Review Revue - Ziploc Bags

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

This week on Review Revue; Geoff and Reilly unbag some existential dread during a press conference, try some home-made Cajun cooking, help a young child transition to being a successful adult, and read reviews on ZIPLOC BAGS.  Follow at: IG: @reillyanspaugh & @geoffreyjames Twitter: @reilecoyote & @GeoffBoyardee <><> Produced by Daniel Ramos @Schubirds Advertise on Review Revue via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get that Angel Reef Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And participating restaurants for a limited time.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a paper bag. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a bag rice goes in a bag rice goes in a paper bag we all want to reduce our carbon footprint all the cardboard we use don't you know it's such a strain when you use boxes for all of your grains. I want to be somebody who knows. I want to be somebody.

I want to be somebody who knows. I want to be somebody who knows. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a paper bag. You guys can sing along. Come on. Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a paper bag. You guys can sing along. Come on. Rice goes in a bag.

Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a paper bag. Here we go. Rice goes in a bag. It goes in a bag. It goes in a bag. Rice goes in a bag. Woo! Rice goes in a bag That came in from Evan.

Rice goes in a bag. Rice goes in a bag. That's a parody of I Won't Let You Down by OK Go. Do you remember OK Go? Of course. I loved OK Go. The best music videos of all time. I think the Daniels did a lot of their music videos. Actually?

Yeah. Casey knows the Daniels. Really? Yeah. music videos. Actually, Casey knows the Daniels. Really? Let's stop recording. That mic is not on. We're in the studio. We're in the studio. This is our first time recording Review Review in the studio.

Second time in person ever. No. We've been so many. Twelfth then, but it sounds more special if it's the first time ever but also the last because we made a big meal out of the last first time ever which was in my home office

and the sound was shit that wasn't in person though because it was in person we were in my cramped office sitting so close in a tinny room no no no we were social distancing we weren't We were in my cramped office sitting so close in a tinny room. No, no, no, no, no, no. We were social distancing. We weren't.

Really? Yes. Okay, go. We made dinner together. Was it pasta? We made chicken piccata with pasta. Chicken piccata with pasta. And you plucked rosemary from outside and sprinkled it on the table.

That's not in person. What? Because if you're not in a studio, then you're not actually being anywhere. Does that make sense? No. So then where are you the rest of the day? Once we're out of here,

even if it's like if we're working in the office. I'm working from home. But that's, no, you're not anywhere. Oh, you're not anywhere. I have never spent time in person with my family because I've never been in a studio. Okay. So that theme song was an amazing callback to this stupid fucking bit. That's from several weeks ago. Where we're through, where you're like, I'll just take it in a bag.

Trying to be green. Loose rice in a bag. And that's not only a deal breaker, but then sort of an aphrodisiac how because then they end up having sex i think not because of the rice i thought it was because it was later it was like oh god and if you guys are listening and you don't listen to every episode and you missed that one none of this makes any sense no then we're just it's well i was gonna say this is nonsense but everything is everything is nonsense. Everything is nonsense. And everything is in person.

Because the world's a studio. I am very excited to be in person. We're in, this is like, we're with Casey. Yeah. We're in the studio. Guarantee Casey's never heard the show, so he doesn't know what we're talking about. Casey has no idea loose rice in a bag. Yeah.

What's new, boo? Whoa. What's new, boo? Whoa. What's new? Engelbert Humperdinck style. I'm thriving and alive in Los Angeles, California. Hollyweird, California. Actually, California doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the United States, does it? Mick Jagger said that.

Slow down. Just like take a fucking second. The Rolling Stones toured the United States. And they were in Los Angeles. And Mick Jagger was like, we haven't started the American tour yet because California doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the United States, does it? We're seeing a concert tonight. Yeah. We're going to a concert together tonight. That's new.

We're going to see a Collier shirt. Jacob Collier? A Collier shirt. Got it. We're going to a concert together tonight. That's new. We're going to see a Collier shirt. Jacob Collier? A Collier shirt. Got it. We're seeing Jacob Collier tonight. That's exciting. We're seeing Jacob Collier shirt tonight in a bag. Jacob in a bag, Collier shirt.

Speaking of bags, speaking of bags. What's the most, what's the tightest bag? And don't say a Reformation vintage tote, by the way. Because there's actually a tighter seal that happens to be ideal. On a first date. So tell me more about you. What's the tightest bag in your opinion So tell me more about you. What's the tightest bag in your opinion?

Tell me more about me? Like I want to know more about you. So in your opinion, what's the tightest bag, would you say? And don't say Reformation Vintage Tote. Can I speak? Even. Today we're talking about an incredible invention. Invention. A tight ass bag.

Easy. This bag. So fucking awesome. Awesome? You should call it Ziploc. They should call it. Yeah, she's crying. So they should call it Ziploc because it's awesome.

We're talking Ziploc bags. we're talking ziploc bags we're talking ziploc bags are those the burnt sienna nails because they looked very different in person in a cool way but they looked more orange on camera um they are it's in this light they're looking a little bit more bright red they are well no because you know what sorry backing it up you called them burnt sienna they're more of a bright orange red than they are. Because you said bright orange red. Yes. But on camera, it appeared a burnt sienna. You said that because I was showing you a photo. Because you were on camera. I was showing you a screenshot of a TikTok on my Zoom camera. So it could have looked purple for all I know. Sure, sure, sure. That's what I'm saying, though.

