Review Revue - Wall Street Tailors 2 (w/ Geoffrey James!)

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Geoff rejoins Reilly and Alf for one last ride, with scenes about tailoring, the managerial interview process, and the joys of French cooking. Giddy up!>>>>><<<<<Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnit @geoffreyjamesJoin the discord here!Produced by Grace Harper @chorlesborkleyAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating restaurants for a limited time.

Closing time. Say farewell to HeadGum and ask Marty to take one more break closing time get sued by McCartney just one more Margaritaville closing time stealing Alf's

identity holy freaking crap Closing time. Stealing Alf's identity. Holy freaking crap. Closing time. You can have that wagon, but you can't fap here. I know that I love Review Review. I know that I love Review Review. I know that I love Review Review. Review.

Closing time. One more hug for Chauncey cause that's just how Moe Pete do closing time chasing dice down alleyways that's why Nolan's still unemployed so start shaking your

asses put hatchets to your glasses and never stop dating your wife closing time every new podcast come from some other podcasts and yeah i know that I love Review Review. I know that I love Review Review. I know that I love Review Review. Review. It's 10 a.m. on a Tuesday, I'm Riley Amspot And I'm eating on a podcast Which famously is the best thing to do for an audio medium

I'm Jeffrey James and I didn't get any sleep last night I have a big digital countdown clock in the corner Just literally watching the seconds I have a big digital footprint you best smart believe in an oil filter Ms. Hanswell cause you're replacing yours I guess I feel like you're

minimizing my sexual awakening I've decided to make this episode of the podcast the funniest episode of the podcast oh are you serious? I decided. This sucks. What if we did that? This sucks.

Closing time. Disappear into the mist and get you a one-star review. I know that I loved Review Review. I know that I loved Review Review. I know that I loved Review Review Review. I know that I love review, review I know that I love review, review

I know that I love review, review, review Yeah, as I'm writing this out so far, your parents' divorce is going to be on one of the hats. That's all that's going to be on it. Yeah, can you let me know what's going to be on what hat, actually? Send a picture of him holding the ugliest fish he ever saw. Garibadare? Cheek!

Closing time. Every new podcast comes from some other podcasts. Well, end. Positive spin on the end. Fuck it. We played a four and a half minute theme song because who gives a shit? We have two episodes left and this is one of them. I'm sobbing.

I can't stop crying. Oh, them. I'm sobbing. I can't stop crying. Oh, sorry. Oh my god. Wow. That was from Bob Buell. He said, one last Buell review theme song. All he says is the body of the Texas and I hit the high notes perfectly, I dare say.

Hell yeah, you did. You killed it. Bob, that was amazing and I'm so upset with you because now I have to do improv and I have tears streaming down my face. I know. We should have played a Tyler one because then I'd be mad instead of sad. I mean, what do we say? This is the last.

Nothing funnier than me crying. Jesus Christ. I'm so sad. This is the last improv. This is the last like real. We have, let's keep doing the show. Let's change our minds.

It's great. After the fanfare, you just wanted the praise. It was all just a point for attention. That was awesome. Hearing all the references, you're like, wait, this is actually so fun. That made me feel really good about myself. Maybe we keep doing it.

Turn it back. Let's do another couple hundo. Hi, Jeff. Hey. You have COVID for the fourth time. Correct. Well, actually, I currently don't have it, technically. No, you're done now, yeah.

But I'm still congested as hell uh that did make me think of something that happened last night on our patreon zardi because that was bob buell singing a song sure was oh my god should we kind of send it out broader what do you mean? You had already left I had left last night So at 2 hours and 14 minutes I had COVID Riley left because she felt tired

I stayed another 30 minutes I had COVID-19 Right Here we go Can I share my sound? Oh yeah So this was a song that I had Bob sing.

This is just to get us out of the tears. Yeah. Can't hear it. We can't hear it love. We can't hear it. You can't hear it. Jeff just started

like the music. You were just grinding. Jeff's like bopping his head like he got so into it. And you guys knew that it was gonna be fast and you were like dude we can't, dude, we can't hear it. We can't hear it.

Jeffrey James computer sound. Oh, here we go. There it is. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you something. I think you'll understand when I say that something. I want to hold your glance. I want wanna hold your glands I wanna hold your glands

I wanna hold your glands Oh squeeze Squeeze that crease Of that thing in your pants And please Allow me Access to your glands. You let me hold your glands.

I want to hold your glands. And when I grab oil, I feel happy inside. It's such a slickness helps you soil. As I glide, as I glide, as I glide. Oh, it's over. There's more, but we don't need to cue the whole thing. No, I'm fine with you going ahead and doing more. Jesus Christ. See, now you're not crying i was gonna say like what's new with you other than the coven that made alf's like that was so moving allow me access to your glands

oh um so you're standing up with you fuck it what's new with you alf what's new with your ass i'm hosting a Friendsgiving today. I'm also doing a Friendsgiving today. Okay. Are you stressed about hosting? It's the cooking that's stressing me. I'm not hosting it. Well, I am hosting it.

I'm not that stressed. Well, I am hosting it. Of course. I have three dishes on the go right now, and it's going to get done. You're cooking right now? Nothing's actively in the oven but it's all ready to go the second we end here what are you what's on the docket we've got sweet potato rosemary rolls i am making a sweet potato rosemary butter roll a dinner roll i'm also making my

world famous macaroni cheese macaroni and cheese my famous macaroni macaroni cheese. Macaroni and cheese. My famous macaroni cheese. Macaroni cheese. And then for dessert, we've got a sage, a caramel sage pear turnover situation. Wow. So I've been a busy bee, you could say. And then other people are bringing- You've got nothing on kimchi mac. It's true. I always, every time I make the mac, I'm like, I might throw some kimchi in here and then i'm like don't don't gild the lily you know what i mean that's really yeah in college alfred and i uh made kimchi mac and cheese one time and we still think about it to this day it was so good yeah boston right yeah we were maybe drunk on jameson back when alfred drank maybe. Maybe that's why it was really good. Oh, it was a small chance, I think.

That sounds delicious. I'm just air frying Brussels sprouts, popping some balsamic drizz on. It's amazing when you don't have to host. That was great. I'd love that. We are bringing Josie, though, and so that's going to be a little stressful. Was she the main course? I'm kidding, of course.

We do do this game with her. We grab her limbs. We hog tie her, and we sing a song. We go hog tie, hog tie. Game. It's like a fun little thing. It's like we're going to spit roast her. But she is over a fire.

But it's fun because then the game is like she has to escape. You can't just say but it's fun when someone's like I'm really worried about the danger of it. We're like, oh, time to eat the little piggy. And then she's like, no, I'm not a piggy. And she's like trying to'm really worried about the danger of it. And so we have her on her limbs. We're like, oh, time to eat the little piggy. And then she's like, no, I'm not a piggy. And she's trying to not be eaten by us. She's like, no, I'm not a piggy. How does she convey that to you? Sounds like she doesn't like the game.

Biting, scratching, kicking with her limbs. She's like, I'm not a pig, I'm not a pig. Get me off of this fire. Is the Friendsgiving at RFK Jr.'s house by any chance? He's bringing half of a bear. Okay. And he's bringing like shots of alcohol,

but they're in like a vaccine shot and it's like, oh, oh, no, I'm not kidding. That shit'll kill you. And we're all like, you won't, you won't.

Nope, don't stick me. If everything you say is true, kill me. If everything you say is true. Jeff, other than COVID and you writing a song about glands uh what what's new um i mean since i saw you last or in my life in general both how do i stop sharing my computer sound also i got got it. Done. Okay. Thank you. Porn.

Just like. Sorry. I have a bunch of hentai playing in the back. Mostly it's been the COVID. How do I stop that? But you were in New York for a couple months. Eight days. Haven't been able to hang out with anyone other than my cat and my girlfriend who I see all the time.

So I'm a little bored. So this is great. Does that make sense? Yeah. I'd be pissed if I was your cat, but... And she is pissed because I'm in our attic. She doesn't like that you're in the attic? Is that where she goes?

