Review Revue - Trampoline Parks (w/ Finn Wolfhard!)
Episode Date: March 3, 2020Literal A-lister Finn Wolfhard joins Reilly & Geoff to discuss trampoline parks in British Columbia, dry meatballs, and RANGERS & ANGELS.Be sure to give the show a funny 5-star r...eview on Apple Podcasts! We’ll read it on air, or we won’t! Also, go check out THE TURNING (2020) in theaters now!Follow Finn, Reilly, and Geoff:IG: @finnwolfhardofficial, @reillyanspaugh, & @iamgeoffreyjamesTwitter: @FinnSkata, @reilecoyote, & @dontplaynojamesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Get that Angel Reef special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
At participating restaurants for a limited time.
You make me want to go out and steal
I just wanna rip you
Oh, there we go.
So you have heard it.
We have heard it.
We're here with Finn Wolfhard.
For some reason.
We were just talking about Paul McCartney's new album.
So that is your actual...
That is our theme song.
For the time being, our theme song is us overdubbing for you
with review
and it's two seconds long
oh so much for coming man
of course
did you just come up
with that downstairs
no we've been doing this
are you serious
yeah
so before
for those of you
who don't know
what just happened
because we weren't recording
yeah
downstairs we were telling Finn
we're like yeah
we can't wait
till you hear our theme song
and Jake goes
who wrote it
and we're like
Paul McCartney and Finn goes yeah he we can't wait till you hear our theme song. And Jake goes, who wrote it? And we're like, Paul McCartney.
And Finn goes, yeah, he wrote a song called Fuh You.
It's hilarious.
And Jeff and I just look at each other.
That sounds crazy.
We're like, that's insane.
I've never heard that before.
Give us five minutes.
What a crazy song.
And we'll freaking listen to it, bro.
And we'll blow your mind.
You're the second guest we've ever had on this podcast.
What a weird meeting of the minds.
Right?
What a weird thing that we start our first guest,
Amir Blumenfeld, second guest.
What a fucked up second guest.
Finn fucking Wolfhard.
What a weird jump.
Our boss to the star of a Netflix show,
Stranger Things. I hate to ask you this, and I promised Riley I wouldn't, Our boss to the star of a Netflix show's stranger thing.
I hate to ask you this, and I told, I promised Riley I wouldn't, but what's your, sorry, liquidity, what's your net worth?
Come on, don't do that to him.
No, I just want to know.
You promised you wouldn't ask.
He could be a homeowner, I'm sure.
But you just don't know where you want to live yet.
That's the problem.
Can I use Soch?
Oh, yeah, it is.
Media or number?
So you bounce around between Vancouver.
LA, Atlanta, New York.
Hotlanta.
What's your favorite city?
I love Chicago.
Chicago's awesome.
Chicago's cool.
Great city.
And I like...
I love Chicago.
What the fuck was that?
Great city because you're like,
are you going to say Los Angeles?
Because I'm from here.
That's the best one.
I'm from Sugar and Falls, Ohio.
No one asked.
Sorry, we were actually talking about
how Finn travels all over.
Absolutely no one asked.
I hate to interrupt. Have you been to
Mentor? No.
It's not too far from Chicago.
Of course not.
Of course not.
No, I love New York, and I've always liked LA because I have family friends here, and I've always been coming here.
But I like traveling.
I love being in different places.
I just fucking hate flying.
Yes.
The act of going to an airport is like i don't know how to describe how like soul
crushing it is to be like you're gonna be in a paradise in six in 12 hours but first you have
to deal with people that you would never want to deal with in your life yeah do you get do people
come up to you a lot yeah i well i just got a flight attendant that really that uh really
wanted a picture with me and that was nice yeah But that's hard when then it's like,
you can't leave.
Yeah, then it's one of those things
where it's like,
you have been serving me like nuts.
So like, I do feel like I owe you something.
Yeah.
That is weird.
Where it's like in real life,
like if someone were to come up to me
and have a weird sense of entitlement
of like, I deserve this.
That's different.
Has someone said that to you?
It's all in the demeanor.
Actually, that's a good idea.
Anyone who wants to come up for a picture with me,
just say, hey man,
I know you obviously are at dinner right now
and you're eating,
but I fucking deserve this.
I don't know why I feel this way,
but you should have already been in a photo with me.
You should have asked me for the photo, honestly.
What are the chances? Do you have favorite dinner in a photo with me. Of course. You should have asked me for the photo. Yeah. Honestly. What are the chances?
Me and you.
Do you have favorite dinner spots in LA?
Favorite.
Oh.
I like.
Oh yeah.
I've never been there.
It's near your place.
Really?
It's Mexican.
We'll cut that out.
Sorry.
It's at.
It's on north.
Well how many.
It's in Alhambra.
Cut it out.
Well how many.
What's it called?
How many locations are there?
I think there's only one.
Okay, well then, yeah, then we have to bleep it out.
What's your address?
1920, I'm not going to say it.
1926 Bill Street.
Sugarfish is fun.
It's a good one.
My friend Catherine works at Sugarfish in La Brea.
So if you see a redhead from Burlington, tell her Jeffrey sent you.
And you'll know she's from Burlington.
I was literally about to say that.
Yeah.
I know a freaking Burlingtoner.
When I see her.
From my whole way.
And Riley.
Burlington, Ontario.