To you, they were bright red, orange. To me, three screens. Casey, what color would you say these are? Bright red, orange. Thank you. We're talking about Ziploc bags. To me, they seal. They do seal.

What? To you? To me, they seal. To everyone, probably. But to me, I can only speak from my experience. They seal. What's your favorite? Do you like the little sandwich?

Really? Wait, are those the really small ones? Yes. No, I like the whatever regular size. Regular size or freezer gallon? Not freezer gallon. Wow. I never need the gallon.

Wow. Yeah. I love- I want the gallons to swing from the gallows. Holy shit It's so dark Publicly execute the gallon freezers I want them gone

Why? Because that's too many products Some things it's nice if there's only a couple I never use the sandwich bag ones I almost consistently always use the freezer gallons Even for a sandwich? What I'm saying is for what I make, I'll make a big sauce or a stir fry

or whatever I have left over. You're saying you don't freeze a sandwich. Do you freeze a sandwich? Sometimes you want to pre-prepare a grilled cheese with an Asiago crust. The crust has nothing to do with you freezing it. I'm just adding details

about my life. Don't. It's sad adding details about my life. Don't. Don't need to know. It's sad to hear about your life. No, I don't want to hear about you meal prepping grilled cheese to put in the freezer. You know, usually when people meal prep, they're trying to get like a balanced meal. They're trying to get a protein, a side, and a vegetable. You're just prepping fucking fontina between sourdough.

My god. That's crazy that you don't use the freezer gallons. I'm not going to apologize for it. You know what's really satisfying? Have you ever labeled a Ziploc bag like wrote on it with Sharpie?

It's really satisfying. It glides on there. To put pen to bag? To put pen to bag is an incredible experience. To put pen to bag, Lee, it is just, it's really, it glides. Does it glide or does it slide? Because I actually wonder if it even takes. You have to be patient.

Right. So it's not ideal. It'll smear. Right. But You have to be patient. Right. So it's not ideal. It'll smear. Right. But you have to be careful. And what if you're labeling it schmear? Because you made a cream cheese with a little scallion. Let's be honest.

Do you want to kick us off? I'll kick us off tonight. Our energy is so excited. It's because we're in person, which again, can only happen in the confines of a film. What? Of a studio, I meant. Pick one. Two stars. For what kind?

This is for the freezer quart, which I think is less, isn't it? Than a gallon, yeah. Right. Two stars from Home Cooking Husband. Do you want to give this person a first and last name? Home Cooking Husband is going to be Bobby Flay. Bobby Filet? Bobby Flay.

This is actually Bobby Flay? It's Home Cooking Husband Bobby Flay. Okay. That does Bobby Flay. This is actually Bobby Flay? It's home cooking husband Bobby Flay. Okay. That does sound like a cooking show name. Bobby Flay is a celebrity chef. No, I know. I mean like home cooking husband sounds like a Food Network show. It sounds like him. It's like not the competition version. It's just him at home

making recipes for his family. Or it's Jeffrey, the barefoot Contessa's husband. And he's kind of taking a crack at making a snack. Why don't I make a little scallop potato tonight? Well, Jeffrey, because you don't know how to cook. Well, why don't I become a home cooking husband? Why don't I give it a shot?

Why don't you stick to the cash? Because I think her husband works in finance. Why don't you stay in your fucking lane, Jeffrey? And go to the bedroom and wait. Two stars. I've used Ziploc freezer bags for years and love the convenience. I make a lot of soups and stocks and freeze the bags on their side, then line them like books in the freezer when frozen.

Occasionally I get a bag that leaks out the side of the zipper and needs to find another bag. But this last box I bought has a lot of leakers, so I need to find another solution. Got to miss the Ziploc convenience. Don't say leakers. Got a lot of leakers. Just lining them like books.

And this is my library. Oh, my God. This is. Cold, yeah. Right. So the library, you mean it's like this is the library fridge where we just passed through. Like your office. So you have a little mini fridge in your office.

I think that's amazing. You have like all, you know, all these meals in here. So I bet when you're really busy, it's just nice to grab something out of it. This is the library. And by the way, I'm supposed to be the star of the show on an architectural digest tour. This is supposed to be me showing my house off,

not the cameraman show. Jesus. No, I'm not Jesus. It's like it was right that I reacted that way. I'm so sorry, Mr. Stiles. Listen, I'm just trying to, you know, interact a little bit more. But you're right. You're right.

This is my library. Yeah. This is your architectural digest tour. We've got vegetable broths. We've got chicken stocks. We've got a sauce. Or ten. Lined like volumes. Because I don't read.

I make soup. Could you just give me one second? Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, I know he just yelled at me. It just really kind of like put me on blast in front of the whole crew. But I feel like I have to guide this a little bit. Because it's going to be embarrassing for him.

You're being crazy. It's going to be embarrassing for him. It's being crazy. It's going to be embarrassing for him. It's Harry Styles. It's embarrassing for you so far. It's going to be. Do you guys want him to have a video out there? I don't care about him. You're his manager. You want to have a video out there of him saying, I don't read. I make soup. Here are my volumes. Here's a potato leek. Here's a carrot. Here's a ginger. He didn't have a potato leek. That's putting words in his mouth.