It's like not connected. You have to go outside to go into the attic out back. Oh, really? And she doesn't like being away from you? She doesn't like me not being home, even though I am home. Is it air conditioned? No, it's not air conditioned or heated, and I'm freezing.

Yeah. Do you use it in the summer? Surely not. Yes, and it's so hot in the summer. Right. I was going to say, I'm a little concerned about the idea of you using it. All the time. No, it's good in like October, but I wasn't here then.

Yeah, right. You were in New York. Right. Yeah, correct, correct. Interesting. Well, speaking of New York. Yeah, I mean, speaking of New York,

we were texting about, holy shit, what should the last topic be? And actually, really quick, I want to say, getting ahead of it now, we have one more episode after this,

and we're only doing one best of episode. And at this point now, the links are live. So go vote for your top five apps of 2024 of review review because it's we only got one baby. So make your votes count. We only got we're only playing five. Yeah.

So you want to do five through one. And that's the last ever episode. So if you don't make your voice heard now, forever hold your peace. If you're regretting not participating electorally this month, let me tell you, you've got a second chance here. Run it back.

But we were texting about like, wow, this is the last like kind of real episode. And what should we do? And Jeff immediately picked this topic, which I'm like, of course. Symmetry. So we're doing, and everyone's been clamoring for it, Wall Street Tailors 2.

And in 2020, in March of 2020, or like January, I forget, we released our first episode of Review Review, which was Wall Street Tailors. And what a crazy five four and a half five years later because we we bang some episodes end of 2019 yeah here we are rounding it out with it's been five years sequel that's kind of fucking me up actually because i feel like because yeah that was just that wasn't doesn't feel that long ago to me. I was thinking during the very emotional song of like how much life has been lived since the inception of this show. Yeah.

And it's crazy. It's crazy. And I've said it before, I'll say it again. It is very wild to, I'm so grateful to have done both iterations of the show with you guys that I've been here since day fucking one the rock some shit old as hell and what's that

sorry I think I misread the tone you said old as hell I've been here since the start of the show I mean famously I was still in college when you started the show. You're a piece of shit. Anyway. I'm just a baby.

Alf, this is your first Wall Street Tailors episode. Sure is. How do you feel about them? What do you have to say? I know you talk about them a lot. So now I'm finally giving you space. I think it's Wall Street Tailors. It's obvious.

Not just any old tailor. This is like financial district. Walking distance to the charging bull and you can get a trouser. And you're going to charge like a bull into a tailor shop. You're going to fuck up all of the fabric. I think it's telling that ever since this episode, every topic we've picked has been this specific

because it's really easy to find reviews when there's only like eight stores that was a conscious conversation riley and i had in like 2019 we were like well it shouldn't just be like shoes it should be like really specific and not every week was as specific as this but i feel like it was a... It's one of the more specific. And then we had cinnamon flavored things. And so we really... That's pretty specific to me.

I mean, it should have been cinnamon flavored things in Delaware specifically. Retailed in Boise. I've only been to a handful of Taylor's in my life. In fact, once I went to a tailor. Let me be. So not a handful. So just the one. I can hold one tailor in my hand.

And I. Got small hands. That guy sucks. The guy who actually says that. It's me. I can hold a tailor in my hand. I am that guy. But I got some trousers adjusted so they'd fit me better with my ever-growing wagon.

And I found it a good experience. The seat is what a tailor will call that. Right. I'm like, just call it my fucking ass. Right. You're so mad. Oh, I need to let out the seat. You're saying I have a fat fucking ass.

Turning around. Right? Hey, we could just adjust. You're saying I have a fat fucking ass. Turning around. Right? Hey, we could just sit here. Just call it my fucking ass. What are we doing? Just call it my fucking ass. I'm beating around the bush here. A seat is what my ass goes on.

It's not. Within the pant. But, Alf, what do you think about Wall Street? Oh, what do I think? Let me fucking rack my brain. What do I think about Wall Street tailors? Let me fucking rack my brain. What do I think about Wall Street tailors? I'm saying it's like when you think Wall Street tailors, are you thinking like, whoa, they have an important job?

Because if the people who are getting tailed in those shops aren't looking at their best, then the money's going to head out west. Everyone's going to move to L.A. They're not going to be hanging around the whole fucking street. You're worried that stockbrokers are going to move to Los Angeles? If they're not looking right.

What I genuinely think is that job fucking sucks because those people suck and every single person who comes into those stores sucks and is like mad from the minute they walk in. They hate poor people

and I hate them. That's why we chose this as our first topic. Because we're like, we didn't want to punch down. But you are punching down at the tailors. No, no, no, no. Well, we're making fun of the tailors, yeah. Because if they can't afford to eat at France's Tavern,

they shouldn't have their own guns. What? Guns? Guns or gowns? Yes, because I'm worried they're going to eat the rich With a gun? With the guns Eat them with a gun?

I'm going to eat you with a gun Shoot them, spit roast them like Riley does to her dog And I want that on record Josie Yeah, hog tie, hog tie I don't like that bit at all I think it's really upsetting yeah because you're loves it no Daniel would shout out Daniel Daniel cut that out oh um Ramos R.I.P. not on the show who edits now Grace oh Grace oh oh Grace Harper oh everybody wants to

give Grace her fucking flowers every week week on the HeadGum Podcast, they're like, you gotta thank Grace. You gotta give Grace. Give Grace. Hey, Grace. You can just really fuck up Jeff's audio for the rest of the show. He clearly takes you for granted. Should we get to some reviews

of Wall Street Tailors 2? Yeah, let's do it. Who wants to start? I have one I'd like to start with if that's cool. Why even ask the question then? You're a piece of shit. Didn't even give a gap. You said, who wants to start?

I can start if everybody's okay with, like. This is for custom men. Two stars from Dave C. I mean mean i can't say it what is it cunt is it dave cunt i'm afraid so right the song yeah yeah okay dave cunt two stars it really is dave c five stars sorry two stars i'll give them three to four stars for service and zero to one star for quality i got a groupon for a suit here i usually use the same tailor but i thought i'd diversify the experience was okay nothing too different than usual except the craftsmanship was awful.

Usually, if you get a true custom suit versus what most custom tailors do, they usually just modify a standard set, there should be two fittings, especially if you're a first-timer there. The first fitting should be a shell, as it's never perfect the first time. I was surprised when I got called that the suit arrived and it was the complete product. The jacket was a little too snug, but the pants were awful. In seemed too high. The zippers didn't even zip. I asked them to fix it. Two weeks later, I realized that the people on this staff did the work and made it worse. These guys are not qualified to do major alterations. I thought about just returning it. Legally, I could have, but I won't bore people with how. But the guy looked like he was about to cry. So I said, F it.

I took the suit to my usual tailor and he fixed it. Overall, quality and craftsmanship does not warrant the price. Quality is a borderline garbage. The fact that he, like, that the dude looked so sad and was about to cry and he's like, never mind, it's okay, i don't worry about it is crazy to me i'm also just like you're getting a fucking groupon for a suit you can't expect it to be like you know fresh from milan well yeah is that is a groupon instead of paying or is it like a discount a discount okay so they're still getting paid.

Well, it's not a free suit. I don't know a lot, but I know it's not a free suit. I got a group on, so I got a free tailor-made three-piece. And I'm pissed about it because it doesn't fucking fit if you if you guys were if you were in dave cunt's position and you went and you were like this crashmanship is bad like it's not worth i want to give it back and you saw that the tailor was about to cry yeah what would you do i think i would walk legally i could have got a refund. But I won't tell you how. I mean, yeah, I would probably take the fucking shitty suit and I wouldn't even go to my regular guy.

I would just throw it in the trash probably. Well, what if it was like an expensive suit? I would be very upset and it would go in the trash. Alfred, don't say that. You don't mean it. I do mean it. Well, suits can be tailored to such a degree that it's unsalvageable. Right.

