Review Revue - World Market

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

This week Alf and Reilly have a boys night out, blow up a World Market, and get their parking invalidated.>>>>><<<<<It has been 0 episodes since Family Guy has been mentioned.Follow at:IG: @reillyanspaugh @alfredinnitTwitter: @reilecoyote Join the discord here!Produced by Daniel Ramos @SchubirdsAdvertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get the Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time. This is a HeadGum Original. Well I was born on Dublin Street where the Bardwell drove to beat

And the loving Evans feet walked all over us And every single night when I'm spa I'll come home tight To invite the neighbours outside with this chorus Oh come out Alfred Evans, come out and podcast like a man Don't bite your neighbors outside with this chorus. Oh, come out, Alfred Evans. Come out and podcast like a man. Do you fancy a Peter Griffin or an Ed Flanders? Had a rat from Flushaway.

Made you run like Hellaway. From a green and lovely lanes of Riley and Spa. It's an end to that one. Short and sweet. Short and sweet. But I am filled with like like i'm filled with a kind of pride and fervor that i haven't felt in a minute short and sweet just like your people no we'll get into that so actually that was a parody of come out you black and tans oh right what was that about connor finnigan he goes if you don't play this theme then you don't support a 32-county United Republic of Ireland,

which is fine, I guess. For those of you who don't know, the history of that song is... For those of you who don't know the history of that song, this is the place to find out. This is the place to find out. Set aside some time. I mean, who better to find out than the descendants of... Of what? No, it's just like the good side and the bad side. Who better to find out than the descendants of, you know. Of what? No, it's just like the good side and the bad side.

Yeah, right. I gotta push back. My guys weren't there. I gotta say that. My guys weren't there. That song is basically about like, hey guys, what are we in Ireland? What are we doing? You know, the Republican and Unionists. What are we doing? Why are we fighting against eachland what are we doing you know the the the republican and unionists like what are we doing why are we fighting against each other let's get the british out let's actually

like they're the real enemy let's unite right right right so that's the history of that song so i guess it's like how do you how did you feel listening to that i thought did that bring up anything for you thank you so much for that connor i love that yeah connor i thought it was awesome too and i loved it and i you know my guys weren't i do have to say like just so we're all on the same page like my guys were not there um what do you mean by that like my guys like you know if i sort of if i looked at a tree if uh like for my like pop pop and all the way back like I don't think that was my guys. Huh. Actually. Oh, no.

These. Those weren't my guys. I don't think those were my guys. Those actually weren't my guys. My guys were mainly in Wales. Just hanging out. So, you know, farming and stuff. So leave my guys out of this.

So you guys weren't kind of like trying to like forcing my guys to We don't know do we There's no way of knowing Lose the language and they weren't hiding food away Because famously there was no famine It was the British hiding food and not letting I doubt my guys did that I think what's much more likely is that Your guys came over fleeing

From my guys And the famine they created And then my guys were mean to your guys My guys didn't come over my mom came over The rest of my guys and the famine they created. And then my guys were mean to your guys. My guys didn't come over. My mom came over. The rest of my guys were still there. When I say your guys, I guess I meant in a broader sense. For sure.

For sure. I will say from our family. Your guys didn't? My mom and I are the only one in the diaspora. That's wild. I know, isn't it? And guys, welcome to Review Review, where we do talk about British Irish politics. Did none of your mom's siblings leave? No. Wow, that's wild. I know, isn't it? And guys, welcome to Review Review, where we do talk about British Irish politics. Did none of your mom's siblings leave?

No. Wow, that's amazing. We are the only family members who live in America. None of your cousins? No, some of your mom's nieces and nephews must have. Really? Wow, that's astounding. Everyone, we are the only ones who don't live there.

Wow. Congrats. And I am the only one there with an American accent. Yeah, I mean. Like, whenever we do a family reunion, it is, I am the only one who sounds like this. Well, yeah. I was near Galway recently, and someone was asking where our family's from, and I said dairy, and they're like, oh, up there, they talk thick and quick.

And I thought that was a perfectly apt description of a dairy accent. Good description of something else as well. I just feel like you make things inappropriate. Inappropriate. I don't know that one. You don't know what the word inappropriate means? No. That explains a lot.

What's new with you? Well, you hear about loam and neom neom what liam and lol i don't know what that is no um the oasis brothers oh yes liam and noel you ever think about us being like that about like being a band who hasn't performed together in years and deciding to go on tour again because they're like hate each other yeah do you ever think about us like in that kind of framework i don't think about and that's so funny i'm gonna go back to come out you black and tans it it's not about like you and i hating each other specifically you let me walk right into this it's not about us hating each other but it's like it's almost like a romeo and juliet it's like oh my god yeah it's like our guy it's like what would they think

you know so other than thinking about us as a comp to Oasis what else have you been doing well that's about it gotcha I've been thinking a lot about you know summer is drawing to a close

thank Christ although heatwave apparently hitting your ass soon oh my god yeah at the time this comes out we will have just gone through a heat wave right now my weather app says it's gonna get up to 109 but i just got an la time notification said to go up to 114 so that's cool jesus that's so fucking hot yeah um you're being really evasive do you not want to talk about what's going on with you personally i just don't think there is much going on with me personally and not a lot going on up there what do you mean by that you're not smart oh well no i think you're like oh that's not nice

well it's not nice but it's not not wrong what if as we're ribbing what if like totally new way of like ribbing each other be like that's actually really mean that's really mean i wish you wouldn't i wish you wouldn't bring that up i'm sensitive that's really mean i have something that's going oh no i'm gonna i'm gonna save that i'm gonna shit i'm gonna save it i'm gonna shit i'm gonna shit oh i'm gonna shit um i have i'm gonna say that what's been shaking me what's new with me i thought we'd gotten rid of the cockroaches no you didn't i did i hadn't seen them in the kitchen in like a week but the kitchen's really where they've been hanging

well i saw one in the fucking office three days ago and you hit it with your shoe on the podcast that there had been eggs laid somewhere and the babies hatched because last night i got home i went on perfect person with miles bonseñor and i turned on the light in the kitchen and there was like four little ones right it's just it's more upsetting because we keep a very clean apartment and so it's really demoralizing being like i'm not like i'm not a dirty person like i'm not leaving things around we don't have food lying around like it's just so frustrating it's just really demoralizing. It's really annoying.

And it's like those fuckers, just like once they're in and they breed, it's really hard to get them out. Yeah, and, you know, they can, you know, if there was even a single clutch of eggs, you know, now that they've hatched, they can. I know. With each other. I know. And so other. I know.

And so it's... More eggs. More roaches. It's really frustrating. So it's like I am cleaning the kitchen all the time. It's just... It's really frustrating. Have you thought about...

Could you move? I'm not going to move. It just makes me feel gross. Because I'm like, I know that we're not gross. Our apartment is not gross. You've seen it. Well. Like, we have, like, it's, shut up.

It's just frustrating. It's frustrating. I've never dealt with them before. And it's just really annoying. I think the meat piles is an issue, though. But it shouldn't be. Like, I'm not leaving crumbs of it. Like, I keep the meat piles in very, like, orderly.

You keep calling it composting. You're like, my meat piles. It will eventually break down. Yeah, but I don't. That's what composting is. Yeah, but composting. You're like, my meat pile. It will eventually break down. Yeah, but I don't. That's what composting is. Yeah, but composting is actually something very specific. Like there's a whole like science behind it, man. You can't just leave piles of rotting meat in your house and be like, I'm composting.

