Review Revue - The Container Store

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about The Container Store and discuss Barry White song intros, Oprah, and not taking work home with you!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Jeff's reading critiques. Riley's comedy slaves. Five stars to me who's singing it. Review, review. Yeah. His parents' divorce. Led Marty astray asking if we can take

a break review review I wanna listen to a podcast that's more than chimes and find

it's bigger than gall top of the who hole and spawn jeans they shook us all week you'll laugh

your wagon off from these wacky reviews. If you're in an improv mood, well, that's just awesome, dude. I just want to review, review. So good. Oh. Unmatched. Unparalleled.

Bob Buell, you absolute dog. You Buell me, Bob. You absolutely fuel my ass. That was amazing. Right before Jeff played it, he goes, okay, guess who the voice is. And it took me a second, and then I just mouthed, Bob. And Jeff goes, yeah. And I'm like, oh, my God.

Oh, my Bob. Thank you to our pal and VI podcast, Bob Buell, for that theme song submission. Oh, my Bob. Thank you to our pal and VI podcast, Bob Buell, for that theme song submission. Oh my God. It was incredible. I think as of today, fully vaccinated Bob Buell. And I shouldn't know that off the top, but I do. Bob, you know how we love a bad big band cover,

except yours was better. We should announce that we're doing a virtual live review review on wednesday april 21st at 9 p.m eastern 6 p.m pacific we're gonna have some special guests um i don't know if we're gonna announce them or not but yeah live show ever first live show ever yeah it's our first ever review review live show i'm so excited i'm a little nervy i'm i'm nervy i'm as in i'm nervous and i'm nervy so like i'm on the edge of my seat i'm anxious and then i'm also like who else but us no fucking way anyone else you've got nerve is what you're saying i've got the nerve to say that we deserved this i guess i am I am very, very excited. Obviously, wish it was in person.

Yeah. Obviously, wish we had the rights to fuh you. Of course. I'm still, I'm very, very excited. So, hey, save the date because we're getting married to you.

We really are. It's going to be nuptials. We really are. We're like legally going to marry everyone who comes to the show. Yeah. Anyone out there whose to the show. Yeah. Anyone out there whose name is Claire? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Will you marry me? Oh, my God. Yeah. Jeff, that's at least like five people right there. That's at least five. Yeah. That's a lot, though.

I figure one of them has to legitimately say yes. There's probably more than that. Five is really low balling it. Well, now I'm starting to have cold feet. Now I'm wondering if I should just hang out with my boys. So there's no middle ground. Either you marry 6,000 plus people named Claire or you hang

out with the guys. Yeah, I go stag. Okay. But we're not talking about just Claire today. We're talking about clear containers. If you talking about clear containers. That's good. If you want a clear container, they also have rainbow. They have solid.

They have matte. They have gloss. They have wicker. Jesus Christ. They have plastic. They have glass. They have ass. And they have sass.

We're talking the container store today. I'm not going to marry Claire. I'm not gonna marry claire i'm gonna marry clear as then i'm gonna fucking redo my closet system jeffrey you suggested the container store really pick a little talk a little pick a little talk a little cheap cheap cheap talk a lot pick a little more about the container store have you been i've never been i've uh i used to work near the grove and i would go get chipotle for lunch and the container store is right next to there so i would see people hobble out with bins with systems with racks you can't say that it looks like some kind of haven um and i wasn't i was expecting to only

bring in like positive reviews but both of mine are one star. My experience with closets, though, and closet systems is that I reinstalled an entire closet system last spring, around this time last year. Well, you've also been recording from a closet for the better part of a year. And I appreciate you bringing that up. I really do. So you're very acquainted with closets, Harry Potter. You're a little Harry Potter boy. You're a little wizard under the stairs,

scar in his hairs in a closet. And you ain't got the magic touch, Jeffrey. You really ain't. You don't have it. You're just sitting in coats, dreaming your big dreams from a little room with no windows and no doors. That's a little Haunted Mansion bit for anyone.

You know, when you go in the elevator of Haunted Mansion, it's like there's no windows and no doors. And fuck. I really, you like, you messed me up. I messed me up. I messed you up? I actually did turn into Harry Potter this year, though. I got a fucking scar in the middle of my forehead, and I've been in a closet. You got thin wireframe glasses, and you're in a closet. Yeah.

You also learned magic. You also did get into Hogwarts, which is crazy. I learned magic, and it became tragic at a certain point. So, like, I was a nerd already, and now I at a certain point. So like I was a nerd already and now I have a fucking sphere. What is this show? It's bad rhymes and good times. Okay, here we go.

