Review Revue - Tents

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

Reilly and Geoff discuss outdoor gear, anti-drug campaigns, and Geoff's wagon ass.Want more from Reilly and Geoff? Check out The Headgum Podcast, wherever fine podcasts are downloaded!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @dontplaynojamesAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Get that Angel Reef special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? At participating restaurants for a limited time. That was really good.

Riley, we are changed humans. We are changed humans between the last time we recorded and now. How? Ryan Gall. We got the Gall. Gall has the Gall. We have been making jokes about his name for what? Three years?

Two years? Sorry. Jeff has been making jokes about his name for years. Sort of parodying his name for what? Three years? Two years? Sorry, Jeff has been making jokes about his name for years. We have been sort of parodying his name. So Jeff alone has been parodying Ryan Gall's name. Puns because it rhymes with a lot of fun's words. Gall rhymes with all.

It rhymes with stall. It rhymes with Saul. It rhymes with drawl. And pun does not rhyme with words. Okay. I was just wondering. Yeah, it was like a shot in the dark. We got Gall. We're gonna drawl. And pun does not rhyme with words. Okay. I was just wondering. Yeah, it was like a shot in the dark. We got gall. We're gonna get gall. Honestly, we didn't get gall. You guys got gall. And we thank you for that,

but I also kind of feel bad for this poor man who was just like replying to a tweet and then with like all of these hashtags. Like, he's probably just like, yeah, oh my god. I should not have replied to that stupid tweet he absolutely regrets it and maybe he won't do the show but he agreed to it publicly so we shall see we follow each other on twitter now so we do yeah yeah um i get the feeling that

huh what were you gonna say oh nothing it doesn't matter come on you get the feeling that what i got the feeling that he kind of i I don't know, prefers you. And that's fine. It's just like, I don't know what it is about me that rubs people the wrong way. I keep saying this because people keep like bullying me online. This is also the first episode we've recorded since people have brought up my old commenting history as a Twinsman. Oh my God. Come back when you have 1,200 followers, okay?

I was so sensitive and lonely. You were such a little shit. It's like, of course that comes from a place of pain. But it's so, yeah. Talk to me when you have 1,200 followers. Okay? You want to know the saddest part? Of course.

I bought the followers. No, you didn't. You can buy 1,000 YouTube subscribers on eBay for $10. And so I made up this business plan, this five-year plan to buy the first 1,000. And then I was like, and then the YouTube algorithm will sort of be my friend in a way. And I'll become a YouTube partner and start making hundreds of dollars. Oh, Jeffrey. Ask me how many dollars I made on YouTube.

You made zero dollars on YouTube. Zero dollars, that's exactly right. Absolutely, you made zero dollars on YouTube. Oh, you were breaking sugar glass, making no money. A good icebreaker slash when you start, like a first date question, right? Is like, when was the last time, or like, what's a time when you were most embarrassed? Right?

You okay? Hair in my mouth. You had a hairball. But that's a good, like, question, right? Like, conversation starter, when was you most embarrassed? And I never have an answer for it. Because, like... Now you do.

I didn't have a lot of shame growing up. Now I have it. Now you have the shame. 22 years young. You're finally caught up with you. And it's caught up to me. It's finally caught up. Jeff, you're to say you're finally caught up with you. 22 years young, and it's caught up to me. It's finally caught up. Jeff, you're wearing a shirt that is, I don't know what to say.

Describe it. It is a long sleeve, purple. Is it a crew neck or a t-shirt? It's a shirt. It's a crew neck? It's a shirt. Oh, it's a shirt. It's a long sleeve shirt with an outline.

And we'll post this, probably like a screen recording or a screenshot of this shirt. And it says, oh my God. The back says, I got a big shirt, John Mayer tour. Oh, it's from John Mayer. The front is a cartoon of a kid wearing a giant shirt that says big shirt. And you just see the eyes popping out over the neck. And as soon as I got on the Zoom, Jeff just kind of held it up like, hmm. Well, it was from Mayer's fall tour last year,

and I didn't actually get this shirt at the show. I got a different shirt, and i regretted it and uh for the longest time and these were sold out and then they re-upped on them silently and so i found it i found the link i saw that they had it for sale copped it these run two sizes too big why didn't you get that shirt like what shirt did you get i got like a a white t short sleeve because i thought i'd be it'd be more wearable. And it was so cheaply made. It's just not fun.

It's not a big shirt. I want a shirt that says why. Well, you don't need the shirt for that. You don't need the shirt for that. You don't need like a statement piece for someone to look at you and go, why? So we were talking about fashion. No, but if we could just, before we move on, like, that was a joke, right? Because if it was real and, like, that's how you feel about me. It is.

