REWILD + FREE - 41. MY HOT TAKE ON THRIVING

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

A cute little 'minisode' offering a reframe on what it means to be thriving. If we look to nature as a reflection of our own life, motherhood, and business... it can show us that surviving storms and moving through the death and rebirth of winter to spring are indicators of growth and flourishing(Thrive by definition, means "to grow and flourish")So is it possible that even when you aren't in a season of outward growth (aka the full bloom of summer), you are still growing. You are still thriving! Thrive on my friend! As always, let me know how this one lands for you Connect with me on IG (@nicolepasveer)..Want to thrive alongside a tribe of badass women? Doors are open to my new membership community, HELD A playground for conscious + creative female entrepreneurs desiring a landing place for integration, embodiment, self exploration, soul work, AND regenerative business strategy.>> Details to jump in are here

You're listening to Rewild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic mother entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance, while creating impact and legacy in their home and business. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasvir, your like-hearted mom friend and biz bestie wrapped in one. I'm an ex-nurse turned matrescence guide and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm, where thriving in motherhood is your birthright and so is a successful and sustainable online business keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood bro marketing and boss babe culture because in this space we use nature as our framework as we move

towards feminine embodied business development cyclical orientation and slow living together let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters. Okay friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. I'm literally sitting on my couch. I have Aubrey asleep beside me. I can hear the furnace because it's literally minus a billion outside or if it's not it's going to be by tomorrow and there's like the water trickling of my fish tank that's in this room. I don't know if you can hear that and the dogs are probably going to drink their water behind me and do who knows what else.

So I realize this probably isn't the best audio quality, but I don't care. I need to get over the imperfections because if I allowed myself to care, these recordings would never be made and this podcast would not exist. So here we are. At least I'm not in the bathtub this time. I really wanted to jump on and I guess just start a conversation around thriving. I feel like the word thriving is becoming kind of a buzzword, whether it's related to business or motherhood or in contrast to being stuck in survival mode. I'm hearing this a lot and I use the word a lot. I think I use it in the intro to this podcast. I know I use it in my website copy. Thriving in all of those things, life, business, motherhood, really is the mission I'm here to help women get to. And I want to, I guess, just reframe what thriving means, because I feel like

thriving as it's being thrown around on the internet is like rainbows and lollipops and sunshine all the time. And in the context of like nervous system regulation, it's this really false distorted idea of being calm all the time. And in my mind, that's not what thriving is in fact thriving is feeling it all and allowing yourself and holding compassion for yourself and acceptance as you move through all the seasons of life and motherhood and business and as you know I align a lot of my work to nature. I allow nature to be a mirror and a reflection of my own inner world and my own business and my own seasons of mothering. nature, plants, whatever else out in nature, are thriving, even though they have these beautiful seasons of death and rebirth, right? They have a season of fall where the trees lose their leaves, and then there's the season of winter where literally everything is dead, and there is no growth. And I think it's just a beautiful reminder that you can still

thrive even though it doesn't feel like the current season you're in is a season of growth I think the other piece to this is around society's obsession with everyone being in a perpetual season of like spring and summer and even looking at collectively how we view womanhood and our menstrual cycle and how for many of us we grew up thinking that it was something to dread and something to pretend wasn't there. And that's winter. That's our inner winter season. And so for many, we've held on to this belief that winter isn't safe and that winter needs to be dreadful and be something that we rush through.

And if you've been in my space for a while, I talk about the seasons quite often, but I haven't really related it back to this word thrive and I think the dictionary definition of thrive is simply to grow and flourish so I guess what I'm trying to make clear is that to grow and flourish you also need seasons of not growing you need seasons of recharge and renewal and hibernation and hermiting and focusing on like the below ground work nurturing the soil making sure that your soil is as fertile as possible because you know that spring is coming. Spring always comes after winter and this is why mirroring your life to the seasons can be so beautiful because, oh the dogs are playing so who knows what you're going to hear in the background, but mirroring your life to the seasons of nature is so beautiful because it can help orient you to kind of the turbulences and

discomfort that you might experiencing knowing that it's just temporary it can also help you prepare and brace for the season to come and kind of just add to this like prepared feeling and that helps you have a sense of control and I think we're all just running around trying to maintain some sort of sense of control. Where this comes in the context of the nervous system is just like feeling it all and not not labeling feelings and emotions as good or bad and having this really just definitive like black and white thinking I think that can be quite

dangerous recognizing that there is duality and there's loads of nuance and there's also again coming back to the nervous system and thinking about like the survival responses of like fight flight freeze fawn fit in like those aren't bad and it can be really easy if you've been working on nervous system regulation to start labeling those things as bad because we think we want to come out of those states. And we do like we don't want to be stuck in those states. But the thing is, is those states, those responses to fight or flight or fit in and fawn are there to serve as protection and like a defense mechanism and they're there to keep us safe and so

they're not bad they're not bad at all so again thriving is when those survival responses happen in in response to certain experiences that obviously our nervous system is perceiving as a threat but it's not bad it's actually really really good and it means you're human and it means your nervous system is responding appropriately you don't want to just be like completely like flatlined all the time you want to be responding appropriately to the the external environment that you're in or the external experience that you're feeling i think what gets tricky is for many our nervous systems are kind of like at a baseline of being activated and so like the threshold for being able to withstand some of these things that would be perceived as threats it's kind of the alarm signals are already ringing and so every little thing can really set us off and motherhood specifically is like really overstimulating

there's a lot of overwhelm and so that window of tolerance can sometimes already be quite small. And bringing it back to thriving, it can be really, really easy to start shaming and judging ourselves if we're constantly feeling like we're in this state of dysregulation. Because we've held on to these labels as, I need to be calm and regulated in order to be thriving. I need to be out of survival mode in order to be thriving. And again, I want to bring this back to nature. And like, I would argue that a, let's just look at trees, for example, a tree that is thriving and growing and flourishing, it doesn't just like do nothing and like flatline when a storm comes. It like does what it needs to do to survive that storm. So I think as humans, like we need to give ourselves some grace and also a giant pat on the back when our nervous systems are helping us survive the storm. I think that's all I have to say. This one is short and sweet.

I just really wanted to share my thoughts on thriving and I guess offer this reframe and trust that it will serve you in whatever season you're in and even if you feel like you aren't thriving maybe this gives you an opportunity to see that you actually are. Okay before you go I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode if you were thinking of anyone while listening please send it their way and if anything resonated with you or you love these conversations please subscribe and leave a review this really helps the podcast algorithms put my show in front of more people just like you. And the last thing, I would love nothing more than hearing from you. So say hi, DM me on Instagram and give me a follow

at NicolePasvir. Until next time.