So I get that. Yeah. Once you have a trouser and it's a short, what are you supposed to do with that? Shut up. No, I know it's a short. And I really didn't. It's like, it's the last thing I wanted to. And again, if you don't want to bring it back here i totally understand like we will do everything we can to make it a pant

i know it's a short now but we'll do everything we can um so it's ultimately up to you i mean it's like it's gonna be no additional charge other than like the service fee that we do have um but if you you know it's like it's up to you. Whatever you want to do. Can you just let it out? We can't just let it out. Like, I feel like you actually, I mean, we will do things to it. And we will alter it so that it will seem like it's being let out. But that's not what we're going to do with it, actually.

Because it's like we took so much of it out to make it a short right right and i guess that's kind of what i'm hung up like i'm not trying to be an asshole here i'm really not trying to be an asshole here but like i guess that's what i'm kind of hung up on is like you measured you measured me right and you saw how you know my inseam and everything and like i'm assuming you could kind of picture my legs in your mind's eye as you were tailoring it. And it's like, at what point, like, did you do one leg and realize you fucked up and you were just like, I'm going to do the other leg to match?

Or like, how did, how did it happen? A guy walks in who's six feet tall, but his legs are like the length of shorts, like 18 inch inseam and the rest is all torso. So, hey, I'm here to pick up an order for Gerald. It's supposed to be a suit. Oh, yes, dear. Oh, my God.

What's up? This is, Chris, you won't believe I'm such a, I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. Oh, whoa, man, it's all right. What the hell is happening? No, I'm sorry. I walked in and just asked for my order and now you're screaming? No, Daryl,

I have... You won't believe this, Daryl. There was a bit of a mix-up. It's Gerald. Gerald, I have your suit. Which I said. Oof. I do. Oh, great. Awesome. No, but here's the thing. And I already paid, right? So I can just grab it because I'm actually... Do you have my suit? No, so this is... So I...

You know when you said, were you picturing my legs? When I was tailoring your suit, Chris, I was picturing Gerald's legs. Oh, that sucks. I know. That's what I'm trying to tell him. Chris, this is your suit. The pants shorts for you are short. For Gerald, that's like his wedding suit. I know that you're getting married tomorrow, and I am so sorry. I will do everything I can to shorten the pants for you. That's a lot easier than making them longer. Which I'm fine with because of that. You can shorten his by tomorrow, but what I'm worried about is if you can lengthen mine.

Can I see your pants? Yeah. Those are really nice. To me, those are really nice. But you don't want to wear them on your wedding day. No, not on my wedding day, but I'm like... I mean, it's like... That'd be good with a T.

Right. For me, those are the perfect pants. For him, those are perfect because his legs are like inches tall. Do you want to buy... I mean, do you want to? Well, everyone's legs are inches tall. Hang on. That's a good point.

No, I understand. I understand. How can I make this right? Gerald, I can absolutely shorten your pants. I can do that this afternoon. By end of day, yeah, thank you. Absolutely, I can do it by end of day. Chris, the issue with yours is that it's going to be a whole,

I'm going to have to make another pair of pants. I'm fine with that. I guess I'm really hung up on the service fee part from earlier. Oh, which part? You said it would be free except for the service fee and i guess except for the service you didn't articulate exactly a number for that so well the pants are free right my work on them is what cost and you're charging how much an hour or have you ever had him make a new pair of pants because that's not a cheap fee well i have it's this pair okay he made a new pair of pants but they're for you i thought that was just an alteration so i wouldn't even mind taking the pants okay perfect really can he buy those pants then you

make my pants for free i mean hey look i'm not the middleman i mean they're pretty short it's up to you chris i mean they're pants. So if you want to sell them. Okay. I'll just take them is what I was asking. No, I paid $300. $300 for an 18-inch inseam. Well, it was supposed to be $300 for a 38-inch inseam, wasn't it? That's true. He's right.

I fucked up so bad. I get what happened. I want the pants. $250? That sounds fair, right, Gerald? Sure. I can do $250. $250 takes out two dollar bills right, Gerald? Sure, I can do $250.

Takes out two dollar bills and two quarters. There you go. Okay. That seems fair. That seems about right. No, so I meant $250. He meant $250. Well, how much was your wedding suit?

They're your prices. How much was your wedding suit? I just got these altered, so the fee was like 35 oh okay i mean i guess i'm taking the pants you're taking the shorts right would they fit you as shorts 18 inch i mean i don't think so you said your inseam was 38 yeah so 18 and shorts might work i feel like it's still is it below i think it's above my name go go i feel like you guys are gonna make fun of me no put them on put them on i'm not gonna tell you it's my work here's the thing i know that they would look amazing on i was picturing his legs the entire time can i have the jacket too yeah i mean it's a cropped t for thee but go on what do you mean you fucked up the jacket too yes i'm not good at my job i'm stressed you see i'm in the financial district

if i mess up a suit i fuck up the stock market it's a lot of pressure it's true when when my clothes don't fit right i start tanking markets exactly and it affects like everyday americans in this weird way weird way and when my dad died and left me the shop he told me he said get out while you can get out of this business you don't want to be the downfall of the american economy oh um if the fall and the break in the pant isn't right right exactly right the stock market will fall and the economy will break okay so i'm sorry i messed up yours it kind of went from like a full suit to just kind of like a two-piece outfit it's a cropped short and a like a crop top jacket well you haven't tried the shorts on yet they are 18 18 inches. I'm a little worried they're going to be like culottes.

Okay. But slim fitting. Can I ask though? It's like you were picturing his legs when you made my pants. What were you picturing when you made the shirt? No jacket. Well, the thing is because I was imagining Gerald's legs in those pants. And yeah, does the top go with the shorts?

Even if they were like shorts for you, pants for him? No. But because I got carried away. Guy walks in with long legs and a skinny little torso, just an 18-inch torso. So I wasn't actually picturing Jack. Willem! You got my suit.

Willem, you will not believe the day that I have had cut to the three of those guys, like, in the bullpen. Bye, bye. Take, take. Take. Give, give. New York Stock Exchange, if it was a good place. Give, give, give. Does anyone have another one?

Sure. I have one. Trouble in Paradise, you go ahead. You go ahead. This is a one-star review of Wagner Tailoring from TT. TT. of you of Wagner tailoring from T T T T. Can we get a first and last for the initials T T could be something lewd or inappropriate again. Um,

some sort of titty, um, T T that's kind of blue. It's kind of low value humor. T T T T T. Nope. Just T T T T t first name t last name t okay so i asked for a first and last name for the acronym tt and what we've landed on is tt no first name t last name t t i like the tor Toronto International Film Festival without the F's on it. T-I? T-I?

T-I? T-I? T-I? T-I? T-I? T-I? T-I? All right.

T-I? I asked for Bruce's last name for T-I. And we have T-I. What you geniuses came up with is T-I. You're like James Cunt. You can fuck off. All right. One star from T.T.

Which also has the inflection built in. T.T. Very frustrating customer service. I came in for some minor alterations to a pant. Wagner could not have been less interested. He told me the amount I wanted to taper wasn't worth it. Apparently he was making that decision for me. He continued to throw up roadblocks.

The overlock stitching won't match. I reply, can we make it match? Wagner says, no. He said, just get a smaller size pant. I'd already worn the pants. Also didn't ask for that advice. To solve one of the issues he surfaced, he told me just don't wear the pants rolled up.

After 10 minutes of him fighting back at the alteration I was requesting, I asked for the pants back and he was more than happy to do so. After 10 minutes of him fighting back at the alteration I was requesting, I asked for the pants back and he was more than happy to do so. That was probably the nicest and happiest he was during our entire exhausting exchange. I would have respected him more if he said he just wasn't going to alter pants for whatever personal or business reason. He has every right to refuse service. That's crazy.

The happiest he was was when he was like, oh, please take them back. Oh my God. Also as if T.T. would have been satisfied if he just walked in with the pants and he got not doing it. Like as if that wouldn't have also resulted in,

he's like, I would have been so happy if he just refused to serve me without giving a reason. But no. But I mean, comparatively to being like, this is wrong. Get a new pant. It's not worth it to me. I also would rather just be like, no. I respect it.

