REWILD + FREE - Postpartum care NOT as a luxury but as an essential, with Brittany Zeer

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

There's a massive gap in care for mothers after having a baby. Brittany Zeer, creator of Blissful Womb Care joins me in this episode to discuss the importance of supporting postpartum healing as a way to improve the wellness of not just a family, but the community.She outlines the 5 essentials that every woman should be offered including: Rest, Warmth, Body Care, Nourishment, and Community SupportWe also discuss the Rite of Passage a woman goes through when becoming a mother and how often the Rite of Passage is incomplete; missing the integration of a new beginning and new identity. To properly complete this Rite of Passage, we need social recognition and community care, which is generally lacking in our culture. “Birth is just a blip in timePregnancy is just a blip in timeBut postpartum is foreverYou’ll never not be postpartum again”-Brittany ZeerBrittany reminds us that the postpartum period is forever, not just the 6-12 weeks we are led to believe.  At the time of this recording, I was 18 months postpartum and had the opportunity to experience one of  Brittany's postpartum packages first hand. In this episode, I  debrief my experience including the lessons I learned after processing my birth story with her and  my experience during the Closing of the Bones ceremony. Brittany supports women and mothers with Menstrual Cycle and Fertility Awareness, 1-on-1 Pregnancy Support, Prenatal Yoga, and Postpartum Care. Details on in-person support for those living in the Calgary/Airdrie area can be found here Brittany also has virtual offerings including prenatal yoga and her intimate group container on cycle awareness, called Blissful Cycles Connect with Birttany Zeer on IG @blissfulwombcare Connect with Nicole on IG @nicolepasveerIf you're interested in being a guest on the show, apply hereSupport the showConnect with Nicole on IG (@nicolepasveer) Want to be a guest on the podcast? Fill out this form

If the mother is under-supported and is under-resourced, then there's going to be some dysregulation and some dysfunction with her babies, with her children, with her family system. And over the years, collectively, we have just become more and more and more separate. Welcome to the Not Just a Mom Show, where we have open and honest conversations about the vulnerabilities and the victories within entrepreneurship and new motherhood. If we

haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pazvir and I'm going to be your host. Together, we will uncover versions of our most potent selves, where we show up unapologetically, intentionally, and without filter. We are worthy, just as we are, as all that we are, not just the label we put on ourselves. We are more than just a mom, and I'm so glad you're here. A couple weeks ago, I had both the privilege and the honor of experiencing Brittany Zier's magic. I got to take part in her community care package, which included processing my birth story, a guided meditation, and closing of the bone ceremony. And I'm going to be debriefing some of that in this episode.

But I just wanted to kind of explain how after our session together, we both looked at each other and said like, holy shit, like it was a lot. And immediately it was like, we need to talk about this and let's record it on the podcast. So I'm super excited for you guys to hear a little bit about my experience and to hear a little bit about how Brittany got to where she is and just the magic she's doing in this world. Also, I just wanted to mention that at the end of the episode, Brittany invites all of us into her upcoming virtual offering called Blissful Cycles. And I am happy to announce that I have signed up. I'm super excited as I'm literally a couple days away from my second menstrual cycle postpartum.

I've been searching for just more information and education and support in understanding my cycle a bit more because I think that's something that many of us never got as younger girls and even into early adulthood that's something that I'm working on now so I'm super excited to be part of this container and if you feel the call I would love for you to join me so keep listening this episode is amazing filled with so much magic I hope you can feel it Brittany and I found each other online on Instagram but we actually live in the same city so we've met in real life a couple times and it's been wonderful yeah it's been's been pretty cool. Actually, I remember we met on Instagram right when we were both kind of starting our own Instagram pages, probably about

this time last year, maybe a little bit sooner, like end of winter, beginning of spring. And we kind of chit-chatted and we're excited about that we found each other. And then I went through a whole Instagram detox because my Instagram account got deactivated and I created something new. And then you messaged me a few months ago and you were like, are you the same Brittany? And then the rest is history. I love it. Okay. Let's like jump right into just kind of where you're at now with the work you're doing and the services you offer and how you got into postpartum care. Yeah. So a little bit of background on me.

I have been teaching yoga for about 10 years and prenatal yoga was one of my favorite classes to teach. And during the pandemic, when the world all shut down, I was a full-time yoga teacher at that time. And I went from working and teaching seven days a week to nothing at all. And I tried to transition to the online realm, but that's what everyone was doing. And it was kind of this pivotal moment for me of realizing that, you know, that wasn't really going to be the thing that was going to be sustainable for me a long time. So what else could I do? And around the same time, a few different

catalysts happened that led me to where it is that I am today. One is my sister became pregnant and she wound up having a miscarriage with her first baby. And through that whole process, I realized that like, I didn't know how to support her and no one in our family knew how to support her. This was something that had occurred for most of the women in my family at some point, but was just brushed under the rug. And so when she got pregnant a second time with her second pregnancy, she wanted a little bit extra support. And so I was doing private prenatal yoga with her, but then I really wanted to dive deeper into how can I actually support her? So I started looking into doula courses. I didn't even know what a doula was at that time. I've never been pregnant.

I've never had any babies of my own. I've never been through the birth portal or anything like that. And so it was really important to me. Same with when I did my prenatal yoga training. It was really important to me that I had like a really well-rounded understanding of what was happening so that I could support the women that I was supporting. So I started seeking out a couple of doula programs and right around the same time as well, I got this really loud, aggressive nudge to come off of birth control. And I had been on birth control for 16 years.