I'm composting. I'm composting here. Whatever. It's so anyway, that's what's going on with me. It's not fun. It's not exciting. It's bad and gross. That sucks, man gross it does suck um what do you think about this um what do you think about those those ones you put in the wall that beep i'm sorry you know about that you know about this for the cockroaches

ones that are like the um sonar son i my landlord gave me some i don't think those do anything they don't do anything because also it's like we have it's in the building it's what's nice to know is that it's not just our apartment oh I don't think that's an issue in the building I don't think that's a I know I'm saying that it makes me feel better that it's not like oh we're gross it's like it's a building issue um I love our apartment I really do uh no I don't think they do absolutely anything. And in fact, like, it was very nice. He gifted me like 10 and put them around our apartment. So generous.

So generous, King. And then literally as soon as he left, I'm like, thank you so much. Google, do sonar, dog repellents work? Question mark. Immediate. No, no, they don't actually do anything. I'm like, oh, perfect. Yeah, I don't think they do shit. i don't think they do absolutely a goddamn thing because here's the thing about me if i were

a bug right i'm hungry as hell to you i'm hungry as hell i just hatched i'm hungry as hell right i'm in your kitchen i'm hungry as hell hungry as Hungry as hell. All of a sudden, I'm like, shit, there's some food. Oh, good spot to lay my eggs. But there is a beeping. I guess I'm going to just back up and starve to death. I don't know what the idea is. I saw one. I saw.

And also, I will just say, it's not like big cartoon-sized roaches. They're very small, but they're very annoying. Well, cartoon size is really interesting like it's not like like what you think of like it's like a big roach like it's that's not the issue they're they're small but you know that it's not what you think of when you think of like a big roach i'm saying it's like if you're like watching a movie or something it's like see a road a roach like full size thick shell like that kind of thing that's not what we're dealing with. Like from, oh my, from Fallout. Or like Fear Factor.

Or Family Guy. That's. Thought we were just saying shows that start with a F. I thought we were just saying things. I saw one next to the sonar thing. I'm like, so that does absolutely nothing. Music to his ears. Yeah.

But we're not here to talk about roaches. Although we should. You know what's funny not funny you know what's upsetting is that um in fiji i had there's the roaches there are cartoon size roaches there are fucking massive over the course of the two and a half months i was there five roaches in my room um and that was horrifying and so my friends started calling me Roach Queen, which I did not like. So that wasn't like everyone was having that issue. It was kind of just you.

No, other people were having it, but I had it five times. And again, I pick up after myself. Don't leave crumbs around. I'm very clean. I had a tarantula in the shower once. Where? Arizona.

A tarantula? I hardly know herula in the shower once. Where? Arizona. A tarantula? I hardly know her. In the shower. That's while you were showering? Open up the curtain in my skivvies, turn the water on, look up. You shower with your underwear on? Only way. Turn the water on, look up.

What do I see? Tarantula. Are you in the water or you've just turned it on from the outside i'm i'm in my skivvies right so i'm i'm feeling you shouldn't be stepping in so i'm feeling vulnerable right yes the curtains open boom just like tarantula you know brown contrast on the white of the wall it's like pops out and i'm like oh shit and i'm like i don't know what to do about this i like go in the back i get my phone i take a picture of it i like oh he's moving he's moving and he crawls back into the wall and i'm like well that's the worst that you know that they're

lying in wait and i was in a i was in an airbnb and i was like, I guess I'll be sleeping well for the next three nights. Oh, my God. And it was fine, and I never saw him again. And I don't know. Tarantulas actually aren't, like, that dangerous. No. They just look scary as hell. Yeah.

Yeah. The roaches. My room in Fiji, it's like the ceilings were quite high. So it's like if it started growing up, it's like I knew that it's like I need to kill this fucker before it reaches a certain height where I will not be able to reach it. It will be impossible. I could even stand on the bed with a broom and I couldn't get up there. And so there was one night where I, it was on a day off and I'm out there working. I'm getting like four hours of sleep a night, five if I'm lucky.

It's when you're most lucid, yeah. Yeah. I have a day off. I'm finally going to sleep. On days I would sleep for like 12 hours, like finally, like just to kind of like rack those hours up. I'm like, I'm going to sleep in. It's going to be great.

And I'm woken up at like 6 a.m. by, I felt like a pinch on my leg. Oh. And I'm like, that's weird. Fuck.m. by, I felt like a pinch on my leg. Oh. And I'm like, that's weird. Fuck. White bedding, white sheets. Blood everywhere. Blood everywhere. And I'm like, ouch.

And then I kind of have my eyes open. I turn, face the other side of the bed. Cockroach. Bit you. Crawling across the bed. Didn't bite you though, did it? No. I think it probably.

You just felt it. I think it had crawled over my leg. And like one of the little bits on the leg, like caught my skin or something. I have never leapt out of my own skin. So it was that like, I have chills thinking about that. That was so fucking horrible. And then like,

I took my bloodstones and I, and because those are big and like meaty guys, and I hate the sound of like the crunching of it. And so I took my bloodstones And because those are big and meaty guys And I hate the sound of the crunching of it And so I literally Whenever I would kill one If I wasn't able to take a broom and just yeet it outside I literally would I didn't want to hear it Or feel it crunching

So I would yell And so I got up out of bed In my PJs I put on my work boots And I run over to it. And I go, fuck you. Fuck you. And then about 90 minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

And they said, excuse me, miss. We've been having some complaints about a dispute in your unit. Is there anyone else in there with you? Well, there was. But I took care of it, so it's fine now. What do you mean by that, ma'am? Sorry, I can see how bad it came out. I crushed him, don't worry.

I crushed him with the heel of my boot. We're not here to talk about roaches. I thought you were going to say that you put headphones in. That you were like, you saw it and you were like, I gotta kill it, but I don't want to hear the sounds. No, that's really, no, no, no. Because there was no time. Because those are, they're fucking fast. You need to act quickly.

Well, wings. And so it's like, huh? Some of them got wings. I know. These ones didn't fly. If they're old enough. But it's like, I, there's no time. You just had to act.

There was one night where I was listening to music. I had headphones in and I did kill one while listening to Bo Burnham's inside which like really feels very okay that has that has been asking a big question yeah casual listening for you is that yes yes have you met me yes but i think sometimes i i think sometimes i'm able to kind of have a version of you in my head right that i kind of hold up but i don't meet your heroes I'm like oh but no Riley wouldn't she's great we love Riley right guys anytime you think oh but she wouldn't do that

she would we have a new bit new bit alert new bit alert what's the new bit that we have we've been saying that we have that we've been saying oh new bit alert and then I promise we'll get to the topic what is the bit my new favorite bit oh my god you wouldn't do that you're one of the good girls you're one of the last remaining good girls that's so funny that you said that was the new bit because i was

thinking about i was thinking about beans for even steven yeah we have to alf and i kind of go through different eras of bits um and right now the the reigning eras are we keep bringing up for example and there's nothing more funny than explaining a bit i don't think he even should i think we should just leave it as it is move on okay well now i can't so if alf was trying to think of someone from a movie he couldn't think it was like what's that actor's name oh he was in Castaway. Forrest Gump. What's the name of it? Oh, that's right. Oh, you know. It's the actor who played Beans in Even Stevens.

Yeah. Is it Tom Hanks? No. No, no, no, no. No, you're thinking of the actor who played Beans in Even Stevens. No, that's the actor who played Beans in Even Stevens. So that's the bit. Speaking of Beans.

