Review Revue - Swing Sets

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

This week on Review Revue; Reilly and Geoff read reviews on SWINGSETS and film a successful documentary for the wrong reasons, enjoy profiting off endangering children, and buy real-estate in Ann Arbor.   Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Edited by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. It's not simple to say

Most days I don't recognize thee These shows and this station That pod and its patrons Have taken shows and this station that pod and its patrons have taken more than it gave them it's not easy to know it's not anything like it used to, although it's true, it was always a tension on all days. I still remember those cheeks. It's imperfect, but he tries.

It is round, No surprise. It is hard to maintain. It is juicy, but it ain't the same. It's unholy. Most of the time, it is all of this mixed up and baked like a beautiful cake. No way. No, no, no. And it used to be a child's name. What a way to start the new year. There's no. Okay. When I heard those opening chords, I'm like, okay, we're getting a she used to be wine from waitress cover.

Can't wait. Can't wait. Wait, there's no world in which I ever thought that I would hear a cover of that song from Waitress about your ass. I get that, but hear me out. What if an amazing rendition did come in from Haze? Haze, that moved me. And I'm not sure in which direction but it did just a lateral move they said hello riley anspaugh and i want to say nolan murphy which is kind of fucked up i i i don't know the show waitress either so this is uh i do and that was um so nor so jeff uh because you don't know which is thereress either. So this is. I do. And that was.

So Nora. So Jeff, because you don't know Waitress, there's a song called She Used to Be Mine. And it's about. Yeah, it's about this woman who's like going through a huge crisis in her life. And she's pregnant, wants to leave her husband, is in love with her OB, who's married doctor. And everything's just crazy right now. And so it's just like really reexamining her life and the woman she used to be um that she wants to change as she's like i'm gonna be a mom but like how can i take care of myself and so that song has now been translated about your ass my rump yeah yeah okay rumpel thin skin because please tread lightly i'm just a little insecure resolutions galore

it's the 21st of december what do we think at the time recording and it is the solstice so at the time of recording what do we think 2022 will hold for us listen i feel like a lot needs to be seen in the next two to three weeks yeah um we were just waxing omicron right before this yeah it's a hellscape nightmare um i think it's gonna be really bad until like february and then it's gonna be okay again february of 2023 2022 it's not gonna be over but i think it'll be back to where we were in nove, which was fine enough. God, I hope so. I have no idea.

It's very scary. But here we are. I mean, no, there's no but. It's going to be bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad.

Please stay safe, everybody. At the time of listening, whenever this comes out, it'll probably be even worse than it is right now. Right now, it's pretty bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Both you and I could have COVID. Yeah. At the time of recording, I do not um at the time of recording i might that's really good second time because i flew home second time club two timers club yeah um but i don't think i

have it because i've tested negative twice on at home tests and then i'm getting a pcr tomorrow so everything's just great and so that's why we're here to talk i mean like since we're at the time of release we're in the new year yes yes i texted jeff last night being like hey what what topic should we do to record because we're banking episodes before the holidays kick in yeah and one of the topics jeff sent i'm like what a perfect segue not really into 2022 and he said swing sets sure and so that's what we're doing and i'm like we're swinging swinging into 2022 jeffrey we're talking for some reason we're talking about swing sets today uh well you did say something like new year's eve when you're like champagne flutes and then swing sets i don't know why it came to my mind. Jeff, talk to me about

swing sets. When I was young, I used to swing on swing sets in a swing state. So I was in purple Ohio of yore on a purple saddle after my chores.

What can I say? I love a swing I love a swing so much what can I say I love a swing me and my buddy Tucker my best friend from home we used to hang out on the swing sets at recess and just do bits while everyone else kind of frivolously frolicked hither than thither

on the jungle gym. Would you be a swing set hog? Like, would other people want to be on the swings and you're like, mm-mm, no, I'm still using it. Well, it's first come, first serve, you know? So it's like I made sure to get my work done so that I could be the first one out of recess

to claim one of the good swing sets. Mm. They were bad swing sets? I meant to say good swings the good swing sets. They were bad swing sets? I meant to say good swings. One swing set, probably two bad ones, two good ones. I love a swing. I'm there with you. It's nice to swing, yeah.

It's nice to swing. It's nice to swing, and we've always said that. I love a swing set. Growing up, there was our, like in our park, there was a swing set that I adored and you have the swing set that's like for babies you know you put them in and let their little legs go through the holes

and you have the big kid swing set and so I do remember moving on up for babies and of course I do remember being a little rascal a little middle school rascal and thinking like what if I just put myself in the baby one

and you'd get stuck and you'd get stuck in there but god I just the days of asking someone to push you higher and higher and higher still and then if you were brave you'd get high and you'd be like watch

i'm gonna jump off i'm gonna jump and stick to land and stick to landing sure yeah sure sure and sometimes it'd be a little too high be like well i'll go the next one and uh so oftentimes it would be a little too high for me to feel safe uh so I'd slow down. I'd drag my feet in the sand just to kind of get it to slow down a little bit. And did you ever jump? A couple feet. A couple feet. And then, of course, there are the rascal boys, usually boys who are on the playground

flipping the swing. Oh, that's me. Horrible. Why would you do that? Wait, flipping the swing? No, like taking the swing and pushing it to try and wrap it around the bar at the top. Oh, why would you do that in the swing no like like taking the swing and pushing it to try and wrap it around the bar at the top oh i would never do that i thought you

were gonna say no i wouldn't do that it's so fucked up all right get behind a more important cause no it's like fucking ridiculous i mean it's like why would you no no no they've got people working on that they've gotten people working on that. They've got people working on that. No one's working on people flipping stories. Well, I don't know. People who, Park Rangers probably, right? Focus your efforts on shit that matters more. I am. Okay.

