Review Revue - Wigs
Episode Date: November 17, 2020Reilly and Geoff read reviews about Wigs and discuss male models, costume parties, and sad dads!Subscribe to Reilly & Geoff's new Patreon!Follow Reilly and Geoff:IG: @reillyanspaugh&...nbsp;& @geoffreyjamesTwitter: @reilecoyote & @dontplaynojamesAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Original.
Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now.
Let's break it down.
My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.
And don't forget the fries and a drink.
Sound good?
At participating restaurants for a limited time. I just wanna know how you feel
I want a love that's so proud and real
You make me wanna go out and steal
I just wanna rip you
I just wanna find my way
Thursday, November 12th, we missed 11-11-11-11.
Should we, what should we do?
Should we just cancel this ep then?
To me, this is over, yeah.
It's like, oh, it's a no from me, dog.
Because it wasn't November 11th at 11-11.
So then what's the point of doing anything, I guess,
if it wasn't November 11th at 11-11?
That was, and I'm glad that you asked that,
because I was about to ask the exact same thing. wonder if yeah no what were you gonna say you go
my year 60 seconds sorry 120 seconds your whole year yeah because it's 11 11 the minute of 11 11
on 11 11 a.m and p.m and that's a year for you no i'm listening no because you you said it right you said it best
when you said why what's the point of doing anything if it's not 11 11 on 11 11 uh-huh
and then you said that's a year for you and yeah because if that's the only time that you do
anything is a year the rest is hibernation you are asleep for 364 days yeah well basically 365
because you're just awake for a minute okay that's actually
interesting what you say yeah because maybe it's 365 what do i do for that minute well it's
obviously like it's 365 days like you said of you know tension built up so i gotta obviously
like have to kind of self-complete explore my body in a way i mean i only have two minutes to do it. So not even consecutive.
I hate this.
Yeah, so that's awful.
That's absolutely not what I needed to hear today.
What have you been up to?
You're home.
I slept 12 hours last night.
I fell asleep at 10 and woke up at 10.
So that must have been necessary.
That's really early for you to fall asleep.
I know.
For you.
It really is.
I don't know.
Look, every time I come home,
like going from Pacific to Eastern time is a nightmare
and I have to do it way too often.
He's just bi-coastal in a way.
Oh my God.
Imagine being a jet setter.
It's like, me, I have to change time zones like nobody's business.
I'm going hither and thither.
I don't know which way is that, which way is down.
I'll take a mimosa and a wet towel, please.
Hither and nither?
Thither.
Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool.
Hither and nither region.
Yeah, I'm bi-coastal if you count the LA concrete river and the Sugarin River.
Because I'm nowhere near the ocean
on either side.
And that's what we do.
Yeah.
I do count that as my goal.
Yeah, I just am back home
for the holidays
and I have to quarantine
in a guest bedroom
for two weeks
because you can't get tested
in Ohio.
Thanks, DeWine.
I woke up.
Okay.
That's one thing.
I said to myself,
big stretch.
Really?
I said, big stretch. Yeah. And and then i uh yeah i guess that was
it and that's it well it is like 11 30 for you it's like 1 30 for me but we're not here to talk
about that we are here so we again we put out the call on our patreon patreon.com for slash
riley and jeff for those who want to contribute to review your topics and many other content.
And we got some submissions.
Some really good submissions.
And the one that we picked is Wigs.
Thanks to Nikki Richards.
Who?
We are talking about, obviously Nikki, right?
Nikki Richards.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, the thing is,
we've kind of had to memorize our VI podcast names.
So when someone mentions a Patreon member who I haven't memorized, I'm like, oh, we
have a new one.
But no, Nikki's probably a day one.
So Jeff, talk to me about wigs.
No response.
I'll just cut that out.
Wigs.
You have to keep it now.
Talk to me about wigs.
What's my experience with wigs?
Is that the question?
I just said talk to me about them.
It can be your experience or not.
I just want you to hear you wax.
I want to hear you wax wigs.
Wax wigs.
Have you ever waxed a wig?
So you buy the wig, you put it on, and then you kind of go, you know what?
I think I'm going to wax this off.
You're giving me nothing, man.
I got to go with the fact that I maybe wore a wig for a halloween costume
of your but you know i don't know if you had this experience or if you did this in college but in
college like you know i feel like women would just like wear wigs to parties especially like
frat parties when i was in a fraternity for like a semester i don't know what the obsession is with
like women needing to have pink, purple,
or blue hair instead of their normal hair.
But I saw women wore them all the time,
even not Halloween.
Like this is like, this will be a Saturday in March.
I never did that, but I understood it.
It's fun.
A wig is like a mask in a way.
Do people wear masks in March?
That's like way weirder.
No, I don't.