Okay. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I feel like I need to guide it a little bit more because if I don't, I fear that we're going to spend the rest of the interview talking about his soup books. All right. Let's try like, ask him about his music. Ask him about what he's working on. Okay. Thank you so much for waiting. So, wow, this is incredible uh you have so many hobbies it's amazing but let's get back to the heart of the issue where do you make the magic where do you make your music i well usually i end up going to a studio because obviously i have like a record deal so they pay for the studio time of course i'm shocked you don't have a home studio well you know what it's just it's not i like to work somewhere else because otherwise i just take inspiration from things that are a little too personal to me.

Like just the other day I started writing this little ditty. Oh, uh-oh. Are we going to get a sneak peek? We are. Are we going to get a sneak peek? I'll sing you a couple bars. Architectural Digest exclusive. Harry Styles music.

What is it you seek? Potato leek. There it is. So that one's sort of a club banger club banger because i've yeah beautiful and so you said you took inspiration uh for that is that i know a lot of your music you use food as metaphor right you know like kiwi watermelon sugar of course yeah so that was about eating pussy this is about potato leek soup. Yes. And so potato leek soup stands for comfort, stands for home. Correct.

It stands for beautiful. Exactly right. That's why I like the soup. Oh, right. So then the memories that potato leek soup evokes, that's kind of what the song's about, I'm imagining, is like being home with family. And, you know, on a cold winter's night, you love nothing more than the feeling of a warm embrace. It's, it's, you're almost giving it too much credit. No, come on.

Like some songs, like I love the Beatles. Obviously, I take a lot of inspiration from, you know, 60s rock. Yeah. A lot of their songs were sort of nonsensical. Right. And so how do you make sense of it all? You interpret your own meaning. You make a broth and you sing about it.

Can you give me one second? Of course. I'm so sorry. Did you guys just see that? What the hell was that? What do you mean with that? Wait, what the hell was that? He's talking about soup. He's talking about soup again. No, you're trying to like put words into his mouth. You're trying to like You're mad at me? Yes, you're being crazy. I'm trying to lead him to something bad. I'm trying to lead him to

a good video. This isn't even my job. I'm supposed to be talking about his house. I'm supposed to be talking about his architectural inspiration design. I don't know anything about music. If he wants to talk about soup, we're going to talk about soup. It's Harry Styles. This isn't true. You're in his library. You're his manager.

You're okay with this? You're okay with him being like, I'm going to write a nonsensical song about soup? First of all, he said it was nonsensical, but then he said it's about soup. So he didn't even pick which one it was. Well, it doesn't make sense that it's about soup. So you agree? Yes. What do you want me to do?

A bell ring. That's lunch! Oh, I've been really looking forward to this part of the day. Yeah, me too, man. Me too. Who wants some boulevaux? What? I started experimenting with, like, Cajun cuisine. There's, like, a boulevaux soup. Sure, I'll try

some of that. Gives you a bowl. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really good at soup. It's like in Ratatouille. In the critic's eyes. Back to childhood.

I'm on. You grew up on the bayou. I'm not even from there, but I'm like, my childhood in the bayou. Oh, my God. Carnivals of your. Flash forward. You gave me a life I didn't even know I had. I gave you a life you didn't have.

Thank you. I know. I know. All right. Should we take a quick break? Just a tiny one. Tiny. Just a baby.

A baby break. Baby break. A baby bell. Cheese in a soup. Ew. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back, actually.

Your first review? Yeah. All of my reviews that I found are for the freezer gallon. Of course. So you're obsessed with the freezer gallon. I'm obsessed with the freezer gallon. I feel like you were really vying for it. But I didn't know how deep it went. I can't speak highly enough of the freezer gallon.

Why? So you don't even have a reason. This is from Christine T. Christine Thanks. Christine Thanks, three stars. The title is three stars. Okay. No comment at this time.

But you posted a review. No comment at this time. Okay. time but you posted a review no comment at this time okay i've uh called this press conference to discuss my retirement with you guys um obviously 19 years in the league and um i'm really proud of what we're able to accomplish but i don't even want to say too much before you guys ask questions and uh basically uh no comment we'll now open the floor to any questions any members of the press might have uh yes yeah i just want to say sir you have had an insurmountable career you have inspired the

lives of millions thank you and i'll just let you know my my son's got your jersey hanging in his room right now. You know, he wants him just like you when he grows up. Thank you, yeah. So if I could just ask anything. You can. Sorry. If I could just ask anything,

what would you say to, you know, kids who are looking to you as their idol, you know, moving forward in their life? Do you have any words of wisdom to impart? I really don't. Oh, come on.

Everyone's trying to guess. Everyone's like, oh, come on. That's funny. Don't be humble. Come on. I really don't. Oh, come on. Everyone's like, oh, come on. That's funny. Don't be humble. Come on. I'm not humble. Like, I'm one of the greatest.

But I don't have anything to say to kids. Well, you know, you've done so many youth events, you know, inspiring, just like, you know,

a lot of kids' summer camps. You've been, like, the star there. Yeah, I ran basketball camps, but I didn't have to say anything. No comment. Next question. Okay.