Which part? If I, if you went to your mechanic for your car and you said, fix, fix it. And the mechanic said, not worth it. Cost more than the car's worth to fix fix it and the mechanic said not worth that cost more than the car's worth to fix it i'm not doing it that'd be fine that'd be good i respect that yeah and it's the same thing but for pants but you were just saying that tt would be upset i'm on wagner's side yeah which is not what you just said and if you went to a mechanic. Which is not what you just said. No, and if you went to a mechanic. Yeah. And they were like, it's not worth it. Yeah. And then they said, get a new car.

Get a different car than what you have. Yeah. Not even because like your car was like a death trap and like, you know. If it costs more than the car's worth, you should just get a car. What are you talking about? I just, my favorite part of this is him being like, just get a smaller pant. Just get a smaller pant. What do you think you do?

Oh, you should get somebody to take these in. These are way too big for you. You've got to get these taken in. You should size down. Like find something that's like more suited to your body. A buddy of mine's a tailor. I'll hook you up. This is really, you should get these taken in.

What do you think you do? Someone should really take a look at that. Yes, I'm asking you to. Yes. These look tight, huh? Yeah, they are a little tight. A doctor being like, you do not look good. Ooh, I could be jaundiced.

You look, like, bad. So, look, gentlemen, I brought you two in here. We never usually do this with new hires, but you both had extremely competitive resumes. And throughout the entire hiring process, every interview, I mean, it's like, it's been such a toss up the whole time. And instead of doing our final rounds individually, what the team wanted is to see both of you guys side by side in the flesh.

And it'll really help us make a decision about who to bring on. Corporate for Baskin Robbins doesn't hire often. So these are like really coveted positions. And you both are amazing fits. So thank you for bearing with us through this kind of weird process, but we're happy you both are here. It means a lot to us. For sure, yeah.

Thank you. Any questions you have, happy to answer them. Great. Fourth round interview, but yeah. We understand. And thank you again for your patience. It's taken a while. I'd do five if that's what it took.

Do five. I'll make a note of that. That's fantastic. Hopefully we won't have to get to that. But it took. Do five. I'll make a note of that. That's fantastic. Hopefully we won't have to get to that. But it is on the table? Well, Henry did say he would do five. And so it may not be on the table now, but the fact that that initiative shows,

you know, that you're really going to get out there. Shit, I'd do six. Oh my God, no stop. We definitely won't get to that. I'm serious. I love it here. I love being here with you guys. Well, thank you.

That means a lot to us to hear. Any questions for me? Yeah, I guess first question. I know we asked you guys this round one and two and three. But I guess side by side, they want to see like, you know, favorite memories of ice cream. What was the first time? Do you guys remember having it as a kid? How it made you feel?

Like, you know, talk to us about it. I don't know if you want to take this one, man. I don't know my first exact memory with ice cream, but definitely, like, I used to go to, like, the local burger stand with me and my mom, and, like, you know, if it was a particularly hot summer day, we'd get, like, a dipped cone,

and I don't know. It was sort of special. That's nice. So, you know, makes you think of being a kid again. Yeah. That kind of freedom. Or, you're kind of staring blankly,

so it's really hard for me to read you. I will say, Henry, you have such an expressive face. That wasn't enough question. What was I supposed to respond to that? Sorry, I'm not trying to be combative as hell, but like, I mean, like, obviously. Ooh.

This whole situation, it's obviously, it is weird, right? And it is making me feel a little uncomfortable. Well, I had somewhat of an unconventional childhood. Okay, Henry, my interest is piqued. My mother used to make ice cream from her breast milk.

Stop it! And so one of my first memories is of, well, sipping on a mommy cone and let me say, I've never had a better scoop since. Except for our 31 flavors, right? Well, you're exactly right there. You've never had one because of the memory or because you crave it to this day?

I'm just, you know, when you're a kid, you know, the grass is a little greener. You know, I think I've heard that. I saw a TikTok that said when you're a child that colors are brighter. And as you age, the world gets dimmer. So I did see that on TikTok one time. That's beautiful. No, it's not. It's kind of depressing.

Every flower wilts, every cone melts. Can I? Sorry. Hey, sorry. Let me just. Hey, Corbin, every flower, every flower wilts, every cone melts. Hey, you guys can have that one for free. Oh, stop.

You are so. Give them free labor. I've got plenty of labor to give ben sorry what were you saying can i see because i'm i just you have both of our resumes laid out here i have worked in corporate for other chains before i've worked at applebee's corporate i've worked at uh ben and jerry's corporate which was like an employee-owned company absolutely which i even have experience in the ice corporate ice cream world. Mm-hmm.

That's why you're here. I mean, we love you. Right, so why is he here? Because his resume is filled with a lot of just like odd jobs. Well, here's the thing, Ben. We love both you guys. It says fixing neighborhood tractors or maybe not. And he did that for nine years.

It's a living. You know, journeys aren't linear life isn't linear exactly mine was and that's impressive it is impressive but ben can i be honest about something can i tell you why we're doing this fourth round joint interview yeah i feel like while you clearly have the experience you know what you're doing i don't feel like you really want it. I have here in your notes from round two, we asked, you know, it's like, what would make you so excited about working corporate for Baskin Robbins? And you said, ah, you know, pays the bills. And so it's like, you know, to get this far and not have that excitement for the job that you want, it's not really appealing to this family.

And yeah, we are a family. Whereas with Henry, on his round two, we asked him the same question. Henry, you know what you said. You were seeking kill. We asked you, like, why would you be so excited about working here? You remember what you said? I said, if I don't get this job, I'll take it. My own life yes and that kind of passion

that launched him through to the next round yeah and can i just say that's a threat uh uh you know at the end of the day this job is about supply chain management and if trying to fix a tractor doesn't mean that then i don't know what it is. You think they're getting their dairy from overseas? It's not a supply chain issue whatsoever. I think you need to think outside the box here, my friend. No such thing as a single scoop solution to a multi-scoop problem. That's really good.

Under special skills, it says shoveling shit sure can i might as well i might as well put you in my shovel take you out i'm just playing with you oh see that's what's so funny henry then here's the thing henry has no idea what this job entails he has no idea right so that's the thing that i'm getting a little upset about if it was me and a different person with corporate himself if he doesn't get his job and i feel like with you it's like do you even know what you're applying for do you even know what job i'm applying for the coo position of baskin robbins hey henry what does coo stand for to you creamy oogie oogie ice cream you want that on press releases i mean hey that gets people talking

you think chief operating officer is interesting you think chief oh not really that's why i'm not that excited officer we're not gonna put that out but if he's hired then that's gonna be everywhere creamy oogie oogie that's a marketing ploy that's not even under the purview of what his job would be. He's not a CMO applicant. You ever touched a cow's breast? No. I have. I did once when we actually toured one of our creameries.

Okay, so you, I know you're talking about you've like milked a cow on a tour with a Baskin-Robbins creamer. Yes. Henry, what do you mean touch the cow's breast? You mean milk a cow? I don't have to answer that. You're not the one doing the interview. I'll ask.

Henry, what do you mean by that? I mean that I touched a cow's underneath where the milk comes out and it felt like I guess I thought it would. He just wanted to feel the texture. This wasn't in like a creepy situation?

Was it on a farm? Mm, well, the cow was on a farm. Okay. And you weren't? How's that possible spatially? I was reaching through a fence. So you were on the street? Yeah, a road.

We don't have streets where I'm from. And that is gumption. Like, like ben i feel like you're not seeing what we're seeing and maybe that's a little telling yeah maybe it is can i pitch something because i don't dislike you man you're you're really you you i don't dislike you as a person i'm indifferent towards you as a person i just don't think you should have this job and i think i should i have a passion for problem solving and a sort of joie de vivre that is intoxicating to people. And I think that you and I together could be a powerful partnership. Well, hold on.

Yes. And you're thinking what I'm thinking. We split the money even clean down the middle. We split the job. I know that to you half the salary is going to change your life. To me, that's going to make me have to pull my kids out of private school. I don't have kids. Exactly.

So I'm just looking forward to working with you, man. Well, that's a really interesting proposition, Henry. Sometimes you got to put a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of pistachio right in between each other. And that's how you crack a sundae. It's zinger after zinger after zinger. That's unbelievable. Is this job about zingers? Or is it about the operational organization? It's about supply chain management, dude. Keep up. That's the only business word you know. Hey, Ben, can I be frank? I don't like your tone.

