nice little thing, whatever. It was not that.
25 or can I be right back? I want to show you what I got. Like, I'm going to get a nice little thing, whatever. It was not that. $25?
Can I be right back?
I want to show you what I got.
Yeah.
I hope it is like $10.
Yeah, it's like, it's $10.25, meaning it's definitely used.
They couldn't figure, they couldn't find something that would cost $10.
So they're just like, I'm not going to use it.
All right.
Are you ready?
Yes.
I don't know if I can lift this with one arm.
Am I right?
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I think it's going to be small as shit.
That's a mug.
That is a coffee mug.
How much?
Did you get $20?
It is a mug with a little bunny on it.
And it's a really cute mug, but it looks like something I could have gotten at a thrift
store for $0.90.
I would have preferred to get it at a thrift store, because I would have been like, oh, I bet this was a grandma. mug, but it looks like something I could have gotten at like a thrift store for 90 cents.
I would have preferred to get it at a thrift store because I would have been like, oh, I bet this was like a grandma.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there's no story behind it.
18.95.
So cute.
Exactly right.
I got.
You throw it out the fucking window.
I've been saving it the whole time for this moment.
Praying that you chose Sur La Table out of all the things.
Irene put it, set it on her windowsill, but like it it's behind a curtain so it did look like she just tossed it
out it's just gone yeah so how much was the gift card of course twenty dollars got it that's
unbelievable milk bar has so much money get me milk bar has so much money but also then get me
something i can use twenty dollars at like right i Give me a Target gift card with $20 and I would have been like, wow, I get to buy detergent.
So this Target gift card was burning a hole in my pocket for a year because COVID.
God.
And you got a mug.
The whole time you didn't know how much cash was on it.
Expectation building exponentially.
And a mug.
Again, you're totally right, Jeff. I still don't know how much is on it expectation building exponentially and a mug again you're totally right jeff i still don't
know how much is on it i take my like little sister babysitter person to she's not my babysitter
i was her babysitter and now we're like family friends yeah so i took my babysitter to
i should say my babysitter took me so we she really wants to go to brandy melville and the closest one is in
thousand oaks and we pull up and there's a surla tab and i was like oh my god like this literally
i was like this is my moment so i take her to her stupid store and then i'm like bitch we're going
to surla tab and she's like i don't want to and i was like tough shit i drove i don't want to so we pull it we we walk in and i
like run to the counter i'm like i want to see how much is on this gift card just so i can like
sort of budget out my my trip oh god like okay uh and then she goes oh and i so i said oh and she Oh? And she said, you got about 20 bucks on there. And I said, what's up?
And she said, 20.
And I said, okay, stellar.
Now, I don't want... 20 hundred?
20, I'm sorry, three zeros, two zeros?
Zeroes?
One zero.
One zero.
Okay.
No, two zero dot zero zero.
No, I don't want your, like, I don't want the review reviewers is that what they're called
the reviewers the podcast and i forget why we named him that was it because of cats the musical
i think it was because of jazz because of jazz jazz cats irene's one of those cooking cats she's
one of those big cats cooking cat so i don't want the podcast to think i'm ungrateful i really
appreciated it it was very sweet gesture but you can't get anything at Sur La Table for $20.
It's also not from a friend.
It's from a literal corporation.
Yeah.
You can be ungrateful.
Know the context.
It's like $20 could go a long way in some places.
And nowhere it can go to.
Give me $20 and quarter bit quarters.
Like, I'll do my laundry.
So whatever.
So I was like, okay, $20.
I find like a cute little mug and never cared.
And not once, not twice, but three times, three different employees during our trip,
during my 12 minutes in this store that I've idolized for 10 years, different employees
came up to both her and I, and they were like, have you seen this glittery maple syrup?