And that was the other thing that was a really big catalyst for me. I had been living with chronic pain for about seven years at this time as well. I had had a concussion. So there's lots of similarities in our stories and in many different ways that we might get into a little bit later on. But there was a lot of these different things that were happening in my life. And so I was pulled into this course called Journey into the Womb. And for those of you who don't know, my business is called Blissful Womb Care. And at this time in 2020, when I was pulled into, it felt like, like I literally couldn't leave this woman's website without registering for this course. And one of the questions on

the like application and intake form is what is your relationship to the womb? And I very candidly said, I was like, honestly, the word makes me cringe. Like it's, it's such a, you know, like such a woo woo word. Like, I don't, I don't really know about it, but like, I can't leave this website without registering for this. And I didn't understand why. Um, but now I do because that was the beginning of my journey into my womb and the creation of Blissful Womb Care. And so those two things were kind of happening simultaneously where I began taking some doula courses online. Everything was online and self-paced and self-directed and this journey into the womb. And that changed everything in my life. And I'll just quickly touch on this right here while we're here, because it's where I learned it in the journey into the womb course. I learned that the word woo woo that we use to label anything and everything that is alternative or witchy or hippie or like not mainstream that we call woo-woo, woo-woo actually means woo. I was like, oh my God, everything makes sense

because all of that stuff that we label to be woo-woo is earth-based, it's feminine-based, it's all of like the intuition, this connection. And so that really shapes my framework. And so I've had a real reframe around the word womb, obviously, because it's now part of my business name. So fast forward to when my sister gave birth and I was just completing up these doula programs and I was doing a full spectrum doula course through Doula Canada, where I was studying to be a birth and postpartum doula as well as fertility as well. But one of the primary things, one of the primary catalysts in this experience in supporting my sister was throughout her whole pregnancy, we were planning for a physiological unmedicated birth. We'd have the conversations around that, you know, there might be a possibility for some of these interventions to be needed. And we'll just, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But her goal was that she wanted to have a medicated physiological birth. And she went 11 days overdue and they did,

they did an ultrasound and realized that her baby was breached and he was about nine pounds and she needed to have a cesarean. And so through this whole experience, both of, both of our experience, this is my first person that I was supporting. Um, and for her, it wasn't, we knew that it was a possibility, but didn't really know much about that. And so it was really confronting for both of us. And so I was out there staying with her and her husband leading up to the pregnancy. And then I was going to be there postpartum as well, because they live in rural Alberta. And when they came home from the hospital, I realized I didn't know anything about supporting someone after a cesarean. There was virtually nothing touched on it in my postpartum doula course or, and like in the birth portion, the only thing

really that was touched on when it came to supporting cesareans is it was, it was really, really minimal. And so I felt so unprepared. I felt so under resourced in a way that here I was to be here to support her and I didn't know anything. And then I became to be really confronted just with everything else. It was that I was learning as well. Like it was very clinical in a lot of ways and there's not anything that's wrong with that, but that didn't really resonate with me. And I also realized that part of the reason why I was called into birth work was from a place of saviorship. Like I could see the distortions in the medical system and I wanted to come in and protect women from all of the horrible things that I was seeing and hearing about. And so through that whole process, I came to kind of like this mini dark night of a soul

a couple months later, because I had created, I had created a brand at that time, it was Blissful Doula Care. I had created a website I had branding done I had Instagram I had all this sort of stuff but I also had a lot of imposter syndrome and that imposter syndrome was coming from just that I just didn't feel resourced and prepared everything it was that I was learning felt really surface level and um so I didn't I didn't know what to do. And I was in this place where I kept being told, just put yourself out there. You'll learn along the way you'll learn along the way. And that also didn't feel good for me. It didn't feel right. So one night in December of 2021, I kind of like had this catalyst moment where I just, I sat in front of my altar and I cried and

I was like, I need a teacher. I need a community. I need something because I just, I sat in front of my altar and I cried and I was like, I need a teacher. I need a community. I need something because I know that I am called to support women and mothers, but what it is that I have done all of the time and money and resources that I have put into these previous courses, it didn't fit. And I woke up the next morning to an ad on my Instagram page for innate postpartum care. And it was an instant, immediate, full body. Yes. And for those of you who don't know, innate postpartum care was created by Rochelle Garcia Saliga. And she's a traditional midwife based out of New Mexico. And she did most of her training in Mexico. And through her own experience, through her own postpartum experience, she saw this massive,

this massive gap in how it is that we care and tend for women in the postpartum time. And she shares about this in her training and on her social media that she was so angry that there wasn't anything out there. And then she got this message, this message of like, well, if there's nothing out there, then I need to be the one to create it. So she created innate postpartum care in 2015 and was traveling around all over doing in-person trainings. And then she transitioned to online in 2018, I believe. And so this course that popped up on my Instagram feed, I wasn't following Rochelle at the time. I wasn't aware of her work or anything like that. But again, as soon as I saw it, I went on the website. It was this full body. Yes. And then came in the fear of, how am I going to afford this? This is a nine month training. I just

finished all of this other training. Is this really going to be the thing that I should do? There was so much that I was confronted with to the point where like, I would ask multiple times a day, like, is this the right thing to do? And I kept getting, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Like before I could even finish asking the question, my intuition, my womb, my whole body system was saying yes. Um, so I took the plunge and I was in that training last year from March until December and it changed my whole entire life. Rochelle's approach is based on the physiological design and is rooted in cross-cultural postpartum care traditions. So looking at cultures from all over the world since the beginning of time and how they all have their own traditions, but it's all rooted

in the same five essentials, which is rest, warmth, body care, nourishment, and community support. And so when we look at the physiological design of a female body as a postpartum female body, these are all of the things that are required to support healing. And we can see clearly that women haven't been receiving this kind of care for a long time, for generations. And really since the beginning of modern medicine and when birth was moved from home births and midwifery care to hospital births in the early 1900s. And so when we can look at that women have been isolated and have been lacking support and they've been lacking nourishment and they've been lacking care, we can see how the ripple effect of that flows into the collective. Because if the

mother is under supported and is under resourced, then there's going to be some dysregulation and some dysfunction with her babies, with her children, with her family system. And over the years, collectively, we have just become more and more and more separate. And there has been less and less and less care and acknowledgement of mothers. So this lit a real fire under my butt of, okay, I can see this really clear gap in what it is that I am called to do and how it is that I'm called to support mothers. And, um, you know, like most postpartum doulas, and this was what was in my postpartum doula course as well, was like, you know, you go into the house and help with a little bit of light housework, or maybe a little bit of meal prep and here are some breastfeeding positions and all of that.

