Review Revue - Vests

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Reilly and Geoff read reviews about Vests and discuss strange wedding traditions, the Queer Eye casting process, and unfair white elephants!Click here to purchase tickets to Reilly's new project, INTO THE MIST!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardeeAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? At participating restaurants for a limited time. I just wanna know how you feel I wanna love that's so proud and real

You make me wanna go out and steal I just wanna rip you That one snuck up on me I just wanna fuck you I'm so used to having a little bit more time To bop around and dance I wanted to catch you off guard We went straight to it

And you did You fucker, you absolutely did You absolutely fucking caught me Caught me, you caught me i've been caught caught with the pants down you know what oh that doesn't have to do with the song pull them back up absolutely do that this is the salt of my eyes fine okay worst pants ever by the way that looks like a parachute it is it's laundry day i'm out of leggings don't own a parachute don't own and i'm not even talking about like when you jump out of a plane you remember like in gym class did you ever do this at your high school that's what i meant that kind of parachute that's what my pants

are yeah i know i can see it hi jeffrey thursday febru February 18th. What was that? It's Thursday, February 18th. It's like two seconds ago, I had just said it was Wednesday, February 18th. Well, it's Thursday, February 18th. Well, it's Thursday, February 18th. You're not correcting me. I didn't say otherwise. Love is in the air, Ransom.

How was your Valentine's Day? Who did you, for lack of a better word, tongue? What? I didn't tongue anyone, man. I watched Gilmore Girls. I'm sorry. It's fine. I watched Gilmore Girls.'s fine I watched Gilmore Girls

I gotta stop talking about this show but um no you don't my entire twitter brand is fucking Gilmore Girls at this point I swear to god and you're just catching up you're years late to the game but that's fine yeah um I don't know what to say Rory's with well I don't want to have any spoilers

because there are people that it's years past I know't want to have any spoilers because there are people that it's years past I know but it's been so long that like people missed it like I missed it and now I'm kind of revisiting this shit it's been so long that people missed it no

I'm saying like maybe there was someone who was born in like 2001 and they were maybe maybe there was maybe there was yeah no separate from the show maybe there was someone born in 08 was born in 2005 which is fine which is fine you don't have to know uh how was your valentine's day thank you for asking um no it was nice. We went to a drive-in movie. We saw Lady and the Tramp. Yeah.

It was very fun. Daniel had never seen it. And I, growing up, you know, watched every Disney movie in the book, especially, like, I had a fondness for the Disney animal movies. So I loved me some Lady and the Tramp. And it's, it was fascinating to revisit it. There's, I don't know if you're, I don't know how familiar you are with me some Lady and the Tramp. And it was fascinating to revisit it. I don't know how familiar you are with Disney's Lady and the Tramp. But Tramp, his nickname for lady is Pidge, which is an abbreviation of pigeon.

So with the sound, like, when he's like, aw, wrong pidge daniel shocked looked at me he goes did he just call her bitch i mean but like the whole time he's like oh come on pidge it's a day in our car just because oh come on bitch come on we had that and then we ordered burritos at home it was real nice and watched schitt's creek with elizabeth that's nice um it's nice to have yeah that nice to have someone you can french it really is yeah what about one in tongue so it's like you have a one night stand and then you're kind of one and done one in tongue yeah you're kind of one in time yeah um yeah i guess that's something i don't know um speaking of dates speaking of getting dressed up for the occasion speaking of putting yourself together in a nice way yeah vests i don't think

so i don't think let's say you know you never met Daniel, so you're still in the dating world. Guy shows up, first date, vest. Just jeans, t-shirt, and vest. What do you do? Okay, well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. When I was looking up reviews for vests, there's so many different kinds.

You have, like, the fleece. You have, like, the insular, like, silicon daddy vest. What's that? And then, I don't know, nothing nothing and then you kind of have like your twee little like you know oh you have those kind of vests right like a bartender vest i don't think so well yes and no i was thinking of like literally like a wool i'm an irish lad walking down the cobblestone streets vest. And then you have a bartender vest.

You have a magician's vest, which could be interchangeable with a bartender vest. Sure. So what kind are you imagining? If I'm on a date, someone comes in in a vest, what are you talking about? It's part of a three-piece suit, but he's only wearing the suit vest

on top of a t-shirt and jeans. But like, it's not a bad date, other than the vest. It's not a bad date. I would, if everything was fine, I would give him another chance and pray to God he didn't wear the vest again. Second date, he wears a different vest.