At least donate. I did. I did. Not I do. I did. I did. did 2016 so what i made a 25 should we jeff do you want to start us off with a swing set review so this is a what the fuck are we doing? We're in a pandemic spike and we're talking about swings. I hope that I have COVID on the 4th when this comes out so that it can be like, what is this? I have an irreparable respiratory disease.

Anyway, this is a four star review from Bruce. You want to give him a last name? Oh, just Bruce? Just Bruce. Almighty. Bruce Almighty from Muncie, Indiana. What's it up? It's of the Timber Valley Swing Set from Creative Cedar Designs.

So Muncie, Indiana is, I mean, you probably know this, but it's like a very mundane small town outside of Indianapolis, I think. And one of my favorite jokes from Parks and Recreation is Gary, or Jerry, or whatever you want to call him, is like, oh, yeah, I'm taking a vacation. I'm going to Muncie. And then Tom's like, what's in Muncie? I was like, oh, me and my wife have a timeshare.

And then Tom's like trying so hard not to say anything. He's like, in Muncie. I was like, oh, we have, me and my wife have a timeshare. And then Tom's like trying so hard not to say anything. He's like, in Muncie? Makes no sense. In Muncie? In Muncie? It's so good. Like pained trying not to make fun of him. I think that's the episode where they cannot make fun of him or something because he like has some kind

of health issue. Oh my god, so funny. Okay, four stars from Bruce Almighty. I have put together a few of these and the directions on this set have to be the hardest to follow that I have ever seen. That and the fact that I had two people sorting out the bolts and screws for over an hour did not make me happy either. You hire people to come roll the swing set for you. It's like when you're moving into college or a new apartment and it's like, Hey guys, I'm just moving into a new place and I have some stuff that I'd love to unpack. Would love your help.

I can get you pizza I can get you beer like whatever you need we can make a day of it but it would really really help you could just help me settle into my new home can't believe I'm a homeowner now homeowner? yeah

I thought you just said you were going to college I am going to but I figured like two birds one stone go to college and bought a house i bought a house on campus um okay are do you want to live in ann arbor for the rest of your life or i think when i came on my college tour when i came to visit umish yeah um i fell in love with the place and so that's why it's like that that's why I applied early decision to you, Mish, because I love the school.

I love the town. And so in thinking about my college career. Great college town. Great college town. And so because I love the town so much, I'm like, yeah, I can put roots down here. Yeah, I can put roots down here. And so like Tyler,

like to have you, my high school best friend, visiting me here and helping me move in. It just like, it means the world. And I'm doing, you know have you, my high school best friend visiting me here and helping me move in. It just like, it means the world. You know, I'm doing this gap year, so I'm trying to like learn as much as I can. This just does. And I haven't learned anything yet. This just doesn't seem like what, like you want to be an engineer, right?

How many engineering jobs are there in Ann Arbor? I feel like more than you'd think, more than you'd think. Um, at least I would think zero so at least two um and that's the thing it's like it's super competitive so that's why I'm trying to like settle down with roots here so that I can get that job pretty quickly they're not going to give you the job because you have a house in the area well they're not not going to give me the job because I have a house in the area yes that won't be a reason why they don't give it to you but they're not gonna you're not gonna get the job because you're a homeowner.

Just help me unpack. I don't know why we're getting into the nitty gritty of this. I bought you some IPAs. I bought you the impossible pepperoni. I'll start unpacking the boxes. Thank you. Those boxes over there, is that for the kitchen or is that for the living room? It's for a bit of both.

It's for a bit of both. Actually, oh, sorry. That one, that one's for the backyard. The one you're looking at, that's for the bit of both. It's for a bit of both. Actually, oh, sorry. That one, that one's for the backyard. The one you're looking at, that's for the backyard. Okay. I'll take this out there then. Takes it out to the backyard. Swingset.

Okay. You found it. That's the swingset box. Darcy, yeah. What, why this? Why this? Because you don't have kids, right? Well, I don't have kids yet.