You're being very confrontational. Henry has been nothing but lobbing us amazing ideas, amazing marketing toys, as you call them. That's not what this job is. They're all for free, honey. I never said that's what this job is. You make the job what you make of it. Absolutely.

And Ben, the reason why we brought you here like i said before your resume is impeccable would you be on paper the only candidate for this job a hundred percent it should be you a hundred percent it should be you okay but i feel like and i'm looking at corporate from behind yes they're all nodding this is also in this position you're not drawing people in there's not usually one-way glass in job interviews i didn't want to say anything well nothing about this is normal i'm used to the one-way glass did you do a background check on him yeah that's the thing i forgot to return an xfinity router two years ago and they will not stop emailing me i gotta get some money in that's your drive the overdue fees on that

router are incredible it sounds like you moved on to a different internet service so why don't why don't you just return it that's not like i need more cash there you're really mad at me man so you want to pay them i think they want money i'm not sure but i it would help you're not sure about a lot hey but there's one thing i am sure about it's that you gotta churn some to earn some oh that sealed the deal for me i was gonna offer for you two to split the job but churns under earn some is fucking amazing. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Why not just hire him as a marketing analyst and me as the CEO?

That position's already been filled. Ben, I'll offer you a consolation position. That's normal. Work your way from the ground up. Start as a scooper in one of our flagship stores. No. Okay. Press release a month later.

Baskin-Robbins hires new creamy oogie oogie. I think you lack vision. I think he would have been good at the job. Let's take a break. We're back. Huh? Alfred. That was fast.

Huh? Alfred. Huh? Read a review. Okay. This is for Alba Dry Cleaner and Tailoring in New York, New York. This is a review from a little somebody named Eduardo M. Eduardo. eduardo fucking hell really

okay the last ever review name eduardo No, no. Eduardo. Mmm. Eduardo. It might not be the last one because I also have a really quick one after this if we have time. Well, Eduardo. Mmm. One star. Gentleman at the counter was really nice and respectful. However, I brought a shirt that had some fresh butter drips on it.

And he wasn't able to remove it at all, which is totally fine. But he still charged me full price. I got home a few days later from my trip and washed the shirt, and the stains came right off. If you offer a service and you don't deliver, you either have to charge less or don't charge at all. But you don't charge me full price if you can't get the job done. Very nice man, but poor customer service trying to take advantage of people. We had Josie groomed for the first time yesterday. And because she was a rescue, yeah, we're good people.

Because she was a rescue, we didn't know if she had been groomed before or what that history was. And so we had like a mobile grooming truck come. And they were like, what's her history? We're like, we're not sure. But she needs her like paws shaved, you know, blah, blah, blah. And so they're like, well, because we don't know what her history is, if there is a world in which we cannot complete the service,

like if she's like barking or like biting or like not letting us do it, then we have to charge half of the service fee for incomplete service. And I'm like, totally understand. That seems foul. Now, thankfully she was a perfect little angel. Of course. And they did fine. but that is an example of like we might not be able to complete this thing or do what you ask but we are still here and doing our best so we will charge you half

the price for it versus we couldn't do it pay us all of it like you're saying fuck you guys fuck you guys i yeah i mean it's interesting right because it's like i'm on his side right like yeah of course he tried to get the stains out he did his job which was attempt to get the stains out yeah they didn't come out he charged full price he washed the shirt at home and then they came out you think maybe he didn't try to get the stains out i mean fresh butter drips i would not even have an expectation that that would come out oil yeah exactly like butter like just straight up melted butter on clothes. That's, I don't bother. I don't take that to a dry cleaner.

I don't try and get that clean. Yeah. That's done. Hey, sorry. I know it's taking a while. And I just wanted to say that. Don't worry about it, man. That's all good.

Thank you. I've worked in restaurants. I totally get it, man. Don't even worry about it. Oh, stop. Stop. Leon, he always does that. Nice. Yeah. No, I was just saying, I. Don't even worry about it. Oh, stop, stop. Leon, he always does that. Nice, yeah.

No, I was just saying, I know it's taking a while and it will continue forever. What do you think, ETA? Because it's like, we want to make the show. We're in New York. Our kids are finally, we're empty nesters. Yeah, that's funny.

And so we've been so excited to come to Sardi's and then go see your Broadway show. And so how much longer do you think it'll be? I think there is no E.T., if that makes sense, let alone A. So you don't think we're going to get the food at all? You guys ordered the halibut and the ribeye? Yes. Correct. And we tried, but it's just not happening tonight it's not

going to happen for you can i ask what went wrong or i mean you can try and cook it yourself at home and see if you could get it you know done but i think i ordered the ribeye because i saw the couple sitting next to us i mean they they're finishing up their food right now they had the ribeye and i thought we were able to. For them, we were able to do it. For them, we were able to do it. Right. We didn't have a lot of modifications or anything. In fact, none. I don't think we had any. I didn't say you had modifications. I'm just saying

we tried to cook the halibut, and we tried to cook the ribeye. Right. It didn't happen. Can you try again? We have to leave. We have to leave in 30 minutes. Right. Your side dishes will be right out. Yams and ham. So then what happened? Can we talk to leave. We have to leave in 30 minutes. Right. Your side dishes will be right out. Yams and ham. So then what happens? Can we talk to the chef?

I never do this. Oh, yeah. I hate being this person. She doesn't do this. I hate being this person. And you said you're visiting New York? Yes. That makes sense. Alright, I'll be back. What does that mean, Meg? I don't like him. I think I don't like him either. I liked him when we first sat down. He had that kind of New York style.

When he was like, what can I get for you? Bonjour. Oh, mon sui, my chef. You said you wanted to speak to the chef? Yes, I actually used to work in restaurants. I understand what it's like. Leon, not now. I understand what it's...

Sorry? Oh, he did the thing, honey. He did the thing. I know. It's like... Oh, my God. He's doing the thing. It's, you know, be our guest. Professor Crusoe. guest be our guest right that too that too the candelabra no i don't i do not sing

i'm not one of the sing well i'm gonna i'm gonna make you sing like a little canary um because leon i'm kidding but i i do want to give you a little bit of a hard time here because we ordered the halibut and the steak the ribebeye for me. This is not possible. Ce n'est possible. Can I ask what went wrong? Nothing went wrong. It's just not possible. Have you tempted it?

We tried. How? How? Can you walk me through what trying looked like? Because also I'm seeing like so many halibuts around the dining room. A ribeye right next to me. Someone fished. They caught halibuts are on the dining room. A ribeye right next to me. Someone fished.

They caught halibut. Right. Halibut get put on ice. Okay. Put on truck. Right. Truck drive to New York City. Okay.

We pay supplier for the fish. Yes. Fish get delivered. We know that all of this. You said walk me through it. Yes. For the fish. Uh-huh. Yes. Fisch get deliver. We know that all of this. You said walk me through it. No, I guess meant like in the kitchen. Did you run out of halibut? Is that what you're trying to say? You don't have any more?

Because I'll get the duck or something. Oh, it must have been that. Yes, we can easily. I'll do pasta. That's easy. So much looks delicious. Here at Sartes, I try to. Are you all right?

I... Desolé. De rien. At Sardis, we try to treat every customer as their own individual. Si? Si? Spanish? His tongue is swelling.

I'm kind of scared. So for you, you bought halibut. You bought le ribeye. He sounds underwater. And we tried to cook those. So you burnt them or you... No, we took... You paid for the fish and for the steak.

We haven't paid yet. We ordered them. That's a great point. I tried to cook. It didn't happen. But why didn't it happen? You didn't turn the stove on so it didn't cook or what? Everything else in this dining room is cooked. Right. And people are paying and you

are paying. You're paying for fish. You're paying for steak. Exactly. So we would like to eat those things. I'm so... so used a piece of fish and it didn't happen we used up a steak and it didn't happen if you want to pay we will try again if you pay twice raw or burn or burn is it raw or burn it's not that simple it's not simple can we go into the kitchen it's not simple i want to go into the kitchen? Ceci, pas simple. I want to go into the kitchen. I want to go into the kitchen. I want to see what you mean when you say it didn't happen. I've worked in restaurants before. I know what you're doing. Behind.