All right, you heard the man. All right, anyone else? Yeah. Hi. So I'd like actually just to piggyback off of what my colleague Zach just asked. Could you explain a little bit more? You're so guarded. Normally in every other

press tour you've done you've been so forthcoming you have been actually like really you're known for the for wearing your heart on the sleeve in a league where a lot of people are really shut down what's the turning point here i really would rather not say. But could you? Basketball was my life for 19 years. Everyone's furiously scribbling, like, oh, thank God. And I don't know who I am without it. So what you're looking at is a man going through an existential crisis, a three-quarters life crisis.

And even that was too much to say. You said more more than enough we have we have planning to print can we can we strike that can we strike that um no sir because you did not start it with saying off the record because this is a press conference because this is a perfect why did we even call why did i even call this press conference you called this because you're leaving after 19 years this is just what i do after every game i'd have a press conference okay i don't know what else to do this is all on i just want you guys to know that just for my journalistic integrity this is all on the record because you guys didn't say off the record you know how would you guys feel if you couldn't journal anymore you guys are all journalists well right we are journalists i journal in my spare time that's not my job imagine if that

was taken away from you. How would you feel? You would know who you are. What do I like even? You're asking us? I don't know. I don't know who to turn to. You have a life of 35 years.

Yeah, and you know who I've spent more time with over the last 35 years? Which, by the way, we got married young. We got married really young. Because I'm retiring at 40. Yes. I talked more to my personal trainer on the road This is all on the record.

I talked more to my personal trainer than my wife. Hey man, you really should quit while you're ahead. I don't want to be saying anything. You said no comment and now you're just divulging. Linda's not going to be happy. I scheduled an ice bath because that's what I would usually do to be saying anything. You said no comment, and now you're just divulging. Like, Linda's not going to be happy. I scheduled an ice bath because that's what I would usually do on my off days, but now every day's an off day.

I don't know what to say. I don't know who to be. What do you guys do for hobbies? This is your press conference. And I'm asking you. If we answer, will you tell us about why you're retiring? Why now? Yes.

I, uh, I like to play video games. It takes my mind off of the crazy things that I have to write about every day. Cause it's not every day that I get to interview a basketball legend. Usually I'm writing about war. You're sorry. You're an international relations correspondent and you're covering this? I'm a fan. Okay. Well, now I have even more questions for you. No, you know, it's your turn.

This is not a negotiation. This is your press conference. Well, you'd know about negotiations, wouldn't you? More than I'd like to, yeah. To be honest, the well ran dry. All right, I didn't get any offers beyond the veteran minimum from non-contending teams, and I wanted to hang up the Jordans. You wanted to hang up your shoes? Yeah. Because you know what? All I've ever known was vying for a title,

showing up every day, giving it my all, which I'm trying to do now. But usually there's a game to talk about, not like what my emotions are. Again, sir, we can shut this down anytime you like. It sucks. Then you call it off, or do you want me to call it off? The team president says that's enough. We have to get back on the bus. The team president's on the bus.

I know, I'm not on the team. Because you're not on the team anymore. That's exactly right. Do you want me to call this off? I don't know. We can hear everything. This is all great for the article, by the way. You want something you can print?

How about this? Eat my shorts. Eat my shorts. No, actually, I got a cake for everybody in the shape of my bull's shorts. So just to say thank you, actually, because you guys have been with, most of you have been with me for my entire career, asked me questions. Zach, I mean, you've been to every road game, and I really appreciate you guys.

Of course. But that's all I can offer at this time. Thank you. We're going to wrap this up. If I may. Yeah, Zach, what would we have to say? On behalf of, you know, speaking for all of us, just thank you. And more importantly, we're sorry.

We're sorry that the well ran dry. We're sorry that, you know, the time has come for you. And that's a hard thing. And so we really appreciate you sharing your vulnerability with us. You're going to make me cry. We love you. No, I love you. You guys are pretty cool, actually.

Maybe I'll be, yeah. Maybe I'll be a sports journalist. Um, I don't know if you have the qualifications for that. What did you do? When did you go to school? Journalism. For school,

okay, really? Yeah. Communications? Yeah. What about you? Also communications, journalism.

Fuck. I left college after two years. We know. Everyone together. We know. Oh, we, I'll give it a shot. You don't have to.

We're going to eat the cake of your shorts. No, let me try. Zach, when you, yeah. No, and that's a wrap. Thank you guys. How do you even come up with the questions? This is hard as shit. You know, it's easier dribbling a ball.

You don't have to think. In fact, i'm going back hey guys wait let me on the bus um all right another review five stars from terryla sorry terryla terryla and then we need a last name the first full name is Terry La yes can you spell that T-E-R-R-Y-L-A

Terry La Terry La Sanjulis Terry Los Angeles this is for Ziploc sandwich bags five star you said five stars

beautiful I use this brand for the following reasons it stays shut keeps food fresh fresh easy to close and open and save space in freezer. Good for crafts and good for storing. To honestly, I have none. And yes, it's affordable and I would recommend.

Can you read the first sentence again? Keeps food fresh, fresh? I use this brand for the following reason. It stays shut and keeps food fresh, fresh. I use this brand for the following reason. It stays shut and keeps food fresh, fresh. It looks like they're reading from a list that was prepared for them. Yeah, it's like, thank you so much for seeing me. I have dreamed of being a nanny for forever. And so when I saw your ad, you know, and the paper in the class, I was just so I feel like I really fit all of the descriptions that you and your kids are looking for. Yeah. Well, what descriptions?

