Review Revue - Thrift Stores (w/ Carl Tart & Lamar Woods!)

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

XOXO Gossip King's own Carl Tart and Lamar Woods join Reilly and Alf and kill RDJ. Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit Twitter: @reilecoyote  Join the discord here! <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/REVIEWREVUE and get on your way to being your best self.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. I don't really listen to the podcast, so apologies. Jeffrey James' massive wagon, Riley and Spaz laugh.

Having sex with Kit Kat bars and single cheese from Kraft Douchebag Yankee candles, trips to sandals with Jeff Gross Your dog muffin lets you down when you need him most. There it is again, that funny podcast, that funny podcast That funny podcast Terrifying piggy banks Rodney's monster voice French waiters Outweather spoons Sir LaTobb's choice

Day and night time Nancy Soap that's fancy Jeff's sad life How about you do not ever Stop dating your wife A special Christmas drink For Knoxburg to imbibe Paying 1,200 robots to subscribe Riley says hi Jeff, we eat too which Jeffery replies, of course. Buy yourself a hat that says your parents divorce.

There it is again, that funny podcast. That funny podcast, that funny podcast There it is again That funny podcast, that funny podcast Riley voted for Joe Biden Jeff said stop the steal Why do you need wiper blades for

the Batmobile Poking holes in robbers, Jeffrey blubbers to his end Because his brand new Oxford shirt doesn't match his chance There it is again, that funny podcast That funny podcast

There it is again. That funny podcast. That funny podcast. Hey, what can you say? It'll be over soon, UA Hey, what can you say? It's review, review It'll be over soon, UA Marty, Marty, Marty, Marty, Marty Hey, what can you say? It's review, review It'll be over soon Hey, what can you say?

It's review, review It'll be over soon Hey, what can you say? It's review, review. But it'll be over soon. Ooh, we got a little Bo Burnham for your Thursday. In case anyone was wondering, that was submitted September 24th, the year of our Lord 2021.

Oh, good. Yeah, Max, of our Lord 2021. Um, yeah, Max, thank you so much. Um, I want to, he wants to shout out, uh, spa water music, uh, which is the Twitter and Instagram handle. Um, and you did send us three emails, Max telling us to use the theme song. And so who better to play it for than our very special guests who I, this is such, I feel like such a nerd. I'm so excited. I mean, like, actors, writers, comedians, funny people.

If you've ever gotten a laugh, it's probably from these two gentlemen. You know them either from writing on or being in Grand Crew. But, I mean, the thing that I, it's crazy to see you guys because I listen to you in my car. The Gossip Kings themselves. We have Carl Tartt and Lamar Woods here with us. Wow. Thank you so much.

Thank you. We are so excited to have you here. What is new? How is your Thursday? Thursday's going good. My trainer canceled on me this morning and that's always a great day. That's such a good feeling. What was his excuse? Did he just say he's tired? To be fair to him, he's moving right now. And so I have like a lot of stuff to do today. So I hit him up yesterday and was like, yo,

tomorrow's time might have to change, but I'll let you know if it does. If I don't hit you up, that means we'll be in the same spot. And he was like, okay, sounds good. And then he hit me up like an hour before, like an hour and a half before I was supposed to come in. And I was like, yeah, I'm coming. I never hit you up. I'm coming. But I was also in the bed like, damn, man.

Of course, I don't feel like working out. But I was like, yeah, I'm coming because, you know, you got to do it and then he was like actually i'm gonna be real with you it's it's gonna be real tough for me to get over there by 11 and i was like hell yeah all good man do what you got no i'm already there i'm like so ready to work out are you kidding me i still have my sleep mask on texting justing just from sense memory. You're like, no, dude. It was a great thing to hear that I didn't have to go in today. That's gorgeous.

What a way to start the day. Canceled plans feel amazing. And especially when canceled workout plans. Oh, my gosh. A canceled. Today was leg day. And like, we're like every week we go heavier. And so he was like, today, deadlift. Gonna be a lot heavier. And so he's like, today, deadlift.

Going to be a lot heavier. And then he's like, I can't do it, man. I'm like, I thank the Lord. That's awesome. Lamar, what's new with you? I had therapy. She did not cancel. But I feel real vulnerable.

I just came straight from there, just to this Zoom right now. You're crying. Yeah, yeah. That's not good. But I'm feeling good. I feel refreshed. We had a good session. We talked a lot about this life and what is to come and what might not come.

I love that. Yeah, but I feel great. I'm going to do some push-ups too later. Let's get it in. Hell yeah. Alf, have you talked about life today this life or the next for what's to come um not really i i've been kind of zoned out i went on a walk earlier uh full transparency we recorded an episode this morning um and then i went on a

walk and the first i was like i'll walk 20 minutes in one direction i'll turn around i'll walk 20 minutes back uh for context, I live in Chicago. I'm in Chicago. It's winter. Oh, cool. It's cold as shit. The first half of the walk was fine. I turn around and now the wind, I didn't realize that the wind had been in my back the entire

time. So then I had to walk 20 minutes just like blasting into my eyes. So my skin hurts. My face hurts. Alfred, I don't know if you know this, but Chicago's the Windy City. I have heard that. This is blowing his mind.

Holy shit. That explains so much. It's called that because of the politicians, am I right? They're always changing their points of views all the time and you've always said that carl you've always said that yeah so i'm warming up luckily the room that i'm uh recording in the heating doesn't go into this room so it's cold as

fuck but that's fine oh thank god luckily it's cold as shit i'll warm up from the joy and the and the merrymaking that we're about to do. I love that. How about you, Riley? Sorry, I feel like you asked everybody how they were doing and then I just kind of wanted to move on. Truly nothing. I did dishes. I paid some medical bills and I ate chocolate chips from a bag. So that's kind of my first day.

But thanks to Jeffrey James, I now put that bag in the fridge, Lamar. I now put that bag in the fridge. Lamar, I put the chocolate chips in the fridge because the chocolate chips are a little bit cold. Yeah. There's nothing like it. There's nothing like it. That sounds delicious. Yeah.

And crunchy. My dad loves chocolate chip cookies. Let me ask you a question if this is not too personal. When you pay medical bills, do you pay it? I feel like those are one bills that I get a lot and I just never, I never pay. Do they come after you? What happens when you don't pay? I guess what happens is like, it's like, you need to pay by this date.

I'm like, oh, I'll do it. Future Ellie will do it. Future Ellie will do it. And then I really come creeping on close to that date. And I just see like a stack of things that it's like, you know, I went to a dermatologist and then I broke my toe in the winter or in the fall. And so it's like I'm like, hmm. And so then it is just kind of 30 minutes of of doing it all in one go.

Yeah, that hurts. And you really feel it. That's what I do. Stop money going out. It's not like the Internet where it like cuts off, like where you're like, if I don't pay, this is going to shut off. It's like I wait to have to wait until I hurt myself again. Yep. Speaking of paying for things,

for better or for worse, we're not here to talk about medical bills. We're not here to talk about chocolate chips from a bag, although I could all day. We're here to talk about a topic that you guys chose that I'm excited to hear why. We're talking thrift stores today. Talk about it. Experiences with thrift stores today. Talk about it.