So we've moved on from that topic, and we're talking about the next thing that's not people looking at you like, seriously? But people don't do that, right? Like, you don't notice. Like, did that come from a place of you, like, noticing people? I can't read people's thoughts. But facial expressions? But facial expressions? But I can hear their words when they look at you and out loud go why okay like they don't hold it in because

i thought that was the breeze i thought that was no it's like a gut instinct people it's like they don't even think about they're like oh why oh shit that wasn't a ghost because i hear it i just kind of just well i'm sure you hear ghosts too but sure yeah well demons i have my demons obviously so those weren't them but you do have them. They're different. I do. And I have the shirt. So this morning, we, Daniel's parents, Daniel's brother, Daniel, and I. We should say you're in Evanston.

Oh, I am in Evanston, Illinois now on our little road trip. So we're going to be here for like a week. And we all got tested. We're all negative. We got tested before. We all got tested we're all negative we got tested before we all got tested before we met up and so we are all negative which is very very lovely so we can hang with no fears and have beers and so this morning we got up and we went to um lighthouse beach at northwestern this little

beach on lake michigan and it's like a 20 minute bike ride. And it's such a great neighborhood to ride bikes around. But growing up in LA, like where it's a highways galore. I like I know how to ride a bike, but like I didn't grow up riding bikes around everywhere. So you don't know how to ride a bike? I do know how to ride a bike. And like going to school at BU, like a lot of people going to college on big campuses would ride bikes everywhere but because my campus was a city we either walked a couple blocks or like took a train so like i know how to ride a bike but i haven't done it enough to like be like really confident riding on city streets okay so yesterday when daniel's mom was just like hey you want to come on the bike ride

tomorrow morning get up early get to the beach before too many people are there it's gonna be great i'm like yeah i pulled daniel aside i'm like hey daniel i i know how to write first of all i know how to ride a bike so that's not why i'm nervous i've never ridden a bike like around like cars or anything and he's like have you wait he's like so where have you ridden a bike have you just ridden a bike like in a field what are you talking about then i'm like no like i've ridden on like different pathways and stuff but there was like barely anyone around i had a lot of space and he's like you're gonna be fine and so their neighbor let us borrow two of her bikes from her garage, which is really, really nice. So every one of the Rashids, they all had their bikes.

And I got to borrow this nice cruiser from the neighbor. It was very, very kind to let us borrow it. But the cruiser had a little screw loose in the front. And so you have this beautiful athletic family cruising down the street, the four loose in the front. And so like you have this like beautiful athletic family cruising down the streets, the four of them in front. And old Anne's spot is like not only trying to like not freak out whenever a car comes or like, because I don't even have the proper balance

to like hold my hand out to signal a turn. So you can't ride a bike. No, I can ride a bike the proper balance to like hold my hand out to signal a turn. So you can't ride a bike. No, I can ride a bike. But I was like, I didn't want to. Because also every time you've brought the, like three times now you've had to defensively preface the story. But I can't. And I know how to ride a bike. And I know how to ride a bike.

But I wrote a whole thing. I promise you I know how to ride a bike. I was saying that wasn't the issue. But it's like I don't have the confidence level of it, like in the experience. And so when we left the house like a couple minutes in daniel's dad like could hear like my bike was just screech and daniel's dad's looking back and he's like are you okay and i'm like yeah i'm fine the screw finally pops off it's happening you go into lake michigan and he's like the front looks a little wobbly.

I'm like, and it is. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. And so we, and like every five minutes, Daniel is very kind. He's like, if you want to switch bikes with me, you totally can. Yeah, why weren't you given like the best bike if you're the least skilled? Or at least.

No, because it, no one knew. Like it's a, it's a beautiful cruiser. No one knew that just one of the screws was out. Oh, got it. And I also didn't make it public that I'm not a super confident cyclist. Right. And so. Did you see the photo of Amir riding the bike?

Of course. Daniel saw it and he goes, it looks like it's the first time Amir's ridden a bike. He famously doesn't really know how to ride a bike. Well, Amir and I should go biking together because I'm... You should go on Buckets, but it's a special cycling episode and it's Bike-its. Bike-its. So it was very... I was like...

I mean, this is a visual thing, but I was like... Wobbling. A little wobbly. And so by the time we get to the beach Daniel's like how was it I'm like it was such a beautiful like the neighborhood is beautiful I you know I've only been to Chicago in winter and fall like once since never Evanston in the summer um and so I'm like it was just stunning and Daniel's like were you okay on the bike I'm like oh yeah it's just just a little squeaky little wobbly he's like yeah I saw you kind of like

really wobbling I'm like oh no it's. No, it was just a slight wobble. It wasn't noticeable. And you didn't see it. And you didn't see it. And I'm amazing. And he's like, trade bikes with me on the way home so you can actually enjoy the ride. Cut to you doing a wheelie. It's a unicycle.