Well, if I would quote you, you wrote this list very well, Mr. Smith. Looking for someone who keeps my kids mouth shut, who them from acting fresh fresh who keeps them in line keeps them on time but puts a smile on their face after nine and i think i can accomplish all those things let me list the two red flags that you just brought to the table. One is you said you've dreamt of being a nanny your entire life. Yes. Um, that's a little perturbing. In what way? I want a nanny who has aspirations

beyond the job. Because that's really what's gonna make you care for my kids and foster their dreams. I, sorry, my brain's a little, it's got like a little confused. I would imagine that you would have wanted a nanny

who loves kids, who wants to work with kids. No. Kids don't do well with, you know what? Forget it. Kids don't do well with love and adoration. How do you think I got to where I am? Did you have someone who keep your mouth shut and keep you from acting fresh fresh? Yes.

That's what I can do for your kids because I care about them. I want to make sure. How did you read that description and think that I care about my kids? No, I didn't know. I never meant to assume I care about kids. OK. And so I want what's best for them. And I do believe, I honestly, I've gone around all these gentle parenting. Oh, be careful. Oh, I love you. No.

Ew. That's exactly right. Ew. That's disgusting. They don't need that. They need someone who can keep them in line because they care. So I think the care behind it makes sure that I'll never let them know I care. Does that make sense?

Smiling after nine. Let's talk about it. Why do you think kids shouldn't smile before nine? And then I'll see if it's the same reason that I think that. Am I safe to assume that the nine is 9 p.m. in this case? Great. Because they should be working till nine.

Exactly right. They should be working their finger to the bone until nine. They should be so mentally depleted by the time. You're hired, by the way, but let's just keep talking. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I also, this is so not like me, but I did notice that you don't have a Mrs. in the house. What's that?

I'm not Mary Poppins. You don't. I just noticed that the house could use a little motherly touch. Are you lonely, Mr. Smith? I am. But that's what drives me to work. And remind me of what you do. I work in big soil. So basically, I'm a soil lobbyist where I try to get mulch to get bought. So I work with government officials. We donate a lot to campaigns to spread the good word that is

dirt. That's incredible. You're a visionary. You know what? I would be so lucky to have someone like you in my life to look up to. I bet your kids want to follow along in the family business. I'm not going to lie. I am physically, emotionally, and value set wise attracted to you. But to present unto my children a loving, healthy relationship would set them up for failure. I couldn't agree more. Why would you want to have an example like that in their lives?

That's just going to lead them to insane expectations that they'll never meet. Well, they'll be a bum. Sorry? They'll be a bum. A bum? Yeah, because if you're not working always, then you're basically – have you seen that movie I Am Legend? Not in a really long time. But I remember like bits and pieces of it.

Will Smith sort of wanders the streets aimlessly. And forget the context of it. It's just that's what he does every day. Isn't that – isn't he like one of the only – like isn't he like the last person on earth? It's like him and a dog. If I'm the last person on earth, you better believe I'm clocking in. Let's be honest about that. And I don't want my kids to turn out like Will Smith and I am legend.

I want them to work. I want them to work hard. I want them to grind. I want them to... Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! We made...

Oh, hello, hello. We made pictures for you. Get out of here. I'm so sorry, sir. Don't apologize. Work. I worked really hard on this painting for you, Daddy. I did finger paintings and I thought I looked just like you.

You can work hard, but if you don't have the results, did you work at all? Show us the picture you made. Hi, I'm Rebecca, by the way. I'm going to be your new nanny. Oh, no. I hate when to be your new nanny. Oh, no. I hate when daddy hires new nannies. What? Don't.

Why? Why would you say that? Because they try and keep our mouths shut and keep us from being fresh, fresh. What is that, by the way? The only reason I put that on the list. You wrote that. No, I wrote it because they keep saying it. What is fresh, fresh?

It's, well, yeah, what is fresh fresh? Well, I bet daddy doesn't remember because he blacks out into a fit of rage whenever we act fresh fresh. Well, it's not rage. And he says that whenever we talk back to him, which isn't even really talking back. It's just he says, like, don't smile. And we're like, but I'm happy. And he says, oh oh now you're being fresh with me and so i think that's what he means when he says don't be fresh fresh

wow mr smith i i'm so impressed yeah this what this is you you don't even need me here that's interesting you're saying nobody home during the day i'm saying i've achieved the same thing i i did not go to school for uh childhood education i did not go what'd you go to school for i went to school for uh sports journalism oh wow yeah yeah yeah yeah and um just but from being around kids and having nieces and nephews, I can say that this is certainly the best thing you can do for your kids is to have no one home. But we think we would do best with some supervision. Darling, are you being fresh fresh? You've never called me that before. Sorry, darling, are you being fresh with me?

I'm not being fresh fresh with you, daddy. I think. I think you're being fresh fresh with you, Daddy. I think. I think you're being fresh fresh. That's going to be a punishment that I've never even thought of before. Here we go. That's going to be garage time. What's garage time? Garage time is where you spend time in the garage.

And I'll tell you when you can leave. Is that the place with the garage fish and the otter pops? No, that's the garage that I took those things out of it. Aww. Yeah, aww. And maybe you'll come up with a business idea when you're there. Okay. You are a wonder.