Again, it was, it was fairly surface level and this isn't to bash on birth or postpartum doulas in any way, shape or form. Like your role in your job is so important and is so crucial. And, you know, birth is just a blip in time. Pregnancy is just a blip in time, but postpartum is for forever. You will never not be postpartum again, whether you have a miscarriage, whether you have an abortion, whether you have a live birth

or whether you have a stillbirth, like physiologically, your body goes through a massive shift and there is a huge lack in support for that. And so that is why I have been called to expand and create blissful womb care. And I shifted from blissful doula care to blissful womb care. When I got deactivated from Instagram, because I made a post on the magical organ of placenta, and apparently I went against community guidelines. And in an instant, everything that I had created disappeared. But really, that was a huge gift for

me, because I realized through that process that I was trying to be like everyone else. And I think this is why you and I connect in so many ways as well, because I kept trying to be like everybody else. And that wasn't working for me. I didn't know what my own voice was. I didn't know what my own flavor was. I didn't know how I was supposed to show up in the world. And I only had something like 250 followers or something at the time. Like I was

really small potatoes. And the whole time I had been so careful about what it was that I was saying and to like, you know, like not ruffle any feathers and just like keep myself small so that I can stay safe. And that was a huge catalyst for me. And so I did, I did a rebrand, I did a reframe. And when I came back and started to roll out what it is that I now offer to people, um, it is, it is from my, from my own voice and I draw on the inspiration of my teacher and the women and mothers in my life. Um, but yeah, blissful womb care is really kind of my own. It's my baby. So that's kind of where I got to be where I am today. I love hearing your story. I've heard parts of this before, and it is just so inspiring

to hear it all kind of said at once. Literally, I was just listening and like, just like mesmerized by hearing you just reflect and expand. And like, I can feel the energy shift as you're sharing parts of your story. And that is just so, so cool. One thing that I wanted to mention before we continue on with our conversation is when you were referencing the five essentials. Yeah. Yeah. And can you remind me of them again? Because I don't want to.

Rest, warmth, body care, nourishment, and community support. So when I hear those, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like five, yes. Every time you say it, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And so for me personally, in my own pregnancy, I did a ton of birth prep. I did not do a ton of postpartum prep. And I think that's a very common narrative for a lot of people, unfortunately. But I think the bigger thing for me was even though I would have wanted all five of those things, I wasn't in a place where I could receive. And so even though I had done some preparations and I had even hired postpartum doula support. And although maybe things were a bit more superficial, I think

she was willing to go deeper with me, but I wasn't in a place where I could accept it. I felt weak. I didn't want people to see me as weak. I thought I had to do what I do in every other instance of my life and that's just do better and do more and overachieve and exceed the expectations that I'm perceiving that people have of me and so my postpartum experience was no different than every other aspect of my life and so to hear you remind me of the importance of those five had together and how we've actually connected in person and some of the what I call postpartum redemption you've given me. Before we get into that, I just want to honor and acknowledge you for having the awareness, you know, you might not have had the awareness at the time that you weren't open to receive, but to have the awareness now, because that is weren't open to receive, but to have the awareness

now, because that is something that I see and hear all too commonly. There's a few different things that come up for people when it comes to, especially postpartum care. One is, you know, women are expected to just do, do, do, do, do all the time and to do it with a smile on your face and never show weakness. And because we are the givers of life and the givers of everything, we have such a challenging, challenging time receiving. So I know that you are not alone in that experience. The other thing that comes up for so many people as well is viewing, especially postpartum care as a luxury, because it's something that again, women haven't received for generations. My grandma never received this. Like when I told my grandma and my grandma was a

nurse, she did prenatal classes. Like she was very involved in the community. She lived rural, you know, all that sort of stuff. When I told her that I was going to be doing this course, she was like, why? I never had anything like that. Like also who is this midwife? Like what authority does she have? What's her training? All of that sort of stuff. And so I knew to not take that personally,

obviously, that, you know, that was her own experience. But I see this so often in the women that I support and the women who desire the support. And when they reach out and they ask for it, and they're open to receiving it, and they see how potent and powerful this is, and that the lies that they have been told by their family and friends and society and they share their experience of it, they often get backlash as well because it is viewed as a luxury. Well, I never had that. I did it all on my own. I didn't have any support. I don't know why you're having such a hard time. It doesn't make sense. And so they get gaslit and shamed and guilted. And there's so much distortion around all of that. And so a really big piece of

my work now too, is just allowing others to reclaim this for themselves, to illuminate the distortions it is that we have been told, and also to hold space for the grief. Because there's so, so, so much grief, whether you are one year postpartum and you didn't have this experience in your early postpartum time, or whether you are 30 years postpartum or 50 years postpartum or anything of that sort, there is so much grief because as women start to reclaim this and remember and have these powerful experiences, it illuminates to others that they didn't have that. And that needs to be felt. And so before I dive deeper into talking about my services and my offerings and the experience in supporting the early postpartum time, because

when we can support women and mothers in this very early postpartum time, like the first 40 days, the first six weeks that can lay the foundation for lifelong health and wellbeing. But if you didn't receive this in your early postpartum time, it's not too late to receive any of these things that I'm about to share about because really it's just rooted in what is required for thriving life in general. I embody and integrate all of these practices myself in how I support myself in my menstrual cycle. I have poured all of this into my mom who is 30 years postpartum, 36. She had 36 years postpartum from her first, um, you know, to, to you who you're, you're 18 months when you received my care and anyone and everyone in between.

So don't think that it is too late for you because it's not. And you received my care and anyone and everyone in between. So don't think that it is too late for you because it's not. I'm glad you added that in because I think a lot of people do still just think of postpartum as being this six week or 12 week or maybe sixmonth period. And I think that's something that we really need to shift collectively in our understanding of postpartum care or postpartum in general, not even the care, just postpartum, like you are postpartum forever. Once you go through the massive transition that birth takes you through, you can't go back. And with that said, do you want to quickly speak on the rites of passage? Yeah, absolutely. So there's three stages to the rite of passage into motherhood and rites of passage have been practiced cross-culturally since the beginning of time to mark a major transition in someone's life, whether it's male or female. But birth is this

beautiful physiological experience of a rite of passage. So, or the transition into motherhood is rather. We often think that birth itself completes the rite of passage, but birth is actually only the second stage of the three rites or the three stages of the rite of passage. So the first stage is separation or ending, and that can be related to pregnancy because as you become pregnant and you grow this tiny little human in your body. That is a miracle. It's an absolute miracle that your body can do that. Your whole identity begins to shift and fall away. The way that you interact with people, your lifestyle, what you eat, how you move, what you drink, everything in your life begins to shift and transition. And it's really, really confronting for a lot of people. Not only are you going through this physical transformation

