REWILD + FREE - 38: (IG LIVE) CONSCIOUS MARKETING AND INTENTIONAL LIVING FOR MOTHER ENTREPRENEURS

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Let's explore WHAT conscious marketing is and why you want to be doing it in your heart led business. Plus how intentional / slow living fits in with conscious motherhood and aligned, authentic business creation. The Embodied Reset is a 4 week conscious marketing program for mother entrepreneurs ditching hustle! Inside, I teach you how to slow down, show up online authentically (and embodied) and create your business with intention while still making the impact and income you desire! Details and registration here

You're listening to Rewild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic mother entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance, while creating impact and legacy in their home and business. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasvir, your like-hearted mom friend and biz bestie wrapped in one. I'm an ex-nurse turned matrescence guide and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm, where thriving in motherhood is your birthright and so is a successful and sustainable online business keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood bro marketing and boss babe culture because in this space we use nature as our framework as we move

towards feminine embodied business development cyclical orientation and slow living together let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters. Okay friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. Hello, hello. I, um, oh wow, my hair is doing its own thing. That's cool cool I am about to record a podcast and I thought why don't I also go live actually it was the other way around I was like why don't I go live and I'm like why don't I also record it as a podcast in case some gold comes out of my mouth um so here I am I have my phone set up obviously that's why you can see me and then I also have my computer. I have GarageBand open and I am recording what I say.

So I also have my tea. My husband Dylan is home today. He was home yesterday as well. He has a couple of vacation days that he needs to use up before the end of the year. And we have no travel plans, unfortunately. So he's just been taking a couple of random days. And it's so nice to just have him home it's so nice to not be solo parenting um for like geez like what 14 15 hours straight every day um it's interesting I've been noticing every month or every cycle while I'm in my luteal phase which is now I think I'm on day 25 or day 26 in my

cycle I'm good all day like I don't have a ton of irritability I wouldn't even say like I'm PMSing um and that's that's really cool because I used to um so obviously obviously there's been some shifts and um yeah celebrating that but what I have noticed is basically around like eight or nine o'clock at night I become a different person um specifically in my luteal phase so last night was rough Aubrey still doesn't sleep I mean she does but like she likes to go to bed late and she likes to sleep in and we cannot for the life of us seem to switch that schedule and like shift it and that's totally okay I've kind of surrendered to that's just how it is and that's kind of her own her own cycle and so yeah anyways so she hasn't been going to bed till like 10 or 11 o'clock at night which means I don't have a ton of time to like wind down after she goes to bed

I'm basically just going to bed when she does um but the days towards the end of my cycle so like right now day 20 whatever it is um it is yeah it's interesting because like I said around eight or nine o'clock I I just become so irritable. Every little thing starts to drive me nuts. Her nails are kind of long, like we need to trim them today. So last night, like anytime she was just like touching me, it felt like little like kitty cat claws. And she always gets really like jumpy at nighttime. So she likes to crawl all over us and like jump on the bed and like just like roll around and do somersaults and stuff and that's totally fine like we encourage it but that involves like jumping on me and I just could not handle it I literally could not handle it she also

likes to basically play guitar with my nipples while she's breastfeeding and again like that's nothing new she's been doing that forever like the nipple twiddling it drives me nuts but in my luteal phase it literally like makes me see red like I literally am about to like burst out of my skin out of discomfort and it's weird because basically all day I can be totally fine and then once that eight o'clock nine o'clock hour hits it's like can't handle it um so yeah my night last night was interesting I literally had to like storm off and lock myself in the bathroom that is my first lock myself in the bathroom moment as a mother so I feel like that's like an initiation in itself um and I literally just like sat on the toilet I think I went pee