It would not surprise me if you were a better unicycler than a bicyclist because you're like, you had to take clowning in college and you famously love clowning. So we're riding back and, and the bike, we, we all kind of shuffled around. So I rode the bike that Daniel's dad rode and then Daniel's dad rode Daniel's bike. And so Daniel took the cruiser. And so I was like, wow, like I could feel the difference. I'm like, wow, this bike handles a lot better. Like I'm having a much better time. And Daniel was riding the cruiser and like, and I was trying, I was really hoping that

I'm like, I really hope that it wasn't just me who was wobbling that it was kind of the bike. And so Daniel's just cruising around the street. I'm like, how's the, how's it going? A little, how's it, how's old squeaky doing? Is it wobbling? Not squeaky. It's not cruising around the street. I'm like, how's it going? How's old Squeaky doing? Not Squeaky. It's not Squeaky at all. It's actually a really smooth ride.

That's exactly what it was. He's like, it's actually great. I'm like, hmm, hmm, hmm, okay. And he's like, so the screw is a little loose, but it's actually awesome. I'm like, interesting. For most people, myself included, I feel like cruisers are the smoothest ride because you kind of have that wide, flat seat for the wagon. So for someone like myself, who's like a little thick boy, has that fat ass, that kind of that absolute dump truck.

Don't say who's a little thick boy. It's better for it to kind of rest on the cruiser beach or otherwise, rather than like a Trek mountain bike, because that's going to be basically an insertable object. So, yeah. So that was that was the experience. And it was a beautiful ride. And I was very I was I was a brave little toaster. Nice. That's actually really good.

Brave little toaster. That's. Have you ever seen the brave little toaster? Hell yeah, actually. Seen it? What do you mean? The movie, the brave little Toaster. Have you ever seen the Brave Little Toaster? Hell yeah, actually. Seen it? What do you mean? The movie, The Brave Little Toaster? What you did was you kind of made an object, inanimate or otherwise, this brave...

Inanimate, not otherwise. You personified it. Of course it's not otherwise. You really did. It's brave. I need you to know... Because a toaster is kind of a coward. That's kind of what we can all agree on, right?

No, but I need you to know that you said... And that's what you're saying is that you couldn't ride the bike. You said inanimate or otherwise. But then you were saying assigning courage to the toaster, to the oven? You're imagining that the toaster could not be inanimate. It's amazing how

this is why you're a writer. This is absolutely why you're a writer, because you can kind of come up with these little earworms. You know what I mean? We're talking about tents today. We're talking about tents today we're talking about tents we're not we're not talking we're not talking about little brave little toasters which are fucking inanimate they're toasters we're not talking about that we're talking. Don't look sad. Oh, little baby thick boy. It's a little sad boy.

Now, you're going to put on a happy face. And I'm going to ride a unicycle around you until you smile. I'm not going to smile. You're not going to get me this time. He starts vibing. So we're talking about tents. Famously used for camping. Do you have any camping myths?

Myths? Yeah. So like a harrowing tale, a cautionary tale, kind of a legend in a way. Anything come to mind? A legend about camping. In your life or not.

In my life. Because there's actually this movie 127 Hours and it didn't happen to me but it's a cautionary tale. For me it's like yes don't get your arm stuck in two rocks and uh it's for everyone that's right it's not just what you took away it's personal to me i felt like it was made for me in a way why it was a love letter back to me because i kind of wrote this little essay really about how i love cinema and rock climbing

suddenly franco's on the silver screen and he's kind of showing me, hey, don't get ahead of yourself, Jimmy. Sorry. One, your name's not Jimmy. Two, I can't expect Franco to know my first name. 127 hours is a love letter to you?

I felt like it was, sure. And then everyone else got to reap the benefits of that love letter um i have i am not an avid camper but i would like to be okay i can't remember the last time i went camping but i would like i would like to be that but i don't i don't like bugs and i don't like dirt so glamp you should go glamp oh i love glamping but i i want to be i want to like be the girl who's like not even the girl i just want to be that person who's just like yeah packed up the car and just went to yosemite for the weekend god got up with the sun like oh my god made some amazing granola had some coffee with a fire it was incredible um took a

hike went back to the tent like but for me it's not that easy because of um you know how i was on the bike that's how i am in a camping situation wobbly yeah even when you're just like relaxing by a fire you can't stop shaking i'm always off balance i'm kilter i have vertigo in campsites we should say before we really get into it that this idea comes from Reddit user Arong914, which is probably Aaron G914, but I like the idea of it being Arong. He sent in a list of probably 100 episode ideas, most of which were making us laugh out loud. So thank you to Arong. They made us laugh really hard. No, I totally feel you on that. out loud. So thank you to Aaron. They made us laugh really hard.

No, I totally feel you on that. I've been camping twice with my family. I think it depends on if you grew up camping or not. Like I went twice when I was camping or twice camping when I was growing up. And the second time I went fly fishing with my dad and got frostbite in my hands because it was like March and we should not have been fly fishing. And then neither of us knew what to do with frostbite. So he's like, here, just get in the car and like put blast hot air on your hands oh my god which is the worst thing that you can do i found out later i don't know what to do with frostbite

no if you do that it's like shocking to the nerve endings so you can lose your hands i could have been had to have them amputated um so you but i think the thing is yeah you really need to know what you're doing so if we go camping we should go with someone who goes camping a lot. Daniel camps frequently. Daniel's an avid camper. Then we should go with Daniel. And then that's when I can kind of eat his ass. No.