Experiences with thrift stores. Why'd you pick it? Okay. Well, I have some strong opinions about thrift stores. Some that may get me canceled. They may get me right up out of here. Oh, shit. I don't like Goodwill's practices.

As a thrift store, I think they take people's clothes and they sell them when we should all just be donating our stuff. That's what I try to do. Wait, how do we define thrift store real quick? Because what qualifies as a thrift store? Like, a Goodwill is a thrift store. I call Goodwill a thrift store. I would say it's a thrift store. Secondhand clothes and stuff like that.

Okay. I don't think I know what a thrift store is. I think most... You have reviews for, like, an arcade. I don't think i know what a thrift store is i think most you have reviews for like an arcade i just found something like it counts as a thrift store if they're like getting most of their stock it's like second hand from donations is what i think like okay and yeah that makes sense goodwillwill is definitely at their store. Definitely charges kind of insane amounts for things that were ultimately donated a lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of messed up.

Crossroads, too. Like, yeah, charge a lot of money at those places. I've gone in there to look for like vintage tees and stuff like that. But also now here's what's going to give me cancer. Right. Carl, first, yes, we can take it off the air. Are you brave enough to say it on air right now? Yeah, it's fine.

I'm not scared of America. What are you going to do to me? All right? I get skeeved out by secondhand clothes. That's just me personally. That ain't, like, I don't know what those people did in those clothes. You know what I'm saying? I don't like anything secondhand.

Washington won't help. Yeah, Washington don't help me really. It has to be something that's like, when I shop on eBay, I'll buy stuff if it's some type of sports. Sometimes you'll find, I'm a big Clipper fan, and sometimes I'll go in there

and just look like, Clippers practice jersey. Some player who played on their summer league team or something like that has put his jersey on eBay because he probably has fallen on times where he needs the money. Or whatever. I don't care. None of my business.

I'll take that and watch that. But as far as just like, here's a pair of slacks and here's a suit jacket. A suit jacket is always the one that I'm like, I do not want to wear somebody else's suit jacket. I feel like every suit jacket in the in the goodwill somebody has died in i oh interesting wow i die in suits i own two jackets that i know for a fact belong to a man who

died that's really cool because i went i was walking down the street one day a couple summers ago in chicago and a woman was like come inside i'm selling stuff i'm i was walking down the street one day a couple summers ago in chicago and a woman was like come inside i'm selling stuff i'm i'm like moving i'm selling stuff it was kind of like a garage sale or whatever i go into her house and she like takes me into her closet her like walk-in closet and she basically just starts ragging on her dead husband and she's like he's a piece of shit i always bought him clothes and he never fucking wore them so we got all these clothes he never even wore just rotting in here and it's like now he's dead we're selling the house do you want him and so i like they were like i guess this guy was my size so i bought like two or three of

these like really nice jackets but i like felt comforted by the fact that she said like he never wore this shit never wore because i feel like okay so it's not like he probably the odds that he died in this is probably pretty slim you you know, because he wasn't wearing it. Wow. I know that nobody has really died in the suits. And I know that some people are like, well, some people have to shop. I'm like, first of all, first of all, those people, shut up. I just want to say shut up to you.

That's all I want to say to you. I mean, I mean, I mean this in the most respect I can possibly say then shut the fuck up with that being said this is just me personally thrift stores have a smell that I can't quite get over yeah oh interesting I just can't move past it did you wear clothes when we did the sketches and stuff that's why I would get all my sketch clothes like I wear just jackets and shit like that i would try my best to not but sometimes i would sometimes i would have to i've shown everything in my power to have that not me yes yeah yeah like i have a i have a pair of scrubs that i got from a store they're brand new scrubs scrubs pre-g uh i have those scrubs i would try to write myself as a nurse in all the sketches just so I don't have to change costumes.

I don't have to go to a thrift store. And other than that, I would just, you know, I would make it up as I go. I just can't do it. I can't do it. I understand that. I understand that. But I also understand. It's like I totally know what you mean, Lamar, with sketch because it's like you could be any.

That's why it's like I totally know what you mean Lamar like with sketch because it's like you could be any that's why it's like I'm cleaning out my closet right now and I'm really bad because they're like doing sketch doing comedy it's like

oh well but what if I make a character who wears this something I haven't even looked at in like three years and it's like horrible it's like I've never

even seen this before and I'm like but maybe for my SNL tape I could be this kind of girl yeah it could be anybody like they have all these like crazy designs you could just pick up crazy shit SNL tape, I could be this kind of girl. Yeah. It could be anybody. It could be anybody. But then like thrift stores, you could just

pick up crazy shit for, you know, so I get it. And it's quick and fast, and I usually don't think about it to the last minute like right before the show, and then I put something together, but it always works out. But yeah, I hear you, Carl. Wait, why do you feel like you'll be canceled? Just because people, for poor people?

Yeah, you know, people nowadays, like, I could see somebody getting offended by the fact that I said I can't shop at a place. As if I am them. But I, alas, am not them. I am me. And I personally don't like to shop at places, at those type of places. I like to go in and look, see, maybe, you know, I bought, like I said, the practice jersey thing. If I have like a basketball league or something like that, and I need like a jersey instead

of going to Dick's Sporting Goods and paying, you know, seven, 60 bucks for a blank jersey. Let me just go into Goodwill and see if I can find one that fits that that's reversible and stuff. I'll, I'll do that. And I'm not, i'm not totally against it i it just it is never my first choice and i understand that that is where people have to get clothes from sometime i also grew up wearing hand-me-downs from cousins and things like that but those are my cousins you know where they've been i know i know where they've been if they

if they've shit in those pants that's my cousin's shit that's family's shit I don't want stranger shit stranger shit is way more gross I used to go what about those places like you go to the flea market or like Los Feliz has a flea market

on Saturday and people are selling clothes out of their little booth. What about that? Y'all into that? Yeah. Is that too hand-me-down? I haven't been to one of those in a long time, but I've gotten some good stuff from there.

I've also, I mean, I actually, I feel like, I don't know, I have a couple friends of mine who get some really good shit from thrift stores. Like, they'll be going out and I'll be like, oh my God, this whole outfit is amazing. And they're like, like oh yeah i got this shirt at one place i got this these pants

at whatever and i'm like that's incredible and whenever i go to a thrift store looking for like cool clothes yeah i can't find either i can't find anything or i just don't have the eye to like style it a certain way i'm like am i just a fucking idiot? And I can't find it. No, there seems to be like a skill to it. I'm like, well, here's a shirt with a dog on it. I was just gonna say, I feel like it also depends. Like I'm lucky that I have like a very weird body. I have like a very strange. Speak on that.

