REWILD + FREE - It's not goodbye, it's see you later...

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

Podcast rebrand announcement and my own reflections around shifting identities, avoiding burnout, and navigating business creation through the lens of cyclical orientation I share how I've been very  intentional with where my energy is going lately. Acknowledging that a loss in momentum can easily turn into a spiral of self shaming or labeled as "self-sabotage" or "procrastination"Instead, I see this is a sacred pause, an intentional space to recenter and recalibrate and get clarity  so I can create from an embodied place in alignment with my values  Excited to officially announce my calendar is open for 1-1 clients , connect with me on IG if you're curious about what this looks like 💃💃 Connect with me on IG (@nicolepasveer)Join my email list to stay in the loop and be the first to know when the podcast officially restarts and all the details related to future offerings Want to join me as a guest on the show?  Fill out this formIf this show has inspired, transformed or made your life a tinyyy bit better in anyway and you’ve been searching for a way to say thank you, and support me in producing more episodes, you can now buy me a donut 🍩  (see link below)Support the showConnect with Nicole on IG (@nicolepasveer) Want to be a guest on the podcast? Fill out this form

Welcome to the Not Just a Mom Show, where we have open and honest conversations about the vulnerabilities and the victories within entrepreneurship and new motherhood. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pazvir and I'm going to be your host. Here on the show, we don't subscribe to perfection. In fact, being present is the new perfect and showing up messy is the new norm. We are worthy, just as we are, as all that we are, not just the label we put on ourselves. We are more than just a mom, and I'm so glad you're here. Wowzers, it's been a while. I think it's literally been, well, I know there's been two weeks without a podcast, but it's been more weeks than that since I've actually sat down and recorded.

And that was totally not on purpose. I did not intentionally plan to take a two-week break um but life kind of just started lifing in I guess like some good ways um without completely over explaining myself and rationalizing my absence um I will just say that there's been a lot of integration, I guess is the best word on my end. I, yeah, I've been, I've kind of been in the middle of rebranding my business. And if you're on my email list, you have already seen some of the behind the scenes of that. A couple of weeks ago, I officially announced to those on my email list that I'm officially retiring from birth education. And that's likely not a surprise for most people. I haven't really been talking about birth on social media or even on this podcast for a while. I've been kind of slowly and naturally organically evolving into business mentorship and matrescence coaching. I've recently just completed my six-month training for the Seasons of Matrescence course, which was amazing. Still integrating a lot of those things, but stay tuned because I will be weaving some of the juicy things that I learned from that training into my offers very soon.

But really more importantly, like I am stepping away officially from any type of birth work, childbirth education, birth coaching, prenatal prep type of offerings and completely unapologetically moving towards business mentorship and coaching specifically for mother entrepreneurs. And even saying that out loud still feels a bit uncomfortable. I've realized that the identity shift that comes with a change in role is not something to be taken lightly. It's something that I actually take very, I don't know, I almost put too much thought into it to the point where I overthink things and it slows me down. And I think part of that is a huge fear of how my presence is going to be received. And I guess there's a fear of judgment and a fear of

not being accepted. So a fear of being canceled, a fear of being kind of kicked out of the tribe from a primal standpoint. And I think more deeply at the core of that is a fear of not being loved, right? A fear of not being accepted is a fear of not being loved. And so I've been working through some of that and been doing so very tenderly and compassionately. And I think I got some momentum. I had a lot of creative juices flowing. As you guys know, if you've followed along or have listened to a couple episodes of the Not Just a Mom podcast, you know that I was doing a garbage post challenge

on Instagram. So the premise of that was basically 100 posts in 30 days. And it wasn't so much to blast out a ton of content and really hype up my marketing strategy. it was actually with the intention of creating safety and showing my nervous system that it is okay to be visible and that it is okay to take up space online and that everything I do or say does not need to be perfect and A plus quality. In fact, showing up messy, showing up imperfect, putting garbage content out into the universe publicly is okay. Nothing bad happens. And nothing bad did happen. I kind of lost track. I stopped counting. I stopped following any timelines, but I did have a lot of momentum I was on track to complete it around the 20 day mark and then I kind of lost steam and if I'm being honest I went through a couple days of thinking