God damn it. Then I'd of course have to ask about it. I'd have to bring it. The first date, I wouldn't bring it up. I wouldn't want to be weird. but if he's wearing a different vest i'd be like so hey here's a question i love this place this is so cool thanks for introducing me yeah yeah oh of course it's one of my favorites um i just had a question like i'm just so curious because you're i've never seen anyone else kind of like to have this be their thing um what's like what is it about vests

what do you mean the like you love i mean oh you mean the sleeveless well the vest yeah it's just a little hot so i went with the sleeveless you also could like you don't have you could just wear a shirt if it's too hot you're you funny. You're not like other girls. I think this is going really well. Other girls are funny. You asshole. Yeah, so it's not just the vest. Jeff, you love a vest joke.

You love, like, what is it about vests that, like, really thumps in your chest? Well, I think it's a clothing garment that's simply the vest vest is it that you can rhyme it with a bunch of things yeah no that's part of it and it's all unjust but uh it's the shittiest thing to wear i don't know what else to say like okay maybe as a part of a three-piece suit like it could be cool like i could see justin thoreau through rocking uh a three-piece um that's a thorough three-piece is a thorough three-piece i don't know it's unnecessary uh and i think that when you wear just a vest it's such a statement other than what the one the first one you said the like llb in patagonia like those fleece vests those are cool um but also who fucking knows like in 10 years maybe vests

will be back like i'm thinking that bootleg jeans are going to be back in like the early mid aughts like that just a woman yeah wearing just a vest was like, oh, you're edgy and sexy. Yeah, Ashley Tisdale in a way, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Or like Avril Lavigne. Like, you know, that it's like, oh, you're punk. Low rise jeans. And a vest. And a vest, yeah.

And sometimes a tie with no shirt. Yeah, no collar. The look, no collar to wear it with. Did you ever rock that look in the aughts? Like, what's your experience with vests? I sure i had a vest i can't remember i'm sure i had a vest oh i'm sure i had a vest i mean my look was more um the fedora at the time but i think sorry don't you said it so fast and breezed past it would What'd you say? Say it a little slower. My look was like a Roxy brand fedora that was brown and pink. At the Roxy.

At the Roxy. And I thought I was so cool in it. Did you have a vest? No, sorry. I want to hear more about the fedora. Well, the episode isn't called Fedoras, Jeffrey. It's called Vests. We should have done Fedoras.

A vest is the fedora of your chest. It really... It is! A vest is the fedora of your chest. It really is. It is. A vest is the fedora of your chest. It absolutely is. So did you have one? You avoided the question.

Oh, you know what? I did. I have to find this photo. Should we take a break? And then if I can find it, I'll show it to you. And if I can find it, we'll post it on the... Yeah, well, I need just... Hey, Marty? Marty?

Yes, he knows. He already knows. Yeah, okay, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's take that break. Okay, I can't find this photo. I can't find this i can't either if i do i'll post it though this is a one-star review from adam and christy and they don't have a first initial but do you want to give them a last name okay adam and christy bisty also what kind of vest is it it's beige it's it's a beige is it the kind of vest that you were

talking about okay so got it it's really bad we'll post all of these to the instagram one star from adam and christy bisty bisty bought after reading good reviews and it's a good price didn't need it for anything fancy just to class it up a bit under a suit jacket. Arrived on time in a sealed plastic bag. Upon opening though, no tags and the button holes were a little frayed. I was a little suspicious at this point. Try it on, fits fine. In the front pocket, there looks to be like paper packaging, so I remove it. I'm not joking, it was a broken tie clip and a used garter belt from when some dude wore this thing to a wedding after the wedding and whatever else this cheap son of a bitch returned it glad he had fun but don't return a 20 vest after you wore it and basically stuffed the bride's underwear into the pocket. Super gross.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Beware of clothing. You never know who or what someone's been doing in it. I don't even know what to say. At least it was a garter belt and not like you know panties or something worse. I think garter

belts are so strange i think the idea of like in front of all your friends and family having your betrothed go under your skirt with the teeth drag it down your leg that's like what happens what either that or i'm i don't think that happens at the wedding. Yes, it does. Literally, look at him. Look at him. I feel like I'm crazy. Either that happens or I am a sick puppy.