I mean in the way that it's like,
it's like, I don't know.
It's like you put on different hair
and suddenly it's like,
oh, I can be different.
It's fun.
I get it.
It's fun.
I guess I'm just jealous.
You can wear wigs.
I don't know if I can.
You can.
And it's not like a gender
thing it's more like i'm not the guy who can wear a wig have you even tried um hmm that's interesting
so no no i haven't huh huh well that's an that's oh that's cool now that's something that's something
um if you if you were to try a wig which wig would you like just one okay order a wig sure
prep it while you're in quarantine and then the day that you can finally be with your family
just walking with the wig um i might have to do that don't say anything about it like just
don't comment on it at all so i walk in it's like a pink bob and then they're just like
jeffrey it's funny i'm like what's funny and i just stare at them for like an uncomfortable
amount of time and they're like nothing no nothing's funny um you want to have lunch
um i love a wig i wore a wig this past halloween yeah daniel and i were chicago
yeah i think wigs are pretty amazing. I think they can be really fun.
I think they are
great for people who
want to switch up different hairstyles, don't want to
wear their natural hair. People with bad hair.
That's why I'm suggesting you
maybe get the bob.
I thought I liked
my hair and now I'm questioning
because of that one comment.
That one comment is going to stick with me for the rest of the week.
It's the only thing.
I wish I was the girl who wore like a pink bob to a party just because.
Well, you didn't get invited.
But that wasn't the main reason, weirdly enough.
The main reason is wig.
They're hot.
They get itchy.
Sure.
They get sweaty. Okay. But the feeling the feeling oh my god on halloween
when i finally took that puppy off the freedom the rush of air that rush of air it is some
good shit there's nothing like taking a wig cap off you're dealing with some wig air gusty
wag wag wag that's some wig air there's some w air gusty. There's some wigs in this house.
There's some wigs in this house.
No, that's the other thing.
It's like, it's sweaty enough already going to a party
or going to a Halloween party or going to whatever.
How do people not get insanely irritated, itchy, sweaty, hot?
Do they?
Do they just power through?
Well, I mean, I wouldn't know because again,
those parties I wasn't-
Privy to, yeah.
So it's like, I guess if I were there, if I could see how people were dealing with it, like I'd have a better answer.
But I'm waving through a window.
So it's like.
I'm starting to realize why you weren't invited to the parties.
A dear Evan Hansen reference on a Thursday after the most important election of our country's history.
You've moved on so fast.
Wave in.
Wave in.
So I'm kind of standing outside with the Dear Evan Hansen cast in a pink bob.
Like Christmas Carol style.
And you don't mean cast like the cast of the show is there.
You mean you fell out of a tree
just like Evan Hansen.
Well, also the cast is there.
Holy shit.
They pushed you out of the tree.
I have the original Broadway cast
of Dear Evan Hansen with me
and I'm in a cast
and a wig and a hat.
So you're wearing a wig and a hat.
I think we should do a hat.
I think we should do,
I almost said a hat party.
We should do a wig party.
Everyone has to wear
slash gets to wear a wig
I have been to a wig party
okay
it was fun
when was it?
it was a couple years ago
it was the one party
I was invited to
come on
let's like
keep the energy up
let's be fun
let's do the improv
I've learned to slam
on the brakes
before I even
turn the key
before I make
the mistake
before I lead with the worst of me Turn the key. Before I make the mistake.
Before I lead with the worst of me.
Give them no reason to stare.
No slipping up while you slip away.
I got nothing to share.
No, I got nothing to say.
Step out, step out of this life. life you keep getting burnt shall we take a break
let's sit in it for a second let's do it no i need you to save me from myself
yeah let's take a break marty seconds ago you were ashamed now you're belting it now i figure hey if i'm not invited to the
party i bring the party all right a karaoke broadway extravaganza my place tonight 10pm everyone's invited
no test no mask no distancing
outside or inside
it's cramped yeah it's gonna be cramped
we're in a guest half bath and we're
singing karaoke what is that what do you mean
just a toilet
no shower
no shower no shaving room
jeffree
what dude
well this is a review of oh here we go it's again one of these amazon things that is way too long
pick this one okay so are you ready for the title i'm ready v c k o vO No. Pastel wavy through a wig
oh
Pastel wavy wig
Pastel wavy wig with air bangs
women's short bob pink wig
curly wavy shoulder length pastel bob
synthetic cosplay wig for
girl. Colorful costume
wigs. 12 inches
pink. Records. Records.
LLC. Limited to limited.
The show.
So that's the title of it.
And then this is a review from-
No, it cannot be.
This review is from Millenia H.
Millenia Halkin.
Millenia Halkin writes,
it looks better on the mannequin than it does on me.
LOL.