Speaking of Even. Speaking of Even. Speaking about Steven. Stevens it's uh so that's the bit speaking of beans speaking of even speaking of even speaking about Steven Sondheim we're talking about something really all in the same way that like Steven Sondheim is all encompassing and like his themes and kind of his work we're talking about a place that encompasses just about everything except for things you actually need we are talking about cost plus world market whoa whoa whoa so we're talking about this place i suggested this topic because we're like it's september summer is coming to an end it's fall obviously um a place that i one of my go-to's when the season starts to change is a cost plus world market the candles i'm sorry i've never heard it like referred to with like it's i just

say i say world market but online other reviews were like at cost plus world market i'm like so just world market um i don't know her like that yeah she's just world market to me i love a world market i go there sometimes like during fall i'll go there and find like a nice candle maybe a cute little like halloween candelabra candelabra um but i will mostly go there for the digestives for the for the kind of british snacks that i'm not finding at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's or wherever. Ralph's. I will get my PG Tips. I will get my dark chocolate digestives.

I'll get my milk chocolate digestives. The one thing, motherfucker. Holy shit. Hey, anyone who works at World Market, I have a bone to pick with you. Oh my God. I have been looking for lychee juice, just like lychee juice, for probably two years. Amazon sold out. And then it was like, you can get some at Whole Foods juice, for probably two years, Amazon sold out. And then it was like you can get some at Whole Foods.

They used to sell it there, sold out. And then World Market online, you can get at World Market, sold out every time. Why? You have every other kind of like tropical juice. Why can't, I want to make a leachy martini, god damn it. I know it's like you just need to go to one of the infinite specialty grocery stores around you. Go to Koreatown. Go into a Korean grocery store.

But that's so far. I know. But it seems like it might be worth it. I think you're right. I just need to bite the bullet and face the traffic on 6th Street. It's just like it's crazy because World Market has so many international foods. I know.

It does seem like lychee juice would be something it would have. It's crazy that they don't. It actually blows my mind. And it's like, they have the... Well, they don't have the room.

They've got so many wicker baskets. But they have the brand. They have the brand of juice that i see everywhere that it just continues to be sold out but they have guava they have passion fruit they have like all these things that i'm like come on i just need a carton i just need a carton and some vodka a little simple syrup like come on what are we doing yeah and anyway and what's crazy is you haven't had a drink since you've not been able to find it right i am it's it's like a hunger strike but worse because it's not

drinking alcohol a thing that is poison and not something you need to live i did i did the other night i went to a game night of friends i not proud to say i haven't been that drunk in years i don't whenever i drink i don't like i'll stop it three and four like circa 2015 honestly yeah like i i really i don't like being hung over i don't like like wow and i didn't black out i was just like it was fun and the game was so intense that like i i stopped i was just like let's fucking go like i get really intense on a game night and yesterday my day was lost i was hung over i it was a nothing what does it feel like to be at that age now where you can lose a whole day to a hangover that's the thing i'm like i'm only 28 i can't stop that only oh i can see his his back hurts let that only go okay like

the the old like it really um only 28 it it was horrible uh But anyway, so that's... Alf, what do you think about World Market? Cost plus even. Cosplaying as World Market is one of my favorite things to do. I do think it's one of those places that like it shouldn't work, right? You're doing too much. You don't need to have all that shit, especially... You don't need to have Hello Kitty shaped pasta right next to a throw pillow.

Especially in the world of like you know the internet the idea of having get this it's like a pier one imports but but also it's like a coles or like a tj like there's some weird. Just like home goods. But then it's also. Going to be a grocery store. And like. But not for things you need. But just for like. Stocking stuffers. Like purely. Yeah. Stocking stuffers.

Like just shit. To give. Stocking stuffers. Is a perfect way. To describe that. It's like. Stocking stuffers. And like soju.

And like. Literally. Yes. Yes. It's like. Canned cocktails. And like. It's just weird cocktails and like it's just weird. It's a really weird store. Canned cocktails and infused olive oil right next to a pillow that says boo.

Boo. I got so spooky seasoned. I came to World Plus and all I got was this ghost pancake spatula and a mirror that's too big for my wall i got a candle that smells like shit they do i did get i gotta are not it for me from no i the candles are way too intense yes that's exactly toxic but i did find one that i have liked but i have to use it sparingly because it can be a little intense it's like it's like a a fall kind of like sage brown butter cinnamon kind of stuff delicious and i don't like ones that smell too artificial this one if you burn it for too long it airs that way but it's shaped like a pumpkin and i'm such a basic fucking ass when it comes to fall

stuff but i love it i love it here's a question for you yeah you like halloween you like october fall generally right you're you're decorating right tastefully you know you're tastefully i have two little like kind of minimalist little pumpkins going on yep do you and it is september 2nd at the time record do you every year are you adding to the collection? I mean, it sounds like, yes, you're adding to the collection. No, you know what? I never used to decorate for holidays. When we lived with Elizabeth, we very much like had Christmas, like she has a little Christmas tree.

So we would put stuff up for Christmas. But now that Daniel and I have this, I don't know. There's something about this apartment especially that I'm like, I'm going to go for it. Because I love it. Yeah, right. And so now I'm starting that. I think there's something more about feeling like an adult. And like I've been with my boyfriend for six years.

We've lived together for four. We have this apartment that we're going to be in for a while. I want to make this like, I't know it feels like i'm going for it i'm probably going to get that like shit ass spider web stuff from i i love i love fall i love halloween and i love christmas and so i will be adding two collections of decorating yeah do you decorate i i don't really i my roommate who i lived with for a long time did very uh extremely for most like there was like halloween we're doing it you're going all out they're probably staying up until thanksgiving then we're putting christmas after christmas we're doing st

patrick's day we're doing the minor holidays even. Like there would be an Easter display. You can get all of this shit at World Market. I will say around spring, I went to St. Patrick's. And I mean, everything was just Guinness themed. But like they do have everything for any holiday. And I think part of what I don't understand, because like my roommate used to do it, right?

She would like, she had like a main stock. And then like every year, you know, she'd maybe add a thing do it, right? She had a main stock, and then every year she'd maybe add a thing to it, right? And she'd maybe be like, you know what? This guy, he served us well for the last three Halloweens, but reviews who it seems like every Halloween they start from scratch. They start from zero. It's like we're decorating the house for fall. I'm going to go out and spend $300 on a brand new. And that's just consumerism. And that's honestly just trends.

What are you doing with the old shit? And the only answer is you throw it away or you donate it and i'm like why that's why i like getting things that are it's like trends in halloween decorations don't more minimal fast no um you get stuff that can that can work that it won't be like i don't know i i honestly i don't go crazy because i also i love fall but i i get scared really easily so i love kind of like my halloween vibe is more like it's the great pumpkin charlie brown and not like um like actual nightmare on horror street nightmare on horror killer avenue Like, mine is much more, like, Gilmore Girls, Hocus Pocus, Snoopy. Yeah. The other side.

I think, I love Halloween, and I like to be scared, and I like horror movies, and I like when people, when people put it in their lawn or whatever, I'm like, sure, go off. There's a corpse in your yard. Sure. Fine. Funny. Funny. The idea of putting that in your house, I'm like, I don there's a corpse in your yard sure fine funny funny putting that in your

house I'm like I I don't know how okay with horror movies I'd need to be to be like I couldn't sleep 3 a.m I'm getting up to go like get a glass of water or whatever and I like see my chucky out of the corner of my eye and I drop the glass of water and I fall down the stairs and I shit myself like I don't I don't know in what world you like how okay with scary things you have to be to be like we're like you wake up in the middle of the night and see a cardboard cutout of like Michael Myers like staring at you next to the scream mask I don't know why I really thought you're gonna say a cardboard cutout of Michael Jackson of Mike Myers um let's take a break oh wait oh my god intention time intentional this is gonna be the most shit ass it's gonna be the most frugal episode okay that's nice because just thinking about like

you know you go to world market cost plus but you want to you're not in there to do a haul unless you are well but like but judging by some of the reviews it seemed like this was a cost plus world market is a big target for like the couponing girlies right okay i may go to I may go there after we get off of the Zoom. You might go to Cost Plus World Market tonight? Yeah. Crazy ass. We'll be right back with some Cost Plus World Market.