My God. We'll get a double and then we'll get a single tent. And then you'll be in the single by the end of the night, obviously. You didn't even like slowly approach it. It was really, we'll go camping with Daniel so then I can eat his ass. By the end of the night, obviously. You didn't even, like, slowly approach it. It was really, well, go camping with Daniel so that I can eat his ass. And we can bring other people, but, like, they're going to kind of be, like, sidelined. The main event is me rimming your fiancé.

We're not engaged. I'll be engaged in analingus. Oh, my God. We should take a break on that yeah we should go and when we come back uh we'll hit you with a couple circus reviews no tense tense right sorry um before we take a break uh just want to shout out like marty i hope you're doing well we haven't talked in a bit and like i just want to make sure you're not like mad at me or like if I did anything wrong like you can just like you have my number. You can just text me. Yeah the floor is open

Marty for like any because we always we have this platform to complain about you but you don't have anything to complain about so just you know hit us direct. If you're mad at me just tell me and we can work it out. Why do you think he's mad at you though? Because he hasn't been texting me. Have you ever had a texting relationship with Marty? Like a couple times. Be honest, though.

A couple times. Mostly about, like, TV and stuff. I just want to make sure we have something, like, outside of that. Why don't you, in the break, text Marty, and then we'll see if he responds during the episode. Fine. We'll be right back. The moment you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction,

a real big spender. I guess we're back, and that's what's going to bring us back into the show. Big spender. Big tenter. Riley, why don't you start us off? Big trenter. Meaning?

So it's like Trent, Trenter, and he's getting big because football season's coming up, and he wants to be on varsity this year. And does he make it? Mm-mm. He gets JV, though. So he gets a little overweight and junior varsity this year. And does he make it? Mm-mm. He gets JV, though. So he gets a little overweight and junior varsity. Yeah. Okay.

This is a review for the Core 9-person Extended Dome Tent, 16x9. Jesus Christ. Okay. This is, it's one star from Cassie T. I mean, tent. Obviously, Cassie T. I mean, tent. Obviously, Cassie Tent. Cassie Tent. Cinnamon McMiniman.

Cassie Tent. Real person's name. Insane. Cassie Tent. One star from August. Oh, this was six days ago. From August 2nd 2020 um yeah camping safe the title is if it rains you will get wet not water resistant if you're ever going to be camping

and there is the slightest possibility of rain this is not the tent to bring my wife and i purchased this tent to go camping with our family. Around midnight, a rain shower came through and led myself to having to pack everything in the tent up and load it back into my truck while it rained on me. This tent was assembled perfectly along with the cover. Rain began pouring through the roof onto us and our dog while we were trying to sleep. It was a horrible experience with this tent, while two other families that we were camping with were able to stay nice and dry in theirs. Again, if there is any chance of rain, do not use this tent.

You will end up wet with a ton of bug bites while loading your vehicle back up. Everybody having morning coffee? I had the best sleep I had in months, guys. I mean, this is such a good idea to get out of the city. Lydia, how was your guys' experience? We heard some tent ruffling. Were you guys sort of getting a little hot and bothered? Nature calls.

Hot and bothered. More like cold and wet, Stacey. Well, it was a little cold, but we don't want to know the explicit details. Our tent was leaking with the rain. I don't mean to be a downer on the day. I know we have a really fun day planned. But I actually, like,

I'm really frustrated. I'm really frustrated. I don't mean to be taking it out on you. You had nothing to do with it, right? You didn't do anything about it. So, yeah, you know, it's uh i'll get a better tent next time and um you know won't have to pack up the car with everything uh like three in the morning when it's raining i'm so sorry to hear that lydia look i mean we all yeah we all are look we'll we'll cheer you up all right let's go on a hike today it'll be nice and warm and dry but But it's such a bummer, though.

And I shouldn't even probably mention this because it'll be frustrating to you. But we almost got the six person tent. We went with the four person because it was like $20. No, like $9 less. And we just thought no one's going to need extra dry space. Damn, that's such a bummer. We would have had extra room for you guys. Anyways, let's go on this hike.

Maybe if we want to split the, what is it, $9 extra cost for that extra space, we could get that tent so that next time we all go out, you know. I can't keep this up, guys. We barely wanted to invite you guys. Wait, whoa, whoa. We barely wanted to invite you guys. Where did this come from? Whoa, Stacy.

It rained on you and now you're raining on our parade. We invited you because we're all work colleagues. And if word would get around to you very fast that we didn't invite you on this camping trip. We're all working from home. We thought it'd be fun to hang out with our real work friends. I'm sorry. I just, it's very frustrating because we're all having the best time and you're coming in here you're kind of being a downer

you asked you asked how we slept and I'm listen I'm sorry if I was bringing down the day I was just being honest I got like an hour of sleep the dog was barking and wet it smelled awful yeah the dog was barking we all heard the dog barking and it kind of again almost interrupted our sleep we were just so dry

that it was hard not to fall asleep so comfortably. So it actually, so nothing that happened interfered with you at all. So it almost interrupted your sleep, but you were so dry that it didn't matter. It was so comfortable. I'm sorry. It was so comfortable. We had an inflatable mattress in there. It was better than our normal bed.