I personally have a big head
and a lot of thick hair that isn't straight so i had to straighten
my hair and put it up in a certain way to put it on and it mostly just sat on top of my head
it makes me i'm imagining like did you ever watch america's next top model no okay fair fair fair
but like in like some of the final it's like i forget like maybe like final two or final three but like their challenge is like go like go on a go see which is like going to all these a go see i think that's what it's called
go go dash c s e e and um i think that's what it's called please correct me if i'm wrong anyone who
knows that show um better than i but like you know these models would take their portfolios
and they'd go to these different brands and it would be it's basically like a modeling audition of sorts it's
like you go and you share your portfolio and it's like oh should we put you on this campaign or not
and imagining like it's like an agent like being like okay trent we really need to get this ralph
lauren deal all right we really really need to get it you are our top top model it would mean a lot
to this agency if you went
out and booked this we could really really use this to boost our numbers to boost our credibility
and we think you have just the right vibe for it um so we're gonna send you out in a go-see to see
them how do you feel trent is also just like like people look at him and faint because he's so
handsome i don't know trent come on come on trent You know how beautiful you are. I just, I don't know. My confidence is low.
My confidence is low.
Trent, buddy, open the curtain to the window.
Trent, look outside right now.
Yeah.
Look out onto the street.
Yeah.
Tap on the glass.
A group of people look over.
They burst into tears.
Oh my God.
He's beautiful.
He's beautiful.
See, Trent, that's what I'm talking about, buddy.
Look at that.
Look at the effect you have on people.
What do you mean your confidence is low?
I'm blind to it.
Trent, if I looked like you, I wouldn't need to have a job.
I wouldn't need to run a boutique modeling agency.
I know.
I know.
And thank you for saying that.
But like, if I can be honest with you steve it's
it's a girl i'm in love and she doesn't even see me what happened she doesn't even maybe because
she's just blinded by how beautiful you are trent come on tell tell uncle steve what happened i was
at the farmer's market right oh don't i know I know it. There's this woman and she's selling jams.
Cut to the farmer's market.
Okay, thank you so much.
That'll be $5.25 for the blackberry.
All right, have a good day.
Hi, can I help you with anything?
Eyes.
You're high?
I'm hot.
No, sorry.
I have chronic dry eyes, so my eyes are a little red.
I'm not high.
No, your eyes are...
I like them.
That's very nice.
Thank you. So if you want to check out our jams, we have... I'll take them all. I'll take a lot red. I'm not high. No, your eyes are, I like them. That's very nice. Thank you.
So if you want to check out our jams,
we have poison berry.
I'll take them all.
I'll take a lot of it.
We have strawberry.
I'll take a lot of it.
You don't, come on.
It's, uh-huh, you don't have to do that.
Cash fine or?
Yeah, that'll be $785, but yes.
That's nothing to me.
Gives it to her.
Wow, thank you.
This is incredibly generous.
Enjoy the jam. I'll give you a stick of honey for myself i mean i figured getting this for a party
or yeah yeah a party do you like those uh who doesn't like a party yeah i love parties um
do you want to listen uh sorry i just got to get my boyfriend Aiden Aiden can you help
sorry do you have
Aiden
do you have a car
do you need help
loading the jam into the car
I walked here
so I might have to make
a couple trips
um
god yeah
Aiden honey would you mind
yeah no totally
if only I looked like Aiden
right
if only I looked like Aiden
holy shit
you're
you're Aiden
you're Trent Silverstein
you're Aiden last name
her boyfriend
I am
wait who's Trent Silverstein honey you don't know who Trent Silverstein. You're Aiden last name, her boyfriend. I am. Wait, who's Trent Silverstein? Honey, you don't know who Trent, Trent Silverstein is like the biggest
male model right now. Oh, wow. Sorry. I, I'm not really into fashion or advertising. Doesn't
matter. You know how many modeling gigs you get? Cause you'll never be Aiden. Oh, right. I'm not
a model. I gotta go. I gotta go. You know, I'm just, Well, did you get your jam? I left it on the table.
You bought $700 plus worth of jam and you didn't even take it home?
I was flustered.
You should have seen this guy.
What did he look like?
Have you ever seen Jason Segel in I Love You, Man?
Yeah.
He was like that, but shorter.
Dude, he's got nothing on you, buddy.
You're like handsome Squidward in the flesh.
He's got her, but does he have a Ralph Lauren go-see at 2 p.m. today?
I don't think so.
He's got jam.
All right, I'll go, and we'll see at the go-see.
Cut to the go-see.
All right, next.
Can we please bring in... Oh, Trent Silverstein is coming in.
Hello, Trent.
So happy to see you.
Thanks for coming in today.
Yeah, you're welcome.