We'll be right back with more Review Review. And we're back. I can start because you started last time. Okay, since you're such a liar about it. About what? I don't know. Weird thing to say. Okay, because you're such a liar about it. This is for the Cost Plus World Market at The Grove in Los Angeles, California.

Yes, they have a world market. One star. Now I've heard everything. From Jeff California. Yes, they have a world market. One star. Now I've heard everything. From Jeff G. Oh, come on. How about Jeffrey Game? Jeffrey Game. Games.

Jeffrey Games. James. One star. I believe the Rude... I'm not going to dox the cashier because this is the specific store, so I'm just going to make up a different name for the name of the cashier let's say jeff i believe the rude cashier's name is jeff i went to buy some placemats but the sport store didn't have what i wanted and

when i asked the one cashier who wasn't busy for parking validation he had this nasty grin on his face and said not without a purchase I explained that the store didn't have what I was looking for, and again, he told me I needed to purchase something. I literally couldn't believe he wasn't letting me go, so I asked again for parking validation. He just smirked. The cashier beside him, a lovely woman who was busy packing another customer's order and ringing him up, said, I'll validate you just this once, and indicated a sign that I guess said no validation without purchase. I really didn't read it. She went on to explain that the parking was very expensive and visitors to the Grove just use their store for validation. Admittedly, this is a problem, but not mine.

I did not notice any sign when I pulled into the lot. Due to this new rule, but more due to that nasty Jeff, I will not set foot into that store. He went out of his way to be insulting and rude. And I hope the manager reads this. I love nasty grin. I'm sure the person was just like, hey, man, I'm just doing my job. But I want to hurt my fucking head. Why? I'm just like. I mean, caveat, fuck parking, fuck everyone.

I hate everything. Capitalism. I fucking hate living in hell but do you not know what parking validation is right it's not like a fucking junior ranger scavenger hunt where you just go to the store and you're like free please you're getting the validation because you're a customer how is that new to you why are you you live in la the most parking fucked city in america yeah how is the concept of like why and how parking validation works so fucking foreign to you like that's so bizarre like and then just buy gum like world market i just buy one item they have so many little trinkets buy a fucking eraser tip hello kitty for like 89 cents and get your parking validated you're still

gaming the system man it's it's just a yes to all of that and it's the way that he's editorialized like he had a nasty grin and was like i imagine i don't know why like like one of the kind of like smarmy sidekick pirates from pirates of the caribbean being like not without purchase like fast like pointing to the sign and the other one being like no come on just this. He's just a boy. Yeah, like, no without purchase, darling. It's like, no, come on, let me go, please. Come on, he's just a boy. I'll give him the validation. No, no, no.

He didn't read the sign. And it's like fake naivety of it, of like. Oh my God. Oh, I didn't realize I had to buy something. I'm sorry. Oh, silly me. But you will validate it just this once, right?

It's like, ma'am, we've seen you in here three times this week. My heavens. I seem to have lost my marbles. I had no idea, but surely just this once. For little old me, you wouldn't mind just giving a little stamp on my parking pass?

We're not allowed. Good sir, I understand your plight in this job, but please, it's my sister's birthday and I must be getting on to go make the dinner and make a cake. Yeah, I'm sorry lady, we're just not allowed. Michael,

the heat manager, he says we're not allowed to validate parking unless they have a receipt. Oh, please don't take that tone with me. I see that nasty grin spreading across your face. And well, I will say it's making me very frightened indeed. What is your name again? The name tag says... Randall.

Randall. Randall, Randall, you are a nasty character. You're a nasty one indeed. May I speak to Michael? Maybe he'll be able to help a poor soul like me. I think he was in receiving, Doc. We had an order come in. I don't know if he really can come up right now

though. Oh, please fetch him. Please, I can't stand a minute longer with you. I'm frightened. Uh, you're afraid? Well, it's just your sinister energy. It makes me a little nervous. I need a hero.

I need a hero to come in and help me. Please. Okay. Sure. Michael. Yeah, I need a manager to the front. There's a lady says she needs a hero. I don't know what that means either.

She just has a complaint. She don't know what that means, either. She just has a complaint. She wants me to validate. Yeah, I know we can't validate parking unless they have a receipt, Michael. Oh, please don't take that tone, Randall. Randall, I'm so terrified. Miss, miss, one second, miss, miss, miss, one second, miss. I know she, yes, she's just

she's asking you to speak with the manager. Okay. He said he'll be up in a minute. Oh, fantastic. Randall, may I ask you something? Did you have any... Oh, sure. What made you this way?

You know, surely not everyone was born a villain, but... No. Something must have happened to you that turned your soul so... We had a training last month where they said like apparently corporate's mad like we're giving away too many parking validations or something so they were like really holding the managers like their feet over the fire about it michael said he doesn't even like to do it like he doesn't like to be the bad guy either i see you have a good heart randall and well maybe with true love's kiss someone can break the curse from Michael and corporate.

I don't... Let me bring you back to yourself. Because I can see there's a good man in there. I don't want to kiss you. I don't want to kiss you. No, certainly not, Randall. I'm not talking about me. I don't want to kiss you at all. But...

I don't want to marry your daughter or whatever, lady. I just... How old do you think I am, Randall? Michael walks in. Hi there. What seems to be the problem today, miss? Oh, Michael, my hero, my knight in shining armor. Thank you so much for stepping in. Michael, I

do have a festival to go to. My sister's 30th name day, in fact. And, well, if I don't make it home right now and bake the cake and make the ziti, the baked ziti, the noodles and the sauce, well, then I surely will be the laughingstock of my entire village. Now, please, your, your henchman Randall here, I believe he can be a good man if he tries, but he says that I'm

not allowed to leave or get validation without purchase. And well, Michael, I don't want to pay $35 for parking. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, we don no, we don't actually validate without purchase. Oh, but I didn't know that upon entering the market. Now, please, Michael, just one little validation. Couldn't hurt. I didn't find the things I need, and I must be off. I'm really sorry.

What was it you were looking for that we didn't have? I was looking for cake toppers. And you didn't have one that looked exactly like my sister. In fact, you only had one that looked like Calico Cats and Dalmatians. And neither of those were of any use to me, Michael. So you see, I couldn't have bought anything in here that would have suited my fancy. I'm sorry to hear that. We got a couple options here.

You can either buy some gum, in which case I'd be able you know some other low-cost item right i'd be able to validate your parking for you the pizza across the street will validate as long as you buy you just need to literally go get yourself iced coffee iced tea the pizza validate right michael if neither of those options worked for you i'm sorry miss but i am gonna have to ask you to leave because we do have other customers there There's a line you can see behind you. The customer service line. Who I thought you would be. Yeah.

As you can see, there is a line. You know, Randall here is doing a great job. He's got other returns to process for people. The folks behind you, you can see the folks behind you are getting upset. I see now why Randall is the way he is. He's doing a great job because you are the one pulling the strings, Michael. She told me to kiss you. She what? I did not say such a thing, Michael. She told me to kiss you. She what?