Right. And so as I said, it's like I'm settling, I'm setting down roots so i'm gonna go to college i'm starting i'm starting my freshman year this week so i'm starting freshman year i'm prepping to get a job and this is where i want to raise a family and so it's like nesting i'm nesting already yeah i'm just trying to get ahead of the game i feel like now lately it's like if you're not on top of things if you're not applying for jobs if you're not freezing your eggs if you're not already putting

down payments on second homes it's like you're gonna get lost in the route did you do that yeah well you haven't done that where veil all right that's actually no that's actually kind of a smart investment you need a ski home for when you make the big bucks from an engineer being an engineer and the kids are gonna want to go so i've already started booking in advance i've already started booking skiing lessons for the kids in advance because i know that they're gonna want to do that it's gonna be important for me to learn how to ski so i can do it with them. Answer me this. Are you renting the house out when you're not using it? That probably would be more lucrative than what I'm doing now.

Which is? Not doing that. Right, right. So are you open to that? Because I actually think it's a great investment in terms of getting the tourism money to maybe fund the mortgage on this house, which is a bad idea, by the way.

I just, you're spending money in college. You're not making any money is a bad idea by the way i just you're spending money in college you're not making any money you don't have the engineering job you don't have children you're planning for a future that would be great but you can't put roots down for the life that you want not the life you have no that's dress for the job you want which you is which you could be doing which i do I wear a lab coat 24-7. Yeah, I don't know if you can wear a Quest Diagnostics lab coat when you don't work there, because that's actually borderline medical fraud.

Well, I'm not administering PCR tests. Okay, but that's actually maybe the one thing you could do as a volunteer. Listen, I love you, and it's okay. I feel like since we graduated, there's been a little bit of tension of like darcy is adulting she's adulting so hard and and you have just been kind of like

still trapped in that like teenage mindset and that's fine that you don't have your life figured out yet but it's just like i just don't want you to compare yourself to me i don't want it's like everyone's on their own journey and i don't want you to feel yourself to me. Everyone's on their own journey, and I don't want you to feel insecure about where you're at. That's not how I feel. No, I feel like you are making rash decisions that have financial consequences,

and instead of setting yourself up for success, you're actually doing the opposite. And I love you so much that I don't want to see that happen. How am I not setting myself up for success when I already have all my ducks in a row, everything in place? So all I need now is the job. Because you want to see that happen. How am I not setting myself up for success when I already have like all my ducks in a row, everything in place. So all I need now is the job.

Because you can't afford the ducks. Are the kids. Because you can't afford the ducks. Yes. And it's going to be hard to date. I will be able to afford the ducks. In five years? Yeah.

Okay. So five years of mortgage payments. That's a sixth of the mortgage. On two houses. Because you did the 30 years, right? You did the 30 years. Please tell me you did the 30 years and not the 15 got it starting to realize she's wrong right so a third of your mortgage is due before you have a job in a way and in the way there's only one way because you got the 15 year well i wish i was in

the family way but i'm not yet which is i'm planning for it nice and did you freeze your eggs no you were saying you sorry not just to pivot back you were saying it's gonna be harder to date why is it gonna be harder to date because you have a bunch of debt and you've already foreclosed on a house people think about that kind of thing people are gonna be like oh my god i want to date a homeowner i want to live in ann arbor full-time but you won't be a homeowner you'll be foreclosed upon and then you'll be a renter with debt instead of just being a renter right well what's your five-year plan go to college i have my gap year i'm going to europe i'm gonna woof it i'm gonna work on farms i'm

gonna learn a lot and then i'm going to michigan state i'm not jealous and then i'm gonna get my degree and hopefully work in finance it's a lot of maybes it's a lot of hopefully no it's not a lot of we'll see no i didn't say either of those words i didn't say any of those words you said hopefully hopefully i get the job you should be saying hopefully you get the job i know i'm gonna It's a lot of we'll see what happens. No, I didn't say either of those words. I didn't say any of those words. You said hopefully. Hopefully I get the job. You should be saying hopefully you get the job. I know I'm going to get the job. It's like that's the mindset I'm in.

I'm manifesting. Not even manifesting. No, you're an asshole. No, you're like an arrogant person, I think. Oh, God. All right, should we take a quick break and come back? Yes. With some more swing set reviews. Oh, my God. and we're back uh riley let's one of my favorite topics

so stupid okay this is for big backyardyard Andorra Swing Playset. And the review is from Caitlin S. Caitlin Swing. Caitlin Swing. It's four stars. The title is, You Want to Test Your Marriage? Buy This.

Longest four hours of my life. The instructions were by no means difficult to understand. I liked how each page at the bottom mentioned exactly which pieces you would need. If you put all the wooden parts and hardware in order slash grouped together, you really can cut down on time looking for pieces which can make the project take longer. But, you know, it was hot out and the instructions are detailed be sure everyone involved in building has been well fed prior to starting and keep water bottles on hand to avoid hangry comments it's like she's saying that it's like everything about it's like no it was so easy

they made it so user-friendly and made sure we had the's like no it was so easy they made it so user friendly and made sure we had the best experience possible it was just a horrible experience like they did everything they could and it was bad but like you can't fault them no it's not their fault it was it was hot and my my husband was being a dick but like other than that it was incredible it's like a fire fest style disaster documentary but it's it's supposed to be about a music festival that went well though all right and if you guys could just slate your your names and ages hi i'm trish and i am 27 years old i'm rich and i'm 27 years old sorry did you say you say you're rich?