but I mean I didn't go in there to pee I was just sitting on the toilet and I literally just like sat on the toilet. I think I went pee, but I mean, I didn't go in there to pee. I was just sitting on the toilet and I was just like breathing and like telling myself like, Nicole, you are safe. Like nothing bad is going to happen to you. This is just a lot right now. And if it's feeling hard, it's because it is. I kind of just like walked myself through it and I allowed myself to just kind of land in my body and connected back to my breath. Really just, yeah, like came back to the present moment. And I swear it only took like maybe like five good breaths. I wasn't in there for probably longer than two minutes. And I was able to come out totally not calm, but like I had more patience um and my husband thankfully took Aubrey downstairs and they played for a little bit because obviously she was not ready for bed but I don't even know why I'm sharing this I'm just sharing the fact that I've noticed that irritability is way way worse in my luteal phase specifically the days right before I'm about to

get my bleed um And so yeah, last night was not fun. And I think the whole reason I brought this up is because my husband's home today on vacation. And so it's so, so good to have him home. Anyways, I wanted to really just like talk a little bit about, I guess the embodied reset, but more so like why I've created the embodied reset and why I think you might need it. And I think before I even get into that, I think it's important to kind of define the difference between marketing and selling. This has very, very much turned into a conscious marketing program. And it's funny because in the beginning, I don't think that was my intention, but that has, that's really what it's turned into because at the core of marketing, you need to understand

yourself. And so the embodied reset truly is an opportunity to dive deep into like self-exploration and really finding out what your strengths are um really getting clear on not just what your values are but actually like your priorities and how you're actually going to take action in alignment with those values and priorities because I think that's there's a big disconnect we can all say yeah like I value this this and this but we we say we're making these priorities but we don't actually act with the appropriate boundaries to make sure that those priorities are actually being prioritized

and then we we kind of walk away feeling either like guilt or shame or even like resentment towards whatever or whoever we didn't set the appropriate boundaries to, or we're just like fucking drained and walking away with a completely empty cup and not being able to show up as the mother or wife or friend, business owner, coach, whatever title you're holding on to, you're not able to hold that role in the capacity that you want to.

And again, that just perpetuates the shame, the judgment, the guilt. And you're just never feeling like you are showing up as your best self. You feel like you are kind of like giving B minus C plus work in like every aspect of life. Um, yeah, this is where the embodied reset comes in because it's an opportunity to just actually start to be connected to yourself and know exactly like what you need to fill your cup back up and not in like the fluffy, like self-care bubble bath and massage kind of way, but in the actual, like tangible everyday maintenance kind of stuff but in the actual like tangible everyday maintenance kind of stuff like the stuff that needs to become habitual and like daily rhythms and rituals um and then the cascade of

all of that actually shows up in your marketing because then you end up showing up online with this like energetic glow and this radiance and in your full essence and people are like magnetized to you people just want to be in your space people are like I really like this girl and I can't really tell you why um that's the goal with marketing and so marketing becomes less doing and more being and so the embodied reset is focused on your being um and so within the embodied reset we're going to be talking a lot about like the self-exploration piece but also um I don't love the word slow living because I feel like one it kind of sounds boring and two it sounds like something that's super duper impossible as a mom that's like juggling all the things I was actually

inspired by a new friend um that I started following she made a post about um kind of calling out the the just do less culture in motherhood and I actually really appreciated that and she made a good point that like if we continue to tell moms to just do less the problem with that is the stuff like the balls we're holding if we start dropping them the world could literally end like I know maybe not literally like but in terms of like our family unit our family structure um and like our businesses and everything else that we are holding and managing if we drop some balls there's actually really really big impacts from dropping those balls so the whole do less strategy implies like dropping balls or like half-assing some balls and that's not actually super supportive

when what we really need is more resourcing from like the ground up so that we have greater capacity to hold all those balls. And also back to like the prioritization and the boundaries piece of actually knowing which balls you are prioritizing and setting the appropriate boundaries to prioritize those priorities. Yeah, that part's important. So back to like slow living, as much as I love the idea and I love this, like just like the visions I have of like a very like slow and intentional lifestyle, I get that there's seasons of life where that just really isn't possible. And I think we're heading into one. I think the holidays and Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever it is you celebrate, is a really busy time of year, especially as a mom,