Well, I've got like very long arms. Like I have like a short body, but long legs. So like the kind of clothes that I wear. Kind of like the Grinch vibe. Yeah, I sort of like Slenderman. No, but like I have a strange proportions and like I feel like a lot of the times I go into thrift stores and it's like there's good stuff for me because nobody else is buying it because it wouldn't fit. And like it's like a thing where there's like less for me. It's meant for you.

There's less for me to choose from. But at the same time, what I can choose from is less picked over if i just like had a normally like proportion body you know there would be i also think that stuff stuff from thrift stores just like and i sound like an old man when i say this but like it it just is better quality like they don't make it like they used to like i have shirts that i bought new that like i washed three times and they're like they you know are thin and I can barely wear them and then I've got shit that I bought from a thrift store in high school that I still wear sure because it like holds up and like doesn't deteriorate because it was made in

the 90s I do have this yeah one shirt that I bought that has uh Mr. Rogers on it and it's like now that you say that I'm like that shirt has lasted a lot out live it can be passed down for a reason like there's clothes like there's this one sweater I'm like, that shirt has lived all of my outfits. It can be passed down for a reason. There's one sweater I have in mind that I remember buying from a Walmart 12 years ago, and it's still in good shape. Whereas if I bought

that same sweater from a Walmart today, it would fall apart in three wash and dry cycles. Interesting. So you think they've changed the quality on their clothes? I like Walmart a lot. I used to. canceled I'm gonna cancel for saying I don't like Walmart sponsored by athletic nice. Who, should we do it? Can I kick us off? Please.

Because I found some that I, there were a lot that I couldn't decide between because I love them so much. So the vibe I got from, I was looking at a bunch of different stores and the vibe I got was like, so Jeff and I, when Jeff is a co-host, Rip. I told you not to bring him up anymore we did an episode on bergain which is um for those of you who don't

know what bergain is uh those of you listening it is a club that is like famously like the most hard club to get into in berlin because it's just based on vibe and a lot of that i got those vibes in these reviews especially because a lot of people like selling clothes or donating clothes. And they're like, I brought this whole bag of stuff and only two things got picked. But I think I have really good clothes, so it's just about taste.

And so just people realizing that maybe their clothes weren't great. And that's why they didn't get picked. This is a review, one-star review from Azaya S. Carl, can we get a last name for Azaya S? Azaya S. Her last name is Shringleding. Azaya Shringleding. This is a review of Buffalo Exchange in LA. One star. Don't waste your time selling your clothes here. You're better off selling online or donating goodwill. I brought in two full bags of clothes in good condition. A lot of clothes still had tags on them. The workers seem pissed when you bring in a lot of clothes and don't want to go through them all so they rush. They refused all the clothes I bought except for two clothing

items. Not only that, but I feel like the store buyers are biased and only pick the items that they would wear. Save yourself the time and gas. I'd never shop here again. I love the image of being like, they're just being for themselves. They're like, that's really cool. It's like, we have some perfect condition. No, but I don't like that color. What?

That's hilarious. It looks good, but it wouldn't fit me. It wouldn't, that's not, I'm not, such a size 12, I can't wear that. I've heard that before about stores like that, that buy clothes. Really? I've heard that they definitely, I mean, let's be honest here.

Would you really want to go through somebody's big-ass bag of clothes and name prices for them? No. And if I found something I would wear, I would take it. I wouldn't... I'm bringing in a five-pound bag. Hey,

excuse me. Hello? Hey, what's up? Hi, I'm Clara. Nice to meet you. I just went through like a big closet haul. And so lucky for you guys, I have a giant bag. So I'm sure you'll be thrilled to take all these clothes. So let me know how much you're going to give me for all of these amazing clothes that I'm dropping off at the store. Yeah, just throw it up on the counter.

I'll start going through it. Huh. Yeah, no. I mean, this is pretty good quality. No stains. I know. I made sure they were all in perfect condition. Some of them are brand new.

Some of them I've never even worn. Can you believe that? Never even worn. Kind of tacky, though, so it's a no. What's this one? Oh, it's pretty nice. Yeah. I could see you wearing that, but I think I'm going to have to pass on that.

Ooh. Sorry. These are all really, I paid a lot of money for these clothes. Sure. So. When? How long is this going to take? This line is so long that I got to get to my dentist appointment.

I'm so sorry. I was so sorry, sir. I was just expecting this to go a little bit faster. Man, they got that big ass bag of clothes, man. Hurry up. Hurry up. I'm sorry, sir. I wanted to tell you, you know, it's first come, first serve.

She was here first. I have to go through her stuff first. I'm not in a rush. If you want to go ahead of me, I see you have a couple of things. And if you want to go ahead, that is totally fine. Oh, that at a time. You know, it's first come, first serve. She was here first. I have to go through her stuff first. I'm not in a rush. If you want to go ahead of me, I see you have a couple of things. And if you want to go ahead, that is totally fine. Oh, that's real nice. That's nice. You know, I got to get my braces.

And also, I'm like, you know. How old are you? No offense. I know adult braces are, that's common, I think. I'm 55 years old. Oh, congratulations. You look great. You look great, man.

You look amazing. Not my teeth, though. I didn't say that. You look great. You look great, man. You look amazing. Not my teeth, though. I didn't say that. You said that. I didn't say that. Yeah, it's okay for me to make fun of him. But check out these clothes, man. I got some cool little T-shirts and jeans.

I think you would like this. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, you have really good taste, man. You have really good taste. Wow. Yeah, man. I have really good taste. Wow. Yeah, man. You know, I used to work for Saks Fifth back in the day, you know, when I was a young boy. Wow.

Excuse me. How long is this going to take? I'm a dentist. Oh, my God. I'm a dentist, and I have appointments to get to, and I'm trying to sell these clothes to buy new dental equipment. First come, first serve. Like, wait a minute. You should already have that, I feel like.

You shouldn't need to. I'm sorry. Ever heard of the American health care system? Okay. You're right. I hear that. Okay. Do you?

I'm sure you've had a teacher that used to have to buy school supplies for their class. Absolutely. Well, I'm a dentist, and I got to get certain tools. Okay. That makes total sense. You know, it's first come, first serve. You're backtracking really quickly no I'm just like I don't know

what do you do for a living huh I have a lot of respect for dentists I'm an illustrator I illustrate children's books oh wow that's noble thank you so much I love kids and so actually I'm selling all these clothes because I made so much money

from my last book we got published by Penguin so why are you selling your clothes if you made so much money from my last book. We got published by Penguin. So why are you selling your clothes if you're so rich? What's the point? Because this is my way. I want to get money back from these clothes to help pitch my next book that I'm working on for the kids. It's all for the kids. Okay. Sir, with

the messed up teeth, I'll give you like Oh, hey. Sorry. You didn't say your name or anything. It's just like, no, that's like what kind of sets you apart. You could have just been like, oh, hey, you in the front of the line. You don't have to say like, oh, you meant the messed up teeth. The oldest guy in line. Do you want

what's like $200 for everything? Or $100 in-store credit? Sir, you're a dentist, right? Yes, I am. How much are braces? I'm going to the dentist to get some braces real quick. Well, what type of insurance do you have? I don't have any of that. Any insurance?