Your name is rich or you're wealthy? I mean, like, mostly the name. His name's Rish. But I do okay. Sorry, I didn't hear it. It's Rish, not Rich. It's like Trish, but Rish. It's Trish, but Rish.

It's without the T, it's Rish. Yeah, it's Rish. Okay, got it. We got it. We got it. This is just for editing purposes. It's not going to be the documentary. Okay.

Sorry, how long did we say this was going to take? I thought this was only going to be like a quick in and out are you guys okay because this is volunteer based you don't have to be here no yeah we're fine it's just like well i'm fine i don't know about rich but i'm i'm good you can only speak for yourself like i've told trish so many times and i'm okay i literally said i'm fine i don't know about you but i'm fine that is speaking for myself rich i know it's just your tone is already getting angry wow tone policing and we haven't even started filming this is great love it wow okay um first question sorry sandy i didn't mean for rich's attitude to bring down the day that has barely even started no it's okay you guys can

it's okay you just have some water um so i guess what we wanted to do is highlight some of the positive aspects of uh the you know the the revival of the monterey pop festival uh this festival hasn't happened for so many years and now it happened and it went it went off without a hitch it was three days of peace love and uh music and we're wondering just what your experience was sort sort of an exit interview. It was pretty incredible. I mean, like, well... Sorry, can I go first? Because you've been talking so much since we sat down.

Yeah, I mean, you interrupted me, like, we barely even started, but yeah, no, go for it. You go first. I thought it was incredible. I mean... I literally just said that, but keep going. Let me finish. Don't...

I would never interrupt you. Go, then go. I would never interrupt you. You would never interrupt me? Just talk. The music was an unbelievable... I would never interrupt you you would never interrupt me just talk the music was an unbelievable it was the perfect lineup of all genres really I mean there was jazz there was pop

there was rap there was rock there was singer songwriter it was amazing we know what all the genres are but keep going I'm just highlighting specifics that we saw in the tents and on the stages. Okay.

There was a rave tent. There was a Dave tent. I had a great time and the organizers couldn't have done more for our comfort. There was free water and amazing porta potties. The Dave tent was amazing. I'm so glad we got to stream all of season two of Dave. That was like a nice cozy touch. That part was cool.

I think what ruined it was my wife. But yeah, let's hear from her. Are we still rolling on this, Sandy? Oh, yeah, we're getting all of this. Are you guys okay by the way we could take five? No. At this rate, it's probably not going in the documentary because now it's about you guys.

We are good. No, I want to make this about the festival the festival was impeccable i mean it's it was it was just it was fantastic i mean like rish said um there were all the genres and there was incredible there were incredible drinks there was amazing food like everything about the crowd control was out of this world um it could not have been better produced better designed better uh i mean just everything about it what the the execution was phenomenal um i had a horrible time but that's no fault of the festivals the festival itself was an unforgettable experience. Why did you have a bad time? Oh, well, I mean, like Rish was saying,

it's like the festival went off without a hitch. I would have rather it went off without a Rish because Rish was the one who sank, who tanked the entire experience for me. And I wish that my life had gone out without being hitched because marrying Trish has been one of the hardest experiences of my life had gone out without being hitched because marrying Trish has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. And they always say marriage is hard,

but rewarding. I haven't yet seen that. I have not reaped any kind of reward. Um, I mean, let me just give you an example. Like, yeah,

we were told to go. We're like, okay, we made a plan for the day of like, we're going to hit the rave tent, the Dave tent and the pop tent. Um, and we're going okay we made a plan for the day like we're gonna hit the rave tent the dave tent and the pop tent um and we're gonna do we're gonna do like 1 p.m for rave 2 p.m for dave and then we're gonna probably watch a couple episodes of dave there so then we're gonna hit the pop tent around like four did something happen with the festival's planning that didn't allow

that plan to happen no the plan was incredible like they made it so easy to find to go from one tent to the next they like the walkways were super clear the signage was super clear um and like we said the porta potties were kind of like spotless and amazing and and uh there were i'm sorry i don't understand i don't understand the problem well unfortunately it was the company i was in because i was so excited to go to the pop tent and it's just like he was so sweaty. He was so sweaty and complained about how hot he was the entire time.

It was hot and I run hot already. But what could I have done about that? I wasn't asking you to do anything. I was just explaining where I was at physically and that I could maybe use a break. And you were the problem. I was just explaining where I was at physically and that I could maybe use a break. And that was the problem. And you were the problem.

And that was the... And you were the problem. I was the problem. My ears get hot when I get upset and you were making me upset as well. I was just trying to get us to the tense on time. Why did we have to stick to a schedule? It's supposed to be fun.