And I was like, I i'm sorry what's that
i said the first time i was like oh no like it's cute it's maple syrup
it's maple syrup with glitter in it of course i'm of course i'm sorry
and so i was like cool above my budget it was 22 so i didn't even have a shot in hell
just out of reach somebody else came they said did you see
the glitter maple syrup I said oh yeah actually yeah like she just yeah she just showed it to me
and as we're leaving the lady checking us out goes wait did you happen to see the glitter maple syrup
I saw the syrup I can't afford the syrup I was like i only have 20 give me the mug i can't afford
anything else with the mug right now so this was just fresh in my mind when you guys were when we
were talking about where to do it so i was like surla tabs adoption anyway 18 minutes story short
that's why i wanted to do no i i am thrilled um jeff any surla experience? I did a cooking class and we made a pie on the day.
Really?
At Sur La Top?
This would have been a cherry peach tort, if I'm not mistaken.
If memory serves me correct.
Stop grasping your chin hairs as you say that.
I'm just twisting them.
Stop twiddling with them.
They're too short to twist.
But they're just long enough to grab
exactly right terrible was this in was this in shaggy falls or was this this would have been
florida this would have been the fort lauderdale greater area it was not would have been because
it was this would have been 2015 i believe wait why are you in Florida? Who are you right now?
We used to vacation in Naples, Florida.
It was sort of where Clevelanders would go, Gulf Coast and away.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
High school sweetheart joined us that trip, and we did a cooking class on it.
Full name?
Her name is ******.
******.
And we, yeah, we burnt a pie, and that was she but at the time we burnt an apple what's that supervised baking class supervised baking class
uh but the coach if you want to call them that did not really care about our asses we burnt an
apple pie because she was the apple of my eye and at a certain point the crust became too much
and uh it began to rust into dust i did not have the pie that day i look at sur la table with a
certain fondness a yeah land that plane if you're gonna rhyme the whole thing it doesn't have to
rhyme you taught me i know i know i was just gonna say it doesn't have to i've never been to sur la top i've never been i would love to go to
a sur la top i'd be interested in browsing imagining what my life would be if i could put
syrup with stars in it on my waffles why is that good to have like i feel like i would just be
off put if someone gave me a plate of waffles. And there was glitter. It just looks like I can't eat it.
The thing is, it was very pretty in the bottle.
But on the day on the waffle, I could imagine it being just looking like dust.
On the day slash waffle, I could see it tasting awful.
Should we take a little break?
Let's take a little break and get into these reviews.
Marty.
Who wants to start us off?
I'm usually a volunteer.
Go for it.
All right.
Okay. Start us off. I'm usually a volunteer. Go for it. All right.
Okay.
Let's see what fucking Walton brings to the Sir LaTable table. I'm so sorry about her eyes.
She's never been like this.
Riley, I love that.
It's like when you're trying to hire a babysitter
and your kid acts up as soon as the babysitter shows up on the day,
and you're like, he's never like this.
Patricia K.
Do we have a last name for K? Patricia Karket.
Nice.
Irene just
fucking glared at me
for that.
Patricia Karket, one year ago
from the
Sur La Table in
this was the Grove one. I purchased a 179.99 coffee pot and when i
was unpacking it i broke the carafe i went online and couldn't find a replacement i went to amazon
and couldn't find one either i finally called the small appliance company and was told that they no longer make the coffee pot seriously why would
this company be selling outdated appliances not the issue not the issue at all the sheer like
gall to be like i broke it and it's your fault. I couldn't handle it.
It makes me think of
after a breakup
or something and it's like you just
want your friends to be on your
side and it doesn't matter what happens.
You know you want your buds to be like,
yeah.
You're in the wrong boat.
And yeah,
Jason, we ended things last night.
And like, I honestly like, I couldn't, well, yeah.
I mean, like I slept with his brother.
Did you finally tell him or did he, did he find out?
Oh, I was looking through his phone when he came in to see if he had found out, to see
if he was texting people or planning on breaking up with me.