I just want to be fair.
I mean, obviously most of the things will be for Finn, but where do you like to eat?
Yeah.
Where do I like to eat?
Yeah.
Just say it fast.
Wait.
Oh, well, I got to think about it for a little fast. Wait. Oh, well, I gotta think about it
for a little bit.
Like fresh salad.
Don't think about it.
Just say it.
It doesn't even matter
if it's true.
Just say a place.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry
you have to see me
like this, Finn.
Sorry, there's,
I don't know.
Jesus.
Faster.
Yeah, now you're
embarrassing yourself.
Well, now I'm nervous.
Oh, my God.
There's a great Thai place
near me.
Cool.
Come on.
Welcome to Review Review,
the only review show
that's ever been made.
Absolutely wrong.
Not even just podcast.
No, don't listen to him.
All right, fuck it.
Whatever, it's fine.
I'll let you guys do your thing.
We're the only podcast
that's ever been made.
Sure.
Isn't that crazy?
And you're on it.
I can't believe it.
It's insane.
It's amazing.
Finn, this show
has not been released.
Yeah, because you guys were talking about it before,
and I thought I was a dick for not knowing what the show was,
and then I realized, oh, it's not out yet.
It hasn't been out yet.
And by the time this comes out, how many episodes will be out?
I'll be, what, 25?
You'll be, yeah, you should be 24, 25.
Okay, sure.
Sure.
Rent a car and listen it in there.
And there.
Rent a car and listen it in there. We've done seven episodes. This is eight. Oh, sure. Sure. Rent a car and listen it in there. In there. Rent a car and listen it in there.
We've done seven episodes.
This is eight.
Oh, wow.
We're not sure when this will release.
This episode.
And it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
We're just having fun shooting the chat.
Shooting the chat.
With some friends.
Shooting the chat.
Making some new pals.
Maybe this will never be released.
Ideally, it won't.
I don't see you gotta talk about it.
Ideally, hopefully it won't be. I have some talking points that are... The career will be over. They can never be released. Ideally it won't. We'll see if we can talk about it. Ideally, hopefully it
won't be because
the career will be over.
They can never be released.
It'll tarnish my name.
So this episode
we are talking about
and we are reading
reviews for
Trampoline Parks.
Trampoline Parks.
And it sounded like
we just came up
with that on the first one
but in reality
we did come up with it
like 25 minutes ago. That would be fucking amazing if it was like let's come up with that on the first one, but in reality we did come up with it like 25 minutes ago.
That would be fucking amazing if it was like, let's come up with a reshave and same thing.
Skyzone.
Sure.
Many, many different.
The one I picked, there's so many different.
Skyzone, among others.
Yeah, there's so many weird ones.
Finn, what is your best memory of a trampoline park?
I mean, I love trampoline parks when
they're not super packed that's obviously the best but usually they are i my favorite thing
about going to trampoline parks is going now as a 17 year old that's a almost six foot tall person
and being able to just destroy eight-year-olds on the way sorry destroy eight-year-olds yeah
you're under arrest oh shit did shit. Did I say too much?
No, obviously.
But I like dunking on them.
Yeah.
There's like a dunk section. So I meant what I said.
So I did mean what I said.
Yeah, I destroy them.
In this scenario, are you with friends or it's just you?
By myself.
By myself.
No, I love going to trampoline parks.
I think that they're really, really fun and dangerous.
And they're like, that's my thing.
Well, no, I don't like danger, but
when you think about it, if you were to
pitch that,
it's just a bunch of pre-teens
jumping in the air,
ten feet in the air, and just
almost hitting each other for
four hours.
They have not been bar mitzvahed yet.
Yeah, yeah. Train to do backflips.
They are fresh.
Wait.
Fresh?
Excuse me.
Low blow.
You can't say that.
Fresh.
What?
When there's newborn babies,
I say that they're fresh.
They don't get ripe
until like eight.
Any memories?
Oh, I have a good, actually, sorry.
That wasn't a memory, but I was going to say one of my favorite memories was I was learning how to backflip.
Because I'm really, I can front flip and land it, but I can't backflip because I'm terrified of it.
And because you can't see where the fuck you're going.
I don't do flips. Like if you were on a ledge, you could front flip off and land on your feet or only in the trampoline.
Absolutely.
No. Yeah, only in the trampoline? Absolutely. No.
Yeah, only in the trampoline.
Oh, okay.
Cool, cool, cool.
No, that would be insane.
No, that would be awesome.
Yeah, that would be great.
But he can't.
Make me better.
So anyways, I'm a dick.
So it was me training.
Someone was like helping me, some random guy working there, like how to backflip, just giving me tips.
And I did it.
I did one into the foam pit.
And so I went, all right, I'm going to on to the jet gymnastic trampoline and try it and like i had so much confidence and the
minute i jumped up i had absolutely no confidence and immediate regret of it and just backed out
halfway through the backflip and just landed so like just taco'd so hard out of my neck and back
and i was just like yeah this is that's it i'm done with that my neck yeah my back my neck and back. And I was just like, yeah, that's it.
I'm done with that.
My neck.
My back.
My pussy and my park.
Trampolines.
No, let's really talk about this.
Let's get into it. No, but for real.
I didn't know if you were going to go through the whole thing.
That's terrifying.
See, that's what I can't do.
I'm very scared of doing flips on trampolines
because I'm terrified of that.