It's supposed to be a vacation. Okay, and Sandy, and so this is like, if you're wondering, what does marriage look like? This is what marriage looks like. You have one who's type have one who's married and it isn't like this but yeah like what's that oh so i've been married for 15 years and it hasn't been like oh congratulations i mean i'm sure you've had your fair share of uh tiffs like this um actually never

i would never really talk to my spouse like you guys talk to each other sorry i didn't hear anything that just happened i i would love for this to all go in the dock unedited you didn't hear anything that just happened i was thinking about how funny dave was and i wanted to stay in the dave tent as well not only for the ac but also because i loved the tv i'm so sorry sandy so as you can tell rish was totally tuned out of this conversation which if you want a little insight into our marriage that's kind of how it is day to day for me is he just totally tunes out totally tunes out this is exactly my point um so yeah i mean again nothing but incredible things to say

about the festival it'll be the organizers were incredible they were incredible it was the best music festival i've ever been it was just fucking awful to be there exactly exactly and that's the one thing i feel like we can't agree on nope because there again there we go again there we go again yeah um do you have any more questions for us um yeah i guess um will you be going again next year? To the festival? Yes. Well, that's an interesting question. That's a really interesting question. My answer is yes, but it'll probably be not with Trish.

That was my answer as well. So you actually stole my answer because that's exactly what I was going to say. No, but I said it first. It was going to be Rish. So I would like to go again, but without being in in the company of rich because he soured the whole experience and made it horrible and um bad yeah i got a vasectomy and i didn't tell you and it was just because i couldn't risk having a kid with you by the way well i was gonna i was i was gonna get my my old tubes tied so glad that you beat

me to it again you just took my ideas right out of my head cut to the premiere of the documentary at sundance q a with some of the subjects all right and um director uh sandy i mean sandy warlock this was this was an unbelievable documentary. I think we all loved the history behind this and the way that you dived into it. The way you organized it was incredibly, it was really well edited. But let's open it up to Q&As from the audience, and we'll see what kind of questions we get. Oh, thanks so much. Yeah, you there.

Hi, I'm Laura, and um i'm an upcoming filmmaker and so my question is like you know when you do a documentary like this i'm so fascinated to see like what the lives of all the subjects are like you know after the filming is completed like what do you like do you follow up with them like specifically what to the best of your knowledge do you know what trish and rich are up to now like because their marriage seemed pretty volatile and so that was the most I mean of course the history about the festival was amazing but when you had subjects

like Trish and Rish it's like I think we all want to know everyone's nodding yeah yeah I think we all want to know we kind of put that in at the end credit scene exactly so it's all fresh on the brain for all of us it's like we were all really struck by that and I think that's a testament to your filmmaking of like you left not really though because 95 minutes about the history of the festival and how it went

and interviews with people who actually talked about their experience and then there was this like 30 second clip at the end about these two but my god how how rich those 30 seconds were everybody cracks up oh yeah i don't know um can we do a different question sorry to the interviewer everyone's like grumbling like oh i wanted to know i don't know what they're up to i haven't seen them since the day we interviewed them oh everyone's shocked whoa all right that's not yeah that shouldn't be surprising i just what is this yeah you hey um i'm jake um up and coming producer i don't know if you saw one of my shorts it was in it was in block three a couple nights ago it was in the middle so it's okay if you didn't see it it was kind of yeah i've been doing a lot of press because no no totally totally

totally totally totally and you know i'm just in block three for narrative shorts but no i had a great time with mine uh if anyone wants to see it it's called little Little Boy Blue. It's not going to be playing again at this festival. Yeah, let's get somebody else because he's just trying to do a shameless self-plug. Yes, you in the back. Hi, I'm Marsha. I've been working at the Sundance Institute since before you were born.

I bet, honey, since before you were born. I have to say, I know we kind of skipped over the Trish and Rish of it all. But what about those two people made you feel like, I gotta get to know them. I gotta put them in the movie. I gotta have them go down with the history of this, of this historic music festival. So that was actually my fear was that they would be linked at all to the history of this amazing, uh,

reprise really. And, um, so why did you keep them in? I put it in, in the end credits, like I said, as a goof and I really am regretting it.

And also this, you know, we'll see if we get distribution, but I'll definitely try and, uh, edit it out before we release it on DVD. Yes. Hi,

Ted Sarandos, Netflix. We are incredibly interested in acquiring this film. Oh my God, is this how it works? This is how it works. Well,

it's actually not normally, but it's how it works for you, man. It's how it works for you and for this masterpiece of a film you've got right here. I would love to work together, yes.

We would, we have a couple changes we'd like to make. I'm sure you have a lot of footage that you've either left would love to work together yes um we would we have a couple changes we'd like to make i'm sure you have a lot of footage that you've either left out or cutting room floor whatever we can cut it down we can add a little bit more we can change we would love to change a couple themes okay how many more hours of footage of trish and rich do you have available because we would love to kind of do a little pivot in terms of the subject and kind of focus on their story what's the new title you would pitch? It's called...

Is it even about the festival anymore is what I'm trying to get at. It is about their experience at the festival and how that relates back to their marriage. So it's called A Marriage Story, but it's going to be totally different from the one that's out right now. It's going to be totally different from that. All right. The one that's out right now?

