REWILD + FREE - Cultivating Self Trust and Paving Your Own Path in Motherhood and Entrepreneurship, with Gerry Tait (@gerrybirthcoach)

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

In this episode, I'm joined by Gerry Tait who shares her own pregnancy and motherhood experience as well as her business birth story. She discusses how each have given her an opportunity to carve her own path in order to live life in alignment with her values and in support of her nervous system! Gerry and I also discuss: Why we believe there should be more of an emphasis son personal development and self-discovery during the prenatal and postnatal period. Parenting starts in pregnancy. The importance of self-compassion and deepening self-worth during this transformative timeThe connection between creating a successful business and being an authentic mother in tune with intuition and valuesHow to work with your menstrual cycle,  and allowing your children to witness as a way of social changeMaking a conscious effort to prioritize self-care during the cycle and its benefits in all aspects of lifeRedefining success and consistency in motherhood and entrepreneurship Meet this weeks guest: Gerry is a Childbirth Educator & Coach as well as a parent to two kids and a dog. She loves birth, but *really* cares about the people doing it. Her goal is to provide the education, strategy, and mindset support you need to birth, parent, and live like the badass you are.Gerry offers 1:1 childbirth education and support, and will hopefully in the somewhat near future be offering an online birth preparation course. You can find out more about Gerry and her services here: www.gerrytait.com and download your free Preparing for the Fourth Trimester Workbook here: www.gerrytait.com/fourthtrimesterworkbookConnect with Gerry on IG (@gerrybirthcoach)Connect with Nicole on IG (@nicolepasveer)Want to be a guest on the podcast?  Fill out this formIf this show has inspired, transformed or made your life a tinyyy bit better in anyway and you’ve been searching for a way to say thank you, and support me in producing more episodes, you can now buy me a donut 🍩  (see link below)Support the showConnect with Nicole on IG (@nicolepasveer) Want to be a guest on the podcast? Fill out this form

trusting yourself and trusting, I guess, our inner cycles. And that is something I was, you know, I think none of us were really raised with, right? It's always like, you don't trust your body, you don't trust how hungry you are, what you feel like eating, or when you feel like resting when you don't, right? It's this real relearning of how my body and my brain works, and that that will work out okay. Welcome to the Not Just a Mom Show, where we have open and honest conversations about the vulnerabilities and the victories within entrepreneurship and new motherhood. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pazier and I'm going to be your host. Here on the show,

we don't subscribe to perfection. In fact, being present is the new perfect and showing up messy is the new norm. We are worthy, just as we are, as all that we are. Not just the label we put on ourselves. We are more than just a mom and I'm so glad you're here. This week, I'm joined by Jerry Tate Jerry is a fellow mom and fellow Canadian and it's really cool because we have really similar stories in the sense of I guess like our business trajectory and the direction we started going and then pivoted into and just kind of our mindset and viewpoints of, um, how to run a sustainable business and offer creation and weaving in like the menstrual cycle and nervous system regulation. So this conversation was super cool because it was just

constantly like back and forth of, um jerry sharing things that literally could have been words taken right out of my mouth um if you are interested in following jerry she can be found at jerry birth coach on instagram another similarity between jerry and i is she wrote this in her bio when she sent it to me is Jerry loves birth, but really cares about the people doing it. And I can't relate to that more. I think about that often how I think a lot of people get into birth work and do laying because they obviously love birth, but, um, I think they have like a special place in their heart for mothers and babies and just that season of a family's life and for me I've always felt it a bit deeper than that I've felt it in the sense of the mother's personal development and physical

emotional and spiritual health and just viewing birth and pregnancy and the whole prenatal and postnatal period as this opportunity for massive, massive self-discovery and just starting to practice and integrate strategies for self-compassion and deepening your self-worth. And it was just really cool because this whole conversation with Jerry, we were able to weave back and forth between preparing for the prenatal and postpartum period, but also how to create like a successful and sustainable business. And then also how to show up as an authentic mother who is really in tune with her intuition and her values and regulating her nervous system, all the things. And so it was just really cool. Again, Jerry's goal is to provide education, strategy, and mindset support you need to birth, parent, and live like the badass you are.

And this conversation really does just surround all of that. So I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed having the conversation hey Jerry it's so nice to have you on the podcast this morning this is the first time you and I have actually like had an interaction outside of Instagram outside of like yeah yeah yeah it's really nice but also feels like very simple very easy and um normal so that's funny that way somehow like siri just started talking to me did you hear any of that this is like how we roll that's hilarious so like i was talking but i think my lap i must have pressed the button that like tells siri to start listening so i was just having a conversation with siri and she was not

responding back anyways let's start that over. We've tried to insert herself in everything. Seriously. I don't even know what I did. That's hilarious. I'm like, why isn't Jerry responding? Am I on mute? What's going on? Anyways. Hey, Jerry, let's try this again. It's so nice to have you on the podcast this morning. I was just saying to Siri that this is the first time you and I have actually had a chance to like speak like face to face as opposed to just DMing on Instagram. So this is really cool. I'm really excited to just get into your story and kind of what has gotten you to where you are today. So if you want to give a quick introduction of who you are, we can start there and then we'll just get into it. Cool. Yeah. So my name is Jerry and thanks for having me, Nicole.

This is really nice. And even though it is the first time we're chatting, it feels very normal. So I appreciate that. Agreed. I'm a mom of two boys. They're almost eight and five and a half, which is bananas. I live in Ontario and I work as a childbirth educator and coach, which is kind of a newer form of birth work for me. I spent about three years as a birth and postpartum doula and then decided to transition into something where I felt like I could make a bit more of an impact prenatally without attending births. So that's been pretty cool so far. And I've kind of, you know, traversed through different careers in order to get here. But looking back, they kind of have breadcrumbs that lead this way. So, yeah, I guess I consider myself a bit of a multi-passionate person in that way.

Hearing you say that, like, you just wanted to get into, I actually forget how you worded it, but basically having more influence, like, prenatally and having people actually prepare for birth. Did that come from some, for lack of a better word, negative experiences in like the birth space and kind of just getting sick and tired and frustrated of seeing it. So wanting to have an impact and like, hey, how can we actually stop this from happening? Or where did that pivot kind of come from? Yeah, that's exactly where it came from. From, I think when I started working as a doula, I thought this is so cool to be with people during that actual event, right, that transformational time of giving birth. And it was and like, I loved the impact that I could have. And I loved the relationships that

I built with my clients. However, doing it for a few years, I realized a trend where people were almost like relying on the advocacy of me as their doula in the moment, and not necessarily doing that inner work and preparing themselves. And like, don't get me wrong, I have and will continue to stand up for clients in the moment. However, it's so much more impactful for the birthing person if they get there themselves, you know, and I had a lot of people that were like, I am worried that I won't be able to advocate for myself. I don't think my partner will be able to so I really want someone there. And like, I get it, especially if there's like language barriers or culture, you know, differences, like totally.