Well, it's going to be at least $2,500 out of pocket. $2,500 to $5,000. Sir, can you give me $2,500 for these clothes? That's a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. This t-shirt was made in the old days where they used to make things for real. Made in the old days? What year was it made? What do you consider old days?

The old days. This t-shirt was made in 1937. Oh, my God. 1937. Wow. You're still in here at a crossroads. Man, you can't even iron this. You literally have to throw this shirt off the roof of a house for it to get the wrinkles out.

Oh, my God. It's crazy. Not a stain on it. I love that. Give that shirt to the Smithsonian. Yeah. Was that passed down in your family? How did you get a shirt from 1937 and you're just going to give it to this jackass here at a crossroads?

Unnecessary. Yeah. My grandfather, he wore it during the First World War. Or the Second World War. Holy shit. Yeah. Wow. The Second World War. I mean, now that I have the backstory, it's like, I could probably do like $350,000.

$350,000? $350,000. He came up. I would take off two braces for $350,000. For real? Yeah. Okay. Like, if you just want the $350. For real? Yeah. Okay. Like if you just want the front two teeth taken off?

Yeah. I'll do that. Pick your two most messed up teeth. All right. That sounds like a deal. But I'm going to talk to my own dentist about it that I'm going to go see. For sure. I appreciate this whole collection of people that are helping me out with my confidence today.

But I'm going to go in there real, real, real fly now. I'm going to buy a couple of things from you. Got a nice little backpack right there. I think I might take one of those, Miss Lady. Oh, sure. Again, this is because I've had a lot of success from the book. Again, not to brag. This is a Gucci backpack.

And so, again, I didn't realize that Crossroads had this much money to to buy clothes with so i'm feeling pretty good about my bag right now i'm not gonna lie so how much do you think sir how much this is gonna go for this whole bag how much you're gonna go for it's not that's no way that's real gucci man i'll give you like 30 bucks this guy is a jackass. Knock off Gucci, 30 bucks? I haven't even got to your stuff, man. You don't know if I'm a... Come on. Yeah, what did you bring, dentist? Yeah, show us what you got.

Oh, now everybody wants to see my ass. Are you buying or selling? DDS, let's go. I'm selling. All right, let's see. My name is Glenn Farbad. No, he's pitching. Okay, Glenn.

Hello. Why are you here? Hello, sharks. My name is Glenn Farbad. No, he's pitching. Okay, Glenn. Hello. Why are you here? Hello, Sharks. My name is Glenn Farbad. Uh-huh. Boy, DDS. Glenn Farbad, DDS. Please say DDS.

Yes, DDS. And I have a bag of clothes for you. Okay? Okay. I'm listening. Let me just give you a little backstory. Sure. It was 1991. I graduated at the top of my class from Central Michigan University's School of Dentistry.

Congratulations. Thank you so much. Now, I'm asking for $1,000 and 10% of this company. Whoa. Oh, my God. 10% of Crossroads? Of Crossroads. I don't think he's qualified to do this kind of business.

Because he's a jackass. Don't speak for me. You don't know. I could be the CEO. It could be undercover boss. You don't fucking know. Most CEOs are jackasses. Excuse me. My name is Mark Cuban. My car broke down outside. I just wanted to step into this crossroad to see if I can use your phone real quick.

I'll be really in and out. Mark Cuban doesn't have a cell phone? No, I don't use cell phones. That's how you waste all your money on those cell phone bills. You have to speak. If you want to speak to me, you gotta find me in person. Yeah, just hit 07 and then you can dial outside numbers. 07?

Okay. 07, then type the number. Okay. While I'm doing this, nobody pitch me any ideas for business. Okay. Sorry. Mr. I already forgot your last name. Dentist, sir? DDS.

DDS. Mr. DDS, do you want to keep your pitch going? Or, you know, Mark Cuban. Well, I actually, if he's done, I might not need to sell my clothes. I have an amazing new children's book Mr. Cuban I don't know if you're into publishing at all but it's a really delightful heartwarming story

you won't believe it there's like a little goldfish and he's swimming around in this bowl and he keeps forgetting his own name and so his owner has to keep putting a little post-it note on the bowl excuse me let me just I'll be right with you ma'am

I want to hear this idea what are you saying are you saying the entire Dallas Mavericks were killed in a bus accident oh my god

I have to go I have to go I gotta get out of here I lost my entire franchise I have to leave but I'll be back

you're gonna come back to this why would you come back man I don't know you guys seem like a fun bunch hey thanks I try and cultivate like a really good vibe in here like I appreciate that like you know a lot of people don't understand

like how much work goes into like you know stocking a store like this and people come in and think they can just give you any old shit and like you'll buy it and like I just how good are you at playing basketball do you like to throw the ball around yeah i'd say i like to throw the ball around i you know i i'm not i'm not necessarily good but i got a little heart if i put you in charge you think you could put a team together for me oh for sure yeah all right why don't you put a team together you have five six uh

whatever however many people are on a basketball team together. Okay, yeah. You don't know? Mark. They don't pay me for that kind of stuff. That's exactly what they pay you for. That's your whole. Bring your team together, and we'll turn you guys into the next franchise. How's that sound?

Sounds great. What's the salary cap that we're working with? How much can I pay? Can I offer the players? Oh, let's see here. So I was playing Mavericks. Who was my star in the Mavericks? Was it Luka?

Luka Doncic. You don't know? You don't know how many people are on a team? You don't know who your star player is? Luka Doncic has a four-year, $250 million contract. This dentist knows all of the stats that you don't know. I work on everybody's teeth. I'm a dentist to the stars.

Did you work on Luka's teeth? I did look on Luka's teeth. Wow. Yeah, I should tell you that he's dead. Shit. Well, I would know. I'm going to have his dental records. They're going to come asking me soon.

Cut to you getting the dental records in the office. Okay. Doctor, we do have the – we have Luca's dental records. I'm so sorry if this is how you're finding out that he passed. Yeah. You can't identify the body, I'm assuming. You need – We need you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. The whole team, I think there was some kind of crash. And so we know that all of them are dead. And so we just want to make sure that you're able to identify. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Luca's the only one. I mean, I only really do.

So I'm a dentist to the stars. So I only really do, like, the starters on the team. So, like, the bench writers, I don't know. I'm not going to be. And, you know, as your assistant, you do tell me this every single day. And I know you're a dentist to the stars. Oh, did you know I was a dentist to the stars? Yep.

Yes. I help schedule all your appointments. And you're very good at what you do can i ask you something you i listen i understand that i may be as i'm gonna speak off the record for a little bit okay i know that i'm i can be at my own ass a little bit in an operation in a wisdom teeth operation happening right right under i can be at my own ass okay don. Don't say that. Don't say that. I haven't asked you. How is your life? I know that you recently had, I know you recently went through a breakup.