And then he came in and he's like like what are you doing on my phone and i was like oh i was just i was just i was just and then
because i wanted to distract from looking on his phone i told him that i slept with peter
and so then he got really mad and then so he dumped me it's like wasn't that so fucked up
like he didn't even like give me he didn't even give it a chance i mean girl we've been best
friends for what 12 years like 12 years was he like a dick was he like did he like yell at you when you told him you were on
his phone and like that's why he was an asshole he did something even worse in that he took the
high road can you believe that can you believe that jenny you haven't said a fucking word can
you believe that he took the high road i don't want to speak for dossie i don't know if either
of us are on your side, though, is the thing.
Like, you cheated on him and you snooped on his phone.
And you said Peter, right?
Which is logically flawed.
His brother.
His brother, Peter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just so invasive because that's like messing up family.
You dated Peter for a while, right?
Yeah.
So it's also like a fucking affront to me as a friend so not only did you
cheat on your boyfriend but you also fucked my ex which is kind of off limits in a way if you're
really my friend what's happening i thought i invited you guys over tonight to be in support
of me you didn't tell us what happened until we got here. No, let me fucking talk, Jenny.
You've only been talked.
I said, hey, ladies, come on over for a natural wine night.
That's all you said.
And I might have a natural wine.
W-H-I-N-E.
Okay?
I need to have a wine wine.
And now I'm not having a good time.
Because you two are supposed to be my ladies.
My sisters. Girl girl we are we're just
like trying to like figure out like who's like actually in the wrong here i've seen some legal
paperwork on your desk you're drafting up a lawsuit against this guy what the hell is that
what you're suing him for emotional distress do you i am distressed and i'm emotional so yeah i
think i'm gonna sue him for emotional distress.
Flipping through.
Yeah, restraining order.
What do you need to be restrained from him for?
You said that he talked to you softly.
You cheated on him.
He killed me with kindness.
He said he's moving out of the apartment that he pays for.
You guys are fully understanding it in the way that he is letting me keep everything.
And that's what's so fucked up.
He's taking the high road.
He's like, you take whatever you want.
You get whatever help you need.
You take the dog.
You take the apartment.
Take $500,000 just for fun.
Because he can afford it.
He gave me half a million dollars.
And can he afford that?
Or is that going to really put a stress on him?
It's going to put a stress on him.
It's really going to put him in the hole. I'm thinking about the more you think about it about it the more wrong everything becomes i don't know how you're having the inverse reaction so just to
recap you cheated you cheated on alex right jason you cheated on jason alex jason alexander yeah
so yeah i did you cheated on jason you with his brother alexander you're also named you're also
a name dropper i'm trying to avoid the fact that you did cheat on one of the stars of the most
successful sitcom in hollywood history you cheated on jason alexander with his brother peter alexander
he's also your best friend me jenny's ex-boyfriend yeah you are suing him for emotional distress yes
accepted his offer of half a million dollars which i guess is the last of his residual money
yes and now you invited us over here to whine over wine and to give me support because it's like i
know guidance is what you should have asked for because we're not just going to blindly give you
support everything you've done has been a psycho emotional spiritual offense on all of your loved ones and it
almost feels like self-sabotaging i'm wondering if there's something else going on in your life
that has led to all of this jenny actually can we can i like pull you into the bedroom really quick
yeah do you like have a second close the door what the fuck is wrong with you you fucking little
coward ass traitor little fucking chicken shit are you kidding me bitch what is wrong with you i just said everything you said back to you
and now you're mad at me no you're twisting you make it seem like it's my fault i'm trying to
generate some kind of sympathy for you like if there's something else going on just tell me and
then i'll have some kind then i'll be on your side but if you did this for no reason i'm not on your
side what are you crying about are you not on your side. What are you crying about?
Are you crying because there's something else, or are you crying because I'm not giving you sympathy?
I'm crying because you're not giving me sympathy.
All right, I'm gone.