But a lot of the cases, it was just kind of like, this isn't my job. This is someone else's job. And I think that they went into their births not being as prepared as they could mentally and emotionally. And I saw the impacts of that. And I witnessed the trauma that occurred from that and it took a while to be like how much of this is my responsibility like I you know obviously I have a responsibility to my client to give them all the information they need and the support that they that they need and that is useful to them but at the same time it's their bodies it's their births um and so I thought how can I make more of a difference and how can I change

my messaging so that people like think beyond the comfort measures and the positions and more into like who am I what does this mean to me what do I really care about and how can I communicate that in the moment I love that one like you said it's like the inner work and you can't do that for someone. You can be there for them and you can kind of direct some of that robust conversation that needs to happen for them to kind of sort out the answers within themselves. And I think it's really cool just to hear your own self-awareness through that entire process of deciding to kind of step down from like in-person birth. I guess I don't I guess that's the distinction, right? You're no longer in person supporting the birth.

Instead, it's all prenatal support. So it's really cool just hearing your self-awareness as you say some of that out loud and I just know that so many doulas can get caught up in this like saviorship mentality where they do just want to save the day and they almost end up putting themselves on a pedestal of like well you should have a doula because I'm going to be your bodyguard and I'm going to make sure not make sure but I'm going to be a layer in between kind of the the birthing person and the medical system so that bad things hopefully don't happen to you. And it's like, if we are coming at birth with that mentality, that's not supportive to that family whatsoever. And it doesn't set them up for success

postpartum, for parenthood, for any of that. And so I think it's really cool hearing that you were able to I guess like distinct like just just see some distinction there and instead step down and be like no I think I can actually make a more positive impact if we're if we're having these conversations beforehand so that's really cool yeah I'm curious where all of this fits in in your own motherhood journey you said you've been doing kind of the more childbirth education coaching for about three-ish years how long were you dueling before that so I was dueling for about three years and then the switch to more of education and coaching support has just been this year so like okay okay months gotcha Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. Cool. So you are like really in the midst of

changing your brand and getting more clear on your messaging and you're in the thick of that right now. That's really cool. Yes. Thick. Definitely the messy. I don't even know if it's the messy middle, the messy beginning, maybe. I don't know. And it's weird because I feel, you know, I've been been in I've been in birth work for years but this feels very new and I think part of it is because I'm trying to target different people or maybe a more specific set of people because there's definitely a resistance out there to preparing for birth and thinking about that totally is. business template that you can just like follow versus I kind of feel like just traditional doula and traditional supporting birth kind of is because there's so many successful doulas out

there. There's so many doula programs that are like teaching you, okay, this is what you do. This is how you get clients. So many people know what a doula is and what to expect. And it's becoming more and more normal. So in terms of creating the business, that's also becoming more and more, I don't know. I the business, that's also becoming more and more, I don't know, I don't want to call it easy because it's certainly not easy, but there's kind of some templates and some strategies to follow versus what you're doing now. You're kind of like creating this from a gap that you've been seeing within the industry and you're like creating it from nothing. And that is so cool. And I think you're right.

This probably is still just the messy beginning, but how cool is it to think of like where this is going to go and how big this can get and the impact you're going to have on people. And then the second piece that I was thinking when you said like so many people are really not in the headspace of wanting to prepare for birth, like that is thanks you thanks to like

patriarchy and society and just like absolutely zero space for like bodily autonomy and um like personal development all of that like within pregnancy and instead it's just like hey here follow all these steps you basically put on this conveyor belt and then you're like sent down sent down the conveyor belt and put through all the hoops and it's just this very like status quo rinse and repeat cycle and it's almost like we're pumping out robots at the end of it and unfortunately all these robots are coming out with birth trauma as we know and we don't know why because we've kind of seen the back end of it but it's no wonder that it has been a big difference for you in terms of how do you actually find your ideal client because your ideal

client is not likely like the masses anymore totally that's yeah that's really true and I don't know it's really validating for me to hear that you like you instantly get it, like you instantly get what I want to do. And you see the value. Yeah, I do. I absolutely do. But I think it's also because like, I feel like I was kind of headed in your direction. I don't even remember. I don't even know how much we know about each other. I don't even remember how like, well, I've listened to you on one podcast. So I think I might know more about your story. probably probably so I think I shared on Kylie's podcast how I how I thought I was going down the doula path but I knew I didn't want to offer in-person support that was mostly because of just the stage of motherhood I'm in right now

and like being on call with a newborn now toddler just was not in the cards for me no but I think even as I was kind of getting educated and sort of starting to understand what the role of a good doula is, it became very clear to me that like, I don't need to be at the birth to have that impact. So it's exactly what you're saying, like that impact can happen before and dare I say should happen before. And so then I was kind of going down the childbirth educator route. And I spent months, I think, should happen before. And so then I was kind of going down the childbirth educator route. And I spent months, I think, trying to put myself in that box and it never feeling quite right. And I mean, I'm still kind of coming out of that and kind of weaving into my own

box. And I don't really know what that is yet. I still have a really hard time identifying who I am or telling someone like what I do. I feel like I'm just like a doula for like all stages of motherhood, not just birth. Birth is just like one teeny tiny day of it all, right? And it's like the things you mentioned, like there's so much advocacy and inner work that needs to happen before

that's actually gonna set you up for postpartum and motherhood. So it's,'s yeah I don't know it's really cool it's cool to have this conversation because we're totally on the same page I know it really it really resonates with me because I feel I I'm like too obsessive about what I should call myself and what my sort of like one-liner message to like get it across and I was talking to someone about this the other day and they were like this is stifling your creativity like totally because I love I love talking about motherhood and parenting and identity and like all that stuff and it's like really is it's all on the same spectrum like you

are basically parenting from the time that you are pregnant and choosing to have that baby, right? I mean, probably even if not. You're learning about advocacy, you're making decisions for your baby, like it's an it all has an impact. I know personally, it has an impact on the way your parenthood journey can go. And like, what it means to be a mother and how you show up as that mother. And, you know, like it's not a discrete event. And I think that was part of the doula life that didn't jive with me. It was like, okay, here's your two prenatal visits and then your birth support. And then it's over, but it's like, it's, it barely just began and it hasn't ended. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool.