especially as the person in the household that likely is carrying a lot of the mental load in terms of writing Christmas cards or deciding different events and social gatherings that you're going to attend to and deciding not even deciding but like baking and making sure that you have all the right ingredients and Christmas shopping and all the things I mean I'm literally I can't even think of them right now but obviously there's a lot that happens this time of year on top of this like pull of like wanting to be really intentional and wanting to stand firm in like your values and your beliefs especially in the sense of how you're leading your family but the push and pull of like obligation to maybe

extended family and like traditions that your extended family has always done or maybe even like cultural and social expectations like maybe like Santa and like Elf on the Shelf whatever it is like there's a lot of things that I think are pulling at our mama hearts we're like we don't actually know if we want to do this but not doing it actually feels that much harder um that was kind of a tangent but I think it's important to name that like this time of year is extra busy and that busyness can have almost this negative ripple I guess in how we show up online because we end up almost going into like a freeze response our nervous system is like no there's too much going on we we literally just have to like shut down we are not showing up it's not safe um and that is super super valid that is

actually a really appropriate nervous system response but I think if we can kind of change the goal to be this um like bottom up resourcing like almost filling our cup I have this like visual of like filling your cup up from the bottom and that sounds so silly because I don't think that's actually possible but like if if some of our daily rhythms rituals are not fluffy but actual very real self-care and soul care is just always happening and there's this really really deep intentionality to it um and we're looking at it more of like maintenance instead of reacting or responding um I think it it really sets us up for some busier time of years and it also ensures that it's not changing the way we show up online.

And so circling all of this back to marketing and how this plays into marketing, I wanted to speak on like marketing versus selling and marketing being kind of like the building of relationship um and selling being like being in a committed relationship and this is this is actually taken from Simone Sowell follow her if you don't already because she is a marketing genius um but marketing being this relationship building process where it's almost like dating and so it starts with maybe this really like genuine interest and like flirtatious period um

let me pause for a second let me like rewind and actually center myself and figure out how I want to explain this. Okay, I do want to follow the dating analogy because it works. So marketing being, yeah, like first date, second date, third date, maybe even like six months worth of dating, maybe a year's worth of dating, depending on when a client actually decides to hire you versus selling being they've hired you. Now you're actually in this committed relationship where you have the, um, there's like that transaction, right? So they've likely paid you, but now you are committed and devoted to giving them something just like they are committed and devoted to compensating you in some way. So there's like that transaction and there's that and part of building trust and building connection is really showing up as your like full authentic self and this doesn't necessarily mean like airing your dirty laundry on the first date and we can kind of think of Instagram maybe as the first date and then maybe like email marketing or like other like forms of

long-form content like blogs and podcasts more as like second third date um so like when we're showing up on Instagram we're showing up in our stories and in our content it's really important that you aren't performing like you don't want to um again I want to be careful on the example I give but like if you were um I don't know like I it's funny because I've literally I've my husband and I started dating in grade nine and have basically been together ever since so like my dating game was never strong and I don't have a ton of experience in the dating world but I imagine that when you're dating and when you're kind of like looking for potential people to commit your life to. It's really important that you are showing up as your truest self. Hi Aubrey. Hi. Hi. I'm doing an Instagram live and recording a podcast all at

the same time because your mom is a badass rock star. Do you want to sit with me or do you want to go find dad? How about you bring this to Dad? Well, this is awkward because this is a live, so I can't pause it. Can you go bring this to Dad? Does Dad even know you're up here? You're not wearing any clothes, so I don't really want you on. Okay, take a pen. Go bring that to Dad. Go bring that to Dad.

Okay, bye. Go bring that to Dad. Go bring that to dad. Okay, bye. Go bring that to dad. Here, do you want to bring this to dad too? No. Yeah, go bring this to dad. Bye. Yeah, so dating. Marketing.

