REWILD + FREE - MARRYING PLAYFULNESS AND SERIOUSNESS IN CONSCIOUS ENTREPRENEURSHIP (61)

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Reflecting in real time how an increase in confidence teeters me into taking things "too" seriously and disconnect from my playful, wild, spirited self I discuss how we can marry both playfulness and taking things seriously in our business to harness our most creative, confident and abundant selves and give you the truth about boss babe culture Tune into the end for a tease on my upcoming 100% virtual, no flights needed RETREAT! And listen till the very end for a surprise guest appearnace from my 3 year old LOL Let me know what lands or stirs for you in this one Connect on IG (@nicolepasveer)

You're listening to Rewild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic mother entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance, while creating impact and legacy in their home and business. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pazvir, your like-hearted mom friend and biz bestie wrapped in one. I'm an ex-nurse turned matrescence guide and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm, where thriving in motherhood is your birthright and so is a successful and sustainable online business keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood bro marketing and boss babe culture because in this space we use nature as our framework as we move

towards feminine embodied business development cyclical orientation and slow living together let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters. Okay friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. Okay, so I just got off Instagram stories and I was talking about how I've noticed this like pendulum swing internally as I'm about to show up and create content or even like work on whatever offer that's been gestating and what I was saying is that this pendulum swing is like on the far left is me just noticing all the perfectionism creeping in and wanting things to be a certain way and

wanting things to be figured out. It's not even like about being perfect anymore. I think I've moved through that. It's about like having things figured out and having almost control over, I guess, like the strategy of it and how it's all going to be laid out and like what's going to come next and how it all flows. And yeah, I get myself really attached to this like figure it out energy and the other side of the pendulum is being really vulnerable and I wouldn't say like airing my dirty laundry but that's a fear of mine of almost being too vulnerable to the point of sharing stuff that isn't fully integrated and it not necessarily having like value and me not necessarily gleaning wisdom from it yet because I'm still in the middle of it and I recognize that both of those are extremes and obviously like I'm really intentional about not showing up from those places I'm just being a radical witness to my own inner world as I notice myself kind of flip-flopping and I can see so clearly that like I said they're both they're

both extremes and those extremes are quite harmful because it's self-censoring me and it's a disservice to you and my community because I'm not sharing potential gold and wisdom because I'm too busy trying to, I'm overthinking it, really, I'm overthinking it. And yeah, like I said, just being kind of a radical witness to this experience and knowing that as I bring awareness to it, it gives me an opportunity to make a different choice and kind of break the patterns as I see them happening in real time. And so yeah, I shared all that on Instagram stories and also reflected on literally in real time as I was saying it out loud. Realized that, oh wait, what's actually happening here is this flavor of wanting to reconnect with a playful energy. A playful and innocent energy that I used to be able

to show up online with while also still like taking things seriously because I recognize that like as I continue to learn as an as I continue to just gain more confidence in what I do and who I can serve and like my quote-unquote purpose in this world that confidence teeters me into this like weird pressure of wanting to take things seriously like it makes me not want to fuck up it makes me feel like there's now this like reputation almost to maintain. And I can totally see that I'm putting that on myself. And it's also part of the water we swim in and the societal conditioning that, I mean, has conditioned us to be pretty perfect and pleasing and kind of have our shit figured out before we share it.

And the bro marketing culture of just having like this like perfect strategy and like these perfectly executed funnels and everything's like polished and anyways like I can see all that I can see where it's mine and where it's not mine and what I've kind of just been sitting with is how this this is literally it this is why the old paradigm of business needs to go because it's stripping us from being able to tap into that playful energy it's stripping us from being able to tap into like our wildness and our and our intuitive nature that that we have access to that like creative portal that open clear channel that we have access to when we aren't taking things so seriously because as soon as we're taking things so seriously

it puts us in this like straight and narrow and it like at least for me like it puts me in this energy of like this is how things have to go and I find myself like attaching to outcomes and attaching to timelines and feeling really unsafe to change my mind feeling really unsafe to to pivot or even like jump ship on something and I also recognize that again that's the water we swim in we've kind of been taught to follow through on things and to like push through to finish what you started and yeah that is just such a disservice to our like animal body in the sense of the connection we have with our intuition and the connection that we have to like our creativity and our like body's wisdom because when we're in that like taking it too seriously kind of energy we're basically suppressing that inner voice and saying like no whatever you need right now doesn't matter

because this is where we're going I almost think of it's almost like that like because I said so mother energy right like it's this is what we're doing because I said so and there's no room for flexibility there's no room for play like you're just it's rigid and it's, oh, I can feel like the contraction in my body right now, just like thinking about it. Like it doesn't feel good. And the thing about content and offer creation, when we show up in that energy, that rigidity and that contraction and that almost like stale. Stale is the word that's coming to mind.