Like, that's definitely what happens. Your eyes are like saucers right now. That literally happens. Maybe not at every wedding wedding but it definitely happens the bride sits on a chair so her new husband can take her garter belt off her leg and toss it to a crowd of bachelors like what that's really weird it doesn't to be fair it does not say teeth i've seen videos of weddings of like someone like truly going under the dress with the teeth sliding it down and then like coming out

with it in his mouth being like oh here we go boys I did it. That's so weird. In front of like all your friends and family that just is so beyond me and like the idea of them tossing that to your buddies Yeah what I mean i i i knew that

like it was a tradition to like wear white lingerie underneath your wedding dress and like for the consummation later i think but that's like private like why is that like that's exciting and private and fun but like why give it to your best friend? What the fuck? I don't want any of my best friend's partners anything, let alone the garter belt. It's like, I'm imagining if it's something that like, all of the, like the groom's party is really not about it. And they, it's like, the groom's just like, okay,

I got Lily's garter belt, all right. And slingshots it in and they're all just the group is like okay i got lily's garter belt all right and slingshots it in and they're all just like oh what was that nothing let's just keep having fun at the wedding man back to the party hey um chris can i can i pull you aside for a sec yeah we can talk hey let's get the rest of the hey tucker eli come on come over here come over guys i didn't want to do this in front of lily in front of our families, but can we talk about what just happened? Yeah, can we actually? Well, thank you.

Thank you. Okay. So we all are on the same page. That really wasn't cool. It really wasn't cool. You tossed Lily's garter belt at all of us. I didn't know that was a tradition. I learned afterwards that i guess that's been

going on for a couple centuries but i think that's kind of gross man yeah that's uh it's not my favorite thing that you've ever done tucker what'd you say no i'm just saying it wasn't my favorite thing you've ever done that's such a weird way of i'm sorry it's my fault that i'm carrying on with a centuries-old tradition like I don't think so I just think we should have talked about it I didn't know that that was a thing until I had her garter belt in my eyes you should be so lucky sorry you should be so lucky to have her garter belt in your eyes

you should have her garter belt in your eyes I shouldn't have been close to any of your thighs yeah exactly and I don't want to be near her thighs because that's your future wife your wife what the fuck did you just say about her you don't want to be near her thighs? This is unbelievable. Anyone would be so fucking lucky to be near those thighs of my wives.

Neil, I think what he's trying to say is that, you know, cheating isn't, it's not awesome. Tucker, what? I didn't say cheating's awesome. You're in an insane mood tonight, man. No, I'm just saying, look, it's not awesome it took her what i didn't say cheating's insane mood tonight man no i'm just saying like it's not sick some people think it is people will rap about how it's awesome i never said cheating was sick i never said it was awesome i'm just saying it's like you kind of embarrass me out there like i was expecting y'all you guys to hype me up and and be like oh your wife is so hot. We wish we could be you. Your wife is beautiful for you.

We don't have to like be near her body or her possessions or anything for you to have not only our attaboy, but our blessing. We think that you're already married. Congratulations, by the way. Let's just have fun, right? This is pointless.

The DJ. All right. Now it's time for the lap dance of the individual groomsman by the bride. Okay, well, you better not embarrass her, all right? What the fuck is this? She has been dreaming of this. You know when they say it's like, oh, every little girl dreams of their wedding. This is what she has been dreaming of.

She rips the dress off. Ten different garter belts. Sit down, boys. Tucker, you're first. I really don't think that this is... Tucker, you get in that fucking chair right now. This is not tubular. Sits down.

She gives him an absolutely inappropriate lap dance. Her dad's crying so proud. Why are you guys okay with this? You're seeing your daughter give this random It's tradition. This is not tradition. Absolutely not. It's tradition. It's tradition in our family. The music stops. DJ, roll the tape.

Projected on the screen. It's his wedding with his wife. She's doing the exact same thing but to a song from like the 60s. But everyone's like sobbing like it's the most beautiful thing I but to a song from like the 60s. But everyone's like sobbing. Like it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Like now that's family. Now that's family.

That is love. I wish I had that. Love is love. And that is family right there. That is love right there. Okay. See, now the eggs on your guy's face. Okay.

I guess it is. I'm sorry. I didn't know that this was all a thing i guess i haven't been to many weddings okay and and listen like it i'm we're not trying to force you into a situation you feel uncomfortable with but it's if you're uncomfortable because lily's my wife that's like like she wants to do this right she wants to do this it's she's carrying on the tradition of her family all right i'll get'll get a lap dance from your wife. Lily, don't cry. It's tears of joy because, Neil, look.