as you expand more and more and more every day, but your relationships are going to change. Many people are often confronted with inner child wounding, with mother wounding, their relationships, whether it's with friends or family or partners, also begin to change. And this will continue to transform into postpartum as well. So pregnancy, the separation or ending is like a metaphorical death. The maiden who you have been is dying. She is leaving. And there will always be parts of who you were that will come forward in this process, but so much of who you have been is changing. So that's the first stage. The second stage is a transition or initiation. And this is the portal of birth. And however you birth your baby, whether it's vaginally or

through cesarean, you are more open than you have ever been in your entire life. And you are going through a portal. This is an initiation. This is the transition. And you can have all of the support in the world. You can have a doula, you can have the best midwife or the best OB team, whoever it is, you can, you can free birth at home. However it is that you birth your baby and the support network that you have around you, no one else can birth that baby for you, but you. So this experience is yours and yours alone. And so birth is that second stage. And then the third stage is the return or the new beginning. And that is indicative of postpartum time, because here you are now, you are, you have gone through this birth portal. You are now a mother, but who you don't, you don't know who you are. You don't know who this new being, who this new identity is. And that in and of itself is super confronting as well.

And so to complete this rite of passage, it requires social recognition and community support. Something that has been lacking for generations. Again, circling back to that. How many women have experienced social recognition and community support? It's just this thing that you do. Okay. You had a baby. So what, you know, everyone is excited when you're pregnant and you know, the, there's so much of this prep for birth, like what you just, what you just heard about all of this birth prep, all of this pregnancy prep, but like, no one thinks about what happens afterwards. So people like to come over in the

first couple of weeks afterwards, usually expecting the mother to continue to dote on them as they are guests in her house. And then, and then leave without, and just think, well, everyone does this. Everyone has gone through this without any of this acknowledgement that who she was is no longer and she doesn't know who she's becoming. Oh, so interesting. Again, just reflecting on my own experience and that social recognition and community piece. I've said this before and I had a village, right? I had hired postpartum support. I have close by friends and family. I have my mother who literally at the time only lived 10 minutes away and wasn't working and was technically available to help me whenever I needed. And again,

it just takes me back to not being able to receive their help because of this feeling of weakness or inadequacy if I let them help. And I think that stems from this cultural belief of needing to bounce back and get back to our old way of being. And when I hear you describe the three parts of the rite of passage, like you said, a lot of people think it stops at birth. And no, like really, it sounds like that third piece is the most important, because if we don't move through that properly, we are constantly going to be in this cycle of trying to get back to our previous self and always feeling incomplete because we don't feel like ourselves anymore. And I think if it was actually normalized that, hey, you're supposed to become a different person. Birth is supposed to change you. Maybe people wouldn't be feeling so lost and so overwhelmed and so inadequate and so lonely.

Yeah. And that reminds me of one more little piece that I want to add, and this will be such a beautiful segue into our experience together. The other part of completing this rite of passage is to go back and harvest the wisdom from your birth. Whatever your birth experience was, and many have traumatic birth experiences. And this isn't to bypass what that experience is. It's to return back to that time and space and see how that shifted you and how that changed you. And what are the gifts that you can take from that experience that will shape your mothering journey going forward? I'm like smiling so big, because it's just taking me right back to our time together last week. And so I guess let's start talking about it.

So you had invited me to be a case study participant. Is that, is that what I was called? Yeah. Yeah. You were, you were a case study. So for my certification for this postpartum care course, um, I needed to do two case studies on postpartum women and then one case study on myself. And so in the creation of, okay, now I have all of this wisdom. Now I have all of these resources. What is it that really lights me up? Um, and how, how do I really feel called to support women? Um, so I'll just speak briefly about my offerings and then we'll, we'll go into, you know, like how it called to you and what the experience was for you. So I have created three specific postpartum care packages. The first one

is the rest, warmth and body care package. And that's where I come into your home. I create a sacred, safe, restful space for you to rest undisturbed, however you need to, however you want to. I can be there to tend to the baby. I can deliver you food and tea and snacks while you're in bed. And then for the warmth and the body care options, those kind of go hand in hand. We'll do, we'll do some work kind of like castor oil packs or a warming oil massage or an herbal bath, something that is creating warmth in your body, but that is also nourishing for your body as well. Then I also offer yoga or gentle movement or meditation, anything to kind of come back into your body, wherever it is that you're feeling.

So that's the rest, warmth, and body care package. With that package as well, I also bring in some nourishment. So I have some menu options, which goes into my next package, which is my nourishment care package, where I have created a long list of menu options from breakfast and broth and soups to dinner, to batch cooking, to snacks and desserts and teas and all of that. I love cooking food is my love language. I love pouring nourishment into other people. And because this is such a key piece that is lacking for so many people, um, that's something that I love to offer. So I will bring in, in the rest forms and body care package, I'll also bring in your choice the farmer's market or health food store, or I love to support local farmers as well. So I'll go out and get, I'll go out to the farms and pick up these ingredients as well. And then I come into

your home and cook four to six of these menu options. And you can either just be in bed or resting or doing whatever it is that you want. You can come and chat with me in the kitchen, but basically I'm there. I come in, I take over your kitchen, I nourish you, and I leave you with all of the goodies, all of the goodness. And then the final piece, which is what I'm so grateful that you were excited to try with me and do the case study with me on is the community support package. And so the community support package is where I come in, again, we create this sacred safe space for you to share your birth story. And we go all the way back to preconception, talking about what your experience was preconception around pregnancy, and then coming into your birth story.