That's good. I have never been to a container store either, but I would love to go. And so last night when i was finding reviews um daniel asked what we're doing today and i told him the container store and he's like oh my god i'm like i've never been and he's like riley you would lose your fucking mind if you went to a container store he's like you would want to and he told me this assessment and this he's completely right he's like you would want to buy everything you would find an excuse to go into that store buy everything in sight and then you'd

come home and you would have no use for it you don't have enough stuff to like put in containers you want to be so organized that you don't even have the stuff exactly yeah i feel like i'd go into a container store and like imagine reasons for why i'd need things just to be able to get it and take it home yeah um but it's like i see you know like the glass containers for like food in the kitchen and it looks pretty but i'm like it feels very impractical to me i was just talking to my family about this because that means that so let's say you get like oats and you put it in a fucking jar once you get to like the very bottom and you only have like a fucking jar. Once you get to the very bottom and you only have a half bowl of oats left,

you have to replace it. But if you put them on top, you're just going to keep amassing a bottom layer of bad oats, stale oats. Oh, that's really... I've never thought about that, but that's exactly correct. I'm against that kind of kitchen storage,

if I'm being honest. And that's like the hill you die on. You don't make a claim about anything else, but that you're like, no, I'm anti-kitchen storage in that way yeah no i was cheated on once and uh it was a gray area to be sure because we hadn't said we were exclusive and i was like yeah but we've been dating for three months then she explained her side and i just kind of gave up halfway through but then she tried to put for lack of a better term, honey bunches of oats and a fucking dispenser. And I said, I'm gone. Do you want to start us off with your first review?

It's hard because I'm on like the verge of tears now. Maybe you should start us off. Okay, I'll start. Yeah, you just take a second while I pull it up and read it. Okay. This review is for the container store on Fairfax in los angeles um nice so here's the thing you know on yelp at the bottom it's like you can rate reviews you can rate the review so it's like useful funny and cool yeah it's how i want people to say about riley i mean god she was useful

she was funny and above all she was cool your husband is like i'm sorry how did you know my wife okay so this review this has the most ratings I've come across. It has 36 votes for useful, 28 votes for funny, and 33 for cool. Oh my God, how can a review be cool anyway? This is four stars from Tess M. Jeff, what's the last name for Tess M? Let's go Mank. Like the Oscar-nominated film?

Like the what? Okay, Tess Mank. Okay, here we go. Four stars. Browsing here put me in a serious organizing mood. Make that throw everything out and start from scratch mood. Kitchen, bath,everything-out-and-start-from-scratch mood. Kitchen, bath, closets, office.

Yeah, I want to do it all. Paired way down. Minimalism at its best. However, that takes purging, planning, measurements, math. Upbeat, knowledgeable staff sent me home with stored catalogs plus plenty of ideas to make my small space work, but only after I've done my homework. The container store abates parking stress

by offering two-hour validation for customers who shop in-store as well as those who order online by phone, then pick up merchandise at this location. The way that this read to me was either like a beat poem yeah or or it kind of reminded me like you know like the kind of like like let's get into the bedroom like love sex songs like the 70s and 80s and it kind of has like the vo at the beginning of like hey girl tonight we're gonna get in it i'm in a serious organizing mood like yeah very white um we're gonna go for another take it's just me the engineer in the booth um i thought the lyrics were um we got it together

didn't we we've definitely got our own thing together don't we baby isn't that nice oh that was yeah that was the draft that i came in with but it's like i you know it's like once you do a couple takes it's like i get i get in the mood and so it's like this is kind of what when i'm oh god it's like i'm really jazzed about this one you guys like i feel like i feel like we should just like do another take right now all right yeah um let's go for it recording whenever you're ready hey baby i know you're feeling it because i'm feeling it too that's good i want to put my oats in a jar put it on a marbled countertop we're gonna stop guys you like you didn't even let me do it we're recording on tape so this is so expensive every take is so expensive exactly so i don't understand

why i have to keep doing it over and over let's just talk about the theme of the song you're talking about your betrothed right a love interest i mean like yeah i mean i feel like when i wrote the song i was imagining this person is just like the love of my life and like i just want to like worship their body you get me i get you that's great that's great energy to go into it with let's keep that in mind yeah no no no i i know what you're talking i totally i know exactly what mean. I know exactly what you mean. Okay, good, good, good. All right, let's just play it. We're recording. Okay. Hey, baby.

