REWILD + FREE - Rewilding Your Nervous System (92)

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

What if your nervous system isn’t something to fix or “capacity build”?What if the most radical practice isn’t doing more, but simply noticing?And what if the mainstream understanding of the nervous system is just whitewashed wellness hacks — colonized language for ancient ancestral wisdom?In this episode, I riff on those questions and share:🌿 The hidden ways our nervous systems keep us tangled in hustle, chaos, and productivity loops🌿 How to meet those patterns neutrally as data instead of flaws🌿 Why saying “how interesting” and “this belongs” can shift everything🌿 The truth that our bodies already know this work, long before science caught upThis isn’t about mindset tricks, productivity hacks, or another self-improvement project. It’s about rewilding, remembering, and coming back into relationship with your innate wisdom.Big love + exhale..Links✨ Learn more + join EXHALE✨ Get almost weekly Soul Snacks in your inbox

You're listening to ReWild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasvier. I'm an ex-nurice, turn matressence guide, and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm. Keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood, bro-marketing, and boss babe culture.

Because in this space, we use nature as our framework as we move towards feminine embodied business development, cyclical orientation, and slow living. Together, let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters. Okay, friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today, and let's go. I've been sending out a weekly email now for, I think almost a month. Obviously, I've been sending emails out for years now, but I've never forced myself to be consistent and have a set frequency. And I was chewing on this desire to find a way to be more devoted to my email list and also be devoted to writing as a form of self-expression.

And so I came up with the idea of having a list of questions I asked myself to reflect on and letting that become kind of a weekly newsletter. So if you're not on my email list, definitely join because I'm sending soul snacks out every Friday. And basically, I'm sharing what I've been chewing on, what I'm digesting, what I'm unlearning, usually doing a bit of a cyclical check-in, and even asking you a question. They're juicy. They have been really fun to write and to create. I'm enjoying the loose structure around it that's also offering me.

you know, some kind of potent reflection that I wasn't necessarily doing. I find it also helping me to ground some of the bigger ideas that I'm digesting. And I think there's something to be said about getting to share my process out loud and kind of like embody it. And it's not so much about me teaching or sharing the final outcome of something I've gone through. I'm really sharing the in real time process and I really enjoy that and I also have gotten feedback from people that that's that's really valuable and I honestly don't think enough people do that. I think a lot of coaches and teachers and, you know, the gurus out there are very much focused on the big transformational outcome that they're now trying to sell you and that is just

definitely not me. I don't have a big transformational outcome I'm trying to sell you and frankly like I don't even if I did I don't want you to copy mine I want you to find your own anyways this week's soul snacks I was talking about how we are essentially the first generation to have this growing awareness around our nervous system right we are beginning to understand why it's important to be in relationship with our nervous system we're understanding why it's important to have a regulated nervous system. We're understanding what dysregulation means and fight or flight and all the things, right? We're having a better understanding of that. And also, we are the first generation to essentially have the ability to market, build,

grow a vision, a community, and a business from our cell phones. What the actual hell. Like, how lucky are we? The things that we can do from our phones are things that would have cost a lot of time and money even just a couple decades ago. So I'm really swimming in that reality check. I'm humbled by it. I'm inspired by it. Sometimes the fact that we, you know, if you're here, you probably relate to this in some way, right?

If you're a mom, maybe you've gone down the conscious parenting rabbit hole. In the healing space, there's, like, personal responsibility and, I don't know, all of the things. And it's like a blessing and a curse. It's obviously work. It's uncomfortable. Personal development, healing, spiritual awakening, whatever kind of flavor of it you are experiencing or relate to. Like, it's uncomfortable. And obviously, like, ignorance is bliss.