And I just sit there and hold the space for you to share whatever it is that you need to share. After that is complete, we'll do a grounding practice of some sort that might be just going outside and putting the feet on the earth. That might be going for a walk. That might be some yoga or movement. And then I will guide you through a birth integration meditation. And following that, we do the closing of the bones ceremony. So for those of you who don't know, closing of the bones is a cross-cultural tradition that has been practiced, again again since the beginning of time in many many cultures many traditions and more commonly in North America we know of it as coming from Mexico but it also comes

from there's in Morocco and in Russia and all over the world they do a very similar practice. So we use, I use what is called a rebozo. And that comes from Mexico. It's a handmade woven cloth. It's like, it's basically like a really big shawl. And the rebozo actually came over with the Spaniards. And the indigenous people of Mexico used a very similar cloth before the Spaniards came in before colonization, but the rebozo came from the Spaniards and the Spaniards actually got it from the Arabs. So this goes way, way, way back. So I use this rebozo

over seven parts of your body. And it's this closing in, it's this coming back in together because you have been in this extremely expansive state and the pelvis will actually stay in an open birthing position. If you don't receive some sort of body work, some sort of pelvic care, something that is like bringing your body back together. So the closing of the bones is not only energetically closing you back up from your experience of pregnancy and birth, but it's also physiologically working on bringing your body back together. So we work through from the head all the way down the body to the feet, crossing this over, holding it tight. And, um, and that's the closing of the bones ceremony. And so then after that, we do a little bit of a debrief on

what your experience was and that's that. And so I'm so grateful that I got to offer that to you. And I would love to hear hearing you describe what that package offers, it's like, the words still don't do it justice. Like, okay, so you're gonna let me tell my birth story, you're gonna guide me through a meditation, and then you're gonna wrap this shawl around me in seven places, right? Like when you just like hear it like that, it's like, okay. So we both thought, hey, let's like actually debrief this and record and let my listeners hear just a little bit about what I went through in that whole journey and just explain like how important this process is. So maybe I will just preface this by saying like, I had no idea what to expect. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I had read your website. I knew what you were including, but in terms of where I would be at emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, in terms of like what I would feel open to share in terms of what I was feeling in my body. Like I had no idea what to expect. And in preparation for that day, I just thought, you know what? Like I trust Brittany, I'm going to let her lead. And

I'm going to trust that whatever comes up is there for me to process. And one of the coolest things is when you came over that day we started talking about our maternal lineage and I had discussed with you how that kept coming up for me that week and some discomfort I was feeling about the mystery of my own maternal lineage for people that don't know, my mom was adopted and we don't have a relationship with her adoptive or biological family. So I really don't know much about my mom's family other than my mom. Like it really, in terms of like the family tree, it kind of ends there in my mind. And yeah, all week I was just having some discomfort around that and just feeling a big sense of mystery and unknown. And so coming into our experience together, we kind of started talking about that.

And I really didn't know why I was coming up. I didn't know why I was sharing that with you. And then we moved through the three parts of the package that you include. And it was really cool because at the very end, I mean, I'm going to go through tons of the lessons I took from this, but one of them was that I don't need to know and that we are rooted in this intricate root system. And for me, I was envisioning that my ancestors and my maternal lineage is this intricate root system. And that root system is supposed to be unseen. There's a reason it's underground. But that root system and the power of all of my ancestors who I don't even need to know anything about is what makes me me. And so me being above ground and just like

the power and the force that comes with that. And so for me, I just experienced so much peace once I kind of had that realization. And that comes back to another theme that came up as we were working through some things. And so when I was sharing my birth story with you, I had made a comment about how during birth, during transition specifically, I felt for the first time that I was actually in my body. And I've spent basically all of my life just being a walking head. I've been stuck in my head. I'm a very logical thinker. I was always praised for my logical thinking. And so birth for me was truly the first time that I was completely without a doubt in my body.

And that scared the shit out of me. I remember walking away from birth and I had, I haven't actually shared my birth story on this show yet, but I ended up having a beautiful home water birth and on paper it was picture perfect. It was exactly how anyone would probably plan a home water birth supported by midwives and a doula and my husband. So I had kind of walked away from birth telling myself that, hey, this is the birth that everyone wants. This is a good thing. I couldn't have asked for anything better, but I couldn't help but feel really shaken up and almost distressed by how perfect it was. And I feel like saying that out loud, like that might not make sense to anyone. But for me, what I realized in our time together and just through processing was that I was scared of my own power and I was

scared of if I could do that, like what else could I do? Like, and I've never felt that way before. So yeah, it was very confronting and it's taken me almost 18 months to recognize how uncomfortable that was. And then, yeah, again, through the meditation, it just became clear to me that that power, one, it's okay to be scared of it, but two, I can use it for good and I can use it to truly mother from my center and rise up and be a leader in my community and be a leader in my family. Because the other thing that was coming up in sharing my birth story with you was feeling a really big disconnect with my husband. And I've made comments like this before, and I'm not sure if he's gonna hear this, but to be quite honest,

it almost felt like he was just a piece of furniture in the room. And I've held onto a lot of guilt that it was my fault because I didn't prepare him. I did tons of birth preparation myself. I knew what to expect. I knew what kind of sounds I was gonna make during an unmedicated birth. I knew what to expect. I knew what kind of sounds I was going to make during an unmedicated birth. I knew what things were going to look like.

And I didn't do a good job of preparing him. And I've held on to that being my fault because in our relationship, I do often take the initiative when it comes to researching and kind of preparing for stuff like this. So up until Friday, when we got to process some of this, I was just feeling this really big disconnect. And I was carrying this guilt and this judgment on myself that I didn't do a good job having him understand what was going to happen. And from the conversations I've had from him, he does feel scared. Like he felt scared during birth and he's actually acknowledged that he doesn't even remember parts of it. And that breaks my heart to hear because I remember it like it was yesterday.

And yeah, so just recognizing that this whole time I was carrying the weight of that. But again, through our time together, it made me realize that no, like through my power and through my strength, it actually is up to me to lead our family. Because I think where the disconnect was coming was me thinking like, well, why didn't he take more initiative? Like, so part of it was the guilt I was holding, but the other half was like, why didn't he take more initiative? And why didn't he try to do more and try to learn more and know how to support me? And I mean, that's a two-sided thing, right? Like men especially thinking that it was the birth of Aubrey that was the catalyst to that disconnect. And really, it was me. And I think I also talked to you about this bubble that I was kind of envisioning during my birth. And I had put wall and that bubble. Because, yeah, I already mentioned kind of mothering from my center and carrying this leadership role that, again, has brought me a ton of peace.