Tonight is all about you. It's about your body. It's about your eyes. It's about your thighs. It's about that skin. I want to get you some clear lotion containers. Put them in your bathroom. Open up that medicine cabinet.

You'll know exactly where to find it that's right baby next to your eye drops you got that dry eye don't cry we got them in purple and pink containers you started lathering lotion on the mic i'd also ask you not to do that i was getting into the song i'm sorry if like you guys are repressed if this isn't like if you feel uncomfortable if you feel uncomfortable, if you feel uncomfortable, then that's a whole other thing. You said those dry eyes.

I'm something else about that. Like, let's just, I want to, let's run through an exercise, right? Because you had it before you started recording. I feel like when we start recording, you start to get in your head about all these other things,

like organization, hygiene routines, all these like really domestic things that yes, would be a part of a married relationship but that's not very sexy but but it's like you need to have both anyway what's this exercise what let's just name three things that you want in a partner just three adjectives ideally they're sexy yeah yeah but just you know off the top just so i can know where

your three things i want in a partner. I want spontaneity. Yeah, that's sexy. I want playfulness. Oh, yeah. And I want alphabetized shelves. That is not sensual. And the whole song is sensual. It is sensual. If we're looking for a record to listen to,

and my finger is skimming over like like that's oh and knowing that if i land on one this the the one that starts with co is not gonna be before ca you know what i mean like that's and this is during that's hot play this is foreplay all right um we have one tape left we have one line of tape left on the day the studio costs a hundred thousand dollars per day i understand sexy sensual loving romantic candle lit again last chance this is crazy oh girl tonight yeah it's the night. The candles are lit. your suits are neatly organized on one side on color-coded hangers? That's right, girl. I did it just for me. Because you like a well-organized man. Oh, you look down. Where are my shoes? They're in the box. But not just any box. It's a box that has a label on it. It says dress shoes. And that we got leisure shoes and then below that we got pleasure

shoes and we're going to take those out but we know where we're going to put them back at the end of the night because we don't want to leave things strewn out over the floor. That gets messy but tonight you and I can get messy and we can use some of that edible chocolate that I have stored in a in a glass jar in the kitchen because I know exactly where that is that has a label on it too so I don't get it confused with the chocolate for ice cream or anything like that I love you so much and that's why I I'm gonna I'm gonna propose to you and I'm gonna do it with a ring that's in a box that's on my that's on my dresser shelf but it's not just any box it's a box that's in a box that's on my dresser shelf, but it's not just any box.

It's a box that, again, we bought a labeler and we put a label on that and it says engagement ring and that's next to my cufflinks, which are in another labeled container. We have the silver cufflinks and we have the gold cufflinks and those, those again are in two separate boxes everything i own in this house is in a box just for you and for me so we know where things go and you know where we go together i think we have it you've never had sex have you what me yeah i'd like to, sure Let's just press the vinyl, send it out This Barry White is B-E-R-R-Y And they get a different guy named Barry White And then he does the actual song

Strawberry White I'm Strawberry White What else did you expect? Alright, should we take a break? Marty I'm Strawberry White. What else did you expect? All right. Should we take a break? Marty. And we're back. Are we ready for another review?

Strawberry White Strawberry White Tried to make it big with love songs In the 70s About organization and closet systems Oh my god I thought you booked Barry White for the party I did

I thought I did too But apparently it was a fucking hi miss milmer yeah hi strawberry okay jeffrey all right this is a review of the same container store at the grove on fairfax one star from christina a christina affleck again you're gonna say that christina affleck writes a lot of reviews for this show you You know she lives on a hot **** road in Laurel Canyon next to ****. You can't dox Christina. You cannot dox Christina Applegate, obviously. I can.

I'm not going to. Okay. One star. Very disappointed with the service. Had three closets designed and installed by them. Aside from the fact that the top tracks were installed four inches short, the materials they delivered the day before had a lot of missing parts. I got a call from a staff member that told me eight drawer baskets were backordered when in fact they were 12 short.