I'm gone.
You're just a bad person, and that's it.
I broke the carafe.
What? I was unboxing a coffee pot a couple weeks ago, and I broke it, and they didn't have any replacements, so I fucked Peter for all I was worth, and then I left Jason, or rather, Jason left me for all he was worth, and so I got the 500K, I got the dog,
I got the Santa Monica townhouse,
but I don't have the crap
for the support of my gal pals.
Well, I have Stassi,
but I don't have you.
Oh, God.
So you broke glass and then hearts.
Get out!
All right, I am.
Hey, girl, do you think I can make a quick cup of coffee?
No!
Jeffrey, do you have a revue?
I do.
This is one star at the Americana, so not quite the Grove.
One star from Jane Jay.
One star from who?
Jane Jay.
Jane Jane.
Jane Jane.
Jane Jane. Wait, Jay and Jane? one star from jane jay one star from who jane jay jane jane jane jane jane jane jane jane jane it's actually jane jane jay and jane are true oh my god of my aunt and uncle i'm just saying
that's very real my aunt jay and uncle jay sorry my aunt jane and uncle jay that's yes they're
married this is so many ja sounds.
It's going to be a nightmare to listen to.
I'm not cutting any of it out.
When I go visit family, it's Aunt Jane and Uncle Jay.
Aunt Jane and Jane.
And did they get Jane and Jay?
Maybe there was like an Aunt Jane on one side and an Uncle Jay on another.
I don't think so.
We got my Aunt and Uncle Jay and Jane.
Do Jay and Jane ever wear J's on their feet?
Oh, like the shoe.
Like the Jordan. No, they don't. Do they have any pet blue J's? Yeah. Do Jay and Jay have wear Jays on their feet? Oh, like the shoe. Like the Jordan.
Do they have any pet blue Jays?
Yeah.
Do Jay and Jay have any pet Jays?
Yeah, they have pet Jays and they wear Jays and they smoke Jays.
That's really cool, actually.
One star.
Great location, but rude, rude, rude representative.
Literally a pretty woman moment.
Did I look like I shouldn't be in that
store did i look like i can't afford a coffee machine i don't understand why this woman working
there brunette with glasses by the way was just so absolutely rude and unhelpful good grief it's
only sur la table don't be a jerk i love to think that she's like blaming it all on her appearance, but she's actually being like a fucking maniac.
Excuse me.
Hey, what's the price on these?
This food processor.
Yes, sir.
Hello.
Thank you.
Hi.
I'm Tina.
I'm the clerks here.
No, I don't think so.
It's Tina Stevenson.
I love her music, though. No. You know, I'm going to ask you to keep it down. Me too. No, I don't think so. It's Tina Stevenson. Oh. I love her music, though.
No, you know what?
I'm going to ask you to keep it down.
Me too.
We have cooking.
Ha, yeah.
We have a cooking class going on a little bit down the hall.
So we want them to be able to hear the instructor.
Oh, hey, I get it.
I get it.
I can be super quiet if I get a discount.
Well, you don't need to whisper.
We can talk normally.
I can be super quiet if I get a discount.
Ha, no.
Otherwise, I can't confirm or deny how loud I'm going to whisper. I can be super quiet if I get a discount. Otherwise, I can't
confer that I'm going to be.
Excuse me. We can talk
at normal voice. We can talk at speaking volume.
Sorry, you wanted to know about the coffee machines?
Tina, is everything going okay over here?
Yeah. Are you the manager?
Yeah. Hi.
Hi.
I'm wondering.
What did you say? I just wanted to make sure everything was fine. You got one of our best employees helping you out, so I just wanted to make sure everything was fine. I'm wondering. What'd you say? I just wanted to make sure everything was fine.
You got one of our best employees helping you out,
so I just wanted to double check that everything was okay, okay?
Oh, I got the best employee.
I got the highest ranked employee.