She holds five more wedding rings. Guys, come here. Guys, groomsmen, come here. Puts them on each of their ring fingers. Some of them are married. She has to take them. She tosses their actual wedding bands and then puts these. There she goes.

There she goes. Okay, this is not tradition. I know for sure this isn't tradition. In our family, it is. In our family, it is. All right, you guys are crazy, I guess. tradition i know for sure this isn't tradition in our family it is in our family all right you guys are crazy i guess all of like their family friends hold up they all have like multiple wedding bands no listen you guys you're gonna marry my fucking wife right now okay you're gonna marry her because it is tradition it is tradition we're all gonna be brothers we already are we're

brothers together just by being close friends i don't have to have you ever been to a wedding everyone starts laughing at him all the bridesmaids oh my god oh my god you have no idea he has no idea you're embarrassing yourself man i guess i'm embarrassing myself um i'm married to your wife is that what you want to hear lily how do you feel it's the happiest day of your life or what, honey? Beside myself, I feel, well, married. I feel, well, married. I feel, well, hitched. Holy shit. Okay.

This is for the men's three-piece paisley vest. Awful. Necktie pocket square set for suit or tuxedo. And it's kind of like a plum color. Here we go. This is from Charlotte A.K. Charlotte, Arkansas. Charlotte, Arkansas.

Three stars. The title is very small to size slash but awesome looking. Vest is awesome and cool looking in color and style, but definitely not near or true to size. I'm a 3XL and bought a 4XL, thought to be safe. I was looking like a Chippendale dancer, though, in that size and should have ordered a 5XL, I think. Because stone-cold Steve Austin looks wouldn't work on my style-wise either. But again, it's a very nice-looking gentleman's vest and would look good on young and middle aged men very well

I've never seen a clothing review that was like young and middle aged people would look really good in this like your age like if you're what you're what 32 yeah yeah yeah yeah it's the screen test for Queer Eye

it's down to Tan France and this other guy Dan R, Dan Rance. All right. And thank you so much for coming in, Tan. Oh, of course. That's, I really, hey, thank you for the opportunity. And I really, I've been really into, you know, meeting all the guys outside.

So yeah, thank you guys so much. All right. And next up is Dan Rance. Here we go. Hi. Hello. Thanks. Sorry. I just like to, I got nervous. And next up is Dan Rantz. Here we go. Hi. Hello. Thanks. Sorry, I just like to, I got nervous.

I don't know why I did that. Thank you so much for seeing me. It's no problem. The horn thing. Let's just act like it didn't happen. Totally. So I guess, can I just start? Yeah.

So we're going to bring in three guys and you're just going to tell us what you would do to kind of change their style. Awesome. Awesome. I can't wait. This is like my passion. So I just can't thank you enough again for letting me come to, you know, do what I love. Of course. Yeah. Here is the first one. This is Leo. Leo, introduce yourself and what are you

wearing? Hi. Yeah, I'm Leo. Nice to meet you, Dan. So I'm wearing my favorite Old Navy jeans. You know, I think they're just regular cut. They might be wider than maybe I would hope for. And then I'm wearing like basically just like a plain white tee. And you know, it's pretty well loved. You know, that's a nice way of saying there's some pit stains, but that's pretty much it. And then some brown loafers. Can I just say, Leo, first of all, so nice to meet you. Thank you for coming in.

The outfit, I actually don't have problems with. Can I just say that like, I think the jeans, the jeans, white tee and brown shoes combo it's a classic right you can dress it up you can dress it down you can you can wear it wherever you can wear it to a casual friday you can wear it to a barbecue backyard event yeah you can put on a suit jacket wear it to a bar but not on you fit not on you and there's the problem right not on the problem leo i a lady never reveals her age but how old are you i'm 31 and there it is and there i looked at it i looked at the producers like right i mean come on right and there it is so i think i don't have to say any more than that

i think that's um i think it's pretty clear Do we want to send the next person in or? Leo looks devastated to the producers. Yeah, do you guys validate or? Yeah, why don't you stick around? But yeah, just waiting there. Okay, thanks. Well, that was an easy one. That was.

Yeah, that was. Wow. What it was. Just remember, again, we're trying to, the whole point of the show is to kind of instill confidence in young men that are kind of struggling. Absolutely, absolutely. Here comes Travis. Trying to, the whole point of the show is to kind of instill confidence in young men that are kind of struggling. Absolutely. Here comes Travis.