And I remember, this wasn't at a trampoline park, but like, I'd
be on my friend's trampoline and we'd be like, let's popcorn
each other, you know, when you sit down. It's like, I'm gonna
double bounce you. And that
happened and I fucked up my neck really
bad. And I'm scared
of that because I'm also 5'4
and so going to a trampoline park
where like, people much larger than
I are like, jumping really hardcore like people much larger than I are like jumping really hardcore.
People much larger than I.
Yeah, you're dainty.
I'm so dainty.
I'm just like a little waif.
Waif?
I'm a waif.
I owned, well, my family owned a trampoline up until I was like 11.
And I remember one time I was really small.
My brother, my older brother and another kid just like bounced me so hard.
And I just flew off the trampoline
and face planted into the into the lawn oh yeah i've almost died a few times on trampoline
that's like and i still go to the park to the park i still pay i still like i will i could go
to a friend's house and strump on the trampoline, but no. No.
You want to go to a park. Sign a fucking waiver.
Well, it's totally different.
I mean, for those who don't know what a trampoline park or zone is,
there's a basketball trampoline area.
A foam pit.
A foam pit.
A gymnastics area.
It's just a full warehouse filled with trampolines.
Do you have any stories, Jeff?
Me?
Yeah.
Just birthday parties that I caught wind of in middle school, and I was like...
That you're not invited to, that you showed up to?
No, let me check the mail, guys, because I think I did get that invite.
And then I go home, and there was no mail.
So it was, yeah.
Well, anyway, so who should...
Petty cash, would you say?
So do we have any reviews?
Oh, yeah.
Who wants to go first?
Riley?
Okay.
Here we go.
We're going to start.
This is Big Air Trampoline Park.
I believe this is somewhere near Sherman Oaks.
Great.
We have a two-star review from December 2nd, 2019 from Rosa R.
Thoughts? R. I like her name.
It's good. You ready?
Rosa R, I said.
Why are you getting mad? Sorry.
Yeah, I'm just, okay. You're reiterating.
I would say she's not usually like this, but it happens
almost every time. This is it.
Okay, two stars. Ready? Here we go.
One time, no thought.
It was definitely a place for young children.
I went there for a kid's birthday party, and it's not my type of place, but perfect for this kid.
The food there was not good.
The party package that was chosen included dry hard pizza, dry microwave cheese sticks, and also some dry meatballs without any dipping sauce.
Just dry.
Sorry to interrupt.
What trampoline parks serve meatballs
to kids that are
jumping on trampolines?
No sauce.
No sauce.
Vomiting into the ball pit.
Just dry.
This place is also,
it's cheap.
Sure.
They charge per hour
and you have to wear
some orange socks.
Glad I don't,
sorry.
They charge per hour
and you have to wear
some orange socks. Glad I don't like this kind of place. hour and you have to wear some orange socks.
Glad I don't like this kind of place.
I'm sure that those who have small children will enjoy it.
Bounce till you drop.
Just eat elsewhere.
Jesus.
From Rosa R.
Hi.
Yeah, so I was here for two hours and five minutes.
I was just wondering if I couldn't be charged for that last hour.
Oh, sorry.
Well, we do charge.
So that's 20 per the hour.
And then we're going to have to do another 10 for that half hour.
10?
Riley, is someone else asking the same question?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me deal with them.
Holy shit.
This is my manager.
He's wearing a cloak.
Of course.
Look, I guess I wouldn't have as much of an issue.
But everything I ate today was dry.
I don't even usually describe food as that.
And you like wet food?
I'm sorry, are you a dog?
You guys are bullying me. No, sorry, it's just that it's like
when we advertise the food on the menu it says meatballs, no sauce.
Yeah, it says dry.
It says dry pizza, no sauce.
If you did do research before coming, it did say.
Sorry, on the website menu it says
dry, but in the physical
menus you have here it doesn't mention dry.
No, it doesn't. And that's usually a thing that corporate deals with. I guess I just didn here doesn't mention dry. No, it doesn't. I mean, that's usually a thing that
corporate deals with, but we don't. I guess I just didn't read
the fine print. No, I'm sorry that you
didn't enjoy your experience. Did you like the trampolines
at least? Yeah, they were fun. I mean, I got a little bit
of a stomach ache, but. What was that from? It's from the
dry food. Obviously, it's from the dry food.
I'm sorry you're implying that we poisoned you.
I have been feeling kind of faint, but
I didn't think you poisoned me until just now.
We cut to the meatball factory.
One drop of cyanide into each dry ball.
Hey, Jeff, can you get it in here?
Yeah.
QC, what's up?
Yeah, what's up with all the dry fucking meatballs?
Are we just going to send them out like that?
That was a huge wholesale order for a year's worth of dry balls for this trampoline zone.
Sure, should we just send it to the
trampoline again? Yeah, but just
they wanted basically arsenic
one drop in each one. Not enough to kill
but enough to cause a stomach ache
on the trampoline. Sure, of course.
What a weird order.
I also just have to point out
it's mandatory that you have to wear the
orange socks. There's actually a fine
if you don't wear the orange socks. Wait, how much is the fine?
Another $30,000.
$30,000.
$30,000.
$30,000.
For insurance policies.
So by not wearing the socks, I voided the insurance policy?
It's like when you're ziplining and you don't wear the freaking helmet, right?