Getting a hold of them after this mishap was a nightmare. I was put on hold for 20 minutes and still didn't get to talk to anyone. And this is the part that gets me. The manager, Rob, was an ass who had the audacity to be mad. You wrote this review! I'll save my opinion about how soon they can get this

fixed when the final job is completed. Until then, I have no choice but to wait. Yeah. He was an ass who had the audacity. The manager, Rob, was an ass who had the audacity to be mad at me. Someone in the wrong being upset is so funny to me. No, I mean, I'm glad that you asked me to coffee there and i didn't know that my relationship with your family was getting closer than yours is to them i mean rob you specifically

told them to not invite me to christmas dinner what do you want me to say you're sort of a downer they're my family why are you mad at me? You should be apologizing You want me to apologize to you Just because I'm closer with your parents Than you are to them And I'm sort of boxing you out emotionally You're stealing them

It's not like they just formed a bond with you You are actively turning them against me I have no say in the matter Wow You are brainwashing my family So because I got a membership at your dad's golf club actively turning them against me. I have no say in the matter. You are brainwashing my family. So because I got a membership at your dad's golf club, started making sure my tea time

was the same as his, and we started hitting it off at the club, somehow that's infiltrating your family and stealing your dad? My god, Rob, can you hear yourself when you talk? I don't appreciate this. I'm actually really angry at you.

You're angry? What did I do? You had the audacity to be, yeah. You're looking for things to be mad at me about you. I am watching you try and find a reason. You want me to go, oh, what if I went and did the same thing to your family? What? Would that be so? Oh, let me just, you know what? I you know what i have your mom on speed dial let me just give her a ring

let me just give her a ring no fucking way mrs d'angelo yeah hi mrs d'angelo it's it's it's it's peter hey i haven't heard from you in years oh i know you know it's just it's just don't you dare strike up a relationship with my mom. It's Christmas time. And I know that Rob really hasn't been present. I was wondering, you know, I know that your husband died and I'm so, again, my condolences. And I was just wondering, would you like some company for Christmas dinner? I could come over, maybe make us some roast chicken or something. If you celebrate Christ's birth with my fucking ma, I'm going to kill you.

What do you say, d'angelo yeah that sounds amazing lord knows rob isn't gonna come no he absolutely will not i don't think he's gonna be coming around your place ever again so i'm i'm happy to step in and be there for whatever you hang up that phone you hang up that phone then you you go to your mom for christmas and you let me have my family i call your mom hey pat, Patricia. Hi, Rob. Hi, honey. Christmas dinner. Let's talk about it.

Oh, we're so excited to have you. Oh, they're so excited to have you. Then make them not excited to have you. Make them not fucking excited to have you. Let's do this. Let's do this. You don't celebrate Christmas with my mother, and I go to your family's for Christmas. Absolutely not.

Mom, Peter? Yeah, Peter's here, but don't mind. Don't mind Peter. He's just going. with my mother and i go to your families for christmas absolutely not mom peter yeah peter's here but don't mind don't meet don't mind peter he's uh he's just going going to your mom's for christmas going to my mom's for christmas so that sucks oh he's going to your mom's for christmas yeah but it's no big deal i'll probably i'll probably figure out a way to kind of uh sabotage that oh well um man you know i haven't talked to your mom in years, but I feel so awful about the passing of your father. How lonely she must be this time of year. Yeah, well, you know, that's why I've been going to you guys, because it also hit me pretty tough.

And you guys have been good for me emotionally. I have an idea. Why don't we all do Christmas dinner together? Cut to that. We're just sitting on, we're both at the opposite heads of the table. Glaring at each other. I'm so glad, Miss D'Angelo, that our families could get together

to celebrate this glorious holiday. Oh, me too, me too. It's been obviously a difficult year for all of us. Of course, my condolences. Yes, difficult for some people more than others, maybe. Probably for you, Miss D'Angelo, right? Well, thanks for saying that, Peter. Of course, I do what I can.

Can you not hold hands? Can you guys not hold hands? You guys like touched hands in like a nice, loving way and a supportive way. See, he was just trying to comfort her, Rob. Don't even worry. Why do we have to act like everything's normal when I'm pissed at Peter? Why this is not normal? You are mad at me.

You started this whole thing. All of this is your fault. Rob, what did you do? I didn't do anything. I struck up. I played golf. Oh, and the boys got a mean swing. I'll tell you that much.

Oh, thanks, Patrick. Thanks. Listen, I infiltrated a family, and I don't think my anger's misplaced. I know what's going on. Rob, have you been eating your chicken medium rare recently? Yeah. It's a delicacy. It's not.