That's literally what I'm like feeling right now. It's stale. And that staleness is not magnetic at all. It's not attractive. Like I don't want to hang out with someone that is rigid and stale and taking things so seriously that they're so in their head that they can't even pay attention to what's happening around them. And I put a question box in my stories earlier today asking for people to share what they think of when they think of like bro marketing tactics.

And one of the responses was around consistency and how like in the bro marketing world and by the way the boss babe world is the bro marketing world the boss babe boss babe culture is literally bro marketing with a dress on it I mean so you might hear me using both both terms kind of interchangeably but in yeah the boss boss babe bro marketing world there's this like unspoken rule about consistency and it's not even unspoken it is absolutely spoken it's an obsession with consistency and it's consistency to the point of like sacrificing your own body and consistency to the point of ignoring what's happening around you and not being attuned to your environment and not just like locally but like on a micro and macro level right it's not paying attention or giving space or even like naming some of the greater world events that are happening

and it's like I mean I'm sure as I'm saying this you can think of examples where you've seen this happen right it happens all the time and it becomes so normalized that it's literally what mainstream and so coming back to this this conversation around playfulness and like taking things seriously those of us that are choosing to find play and pleasure in our business are doing things that are really counter-cultural they are not mainstream and so as we're doing them it can potentially feel like oh my god I'm doing something wrong like this isn't going to work and like self-doubt can start flooding in and this is where we start gripping on to other people's strategies and wanting like a proven framework because it doesn't feel safe to play it doesn't feel safe to be flexible and pivot and be impulsive like we we have been taught like that impulsivity

is irresponsible or impulsivity impulsivity and like playfulness is not mature, immature. And we also equate like immaturity and irresponsibility with not having success, right? We equate success with being mature. We equate success with being responsible. And yeah, I just want to name all this out loud because this is literally stuff I'm working on right now where, like I just want to name all this out loud because this is literally stuff I'm working on right now where like I said I'm noticing this pendulum and I'm noticing a bit of a block and showing up online and not out of like not wanting to be seen or anything like that but this own like inner friction of yeah these these two parts of me at odds, wanting to take things serious and also wanting to be playful. And I absolutely do think that there is a way to marry both. I think I

shared this last week in a podcast episode, this like give no fuck energy mixed with deeply giving a shit. And I think that's it, right? It's giving no fucks in the sense of, I don't actually care about other people's perception of me. I don't actually care if they think I'm absolutely crazy for changing my mind again. I don't care if they are making fun of me for, I don't know, like graphics that don't match and like a Google doc for a sales page. Like I don't actually care or give no fucks about what other people are thinking about me and I deeply give a shit I deeply give a shit about the work I'm doing in the world and the people that I can impact and the wisdom that I have to

offer and the ripple that has again on a micro and macro level and so it's this marriage of being really serious about the impact that my my work my wisdom my voice my medicine can have on people and tapping into that like playfulness give no kind of energy where I'm more concerned about myself and my own integrity and my own like inner peace than I am like what's outside of me and if you've hung out with me for any length of time you know that I am a recovering good girl and so and a recovering people pleaser and fawning is absolutely my default nervous system response when I'm activated and so this is an edge for me this is a big edge in recognizing where I'm kind of giving my power away when I'm fawning and trying to appease someone else and trying to like not rock the boat and so this is where that give no fucks energy is really,