What I'm saying to you is that we're enjoying our morning coffee. I made coffee for everyone, including you guys. Can you guys just kind of like, can you act like I act like in my marriage and just kind of like swallow your pride and just kind of not just bury it down until it builds into resentment that pours out of the, out of your mouth in a fight? Listen, I'm sorry for kind of raining on, on the morning as it were. Um, but you you asked and um i just can i be honest since we're kind of airing grievances before the day can i just can i give you a little feedback a little constructive criticism i'm always open to it i don't see what you could you tend to ask people things and then when they're honest with you you get mad at them because it's brought you

down somehow cut to the office hey um lydia how's your day going and i'm it's not one of those things where it's like just say you're good when you're not because i mean we heard you guys we heard you crying um what's really going on open up to me my uncle passed away this morning um so it's just that's been really that's just been like really really hard boundaries it's really unfortunate boundaries hard. Boundaries. I know, it's really unfortunate. Boundaries. This is work, Lydia. What are you, you just asked me, psychopath.

You saw me crying. Hey guys. So thank you guys for joining this optional meeting. You know, with everything that's going on in the world, I know this is our first week back after the pandemic. I just wanted everybody to kind of share, share where you're at emotionally. And because I just think it's important for us all to talk. Thank you for

being so raw, Stacey. You're really an inspiration. Thank you for bringing this together. Of course, Peter. Of course. Lydia, let's start with you. Yeah, I'll start. Man, well, first of all, it's really good to see you guys. You guys really uh are like a like a family time and time time's up uh we got to move on because we only have an hour for this meeting there's 18 people here i didn't even start on you said you said the tone that you started the sentence with sounded like it was gonna be a long walk to get there and we don't have time for that and also let's keep it surface level can we all agree to keep a surface level yeah we can all agree to keep it what the what the fuck is wrong with you, Lydia?

We were just, we were going to say like, oh, what snacks did you eat while you were quarantined? What? No, that's not. She said, she, no. She said, you know, talk about your experience. I know it's been hard. I was going to talk about, you know, being a mom to three kids under four. Head to my wedding and we will now recite the vows.

I'm on the verge of tears honey let it out let it out since the day we met it's been a relationship oh you can keep going and you're getting a little choked up everyone laughs that's my girl that's my he's funny he's funny your vows what about your vows oh the crowd roars. Oh, Stacey, you dog. I know, I can't even look at it without laughing. But no, I'm done. I'm done. That's it. Your wedding vows since the

day we met. It's been a relationship. Actually, we've just spent a lot of time together. I don't know if I would be down to define the relationship just yet. Sorry, Stacey, do you not want to get married? No, I do. Why would I be on this altar if I didn't want to get married? Of course I want to get married.

You just said you don't want to find the relationship just yet. I just don't want things to get too close to our chest. Right. Intimate. Well, this has been a five year long stand stand so you don't want to like commit our lives to each other i would like to be i would like to spend time with you for the rest of our lives but i don't want you to know my secrets or issues well then well i'm crumpling my vows yeah yeah okay well then uh let's just we can skip skip mine. We can go ahead if that's how you really feel. Are you kidding me?

She runs out of the church. What? What on my wedding day? What? The priest is like, you could have said one sentence, man. This is on you. I don't. What are the rules?

I don't understand. Jeffrey, your review, please. Five stars from Shan. Shan. No last name. Okay. Just Shan. Just Shan.

Short for Shannon? No. Got it. At the hospital. There she is. Shan. Shan James? I thought we agreed on

Sophia. Just Shan. Oh my God. Five stars. Perfect for me and my dog. I'm not a know-it-all camper or anything like that. I just like to go a few times every summer and get away with my dog. This tent is perfect. I live in Oregon, so

you can never be 100% certain when it will rain. Ever since I woke up in a puddle in an old tent, I made sure to only buy tents with this bathtub design. I just got this tent and set it up by myself in my living room, and it took probably less than 10 minutes. There was definitely room enough for two people. However, whoever sleeps on the inside of the tent next to the window will definitely struggle to get out of the tent without waking slash bothering the other person. This is an awesome tent though, and I will definitely struggle to get out of the tent without waking slash bothering the other person this is an awesome tent though and i can't wait to wait to try it soon i like the idea that when she says my dog it's not her animal dog it's like

a co-worker who she thinks is her best friend but isn't actually my dog yeah how was your weekend it was really really nice actually actually just kind of stayed home and and watched tv which made me feel a little lazy but it was really nice also you don't have to keep calling me your dog why not we're dogs we're dogs yeah we're like we're gullies a little bit um because you're my best friend at work is all's sometimes like, you know, it can be rough. Some of the other co-workers kind of box me out of their conversations. They kind of keep me out of the loop. No, no, no, totally.