Behind. Yeah, see, he's doing the thing. He knows what he's talking about. Corner. Corner. Cut to the kitchen. See? It's a piece of fish and a steak, and it's like it's ruined beyond description of burnt or raw. What did you do to it?

I tried. Can you show me what you did? If you want to pay for another fish and another pay-by. I'm not paying for either. You paid for a fish and a pay-by. We used the material. I've heard about crime in New York, but I never expected to get robbed in here, okay?

Pardon, chef. We need some help over by the sources. Something went terribly wrong with the about crime in New York, but I never expected to get robbed in here, okay? Pardon? Chef, we need some help over by the sources. Something went terribly wrong with the Bernays. What happened? I do not feel within present company that it is permissible to say.

We're all friends here. No, we want to know. My husband's worked in restaurants. I've worked in restaurants before. I've worked in restaurants before. Il n'est pas friends. There are no friends. They are not friends.

Oh, I see. Chef, you approve of this? Fine. The gover, the vernet sauce, it's like in a whirl. Like, it's whirlpool. We tried, and I do not know what happened with the sauce, but it is not working tonight. Are you touching it?

How is it moving like that? The waiter will have to tell that table that they're not going to get the Bernays sauce. They will not get the Bernays, but if we want to try again, they will just have to pay for the... Yeah, they'd have to pray again. Yeah, exactly right.

What is happening? The sauce is a whirl. The fish, I've never seen food or any substance look like that. The potato, the pomme de terre au gratin just went out to your table. If you want to make the show, you have a Broadway show, go to the potatoes au gratin. We'll send you a creme brulee out to the table. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.

For paid. For paid. We'll pay for the items we received. Okay. That seems fair. We will not be paying for the halibut or the ribeye because we got neither. We will send you a creme brulee dessert on the house as long as you pay. For the creme brulee.

C'est vrai. Not on the house then, is it? Not on the house. Sorry. My English is not so good. What part of France are you from? Le east. The eastern part.

Okay. The eastern part of France. C'est vrai. Correct. A Normandy or? Non, c'est nord. Okay. I don't know France that well.

I say near Switzerland. No, that would be south. Can I watch you try and cook a halibut? It doesn't even have to be ours. If you pay. It doesn't even have to be ours. I'm seeing tickets come in. There are tickets coming in on the screen right now.

They want a halibut. I want to see you cook that. Make their halibut. Okay, okay, see. Butters up the grill, puts a perfectly seasoned piece of fish on the grill, and it cooks perfectly. Looks delicious.

That looks amazing. Can we have that one? If you pay, sure. We already did pay. We didn't pay. We didn't pay. You paid for an attempt. You paid for an attempt at the cooking.

We haven't paid for anything. You paid for the materials. We paid for the attempt. You paid for the materials. Materials. No, we paid for the meal. We paid for the meal. Materials.

What do you mean we paid for the attempt? I've never been to a restaurant. We used up the fish. We used up the steak. Then what did you do differently with that fish that you didn't do with that monster velocity? I do not know. Je ne sais pas.

Je suis fini avec toi. Avec vous. Sorry? We are not friends. I am ended avec toi, avec nous. I see. By the way, what show are you seeing? The Lion King?

Oh. Chicago. Chicago. Oh, like that's any better. Clearly not from New York. We are visiting. We've said that. You're not from New York.

You're from Eastern France. I'm from Eastern France, which is still better than whatever bumfuck town you are from. Bumfuck? Sir, I'm not paying for the appetizer. Leon, come on. I don't normally do this, but I'm not paying. No, they gave us the beet salad. They did give us

the beet salad. And I'm not tipping either. No, Leon, don't be crazy. You worked in restaurants. And I used to work in restaurants. I know what it's like, but I am not tipping. I'm sorry. This is unbelievable. Leon, this is not like you. I've never experienced anything like this in my entire life. Well, neither have I. I've never seen protein look like that.

You don't think I'm scared? You don't think I am terrified about what goes on it's just one meal it's not a big deal it's an expensive meal are you scared you're not even gonna eat anything was a 50 halibut oh it's 48 scared the halibut was 50 and it looks like i don't even know what to tell you wheat the bernays sauce was a whirlpool. I don't know what happens back here. Hey, baby, baby, baby, chill. It's okay. I'm scared, Liana.

I'm scared. Si, si, si, si, si. Chill. All right, don't talk to my wife like that. You mean we? Hmm? You've been saying si. I'm sorry.

You've been saying si this entire interaction. You're like, si, that's Spanish. Si, I'll show you the fish. Si, you can come in alright don't give him a hard time English isn't his first language no

I just think practicing Duolingo in the real world in conversation for what language would you do Duolingo for French okay

so practicing French I have one more quick one. A baby one. A baby one. Hit me with a baby. Hit me with a child's ass. So this was for Wall Street Valet. And so what I have found is that it's like old timey valet,

like Downton Abbey valet where it's like i will launder your clothes i will lay them out i will clean up like they offer many services under the guise of like we're a we're a valet you know what i mean not car valet like valet valet like decency like a concierge there's only five reviews and all of them are one star. Shit. And it's very clearly like a scam place. One star from Rima M. McIntyre. Rima McIntyre. Perfect.

One star. I agree with the previous Yelper. No stars. Bought a deal from Amazon Local to have a sofa cleaned on Thursday and an appointment was made for Monday morning. They never showed. I left a message and received appointment was made for Monday morning. They never showed.

I left a message and received a call back later that day. Apparently their driver was in an accident. Long story short, rescheduled for this morning. Never showed. Left message, then given the exact same excuse. Did you forget you gave that excuse on

Monday or is your driver that bad? Hey Damien, can you come back here? Yo, what's up? We're going to have to let you go, man. And I feel like that can't be a surprise to you. You've crashed the entire fleet of company vehicles for FedEx. If I can just defend myself for one second.

Sure, I'd love to hear it. I'd love to hear how you defend crashing our entire... We don't have this region right now. We're down. The roads. I mean, you're asking me to drive in these conditions, and then you're surprised when I crash. I mean, you know, I don't think it's that unreasonable.

I mean, I could be firing you for unsafe working conditions with how the roads are. You can't fire me at all. You can't also file a complaint against a union or anything for the weather being bad. We don't control that. I mean, you asked me to go out. I mean, it was raining yesterday. Yeah, it also wasn't raining that much. Right?

I'm sorry, was there water on the road? Yes, there was some light drizzling on the road. So the road was a little damp. Was the road wet? Damp. So is it that unreasonable? It is. That I totaled the truck.

I really don't think. Because if you know you don't drive well in the rain, you shouldn't be a professional driver for a living. I drive fine in the rain. No, you a professional driver i drive just fine in the rain no you don't that was also just yesterday i'm sorry um rodney i know that you asked me to not interrupt um firings like this uh but i just had firing i said that i said i'll have to let you go and you have to understand i have some important information that i think this goes beyond the firing we might want to have legal action get involved.

I have received calls from just about every house on Damien's route saying that all of their mail arrived opened, fully opened, torn apart. That's a federal offense, actually. Oh. So now it's not just firing, but we're going to have to pursue legal action to cover our ass, right? I don't want to have to pursue charges, but if we don't pass them on to you. Yes, of course. Please do, because if we don't pass it on to him, they're going to sue us. Yeah.

Sorry, am I fucking John Valjean? Can I defend myself for one second here? Yeah. How was you opening? Have you ever heard of Ted Kaczynski? No. No. The Unabomber, by another name.

Okay, I know the Unabomber. Would put a bomb in a package. Okay. The bomb would show up. Guess what? It would explode. And it would kill people. Right.

Right. So a lot of these were Amazon packages. Some of them were these were Amazon packages. Some of them were Care.com packages. And also we screen packages through x-rays to make sure there's not firearms or bombs being shipped illegally. We do that. I didn't know that. That wasn't communicated to me. You didn't need to know.