Yeah. You had to move out. You were the one that had to move out even though you found the apartment. You're so thoughtful to bring that up. Thank you. I didn't realize that you remembered all that. I remembered. I remembered.

I know I don't talk about it a lot. I can be up my own ass. I can be right up my own ass. But tell me about you oh hold on um this guy's waking up i was not go back to sleep go back to sleep my teeth are falling out of my mouth i'm gonna put him back i'm a dentist dentist of the stars damn ro Robert Downey Jr. waking up in the middle of... He's so immune to the drugs that we put him on. That's crazy. Anyway, how's the breakup?

Yeah, breakup was bad, but I feel like I'm going to step out. Not for any reason. I think I may need to call some people. Who? The Mavericks? The Mavericks? Yes, yes, yes. The Mavericks? But you... Yes, yes, yes. The Mavericks organization?

Yeah. You, Stahan, I think that you should finish this surgery. Yeah. Because that is your job. I know you're saying... You said... I'm quoting you.

I'm not saying this. You said you can be up your own ass. I can be up my own ass. You can be up your own ass. I can be up my own ass. But I want to know. Don't... Listen, Shelly.

It's me. It's me. Start to cry a little bit it's Dr. Glenn are you crying? nope here have some laughing gas turn that frown upside down that's really nice

thank you now the breakup was devastating he took the dog yeah he took the dog. Oh my God. It was awful. It was so fucking bad. I slept into the worst depression I've ever had in my entire life.

I really did. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. Oh, it's been really bad. And he won't even send me photos to let me see anything. Thank you so much. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's ridiculous.

Thank you so much for asking. I'm glad that you could vent out to me. I am a dentist to the stars, but I'm also a caring human being and a friend. You can call me a friend. Matter of fact, don't even call me doctor no more. Just call me Glenn. Oh, that's very nice.

Glenn. It feels so weird. Yeah. Robert Downey Jr. Flatlines. Oh, wait. He shake his ass. Wake your ass up. Robert Downey Jr. flatlines oh wait he shake his ass wake your ass up wake your ass up Robert Downey Jr. Robert Downey Jr.'s funeral

man it's so crazy you know at work as playing as Kevin Feige I never thought you know killing Iron Man in real life would actually happen. And now our actual Iron Man is gone from apparently at a dentist. You just never know what's going to happen.

It was me. I'm here. Everyone's like, what the fuck? What is he doing here? That's right. That's right. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

Everybody look at me. You're looking at the face of a damn murderer. But I'm also a dentist to the stars. It's me. Mark Ruff. Holy shit. You're a dentist to the stars. Dentist to the stars.

Oh my god. I didn't mean to do it. Involuntary manslaughter is what the case was. Did I hear that Mark Ruffalo was trying to speak up? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Mark Ruffalo's here and I defend the dentist

of the stars and I don't think he should be held accountable for what happened. I think there's a lot of other factors going on that we don't know about until the trial is finished.

I just want to say that. Like what? What other factors? He died in the chair. I think he was punched out first and then the anesthesiologist kind of left. I had to get a new chair too. I sent that one chair to the Goodwill. I had to get a brand new chair

because people don't want to... He's bringing in the chair Robert Downey Jr. died in. Do you have a hand with that, sir? I got it. I got it. I'm going to do it to the stars. I'm strong. Okay, sure.

It looks heavy. Okay, sure. Whoa. How you doing? I'm all right. How are you doing? Good, good, good, good, good. Hey, Dr. Glenn Dennis to the stars, DDS.

Nice to meet you, man. The S stands for stars in my DD and a doctor of dental stars. Yes. Okay. Okay, cool. My name's Mike. Good to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Mike. Take my card. Maybe you got, you got a face for, for the camera. You might blow up one day. Okay.

But only if I get famous, then I can reach out, but I'm not famous, but I'm saying you, are you a working actor? Uh, are you, I get famous, then I can reach out. But I'm not allowed to until... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait till you get famous. But I'm saying, are you a working actor? I mean... Are you auditioning? I'm an actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got a face. Am I working? I don't know. You're a beautiful man, Mike. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Mike, this is a chair that I'm donating. And I did want to get a tax refund off of it, so if you could write me a...

Yeah, we don't... I'm going to ask you a question. I want you to think about it really carefully. So we're not technically allowed to take used medical equipment. Really? And now this chair looks a lot like a chair you might have at your office or something. Is that blood? Is there blood on the chair?

No, that's spaghetti sauce. This chair was at my house. This chair... Oh, okay. This is a dinner chair. This chair was at my house. This chair. Oh, okay. This is a dinner chair. I had this at the dinner table. Oh. That's an interesting aesthetic.

So if you could just get your receipt book out, write me a receipt for maybe, I don't know, $20,000. You think this chair was worth $20,000? Oh, it probably was worth more. I didn't buy it for my office, but have heard you know in my dentist circles that chairs can run you upwards of twenty twenty five thousand thirty thousand dollars how about we cut a deal here man um you know i i think we could sort something out um i mean if you look at my if you look at my mouth it's pretty fucked up in there if you could like

at least just do braces on the top I could maybe write you a receipt say this chair was 15 grand Mike this is insane I'm just saying you're a businessman I'm a businessman you do work with the stars

I do work you know with the good will with the stars Mike come on do you want to, with the goodwill. With the stars, Mike. Come on. Do you want to deal or not? Do you need the money or not? Have you even had an under five yet? Have you even had an under five? No.

Yeah. See, you got to at least get a co-star. Come on, man. On that resume, on that IMDbizzle. Yeah. After the Oscars after party, Mike's just completed his EGOT. Yeah. A lot of people said it couldn't be done

a lot of people rooted against me said that I wasn't ever gonna amount to anything but I just want to say I'm happy I proved you wrong Dr. Glenn are you here I am

here I had a feeling you'd be here. You have a way of getting into situations. Do you have anything you want to say? Mark Ruffalo in the back here. Way in the back. I just want to say, y'all need to get off my man DDS. Get off his back. I defend him.

Because there's a lot of other circumstances we don't know about. Mark, man, you have a way of picking losers, and it does not look good. I would back out. Mike, I just want to say I'm sorry for what I said to you. Thank you. On the loading dock of that Goodwill 10 years ago. Here, take my card. Anytime you need any dental work, you come to me, and I'll only charge you full price.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Thank you, guys. Thank you, everybody. That was his speech? That was his speech? Man, that was the longest speech. Thank you, Academy. A cut to the post-rap PR interview.

All right, Academy. A cut to the post-rap PR interview. Flashball. Flashball. Can you tell us about the dentist? Yeah. Are you going to take his card? Are you going to go to his office? I mean, a lot of people already know this about me, but I actually have dentures already.

Take out my full sloppy dentures so i don't really need i don't really need a dentist you know he had he given me the braces what i asked for them 10 years ago we might have you know we might have been able to work together but now it's kind of a it's a done deal so as jeremiah wright with the hollywood reporter i just want to know what is your connection to uh mark Ruffalo? Do you have a relationship with him? That outburst was absolutely insane. Good question. Good question.