I hear you. That's really... You can call me your dog. So we're dogs. You can call me your dog. Okay, perfect, perfect, perfect. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Are you doing anything...

Do you have any plans next weekend? I am going to my cousin's wedding. Okay. Weekend after? I am... I think I'm going to visit my parents. Okay, weekend after that? I don't know.

I don't know that far ahead. Because I was actually, I was already planning on going camping three weeks from now, three weekends from now. Wondering if you wanted to come, maybe? Oh, sure. Go to a camping trip.

Look at us. Just two dogs, two sisters from another mister. I really needed this. I know you did. And I don't mean to nitpick. It's just because you've... This is probably like the tenth time in the past hour that you've said,

we're just dogs. I take out a Yoo-Hoo. I pour half of it out and start pouring Baileys into the rest of it. Jesus Christ. Here. No, I'm good. You sure? It gets you a little hyphy.

You know what? How about hyphy? What's hyphy? Hyphy, like hyped up and like silly a little bit. So drunk? Yeah. It's because the. You know.

What? Nina. Nina, I know everyone's kind of like made fun of you because you are the youngest person in the office yeah but only by like a few only by like a decade so you keep telling everyone that you're 25 but uh you know and the only

reason I'm bringing this up is because you said that Bailey's makes you a little silly and a little hyped up that plus your braces which you kept calling them adult braces, but the bands tell me otherwise. You're using all this lingo that, like, I don't really know. I gotta ask, and I know this is gonna sound crazy,

so please don't take offense to this. I won't, I won't. I'm an iron, I'm a rock. I am an iron wall, impenetrable, because I'm mature. Are you 16 years old? Okay. All right. Okay.

Nina. Nina, what's going on? Can we just talk like dog to dog? Yeah, I guess. Is that like a TikTok thing? Have you ever seen a series of unfortunate events? The movie based on the books? Yeah.

I've read the books. I think I was a little old for the movie. So close to what my home life is like. I live in a lighthouse, I think. You think? I don't know the books. I haven't read them. But every time I bring people over, they're like, oh, this is like Lemony Snicket style.

They call your life Lemony Snicket style? Everyone at the office wears like business casual jeans and chinos. And I'm over here with what can only be described as trousers. I'm in pantaloons at the office. I know, Nina. And that's why you've always struck me as a little odd. And I like you. You're a nice girl. But I couldn't help...

Are you familiar with Montessori education? Sorry to interrupt, but are you familiar with Montessori education? Not particularly. Basically, it's where kids are educated by where they're at, not based on age, but based on intelligence and maturity. That's how I approach my work-home life, alright?

It's a balance balance delicate or otherwise and I feel like I'm ready to work here so what if I have a you who spiked with Bailey's so what if I use a swim diaper

you are one of the best coders we have wait you have a you who is what I said second thing was a diaper a swim diaper what is a pool

if not a big toilet dude dog okay Nina I'm gonna to drive home. With me? You brought your car. We drove separately, right?

That was kind of a rental, though. I figured, like, they said I could leave it. I could drop it off at the San Francisco location. So if you could just kind of caravan with me to San Francisco, it's just an hour north. And then we could kind of share a car on the way back to LA. So we'll drive an hour north and then drive like seven hours back together. Yeah, but the hour, you would kind of get that peace and quiet you need. And then we could kind of like sing on the way down.

Public domain stuff. What songs could you possibly want? Public domain. You want to sing public domain songs? We'll be coming round the mountain when we come. Just two dogs in a toyota rav4 we'll be going into work monday morning because we stayed an extra day at the camping site and people are jealous i also really what i imagine from this review you know the commercials of like

the anti-smoking commercials or like the don't do drugs. It's the cartoon of the guy and the dog. I imagine it's like those people like at a campsite and you know, the dude, like you're, you're like, we're at a campfire and I'm at your feet and you're, you're lighting up like a joint or something. And you're just like having a blast.

I'm just like, Hmm. Back at it again. Aren't we, Adam? What's that? Uh, again, aren't we, Adam? What's that? I mean, woof, right? That's what you want me to say.

Oh, do you want some? Do I want some of that? That? That icky, sticky devil grass? No thanks, ass. Wow. I'm sorry. I didn't know that it would offend you. I, ass. Wow. I'm sorry. I didn't know that it would offend you. I can stop.

No, don't stop on my account. Wouldn't want you to stop for me. Want you to stop for thee. I need you to stop smoking weed, Adam. Cut, cut. This is not a PSA for anti-drug campaigns. This is a coming-of-age movie, and none of those lines are in the script.

It feels like you're bringing your personal agenda into the movie. Listen, I know a lot of people think that cannabis is good for dogs with glaucoma, which I have, but I've seen what it can do to my owner at home. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just hits a little close to home. I'm happy to take it again. All right, to my owner at home. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just hits a little close to home.