Um, I literally have like goosebumps the whole time you were talking about all that because it really just paints the picture of the bigness of it. And like, I'm just thinking, like, imagine if every woman, as they get pregnant, every, every couple partner, everyone in like the family unit of that pregnant person if everyone could hold space and um just like see the I don't I can't even find my words because it feels so big that like it's not even part of our language because we don't talk about it like if you could actually like feel into the bigness of what it means to actually be pregnant and like what that means in terms of everything that's going to happen within you in terms of actually be pregnant and like what that means in terms of everything that's going to happen within you in terms of like your confidence and like your level of adequacy and

your identity of yourself and your self-worth and your nervous system regulation and your body image like literally everything right it all we know this we know as you become a mother like all of those things change but why aren't we talking about it in pregnancy why is it just a slap in the face for literally every single woman after they have this baby and after they like get all the check marks at their six or 12 week postpartum visit or after they're done with their postpartum support from their doula and now they're on their own I'm pretty sure almost every single woman has this moment of, oh my God, what am I doing? Who am I to be doing this? Like, I don't feel adequate and I don't know if there's gotta be right. Well, all of that, all of those like very philosophical questions. And I feel like, I don't know, like it definitely, in my own experience, like it literally felt like the ground beneath me was crumbling. It wasn't so much that like I felt myself crumbling. It was

almost just like everything I knew to be true, I was now challenging and really putting more thought into and all of my actions became like a thousand times more intentional and like I agree with what you said like really that parenting that aspect of parenting starts in pregnancy um I would love to hear kind of before we actually get into more of this I guess maybe a bit of your own birth and pregnancy and postpartum experience and maybe I'm curious if that led you in to do the work to begin with or like just I'm trying to make all the connections so fill me in yeah it totally did so before like in my previous life I was a registered massage therapist for almost 10 years and in that that's when was my first introduction

to birth support because like it's within the scope of an RMT so I did like a continuing education course like a weekend course on birth support and I was like mind blown like sitting in that classroom I can still probably picture myself sitting there just being like this is so cool like how amazing so I my first thought was I'm gonna include this in my massage practice right and then a few short months later I got pregnant with my first and um I got hyperemesis gravidarum which if anyone doesn't know it's like nausea and vomiting pregnancy on steroids it's horrific and horrendous and I had no idea what this was. I did not, you know, I was not aware of it going in. So I was like, okay, I have morning sickness. Like this is normal. People do this all the time. Get out of the bed, go to work, like do the things

what's wrong with you. But meanwhile, I was barely eating, barely drinking, vomiting multiple times a day, 10 out of 10 nausea, 24 hours a day. Like it was awful. And my midwife who I had was, was great, but I think she hadn't seen someone with my level of HG before. And so she was giving me some tips that I think would be good for someone with morning sickness or even more severe morning sickness, But it just wasn't, it just wasn't doing anything for me. And so it took, unfortunately, a long time for me to get the care that I really needed. I ended up being admitted to hospital, I needed IV fluids, IV medication. And that was when like, you know, I really started on an aggressive research path. I love to research things. I went and learned all the things about HD because I was like okay this is what it is there are medications that are effective for this um

and so and that also required a lot of advocacy on my part because at the time so this was eight eight plus years ago um I mean you you know you're a nurse, like all the sort of stuff around Zofran and the conflicting views on its safety. And so this was right at the heart of that. And I felt like I was making a decision between my health and my baby's health because there was so much out there that this drug was going to create health problems for my baby. And I was kind of at the point where I was okay, well, I feel like I'm going to die if I don't take this drug. That's not going to help either of us. So, you know, and I found lots of stories about people that had it, took the drug, it went fine. I found research that, you know, showed that the fear mongering this weren't true. Right. That the research around that was biased and terrible.

So I was like, I felt OK, my decision, but I felt like I was doing it against the grain. Everyone else was like, have you tried ginger? If you have a few crackers beside your bed when you wake up and I was like, you don't understand. So, um, anyway, I got the medication, you know, I was then able to keep down small amounts of food and liquid. Like I was okay. It wasn't great, but it was okay. Um, I ended up developing preeclampsia at 35 weeks. And so we started an induction at 35 and three. And, you know, I just didn't, I just didn't know, my husband and I still talk about this, how much we didn't understand and how much we weren't told. And so the induction took probably about three days to get going. And, you know, he was a small baby. I was on magnesium sulfate. It was a very high intervention induction that was almost about to end in a C-section. Like, and the last second I felt something like I felt him coming out my vaginal canal. And I said to my OB and she said, okay, let's push.

And I don't know how she did it. You know, there were forceps involved, but she got him out. But, you know, he was then in the NICU. We had no idea what was going on. My husband just was rushed in at the last minute. He was being prepped for the section. He ended up, my son ended up developing necrotizing enterocolitis, which is a really dangerous bowel condition. We got transferred to a larger hospital. You know, I mean, there's just, it felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong. And through it all, no one was telling us what

was going on. No one was telling us that, um, how he was, how, you know, what we could do, how we could better support him, how, you know, how this happened, right? We just felt so helpless and so out of control and it was terrifying um I mean there's a happy ending in that like he recovered well um we had to fight real hard to get breastfeeding going because we were separated so much and because of all the drugs I was on during my labor it really delayed um you know milk supply and the separation stuff. So had a great lactation consultant, and that helped get things going. But it was really, really hard. He was very small. I was exhausted. I was sick. I'm coming off HG for months, right? So that entire thing was physically and emotionally traumatic, I would say. And I think we were both just left like, what the fuck just happened? Like, so that took months to really like process and figure out all the things that had happened and like getting the information piecemeal from like providers and whatnot. Um, and I didn't know if I would be able to go through it again. My husband really wanted another baby. And, um, we, when, once we kind of like,

I allowed him to have a conversation about it, I was like, okay, after this conversation, I'll say like, let's not try, but not, not try. And I got pregnant that first cycle so we went through it again but that was different yeah yeah I knew what meds I needed right away you know I got sick again and I was taking care of a toddler but it was better because I knew um the birth was a bit better I had a doula I had informed myself up the wazoo so I I was able to advocate. We still had some health problems postpartum with both of us, but just a different, we were all in a different space. Same with my husband. He was much, much more able to be present and to think on the spot and to ask the questions. And so I think all of this stuff, I mean, my start to motherhood was very rocky because of this.

And it just felt like we weren't in the real world. Everyone else was, it was at the time lots of other friends were having babies and they were all taking their bumps on hikes, right? And posting all these cute pictures on Instagram of their pregnancy and their postpartum and their newborn photos and stuff. And I couldn't relate to any of that. I couldn't see myself in it. And it just felt really sad. And, you know, my kids didn't sleep. I think probably would only sleep on my body for the first year of their lives.