A lot of them were just like envelopes. A lot of them were just like kind of like, you know, checks. A bomb can be any size. It is not true i have seen very little bombs oh sorry rodney we are just getting some oh my god you're gonna hate this we're gonna have so much paperwork to send to legal we just got some mp4 files yeah it's a lot of ring cam footage and it is Damien forcibly breaking and entering. Oh.

Into all of the homes of which the family opened. Well, this is preposterous. You shouldn't use words you don't know. And you shouldn't drive if you're not a good driver. I'm just saying, this is... Was this vigilante justice to you or something? I feel like you have a superhero complex. Can I even defend myself?

Yes. Can you? Can you? We're curious. May I or you have a superhero complex. Can I even defend myself? Yes. Can you? Can you? We're curious. May I or not? May, sure. Because everything I've said has been used to incriminate me.

Because it's all been crimes. It's all been crimes and we do have footage. So this, I don't know how you can defend. I don't even know what to draw up. Like, in terms of the paperwork,

it just, this is just crime for crime's sake. I guess we'll just have to pass it on for a general investigation to the local authorities. There been a lot of a lot of issues and we know this with package theft right you put a package on the front door somebody steals it okay i was just checking you were just checking there just checking the inside of their home? There wasn't a thief in the house waiting for me. I dropped the package off.

See, I almost was with you to be like, I'm going to open the door and put it inside their house to close the door so there's not... The thief wouldn't be inside the house. The thief would be waiting outside for the package. And you left the packages outside, unopened, by the way. You didn't even bring them in. Well, because there was no thief inside. Why would I have to put the package inside if there was no thief the thief wouldn't

be inside that would just be their house what did you do for work before this i was the creamy ooey ooey at um basket robbins what how what it means. I mean, it was mostly supply chain management. So I thought, you know, transferable skill, package delivery. What is that if not? You should make a little bit of meaning from the fact that you went from that to being a delivery driver. There's no shame in being a delivery driver. I'm just saying it's a huge step down from being a C-suite executive. Even if the C stands for creamy.

There was nothing sweet about that gig, let me tell you. What happened? Have you ever Have you ever touched a cow's breast? Should we do our last segment? This Show me all We want

We should just play the actual song What are they going to do, sue us now? That's funny Honestly, yeah, because you're still going to do? Sue us now? That's funny. Honestly, yeah, because you're still going to make money off of the back catalog. Oh, shit. You guys were making money off? All right.

What's been shaking you guys? Last time we did this with Ryan Gall, you guys said something really fucking earnest. And then I had to be like, I like candy or whatever my what shook me was. So I'm not going to fall for that trap again so i'm gonna go first and say what's shaking me is um the last two years and i'm not gonna get too sentimental because we have a whole other episode for that but this has been a joy ride um in the strictest sense i feel like you gave me the keys and I crashed it. It's been so much fun. And, you know, the listeners have been genuinely like from the minute I started doing the show after Jeff's untimely passing, uh, I have been nothing but understanding and supportive

and liked me, which is huge. Um, because I'm nothing. That's all you wanted. If people aren't liking me, then I'm nothing. I shrivel to nothing. It's really bittersweet to be ending, but there's no other better way to end it than all three of us sitting here talking about cream. But yeah, it's shaking me that

the last two years have flown by and also it feels like we've been doing this show my entire life. Yeah. But yeah, that's shaking me in my ass. You go now, Riley. Make Jeff go last because then he has to come up with something.

Really profound and good. I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's like we do have another episode to get sentimental, but this is our last episode with Jeff, and now I'm going to start crying because it's our last episode with Jeff. He's getting put down after this. Say we'll give him one last ride feed him a bunch of chocolate finally living up to my nickname euthanasian who calls you that my fucking dad That's not nice. I was.

I, yeah, I'm very grateful. And I'm going to say more, you know, within this vein in the next episode. But to have both of you here. This show has brought me so much joy and gotten, you know, through COVID, through lockdown, through so much, through moving, through just like, you know, getting a dog. It's like so many things have happened and to have been with this show since day one and all the guests and to get to do this show with two of my best friends in the whole world. And no one makes me laugh harder than you guys. And that it's like, you know, the both iterations of the show are so awesome and so different and so special. And I feel so grateful for everyone who's stuck with us and laughed at our stupid shit and the guests who've come on and just everything it's been.

Yeah. I'll talk about it more next time, but I'm really grateful. So thank you guys for listening and thank you guys for doing the show with me. And this has just been like one of the greatest gifts of my life. And I'm so excited for what's next for all of us. But this is, it's a really very bittersweet, very, like I pulled, as I was pulling reviews in bed this morning, like I've, I read them to Daniel and then I had to like a wave of like, whoa, those are the last reviews I'm ever pulling for this show. And like, that's really crazy. Cause we've done so many and like, this is our what? 266th episode. It's crazy.

Yeah, it's really shaky. This whole experience has shaken me. And so I'm just very, very grateful. And I love you both like more than you two will ever know. I'm so grateful for you guys. What a relief to not have to get those reviews anymore, though. Jesus Christ. Now, Jeff, anything you want to say? Have you seen

Wicked yet I have my minty minty gash oh yeah before we start recording the first thing I'll say to Jeff

is Jeff is your pussy great I would never say that I would never make light of that I mean that's you know Cynthia made the choice

well I didn't know that was going on wow yeah i think we like i had my own ending of like hosting the show two years ago which is crazy that even that was two years ago. That's crazy. That's insane. And I think I was just like, oh, that would, well, what shook me is that the show is ending. But, yeah, it just was like, it didn't feel as sad because I was like, I'll come back on and the show is still going to keep going. But this is getting me. I'm not going to cry probably because of my dry eyes. Because you can't. but this is getting me i'm not gonna cry probably because of my dry eyes but the emotion behind

can't yeah the emotion behind the tear ducts is there and yeah it's just it's like that thing of like when panic at the disco split up no i want to i want to hear this train like post split panic i wasn't like well i wasn't a part of pre-split panic but i felt like i was right and then it's just like knowing that it was still going on still made me really happy even if i you know i don't know but then now knowing that it's not going on it's just really sad but it's also you i mean i'm excited for your guys's next show do you have ideas for it of course we do are you going to announce it on the last episode of the show or you're going to wait um so that brings me joy that you guys will be starting a new project that I'm sure you'll be really excited about.

You'll be blacklisted. Don't worry. Don't worry. I will let you within fucking 10 feet of that thing. But yeah, kind of like, I mean, I did move a lot during the show. It's five years. Most of it wasn't by choice even though everybody thinks it was probably 50 50 by choice and not by choice how many times did you move within the five years

still a lot by choice yeah one two uh three four five six you've moved six times in five years that is fucking well that's because i moved to an apartment right as we were starting the show because it was cheaper. And then I had to leave that apartment because of COVID and I was moving back with my parents.

Yeah. And then after COVID, vaguely, I moved into that house in Echo Park with George. And then we wanted to stay there for a long time because the rent was really cheap and it was a whole house.

And then they kicked us out because they sold it. And then we moved to Beachwood Canyon. Yep. And that place was awesome. But then our roommate moved out and that place was really cheap and it was a whole house. And then they kicked us out because they sold it. And then we moved to Beachwood Canyon. Yep. And that place was awesome. But then our roommate moved out and that place was not cheap. So once the roommate moved out, nobody,

we couldn't find someone to fill her place. So I had to move. And then I moved into a studio where I took Annie Zuber, Zuber Walker's old place. And then I made the decision to move in with my girlfriend. So we weren't going to live in a studio. So that. That's what a fucking journey that is

crazy of those the only one i wanted to move was actually the first one and moving into the house so two out of six anyway um but anyway i guess i'm just i don't know i'm bringing i'm bringing that up because that's part of the lore so much life no but it's so much so much life yeah it's so much life and it's also like every, the constant was like, we were doing this show. Yeah. I mean, all the way up until right before moving to Annie's. So yeah, it's just, we were kids when we started it.