like oh my goodness how am I supposed to coach people through this when I can't even do it myself I just went into like hustle creation mode and I've burnt myself out and all these kind of like negative mind chatter spirals I noticed myself go into. And I realized that none of that was actually true. I didn't actually hustle. I didn't grind. The entire time I was completing or working towards completing that challenge, I was very in tune with my body and very in tune with what my desires were as opposed to the shoulds. And that's a big thing that I preach is not to shit on yourself and to really just follow desire and what you actually want versus what you feel obligated to do. So I really did stay in touch with that whole narrative. I didn't allow myself to show up online just because I was doing the garbage post challenge. So I had to, um, and those 20 or so

days of me kind of in that easeful groove. Um, and I say easeful because honestly it was like, once I kind of got over the hump of the frequency and kind of just broke through, um, the stickiness of posting so often and worrying about, Oh, what's this going to do to the algorithm? Or what are people going to think if I post like three times in a row? Once I got past that, it really did become fun and easeful. I think I forgot to say I'm in the bathtub again. More on that in a second. I should finish with what I'm talking about, but I realized I was just like splashing and playing with bubbles and you're probably wondering what is Nicole doing? Um, anyways, yeah, the garbage post challenge, it was going really well and then it wasn't. And for

a couple of days I really was hard on myself thinking that I was burning myself out. I was doing all the things that I'm really wanting to coach other women not to do. And so those thoughts of being an imposter started popping up and a bunch of other things. And I kind of realized that, you know what? No, it wasn't any of that. I wasn't burned out. I was simply just being called to where my energy and attention and devotion was better served. Life got busy.

I had a cold. We celebrated Aubrey's birthday, as I like to say, my two-year anniversary of being a mom. We also ended up, there was some shifts in the family dynamics. And my dad, for long story short, my dad is currently living in our basement. So that has been a bit of a shift as well, just having an extra person in the house and just sharing my space and my energy during the day. I'm used to my husband being at work all day and it's just me and Aubrey. So that's been a huge shift. And I've noticed that all the momentum and creative flow that I was experiencing kind of got sucked dry while all these big changes were happening. And like I said,

I easily could have kind of spiraled and started shaming or judging myself or blaming it on burnout and thinking that I did something wrong and that I need to do better next time. And I've realized now that I've kind of come out of it, I've realized that it wasn't that at all. It was just simply me intentionally using my energy where it was needed. And with that, I'm proud of myself for doing that. I'm proud of myself for not forcing myself to show up in places that, yeah, I just didn't need to. Oh, cool. Now there's a fly buzzing around me. This is lovely.

My peaceful bath is now shared with a buzzing fly. From the outside, it might look like burnout. Or maybe from the outside, it looks like self-sabotage. Or maybe it looks like procrastination, which is really just perfectionism often getting in the way. it literally all started to unfold days after my announcement in my emails, just sharing that I was officially pivoting to business coaching. And yeah, since I've kind of stepped back and zoomed out a little bit, I can see that that's not actually what happened. It was kind of just a coincidence in the timing. And really, it's more multidimensional than that, right? It always is. So there's that. The other thing that I wanted to share and talk about in this episode is my plans to

rebrand this podcast. And that's partially why I'm recording in the tub. It's the beginning of the very first episode of the Not Just a Mom podcast was me recording in the tub. And I thought, okay, let's come full circle and let's do the last episode of the Not Just a Mom podcast in the tub. So there I said it, this is going to be the last episode of the Not Just a Mom podcast. But don't worry, the podcast itself isn't going anywhere. I am just going to be changing the name, something that honestly I've wanted to do since

before I even started. I just told myself that I needed to pick a name or else I would never start. So Not Just a Mom was never, never a name that completely lit me up. And I'm ready now to, I guess, just a little bit, get a little bit more serious and a little bit more intentional about how I want this podcast to look and who I want it to serve. Um, if you've been around since the beginning, you know, that the very first episode, I kind of, I think I said something along the lines of this podcast isn't for you. This podcast is really for me to just practice, just practice like playing around with my own self-expression and playing around with unfiltering myself in the stories I share and just my vulnerability and all the things that have kind of come out on this show and I feel like I've done that I feel like I have done a really good job at that actually and I've