That was three years ago. Well, I mean the one that's still available to stream and rent um i quit documentary filmmaking i think trish and rish walk in sorry we're late just came back from seeing uh little boy blue and i didn't want to see it in the black three shorts oh no way it sucked it sucked it really no oh yes yes no yes yes all right do you have a do you have one more review you could say that you could say that okay there were a lot of reviews that i had to i for this one it was the sorbis saucer swing with surf accessories no way it's this one, it was the Sorbus Saucer Swing with surf accessories. No way. It's this one swing set.

It has a normal swing, and then it has one that kind of looks, it's like oblong, and it looks like a trampoline, but it's not. It's like, it's a little swing that's flat, and you can kind of go on your stomach. Does that make sense? Do you get what I'm talking about?

So the biggest complaint that was in nigh on every review for this was that it easily flipped over when you're getting on and off it so people talking about how like my little girl like getting off the swing so many times like she fell straight on her stomach her lips turned purple like it's horrible the amount of people who are like my kids have been flipping on and off of the swing it's hard for adults to even get on or off without being scared. Oh my God. I'm looking at it. It's just nonstop of everyone being like, this is a death trap.

So this is a one star review. And this just got me, especially after reading all of those. It's one star from Tracy C. Tracy Sorbus. Tracy Sorbus. Tracy Sorbus with a C. Yeah, no relation. Tracy Sorbus, one star. The title is,

This Swing is Dangerous, dot, dot, dot. They may get a bill. And for me, it was just the first sentence. I'll read the whole thing. It's short, but it's just the first sentence. The company knew this thing flipped kids out, dot, dot, dot. And for me, it was just the first sentence. I'll read the whole thing. It's short, but it's just the first sentence. The company knew this thing flipped kids out. Dot, dot, dot.

I'm very upset. I spent so much on a swing I thought was safe. Dot, dot, dot. Do not buy this because it's a dangerous toy for kids. Dot, dot, dot. I spent more time cleaning off knees and heads than actual swinging. Dot, dot, dot. I do not like being duped. Dot, dot, dot. Plus, someone returned being duped. Dot, dot, dot.

Plus, someone returned the swing I got and they sent it to me. Messed up. Dot, dot, dot. And dangerous. Oh my god. Company knew this thing flipped kids out. Like, after all of that,

the company is just like... Well, yeah. I mean, it it's volatile but we're gonna send it out what it's christmas we can't afford to we can't afford to bring it back to the shop and do a whole bunch of changes on it what if the holiday season liza you hired me as the safety director so i wouldn't be doing my job if i didn't tell you. And Chris, you have been incredible at what you're doing. Right. Well, this is a death trap. This is the worst.

This is the most dangerous product you've ever tried to put out. I couldn't agree more. You and I are on the same page. You and I are on the exact same page. Then why are you selling it? Because it's, I'm sorry. I hate repeating myself because then it's like, I feel bad. Right.

But I'm saying, no, I'm saying if you can't afford to lose the sales, you're going to lose millions more in lawsuits. But that hasn't happened yet. So I'm kind of planning for the future. I'm not. I'm not planning for that. I'm planning for the future that I want, not for the future that I have. So, yes, we're going to keep sending the swing out. And, yes, it's going to hurt a lot of kids, maybe some adults if they get on.

But all press is good press. I don't think so. I really don't. Because it's like, once you lose your reputation for creating safe toys for children, mind you. For children, yeah. Parents lose faith in your company and will not buy anything from your company. Even the safe things. It's been my experience.

That's my job. Your experience? So you've dealt with things like this before? My experience being a safety director at toy companies for 18 years yeah but in your sorry just so like in your professional medical opinion like not medical would you like where would you rank our um it's the most dangerous toy i've ever seen okay okay so you. So you, yeah, so that was what I was going to ask. I don't, what I don't understand, I think, It's the most dangerous toy you've ever swing. Yeah.

I don't think all is lost. We have three days until Christmas Eve. I think that we can make some adjustments, and it's more, you know, subtractive adjustments, because, like, the whole, this thing looks like it was made to flip kids out. I i mean there's literally

a mechanism that tosses them off after 15 minutes like it's like a sauna timer of some kind i don't really understand well no you get it it is like a sauna timer that that was actually part of the design is we were like how can we make this swing like a sauna timer and so that was it um ingenuity swings have been around for i mean they're as old as time. They're around with the dinosaurs, right? So it's like, how can we- They were not. They were not around with the dinosaurs.

How can we make the new swing? How can we make the new thing that swings, you know? Yeah. Are you drunk? It's the holidays. It's the holidays. It's the Monday before Christmas, but yeah. Let's the holidays. It's the Monday before Christmas, but yeah. Let's do this.

Let's just take the mechanism that flips the swing over every 15 minutes off the product, and I think we'll be good to go. Why don't you sit down for a second? I know you've been standing by the door this whole time, and it's made me really unsettled. Just sit down for a second so we can... All right, sit. And I hate to do this because you have actually been such an incredible asset to the team. Are you kidding me with what you're about to do?