Don't level with me.
It's not the same thing.
Right?
It's exactly the same.
We're on the same page.
If you're in Costa Rica and you're ziplining through the rainforest and you don't have a helmet, it's the same thing as being indoors and showing up without the same. We're on the same page. If you're in Costa Rica and you're ziplining through the rainforest and you don't have a helmet, it's the same
thing as being indoors in Sherman Oaks
without the socks. Because if you fall, you break
your crack open your head. Right, and that's a
$30,000 fine, and that's kind of the
same thing for me. You know what? You guys are lucky that
I'm independently wealthy off
some weird schemes. Okay, brag.
Yeah, geez. Who do I make
the check out to?
You don't even know
I also
I gotta say
about this review
my favorite
is how
my favorite thing
is like
she's so
she's like
oh well I'm glad
I don't like it here
cause this place
isn't for me
yeah yeah yeah
she's so judgmental
she's so judgmental
for no
to so many people
but also that it's kind of hiding like maybe she did have more fun than she expected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This place for kids is, like, it's definitely not for me.
It's definitely for kids and not for me.
Are you sure you didn't have fun?
Because you're, like, smiling ear to ear.
Yeah.
No, it's, like, I bounced.
Like, I tried to have fun, but it's, like, it's definitely for, like, five-year-olds.
What I heard you use, I heard you use this as bounce till you drop.
Yeah.
Which means you loved it so much that you did it until you fainted.
I definitely did bounce till I dropped.
I mean, not even a kid does that.
That's fucking crazy.
I mean, they know when to stop.
Did you eat anything before you went on?
I had a bag of Sour Patch Kids.
Jesus.
The candy or just children?
It was my kids' candy, and I took it.
Sorry, I had a great time.
I bounced till I dropped.
Then don't give us a two-star review.
How dare you?
It was a two-star review.
Yeah, weird it was two.
And she's like, it's a great place for kids.
Bounce till you drop.
Dry-ass meatballs.
Two stars.
Two stars.
Yeah. for kids, bounce till you drop. Dry ass meatballs. Two stars.
Should I go next? Absolutely.
Alright. Next. Here's one star.
This is Apex Adventureplex.
Apex Adventureplex.
Where? In Vancouver.
Cool.
Okay, here it is.
One star from Munzeer Muhammad.
At my time at Apex Adventure Park,
I saw an employee named Ethan,
and he was horrible at his job.
I asked him where the bathroom was,
and he just ignored me.
He's working,
but he's jumping on the trampoline the entire time.
He spoke in a really loud tone to my son,
thus making him cry.
I asked why he did that,
and he said he doesn't like kids.
Not coming here again, one star.
Holy shit.
That is shocking.
Ethan, you know why I called you here to my office?
Yeah, of course.
You've been screaming at kids.
Yeah, I hate them.
No, don't say fuck.
Sorry, I just thought because being honest, I don't know.
I just usually being honest.
We've brought in an HR representative from corporate.
She's going to run you through some sensitivity training.
So I'm Lisa.
I'm just here to run you through a few scenarios.
I truly can't believe that you're not being fired, but that's none of my business.
This is a last-ditch effort.
Okay, great.
So let's say you see a kid, maybe about five or six years old,
and they've stopped jumping, and you can tell that they're clutching onto their ankle.
Something's clearly wrong.
What do you do?
You know, pain is whatever you make it.
Pain is whatever you make it.
Yeah, you have open sores on your left thigh.
Yeah.
You should go to a hospital.
Well, you know, pain is whatever you make it. Pain is a weird motto.
I just think, you know, he's being a baby about it.
So usually either all.
Well, he is a baby.
He's like five years old.
Well, if he's coming up to me.
He's three years old.
If he's coming up to me and giving me something, I don't have any, you know.
You made a motion like he's like squaring up to fight you.
Of course.
Well, because if an eight-year-old comes up to me and says, help my ankle hurts, that could be easily like he's trying to get my job.
So my position.
Yeah, we don't hire people under 18.
Right.
So I back up, pull on my fists.
You're not hearing me, but go on.
And kind of just wait until he makes a fucking move.
And then I just, yeah.
What was your next one?
Sorry.
But that was my answer.
Well, sorry.
I just need to, just for the sake of me writing this down beforehand.
If you see a kid clutching his ankle, you wait till he walks it off.
Unless he's a little bit older,
in which case you think
it's a ploy to square up to fight.
Correct.
So you will stand back,
fists ready,
like a video game character
Just do the next one.
We agree on it.
Next scenario.
You can move on,
but we agree on it.
This kind of relates
to what we were just talking about.
So sometimes kids,
as we know,
can get a little rowdy. We're at a place where we serve pizza, ice cream, you know. This kind of relates to what we were just talking about. So sometimes kids, as we know, can get a little rowdy.
We're at a place where we serve pizza, ice cream, you know.
A lot of birthday parties.
A lot of birthday parties here.
So sometimes in a need to feel like they want to impress their friends,
they do kind of start harassing employees a little bit.
Like, come bounce with us.
Or like, come play with us.
How would you diffuse the situation?
I mean, usually when I see rowdy kids,
I kind of just give them something I like to call a nightcap.
That sounds very violent.
Well, let me finish before.
No, I'll let you finish. Sorry.
It's a nice thing that I'm doing for them.