I don't know if you still want to keep me on board or if you don't need me, but regardless, I think we should enter into a physical and romantic relationship with i think that'll do just fine but stay away from my kids because you're almost too nurturing i think i will do just that uh do you want to do our last review oh boy do i again this is for you guessed it freezer gallon bags okay three stars from robin you get to pick the last name robin thick ass is that hyphenated is it one word it's hyphenated yeah his dad's name is dwert ass It's Dwert Ass. Robin Thick Ass. Oh, yes.

Correct. Oh, yes. Yeah, yes, yes. Three stars. The title is from Robin Thick Ass. Not what I was expecting. Disappointed because I thought I'd be receiving the design shown on the listing. Instead, I received a different holiday design with an elf.

The only reason I bought these was for the bulldog design, since I am a bulldog owner. I'll still use them, but definitely would not have paid this much for something I was not expecting. So, sir, the new uniforms are in. Wonderful. But I don't think these are the ones that you designed um well if they look snazzy fly and professional then yeah they're gonna be the ones i designed they don't look those things

um you ordered some kind of like a sleek you know green blue teal body suits for our uh you know staffers to wear when they're on the floor at glossier they sent us not even body suits they're they're basically have you seen robots the movie robots yeah in bits and pieces you know you know that character with the fat ass sorry it's made of metal sorry with with the bigriere, the big rear end that's made of metal. Yes. So these are. Oh, boy, do I. What's that?

Oh, boy. No, you're jogging the old brain. You're jogging the old, you know, the old brain. No, I remember. I remember that. Yeah. What were you saying? What were we talking about?

We were talking about the misprinted uniforms. But sorry, you kind of went somewhere else when I mentioned the fat ass robot from the movie Robots. Sorry, you know, you brought up the fat ass from the movie Robots. Yeah. Yeah. It's sort of actual junk in the trunk. It really, God, I'm casting my mind back. And it really, I mean, it's just a work of art. And I know it's a movie and I know it's not real, but my God, what if it was, right?

Like, what if? Can we talk off the record for a second? Sorry, yeah. Do you masturbate to the robot from Robots with the Fat Ass? I haven't in a long time. But you did at one point. But I did at one point, yeah. In a long time, meaning you did at one point. I did at one point. And in a long time meaning you did it enough that it was a regular

thing that to stop would be notable. This feels like such an inappropriate conversation to be having in the workplace. I brought it up because the uniforms that came in Bring someone in. Have someone put them on. Model it so I can see. Alright. I already was going to do that but it's starting to feel like a bad idea.

Richard, guy walks in. It's like the bodysuits from Glossier, but with like a fat junk ass. See, and what I don't understand is why the uniform company would even manufacture this, because this feels like different molds that you would need entirely. There's metal attached to the fabric. There is metal attached to the fabric. Yeah. Richard, you can go. Richard, you can go.

Richard, you can go. Richard, you should go. All right, yeah. I mean, it certainly wasn't what I had in mind. Right. I just, I fear that people won't buy the products because they'll be distracted by everyone's. They'll be distracted by those fat, juicy asses. Don't, yeah. just big rear ends.

Those, you know, fat ass. That thick, just like you could use it as a shelf kind of ass. Yeah, the shelf ass. Yeah. You know, when I first walked in here, I thought that this was kind of a manufacturing issue on their part. And I was going to try and get our money back. Yeah. Get the original uniforms.

But you seem to really have an affinity for this. Not only the robot from the movie Robots with the Fat Ass. Oh, God. But also the uniforms that came in themselves. You started to salivate sort of when Richard was in there. Well, I mean. I'm wondering, did you put a call in to Uniform Direct? If I'm thinking back, did I put a call in?

Well, first – This would have been in the last two weeks. I'm just – sorry. Hold on one second, Steven. I – remember, I am your boss. You know, we're friends. But no, I could fire you. Asshole.

Sorry? Nothing. I didn't say anything. I remember sending in the designs of the sleek jumpsuits. You know, we're changing up the color pad a little bit. We normally have the millennial pink. I thought, what if we did a muted seafoam green? Correct.

Something like that. But then, you know, now that I'm thinking back, it's just funny how the mind plays tricks on you. I'm remembering that the other night I did have a dream about the robot from Robots. Okay. And as a joke. No way. I called the manufacturing company.

I said, wouldn't it be so silly? Wouldn't it be so silly if we made the jumpsuits look like normal Glossier jumpsuits from the front. And as soon as they start turning to the side, you're like, whoa, that's the ass from robots. And they said, sir, we can never do something like that. And I said, no, of course, of course, of course. You can never do something like that. But what if?

And they fucking did it. Yeah, you're a very high-powered executive you're the coo of glossier they're gonna make anything happen i didn't have that much power so in a way this is a lesson for me that i can do anything i want that's not the takeaway that is not the takeaway i can do anything i want i can ask for anything i can have anything with no consequences or repercussions we haven't even put these out on the floor yet there might be repercussions cut to two weeks later everyone in class now the guy's just driving down melrose and you just see one of those lines around the block you've got to be fucking shitting me i gotta call yeah call. Yeah, what's up, Grant?

Hey, man, you used to work for Glossier, right? Yeah. Could you, I know that they sell skincare and makeup products. I cannot get you the uniform. Come on, man, I haven't asked you for anything in years. This is a huge ass.