I did not say such a thing, Randall. Please stop twisting my words. Miss, that's really inappropriate. I really wish you wouldn't speak to my staff that way. Everybody, hear ye! Hear ye! Patrons of Cost Plus World Market, all of you weary world travelers

who have found yourself here at the epicenter of goods and commerce, listen to what I have to say. These men do not want what is best for the village, for the community, for the best of the people. They are taken over by an evil spirit in the name of consumerism. And we cannot stand for it. If we the people rise together, I know good can prevail. Now, Michael and Randall, there must be someone here who's your true love. Yeah. not stand for it if we the people rise together i know good can prevail now michael and randall

there must be someone here who's your true love yeah so we've got a woman um she is having a meltdown oh security oh they will be the knights in shining armor they will help find you find true love to break the curse now anyone here does anyone have any maybe spurs of feelings towards these men? Well, I've been a regular here for a couple months. I come in and get the Biscoff coffee syrup. Hi, Carol. Hey, Michael. I've actually always, this is such a stupid way to do this,

but I actually have always thought about asking for your number. Maybe this is dumb. Oh, oh carol fantastic maybe this is the true love that we need to to break the curse of consumerism uh wow that's i didn't know that carol um now that you say it like you know i can i'm kind of recontextualizing a lot of conversations we've had like i just i don't know i thought there might be a vibe. No, I, you know, there could be. Yeah. Why don't I give you my number?

Yeah. I guess. That sounds, oh, a number, a caller. Carol, he is your caller. Now go quickly. Kiss him. Maybe this will break the curse. Oh, I don't.

She doesn't need to do that. I don't need to do that. I don't need her to do that. We haven't even, this is, this is the longest conversation that he and I have ever had. Right. I'm at work. I don't think it would be appropriate even if.

Because capitalism must be defeated. Carol, you may be the only one to break the curse and get us all out of here. Oh, I have a purchase. He's going to validate my parking once I check out. So I'm just. I was here for the Biscoff syrup and um is anybody gonna kiss randall randall i don't randall maybe you don't have a true love what you said everybody has a true love i thought well i thought so too randall but looking at the line of of customers and townsfolk in here,

I don't think anyone wants to kiss you, Randall. Okay. High school all over. I don't know, man. What do you want me to say? Can you... It seems like there's no way out for little old Sarah except to pay the fine. Maybe if she gave me a kiss.

Randall, no. Randall, no. Randall, go back to receiving. Okay, I'm going to take care of the rest of it. No, Randall. I don't know you, Randall, but maybe there's part of me that does. Maybe there's part of me that's always known.

Right, right, right. Maybe if we kiss, then the capitalism curse will be broken, and you will give me validation to leave for the festival. You may not kiss this customer. This customer will not be kissed. Well, I've given my consent, Michael. If it's for the greater good of breaking the curse, I will.

No, but I'm uncomfortable with the transactional nature of the kiss, right? It feels like you're only kissing him because you don't want to pay for the parking, and that feels gross to me. I don't want to be a part of that. No, it's not just that. It's to break the curse. Randall, take your break. Well, if he's on his break, then he's

not at work, and so then it kind of is better. Right, but then if he's on break, he can't actually validate your parking either. Do you still want to kiss him? I don't think so. Come on. I'll pay the $35. Okay, awesome.

Thank you. Jesus Christ. That's how I'm going to be later when I go. That's how I'm going to be later when I go. Interesting. When I go to World Market. I'm going to... That's what I say when i'm describing my my deathbed that's how i'm gonna be later when i go that's how i'm gonna be later when i go do you want to do one sure i'll be the i'll be the prettiest princess

it's the same scene each time we just take turns being the princess i wish i wish this is for the world market oh shit world market if you will um this is this is um the world market in Crystal Lake, Illinois. Okay. One star from Eileen F. Eileen Fines. What was that? Eileen Fines.

Fines. Like Rafe? Mm-hmm. Okay. Eileen Fines. One star. I was at this location due to a promotion that the store was having. I was very excited to come. My daughter found a golden golem.

Although since she's 18 and older, oh, since she's not 18 and older, she cannot participate. I completely understood this and carried on with my shopping. While I was shopping, the same employee, Rick, approached me and was following me around the store and shouted, Give me the ticket! I refused since I no longer had the ticket with me, had given it to another customer. I attempted to walk away, but Rick persisted with the same question and asked me to empty my pockets. I felt extremely violated since this is not right for any employee to ask their customers. I came to this store with an excited energy and quickly that came to an end.

What is a golden golem? So I had no fucking idea what that meant. I looked it up and apparently, I think she misspoke. I think she meant golden gnome not that that makes any more that is intrinsic sense right um basically every year around holidays world market certain world markets do a promotion where they hide golden things around the store and if you find one you get like a hundred dollars in store credit that's crazy if you find the golden gnome at world market you get this is huge dollars and i don't i don't think it's all world markets. And I think the actual gold item changes. But the idea of like, A, your kid found it.

Why doesn't your kid just fucking give it to you? And you're like, I found it. Like, that seems like a crazy rule in the first place. But she's like, totally fine with that. She's like, okay, my kid found it. You got me. I'm out. But then to be hounded like Willy Wonka style of like crazy give me the golden ticket because it's

also give me the golden ticket yeah it's not even like they thought she was shoplifting empty your pockets we saw you pocket this thing and i'm just like it feels like it is that's so inappropriate there's also something just like so kind of like old school about the entire promotion right like it's like seems like it would be so easy to rig right it's like obviously somebody's hiding them store manager is probably hiding them yeah i'm a store manager at a world market i can't say that i wouldn't be like texting my sister-in-law or whatever and be like hey you should come by yeah look behind the baked beans winky face yeah like it just feels like it's it's there's something so bizarrely

old-fashioned about it that you just don't expect from like a huge it's an honor system it's an honor system have you ever thought about having honor uh no so i was gonna say it's like it's an honor system and you know oh so you're saying that's why I don't get it. It's just like if you're one of the good girls, you'd understand that it's just like. Oh, I used to be. One of the good girls? Yeah, then I kind of went off my rocker. How embarrassing to have to empty your pockets at a store.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't. i wouldn't i wouldn't i wouldn't it's awful that is so humiliating and gross and weird and all because she found the golden gnome oh my god that's horrible i don't even know what else to say it doesn't give you a lot of faith in people does it no it's i mean hopefully she didn't, it sucks. Hopefully she didn't have anything. I'm just imagining it's like Mary Poppins bag, like empty it. And it's just. Don't make me, don't make me, please.

We're going to be your all bag. We don't have the time, please. Yeah. Hey, sir, sir, I'm going gonna need you to empty your pockets No, no, I just changed my mind I don't really want to I don't really want to be here or buy anything I understand sir, but this is actually

This is really important and we need to keep the sanctity Of the golden gnome And I'm gonna need you to empty your pockets And just prove to me that you don't have anything left in there Right, if I had the golden gnome though Probably I'd take it up to you and be like I have the golden gnome, I wouldn't leave the store with it Well we don't know, people don't have a left in there. Right. If I had the Golden Gnome, though, probably I'd take it up to you and be like, I have the Golden Gnome. I wouldn't leave the store with it. Well, we don't know. People don't have a lot of honor

these days. The honor system is kind of a thing of the past. Well, I'm with you on that. And I'm with you on that. I mean, I think our country has really, you know, it's going the way of the dodo when it comes to honor. Exactly. So, I apologize. I know it's

inappropriate, but I am going to need i and i see that you have cargo pants so there are many places where the gnome could be so i'm gonna need you to empty all of your pockets sir all right you got me um i was i went fishing this morning i don't need to hear your backstory sir I just need you to know that before we get started. I went fishing this morning. I don't care about your hobbies. Let's dig in. Boom.

Okay. First of all. Wallet. Wallet. Okay. Keys. Phone. Phone.