had feedback to kind of validate that not that I need that but I realized that I needed this time the past six months these past 27 or so episodes or whatever it is, I needed those episodes to really practice and play around with my self-expression and also to practice and play around with editing and just doing a podcast on my own and all the tech stuff behind it and the back end stuff that I was honestly really, really nervous for. So I've kind of proven to myself that I can do all that and I'm ready to I guess take it up a notch um so I don't exactly know yet what that's gonna look like I know that there's gonna be more solo episodes there's gonna be more episodes just around me sharing I guess my experience and my knowledge around business creation and just like the the cyclical processes around mothering around creation around literally everything this entire year the past 10 months or so time of recording it's October so, the past 10 months or so, time of recording, it's October. So yeah,

the past 10 months, I have been really, really intentional about orienting back to the cycles. So whether that's my menstrual cycle, or like I said, the seasons of matrescence training that I was doing, or just the cycles of life, the seasons of nature, all of it. I have really been intentional about just using that almost as a compass in my life moving forward. And it's also been a really big part of my business development and my business creation. So I'm excited to talk more about that. I'm really excited to just

continue to share the vulnerabilities and the victories of motherhood as an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur that's a mother, whatever you want to look at it. I really do think that the two can't be separate. I see so often that other containers or other coaches are simply just business or just motherhood. And I'm a big believer that the two can't be separate and personal growth and creation also go together. I've said this in other spaces before, but your business growth cannot exceed your personal growth. So again, the two go hand in hand. So I'm excited to kind of go in that direction.

Like I said, more solo episodes. There still will be guest episodes, but I might be, again, just a little bit more intentional about what guests I'm bringing on. I really, really do love having guests on the show. I love holding space for their stories. And I always learn so much. I always learn so much

from hearing other people's experiences, knowing that the language they're using often, often can give language to our own experience. So there will be guests coming on the show still. What else can I say? I think another big reason there was a bit of a stall or a bit of a gap in this particular creation process is, like I said, I had a lot of momentum. I had a lot of creative juices flowing. I had a new name picked out that I was really, really excited about. And then after a bit of searching, I realized that that name is already being used. And in the podcast world, I would say that's not necessarily a big deal it's kind of like books right there's tons of

books with the same name but obviously different author and different um front cover and stuff and different subtitles so the podcast world is kind of the same there's tons of podcasts with the same title just different different things around it to separate it but this particular title I did some digging and the the show itself was a very similar niche to the direction I'm going and a very big um a very big brand I'll say um so I didn't want to get mixed into that I didn't want to have to yeah it just didn't feel clean to me so I'm kind of back at the drawing boards in terms of a name and I hate to admit this, but that is sort of slowing me down. But at the same time, I think this space was actually needed because it's allowed me to get

more clarity on the direction I'm going. It's also allowed me to kind of realign myself and my vision. I, again, hate to admit this, but I think for a little while I was getting off track. I was getting caught up with some of the more mainstream bro marketing business-y strategy. I was getting caught up in other people's definitions of success and consistency. And quite honestly, I was just, yeah, I was starting to follow other people's rules. And that is absolutely not how I want to create this business. That's absolutely not how I coach other women to create their businesses. So again, this space has kind of allowed me to recenter and recalibrate and get myself back on track. So anyways, this particular episode has kind of been a couple weeks in the making. I had full intentions of recording several weeks ago and then I got a head cold so literally that was my

body telling me no it's not time to record and thank goodness I didn't because at that time I thought I had the name picked out so that episode would have been me rambling on and on and on about this name that I was really excited about that I'm no longer going to be using um and yeah there's been some other shifts in the past couple of weeks that have given me more clarity. So I'm going to sit with this for a little while longer. I don't know how much longer I'm going to need. I don't know if it's going to be a couple of days, a couple of weeks, but I will have more episodes coming soon. I also have some new offerings in the works.