If you just hand us your portfolio, that'd be great.
Here, yeah, here you go.
Some of my newer stuff.
The S opens it up.
One of the assistants faints.
Okay.
And there goes Lisa.
All right.
This must happen to you often, Trent. This must happen to you quite a bit. It happens a lot. I'm And there it goes, Lisa. All right. You know, this must happen to you
often, Trent. This must happen to you quite a bit. It happens a lot. I'm desensitized to it.
So, I mean, your portfolio looks pretty great to us. I think all we would ask is if you,
could you just kind of give us a little, give us a little walk, give us a little Ralph Lauren walk.
Can you just give me a second? We actually, we have 30 more people waiting in the hallway, so we don't have that much time. Okay. So just like a couple seconds. Can you just give me a second? We have 30 more people waiting in the hallway,
so we don't have that much time.
Okay, so just a couple seconds.
Can you just give a little walk?
Okay, I'll give you five seconds.
All right.
Five, four, three, two.
Okay, I got it.
Time to start walking.
I got it, I got it.
He goes to one end of the room,
takes one step and just collapses.
Ah, I forgot how to walk.
I'm so in love.
Okay.
There we go. There we go. All right. I'm going to need...'m so in love there we go
alright I'm gonna need
get on the phone
hey Steve oh hey
Naomi what's going on did you see my boy Trent
I see Trent Trent is
collapsed on the floor of the studio right now
jams yeah he's just saying jams
over and over that's all he's saying is just jams
oh I know what this is about
alright well I'll come scrape him up
and we'll be on our way.
Cut back to the office.
So you blew the Ralph Lauren deal.
I got the Ralph Lauren deal?
No, absolutely not.
This is just what I needed.
We gotta figure this out.
Who is this girl?
Why is she so important to you?
She's incredible to me to have.
And so because of that,
I can't do anything.
She just sold you jam.
I tried to eat cereal this morning
and I scooped it up and fed it into my eyes.
I don't know how it happened but I was full after it.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
Hello?
Hi, this is Amber.
I'm from Jimmy Jam's from the farmer's market.
I'm looking for Trent Silverstein.
Oh, yeah.
He's not here.
He's right here. He's funny enough not here. No, you're him. I see. Oh, yeah. He's not here. He's right here.
He's funny enough not here.
No, you're him.
I see.
Oh, yeah.
I have a cart of the jam that you left at my stall the other day.
I mean, I couldn't let you just pay for all of that.
And I wanted to bring it to you.
And, you know, I don't know anything about you other than my boyfriend knows you're a model.
So he pointed me towards your agency.
Trent, are you going to say thank you? God, Trent. My boyfriend knows you're a model. So he pointed me towards your agency. Trent?
Passes out.
Are you going to say thank you?
God, Trent.
Oh, my God.
Is he okay?
Yeah, no, he'll be fine.
He'll be fine.
Just, do you need to take him to the hospital?
No, this happens to him all the time.
Oh, I forgot how to breathe.
There he is.
I forgot how to breathe, Steve.
I forgot how to breathe.
Yeah, he's, can I be honest with you, Amber?
Amber's your name? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amber. Steve, I've got this.
He's developed a little. I've got this.
Are you sure? He gets up on
one knee, takes out a full
cantaloupe, breaks it in
half, takes out a seed.
Will you marry me?
No! Why? No! What?
What is happening? Trent, buddy,
come on, we talked about the cantal i forgot how to i forgot how to propose
aiden comes in hey babe you ready ready to go yeah um there he is look at this guy
holy shit you really do look just like he said what what did he say about me he said you look
like jason siegel from i love you man but but shorter yeah i get that a
lot actually i do get that all the time i'm trying to cry and i don't know how trent buddy from one
fan to you you don't need to cry when you're that beautiful all right if only i could look like you
come on i wouldn't be in the jam game with this jammy dame aiden what the fuck are you talking
about no babe it's just like, come on.
If we all looked like this guy, we wouldn't have any problems.
If we all looked like him.
Aiden, if I looked like you, my biggest problem would be solved.
You know what I mean?
What's your biggest problem?
Heartache.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God, dude.
Come on.
You can't be swimming in models and bottles.
I don't want models and bottles.
I want your girlfriend.
What?
Sorry, I forgot how to be cordial.
Oh, come on, Trent.
I'm so sorry, you guys.
Maybe you should go.
Trent really just isn't feeling at his best today.
I should stay?
I need to learn how to be.
Can you teach me how to be you so that I can have your betrothed?
We're not engaged, and I don't feel that this is fair for you to be. No, no, no your betrothed um we're not engaged and i don't
feel that this is fair to for you to be no no no totally i mean like yeah totally it's great
ember's great so if i have your life i have aiden's life sorry i'm trying to like figure
out how you talk i'm trying to figure out how you talk a year later aiden's walking the runway at
ralph lauren everybody's fainting and right. He's so average looking.