Yes. Perfect. The big three. So that's going to be front right. Now let's go over to front left. Some receipts. Some receipts some receipts groceries all right don't read them pervert um you bought you have a new baby come on i said don't read them um it's for my chihuahua old or incontinent or both

uh yeah it's both sorry to hear that yeah more seats slaughter seats um okay fishing lore told you fishing lore is that not gonna poke through your pants i tape them you see there's tape on there and you keep them in your pockets you don't have any kind of fishing like i don't know like a pack keeps me tackle box i got a shoulder issue i got a rotator cuff issue so i don't like to carry too much better for me in the pockets okay look i'm just trying to get to the golden gnome yeah there's not going to be a golden gnome we can use all day again no honor gonna need you to empty more tilapia beauteous beauteous oh my god it reeks yes and so that's actually from the grocery store i didn't catch this this is a fillet Is it fillet or fillet

It's not even wrapped that's just Loose fish Fillet or fillet I don't know You need to put that in a bag or something Do you have a bag It's going to cost another 10 cents No chance You can't have just a fish in the steel

We got a jumper This one's alive. It's alive. That's a sardine. That's alive. How is it alive in your pocket? I don't know. I thought these were saltwater fish, but I got this at the lake, so.

Oh, my God. Sir, I just, I don't need to see the fish. Wet pockets don't have fish in them. Use those. Okay, so that rolls out back left, front bottom. We've got front bottom okay that there's a pretty big you know i see a pretty big shape in there it looks kind of like gnome shape yeah um okay i i went fishing this morning you don't need to keep saying that okay it's a grenade it's a it's a live grenade. It's real.

Oh, my God. Everyone scatters. No, no, no, no, no. I've got a permit and everything. I probably shouldn't have brought it in here. I don't know if I have a permit for that. I have a permit to own it, though. Sir, sir, sir.

Whoa, stop flailing it around. What if I just pulled it? I'm fucking with you. I'm fucking with you. You went fish. How is that relevant to you? You just. Sometimes I get bored. I chuck him in the lake I'm fucking with you. You went fishing? How is that relevant to you? Sometimes I get bored. I chuck him in the lake, catch fish that way.

That's illegal, I know, but fuck it. What are they going to do, catch me? I think I need to call the police. You're not a cop. I'm a manager. Oh, fuck me. I could have been out of here. Oh, shit.

I didn't need to show you the grenade. I didn't need to show you the grenade. I did not need to show you the grenade. Your hand to your head. You actually tossed the grenade. Oh, shit. You guys are going to want to duck. Oh, and we're all dead. And we're all dead.

Normal one. That's improv for you, huh? That's honestly... Should I go again? Sure, I can also go. Okay. Unless you have one that you really love. I don't. Okay.

This is a two-parter. This is also for the Grove location of World Market. You're crazy. I'm so insane. This is... First, we have four years ago. It says, over four years ago, five stars from Thomas C. Thomas. Thomas. um it says over four years ago five stars from thomas c thomas some thomas sitank engine sitank engine thomas satank engine so it there's he posted a five star

four years ago and then within four years ago uh replied to himself with an updated review. Awesome. First one is five stars. I go to this location often since I work nearby. I left a bad review. So, sorry. I need a... There were three reviews in this thread. I'm not going to read the first one. Holy shit.

Because it's just like how the lines were long and like not many clerks were available. And that was two stars then within the same year five stars i go to this location often since i work nearby i left a bad review previously however i wanted to make sure i praise two females that always greet me and make me laugh when i see them no i feel pleased to see them when i go to that store um i'm gonna give her a fake name uh trisha's hilarious she really helps me get what I want quick and will open register to get me out faster Trish is one funny lady

grabbed a ladder just to help me find the right snack gives me second servings at the tasting table tells me I'm thin from working out too much Melanie is a hoot and her laugh can be heard from miles away put those two together I walk out laughing thanks ladies you two make my day.

Oh my god. The only reason I go back and suggest others to shop there. I stopped by Saturday and had a blast there with the Halloween spirit in the air. Notice the older cashiers were still too slow.

Otherwise, had a great time. Now, within that same year, one star. This is before or after that weird one? This is after that one. Okay. Never been so frustrated. Rebecca kept touching me.

I just wanted to pay. She kept apologizing and touching my arm. Unprofessional. She seemed overwhelmed. Regular cashier, older lady that's always sitting. So, so rude. told me i had to be helped by someone else the same person cut me off in line to use the restroom i used to love this place it's like fucking he loves when the younger when the younger associates are like helpful and

they told me i'm so jacked and then as soon as anyone over 40 is like, maybe flirting, he's like, ew, fucking disgusting. It's so inappropriate. Hate this place. It's just a master class in how not to behave. It's amazing. It's amazing. I'm also just like, obviously his behavior sucks. This guy sounds like a bad guy but it's also just like the uh the like mentality of like he's treating it like it's the the bar from cheers yes you know

what i mean it's like yeah i i used to love coming here man like this this place used to have a vibe these are my girls my girls he talks like a creepy old bar fly that's like man this place used to have a vibe these are my girls my girls he talks like a creepy old barfly that's like man this place you should have come here back in the day pre-pandemic man this place we we used to it was like a family in here we loved each other man the girls don't even get me started on the girls okay boys it's our weekly guys out, and it's my turn to pick the spot. Brad, I know you picked Barney's Beatery last week, and that was fun. It was a classic bar vibe. We all loved it, right?

Odds, he picks Dave and Buster's again, this fucking guy. Oh, man, no, he's not going to do Dave and Buster. I mean, he loves a game, but, like, come on, it's a little too much. Hey, speaking of Dave and Buster's, I almost call it Gay and Buster's I mean, he loves a game, but like, come on, it's a little too much. Speaking of Dave, I almost call it Gay and Busters. That's my bad. I'm gonna go Gay and Busters and Dave and Busters. That's a really

nice one, man. But no, I'll bet you like 20 bucks the guy picks Dave and Busters. Dude, if Rick doesn't, okay, if Rick does pick, I'll give you 20 bucks. If he doesn't, then you owe me 20 bucks. That's exactly right. Okay, gentlemen, I know the you $20. If he doesn't, then you owe me $20. That's exactly right. Okay, gentlemen, I know the moment you've been waiting for. Where's Rick going to take us on Guys Night Out?

GNO, the classic phrase for Guys Night Out. Well, I'll tell you. I've never heard that. I actually, I think it's like GNO is like Girls Night Out. It's like the thing. Oh, is it? That would explain why I've never heard it. Let's go, GNO.

My daughter, she listens to some early 2000s pop, and it would explain why let's go gno my daughter she listens to like some you know like early 2000s pop and it's like let's go gno it's a girl's song okay drum roll please gentlemen girl dad that's what i love about you i love being a girl dad like honestly you're great at it thank you like she's she's my friend like she's my daughter but she's my friend you know i learn a lot from her and she from me. That's amazing. You know, I hope, you know, if Melanie and I are ever so blessed, you know, I really hope we have a daughter one day. You're going to be, you're going to be, hey, whatever, whatever, whatever gender of child you have, you know, when, once they, you know, gender is a spectrum.

Oh, absolutely. Whoever, whoever comes into your life, you're going to be an amazing dad to them. Totally. Totally. Amazing dad to them. But sometimes, but sometimes I do to them totally but sometimes I do and I totally agree with you obviously gender is a construct it's all performance it might not be the gender that they actually are exactly and they'll find out

and they'll find out who they are and that's part of their journey and how beautiful to be a steward as they go along their journey and isn't that a wonderful journey of life and, and that's not for me to – And how beautiful to be a steward as they go along their journey. And isn't that a wonderful journey of life and discovery, and I love all of that. But sometimes I like – we got three boys already. I'm like, let's mix it up a little bit. Of course, of course, of course.

Just like let's get some other energy in here. But your boys are good men. You're raising some good men. Thank you for saying that. I'm very proud of the way I raise my boys. I'm very, very proud of you. I would trust my daughter with your sons you know and that really means something biggest compliment good man I mean if there's anything Melanie and I have you

know we that is exactly what it's like you know especially in today's age like men can be so there's such like a toxic vasculator and so to raise a good man like you guys are really doing it I mean when you've got you know t-r-u-m-p in the white house saying god knows what right you know and oh i thought you said t-i you meant when you got t-i in the white house you know i'm on a boat is that no that's t-pain i'm old uh should we let this guy pick which restaurant okay jen what are we doing okay at this point you know dave and buster's wouldn't be too bad. I love Dave & Buster's.