I am excited to announce that I am officially opening up my calendar for one-on-one business coaching. So if that's something that you are interested in and you want to build or develop, basically birth or rebirth, a heart-led, conscious, holistic business, one that is not going to burn you out, one that aligns and meshes beautifully with motherhood, then I am your person. I am your biz bestie and mom friend all wrapped into one. Our conversations together will be far deeper than just business strategy. I haven't talked about this much, but I have gone through a season of being allergic to strategy and I've played around with what business creation looks like without quote unquote much strategy. And again, I'm kind of coming on the other side of that and have learned my own way around that. And I'm a big believer that each of our ways,

each of our paths are unique. So me teaching you my way or my framework isn't going to work. I am absolutely not going to do that, but I will kind of use my experience to help hold and guide you as you pave your own path and create your own framework. That's the thing is like we each have to have our own frameworks and those frameworks are likely going to change seasonally, especially as moms. The way you develop and maintain a business with a newborn is very different than the way you develop and maintain a business with a five-year-old or with multiple kids or homeschooling or not homeschooling. The seasons of your life completely change the way the seasons of your business and the seasons of

business creation and content creation go. So there is no one size fits all framework over here. You will never hear me spit out the words, proven framework, proven strategy, make X amount of money in X amount of time. Over here, we really aren't going to be talking much about money. I think for myself and other like-hearted mother entrepreneurs, we aren't in this to make loads of money. We are in this to create impact and legacy. So that is basically the mission and that is the goal. And like I said, like it's important to redefine our definition of success and consistency because it's not going to fit in with the traditional marketing perspectives out there. And yeah, I feel like, I feel like there's probably more that I wanted to share in this episode but I think for now I'm

feeling mostly complete it was important that I share something just because like I said that two-week gap was completely impromptu that was never planned um and it's also important to me that I announce some of the changes that are coming so that you guys can get excited with me. Um, and also help hold me accountable because things like procrastination, um, are real, especially as a recovering perfectionist. Um, I'm constantly having to remind myself that things don't have to be perfect and things don't have to be completely curated and organized or structured before I can take action. And it's okay to take messy action. And so part of that for me looks like sharing this in real time and sharing that I actually don't know what this is going to look like yet. Like I said, I don't know what the name

is going to be. I don't know when the rebrand is officially going to happen. I don't know what my new cover art is going to look like. I don't know any of these things. I've also been in the process of revamping my entire website. That has been something that's in the process for honestly like six or seven months now. It's still in the process. What else can I say? The offers that I'm working on, again, I don't have fancy sales pages or landing pages to give you a link to. Honestly, I was playing around with my calendar and trying doing? Like, you don't believe in discovery calls. And so I will say that if one-on-one coaching with me is something that you are slightly curious about, you will not find a link to hop on a free 30-minute discovery or connection call. I know you and I know me. And we honestly, that's not a good use of our time 30 minutes could easily

be spent with a baby on the boob or prepping for dinner or taking our kids outside for a walk whatever it looks like reading a book having a bath any of those things you do not need to spend 30 minutes on zoom with me just to see if we're a good fit. I'm trusting that you will know if we're a good fit just by hanging out with me here on the podcast or hanging out with me on Instagram. I am very intentional about showing up as authentically as possible. So what you see is what you get. That is the real me. And so with that, if you do have specific questions about what it would be like to work with me instead of the 30 minute Zoom call, I would love to invite you to spend a day with me on Voxer. So download the Voxer app on your phone. And that's a text

messaging, voice messaging app, kind of like a walkie talkie. So you can literally have me in your back pocket for an afternoon and we can just chat. We can chat motherhood, we can chat business, we can chat about whatever is alive in your heart that day. And you can kind of have a sneak peek of what being coached by me, having me in your corner, holding space, cheerleading you on would look like. It's really important to me that mother entrepreneurs feel supported and specifically those of us who are in the business of serving women alongside being a leader in our home and caring for children, we are constantly holding others. And it is so,

so important that we are putting ourselves in containers, whether in a group setting or a one-on-one setting where we are feeling safe to unravel and to really just share whatever is going on for us, soundboard, vent, whatever that looks like. And like I said, unravel, but also come back together again in a space that you feel held and in a space that you feel seen and heard and recognized. So that is one of my deepest intentions with my one-on-one offering, as well as any group offerings that I continue to do. With that, I should also mention that if one-on-one isn't something that you're looking for, I am currently, what is it, we are I think four months into the first cohort of Recalibrate, which is my mastermind for