I'm sorry, everybody, but Rob has a tapeworm. He has a tapeworm, and when that happens, his emotions kind of get shifted down a notch. So when he's happy, he gets angry. When sad he gets glad you know what i don't appreciate it's really invalidating ma for you to tell me that every time that i'm like blowing off the deep end it's because i have a fucking organism for robbing me of nutrients on the inside coming out of your ear oh honey you might want to look at it's coming out of here what no why are you guys all looking at me all right i'm just i'm a normal guy and i'm so it finally out i'm so happy to be here with you guys it's sliding across the table let's see

tapeworm takes a seat at the table Jesus Christ do you want to do your next review? okay here we go this is for the container store in the Flatiron in New York, New York this is from Chloe B Barn Chloe Barn

this is this is four stars from Chloe Barn want to hear an embarrassing story i know you do i went to the container store dot dot dot because oprah told me i should she said that the staff were friendly the price is low the selection of empty things to fill with your own crap, dot, dot, dot. Unbelievable and ingenious. And she was right. She was so, so right. I visited the container store, explained that I needed an organizational system for my knitting, and the snappy, helpful salesperson came up with the perfect solution for me. All caps, a personalized solution for my messy life. It was like having a a guru i am now one of those people who can say that oprah changed her life there's no greater shame p.s if you're wondering about that missing

star it's because their ac wasn't working and i sweated in a way that's very unbecoming of a lady who is this fucking person there was two there one it's like there's no shame in being like yeah oprah recommended this thing god fucking damn it she was right it's like it's fine that she was right it's okay she's like one of the world's most influential people it's fine wait so you're telling me it's only 30 for an entirely new closet system that i can install myself yeah that's exactly that's exactly right it's only 30 oprah was right she was right about this she was right about the last book i read and guess what else what i had a wine that she had and i really liked it this is just my fucking

luck isn't it that's great i i mean listen i love oprah and yeah we've gotten a lot of people coming in because she's recommended our store which is which is just unbelievably kind of her she visited here um like last spring i think she took a photo with all of us she's so so awesome and i hate myself because i wish that i was there on that day to be in the photo right like i wish i could be my own person i want to come up with my own ideas and want to know that what i have and what I like is because I found it. But instead, I do everything that Oprah does. That's, yeah. You know how many calls I made to try and interview Meghan Markle?

Okay. I thought you meant like Oprah's favorite things of like, you know, here's a wine or here's a nice candle or maybe like a little bakery that she enjoys. You're trying to do her job? My best friend's name is Gail, and I don't like her. It's just because the name fits. Again, if you want me to help install the closet system, I can do that. Again, you're right, it is $30,

and that was the Oprah special that we named after her. So we could put the Oprah special in your closet if you want. I mean, and I hate myself for saying this but that would be awesome because oprah doesn't lift a finger she does everything is done for her and that's how i want it to be actually we will we would love a review from you and please don't say that you'd hate to do this because no yeah i'll do the review yeah five stars i'll do it right now in front of you five stars i'm gonna do the. Some of my favorite things. Thank you. When you go to the container store, everybody looks under their seat.

Everybody gets a container at the container store. It's fun. It's like what Oprah does. Damn it, it is, isn't it? I'm confused. Are you intentionally trying to live your life like Oprah? Or is it an accident and it just happens to be that way? It's the second one,

but I just like, I'm already drawn to do what Oprah does. And then when I catch myself doing it, I get kind of mad at myself because I want to be me. I don't want to be Oprah. And their customer comes in. Hi, I'm looking for the Oprah special. I heard about it on her latest podcast.

And oh yeah, come right on in. It's $30, right? And you didn't hear about it on her latest podcast. Oh, yeah, come right on in. It's $30, right? And you didn't hear about it on my podcast? Who are you? My name is Daniel Oprah Winfrey James. No, I live in Midtown. Do you think you... Oh, yeah, yeah, we can get that to you probably by the end of tomorrow.

Oh, my God. Oprah was right about you guys she said you guys have the best disposition here and you're so helpful and this has been really amazing can i ask you why you need the uh organization what why i need the organization yeah just like what are you trying to change in your life oh i'm an illustrator and so it just oh my my pencils and my markers are just all over the place. And just to sort of have like a whole closet for my art supplies is really going to change the game, I think, for me. And Oprah told me that it's like an organized space leads to success.

And I really believe that. I took that to heart. Oh, that's so wonderful. I mean, that's what we do here at the Container Store. Yeah, no, I know. I think that's why she really recommended it. What's the biggest obstacle, I guess, that you've had when illustrating?

I'm so sorry. I'm in a bit of a rush. I have to go bring some of my prints. No, I just want to get an in-depth interview. Again, I don't have the time. Really quick, really quick. What is the biggest obstacle that you faced as an artist? If you want, we can exchange information, maybe.