It's a huge ass. Nice, nice. Nice. Nice. Oh, it crashes. Blinded by the ass. The robot ass from the movie Robots. Metal on a suit. That ass is made even fatter by the suit. That's really good. Ass is made even fatter by the suit? That was really good.

Passes made even fatter. Alright, should we do our last segment? Yes. This should be all we want. Daniel Ricciardo.

F1. F1. F1. McLaren placed fifth and sixth in the Aussie Grand Prix. Yeah. And I can't help it feel it was because of me. It wasn't. It had nothing to do with you. You weren't even into it until a couple weeks ago.

Not that that would have changed anything either way. Yeah. But. Well, you know, like, people watch, like, the World Series. Yes. And then they think that if they, like, cross their fingers. Yeah. Or if they don't breathe, you know.

Yeah. They'll, you know, get a Grand Slam or something. Yeah. The fact that I watched the Aussie Grand Prix is the reason why. Just the fact that you watched it. Because I didn't watch the first two of the season. Yeah. Right.

And didn't even get in the points. It wasn't because of you not watching. Really? Whatever. You can think it was. I won't have any harm to look back to me. I can know it was. Yeah. McLaren didn't even get in the points. It wasn't because of you not watching. Really? Whatever. You can think it was. I won't have any harm to look back at me. I can know it was. Okay.

No, at first you said, I can't help but think. I can't help but think, no. No, I'm really deep into it. It's a lot of fun. It's my new favorite sport. Love hockey. Love hockey. Yeah.

So that was also what I was going to say. But, um. Walking, after you being like, I'm over it. F1 is my new thing. You're wearing a hockey hat. I like hockey. It's just hard to keep up with because the games are at four on weekdays because they're on Eastern time usually. That's not easier to keep up with than like watching an F1 race at like one in the morning.

Okay. Okay. So we're sort of like riff in the morning. Okay. Okay. So we're sort of like riffing. And you work from home. You can. Really? Yeah. No, but they're on weekends though.

And I'd rather watch F1 than go to Zebulon. F1 at one. At one. It's at like 10. Okay. Oh, I saw Marika's story and I saw one. So that was easy. I was texting her and jake

and they were like that and then one of the ferrari cars their ferrari heads didn't finish they crashed and jake was like i'm going back to sleep but it was 10 it was 10 30 you know and danny was setting sector one times doesn't mean anything to me really yeah um no the performance is improving and i can't help but be part of that improvement what's shaking you could be anything it could be right and that's the issue and that's the issue it could be anything and i don't want to waste it oh small thing but in a way it's not i guarantee it's gonna be even smaller than I think. It's going to be about milk or some kind of dairy. A movie you watched.

Close. Easy. Last night. Oh, God. Anytime it happens at night, it's... Daniel, Elizabeth, Jaylee, and I. Okay. We're hanging out watching Survivor. We are a Wednesday night Survivor watch.

Because last night's episode was a two hour app. So then it wouldn't launch on Paramount Plus till like after 10. Yeah. Because it starts today. So we're like, what should we do until then? We went down a YouTube rabbit hole. And then I forget how, who brought it up first, how it came. Oh, because we were, Elizabeth's YouTube account is linked to our TV.

And so it's like we see her recent search history. Oh God. And it was like some cartoon theme song see her recent search history and it was like some cartoon theme song i'm forgetting which one it was but and it turned into how we spent the like half hour before watching it we were putting in requests of like play the doug theme song play the fairly odd parents theme song play the out of the box theme song taxes they're done but like there was one because all of those you know you know, we were like, oh, yes, we remember these. We remember these.

There was a show. It was like a recommended video. Of course, after watching a bunch of like Nick Jr. and Disney Channel theme songs, it was recommended. Was a show called The Doodle Bops. And now that didn't mean anything to me. But for some reason, Daniel was the one who was like, wait, I'm curious about it, clicked on it.

It's one of those, it unlocked something so fucking deep. And I don't even have a personal connection to the show. It was just wow that- But you remember it? Us four were having the same experience of all of us being like, whoa, like James.

So you had seen it. I had seen it, and I do remember bits and pieces. And it was something that I fully had. It was so far back that it was just really crazy to be all having the collective experience of being like, holy shit. I don't know when I watched this and I don't know why, but I did. Turns out you guys were all just being like Thomas Crown Affair, butterfly effect. Yeah.

But I also made, I went a little crazy last night. I got drunk off of one drink and it's because, and I have a very high tolerance and it's because I'm like, so when we do our weekly Survivor Watches, we do like a different cocktail every week. You got drunk?

I got like, not like drunk, but I got like pretty buzzed on the verge of like, if I have another drink, I'd be like pretty drunk because I'm like not like drunk but I got like pretty buzzed on the verge of like if I have another drink I'd be like pretty drunk because I'm like let's make frozen margaritas haven't made this in a long time let's make them with mango instead of ice very good but the frozen mango oh okay yeah yeah not just no so frozen mango instead of ice skin on the recipe I found, it was like three ounces for two drinks. And so I'm like, okay. Marty's staring at the studio. Hi, Marty. I put seven ounces of tequila in there. And it was way stronger than I thought it would be.