We've all been wondering that. I was going to ask that question. Yeah, Mark would actually, he'd come by a lot when I worked at Goodwill about a decade ago. And he'd try and donate some really weird stuff, really freaky stuff that Mark would try and donate. And that was kind of how I knew him. And he's always batted really hard for Dr. Glenn. So I wasn't surprised that he showed up tonight. Vivian Penn from Vanity Fair.

Can you tell us, was this a plant? You know, I have a feeling that this stuff is going to go viral everywhere. So can you be honest? Did you plant this dentist to the stars? know, I have a feeling that this is going to go viral everywhere. So can you be honest? Did you plant the dentist to the stars? I'll be honest. Was that just all off the dome? I'll be honest. I think your whole publication is cynical bullshit.

I think you're saying it's a plant. And I think that's I think that's I mean, that's indicative of you and your whole your whole. I think it's a fair question, given how much of a spectacle that was. I mean, I think if I'm right, everybody, if we all check our notes, that was the longest acceptance speech in the history of the Academy Awards. And it was the longest because people were watching, and that's what I would say to that. I would say they could have cut away and they didn't,

and I think we all know why. This is Sarah Stark from the YouTube channel, The Take, where I do takes on things. Now this is real journalism. Take notes, Vivian. No pun intended. Is that how that works? I would like to say, what do you think of the current movement in this Hollywood of, like, thrift store employees winning Oscars?

So many of them. It just feels like overkill. Everybody, everybody, every thrift store employee is winning an Oscar. They're all doing it. They're all doing it. That's interesting. No experience whatsoever. I don't think anybody was saying it was overkill

when Meryl Streep won her fucking 13th Oscar in a row. So I don't know why it's suddenly overkill that I'm winning an Oscar. I'd say if anyone was a plant, it's suddenly overkill that I'm winning an Oscar. I'd say if anyone was a plant, it's probably you. And this question is coming straight from Dr. Glenn, so that's all I have to say about that one. Mike, Mike, Mike. This is Colonial Pin, Life Insurance Company.

Do you... Great to see you again. Do you have... Are you that black dude? From the commercial? Yeah, to be telling all the old ladies what kind of look. Yes. I love that guy, man.

You know I bought that suit at a Goodwill. You got to solve this position, homie. I bought that suit at a Goodwill. It looks really good. Fits really well for a secondhand suit. Yeah. Dead man suit. If you don't know who I am am you can see me every day on

stations like news nation or uh a and e arts arts and entertainment stations where old people will be at home watching reruns of murder she wrote in a heat of the night i pop up in the middle of those shows and offer life insurance colonial okay jonathan i'm listening all right uh vivian from Vanity Fair again I'm so sorry that wasn't a question so much as a statement and kind of a plug so I just have to ask why was I getting chewed out for asking if it was a plant which is actually a very fair question

and why is he allowed to just take the floor get on a soapbox and give himself a plug I guess if I had to break it down he has charisma he's charming Colonial beard. You see? You got to love that guy.

This is the general from the general insurance company. I have a question. Hey, the fact that I'm animated is irrelevant. Nobody bring that up. Okay. So the best way to get the best insurance is to call the general right now. 1-800-GENERAL. Ask for the general. Okay.

And the question? Gotta go. We cut to the governor's ball. Mike is socializing with the elite, the coastal elite. Mike. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. You know, I mean, it's nice to be at the top.

Yeah. My name is Lin-Manuel Miranda. I was wondering, have you ever thought about, well, you have because you got your EGOT tonight. So you have been in a musical because you already got the T. Yes. Tonight was the O but have you ever have you ever shopped at a at a second hand store like before you

before you bought before you worked there did you ever shop there? yeah a little bit I wouldn't say it was like my main place where I would get stuff but I would go in occasionally but then once I worked there, it was, you know,

a bigger deal. Wow. Reason why I'm asking you this is because I'm working on a new musical called Michael. Michael. It's about you. It's about your life. You're fucking with me,

man. There's no way I'm not. The story is amazing. Wow. That, I mean, I don't, you know, you kind of have a reputation for writing yourself as the lead and everything. I don't want to be presumptuous, but do you want me to be in it?

Play myself? Or are you thinking you'll do that? God, no. I'm going to do that. Okay, that's what I thought you were going to play me. Back to the opening night of Michaelton. The opening number, lights down, curtains up. I'm so excited about this. I love my thing. Oh, my God. It has all the hype, of Michael 10. The opening number, lights down, curtains up. I'm so excited about this.

I love my thing. Oh, my God. All the hype, all the hype. I gotta get out of here. Better be good, eh? I left my underwear out. He wrote a musical about me. My name is Michael 10.

I work at a Goodwill. He works at a Goodwill. He works at a Goodwill. Goodwill. Michaelton. I don't know how to feel. He don't know how to feel. Cut to notes after the first. Okay, okay.

Well, one's under the belt. We'll say that. One's like, give it up, guys. We did a show. We did a show. That was great. You did a show. You did a show.

I'm sorry, Rachel? Rachel. Yes. Yeah. You made me rhyme well with feel. Sure. Now, I understand that I have a southern accent and so the words like that kind of sound the same in certain ways but I was wondering if we could do a punch-up session

on that first on those first two lines um I mean I guess I mean like I collaborate I don't know if you remember it's like this is a Lin-Manuel Miranda show. So it's like to punch that up. I mean, sure. I guess we could do making such a meal out of it. I mean, I get if every does everyone agree we should punch it up. Like, is that crazy? Oh, okay.

Denzel watched it 10 degrees. I'm so glad I left. And Denzel, I'm so glad that you always have to introduce yourself before you speak you know we've been working on the show we've been workshopping the show

for two years and I'm sorry it's like it means a lot I just don't want you to forget who I am nope never will you are one of the most famous

people on the planet it is impossible to forget you mom you all love me yes yes we do thank you for reminding us alright well if anyone has any punch ups

for rhyming Will with feel I'm happy to take them and pass them on to Lynn how about Will with still Will with still yeah that's pretty good

alright anyone else this feels kind of arbitrary but I guess we'll do it Yeah, that's pretty good. All right. Anyone else? This feels kind of arbitrary, but I guess we'll do it. Any other suggestions? Let's just see how Will and Steel goes tomorrow night. I'm in. Cut to that performance. Oh, I'm so excited.

I hope this is good. I heard they changed the score. I heard they changed some of the lyrics. I'm really excited to see what happens. I left my bra at home. My name is Michaelton. I work at the Goodwill.

My name is Michaelton. This is my vodka still. Cuts and notes. Okay, so I think we can all agree that that didn't make any sense for the show. I disagree. Denzel Washington loves to punch up. Yep, we know who you are, Denzel.

I am value-added to this production, and I just got to say. Not disagreeing with that. What a great addition I made yesterday. Okay, yes, you made an addition, and we tried it out. And sometimes you try, and it doesn't work. So how about we try something else? Again, this is the last night of previews. What did you say your name was again?