Anybody ever tried to box you in to certain categories? Sure, sure. And did you stay boxed in to certain categories? Sure, sure. And did you stay boxed in? I'm checking out. Yeah, I don't think so. All right, that'll be $32.59. Don't shush me. Did you choose to be quiet or were you silenced?

That's kind of like the quote from the Meghan Markle interview with Oprah, right? No way she said that. I was thinking of saying that. Well, she didn't say that. She said, were you silent or were you silenced? So she didn't say what you said. I know. It's like so similar.

Why are we the same? I almost feel like we should just get dinner because of all this. I need to go. If you're going to follow me, could you at least help me carry these things to my car wait I like to grab you by the wrist let me do the interview please security tackles you

it's like one of those movie transitions where I'm like and I'm behind bars maybe I was more Martha Stewart the whole time nice dude Jeffrey would you like to close close us out yeah you know kind of like that you have to go to like a massage therapist or something you're so tight today yeah it's all one contraction i'm giving birth on the day sorry but like what if i gave birth on the

podcast anyway i don't want to midwife you virtually oh my god you i'm not pregnant i just want to say that i wouldn't be good at being a midwife you'd be like just um fucking do it come on let's get it over with so we can go to fucking uh we wanted to go skeeball skeeb we're gonna go to demon busters let's on, I was going to go bowling and you might come depending on your feeling. Depending on your feeling, you said you would go. The baby's crowning. Ew!

You're disgusting of this. You cannot come bowling. She's shitting. She's shitting. Talk. Oh, God. Talk. It's only you.

No. No. I don't want to. Oh, great. A kid. I hate children. Oh, great. All right. a kid I hate children quote great alright this is one star from Jim B Jim Beam

of course one star from Jim Beam from where sorry from the container store in Pasadena this place is awful unorganized messy and in disarray. They have no idea what's in stock and what isn't.

For the container store. For the container store. It's like going to the Apple store and they don't have Wi-Fi. Oh, no. Somebody is on a first date they show up really ungroomed just like hair messy shirt untucked only on one side hey sorry i'm late just came from work oh my god um are you so i'm so sorry are you okay do you want a rain check no i'm okay that's time i i mean i know i look disheveled i know i was was not on time. I'm just...

Yeah. My day job is I'm a personal stylist and assistant to an A-list celebrity. So, like, I'm just... Yeah. And did something happen today? Was there an emergency? No, I'm just like... Like, I obviously look like shit.

I'm so sorry. That's okay. I'm just one... Sorry. It's just you said that you're a stylist, which is so exciting. Who do you style? I did Gosling. I ended up doing Shawn Mendes for a while.

He introduced me to Camila, so I did Camila Cabello. They're all very well-dressed. You do a great job with them. Are you sure you don't want to do this another time? I really don't mind. My week is pretty free. I get what's up. You're embarrassed to be out with me.

No, no. We're in like a five-star white tablecloth restaurant. Like everyone, it is formal dress. Yes, I have a mustard stain on my horribly thick Hanes beefy tee. Yes, I'm wearing khaki slacks that could not be longer. The break is longer than the slacks themselves and yes i haven't brushed my teeth in a calendar year i was late by 45 minutes but you know what when i'm at work all my being on time all my looking good is exhausted and if you're gonna

date me you gotta know this about me i don't bring work home with me. Okay. So he's, you know, when I imagined dating a stylist, I thought like, oh, wow, they're going to be, and no offense, but I thought they were going to be like dressed to the nines. I'm like, you could teach me a thing or two, you know? Yeah. I mean, look, if you were a masseuse, wouldn't you be a little pissed off if you came home from a long day at work and I asked you to rub my back? I guess.

It's just a lot to ask. I was wearing like a Gucci shirt before that. I changed in the car. I don't think it's too much to ask for you to brush your teeth before a date and to show up on time. You know what? I don't need this. I get enough of this from Camilla. So you do do this at work.

No, I just get chided. And that's when I'm doing it right. Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'm really sorry for what I said. I think let's do this another time when we're both rested and clean. And, you know, we make an effort for each other, right? For a first date, for first impressions. All right.