I'm starting to feel like a VI person.
Listen.
Yeah, Cassandra, we got a code blue.
We got a code blue over here.
I just want to let you know.
I lean on a shelf.
Like, really casually, but it all falls like dominoes.
Listen, I was wondering. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I just want to let you know. I lean on a shelf. Like really casually, but it all falls like dominoes. Listen, I was wondering. Oh, no!
Oh! Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry. It's kind
of like a break it, you buy it situation.
I can only assume, although... Sir,
it very much is the policy
in this store. You did just
knock over quite a few
Staub pans, and
a lot of them broke. They are
ceramic. I thought those were durable.
I thought that was the whole stob guarantee.
Not from 30 feet.
So all the top shoppers.
This is broken merchandise, though, so I'm wondering if there's a discount.
No, you know what?
Sorry, Cassandra.
He's been asking for discounts all afternoon.
Sir, there's not going to be any discounts for what you broke in our store.
So either you're going to have to buy it all right now.
My neck.
Oh, I think that the shelf hit my neck.
The shelf fell the other way.
You're just rubbing your neck very hard.
You don't know what I'm feeling.
I think that's a lawsuit.
I think it might be a lawsuit unless there's some kind of discount.
I don't think there's a lawsuit.
I think we're going to have to ask you to leave.
I'm sorry.
I'm just going to make the call, sir.
I think we're going to have to ask you to go.
I see what's happening here. I'm glad. go i see what's happening here i'm glad i know exactly what's
happening i'm glad you guys think i can't afford anything in here and that i'm ugly based on the
clothes i'm wearing i see you know what i'm gonna pretty women you guys's asses sir i can sir i can
guarantee you that that is absolutely not the case i am half true i know you can't afford anything
here because you've been asking for discounts since the moment you step foot in the store hey but that is absolutely not the case. I am so- It's half true. I know you can't afford anything here
because you've been asking for discounts
since the moment you stepped foot in the store.
Hey, respect the rank.
Your manager's speaking.
Tina is correct.
I'm going to have to just,
she's been handling this absolutely beautifully.
I will have to ask her to leave.
Thanks, boss.
Sorry, you said you were going to pretty woman us?
I'll be back in a week.
Cut to a week later.
He's like barely dressed up.
Like it's what he thinks.
We finally put the last piece of merchandise back up.
We see that he's like dressed up,
but it clearly looks like it's his idea of what looking nice is.
So his hair is gelled and he just looks like a giant toddler who went dressed up for Easter.
Argyle everything.
Tina, thank you so much for coming in early today.
You did not have to do that.
Absolutely. No, no, no, no.
I want you to know, you've really been shining this
past week. I can't, like, that customer was...
Excuse me!
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
New customer here. You've never seen me before.
I'm wondering if I could buy the
whole lot. The whole lot of
what, sir? Everything in the
store. You want to buy
the entire store? Yeah, and if you start ringing it up, I'll Everything in the store. You want to buy the entire store?
Yeah, and if you start ringing it up, I'll know that it worked.
Sorry.
Because that means you think I can't afford it all.
Sir, that was out loud.
I don't know if that was meant to be out loud, but you said that out loud.
What's that?
It's no secret to us that you are indeed the very person who knocked over all of these ceramic pans.
I don't know what you're
talking about, but that person sounds
like he's moved on and doesn't owe you
anything. I turn on the vacuum
and almost like a cartoon,
it like rips the suit off and
underneath are the same clothes that you wore.
Oh! Damn it!
Alright, sir, we're
obviously gonna have to ask you to go.