That's right.
That's right.
Trent and Jam Girl are in the audience just like applauding.
Go Aiden.
Morgan Freeman narrating.
Well, that's right.
Aiden became the superstar model he always wanted to be.
And Trent, why? He got the girl.
I guess you're probably wondering about Steve. Why?
Steve, he blew up in
a fire accident.
A fire
accident? In a way.
He blew up in a fire accident.
Oh, Steve, he blew up in a fire accident. And Steve?
Why? Well, Steve blew up in a fire accident.
What?
Okay. Here we go.
One time, no thought.
I'm sending you a picture.
Okay.
I've just texted it to you.
Oh my God.
Where did you find this?
We'll have to Instagram these.
It's, okay.
F-V-C-E-N-T, all caps.
Short, straight, black Vincent Vega wig from Pulp Fiction wigs
with one bolo tie ellipses. So comes with the wig and a bolo tie ellipses.
Of course. So yeah, it is supposed to be John Travolta's character in Pulp Fiction.
Absolutely. And I picked this one because I'm thinking like, I see a lot of people being
Mia from Pulp Fiction with like the the black wig
and all that thing and um and i looked up pulp fiction wig but then i didn't expect to see
the john travolta character wig available online right next to it and i think it's the funniest
thing i've ever seen yeah not only the wig but it's like the only way that you'd know
it's his character is that it comes with the bolo tie. $5 for a milkshake?
Seems expensive for just a shake.
There's no booze in this?
Here we go.
A five-star review from Laura W.
Wig.
Laura Wig.
Laura Wig, five stars, great value.
Exactly like picture and description.
Unfortunately, we had a change in
plans and i need to return the wig okay so nothing was wrong with the wig and how many stars was it
five stars okay good good but they had a change in plans and i have i am dying to know what happened
so that they couldn't even keep the way he is at the time that they that they weren't even like
even if they changed their halloween plans that they like weren't going, use it for another time, that they weren't even, like, even if they
changed their Halloween plans, that they, like, weren't going to keep it for something
else, that they fully returned the wig based on a change in plans.
Laura, are you ready to go?
I got my wig on.
You know, you always do this.
I, sorry, Nathan, I do, I need, I need five more minutes.
I'm just trying to figure something out right now.
What are you figuring out?
Nathan, please, I really can't think with you yelling through the bathroom door right now it's driving me crazy what are you
even doing in there listen okay don't be mad i'm gonna open the door and i know you're dressed as
vincent from pulp fiction yeah five dollars supposed to be mia five dollars for a shake
but sorry i've been perfecting my line i'm gonna walk in and it sounds so good honey thank you
there's been a change in plans what i i'm so sorry that i i i'm leaving it
so last minute but you can you can still be vincent on your own but you were gonna be mia
i was gonna be mia i'm going as one of the girls from euphoria now i'm so sorry i just you know i
see our daughter and all her friends dressing up like them and i thought wow those colors are
adventurous those outfits are stylish and i just i don't know
it makes me feel young again is that too crazy oh don't cry nathan don't cry please i have been
looking forward to this for i know for for five months for a costume but look the wig looks so
great on you it has the widow's peak and everything
doesn't mean anything anymore oh nathan come on don't say that you've soured today takes it off
no don't take it off don't take it off nathan come on puts it back in the box tapes up the box
shipping label put back in the box we're going to tia's halloween party in 10 minutes. And guess who I'm going to be? A sad dad.
Cut to the party.
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!
Laura and Nathan, I'm so glad
you guys made it. Oh, thank you
so much, Tia. Your home looks so beautiful.
So spooky. Oh, I know, doesn't
it? Hank just loved putting up those
big spiders on the front door.
Some little kids got scared. They thought, oh, that's
a big spider. And I said, it's not real. But there was actually a real spider
underneath it. So that did get a little scary. But anyway, oh, my God, are you one of those
euphoria? Look at those. Look at. Oh, my God. Look at that. I make up. Yeah. Yeah. And my
daughter did it for me. You know, it's it's kind of new. All these all these kind of bright,
bright colors on my eyes. I don't know what to. I know, I could tell. You look so good.
And Nathan, are you some little bolo tie?
Are you some kind of cowboy?
I'm a sad dad.
Well, he was supposed to be Vincent from Pulp Fiction.
We were supposed to be Vincent and Mia from Pulp Fiction.
It only works as a couple's costume.
Where's the drinks?
Where are the drinks?
Oh, the drinks.
Well, we got a spooky spacked cider on the table over there. the drinks? Oh, the drinks. Well, we got a spooky, we got a spooky spacked cider
on the table over there.