Marketing like dating um you wouldn't like show up to your first date completely like dressed and acting as someone that you're not just to try to impress the person that you were going on a date with I mean and maybe you would but you probably shouldn't um I don't think that's how you actually like form long-term relationships um and you also wouldn't try to like get them to propose to you or even like get them in bed with you the first night again maybe you would I mean maybe the connection the sparks the chemistry is there but usually it takes some time and so when we're looking at like the marketing versus selling analogy it's the same thing like marketing is very different than selling they are two separate things, it's the same thing. Like marketing is very different than selling. They are two separate things. And it's important that we aren't rushing the marketing process.

And it's really important that we are nurturing the marketing process. And we can only do that if we are actually nurturing ourselves. And we can only do that if we actually know ourselves and we are able to express ourselves and embody ourselves. Hence the embodied reset. Because I think for many, including myself, it is so, so easy to start showing up just kind of on autopilot and making actions based off of like obligation and all the shoulds of like, oh, well, I should post consistently, or I should make, I should show up in stories today, or I should be writing an email, or even worse, like kind of outsourcing your strategy and your results to external people, people that you likely trust and look up to, but those people's strategies might not actually fit in with one your season of life and to your nervous system's capacity so all of that stuff

really needs to be looked at and there's a lot of nuance when we're talking about how to consciously market and show up in an embodied way I feel like I just went in a ton of different directions and I think as soon as I go on Instagram live this always happens. Oops. Hello to everyone that's here. Kim you said she sure is. I don't know what you're referring to. Maybe Aubrey. Oh maybe Simone. That might have been from when I commented on Simone's soul um okay what else do I want to share here so marketing versus selling I think the gist of it is just the importance of kind of slowing down the marketing process not even like slowing it down in the sense of literal

time but slowing it down in the sense of removing the pressure and removing the expectation and attachment to outcomes. So again if we look back at our dating analogy when you're going on like a first and second third date with someone maybe you are starting to meet their friends and their family obviously there might be that like desire and that hope and that wish that this relationship works out but that commitment isn't yet there you're still building trust you're still building that connection and forming that intimacy and so I think marketing is no different where we can't necessarily have the expectation that we're for sure going to get married, that we're for sure going to get to jump in bed with this person, and like third base, home run, whatever it is in the baseball analogy. We need to take it slow, and we need to like, it's like this beautiful dance

between two people, right? It's not just you calling the shots, and I think that's another piece that's kind of missing in the marketing world is putting a ton of pressure on ourself to um I mean we do kind of need to take the lead and we need to be bold and we need to speak our truth and like clear is kind so being as clear as possible with um what you're available for in terms of like hey this is this is what my offers are um this is what I have that might help you this is how I can contribute to our relationship um but it's also cultivating that space that safe space for genuine connection, which includes like communication and conversation and community building. And again, not having that expectation or attachment to outcome that there is going to be a transactional commitment, a sale at the end of it, even though

like, yes, sales are the goal. I don don't want to I don't want to dismiss that like obviously selling is the goal but I think if the marketing is done consciously and in an embodied way in an authentic way in a in a way that is in integrity to your values of literally life but also just like your brand and your business then the sales start happening very organically um and they start happening with the right people I think that's another thing that ends up happening is when the marketing is very forced and very like ego driven instead of heart led. That's when the sales become incongruent and like out of alignment, and you start ending up potentially working with people that aren't actually your ideal client, you start kind of getting stuck in this like scarcity mode

of like, well, anybody is better than nobody. And you start kind of, maybe you have like a group program, for example, and you start filling it with people that weren't actually your right people, but you wanted the numbers. Or this might also look like undervaluing your services. So maybe lowering the cost of something, or maybe from the start, setting a low cost out of fear of people not joining or out of, this is a big one, feeling like you need to be accessible to everyone. Could you imagine if when you were dating you, I can't even think of an example, but if you did something because you were trying to just like be able to be proposed to by the most amount of people like that wouldn't actually work you only want to be in a long-term relationship with your person with someone that you feel safe around with someone that you are connected to um anyways that analogy probably got a little bit carried away