So the minute I see a few kids being a little rowdy, I get in my car on the parking lot,
and I go across the street to the liquor store, and usually buy a fourth like a maybe a quart of
tequila and come back. A quart? Sure. Sure? Yeah. Sorry you're the manager here right? Barely. Well
I haven't even finished my fucking. What do you do with the quart of whiskey? I bring it back I put
it in the center of the trampoline I open it up and I wait. Wait for what? What happens? You've
done this before I've never seen this happen. The first child to make the move.
And usually the first child that makes the move and starts drinking, it gets tired and
passes out.
I can't stress enough.
Which gives me enough room to jump as well.
How desperately you need to fire this employee.
No, it's like at this point, that's, we're going to have to, he's on the record saying
that.
So.
All right.
We cut to, we cut to a businessman's office.
What do you mean my son is feeding kids alcohol?
Look, your deadbeat fucking son, Ethan...
I owned the company!
I know!
That's why we hired him!
Exactly!
You're liking my job if I fire your son.
No!
Then he's still hired, but he's drugging kids with alcohol.
Give it to an HR person that maybe comes in
and kind of maybe pays out of pocket
to the children's parents.
I don't know how that works.
Come back to the HR meeting.
You have to give him cash.
All right.
I think his dad said $2,500.
That was so good.
It's insane of one thing to make a kid cry
and heartless and just go,
I don't like kids.
But the other, I read another review.
Why did you make him cry?
I just don't like kids. Don't work here.
I just usually, yeah, usually,
yeah, when all of your,
when all the people that are, 99%
of people are kids that come to your
establishment. When 99% of people there are
nine, don't work there.
It's like a librarian thrashing books.
Sure.
Then don't work in the library.
Readings are fucking nerds.
I like sports and shit.
There was one day at my high school where some field trip,
I think it must have been an eighth grade, quote unquote,
graduation field trip, they took us to Sky Zone.
And it was full of a lot, like a lot of teen boys,
like 13, 14 year old boys
being like,
let's all bounce each other
and all the girls,
we were all just like
sitting down in the food area
being like,
I have no desire to be here
and then for some reason
all the boys got their hands
on like monster energy drinks.
So it was a lot of
overly caffeinated boys
like going through puberty
being like,
That sounds like a nightmare.
I'm going to bounce the fuck out of you.
And I'm like, I simply need to get back on the bus immediately.
You want to go to homecoming?
I'm going to bounce the fuck out of you.
It's like he needed a monster to work up the courage.
Yo, I'm like really fucking hyper right now.
Holy shit.
I got my learner's permit. I could definitely drive you to the fucking dance if my mom's in the courage. No, I'm like really fucking hyper right now. Holy shit. I got my learner's permit.
I could definitely drive you to the fucking dance
if my mom's in the car.
If my mom's in the car,
I can absolutely drive
and then she can wait
and it'll be fine.
I don't want your mom to wait
during the homecoming.
No, no, no.
She'll be like,
she honestly,
she can play Candy Crush.
She'll just be sitting in the car
and she's done it.
She's pretty cool.
She's pretty cool about it.
Cool.
Congratulations.
She sounds like a wonderful woman.
I actually already have a date
to homecoming
you okay?
just didn't expect it
gonna go bounce some more
my friend was telling me about how he was a few grades older than me
in my elementary school and there was a thing that they would play called
Rangers
Rangers and Angels
and it was a game where
it was a game where half boys half the boys would line up on the
playground and the other half would line up and then you go one two three rangers rangers and
angels and you'd run and then basically they would all just beat the fuck out of each other
and the girls were the angels and all they had to be doing was just no please stop fighting. That was the game
Just dudes beating the shit of each other the girls going no, please stop that
So we just shot a sketch with you about childhood games
Obviously, it's not a real game, but they played it. That's so fucking funny.
Also, Rangers?
Like, park Rangers?
Dude, I don't know what.
He was telling me about it, and I was like, this sounds insane.
Rangers and Angels.
It does not roll off the tongue.
Absolutely.
Rangers and Angels.
Anyone ever game of Rangers and Angels?
It's like a slant ride.
I'm going to do a biopic about Rangers and Angels.
All right, so half of you guys are Rangers.
Just beat the shit out of each other.
Is that the only? No. What? There's a twist.
Oh, okay. The rest of you guys
are angels. And you're going
no, don't.
You're gonna hurt someone. But do we stop fighting
when we hear the angels? No. You just play
until recess is over.
Until the bell rings. Yeah.
Until the bell tolls.
Um, there is a game I'm a Metallica fan. Sorry. rings. Yeah. Until the bell tolls. There is a game.
I'm a Metallica fan.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Jesus.
I will let you read your review, but it just made me think of while they were playing.
Oh, yeah.
I got to go soon.
I just realized.
Of course.
Of course.
Oh, you do have to go soon.
We would play horse at recess, and a friend of mine would.
Not the basketball game.
They would take a jump rope, put it around her waist,
and a girl would run around like she was a horse,
and the other girl would pretend to be the rider.
Anyway, continue.
What were you saying?
That's also insane.
That is also.
All right, this is for Sky Zone and Anaheim.
Nice.
Ever heard of it?
Yeah.
I've heard of Anaheim before.
Cool.
Three stars from Ashley V.
Okay. Very nice.