Travis is an HVAC mechanic. And he just came from work, but apparently he doesn't, why don't you take it away, Travis? Yeah, hi, I'm Travis. I'm wearing my coveralls from work, but, you know, the truth is I don't really like the clothes I have. I didn't even want to show up to, you know, today in them. And on weekends, I really just wear sweats. So I would love some help trying to figure out what to wear.

If I was going to go to dinner or go to the bar, you know, something like that. Can I just say, I know you're not crazy about the coveralls, but imagine wearing a neon beanie over this with like some Doc Martens. And now imagine you're 28 years old. How old are you again?

Oh, I'm 31. It's hard. Well, now it's hard because it's like now imagining, this would look so perfect on someone who's like- Yeah, sorry, producer again. Dan, can we just, we just want to step in and give a note. Let's not focus on the age.

It really has nothing to do with the age. You seem to be really harping on people being over 30. You know, youth is obviously great, but let's try and work with where they're at now continue you're doing great okay don't focus on age don't focus on age that's funny um yeah it's sorry it's just you kind of come a little sidetracked here i mean youth is beauty that's all there is to it youth is beauty if you're over 30 you're a little dirty and not in like oh sexy how old are you sorry dan how old are you how old am i yes how old are you well that's interesting not really just answer the question how old do you think i am 35

i'll fucking kill you travis holds him back get your hands off me grandma Let me fucking out of He's 31 he's younger than you Tan pokes his head in Is everything alright in here Tan you have the job They'll fucking sign the favors

Tan's ancient Alright should we do our next one This comes from Patrick W This is a review of the j god jyg men's casual sleeveless denim unlined motorcycle jean jacket vest it's patrick warburton this is the actual patrick warburton it's just a nice coincidence it's actually patrick warburton or is it just a nice coincidence? It's actually Patrick Warburton. Got it. Two stars. Don't like it.

Small and the buttons are too big. Going in the re-gift bag. Yeah, don't like it. Small and the buttons are too big. Going in the re-gift bag. I just think re-gifting a vest is the funniest fucking thing all right johnson family white elephant gift exchange begins

now remember guys the name of the game is white elephant pick any gift from the pile and uh you can always exchange with other people so here we go go. Oh, I hope I get something good. Laugh, Lind, you wanna go first? Okay, yes, yes, yes. I'm a little nervous. Okay, I'm like going through, I'm like picking it up and performatively like shaking it. Like, oh, what's that?

What's in here? Okay, I'm not gonna pick that. It's a little light. Oh, there's a heavy one. That's a heavy one. Yeah, I can't bring that in my purse. And oh, it's a little, oh, it's okay. It's a nice, feels good.

Feels good. Feels soft. Okay. I'll go with this one. I'll go with this one. All right, all right. Open it up. Open it up.

Okay. Oh. Oh. Look at that. What is it? Holds it up. Oh. It's a, no, it's a vest.

That's awesome. Whose was this? Guilty. Oh. It's a, no, it's a vest. That's awesome. Whose was this? Guilty. Oh. Grandma Pearl. I'm so glad you love it. You love it, right? Yeah.

It's a vest, Grandma Pearl. Can I just say it is a capital V vest. Oh, I'm so glad that you love it. Put it on. Oh, you know what? I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait. I don't want to steal the spotlight.

I'm already taking too much time. So, yeah, Leon. Leon, do you want to go next? Yeah, yeah, I know what? I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait. I don't want to steal the spotlight. I'm already taking up too much time. So yeah, Leon. Leon, do you want to go next? Yeah, yeah, I'll go. I'll go. Oh, this. Great. I'll go with the small one.

You know, I don't really want to take the spotlight. Yeah. Opens it up. Holy shit. What? It's a Rolex. What is this? Oh my.

Look at this. It's like beautiful. Wow. I'm not even. Let me try this on. Oh my God. Who did this? Who did this? this who did this i did that i did that one yeah this is unbelievable thank you so much yeah i won't i'm not gonna exchange or

anything um oh well we don't know that yet you don't know you don't know what else everyone's gonna open up no i'm i'm not this is perfect you should don't just wait and see just wait and see you should take everybody nobody please nobody um nobody steal this from me. I really love it. Yeah, take it off and we'll see. All right. Dad, do you want to go next? Yeah, I'll go. All right.

Open it up. Keys. Turns it over. No fucking way. What is it? What are the keys to? You guys are joking, right? It's just the keys.