Excuse me, ma'am. Not Rachel. I'm the director. Oh, okay. So what's Lin-Manuel do? What'd you do? Where's Lin-Manuel at? Lin?

Lin's not here. He's not here? Lin wrote the whole show. He wrote the music. He wrote the lyrics. What did Lin do? Lin did the show, Denzel. I'm not going to lie to you, Lin.

Where is he at? I want to know what he thinks about my punch up. I can give him a call. Yeah, you get him in here. You tell him Denzel Washington wants to talk to Lin-Manuel Miranda. All right. Cut to Lin's there. So you two have it out.

So Lynn, I showed you a clip from the show with Will and Still. Lynn, baby. Lynn, baby. It's your boy, Denzel. Yeah, I haven't seen you since Dr. Glenn's office. Oh, man. Have you seen Mark? Man, Mark Ruffalo will not shut up about this, Den.

He loves him. He loves him so much. It's ridiculous. But this director, I can't work with her. She's out of control. up about this. He loves him. He loves him so much. It's ridiculous. But this director, I can't work with her. She's out of control. She won't. I'm right here. Oh, excuse me.

Sorry. You're out of control. You're out of. All right. Thanks for being honest. This is Rachel. No last name needed. The best director in musicals.

Thank you. Okay, Denzel. Now, I know who you are. I've seen all your best films. Virtuosity. Virtuosity. Yeah. Roman J. Israel, Esquire.

That's in my top two films of all time. And what's the other one? That third one that everyone loves. Where I go back in time a lot. Where you go back in time a lot. Where you go back in time? Yeah. Pelican Brief. Nah, that's also a great film, though.

All right. Glenn, does the punch-up work? With Will and still. I don't know what to do. I can't believe my words have been switched around by a plebe like Denzel Washington. Do you want to keep it or change it back to what it was? I'm going to be honest with you.

Would you call me, Len? I didn't like it. I loved it. Oh, my God. Mike, it shows how Mike is a, he makes his own vodka at home. Mike, what do you think about this, Mike? I don't vodka still. Right, right, right.

No, yeah, no. Thank you, Mike. Hey-er. Yeah, I'm just glad you're here. I know you're not part of the play, but I'm glad you're here. Yeah, I mean, I had un-noted. Take the firsthand account.

I had un-noted, Lynn. And again, I'm so grateful that you chose to do this. Like, I'm not trying to disrespect you in any way, but I was just wondering about Glenn as a character. Dr. Glenn felt like he featured a little bit more prominently than maybe I was expecting in my story. You know,

it's called, it's called Michael. That's not called Dr. Glenelton, you know? So I was kind of like, I was, I was a little shocked that he had probably

five or six numbers. Cut to the next, next year's Oscar. And the Oscars goes to, for best theater. I guess we're doing theater now. Best movie musical. Michelson was made

into a movie musical adaptation. Was a movie musical. Goes to Glenn made into a movie musical adaptation. Best movie musical goes to Glenn. Glenn, the DDS. Whoa. Full circle, full circle. Oh my God, this is crazy. I cannot believe this. First of all, thank you to the Academy.

Give glory and honor to Dr. Lipschitz, my dental professor at Central Michigan University. Without him, I would not be here right now. He's doing the acceptance speech for the whole movie. Production team is not out there. It's just him. No, no, no. Sit down.

Sit down. Sit down. Why are you getting up? Mark Ruffalo. You know I always had your back, baby. Mark, sit down. Mark R you getting up? Hey, don't forget to thank your boy, Mark Ruffalo. Yes. You know I always had your back, baby. Mark Ruffalo. Mark, sit down. Mark Ruffalo has had my back through thick and thin. And I will never, ever, ever forget him for that.

Thank you so much. Wow. It all started with one of those water picks and a dream. Cut it there. Water pick. Oh, my God. Holy shit. That was, I think we're going to leave it as one mono scene.

That was such a journey. Should we go to our last segment? Let's do it. This should be all week long holy shit I'm still reeling we went everywhere time and space we made a movie we made a musical

we made a musical movie adaptation it was beautiful and it all started with a waterpik and a dream guys Carl and Lamar what's been shaking your asses for better or for worse what has been your asses for better or for worse? What has been shaking you all worse? We're right there for worse. Tom Hanks and Elvis.

What has been shaking you guys? Okay, for me, I guess I'm just going to talk about this one. It's kind of sad, but it also is very weird. Okay, sadly weird. There's a real real, real, a real conspiracy theory right now going on by an NFL player named DeMar Hamlin.

DeMar Hamlin, for those who don't know, uh, plays for the Buffalo bills and in a Monday and a Monday night game, three weeks ago. Now he, uh, fell backwards and had a heart attack.

He went into cardiac arrest and he was carted off. The game was stopped. And, you know, since then he's recovered and he's, he was at the game this past Sunday, which the bills ended up losing. So they're out of the playoff. But the weird thing is, there's this conspiracy theory going around that people think that he died that day and they've been,

and the NFL to cover it up has been carting around a, a double. Stop it. And so I saw, I saw, I saw a tick tock today where DeMar's pulling up to the, first of all, an article posted a picture of him.

It was like, here's DeMar with his friend having a good time, but he's not wearing a mask and he's in the club and it's probably not really safe to like be in a club in his condition without a mask on because he's immunocompromised considering also this was three weeks ago and when they when they do cpr they break a lot of ribs and stuff but he's now like up back and walking so we've seen pictures of him in the hospital but since they released him from the hospital like he was at the game on sunday but he had a mask on he had shades on he was like carted in through the back and there was like a bunch of like

people blocking him. And, and it was like really weird how they, cause, and, and here's how conspiracy theories will get you. Because when I'm seeing that, I'm like,

why are they like shielding him like that? And he hasn't done an interview. He hasn't been seen, but then it got weird and it got, like, super problematic because they showed Damar's mom and his little brother. And the guy's like, look at that kid. Look at that kid. Look how he's, like, he's trying to smile, but he can't really smile. Oh, no.

Because he's sad because his brother's dead. And that's his mom. And she starts smiling because she has to. And I'm like, wait a minute. Why do they have to? Like, what is this conspiracy? Like, why? And they're like, no games games ever stopped they knew he was dead on the field and nobody and it's just like people are going down this wormhole and it's this is shaking my ass because i'm like guys this is a

this is somebody's life you did like why are you getting so deep into conspiracy theories over this yeah but then also the nfl is can be a terrible organization. I am a supporter of it. I love football. It can be a terrible organization. There were so many other conspiracy theories this week are shaking my ass. Of the various degree because they keep seeing

them. I think my TikTok algorithm is now all conspiracy theories. They're like, oh, this guy loves conspiracy theories. Yeah, yeah. Once you got locked in, you're getting all of them. That's so sad. It's like, because it was so recent. And he and his family, this is like the most,

probably one of the most traumatizing things that this man and his family have ever been through. That's fucking wild. But it is like, it's like the NFL does enough, like, terrible things to the players as an organization. So you don't need to make stuff up about them. Like Weekend at Bernie's, body double bullshit. It's like you could just like the real world example of how they treat the players is like fine.