I'm listening. Very nice. I wonder what the V stands for. Yeah, don't do that. Victoria. from Ashley V. Okay. Very nice. I'm listening.
Very nice.
I wonder what the V stands for.
Yeah, don't do that.
Victoria.
Vagina.
No.
No.
No, probably not.
Probably not.
I bet you money.
Her name isn't Ashley Vagina.
I doubt her name is Ashley Vagina.
Coming out of the womb.
Agreed.
Sure.
We agree.
How many stars?
It's three stars.
I just lost it.
Of course.
Good job.
So talk amongst yourselves.
It was good, I guess.
What else?
What else?
Finn, I'm so sorry about this.
He is usually like this.
Yeah.
This happens more often than it doesn't.
Yeah, you're embarrassing yourself in front of all these people.
Always. I know. And it's not even that many people.'t. Yeah, you're embarrassing yourself in front of all these people. Always.
I know.
And it's not even that many people.
Look how many people you're embarrassing yourself over.
We have a studio audience that we have not miked, and we told them to be quiet.
Right.
Three stars.
Ashley Vagina, Anaheim, California.
No, Ashley V. Her name is not Vagina.
Place was clean.
Front desk girls were friendly.
Was disappointed, however, by the fact that they kicked my toddler
out of the toddler area for a private party.
Then threw out a vague,
your kids can play over there in the dodgeball court,
which was full of teenagers playing hardcore dodgeball,
which isn't safe at all.
Didn't end up staying and playing our entire time
because she couldn't play anywhere safe amongst kids her own size.
Plus, the warrior course was closed for my older child.
The employees told this toddler, who's what, four?
Why don't you go enter the gauntlet?
They saw something special in her and they're like, you know what?
She's got it.
She'll get her ass kicked.
Do you mind just, I don't know,
maybe telling your toddler to get the fuck out?
What?
Just kind of telling him to fuck off.
I don't know.
I'm not going to tell my toddler to fuck off.
Oh, so you want me to do it?
No, I don't want you to do it.
Is there a problem here?
Sorry, I work at the front desk.
Yes, that doesn't seem like the right ranks.
You walk down from an office.
Sure.
And you're a front desk person.
You're stepping in.
I mean, she'll defend me.
What seems to be the problem?
What's your name?
Ethan.
Ethan just told me to tell my kid to fuck off because there's a private party.
And it doesn't even look like there's a private party.
There's just like...
So here's the thing.
Is that there is one booked for 7 p.m.
It's 2 now, 2 p.m.
We like to have it for a long time to prep it.
It would be appreciated if the toddler fucked off maybe to like the dodgeball court.
Sorry, I know Ethan really well.
And I know he can come off a little strong.
Can I see your toddler?
I just... Excuse me? Sorry, no a little strong um can i see your toddler can i just i just
excuse me sorry no like i mean can i um can i meet your toddler no i just you can talk to me and i'll
talk to my child sorry well usually when ethan says stuff like that it's because he has sensed
something strong and yeah um i've said something strong in the spirit realm and he really means
that it's like if he's telling your toddler to fuck off, that means that, like, your kid...
What? No, he just said he sensed something strong in the spirit realm?
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Are you some kind of medium?
Is that your hobby, Ethan?
I mean, so I am hired, yes, by Sky Zone.
Not what I asked. I do handle many of these kind of things,
and I think you're,
I'm telling your toddler to fuck up
because I think it is a very evil presence.
Your toddler is.
You're nodding your head.
Do you agree with him?
This is what he does.
He's the best at it.
She was eating Doritos really, really ravenously,
and only the devil eats Doritos.
She was eating Doritos from the vending machine because your food is dry.
You got the meatballs?
You got the meatballs, huh?
Ethan, you're wearing a Rolex.
Listen, I...
How are you this wealthy?
Listen, I agree with you about the food thing, okay?
I totally agree with you.
Thank you.
Let me level with you.
Thank you.
However, I need you to tell your toddler to fuck off.
We're just going to go somewhere else.
Oh, yeah, there's one down the street.
Cut to the next Sky Zone.
Hi, welcome to Sky Zone.
Is your baby...
Four. He's four years old, so it's the toddler pass.
No, I didn't really want to... Riley, can you get in here?
Yeah, absolutely. What's going on? Sorry, what seems to be the problem?
What the fuck?
How did you get here so... We drove.
So did I. What seems to be the problem? Never mind.
We're gonna go play mini golf.
That's a mini golf.
Two kids' day passes in one of them.
Sorry, what seems what's the problem?
Oh my God, dude.
We're going to go home.
That's our home.
Hey, what's the problem?
What the?
Oh, two fun.
Two fun stuff.
Should we tell,
should we tell them
the next segment?
The next segment?
Okay.
It's the last segment.
Okay.
Yeah.
This shook me off. The next segment? Okay. It's the last segment. Okay. Yeah. This
took me all week long.
You've been in L.A. for what?
Two days?
One.
One day?
What's been shaking you this week?
I hated every moment of what that was.
What's been shaking me?
Yeah, like, like, um.
What's, like, the one thing
you haven't been able to get off your mind?
For better or for worse.
When I try to sleep and I'm excited,
I can't get songs out of my head.
Excited like...
Pitching a tent in your pants?
Easy, easy.
17.
I can be sued for even saying that.
17.
Yeah.
But your birthday's soon, right?
Easy.
You're a Gemini?