Because up until now, really, like, I've been thinking that there's something wrong with us and something wrong with our relationship. And, of course, just letting my mind kind of spiral and thinking, this isn't good. This isn't where I thought we would be. Why didn't we prepare? Like so many people talk about a baby coming in and it either like breaks a relationship or it makes it that much stronger. And I definitely wouldn't say that our relationship is broken by any means, but I definitely didn't feel like we were on the other side of the spectrum either, where we came out stronger. And and again I was just having a really hard time processing that so I think one of the lessons I got from processing my birth with you

was just that it's okay and it's safe for me to take that leadership role um and that really like as women like we are supposed to lead our families, like the feminine, like it's tricky because I think part of me was thinking, well, I'm supposed to lean into my feminine energy and I'm supposed to just receive, and I'm supposed to just let him initiate and take on this more masculine role and have this masculine energy. And I think it's very easy to almost romanticize that. And anyways, I don't know. Do you have anything to add to this before I continue on? I do. I do. I love that all this is coming up and you shared most of this with me in

our debrief, but I love that I'm having this come through now. So there's a few different pieces around partner support that I think is really important to acknowledge. First and foremost, in our modern day time, we are now expecting men to be at our births, to be at the births, to be the primary support system, to know all the nurturing things to do, to know how to show up, to know how to show up not only in birth, but also in postpartum as well. However, men don't have the innate wisdom that women do. So they have their own innate wisdom, but when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, and mothering, and knowing how to support their partners, they don't have this

within them because since the beginning of time, women have supported women. Women have attended other women's births. Men have always been the providers. They have been the hunters. They have always been the ones who lead the home. They have always had a very different relationship with parenting, with fathering, with adjusting to this postpartum time. And birth and postpartum rocks relationships to the core. It does because it's also illuminating to you so much within yourself that you didn't really want to look at. So now in this modern time, we're putting all of this expectation on the men to show up in this way. And then we're disappointed

when they can't, or they don't know how, or they don't know how to hold the space, or they're just furniture in the room or anything like that. Right. Like I get it. And, and really like that is, that is kind of the way that men are in, in a lot of senses. And that's not bad. Like they have their own roles as well, but to put this expectation on them to show up and to know how to show up, to know how to do this. And you could have prepared him until you were blue in the face. Like you could have sat there and it, and it might've helped. But again, like his experience is so different than your experience because you have this innate wisdom within him. And there probably hasn't been a man in his lineage who has experienced what it was that he experienced. So another piece, and I'm offering this to you right now as well, like if you ever want to go through this process

again and include him as a part of that too, I would love to create that and hold that space for you. Because another piece that I offer with the community care package is to invite your partner or someone else who is a primary support person to be there to witness you, to see you, because that is a component of the social recognition. I am offering this community support, but I'm only one person. And so I can come in and share all of this and hold this space for you, but then you're still going back into all of your primary relationships. So I really love to do the closing of the bones, especially with having someone else on the other side of the rebozo to kind of as this transfer of care. So just putting that out there, if you ever want to come back and do that again with Dylan present, I would, I would love to

create that space for you. There was another piece. Oh, the other piece around being the leader of your family and the difference between the masculine and the feminine dynamics. I had this come through in my relationship a few months ago about, um, I guide my partner, but I allow him to take the lead. And there's something different around that as well. Like you can be the leader of your family. And as the matriarch of your family, like you, you are like the matriarch, the mother of the family really is the, really is the center of the family. And this is why postpartum care is mother-centered care. Because if the mother isn't supported, then the rest of the family isn't supported. If the mother is supported, the baby is well taken care of, her husband's well taken care of, the rest of the family unit is taken care of of and that ripples out into the collective. So you are the leader of your own family and you can guide your partner. You can

guide your husband by dripping these things on him and showing him the ways that you want to be tended to and the ways that you want to be cared to and allow him to take the lead. Because sometimes men have challenges with being led as well. And like, when I shared that with my partner, I was like, yeah, you know, like I guide you, but I let you take the lead. He's like, what the fuck does that mean? Like, what are you talking about? Because he loves to be the leader, right? Like he's always the one who drives the car. He's always the one the leader, right? Like he's always the one who drives the car. He's always the one that leads the hikes. He's always the one, you know, like he's my protector, he's my safe person, all of that. But like, I really, I really am the front

of the relationship. And like, that's not in a toxic kind of way. That is is that is me owning my divine feminine power and when it's from that place as well like he wants to follow and he wants to take the lead so I just wanted to add that little piece in there too I love that distinction between guiding and leading and so back to my own experience I guess it's not so much about taking on this leadership role. It's taking on this role as guide and having trust in my power, like understand actually mother in my center and in alignment with all the things that make me, me, that is going to bleed onto him and it's going to ripple out to our family and it's going to ripple out to our community. And I think that's

something that I've been really scared of. And I think in these past 18 months, I remember saying, I don't even recognize myself anymore. And Dylan often making comments about just tell me what you need. Just tell me what you need, right? He's looking for guidance. And for myself, just not having the words, but not because I truly didn't know what I need. Although I think that was part of it, especially early on. It's taken me a while to actually start being able to identify my own needs. But now that I can, or at least now that I'm getting better at it, it's almost feeling scary to voice those needs because I feel like I've become such a different version of myself that what if he doesn't love this version? And again, I think everything that we processed and for me, like I was able to come out of that whole experience without those fears. I was just flooded with peace that no, I'm supposed to reclaim this power. I'm supposed to own this power. I'm supposed to use my voice. I'm supposed to let him see me and then the ripple is just going to happen if I let it

right like if I keep letting fear get in the way then it's going to continue to make this disconnect even bigger and it's going to make that bubble between us that I'd love to I'd love to hear about this wisdom right like and these are this is the wisdom that I talk about these are the gifts that I talk about that we can harness when given the opportunity and the space to be seen to be witnessed in a safe space where there is no judgment right like it Like it's just, this is authentically, and I honor you in speaking this out loud in this way as well, because this is all extremely vulnerable. This whole journey, this whole process, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum is the most vulnerable that you will ever be. And most people, most women don't know what their

needs are. Like what you just said, like you, you didn't know it has taken you a long time to even begin to identify your needs. So lots of times there are people who are lined up ready and waiting to pour into you, but one, are you open to receive that? And two, do you know what it is that is actually going to support you and actually going to nourish you? And a lot of times it really is just trial and error too, right? Because you, because you oftentimes don't know. Yeah. And I think a lot of it too, is this resist, like, I think as women collectively, we are meeting this resistance because of the conditioning from society right we've been taught we kind of already talked about this

earlier in this in this call together is that like we've been taught to just bounce back and to go back to how things were and that like accepting care means you're weak or you're not doing something well enough and so when we have that kind of in the back of our minds it just makes it even harder to just like surrender to the feminine power within us and I think it's one of those things that you kind of already said that, unless there's actually space for someone to process this, specifically like their birth story and the lessons that come from the birth, if people aren't given that space and the experience to actually be seen and heard, I don't really think this is something that you

can just come to on your own. Like, I think you could journal to the cows come home and it still wouldn't be enough. I think there's power in the social recognition in the community. And I think, yeah, so I guess like, if anyone would listen to anything I have to say, it's find yourself a Brittany. Like if you aren't local to us and you can't hire Brittany yourself, find yourself a Brittany and find yourself a safe person that you can actually process your birth with. Because there is so much magic and I think it might even be wise to do it more than once. Yeah, I think so. And thank you for saying that.