I press a button. The chair ejects you out of a spy car. And I press a button it's a it's a two-way mirror that like it unfogs and so that we were testing this is our new line of eject seating that we are going to put into the swings for the 2022 round um so what did we all think yeah um board member charlie why don't we just separately make ejects seats because that feels like it could be useful to a different demographic i don't think the same people want this is crazy swings that eject no one no one wants things that eject why do people keep reinventing cars do you have kids why are you the ceo why do people keep reinventing anything it's like we don't want to keep selling the same stuff over and over again efficiency ingenuity fun that's why we do what we do here at fisher price okay

i don't have kids there's no world in which i would ever want those snotty little buggers never ever ever ever ever ew ew get them away from me. I don't even like looking at them. I don't even like thinking about them. The thought of them makes me want to rip my skin off of my body. You want to do violent things to kids? I don't want to do violent things to kids. I just don't even want to think about them. Okay. Do you have kids?

You don't want to think about their safety. I don't want, you're not hearing me. I don't want to think about them at all. It's your job to think about them. Yeah, okay, well we're going to frost the glass and then the rest of this board meeting is going to be about whether at all it's your job to think yeah okay well we're gonna frost the glass and then the rest of this board meeting is going to be about whether or not we need to replace our ceo frost it the whole time they're talking i could just see her bang against the glass i know you can see me i know you're listening to me i literally can't hear you though

it's just like a frosty shadow. So obviously we need to replace her. So obviously she needs to go. No, that was ill-conceived of as the CEO. I mean, it's like, well, I know that she's the heir to the Fisher-Price throne and fortune. But I think it's just for the safety of kids across the nation that she needs to go for sure. Yeah. And it's nice that we're kind of all the head on show collectively yeah collectively i mean well it's like i think we know clearly who's the leader but it's nice that we all have a certain amount of power that we can share well there's

definitely two leaders and probably mainly one and then there's like the rest of people who just kind of show up for the cash yeah you're right like i said there's two leaders in any one yes it's like there's definitely the one there's only the one there's def and i'm glad you say that thank you for that for appointing me rish i wasn't talking about you this shook me all week long I guarantee something else will have shaken me by January 4th certainly

we've done 3 episodes in the past 4 days so there isn't much that could have happened I have been watching a TV show that I haven't watched since college and I'm not normally like a reality TV. I like a reality competition show.

I'm not really one just like watching a reality show. That's just kind of like following the lives of people. Yeah. That being said, I'm binging the shit out of below deck on Bravo. Below deck is good. Below deck is a masterpiece it's phenomenal it's everything you'd want in just a fluff nothing show um it is crazy like so my mom's

friends have been watching it my mom's like have you ever heard of the show i'm like i watched that shit in college when i couldn't sleep and so hell yeah and so she's like do you want to watch it i'm like sure never in a million years and everything my mom and i would sit down for some quality time to watch below deck yeah but here we are and now i'm fully catching up on this season and there's something about it i mean it's the same it's the same it's like they have the same formula of like in one episode it'll be like okay we're prepping for our next charter for our next guest and then each charter is three days so it's like one episode you get the prep and you get the first day and half of

the second day of a charter the next step you get the latter half of the second day and the final day and then that night is the free night everyone goes out and gets drunk and there's drama and then it's just that cycle repeating itself and everybody's so good oh my god but it's amazing it's like because you know it's like okay all the crew is going to be like no crew romances this season and then when they get drunk on their one night off they all kiss and and just grab each other and get plastered and then the next day they're all like oh my god this is so crazy how are we going to do the rest of the charter and it just repeats itself there's nothing that is shocking to me or surprising but my god I can't

stop I love that I should watch I've seen a couple episodes here and there with George I need to watch the whole thing through it's just nothing that was a little mario kart i truly have nothing nothing's changed in my life in either direction have you watched sing yet i've seen sing oh you should watch it again this is a stupid one but my hair is finally shoulder length. Like, I would finally consider it long instead of just medium.

It's been long. No, but, like, now it's, like, long, long. Especially watch, it looks weird with these headphones on. It looks, it's separated. But watching, like, the Get Back documentary, I'm like, that's long. John Lennon's hair is long. I need to show you with the headphones on and the way it's parting your hair. It's kind of giving me a side part and not a great way.

This is what your hair looks like, except yours is a little bit longer. You're giving me Lord Farquaad vibes right now. All right. That's the least, the most of my worries is looking like Farquaad. That's the most of your worries? Yeah. That's good. That sucks.

No, it's just the way it's parting it with the headphones is very funny. It looks very good. No, I love it. I love it, but I am getting sick of it. You just said it's finally at shoulder length. I thought it was going to be like, this is the length I've been trying to get it out to it is it's the beginning of the length that i've been

trying to get out to i actually want to get it down to like here jeff is pointing to like between his collarbone and his nip right now yeah chest length chest length the the question is will i will i have to cut it for a job before then? I think you should also trim it though. Like when you trim it, it makes it healthier and makes it grow faster. Okay. Okay. It's hard. Cause I want to see Christina at bang,

bang LA, my barber, my, my goddess. And, um, give yourself a little trim at home. Is that fine to do?