And no one gets that. No one understands. They think, oh yeah, have you tried putting them down drowsy, but awake, you know, all this stuff. So I think from the very outset, it just felt like my path is very different from everything that's out there. And I need to sort of figure this out for myself and create my own path because I can't follow anyone else's because it doesn't relate. And that is both liberating and exhausting. my eldest son who's neurodivergent I learned a lot about the nervous system and um how to support him best which then of course makes me have to figure out my own nervous system because you can't help regulate a child when you're just um so it's just it was it's been you know, eight years of aggressive learning and self-development. And it's very humbling and

lonely at times to have to parent in a way that you don't really see. That was long, wasn't it? Yeah, no, that was awesome though. And I was like, do I chime in here? No, I'm just going to let her finish because it's all just flowing perfectly what was really cool though is noticing even the change of pace in your voice and almost like just a weight come off your shoulders or a weight lift from the air as soon as you started talking about your second pregnancy and birth experience because I could just tell there was more confidence you felt more informed there was it was just completely different so that was. Cause I could just tell there was more confidence. You felt more informed. There was, it was just completely different. So that was cool because I could feel that in your energy as you were sharing that story. The other thing that was really cool is,

I don't even know if you've made this connection, but I'm going to reflect it back to you because it was so clear to me is you making a comment about, um, just how you felt very different. And you realized that you kind of had to make your, carve your own path to make it just align with what was going on for you. And I feel like that's exactly what's going on in your business journey right now. They are totally nearing each other.

So I don't know if that makes it feel more like scary and more pressure. Cause it's like, oh no, I have to do this again. Or if it's also like just reassuring cause you've done it before and you can do it again. Um, so that's really, really cool. Yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about that either. Let that marinate. Cause I just see like the mirror of the two so clearly. And it's like, yeah, like as soon as you start noticing and like these little nudges that come from so many different things.

And it's often like in hindsight, right? When we realize these things where it's like, hey, yeah, like that didn't feel right. And I understand why. Or like, yeah, I didn't really fit in there. And I understand why. And then you kind of put it all together and it's like, okay, I can't keep doing what other people are doing. I can't keep running on autopilot.

I can't keep living my life by default. It's not going to work for me. It's not going to be sustainable. It's not going to be fulfilling. So I need to carve my own time. Like I didn't give myself like five, six, seven, eight years to kind of figure out mothering. I'm just like, I'm going to do both. Yeah. And so I feel completely crazy because I am doing both, but I have been able to weave so many things together because there are so so many similarities um yeah there's another thing I wanted to bring up oh I know I am this is I almost say like it's almost embarrassing to say this out loud so I don't know if I'm the only one that feels this way but I almost feel creepy and like I'm imposing on someone's personal space when I go look on their website or go click on their link

tree like on Instagram even though I know I'm not going to be a client of theirs it's almost like I'm I'm window shopping in a store that I have no business in anyways I creeped your website and I enjoyed every minute of it when I was reading like your about page because I just wanted to get to know you a little bit more and um and and then I stumbled across your blog and I read one of your blog posts about um just like what there was a line in it that completely like it's like you pulled the words right out of my mouth for me and it was I read this probably like last week so it's not top of mind and I didn't know I was going to bring this up, but, uh, what was it? Um, just, just, I think you were talking about how, like, you felt so confident in your own space and in your home in terms of how you were showing up as a mother.

And then as soon as you were kind of outside of your personal bubble and whether it was among friends or just like out shopping or something, that confidence completely was lost. And I've totally been experiencing that. And I feel like, I don't know, like it's been really. Contradictive in my mind, because it's like, hey, what the hell? Like, how come I can feel so good and so just like strong in my beliefs and what I'm doing and feel so connected to my intuition. And then as soon as I leave my house, it's like, I'm just like this deflated bubble.

And to the point where like, I've noticed myself, I'll just like, I isolate. I just like, don't want to leave the house because I don't want to lose that confident feeling. And yeah, I don't know. I just wanted to bring that up because it was something that I really connected to and what you were sharing. And I don't know, I don't know when you wrote that. I don't know what stage of motherhood you were specifically speaking about or if it's happened over and over and over again. But again, I think it kind of translates to business too, now that I'm looking at it. Yeah. You know what? It really, because this is a constant struggle that I faced in my entrepreneurial journey, that I can be in my little mind business bubble and be like, this makes sense. This is the plan. This is what I'm doing. I know what I'm talking about. I can help people. And then I literally open Instagram and it's all out the window. I'm like, I suck. I have no idea what I'm doing. Why would anyone want to work with me? You know, it's wild how quickly it can flip. When you mentioned being almost like obsessive

over like what to call yourself or I, you were sharing that I was thinking about the the stupid id bio and I like obsess over that like it I have so much pressure that I've put on myself that like this has to read and be articulated the perfect way because that's the first impression people are going to have of me that's how they decide if they're going to follow or not and it's just like so messed up if you think about it, that we are putting all of our eggs in that one teeny tiny basket. There's obviously so much more to us that like actually defines who we are and what we do. And also silly, just hearing us both share this out loud, like silly in the sense that we are allowing something like Instagram to have so much impact on our self-worth.

I know. And I hate it. I don't want to. No, I know. Yeah. Me neither. Me neither. But like, I think I really don't know. I was going to, I was going to try to pull up some really like wise comment and like try to pull us out of this rut, but like, I don't actually know the answer I think I think for me personally there's been some strategies that I've tried to implement and incorporate into like just how I like look at content creation now or even how I've um played around with like different launch strategies and like offer creation. And I think a lot of it is so reflective of how I prepared for birth. And it really comes down to like, there's some common or not common,

but there's some classic sayings I feel like that I kind of like held with me during birth. And even when I was dabbling in birth work and that was like, don't let other people's fears into your birth space. And it's like, okay, like that is also so true in my business space. Like don't let other people's fears and projections into my business space as I'm creating. And yeah, like it's, it's easier said than done of course another thing is like also looking at your fears as they come up and allowing them to almost be um just like a source of clarity in the sense of like what direction to go into next or like what part of yourself is needing more tLC and self-compassion. So instead of like getting frustrated or shaming myself for a fear that keeps coming up, I mean, likely related to scarcity and money. Those are the common things that come up for me or worry about what people are going to think in case I

like say something wrong, like all of those things. So when I noticed those things keep popping up instead of shaming myself and being frustrated, they're coming up again. I'm like, okay, like what need is not being met here? And like, how can I meet it myself? And again, that translates so beautifully into birth. And like some of the preparations I did in my own pregnancy, excuse me, is like, how can I actually be the biggest advocate? How can I be my biggest cheerleader? How can I fill in the blank? And yeah. Like, I do it so easily with my kids, like offer just aggressive compassion for what they're going through. And I have seen time and time again, even if it's something like, you know, we've been through navigating school trauma and refusal. And, you know, there was a period of time where my eldest kid was on the couch, naked for months, literally doing nothing. And that is what he needed to do for his nervous system. And