Cut to him over by the cider.
There's like four other guys
dressed as sad dads,
but they're really just halves of costumes
and their wives change.
The other half of the room
is filled with women
dressed as characters from Euphoria.
What are you guys dressed up as?
I mean, well, I was gonna be
Homer Simpson, but my wife wanted to be
cassie from euphoria i don't really know what that means i can't believe this i was supposed to be
peter griffin from family guy and then my wife wanted to be zendaya zendaya i don't know her
name from from euphoria yeah i was supposed to be a truck driver and she was supposed to be my truck
but uh now she's dressed as the uh the mother from euphoria i don't know her name the one who
hosts all the parties the one who's cool sydney sweeney's character i watch the show i'll admit
guys i do watch the show it's very good that's nice that's nice so so do you do you think the
the women look accurate to the to the show yeah they look good, but what do we look?
We're just a bunch of, I'm just as a sad dad.
I'm just as a sad dad, too.
Wait a second, are we all sad dads?
I think we're all sad dads.
Hey, sad dads!
I think we're all sad dads.
They all cheers at the sight of it.
Yeah, sad dads.
Sad dads.
We're sad dads, lonely hearts club band.
Oh, that's actually really good.
Hang on.
That's really nice.
Puts on Sgt. Pepper's.
Just from an iPhone speaker.
All right, all together.
Sad Dad's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Come on.
Nice.
Yeah, I can get into it.
Oh, okay.
I see.
We got a little party going on over here.
What you guys doing?
Oh, playing some Beatles.
I mean, we got Monster Mash in the main room, but this is kind of nice, too.
Yeah, we're actually having a really good time over here by ourselves.
Nathan, honey, I'm ready to go whenever you are.
I know you didn't really want to come.
What are you talking about? No, sorry. He was not doing great, though. We had to change the planes. We had to change the you are I know you didn't really want to come What are you talking about?
No sorry We had to change our plans
I had to return a wig it was a whole thing
But I'm actually having a great time
So yeah if you want to go home you can go home
But I'll meet you there
No I mean I guess I can stay a little longer
You're having fun now?
Are you not having fun with the Euphoria women?
Cut to the other side of the room
The Euphoria women are all kind of like pissed
It's just like there's doubles of us I mean it's just like there can't be two i was supposed to be i was for sure
gonna be rude i was well i kind of said i was gonna be i mean i know you said you were gonna
be rude but then you're like i might i might also i might also not be rude i didn't ever say that i
think you're projecting because you said i think i remember you saying that i think i remember you
saying that you weren't gonna be rude as soon as i said that i might not be rude you're like oh yeah
i might not i might not be rude either you said i might
be jewels and so then i said okay then you can be jewels i can be rude yeah well we don't have a
maddie so you would have been a great maddie and you don't want to know why because you're being a
little batch it fucking skews me are you calling me a bet i'm calling you a batch you're 55 years
old and you're calling me a bet you're 56 years old and you're being called a bitch so maybe you
should check yourself don't even fucking start with me, Linda.
I swear to God.
I swear to God.
I will go ape shit on your ass right now.
Ladies, ladies, what's going on over here?
Are we fighting on the spookiest day of the year?
What's happening?
Sorry, Tia.
It's just there were doubles tonight, double costumes.
And I think we all just didn't really expect that.
I think we all wanted to be the belle of the ball.
I think everybody followed the plan except for you.
There's one lone mom in the back dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
Well, I kind of was hoping to be Belle of the ball.
What'd you say?
They all turn and look at her.
Nothing.
It doesn't matter.
They're the only, her and her husband are the only people dressed as a couple's costume.
He's the beast next to her. Yeah, yeah i mean we were having a great time i mean i thought i thought our part our costumes would be a hit yeah we really thought we'd be the the bell and beast
of the ball there's no such thing as the beast of the ball yeah honey i i love you darling you know
shannon you are such a doll but there really is no such fucking thing as a piece of the ball. Leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave,
yeah, now you're gonna have to go, you're gonna have to go, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave,
oh my god, fine, fuck this, I'm fucking out of here, I'm fucking done with all you bitches,
this is unbelievable, year after year, I come with the best costume with my husband jason
and jason and i we really put all the dads are like on this like little stage area all right
they take like a little microphone all right guys uh happy halloween obviously uh we did come up
with a little ditty we wanted to show it to you wives over there guys what are you doing right now
what the fuck is going on bell Why are Bell and the Beast leaving?
No, stay.
You're going to want to hear this.
All right.
Here we go.
A one, a two, a put it anywhere.
Sad Dad's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Come on.
Yeah.
Sad Dad's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Everyone now.