And back to the social recognition and the community piece, like that is what completes this rite of passage. And we go through so many different rites of passage as well, right? Like the menstrual cycle can be seen as a rite of passage, the way that you are launching your podcast and the evolution of your business, right? Like you have gone through the death and the separation and the transition and the initiation. And now here you are in this new beginning as well. There's so many different ways that we go through rites of passage. It's just that pregnancy, birth and postpartum is physiologically in our physiological design,

right? It is a part of. It it is so cool I think we could probably do a whole other episode on the parallels between this experience with entrepreneurship and all the things but yeah oh it's just so cool I'm just constantly taking in so much when I have conversations with you. It's beautiful. I love to hear that. One other piece that I don't think that I, yeah, one other thing that I don't think that I mentioned as part of the community care package, which I love what you said too. So I also offer like the snack or snack tea or broth as part of the community care package too. When we were in our debrief after

this, and I asked, you know, like, do you feel complete? And he said, I feel more than complete. All I knew was that I was getting cake. I didn't really know anything else. And so that's also how I weave in the five essentials into all of my offerings as well, right? Like there's the element of the rest. There's the element of the warmth, like even just from the sunshine, like when we were standing outside receiving the sunshine, the body care was the rebuttal, the nourishment through the lemongrass, ginger, chicken broth that I made and the ginger cake and then the community support right like it it ties all of that in too yeah it's perfect it's absolutely perfect I forgot to mention so when we did the closing of the bones ceremony um that was interesting because

my 18 month old um wanted to be. And this was also cool because you, before we started, you said that it's not uncommon for baby's children to have feelings about this. And it was really interesting to watch Aubrey interact with me while you were doing it. So just so people understand, basically I was laying down in my living room and Brittany would use the rebozo on the seven parts, basically starting at my head and down to my feet. And so when she first covered the top of my head and my eyes, Aubrey came over and of course wanted to play peekaboo, where's mom but as Brittany kept going like I wouldn't say that Aubrey was scared but there was definitely a shift and you kept verbally

affirming to her that everything's okay this doesn't change anything between you and mommy this doesn't change anything between you and mommy and This doesn't change anything between you and mommy. And I really appreciated that because I think as much as you were telling her, it was also important for you to tell me because during that whole process, and I did share this with you in our debrief on Friday, but during that whole process, what was coming to me was feeling my edges for the first time in 18 months. Aubrey and I still co-sleep. I'm still breastfeeding her. And my entire mothering journey so far, I've had a really hard time identifying where I stop and she starts. And my understanding is that's totally normal, especially in the early days. Biologically, that's how we're designed and that's how I keep her safe and that's how she survives. And it's really, really cool.

What I didn't expect is for those feelings to still be so strong 18 months later. And so anyways, as you were wrapping and holding me tightly in each of these seven spots, it was like, oh, wow, like, there I am. That's where my edges are. And not in this, like, I'm separate from Aubrey, but just, like, coming home to myself. And I don't know how else to explain it other than, again, just the sense of peace and the sense of courage and just actually feeling comfortable reclaiming that power. So, so cool. Like words can't describe how cool it was. One other thing that I want to share and kind of touch on as well, because as we talk about the medicine that comes through and these ceremonies and the sacred space and all of that, it also was pretty chaotic because that's your life, that's your reality, and that's what the mothering journey is. So when I was guiding you through the meditation, like it was hilarious. I had this, I I've recorded the meditation now in the meditation, the recorded meditation will also go to anyone who does this with me so that you can return back to

it at any point. But Nicole was sitting in a chair in this meditation and I'm guiding her through this visualization and she has Aubrey climbing all over her and she has the dog wanting to play and dropping balls in her lap and we're laughing and you know there's this part of me like my ego part that is like she's not going to get anything from this meditation because like this is completely chaotic right now and I think I just kept going and we just kept going. And it was the same experience when we were doing the closing of the bones too. Like Crosby kept coming and dropping the ball on you and he was licking my face and Aubrey's climbing all over you. And

you know, like, yeah, we like, we like to envision that we can create this like silent, peaceful, blissful space. And I feel like that you were able to receive the medicine and the wisdom from that experience. In a midst, all of that is just such a testament to how you have worked on regulating your nervous system, on how present of a mother you are, on how you are able to still find these places within yourself and go deep. Like I was so surprised to hear about how deep you were able to go in that meditation. Afterwards, I was like, yeah, this girl, she's got it.

Like whatever comes your way, like you can, you can stay, you are truly in your center through that whole experience. So we meet reality where it is with all of my offerings, with everything it is that I do, that I offer, that I create. It doesn't have to be this perfect setting. We can create a safe space. We can create a blissful space amidst chaos. That's it. I'm glad you shared that story with everyone because first of all, it's absolutely true. But second of all, I think I'm sure other moms that are listening to this will understand when I say that if there's silence, that means something's wrong. So had it been this picture perfect meditative environment, it would have actually been harder for me to actually like snuggle up close to my heart and

get the medicine I got from that experience because my mind would have been like, what's my kid doing? What's my dog doing? Something's wrong. But because they were with me and things were just very natural and organic and a part of my day, that is how I can get into my flow. that's so cool I'm just like I like I almost felt euphoric after our experience on Friday and I really was having a hard time putting any of this into words and I still am I hope I hope I've been able to make sense of some of my experience out loud, but it's just so interesting how 18 months later, things still come up and things are still wanting to be processed and parts of me are still wanting to be healed. And just this very humbling

reminder that, um, I think we talked about this too, kind of this like spiral and how things will come up again. But when they come up, we have different life experience and we have different perspectives and maybe a shifted mindset and we can just approach them differently. And so all of this was just an example of that for me, where it was just an opportunity to process and integrate and heal and reflect and just all the juiciness. It was beautiful. Thank you. Oh, I'm so honored. I'm so grateful. And you're not the first person who has said that about how hard it is to put into words what the experience is and just being in my energy. And it really is, you know, it's, it's a felt sense. It's, it's hard to put into words and maybe the words will flow at some point. We've both done our best at like verbalizing what it is, but again, because we're working not just on like a logical and physical level, we are working on a deeply intuitive and energetic level as well. And we don't have the words for that most of of the time we don't.