I had to work on myself to be okay with that, and to have that compassion for him. And it worked. It, you know, I mean, not that it's all about fixing things and finding solutions, but I think we often think like, oh, well, what can compassion actually do? Right. But leaning into that, whatever is happening and allowing it to be and allowing it to have the space that it needs means that other things can happen as well. You can move through them. And I've seen him come out the other side and he is amazing. And this is actually something I'm trying to now use for myself because I have struggled with PMDD for a few years. And I follow some cycle syncing people and I'm like, maybe this is the answer but the way that they talk about it is like I think for people with like normal PMS and so it's really not quite

the same when like you're sort of incapacitated for almost a week and so what I've decided to try like this cycle is offering myself that just like ridiculous amount of self-compassion permission to do absolutely nothing in my business and just do the bare minimum of, you know, around the house and for my kids. And to see what that creates, because what I've been doing, which is shaming myself and trying to force myself out of it or trying to find tasks that will work for that phase of my cycle, that's working so there's no point in continuing to do that um so stay tuned yeah I definitely want an update on that that sounds really cool and I absolutely did not know

that we were going to head into the menstrual cycle but I'm happy we are. That has actually been a huge part of my healing for lack of a better word. I feel like there's gotta be a better word, but my healing experience, my journey right now is really being able, I guess it's been like a catalyst in connecting to myself. And I view pregnancy the same. Pregnancy was a huge catalyst for just actually figuring out what the hell my intuition was. Cause prior to being pregnant, I was like, what's that? Like, I don't have one. I'd hear people talking about like trusting their gut and trusting their intuition. I'm like, I don't think I so funny um so yeah like I've I've kind of seen them in my menstrual cycle as another opportunity for that self-connection and that self-compassion and that practice of

yeah like I guess just like offering like countless permission slips and really unlearning all of the societal shoulds that keep popping up and I like mean for me coming from overachiever and perfectionist and people pleaser tendencies and then coming out of my nursing career and shift work and like just all of those things and having to unlearn what it actually looks like to be a human because I honestly was just this robot living on on autopilot for so long I was just this walking head I was so disconnected from my body and like I said pregnancy and birth for me were an opportunity to actually cultivate that connection again. But I would say my menstrual cycle has really been

how I've truly been able to start integrating it and like embodying some of these themes we keep bringing up, right? Like self-compassion and self-worth um I would love to hear more about I guess like yeah just how you are navigating your cycle right now in terms of how you're showing up as a mother and what you're doing in your business to actually like you said like it's not about fixing it it's not about like micromanaging your schedule to try to make it work if anything it's it's likely about slowing down maybe even stopping um and society is likely going to say oh well you're just like a lazy piece of shit or like you are um i don't know whatever they're going to say and it's so hard to shush out those voices right because it's literally been in brain dust to think that in order to be successful, in

order to be a contributing member of society, you need to be go, go, go, do, do, do, hustle, grind, ignore anything your body's telling you. So I would love to hear just what you're actually doing from like a tangible perspective. Yeah. So I guess I have to caveat this with, I have an immense amount of privilege in that, you know, I, I was a stay at home parent for years, and I can grow this business slowly in that I, we don't rely on my income um so I have the privilege to do nothing when I need to and that's huge um so I mean I'll start with that but um I think the sort of things that I'm playing with and I think this will be probably a very long trial and error thing is that in my follicular phase,

to do the more outward facing stuff, creating content, working on resources for clients, recording podcasts, you know, things like that. And then for me, my doomsday starts around cycle day 19. And so really, it's in our calendar. My husband knows about it. You know, my best friend knows about it. Like that if I need to just really go internal and watch TV in my bed all day,, that's what's going to happen. Um, and it's interesting because my kids,

like there are days where I'm just hanging out in bed and my kids don't seem, I was so stressed about what they would see that as, um, you know, what's wrong with mom. She's in bed. Um, but they don't really seem to notice. They just come and hang out with me and chat and, um, you know, I'll be like, oh, I'm just really needing some extra rest today. And they're like, oh, yeah, OK, cool. And I thought, what an awesome modeling situation for them to see someone who is honoring their body, because I did not grow up that way.

Rest had to be earned in my childhood. And there was a lot of messaging around being lazy and, you know, not never being enough. And so that, you know, has really fueled my parenting and that I don't want my kids to ever feel that. And I want them to know that they are just inherently enough, because they're human. And, you know, if they are in relationships with someone that has a menstrual cycle in the future, like, maybe they'll go into that, like honoring it, because we talk about it, you know, why, you know, I have my period, I'm bleeding from my uterus. This is what happens. And for me, it's not even during the bleeding phase. That's the problem. But and so I think a huge part in terms of the business is

not being active on Instagram during that time, because as we just talked about, even when I'm in a pretty good headspace, I can go on and be like, oh, my God, I suck. So, um, you know, cause I've been trying to be very consistent with showing up, but I have to accept that my consistency is I can show up for three weeks out of the month. And for one week, I'm probably not going to be on very much. And, um, I think giving myself that permission to do like literally nothing, then maybe it will allow like to hop on once in a while and post a story or whatever. Right. But it's doing it from a place that I can as opposed to I should. And, you know, I guess like in terms of big existential themes, because I'm an Aquarius, um, like it's, you know, I want to fuck the patriarchy. I want to like live my life in a way that works for me and my body.

Um, and so I hope that this is like my small way of doing that. Um, but it's really hard. It's going to have to be every single day reminding myself of why I'm doing this and you know the the benefits of it and how long term it's going to make my business more sustainable because if I didn't operate in this way I would probably burn out very very quickly and my mind would take my brain would win that shitty side of my brain would win because I would give it too much space in that week where it needs to be offline so yeah it's gonna have to be a very conscious practice but I'm hopeful I have a plan yeah well and it's really cool to hear that you have like

your family and your best friend on board like I think that is such a valuable piece to all of this that a lot of us are missing is we're still really isolating ourselves and shaming ourselves yeah my dog is driving me nuts Crosby we don't want you on the podcast um Crosby says hi everyone um shoot what was I gonna say I had um people on board that I wanted yeah well and I think I think I still notice myself I'm very comfortable about speaking about like what stage of my cycle I'm in online because I mean I've intentionally cultivated this community that I know these are likely my people and if you're not my people then you can get out of here. But again, it kind of mirrors the comment about having so much confidence in my mothering in my home, in my bubble, and then stepping out of the bubble and it's just deflating.