I hope I'm making sense um it's so funny going live is always so distracting for me um there's just a lot on the Instagram screen and then of course like as people are chatting which I love I love to see you guys here um it's just so different than if I was just recording a podcast and I'm like I said I have garage band open right now I can see that we're already at like 25 minutes and I don't even know if I've talked about anything important so thank you for listening this far I think my main message here is really just honing in on the importance of that conscious marketing piece and that conscious marketing piece stems from being able to show up in an embodied way and being able to show up in an embodied way stems from being able to be authentic with your true self but you can't show up as your true self if you don't know your true self so it all kind of circles back to the self-exploration piece

and really really really getting super clear on just what makes you tick. And so, like I said, that's partially looking at like values and priorities and boundaries in terms of filling your cup up. But it's also starting to get clear on like what your desires are, what your vision is, where you're actually trying to go, what kind of business you're actually trying to build, what you have like the capacity and the availability for not just in terms of availability on your calendar but like in this season of your life so like for example like even though I could make space on my calendar to potentially have clients every single day this season of my life doesn't actually support that and that wouldn't actually make me happy because in this season of my life, being a mom and getting to stay home with Aubrey all day is my priority. And that is

actually part of what fills my cup up to a certain degree when I'm not in my luteal phase. What else do I want to say on that? I guess like where the embodied reset ties into all of this which by the way pre-sales ending today so if you are kind of on the fence if you've been thinking about joining um if you like to save money and if you want a one-on-one call with me today is the day to sign up if you're not quite sure yet you need some more time to think or you have some questions for me um by all means take whatever time you need I will be opening registration up or extending registration or keeping registration open I don't know what the right way to say that is until probably January 2nd um but the price does go up starting tomorrow so just keep that in mind um

but yeah where the embodied reset ties into all of this is we are going on this massive deep dive, this massive like self-exploration and starting to really hone in on our strengths and our desires and building our business from those things, but also in alignment with what our values are in terms of like life and family and making sure business fits into that, not the other way around. And also like tying in motherhood and the big shifts around identity and self-worth and just like that constant, what's the word I'm looking for? Like the push and pull, like the duality and the big extremes within motherhood, like how to actually harness some of that and allow it to actually be an asset in our business. And then one of the biggest things that I haven't even talked about yet,

that's part of the embodied reset is really starting to pull in um cyclical orientation and cyclical living into our business creation and into our marketing um that was another piece about conscious marketing that I didn't touch on is this like cyclical nature of it um and really just like deconstructing the more mainstream marketing the bro markety boss baby vibes of constantly being on um and really that is like a symptom of the patriarchy in my opinion so it's kind of dismantling some of that and starting to just kind of be showing up online in in line with our body's natural rhythms but also like the cycle of creation um and understanding that like the way creation moves through each of us is slightly different um and getting clear on what that actually looks like so I have literally like a 28 page journal created to start just noticing

the patterns that are happening in terms of how creation moves through you and again being able to use that almost as data because I'm a big believer of becoming a lifelong student to your own inner world so using some of that as data in terms of how you show up in your business and in your marketing and in terms of building that relationship with future clients before you can make the sale so yeah I think that's it um my tea's probably getting cold because I forgot to drink it and now we're at like 29 minutes. Thank you all for being here. I will, I don't know. I will talk to you guys again.

Have a lovely day. Okay, before you go, I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode. If you were thinking of anyone while listening, please send it their way. And if anything resonated with you or you love these conversations please subscribe and leave a review this really helps the podcast algorithms put my show in front of more people just like you and the last thing I would love nothing more than hearing from you so say hi dm me on instagram and give me a follow at nicolepasvir until next time So say hi, DM me on Instagram, and give me a follow at NicolePasvir.

Until next time.