really potent for me to tap into. I'm just sharing this because I think it's important to name and I really want to, I don't even know. Again, coming back to that edge around vulnerability where there's a fear that I'm being too vulnerable. I also know that vulnerability is one of my superpowers. And I know that sharing some of the stuff out loud helps to break the cycle of silence that you might be moving through if you are feeling these things too, but haven't been able to share it with someone or haven't had the language to understand it for yourself. And so it is really important to me that I'm sharing this stuff out loud even if in real time I'm kind of finding the wisdom for us as I speak it out that that's my medicine and actually again literally hearing myself say that out loud I'm recognizing I'm a

self-projected projector in human design of course I get wisdom from hearing myself speak out loud so oh gosh that's just a big permission slip for me to keep talking about this stuff keep talking about like my own processes and keep talking about the the friction of my own inner world and the stuff that I'm witnessing internally because yeah there's medicine here for me there's medicine here for you there's medicine here for the collective and so that's all for today I'm so glad you're here if you've been kind of connecting and vibing with some of the stuff I've been sharing lately just around like breaking up with hustle culture and laying like

the boss babe mindset and bro marketing stuff to rest and just kind of untangling self-worth and productivity. I have some very exciting offers coming up. I'm working on a podcast series called Boss Babe Funeral because I know I'm not the only one where even though I haven't identified as a boss babe, I never had that like boss babe era. I stepped into entrepreneurship being very intentional about not showing up to my business in that way and being very intentional about not showing up to my business in that way and being very intentional about not yeah just kind of perpetuating this hustle and grind culture that exists and being very conscious about the way I've built my business thus far I can still feel where like I said it's the water we swim in so even though I'm not needing

to have a funeral for my inner boss babe because she doesn't exist I'm ready to have a funeral for the collective boss babe culture because it still seeps in it still makes me self-doubt myself it still makes me think like oh my my god, like why is this so counter-cultural? Why isn't everyone else talking about this? Why does this feel so crazy? So yeah, stay tuned for that. And then I'm also hosting a fucking retreat in January. I can't believe I just said that out loud. More to come on that. It is totally unconventional no plane tickets needed no accommodations needed because it's all virtual it just feels really really juicy for the time of year and for the women that I'm calling into the container because y'all don't need more training you don't need more

business strategy you don't need really more of anything except for the space to reconnect with yourself and really tend to and nourish and attune to your inner world so we know that our outer world is just a reflection of our inner world so we really need to start focusing on that as our quote-unquote strategy for the success and the abundance and the time freedom and the whatever else you're moving after, whatever you're calling in, it all starts with like those internal shifts. And so I'm really envisioning this retreat being like soul nourishing, regenerative, reparative, expansive. And I keep having this visual of like all these loose threads that I'm sure so many of us have already been working at untangling, right? If you've been

on a self-acclimation journey or a spiritual awakening or any kind of like healing journey, you have all these threads that you've been kind of untangling and now they're just like here ready to be woven into something new and this is what I'm I'm dreaming up for this retreat is is tying these loose ends together and weaving a new reality and yeah just really reclaiming our power and calling in what's ours and moving towards a business and a life with less extraction and less hustle and more play and again marrying that give no fuck kind of energy with deeply giving a shit and when that's fused together what does that mean for a business what does that mean for the type of offers we create what does that mean for the way we market and the way we sell and the way we show up online and so this retreat is not more business

strategy it is for entrepreneurs who are really wanting to attune and tend to their inner world and uncensor their wild woman and their wildness. Because I think that wildness is where we can tap into that playfulness and that portal of creativity. And our wise woman is our inner wild woman. And so we're all wanting more strategy, we're all wanting more wisdom, and we keep looking outside of ourselves for it but really it's in our wild woman for wild woman is a wild woman say that five times fast okay so stay tuned some really exciting things happening in my world and dm me on instagram email me connect with me in some way whatever way feels good for you and let me know if you're excited about these things because it really does help me just stay on track not in a people-pleasing kind of way but in a like like excitement is contagious right and I obviously want you to feed off my excitement

because it's real it's genuine but I also feed off yours so yeah let me know validate me let me know if this stuff is lighting you up as much as it is for me and if it feels like exactly what you need in this season of life and business. Okay, thanks for listening. Do you want to come on Mommy's podcast one day? Yeah. What would you say? Hi. What would you want to talk about?

ABCDs. ABCDs? You'd want to talk about the alphabet? Hmm.