Sad Dad's Lonely Hearts Club band. Everyone now. Sad Dad.
Sorry, Sad Dad's Lonely Hearts Club band.
Yeah, that's what our band is called.
Police, open up.
Oh, God.
Everyone, everyone, hide the hooch.
Everyone go upstairs right now.
Why do we have to hide the hooch?
You're in our 50s.
Sorry, I just got transported back to my high school days.
All right, we can all stay down here.
We're all adults
Yes, hello
Happy Halloween, officer, what's going on?
Yeah, sorry, we got reports of tweenage-looking girls
In wigs, dressed from a popular show
About teens also partying
Oh my god, oh my god, they think we're tweens
They think we're teens, they think we're
Yes, yes, officer
I am but a 16-year-old
I'm 16 years old
Alright, you're gonna wanna come down with us
Wait, no, no, sorry, no, no sorry no no i'm 58 i'm 58 please tell us
i'm sorry darling but your skin looks too good
sad jesus in the background no sorry what's that song what is that song right now oh it's nothing
we just have a little we have a a live band who decided to perform tonight,
but they were just finishing.
They were just finishing.
Do you mind if we take a look inside?
Yeah, I mean, go ahead.
They step inside.
Sad Dad's Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Come on.
What is that?
That's music to my ears, actually.
Officer, it's just our band we created tonight.
Yeah, officer.
Yeah, officer.
Our wives kind of fucking ditched us.
Our wives actually kind of fucking ditched us.
Sorry, I was following your lead.
I thought you were singing.
Our wives dressed up as the characters from HBO's hit show, Euphoria.
Wives?
How old are you guys?
You never ask a man his number.
What?
You know the old saying.
It's like, hey, never ask a man his number.
His number or his age?
How many people have you slept with?
Sad, bad, lonely hearts club.
I've only slept with my wife in my life.
Yeah, that's Tim.
Tim has only slept with his wife in his life.
Officer, we really don't mean any harm. Yeah his life officer we really don't mean any harm yeah officer we really don't mean any harm
we're just no you guys are all clearly middle
aged um all right we're gonna go
we can let your bring her yeah you're fine
you're good to go come back what a rush
oh my goodness oh my goodness
that was crazy Tim did you see that
did you see that I was honey they thought I was
16 they literally thought I was 16
years old can you believe that did you they thought i was honey they thought i was 16 they literally thought i was 16 years old can you believe that sweetheart yeah what was that yeah i can i can believe that
officer if you want to stay and and party with us we're just going to be drinking some of that
spooky cider yeah um we're on active duty so no. No, we get it. We get it. You can head out.
No one wants to party with the, with the fogies, the old fogies.
No, that's not it.
We get it.
That's, you know what?
All right.
We'll take a glass.
We'll take a glass.
Hey, not all cops are bad.
Am I right?
Yeah, I don't know.
Uh, we beat up minorities earlier.
Yeah, you should go actually.
Yeah, we're going to go.
We're going to go.
What about this?
What about sad cops, lonely hearts club.
We're fine.
Door slams in his face.
Should we do our last segment?
Yeah.
This should be a week long.
What's been shaking me is I did yoga yesterday.
I used to do yoga.
Me too.
There was a summer I did it once a week and it was great.
But I think I talked about this in our hot yoga episode because it was hot yoga.
And I always just left feeling like good.
But I think worse because if it wasn't hot, I would have felt better.
So yeah, just trying like some at home flows on the day.
Going to try and do it at least once a week.
My friend Molly led me through it.
She's a yoga, certified yoga teacher. And then while while i'm at that i'll just plug her jewelry business she makes
cool handmade jewelry uh her instagram handle is at moonchild relics so i know she's trying to
she just put new pieces up there so shameless plug for that uh if you like kind of like hippie-ish
jewelry and accessories this is the place for that. There's like, you know, intentioned crystals and stuff involved as well, which is kind of my jam.
What shook me?
Sure.
I'm glad you asked.
Every week, yeah.
My mom is incredible at backgammon.
At backgammon.
She's been playing for years.
And it is like she is the backgammon she's been playing for years and it is like she is the backgammon queen
and so because i'm hanging with my family um we all get tested and so i'm able to hang with them
for the week which is really nice um whenever i'm with her we play if i'm with her and we're
not distancing from each other and we get tested and hang we play backgammon together
and for a while like when she taught me i lost very poorly because she's been playing for a
long time but she she knows all of like the poorly because she's been playing for a long time,
but she knows all of, like, the certain moves.
It's like, you know, if you get a six and a five,
it's like, oh, that's a move.
And it's like, she just knows it so well
that she can do it really quickly.
Yeah.