I mean, I did it with my hair last year, and I did it twice. Because the first time, I'm like, oh, this actually looks really good. And I gave myself layers at home. I cleaned up my layers. And then the second time, I actually wanted a little bit shorter, and that's when I fucked it up. So just take it slow and steady. I don't trust myself with cutting hair.

Should we think some VI podcasts? Yeah. Cutting hair. Should we thank some VI podcasts? Yeah. Cutting hair. Ah. Big thank you to Christian Sidehugs for Chastity. Aaron. Agent Michael Santa got a lame Secret Santa gift at work and is now planning to sew discord

amongst his co-workers in retaliation aggie a co is going down a really dark path now it's troubling but hot text but tread lightly alex wit and now patron he needs no introduction so moving on austin not like texas tv aka buttfart on Instagram and if RyRy and Jeff don't wish me a happy birthday what was the point of it all happy birthday new patron yeah new patron Barry McCockner

Bob Buell is the December birthday boy a boy for the ages as he has aged assuming this is being read after December 28th well this is being read after December 28th. Well, this will come out post-December 28th, so happy birthday, Bob! Yeah, happy birthday, Bob. Brad Donaldson. Brad Hilde.

Brian Dodd. Cameron Thompson. New patron. Chuck. Colin. Daniel Danny Phantom Clough. DTZ, that's Down Dazardi. And Daddy's looking to get sick and nasty tonight. Dustin Kaufman.

So it's Dustin Hoffman, but he's got a tickle in his throat. Fancy Octopus. For lack of a better beef, corned. Freya. New patron. Frito Pray Love. Gabriel Castaneda. Good morning and look at the valedictorian.

Scared of the future while I hop on the DeLorean. Nice. Grey Pure Powerhouse, the Christmas ninja. Now that's something. Gregberg six and a half blood prince. Hey Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum podcast, please? Holly. I literally only subscribe to Force, Jeff and Riley to say trans rights, XOXO.

Jackson Hansel. In a very real sense tr jacks sorry so there's two okay yeah okay so this is the latest one jackson hansel meow plus ratio plus l plus double ratio plus silly kitty cat plus you fell off ratio no way jake olman jameson pontius first happy memory post-Riley being a lemon was Jeff saying, my dick would do in my cameo video. Jay. Jesse Tipton.

Jive Gosley. Josh Jeffrey James Pike. JP again. Tazardi or not Tazardi? Is that even a question? Caleb is pondering whether the luster is just a social construct used to enforce the patriarchy. Casper, new patron. Keep the Christ in Christ.

Keep the Christ in Christ, Finnegan. My Catholic family would hate this joke. Lauren Mullane. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Maggie. Malik. Mark Priest. Marshall Mathers got a sex change.

Now he's feminine. Michael Rowland. Michael Begle. Mo Pete. Or sorry, Mo calling in from work because two actors called my miles bit funny. Pete. Mona Moore Raquel got a thigh tattoo and applied for legal fortune. She's unhinged and on, well, hints.

Mushu Lasagna knows what Jeff did and is going to tell the world. My hoodie has finally arrived. I can forgo my plans to kidnap Jeff and chain him in my basement. Nate Porteous got boosted boosted. That's when you get a shot of Moderna while in a high chair. Nolan Murphy wishes everyone a happy new year, but his family told him to, quote,

happily steer clear of them in 2022. So not even for the holidays, like the entire next year? Yeah, just the entire year. Oh, I want to dance with somebody. Arrivederci with somebody. Orangey glad it isn't Hallie. Phoebe. Kwok.

Riley Puff. Oh my god. That's so funny. It's not even Isaac's real name. I know. Riley Posh. Sarah Kilduff. Sarasm Tevicted Tyfer. Slick Ricky is happy and healthy in Sydney. Love you guys. Sarah Kilduff. Sarazm

Tevicted Tyfer. Slick Ricky is happy and healthy in Sydney. Love you guys. So let me get this straight. I pay $30 a month and you say whatever I want? Now that's interesting. That girl is joysome.

The early bird gets the firm. That bird is on his grind and he will land the account. TJ Michael. Whittle Wevin Mark Wemler. www.jeffreyjames.com was taken.com was taken.com Yaro Bouchard.

Yasmin David. And you won't even say my full name and it makes me sad of myself so I'm thinking of ending it Patreon account or otherwise. Oh you guys that was a good week. That was a good week of them. Happy New Year everybody.

Stick to those New Year's resolutions or don't. But I think that everyone's New Year's resolution should be to follow Riley Anspa on Instagram at Riley Anspa on Twitter at Riley Coyote and the show on Instagram at Review Review on Reddit r slash Review Review. And also you should include in that following Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey the show on Instagram at Review Review on Reddit r slash Review Review.

And also you should include in that following Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James and on Twitter at Don't Play No James. No. Oh my god. I haven't said that in so long. What? At Twitter at Jeff Boyardee. Jesus. And we'll see you guys again next week. Have you been here?

That was a Hiddem Original.