I don't think the zodiac sign has anything to do with what weird thing you're saying.
Gemini's going to handle this shit.
Very good.
No, don't say it like I'm a Gemini.
I'm not.
I am.
But okay, what's the song?
No.
Oh.
You can't get out of your...
Like what's...
Is there a song that's been in your head?
It's songs that I've been listening to.
There's a song that I've been listening to from the SpongeBob soundtrack.
Is it the Panic! At the Disco one?
No, it's a Wilco song.
Oh, cool.
Can you sing a little bit?
Na na na na na.
Na na na na na na na.
Na na na na na na.
Na na na na na na na.
Living underwater.
It's not what it is
okay
okay
what's
what is
what's something that you
you guys have
not been able to get out of your mind
Jeffrey
Jeffrey James
Mephri Mames
sorry let me just
you alright
gather my thoughts
yeah it's okay
yeah it's just that like
Finn had his
yeah like immediately
and like you just don't.
No, I know.
He's a busy man.
Agreed, agreed.
Yeah.
We have all day, but he doesn't.
Yeah.
He's kind enough to come on the show.
No, he has mere seconds to go, but I just like...
Yeah.
I'm trying to figure it out.
Yeah.
He's asleep.
Only for a bit.
You put him to sleep.
Only for a little bit.
Yeah, but still he's asleep nonetheless.
I...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, shit. Been taking vitamins recently.
Oh, God. So, I
did a hair test, right?
Okay, this is true. This is true.
Okay, I was just joking before when you were talking about it downstairs.
Oh, did I say it earlier? You did, that you took a hair test.
Sorry, I browned out from
1230 to like 145. Yeah, sure.
I did a hair test
where this woman took a you know what I mean, like a little snippet? Yeah, yeah. We did a hair test where this woman took a, you know what I mean?
Like a little snippet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Weighed it on a scale to see if it was enough.
Shipped it to a lab.
They did a bunch of tests, right?
No, I have a son.
No.
What a story.
So the vitamins were.
Turns out I donated sperm.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't remember when or why.
But yeah, so I'm taking vitamin B complex.
For your hair.
For everything.
And it's been getting complex.
It's been getting complex.
Vitamin E, glycine, collagen powder.
And I feel better.
Actually?
I actually do.
I feel like there's a spring in my step and a pep in my eye.
Not what they say, but...
And a pep in my sty.
And a pep in my sty. I had a sty for a day.
Did you actually? Recently?
As an adult?
You had a sty? Like the thing that five-year-olds get?
Finn, I have eye problems.
Jeff gets a lot of styes.
Oh, dude. He gets a lot of styes.
I also think that Amir has... He's constantly putting, either he just loves Visine, or he's like.
Which he does.
It is that, but the Visine caused the dry eye.
He does love, yeah, he does love Visine.
But yeah, take vitamins.
You guys should get a hair test.
You both have a lot of it.
Again, he's 17.
No, I'm just saying he has some golden locks.
He's talking about my hair.
Very dark hair.
Very dark, but I can tell you're a natural blonde.
No.
What shook me?
Glad you asked.
Come on.
Let me have this one thing.
Come on.
Okay, say it.
My boyfriend got new frames for his glasses.
Yeah.
And they're really nice.
So I've been really excited.
It has nothing to do with me. Like, they're not my glasses, but I went and helped him really nice. So I've been really excited. It has nothing to do with me.
They're not my glasses,
but I went and helped him get them,
but I'm excited about it.
I'm just like...
His glasses that he has now are really good,
but these are really good.
What kind of glasses?
Are they making him look smart?
They're just like hip.
Yeah, are they wire-framed
or like tortoise? It's kind of like a tortoise
wire-frame hybrid. Wow. So both of the
things he said. So both of the things I said,
of course. It's like a little bit thicker than a wire-frame
with like a little bit of a tortoise around it. Thick as day.
It's thick as day.
They're thick as day. I'm staring Daniel at
the eyes. I'm staring right at the eyes.
He just, oh Jesus, he makes me want to freaking
kiss him. I'm gonna, I would give him a smooch. I would. I would. I'm staring right at the eyes. It just, oh Jesus, it makes me want to freaking kiss him. I'm gonna, I
would give him a smooch.
I would. I would. I know.
It's crazy. I would.
Come on. You can't.
You have so many young listeners.
Don't talk about kissing your
long-term boyfriend.
Come on.
Usually 10 years or younger.
I know, which doesn't make sense.
But here we are. We did it. We did trampoline Disgusting. You have 10, usually 10 years or younger. I know, which doesn't make sense. Yeah, I don't know.
But here we are.
Well,
we did it.
We did trampoline parks.
My cheeks hurt from the day.
Thick as day.
Smiling and laughing.
Smiling and laughing all day.
That was a fun day.
What do you have to plug?
You're a busy guy.
You're an enlistor.
I have a,
an enlistor.
An enlistor.
An enlistor.
He's an enlistor. I, I have a movie called The Turning. elicitor. An elicitor. He's an elicitor.
I have a movie called The Turning that's coming out in February, early February.
I don't remember the exact date, which makes me bad at doing this.
Are you doing press right now?
I am.
I start tomorrow.
Christ.
That's a lot.
That's exciting.
It'll be fun.
I'll sleep, hopefully, tonight.
Take niacinamide.