I'm happy to take it again. I'm happy to take it again. And again, the line is, hey, let me hit that. And then you guys kind of improvise on, like, how it makes you feel. Action. All right. Bark, bark. Hey, Adam.

Cut. Again, okay, so this is a Wilfred-type movie. It's like dogs can talk in this world. So don't say bark, bark, because bark never a Wilfred-type movie. It's like dogs can talk in this world, so don't say Bark Bark, because Bark never existed. All right, action. Sorry. Cut really quick. Can I call cut?

I call cut. Cut. All right. Okay. You cut, though? You're good? Okay. Yeah, I cut because the director said cut, but yeah.

Well, yeah, it's okay. We all said it. Only you and the director said it. Are we sure about this scene? Are we sure we want to send the message that you can get high with your dog and your dog will be fine with it? The idea is that this is a man who has been a Puritan his entire life, upbringing. He was engaged until he was 23, and then he realized that that life wasn't for him. So he decided to do the things that he was always told not to do.

And he does it with his best friend, Dog. And again, in this world, dogs can talk. Action. Hey, can I hit that? You sure, man? Pretty strong stuff. Yeah. Give me some of that, please.

Hands it to him. Cut. Sorry, cut. Cut. No, keep going. Keep keep going you don't call cut keep rolling i don't feel this doesn't align with me this doesn't align with me now cut what is here can i talk to you for a second yeah what's up you nailed it in the audition you had no problem doing it on a self-tape you had no problem doing it when we brought you into the room it was amazing

what changed between then and now because now you're it's acting you know it's acting i know like but sometimes it doesn't feel have you seen some of my previous work i was in the anti-drug campaign i was that dog right and so it's like that's kind of when i was doing the audition and the callback i didn't expect to actually get it because it uh you know it kind of goes against my whole thing people look at me and they know what I stand for. And so now it's just like, who am I if not a liar? Can I just be honest with you? And I'm sure you already know this.

Bark, bark. Don't, yeah, don't, whatever. Everyone on the set has different morals, different senses of humor, different, any number of things that could not be represented by them in the script but this is a job all right that guy over there behind the camera he's amish he's not supposed to be on camera he's not supposed to be captured but ironically his job is a cinematographer might

go against his morals if he was in front of the camera but he knows that it's a job you this is not real marijuana this is tea and you don't have to okay okay okay all right action all right um hey uh can i hit that yeah i mean you sure you sure man this is strong stuff no i'm positive i'm positive it looks mighty fine all right here you go eats it idiot dog this is the show that's the then that's a show bojack God! Idiot dog! Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark! This is the show. That's the show. And that's a show. Bojack Horseman,

dog weed, Amish cinematographer, the show. So still Bojack Horseman, though? Because that's a show. And even if you take that out, the title is Dog Weeds, Amish Cinemat cinematographer man which

sucks all right let's do the last sigma you said you already had one let's hear it so in the rashid's backyard, there is a rabbit, an eastern cottontail, who has been coming around for months. And one of their family members, like this three-year-old cousin, young cousin, named him Chucky recently. They asked him because they're like, oh, he doesn't have a name. Chucky? Chucky. All right. Chucky, recently. They asked him because they're like, oh, he doesn't have a name. Chucky? Chucky. Ass. All right.

And so Chucky the rabbit, like, so Daniel's dad had been seeing this rabbit just chill in the backyard for a while. And they have a garden in their backyard. They grow all sorts of vegetables and flowers. And so Daniel's dad would start, like, he would kind of wait on one side of the yard and hold out a carrot or some lettuce or whatever. And so he did this so often that Chucky started to trust him and would let Daniel's dad hand-feed him. And then Daniel's mom started doing it, and then Daniel's brother started doing it. And it's now to the point where Chucky shows up and just chills in the yard every day. And Daniel and I were sitting outside playing backgammon yesterday.

And Chucky was sitting, like, two feet away, just, like, laid out on his back. Like, he is a dog now. But he's still, like, a wild animal enough to, like, if we make any sudden movements or any loud noises, he like freaks out and runs away. And like, he won't let you pet him. But it's like, he doesn't, it's not that he takes the food and immediately sprints off. He'll take the food, hop a couple steps away to eat it. It's fascinating.

That's so cool. And so it's like, it's, we've all been feeding him and just seeing him from time to time. And it's fun. It's because it's different than a pet in that it's like, Chucky doesn't have to to come like he has no ties but he he trusts but has like a good level of fear still but is learning to like trust it's just it's wild and daniel's dad was like yeah what's really cool about like what's cool and special about seeing him in the morning is knowing that like he made it through

the harsh evanston wildlife didn't get his ass yet yeah that's so cool though it's funny that he chose that backyard yeah and also daniel's dad was like i've been researching a lot about these kind of rabbits it's like just because i have nothing else to do um and he's like rabbits have a really like their radius of where their life is is very small it's only like two or three miles and they had said that like last year maybe a year and a half ago they had seen a baby bunny in their in their yard a lot and so they think it might have been chucky because like he's he's comfortable enough in this place that's insane so this is probably like where he spent most of his life i mean what it's not even it's not inside the house but i was about to call it a house bunny anna ferris style

it is a house bunny chucky the house but when A house bunny. It is a house bunny. Chucky the house bunny. When you sent me those photos, I was like, this is not real. Oh, yeah. I sent Jeff a couple videos of Daniel and I feeding Chucky. Chucky. I was giving him a carrot top. And instead of just taking the end, fully reaches around to grab the top and cut it off. So then he can go off and inhale the whole thing.