And it's kind of the same thing. Like I have so much confidence in just the things I'm doing for my, for myself during my menstrual cycle. And then as soon as I have to talk about it out loud to regular people I mean I just don't like I'm still I'm still um and really that's that's perpetuating kind of the issue here right and the issue being that that everywhere in terms of like marketing and how we grew up and I'm just thinking back to like, back when I was a teenager, and seeing like the Kotex commercials of like, you can do anything you want, like any day of your cycle, right? You just like, use a tampon and like, off you go. And it's like, okay, but what about all the other symptoms? Like, why are we just masking the bleeding part? What about everything else that's going on? What about the

other like three weeks of the month when there's still like massive energy shifts and like hormonal changes going on? Why aren't we talking about this? And instead, like you're just kind of told that you should be ignoring that part of yourself and like it shouldn't become a part of it shouldn't it shouldn't be something that disrupts your life and so I guess like yeah I'm just reflecting on the fact that I've done a really good job of creating that safe space for me within my home to hold space for all of those energy shifts, all of those hormonal changes throughout the month, but it's still feeling very taboo outside of my bubble. Um, anyways, all this to say that it's just really cool that like you said, it's marked on your calendar, your husband knows your best friend knows. And I think, and your kids are seeing you. And I think you said it's little

that they get to see you do that. But that's huge. That's exactly how we make change, right? That is the start of the ripple. Your kids are going to see it. And then they're like, oh, that is just so cool. Yeah. And you've said that it's hard work and it's going to be like a daily conscious effort.

And that is so true. It is. But again, you already said this, it's going to, it's going to have so many benefits, not just in your business in terms of longevity and sustainability, but also in how you parent and how you show up as like a partner and a wife. And again, we just don't hold enough space and reverence for that. Like we don't hold enough space and reverence for that like we don't understand how the more rest you take during that specific time in your cycle is actually like going to recharge you so that you have the energy in your next cycle like I haven't heard of that until like the past couple months

like that was literally news to me it's like why didn't I know that like 15 years ago? Like why wasn't that taught? And just to kind of weave all this back into business, because it's just really cool how there's so many parallels. And I think your story especially is really making that clear to me. Just speaking about, I heard you say consistency and like sustainability and just other words like that. And I think that's something that so many of us are currently getting, well, if you're not, I feel like you should get super reflective on and start like redefining what consistency actually means to you and redefining what like success in both

like your business, but also like how you show up as a mother looks like, because if you continue trying to strive for what you're seeing online, you are a hundred percent just going to burn out. And again, like there's just not really enough conversations about this. So I love that we're having it. There really isn't. And I, you know, just as really enough conversations about this. So I love that we're having it. There really isn't. And I, you know, just as you're talking, I'm thinking, I don't think I've never talked publicly about this, but I would love to hear other people doing it. So, I mean, I hope this resonates with someone who listens to this and they know that they're not the only one that's dealing with it. Because I mean, I think especially like, I know you're younger, but I'm entering like the perimenopausal

phase. And it's I think it gets more and more prominent, right? We're dealing with more hormonal fluctuations and changes that are different from our previous, you know, menstrual cycles. And yeah, about the consistency, you know, I was really stressing about, you know, if I, because I'm trying to build this business, if I take a week off every month, I'm never going to get anywhere, right? That was my thought. That was really, really rigid. What's the algorithm going to do to you, right you right it's like if we're constantly trying to work with this algorithm we are literally gonna fail like it's exactly it's not even worth our energy trying to win at it exactly and that's a safe thought for me because it's like well I just

shouldn't try anyway I shouldn't bother because it's never going to work anyways. Right. But yeah, it's, it's redefining consistency exactly as you said. And, you know, I think if our society and business and capitalism had been built around people with hormonal cycles, it would look very different, right? And no one's going to do that for us. We have to do it ourselves. So where was I going with that? I can't remember. But I think that is, that's going to be a big journey for me over the course of the next few months is trying to talk back to that thought of if I take this week off, it's never going to work. Because I mean, I think we can look at that logically and be like, well, that's not true. That's not going to make sense. Like, you know. And in fact, if I'm spending an entire week shaming myself and like,

really beating myself up for not doing things that is going to make me less productive and less present in my life and less available for my clients those other three weeks totally when I think leaning into that is what's going to help you propel yourself through that is just remembering the impact that it's going to have for like future you right instead of being so fixated on what this means about you in the current moment because we know those thoughts are garbage like we know we are working through them and it can be so easy to feel frustrated when the thoughts keep coming up but instead of trying to fix those thoughts and make them go away maybe just maybe we

can have self-compassion for those thoughts but then also kind of rewire our thinking to look at okay what's this actually going to do and why am I doing this again it's like preparing for birth like getting back into like leaning into your why and like I don't know I just like there's so many parallels it's like almost comical when I start just I can't not see them yeah that's so true and I think that speaks to like birth is not a discrete event right it's it's you as a human and like I can think of a million ways in my life that this having to carve my own path thing has come up so you know it's almost like we are authentic people who just have to keep

living the same thing and learning from it and you know making that path more clear for ourselves because it's going to keep happening in different aspects of our life well and that's the thing like it does keep happening like I think of healing as like this upward spiral. And so like the same things do keep coming up, but we are seeing them from a different perspective. We're wearing different glasses at that point because we have different experience behind us. And again, even just leaning back into that really does help me pull into that self-compassion when I feel like I really just don't have anything left in me to give because it's like, okay, no, like this, this is what's supposed to happen. Like

this actually means I'm on the right track. Um, right. Same with like when I'm meeting resistance and it's like, Oh, like how come I haven't moved through this yet? Like, or how come this is coming up again? And it's like, well, no, this just means like, I how come I haven't moved through this yet like or how come this is coming up again and it's like well no this just means like I'm I'm I'm meeting my edge and this is an opportunity to kind of expand my threshold and widen my tolerance and from like a nervous system perspective again it just offers me that dose of self-compassion when I start looking at it that way as opposed to just this negative self-talk and this negative mind chatter that's shaming myself. Because obviously that's not supportive. But like you said, like this is stuff that you have to do daily and be very, very conscious and intentional about. And that is hard, hard work. Yeah yeah it really is these conversations really aren't talked publicly enough um yeah and it can be so easy to

just start again this like cycle of self-shame where it's like oh I'm the only one going through this this must this must mean there's something wrong with me. This must mean I'm missing something. And then you get stuck in this like mindset of lack and scarcity. And it's like, Hey, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. Like, it's just like not talked about. And it's the cycle of silence. So then we keep like not talking about it because we think something's wrong with us. And then it just perpetuates the loneliness for everyone else. And so really to break the cycle, we have to talk about it. So I'm super, super, super grateful for you to be here today. And so open and vulnerable about all these things, because I think it really does start to break that cycle so that more and more people can be like, Oh, okay. I'm not the only one experiencing that. Oh, okay. She thinks that too. Oh, cool. Okay. Like maybe