And we had, we usually do best three out of five if we play,
and the other night, and sometimes it's like,
if any of you have ever played backgammon,
like, have you ever played backgammon, Jeff?'ve stared at the board it's really fun but okay so basically it's like
some games so um you're basically trying to get all your pieces around to one side of the board
and the other person trying to get them all the way around to the other side of the board okay
and um but you can like take other people kind of like chess or checkers in a way you can take
people and um anyway it's more rules than that but um that's in layman's terms consider the game and um sometimes
like you're able to get around the other person really quickly so then just becomes about like
who gets better dice rolls to get to the end um it's just a numbers game and it's like you know
if you get better dice than you win but then a lot of time it's about strategy of like you know can you can you set up your defense then can you set up you know
like oh i can take you this way so we played a couple games that were just numbers yeah but
then we played one game that was a perfect mix of like strategy and then like both of us getting
doubles but then like getting each other in and out. And it was like, it was like the fucking Superbowl of backgammon.
And usually it's like watching other people
play backgammon is not very exciting,
but like we had both of my stepbrothers
and my brother's girlfriend,
like sitting around watching this game,
being like, oh shit.
Oh fuck.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh shit, you got double two.
And it was like, it got so intense.
And you haven't spoken to your mother in days we have not spoken
in days because i beat her um it's fine i'm okay i also haven't talked to daniel in months yeah in
months so you broke up in months no no we're still together it's just a bad situation of it all it's
a back it's a bad gammon situation it's a bad game well you can follow Riley on Instagram
at Riley and Spa
on Twitter at Riley
Coyote and you can
follow the show you
know you guys know
where to find it if
you care and you can
follow Jeffrey James
that I'm Jeffrey James
on Instagram at don't
play no James on
Twitter and you can
subscribe to our
patreon if you would
like to vote on future
review review episode
topics as well as get
access to sketches old review review review episode topics as well as get access to sketches
old review review ad reads q a live streams vip zoom parties at the higher tier patreon exclusive
merch etc the list goes on and on you can check out all of those perks at patreon.com forward
slash riley and jeff uh if you are a vi podcast we have a Zoom party coming up this Friday, November 20th.
So join us for that.
We moved it to a Friday this time in hopes that some more of our international patrons might be able to join.
If not, we'll see about trying to record it and upload that as well for those who missed it.
So if you're not a patron and would like to be a part of that, subscribe at the $20 price.
And if you're at our lower tier and would like to be a part of that, be sure to upgrade before
this Friday so that you can join in on the fun. Yeah. And that being said, let's thank our VI
podcasts. Special thanks to our VI podcasts, Aaron Carrico, Adam Shea, Agent Michael Skarn,
Alex McCullough, Alex Watts, Alex Witt, Alton Burkholder, Alvar Wolstrom-Lindell,
Anthony Amadeo, Austin Austin Boston Charleston Chuston
Bagadoo
Bob Buell
Brad Hild
Brendan Metz
Cameron Bradley
Chasten Bales
Chris Forgash
Christian B
Connor Finnegan
Daniel Bonney
Daniel L. Hodson
Dr. Eegs
Elliot Sloma
Eric Crust
Fancy Octopus
Garrett Glasbergen.
Jeff Hodgson.
Hallie.
Holly.
Isaac Fletcher.
Jackson Hansel.
Jackson Martin.
Jacob Kachuk.
Jake Radiff.
Jake Ullman.
Jamie Ponchia.
Jared.
Jason Araya.
Jesse Tipton.
Jonah Sanchez.
Josh Tischler.
Caleb Luster.
Katie Ross.
Kevin Sunt. Colby Hollis. Kerwin. Cokehead.co. Caleb Luster. Katie Ross. Kevin Sunt.
Colby Hollis.
Kerwin.
Cokehead.co.
Christian Barron.
Lauren Malang.
Malik.
Mark Priest.
Mark Spalding.
Matt Box.
Matthew Lizama.
Michael Ebach.
Michael Field.
Michael Rowland.
Nate Porteus.
Nicolaj Biergard.
Noel Samuto.
Nolan Murphy.
Pete.
Phoenix McVernon. Robert Fridge. Sabrina. So thank you guys so much for supporting us at the highest level. Theodore Gyson Will Bussey Will Phillips Xander Madsen Yaro Edie
So thank you guys so much for supporting us at the highest level
We can't wait to hang out with you guys this Friday again
November 20th for our next VIP Zoom party
It's gonna be soy fun
Soy fun
We'll see you guys again next week
Thanks so much for listening to this episode of Review Review
Tell your friends
Also leave a 5star review on iTunes,
Apple Podcasts if you want.
Do it all if you want or don't.
You don't have to.
But do.
It does help us out.
It'd be great.
And we'll see you guys again next week.
Arrivederci.
Bye.
Cheese.
That was a Hiddem Original.