I don't mind it. I'm just giving the guy, you know, fucking whatever the word is. If you guys are thinking that I'm bringing you to Dave & Buster's, you are incorrect. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. He's changing it up. Gentlemen. Here's your 20. The place that I am taking us all this evening in my Fiat is, well, it's kind of a hidden gem.

It's my sanctuary. It's a place where everybody knows my name. I got friends there. I've been coming here for a long time. And I haven't brought you guys because it's been a safe place for me to let loose. You're holding out on us? Be myself. No, no, no. I love you guys. And that's why I'm like, you know what? Why not bring the boys in?

Why not bring them? He's been holding out on us. Look at that. It's because I want to bring you guys in. Because there's some good people there. Hey, I want to bring good people together with good people. And the women. They got a kitchen? And the women. Well, they have things for your kitchen. Well, hang on. I can't. A couple things I haven't done once there. Okay, I meant do they have food? They do have food.

They do have food. Just like a chicken sandwich or something. I just didn't eat dinner. They have all the ingredients except the bread and the meat and the produce. But if you want to get a nice aioli oh my god gentlemen if you haven't been able to guess already we're going to world market cost plus cost plus i'm not trying to put anybody out world market who Who's ready? Who's fucking ready to have the night of their lives?

I've never... Have you ever been to world market? You know, Robin goes sometimes around the holidays just to get some deals and some fun decor and stuff. But I... This was... These were my dinner plans. I thought we were going somewhere we could eat.

No, I mean... Melanie went there a couple years ago she she got a chair for the dining room um and it's it looks good but it's the most uncomfortable chair so we just call it the bad chair the bad i think i've sat on that chair guys yeah i thought what did you say about the women oh that's the best but you're not the best part. You're not going for the food. You're not going for the pumpkin-shaped pasta or the tufted rugs. You're going for the girls. Let's just get there, and you guys will see what I mean. Well, I mean, listen, Tim, we are happily married. I know that after the divorce, things have been... Mental health has been a little on the rocks.

And we're here for you. We're here to support you, but... Totally, totally. I think the women aren't... We're not... That's not why we're... I hear you. I hear you completely. I hear you completely.

I hear you completely. But hey, nothing wrong with making a new friend. Well, well, and I want to say something though. You know, I mean, I don't, I've never really opened up to you boys about this before. But, you know, Melanie and I, we've had something of an arrangement. Okay, Richard. Our marriage has been open since 2014 whoa now that's really interesting i got some questions for you later about that well she

wanted to explore some stuff i wanted to it's very it was all very healthy that's very cool thank you but but what i will say is even given that i these women are at work right they don't need us to go. They're trying to do their jobs. They're not, they're not trying to have some sleazy old guys hitting on them while they're trying to stock the shelves. You're right. You're absolutely right, Richard.

They don't need some sleazy old guys. So that's why I'm bringing my awesome middle-aged buddies. Do we go? Do we do this? Do we? I mean, I feel like if I don't want to go i want to go to david buses with you and like shoot some hoops and have wings i feel like have a meal i want to eat i'm starving i feel like if we don't go he is hanging on by a goddamn thread if we don't go i god may god rest his soul and like really can god's dead i'm fucking with you

um okay let's go are we going or not because i feel like you guys are really kind of souring on the idea of world market and i wanted to maybe it's maybe it's dumb i just wanted to share a piece of myself with you guys no no no no no no. No, buddy, no. No, no, no. Let's, well, hey, how about we go and if in like 10 minutes, five minutes we're not having fun,

then maybe we call it. Happy. I'm happy. Trust me. Within the first 20 seconds you guys are going to want to, trust me, once you meet the ladies there,

oh my God, once you guys meet the women, it's going to be the best time. Cut to the world market. Automatic doors open. Daddy's home. Where are my girls at? Where are my girls?

Sophie, Lexi, I'm back. Oh, shit. He's back. Make Randall do it. I don't want to go out there. This is bullshit. Make Randall. Okay, if we go, let's just go.

Oh, we have to restock the hot chocolate, like the artisanal hot chocolate. Okay. Hey, Randall. Randall. What? Can you? They're back. The guy is back. Oh. Can't make don't make me do it

but you we please randall please please just this one time and we won't ask you to do it again please okay is there anything you can do for me it's not a transaction it's just you're doing it's a favor okay but do you want it i'm not gonna kiss you randall okay fine i'll go daddy's home where am i going daddy's home well jesus christ i've never seen him talk like this that sucks hey man i've never oh hey randall hey this is randall these are my buddies richard and tim we are here i've come to show them the beauty. I can show you the world market. Yeah, I'm really just trying to show them a good night out. That's clever.

That's really clever. Randall, so nice to see you. Obviously, always happy to see you. Where are my girls? Where are my best girls? I don't know who you're referring. He's so funny. He's so dry.

I mean, he's like a saltine. He's so dry. Talking about Sophie and Lexi. Come on. The best girls. he's so funny he's so dry i mean he's like a saltine he's so dry um talking about sophie and lexi come on the best girls oh oh it's a thursday night and i know you're you're talking to me like i don't know their work schedule come on oh that's so he knows that sucks that sucks oh michael gave him the night off actually he said that we were over staff for a thursday night in in september so he let him go early so there i think they went home um it's just a hey randall can i play you a second might be here around here no god no god i don't want to

see barb randall can i play I please? What's his problem with Barb? What is his problem with Barb? Randall, I'm just trying to show my friends a good time. Okay. So let's be real. Like, we don't want Barb, right? What do you mean? We're Sophie and Lexi for real.

I don't understand the premise. It's just Barb is, you know, you know, don't make me say it. I would like you to say it. She's 35. Right. And you are. Well, that's not important. I mean, I'm a young 47.

Okay. So. So I'm just young 47 Okay So I'm just trying to So you were 13 when she was born I'm trying to show my friends A good time She's just a little old Okay

This sucks He thinks he's whispering And I can hear every word This sucks I feel bad for this Randall kid. I feel bad for him too. I think we call it. This sucks. I think we pull him out. You know what I'm starting to worry about? What?

We haven't heard any confirmation yet about these girls' ages. Now he said 35 was too old, but I'm starting to sweat man hey i'm gonna say hey randall hey i'm tim nice to meet you i remember meeting you from before a minute ago oh thank you so much uh hey randall just we don't it's okay if they're if those girls aren't here um Are you guys all in college together? Are you, is this? No. Okay. I'm a little nervous for which way we're going to go.

You're not in college. Oh, God. You're post-grad. Well, not really. Oh, shit. Not really as in no or? Well, like I. Oh, shit. Not really as in no or? Well, like I'm taking some classes. And the other girls, are they in school?

I'm just curious. My daughter, you know, she's- They're not even here. I know. I'm just- You're asking a lot of questions about young girls. How old are the girls? What? No, we are cool.

We actually- No, no, you don't get it. No... No, no, you don't get it. We're just trying to look out, make sure they're okay. We're trying to make sure they're okay. Wait, what are you guys? You guys are nervous? No, we want to make sure they're okay. I don't know precisely how old they are.

Are they like... They're like over 25? No, they're not over 25. Oh, they're not over 25. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I can definitely say they're not over 25. What?

Like 21? It's definitely like a... Yeah, I'd say like within a couple of years, probably. Over 18 or no? I would have to think so, yeah. Okay. But i don't know i've never that's fine that's fine wait why why are you guys freak listen i'm just we're calling it we're calling it i gotta go to wendy's or something i'm starving man we gotta get some food I feel like you guys think I'm like a bad guy. Yeah, a creep, I'd say.