I'm not crazy. Maybe this is actually a thing and it's not, it's just doesn't, it's not so personal anymore. Yeah. Yeah. So that's really cool. I was just thinking about when, when you were sharing about what made me think of it. I think when we, when we were starting to talk about consistency and just like redefining consistency for ourselves and like in your case on Instagram, for example, that means like maybe three weeks of actually being more present online. And then one week of your MIA, just really understanding that like we are cyclical beings. And I mean, I think those of us that are connected to our menstrual cycle understand that, but also weaving that into like our business and the stages of motherhood and just understanding that like, we're not supposed

to be on all the time and much like nature, right? There's fall and winter and fall reminds us like how beautiful it is to let things go. And then winter is that time to look inwards and hibernate and there's no growth. And then we have so much compassion for the seasons in nature when it's winter. And we live in Canada, so we know winter. When it's winter, as much as we want it to be summer,'re not thinking oh my god like what if summer never comes what if we never have a sunny day again we know it's coming we don't know when but we know it's coming and I think a really good way to think about it I think that it was just so true like you can literally have that you can

literally copy and paste that framework to everything in your life and it's the same in business it's the same in motherhood there's going to be stages of your business where it feels like summer it feels like things are just going well things are feeling easy things are just like all the fruits of your labor are actually being ready to harvest and then I mean yeah I guess like in terms of that analogy, fall comes next. And so again, just looking at that season of your business is okay. Like I'm in, I'm in fall right now. This is a time to start looking inwards. This is a time to start letting go. This is a time to start becoming really intentional of, yeah, this is working. I want

to keep doing it. No, this isn't, I'm going to let that go. And instead of like shaming yourself, Oh, why is this so slow? Why am I not getting new clients? Why am I not feeling creative and creating new offers and like just banging things out there? It's like, Oh no, it's because I'm in this season of my life and it's okay. And almost orienting to that season, knowing that it's not permanent, knowing that the next season is to come. Yeah, that's my, and it's something I think about quite often. Totally. And I think what that brought up for me was the idea of trust and trusting yourself and trusting, I guess, our inner cycles. And that is something I was, you know, I think none of us are really raised with, right? It's always like, you don't trust your body, you don't trust how hungry you are, what you feel like eating, or when you feel

like resting when you don't, right? It's this real relearning of, of how my body and my brain works and that that will work out okay. And that's really tough. Again, to weave it back into birth because I can't help but not like in pregnancy, just thinking about, okay, we know that it takes a baby roughly 40 weeks of gestation um as much as some parts of our our culture want to rush that like we know we know that like obviously a baby is not going to be born at 20 weeks i mean in perfect circumstances and we do kind of hold space for that um and same with just like not micromanaging what's going on inside of our bodies in that period of life. We know that baby is like growing and their fingernails are forming and they're growing hair, whatever it is, there is that innate trust because

there just is. Yet you pointed out yet. We don't even trust ourselves to know when we're hungry or when we need to go to the bathroom or when we need to rest. And so looking back on my own experience in terms of how I did actually start connecting to my intuition and start connecting to my body, it started with those little things. It started with, Hey, I need to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. And believe me as a nurse, that is really, really hard because it's literally trained. We're

trained to hold your bladder as messed up as that is, um, or eating when I'm hungry or the hardest one is resting when I need rest. Because like you already said this, like I've, I've been under the impression that rest needs to be earned as well. And I've really had a hard time unlearning that one. And I still am working through it. Um, but yeah, like those little things, they seem so little, but they really are big, big, big parts of our day because they're continuous and if we can start actually actually listening to our body with those little little signs it becomes so much easier to listening to the other like whispers that our body is constantly trying to communicate with us yeah that's a really good point um and I think that's such a huge point in parenting and sort of parenting against the mainstream, too, is supporting our kids to trust their own bodies and their own intuitions.

And, you know, to eat what they feel like eating and stop, like, trust that they'll stop. And, you know, that if we let them eat chocolate once they're not going to only eat chocolate forever you know all those kinds of like there's so much fear so much fear around if you do something now that's how it will always be or if you don't do something now that's how it will always be um and you know kind of like knowing that they will eventually stop nursing, they will eventually stop needing you to hold them all the time, you know? Um, and I honestly, there were parts of my parenting journey where I was like, I don't believe you.

Like, I literally don't believe you because it feels like, um, it will never change. And my, the way my kids sort of, uh, went through those early development stages was not like other ones that I saw. But I think that's also because, you know, we were really parenting from a nurturing attachment connection place. And so things happen on a different timeline, right? When they're not sort of like forced. When that's disorienting in itself, right? When you look outwards and you see things being done differently, it's like, oh no, maybe I'm doing something wrong. And then that perpetuates that like negative mind chatter again. And again, just brings up why it makes, it makes sense that

when we are in our own homes, when we are in our own space, in our own bubble, we can feel so connected to our intuition. We can feel so so confident and so like the theme I'm hearing is like just being really really really cautious and conscious to your thought patterns your beliefs as you're consuming things from the outside because I think That really is what just makes everything a bit like muckier. And I don't know if, yeah. And I don't know if there's like a clear answer as to how to like clear out that mud, like obviously less consumption, but in the case of my mothering bubble, like obviously like isolating myself isn't the answer right so i think it's how do i actually orient to my own truth how do i

really feel grounded and secure in my belief systems and i guess like showing my body and my nervous system safety before i step out of that bubble almost like like putting a, what am I like a armor. Yes. Thank you. Right. Like, and so like, well, I'm like just protecting that bubble. So that bubble doesn't deflate. And I'd say that armor gets stronger, you know, as you do it and you continually see the you know that it does keep happening they do grow like you do grow you know then it becomes easier easier to believe yeah but well and all the more reason to start putting on that armor in pregnancy right not waiting for that traumatic birth experience not waiting for that really really hard postpartum for you to be like, oh crap, I should have done things differently. You actually can start doing things right the first time.

Yeah. I mean, preventing trauma is I think one of my main goals. And it's a tough thing to talk about because you don't want to scare people into it. But I've just seen and myself have been that person who was naive and uninformed and trusting of the system. And then, you know, was traumatized by it and had to work my way out of that. And I have worked with clients who came to me and were like, I know this is a possibility. I've seen this happen. I want to avoid this myself. And I'm just like, wow, that's awesome.