Do you want to do Saturday night? I don't have work on saturday yes that sounds wonderful maybe maybe we could do we'd go out to a bar or take a walk or something huh what'd you what did you say i said a bar or a walk okay and you said to go to the dump i said go to the dump is that a bar is that a there's sometimes are used beer bottles with a little bit of like extras at the bottom i call it icing on the cake um we could try and get drunk off that what is wrong with you you make a lot of money presumably you can be you i mean you chose this place i don't like bringing work home with me i already said that when i'm at work it's crystal clear it's it's the celebrity lifestyle it's gorgeous mansions and gorgeous people and gorgeous

clothes and being clean and you have to be on time because these people need to be on time and they will fire you if you're even two minutes late so when i I go home, I go the opposite way. I want to hang out at a fucking marsh. I want to wade into the fucking marsh in the worst clothes that you can find at a fucking violin's basement. I've never met anyone like you. Okay. I work at the container store on Fairfax by the Grove.

My life is clean. It is organized. It is, you know, crossing the T's and dotting the I's. And I've never let myself get messy. I've never taken the top off of a bin. I've never put anything in the wrong place. And hearing how you live your life is inspiring. And I take a little bit of like butter from the middle of the table, put it on my finger. Don't you dare. And I'd like to give it a try. I smear it across your face. Oh. Don't you dare. And I'd like to give it a try. I smear it across your face.

Oh. They start having intense sex on the table. Shoving bread into their, like, armpits. A bunch of food. Oh, my God. Salt and pepper in each other's hair. Sacre bleu, you get out of here. Fine, but I'm taking this with me.

I do the thing where I whip the tablecloth off. Everything stays the same. Damn it, I can't even mess that up. We'll work on it. You throw everything on the floor. You swipe the table. Yeah! I grab a wine from the neighboring table,

toss it in my own eyes, and we start fucking like rabbits. Ha ha ha! The fuck? This shook me all week long. Okay. Jingle jangle. Did you hear that?

Yeah. that is the sound of not one but six new pairs of custom earrings that i was sent by a listener holy shit okay so my god y'all are incredible i got a dm a while ago i got a dym a while ago i got a dui from a while ago and i got a uti a while ago are you drunk i got an id oh my god it's not even noon i got an id I got a UTI um have you ever gotten an IUD a UTI and a DUI on the same day the IUD gave me the UTI right which I had too many vodka crayons and ended up with the DUI got it a couple weeks ago I got a message from one of our amazing listeners who noted again about how I love a statement earring, which I do. And she runs her own solo operation, woman owned Etsy store. And her Instagram handle is dazedlyshop. That's spelled D-A-Z-E-D-L-Y shop. And she has an Etsy store.

That's Daisley. And so you go to etsy.com slash CA slash shop slash Daisley. And she sent me a box filled with like six pairs of earrings. She hand makes all of the earrings. And I am like right now I'm wearing, as you can see, are there little ghosts like little sheet like ghosts like the classic little sheet ghosts with cowboy hats and these ones glow in the dark so i got these i got little mushrooms i got little succulents i got a little coffee bean

and a coffee cup i got and then we got review review stuff we got little earrings that are like two blocks of cheese and she says these are the chine earrings because they are cheese and fine. But then the piece de resistance. We have a little key chain with the hat from the Lids episode. The one that Jeff has, like the black hat with the neon Los Angeles on it. And a lighter holder, a custom review lighter holder. She's incredible. Um, I'm so, thank you so much for sending this stuff. And, um, because y'all, you're going to want these earrings. They're incredible. She has a coupon code set up for

listeners and that code is review, review 10. So it's the title of the show, 10, for 10% off, which is just so generous. Y'all, please go check out her store. Her stuff is amazing. I couldn't recommend her enough. And thank you again so, so much for sending these pieces. I am obsessed. I've already worn the mushrooms this morning

and then changed into the ghost because I can't decide because I love them all so much. So on Etsy, when you go visit her store, you can see that she has a couple select items, but she can also make custom pieces if you DM her. So she's done custom jewelry, and she's going to be doing custom lighter covers as well. So please go check her out, y'all. You won't regret it. She's incredible.

And use the coupon code REVIEWREVIEW10 to get 10% off. Thank you so much okay what shook you jeffrey uh which i have i have a kind of sad slash negative what shook me this week um so george and i my roommate george saba and i uh at secret george saba on instagram slash seat crete george saba on instagram uh we've been wanting to get a pinball machine for our house, but pinball machines are like often several thousand dollars. So like, it's just not plausible or worth it at that point.