I'm not, no, you don't care. You haven't seen the way these girls talk to me. Ew, shut the fuck up, man. I'm sorry. No, no, I'm sorry. I gotta do this, man. I'm really sorry. You wanna do this now?

Yeah, Tim, I gotta do this. You know, I don't have daughters myself i you know maybe someday melanie and i will be so blessed but i i think um you know and i wouldn't and that's that's the point right i don't need to have daughters to know that this sucks right like this what you're doing here sucks big time. It's really gross. They make me feel good about me. Because I think the part of your brain, there's a part of your brain, right, in there in your head that is broken, right?

And I think you need to see somebody, maybe a therapist or just a doctor generally. See if they can fix what's broken in there. And you should stop coming to World Market. And I'm going to use a word now, harassing. Do we feel okay? No, that feels good. Randall, does that feel right? That's right. Harassing these young women right right okay so i'm gonna go to wendy's get a burger

well then what's the point of going out on the town we can't be friends with you anymore get tinder man but i want to know i want you to show me that i don't even think he should know because if i can you know i can't be trusted with that the age filter on there maybe i'll let you have it i and i honestly don't even think that would fix me no i the way you spoke about barb barb is just I mean, she's got crow's feet, you know? Jesus. You're a bitch. I say we kill him.

Should we do our last segment? Let's do our last segment. This shook me all week long. All week long, this was shaking me up. I felt like those scenes were really normal. Really? Yeah. Okay.

You didn't? The one where you took a grenade out of your pocket and blew up World Market? Oh, yeah. I thought that one was maybe a little strange. But the one where you were a sex pest at World Market harassing employees. What about the first one where I was like a sex pest um at world market harassing employees i was like a disney princess in world market and making the one yeah that one was normal maybe kiss somebody yeah the kissing part was super normal okay i have a shaking of me that has been hit us with it please so i think i've definitely talked about this on the pod

before but it's because it's that time of year and it's it's relevant now um as we all know i'm a coward when it comes to horror movies and such and like being scared and but i do i am a little freak and i'm a little sicko because I love watching walkthroughs of, you guessed it, Halloween Horror Nights mazes because that's right. I'm never going to go again. I went once and I hated it. But there's something about the safety of of watching it in the daytime on my computer or my TV that i don't know is it's it's that time of year i'm like all right

they let they had the media day and they were allowed to record in the houses that being said the i watched the first insidious and only the first one and by watched i mean listened to it because my eyes were closed for so much of it because i was so scared that's the scariest movie i've ever seen in my entire life. But you've seen The Nun. And The Insidious Maze. I had nightmares last night watching it on my computer. Really? It was the scariest shit I've ever seen.

Where is it again? At Universal Studios, but the Hollywood one isn't open. The Hollywood Horror Nights doesn't start for another couple weeks in la but the one in florida is weird guys if you also go to the discord if you guys also watch ride through i have a fascination with theme parks and theme park lore it's like a weird is it a ride or is it just a walkthrough no they're mazes they're like haunted houses but i also watch so what it's just a person with with a GoPro strapped to their head? Yes.

Walks through a maze? Yes. Interesting. It's a weird little interest of mine. A roller coaster makes more sense to me. I do roller coaster. I'll do dark rides. It's like there's something about things that I.

It's exploring a thing that scares me from a distance. Exploring a thing that scares me. Would distance. Exploring a thing that scares me. Would you ever go? Think about that. If I was in LA, would you ever? I went once on a date in high school. I think I've told the story before. Apologies if I'm not.

But I don't know if you know the story. I went on a date in high school with a boy to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios, Los Angeles. Okay. And I was really scared, but I thought it'd be the kind of cute thing of like oh I'm going with I'll be able to like hold on to him and be like oh I'm so scared but I actually was a level of scared that was like this isn't fun I'm fucking terrified even just walking through like the scare zones and the people with the chains it was probably at the time like the

purge was coming out so it was like all the people in the purge mask getting real close to my feet with chainsaws and coming up to scaring it was like i felt like i wanted to throw up i was so scared and um but he had a great night didn't he we went through nope we went through a maze our first and only maze we did oh no we did two one of them i had my eyes closed the entire time it was an evil dead maze and i could hear all the sounds but i literally i was like i'm just gonna hold on to your back and we're just gonna walk through and i'm not gonna look we went to uh la llorona maze and i was walking with him he got jump scared he bolted left okay now he's a piece of shit for that he bought and he knew how scared and i was telling him like i need you how how how alone like he like he ran i didn't see like he went he ran through the rest of maze and a group behind me like this group of friends or family whatever saw what happened they saw how

fucking terrified i was like do you want to walk with us do you want to like be in our group for this maze i'm like please yes thank you and they were like around me and like letting me hold on to them and walk with these straight these kind strangers and so by the time we get out of the maze i see him standing there just like tail between his legs and he was a kind of laughing he's like i'm so sorry i'm like that was actually not cool that was really fucked up um and then of course too man when when scare actors and cast members there when they see that you're really scared that's the point they love that so we're walking around i am so scared by somebody like they corner me and then other people see them other characters so i had

like three people around me at one time being like oh we got a live one and like um it was horrible so i will not be going back no second date huh there was where'd you go for that one no my friend was in a musical we went to that and he didn't really like it i'm like i think we're fine i think we're done so it was him not liking musical theater that was the turnoff, not him abandoning you in a nightmare cave? Yeah. That's really funny. So that's what's been shaking me. Well, shit, man.

I was going to suggest we go to one sometime, but now I doesn't feel like something you'd enjoy. No, it would actually be horrible well speaking of scary things and the spooky fall of it all i've been re-watching um from the beginning what we do in the shadows yes it's just so fucking good where are you now what episode are you on i just made it finish the first season again god so it's so funny it's just so funny and fun and like just clever and like just it's just fucking good. It's just a fucking good show. If you were in L.A., you, me and Daniel for Halloween would have to ultimately be Laszlo Nadja and Nandor. I think I think I'm more kind of barren coded.

You are barren coded. You are barren for sure just kind of walking around like that it was just more because you do such a good matt berry and i think it's like daniel would ultimately need to be nandor and you that's crazy that's crazy we couldn't do that we absolutely could. You and I would be slow and fast. It's so fucking funny. How funny would that be? And by the time hopefully... My lady wife.

Daniel and I would have our dog and so the dog could be Guillermo. That's cute. My lady wife Nadja. And our dog Guillermo. Gizmo. Oh, it's so good. Gizmo the dog.

I want a dog now too get it get one get it get it and then they can be besties you can find alpha on instagram huh i was gonna say our dogs would be like entering kindergarten at the same time yeah we could raise our dogs together we could raise our dogs together we could raise our dogs together and that's honestly it's like college best friends dream of raising their dogs together i've always ever since we met i was like i want us to raise our dogs together yeah i want them to go to the same doggy daycare i want them to take each other to the doggy prom is that crazy is that crazy you can find alfred on instagram at alfred in it the show on instagram at review

review reddit r slash review review discord review hey guys review review discord please let me know if anyone else does like ride or maze watch throughs um yeah jeff and I have a patreon patreon.com slash rileyandjeff where we do our monthly zardies and just to find Riley on instagram.com just the web browser not the phone app at rileyandspa and on twitter.com

known as xxxxxxx.com for as long as it lasts at rileycoyote and on TikTok, it's always something in the party, at Riley Anspa, and as we say every single week on the show, we're always saying it,

we're never not saying it. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks, man. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. We'll see you guys next time. Bye. That was a Hidgum Original.