In just your drink? No, no, no. In like the blend. Because I was blending for Jay, Elizabeth, and myself. Okay, so seven divided by three. Which I thought it would. What even is that? Two ounces. That's like a shot. and myself okay so seven divided by three which I thought it would two ounces that's like a shot

and a bit of Cointreau I thought so too and I don't know what it was did you eat? but it ended up being yes it was really weird

that's weird maybe you got the lion's share sorry maybe you got the lion's share yeah maybe I got the lion's share of the taquique taquique do you drink me?

are you riding? say you'll never ever yep taquique. Taquique. Do you drink me? Are you riding? Say you'll never ever. Yep. Taquique. Daniel cut that out. No, keep taquique. So hive mind. This was a bust. Yeah. Hive mind. Hive mind shook me. Hive mind shook me for sure. Damn. Well, I'm not going to look it up because I don't want it to unlock anything in me. I like my mind being closed. I know. And that's the issue. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited for the concert tonight, though. You're not? I'm not going to be open to the music. Then why go? You love music. I love music.

No, I am excited. Should we thank some VI podcasts? Yes. Thank you to underscore Christian Sidehugs, Dogs and Cats 2. Aaron Carrico Feet Nolan Murphy. Agent Michael Scarn just realized that he can watch whatever TV show he wants. Whenever he wants. Free will is amazing.

Aggie. A coke kind of has a stomach ache. And she's being so fucking brave about it. Yeah, right. Y'all could learn a fucking thing or three from her. Alex Witt. America's sweetheart, Michael Douglas. And now patron, he needs no introduction, so moving on.

C.S. Lewis-Conson, Del's Kalahari Resort. Cam says not to cry for him, Argentina. The truth is, I've never left you. Chuck. Daddy Tuesday night, feet Nolan Murphy. Dakota Keber would like to thank Jeff for not pronouncing it Keeber. And feels anything... Sorry.

Sorry. Dakota Keber would like to thank Jeff for not pronouncing it Keeber. and feels anything... Sorry. Sorry. Dakota Kebber would like to thank Jeff for not pronouncing it Keeber and feels bad about putting him on blast, but it's pronounced... Got it. Damien Kirk is coming up on 30 and is thinking about trying the whole sex thing. Dylan...

Wait, what was it? Oh, Dylan, a Jersey boy in LA looking for love. Fancy octopus. Fartle featuring Nolan Murphy. boy in LA looking for love. Fancy Octopus. Fartle featuring Nolan Murphy. Frito-Pray Love. Garf, Enemy of the Pod. There are a lot of ways you can win. Gail Dent.

Jeff Puff. Gilk Jonic. Grey's about to get married. Ha ha, no, really, ha ha, that was a lie. Hallie the Horribly Awesome is Grey's twin. Hey, Jeff, could you please have anyone from Hey, Rural, Rural on the HeadGum podcast, please? I literally only subscribe to Force, Jeffrey, and Riley to say trans rights, XOXO. Jake Ullman.

James Wagner had a funny name, but fell down like 10 stairs while trying to write it. I hope you're happy, Jeff. Jay still can't reliably translate PT to GMT, but that's fine, I guess. Again, it is eight hours. Jesse Tipton. JP again, let me know the date you want for the Disneyland moment and I'll get you in there you widow babies that deserve it. Caleb is now 21 and is very ready to get

absolutely zoinked at the Zardy. Casper Bopasper. Lauren Millang. Lord Hunter the Ordained. Maggie feet Nolan Murphy. Malik. Mark Priest. Michael Beggle. Moe Pete do. So it's Moe Pete but second and also kind of French.

Mo Pete featuring Nolan Murphy. Nate Fortius thinks this has to be a Riley rename. Jeff can't be silly. Nolan Murphy is wondering what sport Jeff will be into next. I'm guessing cricket. That's a very good guess. Oh, so it's lame to advertise your business through your Patreon name. Come say that to my face at Smoking Time main island that's my favorite one pete bradford featuring nolan murphy bb

quok ricky martin sorry ricky martian so it's ricky martin but he's from well mars so what is this like a job now you're telling me i have to change my update my name more than once a year tell former resident s i said hi that's so raven it's the future i can well see the dulce no the dulce it hasn't been picking up okay of jeffrey sleep moans tj michael wait jeff real talk i need to take a break from these little piss ants and arm wrestle you i'm actually serious no way when i write a self-deprecating patreon name and you guys don't laugh at it, you're being assholes. Little Bobby Buell featuring Nolan Murphy. So shout out to y'all.

If you also want access to the Zardies, it's the main perk. And also exclusive merch. New merch coming soon, probably. Hell yeah. I had a dream, actually. About the merch? About the specific merch that we're going to be releasing. I can't wait.

And that was really the dream, was that we got it and be releasing I can't wait and that was really the dream was that we got it and we opened a box that's very exciting that's a lovely dream very attainable yeah patreon.com forward

slash Riley and Jeff and you can also follow Riley on Instagram at Riley and spot on Twitter at Riley coyote what yeah you know you know this this is

nothing you can follow Jeff on Instagram at Jeremy James and on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee. And the show on Instagram, Review Review, Twitter, Review Review Show, right at r slash Review Review. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode in studio. Woo. In person. Woo.

The first ever. Nope. Of Review Review. We'll catch you guys again next week. Arrivederci. Chee. That was a Hiddem Original.