So I would agree with that. I think the English language, um, yeah, it just doesn't have, it doesn't have the words we need. So, um, not only is like the power of your energy, super amazing, but your cake making skills and your bone broth making skills are also top level. So I feel like those things feels very superficial in comparison to everything we just talked about. But you mentioned that cooking for people is one of your love languages and I just so happen to love eating. So

all weekend I've been enjoying more slices of that cake and it is just divine. I love to hear that. And yeah, I mean, cooking and food. Yeah, they are my love language and I'm super intentional with what it is that I cook and what I create. And people have told me that they feel that too, right? Like my mom always said growing up, like, do you know what the secret ingredient is? The secret ingredient is love. And like my niece now, like she's five and whatever my mom says that she's like, grandma, I know what it is. It's love. But I mean, it's true, right? Like, I infuse that in. And I'm so intentional about the space that I create, about the music that I listen to, about my own energy that I am clear so that I'm not projecting anything that might be

going on subconsciously or my own stuff that's going on, like that isn't really important part of my work because I want to show up fully and wholly and nourish people from that place. So that's the end of the day. Thank you. You're doing it. I think it's so inspiring it's something that anyone myself included anyone that works with mothers and families it's something that we really need to be intentional and conscious about um yeah oh I feel like I'm speechless I really do feel like I'm speechless um I would love to before we go here I would love to just before we go here, I would love to just hear. So the three packages that you described, those would be for people that are local and can hire you in person,

but you do also have some virtual ways to work with you. So I would love to hear more about that and what you have going on in the next couple of months? Yeah, so those three packages are available to anyone who's in the Calgary and Airdrie area, rural communities as well. For postpartum support, I do also have two other virtual offerings. So one is a planning for postpartum that can also be in person or on Zoom. And that's just where I share a little bit more about these five essentials of postpartum care. And we start to create a plan on how you can support yourself. And I invite the people who are going to be your primary support people, like your partner

and either your mom or your friends or anyone else to be joining on that. I will also be having some in-person planning for postpartum classes coming up in the few months, in the next few months. And then the other postpartum virtual offering is it's just virtual text and voice messaging support. And all of my offerings are on a sliding scale as well. That's something that is really important for me because I recognize and acknowledge the financial restrictions and barriers that many women face and that most mothers are

going to put the needs of their family and their babies ahead of their own. But like I said, if a mother isn't supported, if it's not mother centered care, then it's, then it's not really overly supportive for your entire family. So if this is something that you feel called to receive, you can ask for donations in lieu of baby gifts. That's something that I recommend to people as well, so that you can receive this kind of care in your early postpartum time and there's no judgment on anything on the sliding scale side of things too so all of those offerings are on a sliding scale I offer one-on-one pregnancy support and private prenatal yoga as well so that is a way to just begin to start this connection process with your body. And all it is that you move through in the pregnancy, in the pregnancy time in that first

stage of the rite of passage. And then I also work with women through realigning to their cycles. I am launching, or I have a program beginning on April 30th called Blissful Cycles. And this is a three month long group container for women and mothers to gather online once a month to connect to their womb, body, and soul through the practice of cycle awareness. So module one includes connecting to your body and your womb, um, and introduction into fertility awareness, which can be used either as a natural pregnancy prevention or to support conception. Um, and then also how to track the fertility signs in your body.

Um, and that's really, that's really what we should have been taught in quote unquote health class as well. That's why I spent 16 years on birth control. If I had known that I could only get pregnant a handful of days a month and that I could really track all of that myself, I would have made a different decision a lot earlier. And so my experience with that is really what has formulated the creation of blissful cycles. So that's module one. Module two is about menstrual cycle awareness, understanding the four different phases and seasons that we go through in a menstrual cycle

on a monthly basis, how to work with the energetics of that, and how all of that also correlates and aligns with the cycles and the phases that the moon and the seasons go through as well. And then module three is really about embracing the season changes. So the season changes in your body, but also the season changes in your life and embodiment and integration practices. So we gather once a month on zoom to go over this. You get the modules lifetime access for forever. And I also invite you it's included in the price to join my weekly live online blissful yoga classes as well. So that's a one hour, just slow flow practice to continue connecting to your womb, body and soul.

So that begins on April 30th. And if you're unable to make it for that one, or it doesn't feel aligned, these will be offered seasonally as well. So it's never too late, just like it's never too late to receive postpartum care. It's never too late to step into tending to your body and connecting to your womb, body, and soul in this way. I love it. And just to be clear, so Blissful Cycles is 100% virtual, right? Yeah, it is. Super cool. I'm obviously going to leave your website information and ways for people to contact you in the show notes. But if people wanted to follow you right away on Instagram, where can they find you? They can find me at

blissful womb care on Instagram. And then my website is blissful womb care.com. Amazing. Amazing. Well, Brittany, thank you. Thank you. Thank you thank you seriously words cannot describe the gratitude and appreciation I have for you um I know I've said this in person and I think in our whatsapp chats but I I just appreciate so deeply how you constantly see and recognize me for all that I am. And that really helps me to also see myself and just have this deepened level of self-compassion for myself. So yeah, I'm literally feeling like Gideon Euphoric again. Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. And thank you for trusting me.

Thank you for inviting me into your home, into these really vulnerable and sacred times in your life. And for allowing me to hold the space for you, for opening up to receive this care. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, before you go, I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode. If you were thinking of anyone while listening, please send it their way. And if anything resonated with you or you love these conversations, please subscribe and leave a review this really helps the podcast algorithms put my show in front of more people just like you and the last thing I would love nothing more than hearing from you so say hi dm me on instagram and give me a follow at nicolepasvir until next

time