There's no way this is my dream car, Mercedes-Benz 380 SL. Look out the window, sweetheart. They open the blinds no giant are you guys kidding me everybody's so happy for him this is unbelievable yeah i'm gonna stick with this i'm not gonna exchange hey what's the mileage on that though what's the mileage we don't know we actually don't know recently restored i did the whole thing i went the whole nine yards that is as good as new as it ever could

be wow that's a great gift for whoever might take it later for whoever might all right grandma pearl your turn okay oh in my old age i don't need gifts opens it up it's like a beautiful pearl necklace oh my god because of my name the other grandma grandma, Josephine, is like, and it's Dior, darling. Nothing but the best for you, Pearl. Oh, I feel like a princess puts it on. Take it off. Sorry, take it off. We got to exchange, right?

It's the point of a white elephant. You know, it's like it's a little switcheroo. It's actually when you choose your gift, you can exchange if you don't like what you pick once you've picked that's it so somebody would have to exchange with you so but laughlin why would you want to exchange you said you loved the vest leon was kind of giving me the eyes i could leon you were looking at the vest no i was actually i haven't been able to take my eyes off this watch i i didn't even see you got a got a vest? I wasn't even here for that.

I got the jean vest. Oh. I got the jean vest. Dad, sorry, then it was you who kept looking at the vest. I don't think anybody's been looking at the vest, sweetie. Oh, so sorry, Grandma Pearl. Looks like everyone here hates the vest. Sorry, Leon hates it.

Dad hates it. Mom, you also hate the vest? Laughlin, where is this coming from? You said you loved the vest. I never said those words. I said it's a vest, Grandma Pearl. The fact that we have enough funds to buy each other Rolexes, Mercedes-Benz, Dior pearl necklaces.

Grandma Pearl, I know for a fact that you are leaving a fat trust for your kids. And you got me a jean vest? Well, not anymore, she stands up. I spent last spring at Cedars-Sinai and you didn't visit me. Everyone else did. There was a lot of traffic around that area

and I just, you, it's just hospitals kind of- You live within walking distance. Foot traffic, there was a lot of traffic around that area. And I just, you, it's just hospitals kind of walking distance, but traffic there was put her outside. They turn into an angry mob. They just kind of shove her out the door and close it. Oh, wait, wait. It's a little chilly out here here i gingerly put the vest on somebody across the street oh come on guys it's kind of cold puts on a vest hey you get kicked out of your family's white elephant

gift exchange too yeah what'd you get vest vest they just slowly start walking towards each other into the middle of the street they start passionately making out a delivery truck rounds the corner sees them breaks but there's the whole road is covered in ice because it's so cold oh shit oh no no no no hey hey you lovebirds get out of the street hear each other get out of the street oh shit how do i even emergency brake oh that made it worse we're gaining speed hey hey merry christmas to all and to all a good fest. It's the grandmother reading a story to the kids in the family by the fire. Closes the book.

Grandma Pearl. All right. Well, sweet dreams, kiddos. Kids are weeping. I have one more. This is for the herringbone tweed premium waistcoat. What a waste of a coat. From Amazon customers. So you get to pick a full name.

Mint, or sorry, Alyssa Mint Milano. Alyssa Mint, god damn it. Alyssa Mint Milano, four stars. I really like it. I was a bit hesitant about the size until I actually had the product in my hand. I'm 6'3 and wanted to make sure I got the right size for my height and chest. What this read to me is just like, it fits

fine. They weren't sure about it, but it fit. But they just wanted everyone to know that they're 6'3. Thank you so much for taking me out to dinner. This dinner was incredible. I have a PhD and the soup was fantastic so we should definitely do this again sometime should we get should we do dessert should we uh keep it going i don't yeah yeah let's do it does anything look good to you um the lava cake

looks looks pretty good i have synesthesia so i'm really i'm really game for whatever sorry can we just yeah i don't mean to be rude but this whole dinner you've been like bragging in the middle of sentences bragging in the middle of something what do you mean you just did it three sentences in a row so that's like where i why i feel justified in bringing it up uh before it was like spaced out a little bit more in between courses but it's become more and more it's like a snowball now it's every other sentence you're cool like i don't know what you want me to say oh my god i'm so that's so rude of me i think it's just like it's my way of just wanting to make sure that you get to know the real me um i don't mean it all for it to come off as bragging