What? Again, he's 17. It'll be fun. I'll sleep, hopefully, tonight. Take niacinamide. What?
Again, he's 17.
It's vitamin B3.
It promotes restfulness.
Oh, Jesus.
Come on.
Take it at nine.
You're just like a melatonin.
You'll be feeling fine.
Easy.
Anyways, so I got that.
And I start with Stranger Things 4.
We start this year.
And then it should be out 2021.
Woo-hoo! 2021! things for uh we start this year and then it should be out 2021 and then uh you're banned
i have a i have a i have a song that i actually for this movie the turning uh i have a uh have
well i mean when this is out it's gonna be out be out, so hopefully. It's true. We'll probably
time it for the release of the movie. Great.
Whatever. Do whatever you want. Go see
Turning. Go see the Turning.
It's called Getting Butter.
Getting Butter.
It's called Churning Butter.
Churning Butter.
It's called Churning Entertainment Butter.
It's called Getting Better Otherwise by the
Aubrey's. It's a fun one. Entertainment Butter. Yeah, it's called Getting Better Otherwise by the Aubreys.
It's a fun one. Is that the name of the band?
The Aubreys? Yes. Do you guys tour?
I toured with my last band and it got really
like I have, as you guys know, I have a lot
of stuff that I'm doing.
So it got hard and we were
on a label and they really wanted us to tour
and it was kind of an impossible thing.
And then I kind of just split off with me and my drummer and we created our own thing that's just independent. It's awesome. So we really wanted us to tour and it was kind of an impossible thing and then I kind of
just split off
with me and my drummer
and we created
our own thing
that's just independent
it's awesome
so we don't have to
tour or anything
we're just doing our thing
you should play
the Echo in LA
out of all
wow
Jeff loves
places that are
close to him
I've never been
to the Echo before
it's awesome
you know Ryan Ross
it's sawsome dude
it's Ryan Ross-some
from Panic! at the Disco
of yore so you're I've heard you mention it now twice Panicum. It's Ryan Rossum. From Panic! at the Disco of yore.
So you're a giant.
I've heard you mention it now twice, Panic! at the Disco.
You're a giant Panic! at the Disco.
No.
Jeff loves Panic! at the Disco.
I can tell you do because you're going to.
I like Ryan Ross's house.
He's also a big architecture junkie.
Have you been to Ryan Ross's house?
I've never been invited.
But you've been inside.
But I've been inside.
Sure.
Sure.
He didn't know.
That's amazing
you're doing amazing things
you're doing a bunch
of cool shit
you're welcome to come back
to the office
to the pod
to a sketch
whenever you want
you guys are the best
you gotta get out of here
yeah I gotta go
you gotta go
Riley plug quick
you have nothing
this
Jeff you have nothing also
I got this boy
watch carpool karaoke
or don't
what?
I started writing for carpool karaoke
did you actually?
yeah
that's awesome my packet was you're the cast of Stranger Things yeah Carpool karaoke. Or don't. What? I started writing for carpool karaoke. Did you actually? Yeah.
That's awesome. My packet was that you're the cast of Stranger Things.
Yeah.
So I know some things about you.
Oh.
Because of the research packets.
Again, he's 17.
He's very nice.
But David Young says hi.
I just saw David when we were shooting that.
I haven't seen your episode.
I didn't write it.
I started a few weeks ago.
Are we even supposed to talk?
Whatever.
We'll bleep it out.
We'll cut it after I say it.
None of this is going in.
Who cares?
This whole thing is a bust.
We're not going to air this.
This whole thing's not going to be fucking released.
The whole thing is bad.
Social media.
Oh, at Finn Wolfhard official.
But you know, you don't have to.
I'm good.
I'm at the stage of my life where-
Holy shit.
That's a fucked up thing to say,
but honestly, if it took time out of your day
to go on your phone and follow me,
you really don't have to.
I'm good.
That's fair, but it's such a baller thing.
That's amazing.
I don't need one more follower.
I don't, it's, I don't want to,
I didn't mean to sound like a dick.
No, you're not.
No, you're not, you're not.
Well, if you don't, if you end up not going.
But if you want to follow Riley and Chad.
Yeah.
We need it. If anyone doesn't want to follow Finn, but wants to follow us if you end up not going. But if you want to follow Riley and Jeff. Yeah. We need it.
If anyone doesn't want to follow Finn but wants to follow us instead, we'll take them.
So I will deflect that onto Riley and Jeff.
If you want to follow me, follow Riley and Jeff.
That's really noble.
Perfect.
That's a gift.
Social.
Social is Riley Anspaugh.
Instagram, Riley Coyote on Twitter.
And just, you know, have a look.
Have a look-see.
Hell yeah.
Jeff, what about you?
Don't play no James on Twitter because there was nothing good.
Instagram is IamJeffreyJames, spelled bad.
Sure.
Thanks so much for listening.
Finn, you want to leave us with some parting wisdom?
I guess don't go to trampoline parks when Ethan's working.
Right?
Never go.
Don't go with it.
Well, go to Apex. I don't want to sell them short. Only when Ethan's working. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Never go. Don't go with it. Don't go,
well,
go to Apex.
I don't want to sell them short.
But only when Ethan's working.
Yeah.
Apparently.
Well,
we can also bleep out,
you know what,
fuck it.
We'll bleep out the names.
Whatever,
who cares?
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Namaste.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.