Like, you're amazing. Let's do it. When it comes back to kind of like the beginning of our conversation and what you're experiencing currently in your business is how do you get really clear on the messaging so that people want to get informed and people want to become like their biggest advocate? And how do you do that without fear mongering? is yeah and I think that is I mean that is the secret to it is really just coming from a place of compassion and wanting to inform um I don't really know I don't really have an actual comment to make there I'm just like literally reflecting in real time the gears are turning it's like oh so much to think about right now this is so cool yeah it and you know it's trauma is a powerful word and I think unfortunately like ideas of empowerment and self-advocacy and autonomy aren't as powerful they're not as like you know it when you flip it like like, what's the opposite of trauma?

You know, I don't know if you can do that. But what does preparing for birth in a sort of personal and comprehensive way give you? And from what I've seen with myself and my clients is feeling empowered, feeling supported, feeling autonomous. And that's really hard to like sell and describe. And, you know, the whole idea of like, what's the transformation? You can't quantify it. Right. So yeah. Well, unfortunately, like so many of us so many of us don't even want to do something differently because I I don't know if it's I don't know if it's just because like we're naive or I mean ignorance is bliss or every, but like, it's like, oh, well, that's not going to happen

to me. And so, so, so many people fall into these second time pregnancies where they're like, okay, I want to do something differently. Like I want to be more informed this time. Um, and I'm just trying to think back to my own experience because I obviously went into pregnancy with a different mindset. And I, I don't know if I can clearly put my finger on what it was that made me do the prep that I knew I needed to do. I think honestly, if I'm being honest, it probably had a lot to do with my nursing background and just seeing the gaps in the system I had exposure from obviously a different perspective but I was able to kind of k-weight if I am now if the roles

are reversed like I don't want to I don't want to be I don't want to be on the other side of this and then I just remember I remember so clearly thinking about all the friends or like in my inner circle and how literally almost all of them had had c-sections and I was like that just doesn't make sense like birth doesn't need to end in a surgery why in terms of just the statistics within like my 10 closest friends, why is that statistic so high? And I remember thinking like, I don't want to be that statistic. Like, so I almost started doing everything I needed to do to figure out like, why does this keep happening? And it became very clear to me that like, a lot of it has to do with just our healthcare system and society's view on birth and like the obsession with like

medicalizing it and just making it go as fast as possible like putting a timeline on it um i also like could understand and appreciate the the medical model's perspective on wanting to have control in terms of this like false sense of safety because I was a part of it right even though I wasn't like an L&D nurse I could still see how yeah like in the healthcare system it's your one job to basically keep people alive and to fix so of course there's going to be interventions like lifting up your hands and just like hopefully everything goes okay is very very uncomfortable when you have um just like that medical training under your belt right and and even thinking back to nursing school and the things we were taught like truthfully you're just taught what goes wrong and how to fix it we we didn't learn about how things go right if we learn about how things go, right. If we learn about how things go right, then we wouldn't have a job. Right. So, um, yeah, my pregnancy experience was a buttload of

unlearning and really just going down to the basics. And I guess there was my intuition now that I know what it is, my intuition telling me that like birth is a natural event. It doesn't need to be medicalized, obviously, unless there's medical reasons for it. But yeah, like and it is just interesting, like how did I get that mindset? And so I guess part of it is just the experience of being in the health care system. Again, looking back, there was instances in my own in my own health where I felt betrayed I guess by the medical system and like just like hey why are we just throwing band-aids on everything and so again not wanting not wanting that to I didn't want to add birth to my resume of oh let's just slap another band-aid fix to it like I really wanted to get

down to how our body's supposed to be working and I don't know I think the other layer to it and I reflect on this often too is I was pregnant in the middle of COVID and um the whole time during COVID really not feeling super confident on either side of like the great divide. And like, I just don't know, I don't know where I belong. Like I can kind of see both sides here and I don't know where I belong. And I think you kind of brought this up in your experience with Sophran of like, am I taking care of myself or am I taking care of baby? And this like massive like juxtaposition within my own mind of like, wait, am I selfish if I like choose myself? But like, if I don't choose myself, then like, I don't know, it just becomes this like really big thing. And so I think COVID really was

a catalyst as well for me in the sense of, okay, I really, really, really need to get in tune with what my own truth is and what my own belief systems are. And yeah, again, just like this opportunity of being able to look inwards and start connecting to my body and connecting to my baby of course um but yeah I do think often like had I not been pregnant during COVID because COVID was almost what helped push me into the more natural mindset COVID was for sure the final thing that had me commit to a home birth because I wasn't going to be allowed more than one support system in the hospital um and I think about that often, had it not been COVID,

had it just been the usual policies, like there wouldn't have been that one last thing to push me over the edge. It's really cool just how everything works out. Right. Like. Yeah. Fascinating. It's like the trajectory, the start of the trajectory of your business yeah oh 100 100 wild yeah one i think you said this too how like previous careers you've had looking back have kind of like been breadcrumbs to where you are today and i can see that so clearly now too of course in the moment you don't know that in the moment. It's just like, what am I doing? Like, okay, I'm going to keep doing this because

this is what I chose to do. Or maybe you do have this hunch of, I don't want to do this forever, but then the fear of something new takes over and it's just so easy to stay status quo. But yeah, no, my, my personal journey is the same. There's so many parts to it. It's like, oh, this all makes sense now. And like, it's all just leading me on this divine path. And so it comes back to trust. It comes back to trust and surrendering. So many parallels. So cool. Okay. Where can people find you online three weeks out of the month oh my god yeah so if you catch me on instagram in the good parts it's um at jerry birth coach unless i decide to change my title to something else but anyways um at draper's coach um and my website is jerrytate.com um I have a free resource out right now in case anyone is preparing for their

postpartum which I highly recommend you do before you give birth me too I will link it in the show send it to me and I'll link it for everyone perfect so there's a workbook to get ready part of are you offering just in person prenatal support in Ontario or do you offer virtual as well I offer virtual um so I mean I think Canada makes more sense because the state system is so different um but yeah so it would be a combination of education and support and coaching and just talking through anything that's going on in your life and how any of the concepts that are in the educational resources can apply to you in your specific situation. Amazing. Such a valuable resource.

Like, I think everyone needs a Jerry in their life. But before you go, I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode if you were thinking of anyone while listening please send it their way and if anything resonated with you or you love these conversations please subscribe and leave a review this really helps the podcast algorithms put my show in front of more people just like you and And the last thing, I would love nothing more than hearing from you. So say hi, DM me on Instagram and give me a follow at NicolePasvir. Until next time.