I know! Oh! So go! all right sir we're obviously gonna have to ask you to go i know
okay so go you're standing in the same spot it's almost like i won the lottery for no reason off
that scratch off what no it's like i have it's weird because i have the money and now i'm like
you're kicking me out and you're clearly giving up on me buying everything you're holding a gift card for our store maybe we could ring it up see how much is on there no i mean i'm going
you wanted me to leave so i'm out i mean no well yeah if somebody gave you a gift card that's
perfectly legal tender if you would like to get something from the store we would be more than
happy to show you around and maybe we could just um tina do you want to just check that
yeah you know i wonder if if know, if you won the lottery,
and you're so intent on buying the lot of the store,
then you probably would have transferred your earnings to this gift card, right?
Well, why don't you ring it up, I guess,
if you're so obsessed with this gift card and find out.
You know what?
I'm not obsessed with the gift card.
You're obsessed with here.
We want to make sales.
I run off commission.
So I am going to ring it up, but not because I'm obsessed with you. Sorry. I feel like I we want to make sales i run off commission so i am gonna ring it up but not because i'm obsessed with you sorry i feel like i just had
to say that she rings it up i think pops up on the screen that's supposed to give a dollar value
but it's the dollar sign and then in place of a number it just says you've been had
tina what are we looking at tina what are we looking at we Tina, what are we looking at? We're looking at he got us.
We're looking at he got us, Cassandra.
And I hope you've learned a very valuable lesson
in not judging a book by its cover.
You still owe us.
You still can't afford it.
You wrote $4,000 worth of merchandise.
What were we supposed to learn?
We were absolutely right not to trust you.
You were then mean after we learned to trust our instincts like we have been doing
i see what that actually makes way more sense i don't think i don't think i did this right
i'm gonna go do this the same thing to william sonoma oh yeah yeah actually actually please do love that um all right should
we do our last segment yeah this should be all week one irene what's been shaking you a piece of
media a hobby something you read anything the floor is yours go.
I wish this was Earthquake Week.
Then I would have been able to say a goof.
I wish this was Earthquake Week.
Is that like Shark Week, but for like moving tectonic plates?
It aired for one week in 2008 and it never caught on.
You can throw up for magnitude because anything above it is scary.
I've been really loving the podcast Stuff You Should Know.
And like for the longest time in quarantine,
I kind of stopped listening to podcasts just because my commute stopped.
Like I stopped driving so many places all the time and I usually like to listen to them
on my drive.
But now I've been listening to, well, here's what happened.
I used to really like watching TV while I cooked, like just having the Simpsons on in
the background or something.
But my boyfriend mounted our TV so it can't turn to me anymore. Perfect.
Which is a great problem to have.
No, it's not.
So I started listening to podcasts again, and I've been listening to Stuff You Should Know again, and I've been loving it.
That's wonderful.
What's something that it's taught you recently that's kind of, like, also been shaping you?
What's something that now you know?
Yeah.
I learned today that there are people called palindromists
who like come up with the best palindromes and that's very near and dear to little orini's heart
because my middle name yeah is hannah oh so they get paid to come up with palindromes i don't know
if they get paid i think it's sort of like a hobby vibe like people who like love crosswords
right um and so like um there were a bunch of fun ones which now of course i'm forgetting
but it's like oh like tons of ufo snot is a palindrome oh my god so like weird al yankovic
is a palindrome that makes sense everybody who you would think is is yeah so it can even be phrases yeah yeah yeah well and some people think that like
numbers are a palindrome like 11 11 and it's like yeah i guess but like anybody can that's
not as fun you can yeah that's actually really cool so what about 12 323 21 not right what about 123. 21. Fuck. Not right. What about 64?
Wait, go with me for a second.
What about fucking the?
Wait, I think my name's a palindrome too.
There are two Fs.
You don't know what that means.
I don't know what that means.
What about you?
Let's check you guys.