But I found one on Craigslist that was selling for like just under a thousand dollars. And it was this guy who was retiring and moving out of LA. So I was like, Oh, if there's ever a deal to be had, it's this guy. So I texted him offering half of what he was asking and,

uh, he didn't respond. Um, and then I followed up yesterday, uh, and he hasn't responded. And so I don't know if it's that the offer was low, but it was a feeling of like,

we found it. We found an opportunity that we can actually afford to get a really, an actually really high quality pinball machine for not cheap, but like cheaper than anywhere else you'll be able to find them. And I got ghosted on Craigslist by David. I'm sorry, Jeff. That sucks. It's the most non-issue thing ever, but it's all I can think of for this week.

But it's so frustrating. That's frustrating. It's just the gap between excitement and disappointment which is why i shouldn't let myself get excited about craigslist finds until they're in my hands my greedy little grabbers my greasy little fingers yeah my french fry hands my patties no that's enough Jeff do you have anything to plug? I have nada to plug nada thing we are back Into the Mist is back

we took a week off last week to do a little renovation just to have some time some me time boil those gears but April 9th this week come get your tics you can find Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey James,

on Twitter at JeffBoyardee. You can find the show on Instagram at ReviewReview, on Reddit at r slash ReviewReview, and on Twitter at ReviewReviewShow. And you can follow Riley on Instagram at RileyAnspa, on Twitter at RileyCoyote. And if you feel it in your heart and have time, rate the show five stars on Apple Podcasts.

We haven't asked people to do that in a long time, but that would be appreciated. Maybe we should really start reading those again. We should make that like a weekly thing. Should we thank some VI podcasts? Why don't we? Why don't we thank them? Why don't we thank them? We do.

We're going to. Okay. Thank you to Aaron Carrico. Adam Shea. Agent Michael Skarn. Ako. Alex Watts. Alex Witt. Alton Burkholder. Al Shea. Agent Michael Skarn. Ako. Alex Watts. Alex Witt.

Alton Burkholder. Alvar Wallstrom Lindell. Anna Liv. Anthony Amadeo. Ari Rubin. Okay. Ostung Twister. Pad Kid.

Poured. Curd. Pulled. Cod. Blake Lazarus. Bagadoo. Bob Big Zombie Energy Buell. Brad Hilde.

Breg Deg Meggs. Brian Dodd. Brownlee's Druthers. Chuck. Cameron Bradley. Chasen Bales. Christian Basketball. He loves that basketball.

He does. Connor Finnegan. Curbature. Damien the Crush. Damien Kirk. Daniel Bonney. Daniel Rough and Tough Clough. That's a new one. That's a new one.

That's a new patron. Welcome. Eric Crust. Fancy Octopus. Felicity Britton. Fiona Davis Esquire. New patron. Hello. Welcome. Garrett Glasbergen. Greg Berg. Hallie. Hot Dog. Holly. Isaac Puff.

Jake the Snake Raddiff. Jake Knight. Jake Ullman. Jamie Poncia. Jared. Jesse Tipton. Jibe Gosley. Jimmy Song Laugh. New patron welcome. John Phelps. I think new patron. Jonah Sanchez. Jub FPV. Caleb Lester. Katie Ross. Kevin Sunt. Kinsey Wass. Kinsey also DM me on Instagram if that's incorrect I'm dumb Kerwin Lauren Malang Mark Priest Matt ran out of last names that rhyme with hasty

Matthew Lizama Michael Rowland Mikey Mike and the Funky Bunch For the love of all things Chine Will someone please just hire Nolan Murphy Much to my sugar And I love that there's like a for the love of all things chine will someone please just hire nolan murphy much to my sugar and i love that there's like a dialogue happening in these yeah nate porteous here we go nolan murphy is considering running for the senate so he can be

nolan murphy is considering running for senate so he could become VP. That's more likely than him getting another job. P. Phoenix McVernon. Rooster Williams, new patron. Sabrina. Sam Adams. Sam Armstrong. Sarah Kilduff.

Slick Ricky. Space Ant. Spencer. Stefan. Stephanie Cass. Steve Fowler. Oh my fucking God, man. Theo Giesen.

T-R-A-K-A Glee of Wee Divers. Tyler Ray Hawkins. Will Benitez. Xander Madsen. Yarrow Bouchard. So thank you guys all for supporting us

at the highest tier. If you would also like access to all the bonus content on our Patreon, you can subscribe at patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. We'll meet again. Don't know where. Next Tuesday.

Don't know when. With a wren. Some. Close us out. I'm waiting for you. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks for listening. Arrivederci.

That was a Hiddem Original.