So it's true what they say. Rabbits love carrots. Rabbits love carrots rabbits love carrots i mean he also loves grass and like anything else just carrots just carrots but so daniel's dad was telling me that like he noticed that anytime he would offer food cheeky would have to kind of give him the side eye and then kind of hop around and over because because the rabbit's eyes are so far on the side no way it has a blind spot right in the front. So if you're holding out something directly in front of him,

he cannot see it. Although there's probably some evolutionary thing for that. Oh, totally, because he has to go around, look at it from this way, and then sidestep to you to get it. So basically... It's wild. That's crazy.

That's what's been shaking me. Oh, he's so cute Last week you said You were talking about statement pants Yes So you inspired me to order Some vintage corduroy Levi's In my exact size

On the tag Very cool But the thing I've learned about vintage pants Is that they shrink over time Just on basic fading And washing and wear. So the pants come yesterday. I sent a photo of them to Riley.

They fit perfectly up until my groin. It wouldn't fit over the wagon. I have a Mrs. Incredible ass. Oh, my. And this is incredible ass. Oh, my god. I was inspired by Anne Spa. And all I got was my

emotions toyed with ya jaw. And it's... Excuse me? I couldn't think of a rhyme fast enough, is all. And then the quarter I wouldn't fit over my... Toyed with ya jaw? It was... I have a bongo. a set of bongos down there.

Women love it. I need you to stop. Women love it. Every partner I've had in the last three years has said, you have a really nice ass. And I am a virgin, so that was just made up for the show. The pants didn't fit and it kind of brought me to shit. I reached rock bottom because it wouldn't fit over my jock or bottoms. Did they rip?

Denim. Stop it. It was corduroy. They did not rip. I sent a photo of them and Riley said RIP. And I was like, they did rip. But they didn't rip. They just don't fit over the wagon.

But it was fine. They were only like 20 bucks. I would love if someone made a tally of how many times Jeff says the wagon. We need to get a wagon emoji. There's no wagon emoji. Can you imagine that? I can. It's so zazzy.

All right. I'm just asking. So that's what's been shaking me. Well, I'm sorry about your pants. Well, I'm still going to get a statement pant. Don't you worry because I can see you're kind of like furrowing your brow. Like, is he going to get that cord? I'm fine.

Is he going to get that cord? I'm not thinking, is he going to get that cord? A'm fine. Is he going to get that cord? I'm not thinking, is he going to get that cord? A corduroy to the prophecy. I will be getting the statement. A corduroy to the prophecy. I've been a marauder's map this episode and Riley's trying to make heads or tails of it. I haven't said any real sentences the entire show.

No, I need to leave. Of course. Jeff, where can people find me? You can be found at Riley Anspaugh on Instagram and TikTok at Riley Coyote on Twitter. Jeffrey can be found at I am Jeffrey James on Instagram. Don't play no James on Twitter. And I am Jeffrey James on TikTok. Correct.

And review review on Instagram and subreddit r slash review review. We started recording the Zooms, I think. So we should be we're going to be posting some some some video content as well, because some of our stuff is more visual. So definitely follow the Instagram if you haven't. And and listen to the HeadGum podcast. Can you commit on air to going on the show as soon as you get back that following Tuesday? As soon as as soon as I can, I will do that.

That's not a commitment. The Tuesday after you get back from the road trip, can you come on? I will do my darnedest. That's not a commitment. Fine. People get mad at me because they're like, why didn't you invite Riley? I'm like, I do. I am.

I am. I will put it in my calendar right now. And until next week, I'm Riley Anspa. I am Jeffrey James with a wagon. That thick ass. And thanks to all those podcats out there

listening. Merch coming soon. We should say merch coming soon. Merch coming soon. Possible Patreon coming soon. We've heard the call of the wild. No one asked for it. No one asked for it. Merch coming soon. Possible Patreon coming soon. We've heard the call of the wild. No one asked for it. No one asked for it. We just need cash. By the wild, I mean that cash money, honey.

I guess this is a good experiment. Let us know if you would subscribe to the Patreon, because I think we should only do it if enough people would be interested. But we have a lot of ideas for bonus video content, bonus live streams, limited edition merch, bonus episodes, and maybe even like a short web series or something. Please let us know if you would dig a Patreon. And if not, well, I'll go fuck myself. Me too.

Arrivederci. That was a hate gum podcast.