What's been shaking me is that Doge coin money i what's it at well uh you want to
get a crunch the numbers live right now i've i made eight hundred dollars overnight last are you
serious yeah because i uh okay 700 now it dropped by uh a cent but um basically i bought in that in january and so i have like a couple thousand
doge coins or whatever and um this is insane i've made a lot of money in the past 24 hours
doing nothing yeah that's crazy to the moon doge to the moon and if you're listening this to this
now's the time to get in um i think it's only up from here it might take little dips
here and there because like a week ago i was down two hundred dollars now i'm up eight hundred
dollars seven or seven hundred dollars now but um that's wild it's uh it's the next coin i think
for sure i don't understand any kind of cryptocurrency at all it's nothing there's
like no layer to get beyond what you already know surface level it's just a dumb
digital coin with it and he'll be like he was trying to he's like i lost a lot of money yesterday
i'm like why he's like i tried to buy in a dip and i was like isn't that when you're supposed to buy
and he's like well you buy in the dip but then it goes up and you buy again but you let it go and i
was like what it's now that's too much i have no comprehension of it that happened to me
earlier today i sold because it dipped a little bit and then i bought immediately afterwards and
i got 500 more coins for uh at a gain of five dollars by the way jeffrey doge the moon um
thank you thank you next week jeff and i are gonna record together in person for the first
time since march 2020 because we're both fully vaccinated we're both fully vaccinated we're both
two like two weeks past our second dose and so it's like i got to hug my nephew today like that
it's crazy and so i am so excited it'll be interesting to see the dynamic in person again,
because I haven't done a podcast with anybody.
I haven't performed with anybody in person
other than like doing bits with George.
And our live show is next week.
The studio?
No, we're going to do it at my house.
That's a good preemptive what shook me.
Yeah.
Irene, thank you so much for coming on.
We've wanted to have you on forever. And this was such a treat. So thank you guys so much for coming on we've wanted to have you on forever
and this was such a treat
so thank you guys so much for having me
it's truly such an honor
I look up to you guys so much
we'll have you on when we open
not we, when HeadGum opens
the new studio and we'll do it in person
another episode
any plugs, anything
you wanna, anything coming up, anything you wanna
share dogecoin just buy my dogecoin um any any plugs anything you want to anything coming up anything you want to
share dogecoin uh just buy my dogecoin buy my nc whatever those are called
that's the next frontier is nft and frontier t yeah no just all the same stuff homemade by
irene on instagram twitter and tiktok if that something. And then my YouTube channel is Irene Walton.
And if you fall in love with me on any of those,
you can check my Patreon out, which is Patreon.
Which you will, which you will, which you will.
Fantastic.
Oh, tomorrow, Review Review Live,
our first live show, Wednesday, April 21st, 6 p.m. Pacific.
Get your tics.
Are you guys so excited?
We are.
I'm so excited.
We have a tech run through after this.
I'm like so excited.
Get your tics.
It's going to be a good time.
And if you miss tomorrow's show, if you can't make it tomorrow, it will be available to
watch through Sunday night.
So get your tics for that.
iGum.com slash live.
And they have a link there.
And there's only two more chances to catch Into the Mist.
We are having such a ball with it.
You guys got to come.
For the last show.
What do you say?
I want to so bad.
I'll miss my Shabbat service.
So go to IntoTheMist.net slash tickets
for our last two Into the mist shows we've
just had such a fun time it's been it's been amazing having review review listeners um come
to the show and like hang with us and that's just been like such a treat um so yeah um you can find
jeff on instagram at jeffrey james on twitter at jeff boyardee you can find our show on instagram
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Me making you say things makes me feel powerful
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parentheses, for the love of all things Chine,
will someone please just hire Nolan Murphy,
end parentheses.
Nate Porteus. And Irene, now's your time to shine. Nolan Murphy? End parentheses. Nate Porteus.
And Irene, now's your time to shine.
Nolan Murphy got that second dose in vain,
and also his search for employment has been in vain.
So the first one, B-E-I-N.
The second one, B-A-I-N.
That's our patron, Nolan Murphy.
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Any parting wisdom teeth, Irene?
Do something even if it's not perfect
yet oh love that that's really good all right arrivederci that was a hit gum original