um so i'm really sorry about that uh my parents actually are still together so do you want the lava cake or should we now you've crossed a line now you've crossed a line because you asked me to be vulnerable with you earlier this is our only our second date yeah and i was and i told you about my parents divorce so when you say you're not bragging but then you you're literally rubbing into my face that your parents are still together that was a traumatic period did i say that you said that just now you just said that yeah oh my god i'm so sorry i just it's like god you know this happens sometimes i just i like you and i'm nervous and i just want to be the best version of myself for you drummer there's something that you brought with you i thought it was like a gift

for me but it's really just been sitting next to your seat that looks kind of shiny what is that is that a trophy oh my god it's it's truly just like a reflex um a reflex to bring a trophy to a dinner it's like you know i get my keys i get my wallet i get my first place you know swimming trophy from ninth grade i can't help myself yeah i'm looking at the plaque relay so it wasn't even really you couldn't have done it without me but that's not the point the point is listen we can forget about it okay it's about us i want to know more about you okay this is not all about me it's not all about me. It's not all about me. Okay.

It's not about me. I'm glad to hear you say that. Yeah, I like skiing. Do you ski ever? Listen, like they named a bunch of runs after me up in Aspen, but this is about you. They named runs after you in Aspen? We're not talking about me, Tremor, right now. Come on.

You've got to be, you've got to stand up for yourself more. I want to, tell me your story. Okay. I love. I've actually written a novel, but I stand up for yourself more. I wanna, tell me your story. Okay, I love. I've actually written a novel, but I wanna hear your story. We weren't talking about books. We weren't talking about books.

We weren't talking about books. And you said I've actually written a novel. Oh my God, did that just slip out? It's not slipping out. It feels forced as hell. I like to see myself in the best light, okay? Okay. If you can't get behind that, then I don't think we

should be doing this wow okay are you breaking up with me we're not i'm not breaking up with you i'm not breaking up with you i'm just saying it's like if you can't show up for me the way i show up for me then what's the point if you show up for you so much already why do you need me to show up for you right they bring the lava kick i trained with michelin star chefs and they said that my food was better than theirs but let's just let's just eat and then maybe we should never maybe this is it i'm gonna go by the way you said you had a phd do you mean the degree or i have a pretty hard dick got get to know, by the way. Sorry, I have a petite hot dog is what I'm trying to say.

So you have a small phallus? You said you had a PhD. Did you mean the degree? No, no, no, no. A pretty Hector dick. Because your name is Hector? Got it. All right, I'm out.

I have a pink hexagon dick. So a vagina. I have a pink hexagon dick. So a vagina. Yeah. this shook me all week long essential oils anspa really sandalwood essential oil you've had that in your pocket the whole time you've had that in your pocket the entire time it was in here because i was gonna do a whole bit about this on the head gum podcast last week and i didn't end up getting to it but uh sandalwood essential oil from gaia labs or ghiya labs it's anti-anxiety it's anti you love sandalwood what's that you love sandal i do i mean

here smell this it's divine adam or otherwise and uh no it's anti-anxiety. It's anti-inflammatory. It smells great. And it acts as both like kind of like a fragrance and also just like, well, comfort. Well, me. It works well on, well, me. What about you? What's been shaking you? Two things.

One, I can't believe I haven't plugged these sooner. One of our listeners with the Instagram handle Bun Hugs, B-U-N-H-U-G-S, has an online store called Earrings and Things. Okay. Eared Things. And they're so cute. Like, and they're all little edible things.

So it's like there's chocolate cookie earrings. There's little donut earrings. There's little like, you know, like the little jelly hands when you were a kid that you would like throw, like you would toss at the wall and stick like i'm showing jeff right now the instagram handle is called bun hugs b-u-n-h-u-g-s they're all super super cute and i got the orange ones um but they have the same design as mine in green pink and yellow so a little lime a little lemon little grapefruit grapefruit almost. Elizabeth got the lime ones. And so nice. They told me that like on the pod, they'd heard me talking about statement

earrings. And so they send me a free pair. So I got free little orange slices and they're so cute. I love them so much. So if anyone likes a good statement earring go check them out that's awesome um so that's been shaking me and uh okay we're coming up on almost a year of of being you know and i really love traveling i'm grateful to travel and i and i put in it when it's safe to i want to go everywhere yeah so i've been really into like travel tiktok but especially solo travel tiktok um and especially women's solo travel tiktok yeah like and just kind of living vicariously through these women different women just like their experiences backpacking or traveling alone and and i just think it's so cool.