And I don't feel like a kid anymore. No, I remember we started doing the first couple episodes at the downtown LA HeadGum studio. Yeah. And I was, you were commuting all the way from West Hollywood, which sucked. And I was working at Carpool Karaoke, which was a job that I'm very grateful for,

but I was like, not super happy at the job. And this was like the bright spot in it. And then during COVID, this was the bright spot in it. And then I will never forget. We've talked about it on the show before. I will literally never forget like the kind forget the week that you, me,

and it was Daniel's first time on the pod. And that was the night the NBA shut down. We did soap. We're like, how silly. This big sickness. And we're like, let's do soap. Because everyone's washing their hands. Everybody's overreacting.

These fucking idiots. And then before we released it, we're like, is this okay? Can we still release it? Jesus. Crazy. And then our live show that we did during COVID with Kylie and Ryan Gall and I think a third person that I'm forgetting. Sorry to them. Holy shit.

And then you guys going on to do a physical live show at Littlefield last year. With Kylie and Ryan. Well, there you go. Kylie and Ryan and no third person. You cut them. They weren't memorable enough. But yeah, I don't know. And I think the show's format was really good.

I think when people would hear the idea of it, like when people would be like, what do you do? And I'd try to not tell them that I hosted a podcast because that's the worst thing a man can do. I would be like, oh, I work in a... Eventually, if they asked enough questions, I'd be like, I host a podcast. And's – and they're like, what's it about?

And I'd say it's improv based on Yelp reviews. And they'd be like, that's great. Well, first you would say, I worked at a bank. And then somehow they cried enough that you were like, I host a podcast. Is that what you want me to say? The whole thing would take about 45 minutes at a party. They'd really have to want to know. They're like, whoa.

Yeah. And they put me in this little room with one-way glass and they were so mad and i didn't know why but yeah i just think this show is special i think of the podcasts of which there are too many this one even though we didn't you know over time have the biggest audience in the world we had really a really loyal audience yeah that felt like a big audience because they were so loyal yes yeah and dedicated and we never ran out of theme songs which is insane i was gonna ask we got close we've never run out of theme we never ran out that's actually crazy yeah thank you guys for listening and for the fucking art and for the jokes and the discord and the everything. I mean, it's just like y'all are incredible.

I think in an oversaturated market of podcasts, this one was small but special. Small but special. And I think doing it during COVID allowed us to get guests on who definitely would not have gotten it otherwise. I think when I look back on it, some of my greatest moments on the show were during COVID. I think because it was such a bright spot during such a dark time. I was so

feeling so lonely and isolated and just getting on with you every week and with guests and meeting people through it. We were kids. You heard it in Bob's theme song. Our voices sound different. I know.

It's crazy. Which is crazy. It's crazy. And I felt so green. And like these comedians would agree to come on the show. And I'm like, oh, my God. Why? Like, that's amazing.

That's so cool. I know. And for all three of us, from when we started doing the show to now, we all have tattoos. Like now we're adults because all three of us have tattoos and we didn't, none of us did when we started the show. That would never have occurred to me to say. We have tattoos and two of the three of us have pets. Okay.

Put me on blast. Yeah. This is just making me emotional about life. Cause I'm like, damn, I do feel older. And I'm like, maybe I wasn't present enough when I was in my early twenties.

Well, that's just life though. I mean, I don't think I'm present enough now, but yeah. Do 20s. Well, that's just life, though. I mean, I don't think I'm present enough now, but... Yeah. Do you feel... Yeah, that's cool. My parents' divorce hoodies.

I guess that was for our Patreon, but kind of came from this show. Alf, we never made this merch, but I think About the Fish would have been great merch. Yeah. I think, you know, I think... It's never too late. That's so true. What a time to put out merch. Truly a fire sale.

No, I mean, I think I think like, you know, to your point, like, you know, even with the merch, it's like the the experience of doing the live show in New York and having like being able to put faces to names of like the people who listen every week and send theme songs and participate and everything like it. You know, I. Yeah, I mean, I know I kind of hopped on halfway through, but like for me, it was it was never about the like, you you know the number of listeners i mean it's a fucking improv podcast there was always going to be a a pretty tight ceiling on like listenership um and like you know it just being able to like meet people face to face and realize like oh like you know this is this makes it worth it. Like I, you know, it's just a great

excuse for us to be goofy and fuck around for a couple hours every week. But, you know, to have like people be willing to go out at nighttime and travel to a theater to see it happen live was just was unreal. And I will never not be grateful to to everybody who who listened and you know to the people who made comments on reddit after i took over um saying like it's bad now like i miss jeff like the show's bad since jeff left like i guess i you were always i guess you got what you wanted huh huh, bitch? Oh, my God. You're happy now, fucker? Well.

Oh, this is sweet. I haven't looked at the reviewer we read in a long time, and it says, best episode to make you feel better. What? Oh, yeah, someone posted that after the election. Yeah. Not this one. That's very nice.

Not this one. Definitely not this one. I mean, we're definitely going to, if you guys have stayed this long into the up to hear us wax poetic about this show. Wax off. And if not, if you're here, if you've stayed this long to hear us jack each other off. Thank you. So, Ernest, thank you. Thank you.

It means a lot. Well, fuck, man. Jeff, where can people find you? Who cares? Okay. The show's ending, which means there's no joy in the world anymore. And perfect timing, too, as the United States' fragile democracy gets its bottom card pulled out from the house of. Listen to the HeadGum Podcast. podcast if you want or don't it's kind of just a worse concept than this um i guess you can find off on instagram at alfred

in it you can buy the show on instagram as long as it lasts that review review reddit r slash review review and jeff and I still have our Patreon, patreon.com slash Riley and Jeff monthly Zoom parties. That's going to go bizarrely. If you missed the spirit of the early review review, I feel like it's alive and well over there still. 100%. And for those of you in the Discord being like, what's happening

with the other tiers? That's a great question that will be addressed. You can find Riley on Instagram.com, just the web browser not the phone app at riley and spa and no longer on twitter.com now known as x at riley or coyote but you can find her on blue sky at riley and spa or at riley coyote they need really need to clean up those but anyway if you look up riley and or RileyCoyote, I'm there. And on TikTok on the clock till the party don't stop at Riley Anspa.

And as we say every single week on the show, we're always saying it. We're never not saying it. Arrivederci! Arrivederci! Arrivederci! Bye! Until next time! Closing time Say farewell to Headgum And ask Marty to take one more break Closing time

Get sued by McCartney Just one more Margaritaville Closing time Stealing elf's identity Holy frickin' crap Closing time You can have that wagon But you can't fap here

I know that I love review review I know that I love review review I know that I love review review review Review, review, review Closing time One more hug for Chauncey Cause that's just how Moe Pete do Closing time Chasing dice down alleyways

That's why Nolan's still unemployed So start shaking your asses Put hatchets to your glasses And never stop dating your wife Closing time Every new podcast Come from some other podcast and

yeah. I know that I love Review Review. I know that I love Review Review. I know that I love

Review Review. Review. I know that I love Revue, Revue, Revue. It's 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. I'm Riley Amspot, and I'm eating on a podcast, which famously is the best thing to do for an audiopedia. I'm Jeffrey James, and I didn't get any sleep last night. I have a big digital countdown clock in the corner. Just literally watching the seconds tick by.

I have a big digital footprint. You best smart believe in an oil filter, Ms. Hanspa. Because you're replacing nerves. I guess I feel like you're minimizing my sexual awakening. I've decided to make this episode of the podcast the funniest episode of the podcast ever. Oh, are you serious? I've decided.

This sucks. What if we did that? Closing time. Disappear into the mist and get you a one-star review. I know that I loved Review Review. I know that I loved Review Review. I know that I love Revue, Revue, Revue. I know that I love Revue, Revue. I know that I love Revue, Revue.

I know that I love Revue, Revue, Revue. Yeah, as I'm writing this out so far, your parents' divorce is going to be on one of the hats. That's all that's going to be on it. But go on. I know that your parents' divorce... Yeah, can you let me know what's going to be on what hat, actually? Send us a picture of him holding the ugliest fish you've ever seen.

Garibadare? Cheat! Closing time. Every new podcast comes from some other podcasts. Well, end. That was a Hiddem original.