You don't need to make stuff up. You don't need to make it up. Bizarre. Yeah. That's shaking my ass. That's causing me to twerk. I get it. I get it. Lamar, and what's been shaking your ass. That's causing me to twerk. I get it. I get it. Lamar, and what's been shaking your ass, Lamar, if I may be so bold?

I had all this time to think of something. It's okay. This happens every week. I'll tell you what's shaking my ass is the earthquake the other day. There was an earthquake and I was up all night and I felt it. On a literally was, I was up all night and I felt it.

And I got, but on a positive note, I got to say, I was so afraid of earthquakes before I moved to LA. And I am really proud of how much I'm comfortable with earthquakes.

I mean, look, I don't want no crazy, I'm not asking for an earthquake. You're like, I'm fine with 2.8 and lower. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, just in terms of like how

i imagine it and how long i've been like i was like like it was the first time i felt like hey earthquake yeah like i was like yeah you know like like it wasn't as like when i first moved to la and i felt the earthquake it was the scariest shit in the world i was just like oh my god this is one of those things they're talking about but uh so i just want to say that that's shaking my ass in a good way literally shaking your ass nice alfrini teeny i recently discovered or found finally a place in chicago where i can play squash um squash uh for those of you don't know is a is a is a is a very goofy sport uh but it's the only sport i ever played that i had any kind of natural skill at um for whatever reason like when i was in middle school and high school and stuff i played a bunch of sports did a lot of lots of different stuff and that was the only one

where i ever like was just better than people and so like that feeling was awesome uh and i haven't been able to play since the pandemic because it's like an indoor sport you know and i moved to chicago during the pandemic uh and so i went yesterday and i just hit by myself for like an hour and a half and it was awesome and i was like wow i miss i miss uh being able to like work out and exercise and have it be like a byproduct of the thing that I'm doing. You know what I mean? Like I'm having a good time. I'm doing something I enjoy.

And it's also exercise rather than like, you know, what Carl was talking about with his trainer of sort of like forcing myself out of bed. Like I'm going to exercise for the sake of exercising. It's like I've never been good at that. What's the difference between squash and racquetball? Is that the same thing? That's a great question. They're very similar. So squash is basically the same, except smaller court.

So it's like a smaller box, smaller racquet, smaller ball. And the ball is like that size, and it moves a lot faster, and it doesn't bounce as much. It's been squashed. It's been squashed. But it's a great sport. This Just a candle, by the way. I'm not smoking. Fine, either way.

Hey, we weren't. It looked really cool. It looked like you were turning the human torch for a second. It was crazy. Man, Alfred's story is fucking pissing me off. You hate squash. I'm going to blow a gasket. But yeah, I'm really sore blow a gasket. But yeah,

I'm really sore today, but like, that's okay. What about you, Riley? What's shaking your ass? Oh, and I'm so glad you asked because I definitely have one

on the top of my head. Right, it's like you went last so you had like plenty of fucking time. I did have all this time to think of something. It is,

it's amazing. It's like, you know, when we're banking ups and especially like two in a day, even like in a couple in a week,

I'm like, what's been shaking me? Fuck. It's like in the same week. I'm just like, I feel like Brady Bunch like George Glass. Yeah,

it's my coffee. No, what's been shaking me? Oh my God, guys. I have been using my planner a lot more. Sometimes I'll just forget I have one. And I love the reminder app in my phone.

But then my phone gets so clogged because I have a shit ton of reminders just on my home screen and it sucks. And so this past week, because we've been banking a lot and then I'm working my other jobs as well. And so I've just had a lot of work. I've been using my planner. I've actually been getting shit done. It's amazing when you actually write down the things you need to do and then check them off. It's incredible. And everyone should try it. Easier said than done, Riley. No, easier said than done. And then I forget I have it. And then even the past couple of days, I thought that Tuesday, for example was going to be like the most productive day I have like the entire day just like checklist checklist checklist I got like two of the things done and so then Wednesday I wrote like one thing

and then an arrow that was like do everything from Tuesday and then it's carried over so today recording on Thursday I'm like do everything from Tuesday and Wednesday so you know I have my it varies day to day that That sounds really stressful. Oh, no, it is. You're not selling me on getting a planner. And the best of times, I'm like, I'm a planner, girly. I got my whole, everything's fixed. My whole life's fixed. I don't need therapy anymore.

Everything's good. Cut that out. We have a better help ad. Cut that out. Cut that out. Well, Carl and Lamar, thank you so much. Thank you for having me. This was such a blast.

Oh, my God. Where can people find you? And anything to plug? Let us know. I'll do some plugs. You can find me on Instagram myself at dammitcarl, D-A-M-M-I-T-C-A-R-L on Instagram. That's the only one I use. I don't use any of the other crazy ones.

And you can listen to XOXO Gossip Kings right here on the HeadGum Network, wherever you get your podcasts, and follow us on Instagram at xoxogossipkings underscore podcast. And also, scream Grand Crew on Peacock. Oh, yes. And congrats on the renewal. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Guys, if you haven't listened to XOXO Gossip Kings, that shit makes me laugh. You guys are so fucking funny. It's amazing. Everyone, go listen to it. It's brilliant. You guys are brilliant. It's an amazing show. Are you a Gossip Girl fan? I have seen

the entire show more than once. In high school, oh my god. When I was in high school, the finale was live. And so it was like, we were all watching. I was, oh my God, I wanted to be Blair for better or for worse.

You're coming on soon. Please don't spoil. Please don't spoil. Of course not. Lips are sealed. I'm watching. I'm in real time. I have not gone forward.

I have not gone backward. I'm so jealous. I wish I could experience it for the first time again. It is crazy watching it as a 33-year-old man. It's amazing. Yeah. It's so true. It is wild. It's a beautiful show. Yeah, definitely. Check us out.

It's amazing. I guess you can follow me at ProfMatic, P-R-O-P-H-Matic, and hang out. If we want to listen to some music, I have some music on Spotify, Apple, all the streaming, just look up Lamar Woods you'll find it and yeah and check out Grant Cruth

I wrote on the last season and it's coming out in March I think March 3rd it'll be back on the network Friday nights after Lopez vs. Lopez and before Young Rock I believe Amazing and yeah watch that but right now you can catch all of season

one binge it before the new season comes out on peacock screaming on hell yes um you can find alfred on instagram at alfred in it you can find the show on instagram at review review reddit r slash review review head them head gum discord, baby. And you can find Riley on Instagram.com at Riley Anspaugh. Web browser only. And on Twitter.com for as long as it lasts at Riley Coyote. And

as we say every week on the show, we say the same thing every week. We all know it. And we're going to say it right now. All together. Dr. Glenn did dentists to the stars.

Dr. Glenn. Dr. Glenn did dentists to the stars. Is. Is. Is. We forgot the rest of it. Is. That was a Hiddem original.