mother entrepreneurs. I've decided to stop calling it a mastermind though. Instead, it's a mother mind. It is a mother mind for mother entrepreneurs. And in that container, we've been meeting weekly and we literally chat about everything under the sun. The women inside have been so so so engaged and so vulnerable I've been so blessed and constantly just oozing with so much gratitude being able to witness them in their own growth um not just as mothers but also as business owners and just in their own cycles of creation so if a community like that is something you're interested in, I'm going to be dropping more details soon about what the next iteration of Recalibrate is going to look like. I don't know, again, I don't know all the details yet, but I do know I want to

create something like it again in the new year. So if a group, a group mentorship, group mother mind is something on your radar, um, I would love to hear from you and stay connected with you so that you are one of the first to know, um, when, when that officially launches next year. Um, so yeah, that's kind of a quick snapshot of what I have on the go right now. Yeah, I'm super excited about finally opening my calendar up to one-on-one mentorship. That's something that I've actually had a lot of resistance to in the past couple months. It was something, it's actually kind of funny how things kind of go full circle. I remember last November and December when I was creating my mini birth course back in the day when I was identifying as a birth educator. And I created my first digital course and people signed up. successful but I remember just feeling like almost empty and deflated that I wasn't able to connect

with those people that were signing up they were just a person behind the screen doing this passive course on their own and of course in hindsight like I could have set that up completely different I could have ensured that there was some one-on-one time with me kind of like a hybrid option but I didn't and I came out of that with tons of lessons and kind of started the new year saying like okay my heart is in one-on-one work I only want to support women one-on-one for the next couple months and so the beginning the beginning of the year was me offering one-on-one birth coaching, for lack of a better word. And that quickly evolved into all the group offerings that I've since offered. So Recalibrate and Reclaim. And yeah, and of course, the podcast has taken up lots of time too. So it's kind of

funny how here we are ending the year where I want to put my heart back into one-on-one containers again. So anyways, I'm starting to ramble. If you are interested in working with me, I would love to hear from you. So say hi on Instagram. Let's connect. Let's set up a Voxer day so we can chat. Like I said, I'll be in your back pocket. We can have screaming toddlers and barking dogs in the background. And we can just show up messy and we can just show up completely as we are without a filter. And that's truly, I think, just such an important thing to be doing in the online space. There's not enough women doing it. And each time we show up that way, it gives another woman permission to do the same. So with that, I'm going to end it it here I'm going to spend a couple more minutes in my bath before

I go back to momming and like I said I'd love to hear from you so thank you it's also I'm recording this Monday it's Canadian Thanksgiving it's been a beautiful weekend. We celebrated a Friendsgiving with our friends on Friday and then we were with family yesterday and today has just been this very peaceful, quiet day. No big turkey gathering and I'm so grateful for that because I just really needed a quiet day to kind of recenter myself and get back into some of the more businessy stuff. And I lost my train of thought as I went off on that tangent. I think I was just going to say happy Thanksgiving. I don't know. I don't think that's what I was actually going to say. Um, I actually have no idea. Anyways, thanks for coming along on this ride with me I don't know when

you'll hear from me next um so please stay connected on Instagram or join my email list if you aren't already um and hopefully you'll hear from me in this space soon as soon as I stopped hitting record I remembered what I wanted to say and why I went on the tangent of telling you that it was Thanksgiving um in in the spirit of Thanksgiving and in the spirit of reflecting on all that I'm grateful for, as I do every day, I don't need Thanksgiving to write a gratitude list, but I do just want to really declare my gratitude for each of you, whether this is your first time listening or you've been listening since day one. I truly, truly, truly appreciate you. And I have been beyond, beyond blessed for the community that this, this space has started to form. And I really do think that this is just the start. I'm so

excited to see where this goes. And yeah, thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you for being here and thank you for sticking around okay before you go I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode if you were thinking of anyone while listening please send it their way and if anything resonated with you or you love these conversations please subscribe and leave a review this really helps the podcast algorithms put my show in front of more people just like you and the last thing I would love nothing more than hearing from you so say hi dm me on instagram and give me a follow at nicolepasvir until next time