And so last, like I've now made the transition from watching like little tech talks about it to now watching YouTube blogs about like, you know, my week in Palestine, my week in Budapest, my week in Berlin, you know,

whatever. And it's just been like, it's some, there's something about that. So soothing. I was watching a Tokyo one last night and it's just like, it's been scratching the itch in a nice way, in a way that like while I'm watching it,

it's like, this is so cool. And when I can travel again, like these are the places I'm gonna go to. I'm like getting all these cool recs. And then as soon as the video ends, I'm like, here we are in my room again. Here we are. That's awesome. So yeah. I should check more of those out. Yeah it i love the what the tiktoks where it's like somebody on the top of a mountain

with like a tiny house and they go outside and brew coffee and then they finally show you the view and it's like all the way over a mountain or a lake um it's good shit that's a great recommendation let's thank some vi podcasts. Special thank you to... Ah, Brendan Metz. Aaron Carrico. Adam Shea. Agent Michael Skarn. Akosia Sarfo.

Alex Witt. Alton Burkholder. Alvar Wallstrom Lindell. Anthony Amadeo. Bagadoo. Bob Buell. Brad Hild. Brandon Rais...

Sorry, is it Raisin? Brandon, DM me on Instagram and let me know what the pronunciation is, but I'm going to say Brandon Raisin. Sorry, is it Raisin? Brandon, DM me on Instagram and let me know what the pronunciation is. But I'm going to say Brandon Raisin. Brian Dodd. Cameron Bradley. Chasen Bales. Christian Basketball. Chuck.

Connor Finnegan. Damien the Crustamienkirk. The what? Damien the Crustachmienkirk. All right. Daniel Bonney. Gentleman 13th. Eric Crustacean Kirk. All right. Daniel Bonney. Gentleman 13th. Eric Crust.

Fancy Octopus. Garrett Glasbergen. Go Pokes. Hallie. Hot Dog. Holly. Isaac Fletcher. Jake the Snake Radiff.

Jake Ullman. Jake Knight. Jamie Ponsia. Jared. Jason Araya. Jesse Tipton. Jonah Sanchez. Jub FPV. Caleb Luster. Jared. Jason Araya. Jesse Tipton. Jonah Sanchez. Jub FPV.

Caleb Luster. Katie Ross. Kerwin. Kevin Sunt. Kobe Holis. Lauren Malang. Malik. Mark Priest.

Matt Tasty. Matthew Lizama. Michael Evac. Michael Rowland. Nate Porteus. Nicolaj Biergard. Nolan Murphy more like

no job Murphy because he's absolutely still unemployed that is Nolan that's what Nolan put P Phoenix McVernon

Sabrina Sam Adams Sam Armstrong Sarah Kilduff Space Ant Spencer Stefan Steve Faraway

Sugar yeah and Falls T-R-A-K-A Gwilyabui Dyfus That's Austin Dude Fonz. Steve Faraway. Sugar. Yeah. And Falls. T-R-A-K-A Gwilyabui Diphis. That's Austin, dude. Theodore Giesen. Will Phillips.

Xander Madsen. Yarrow Bouchard as well. Thank you guys so much for subscribing to our Patreon at the highest tier. If you also want

access to comedy sketches, live stream Zoom parties, merch, etc., you can subscribe at patreon.com forward slash Riley and Jeff. Riley, do you want intothemiss.com? Sorry, intothemiss.net. Yeah, intothemiss.net for tickets.

We will not. Okay, so the week this is coming up, we will not be having a show this Friday the 26th. We are going to be taking a week off to add some new things, revamp some things. All the more reason to go again. I'm going again tomorrow. All the more reason to go again. And on next week's episode, I'll give this a proper plug,

but we will be back on Friday, March 5th. And there's going to be a special little discount for y'all Review Review listeners. And I will give y'all a heads up. On Tuesday the 2nd, because tickets are not available for Friday y'all a heads up. On Tuesday the 2nd, because tickets are not available for Friday the 5th right now, but on Tuesday the 2nd,

we will be dropping a code for any review, review listener to get a discount on Into the Mist tickets. You guys don't want to miss this. It's so much fun. You don't want to mist this. You don't want to mist this. So yeah, you can find...

Oh, and Jeff, anything to plug? None. Great. You can find Jeff on Instagram at Jeffrey to plug none great you can find jeff on instagram at jeffrey james and on twitter at jeff boyardee and you can follow riley on instagram at riley anspawn on twitter at riley coyote uh also the show on instagram at review review and the show on twitter at review review show thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode of review review we'll see you guys again next week arrivederci that was a hit gum original