That's why there's a saying to name that, right? Ignorance is bliss. It would be so much easier and more comfy in using. air quotes, comfy, to, you know, not be so aware and not be so involved and in tune and in relationship to these parts of ourselves. So anyways, I'm sitting with all of that and reflecting on how babuzzled we've been in the way that we're overcomplicating it. And maybe I'm projecting here, but this is both my own experience and also what I've witnessed and clients I've worked and friends that are on similar paths as me is we tend to over-effort, we tend to have nervous

systems that are set to a baseline frequency of essentially being addicted to chaos, being addicted to hustle, and that leads us or it teeters us into the land of productivity, entangling our productivity with our self-worths and, you know, getting stuck. in like loops of hustle even though logically you say I don't want to hustle anymore you understand logically what it's doing to yourself your soul your overall wellness and yet we still do it right we still find ourselves doing busy work to scratch that itch you know some kind of very real examples of this I'm going to pull these from the email so that I don't forget them because each of them are awesome examples is, you know, you sit down to work on your

business and somehow you catch yourself updating Canva graphics for three hours. How many times has this happened? And maybe it's not Canva, but it's like you end up doing something else and that something else feels productive in a way. But ultimately it's busy work and you're likely doing that because the real next step, like that really purposeful next step that you could be doing either feels too fuzzy, feels too far away and like overwhelming in a way, or by doing it, you are taking that leap, you are putting two feet in the boat and opening yourself up for the potential of rejection from other people. And I've shared this in other spaces before where often our nervous systems, and this is happening subconsciously, you might essentially

jump ship, right? We're talking about two feet in the boat. So you might say, no, I don't actually want two feet in the boat. I'm straddling. I have one foot on the dock, one foot in the boat. Or maybe you're like, no, I'm jumping ship altogether because the potential of rejection is so big that you'd rather abandon that ship yourself. Okay, so that's just one example. Another example is you're spending all this time journaling your money blocks or pulling cards or rewriting affirmations. And secretly, not even logically, maybe secretly is not the right word. Subconsciously, there's still this really core belief that more money equals more responsibility. And so this shows up in the way that you price your offers, in the way that you show up to sell,

in the type of clients or people you're attracting into your life, you might end up feeling misaligned or even resentful in being under-resourced in whatever it is you're doing. And this also shows up in like your choices, your discernment around investing in yourself. Maybe it's telling yourself like you're not worthy of that higher ticket thing until and then you're setting those things like with a reward. have that thing if I do this. This also shows up in having a dozen half-baked offers or

projects started. We've all been there. I know. I know you. I know there's probably several unfinished, unposted drafts in your notes app. We never quite finish things. And this could be for a whole host of reasons. But in the context of this, it's often because you can't, you can't decide you can't commit, you can't devote to one because there's this pressure of wanting it to be the right one. So there's this fear of making the wrong choice and not picking the right one, not making the right next move. And even this idea of like rightness, like that very much kind circles around perfectionism and fear of failure and through the lens of the nervous system that's coming back to fear of rejection. If you have abandonment, primally speaking, if we

we got kicked out of the tribe, that would have meant death. So this pressure to pick the right thing can inherently be out of a desire to feel a sense of belonging, to feel a sense of safety. All of these things, by the way, are about safety. The other thing on the list is knowing in your bones that you hear for more, you know that you are on this earth for a reason, you know there's this purpose, but you're you, you know, you're second-guessing yourself into exhaustion, you feel fuzzy and unclear about what that is, but that knowing that there's something bigger, the ambition around it itself almost feels heavier

than the actions that are needed. So it's almost like your ambition is making you trip over yourself. Ask me how I know about this one. I feel like I should put a name on it, but there's there's definitely something to be said about basically our own ambition, the friction between our ambition and our reality and our current capacity. And there's friction there. And the last one I have on my list as an example is telling yourself that you'll take the leap once things slow down or once my kids in school or once I have a certain amount of followers or once I've had enough people give me a testimonial on this thing.

You're kind of putting a condition on whether or not your desire, your worthiness, is valid enough to keep moving forward. But the thing is, is the belief of once things slow down, like, life never really slows down. Or once your kid goes to school, you're just going to kind of move that goal post, and it's going to be, well, once a kid moves out. Or you have a second kid and then you just move the clock back even more. or you know the goalpost for how many testimonials or followers you have like you just move that you move the goalpost and so you never actually take the leap so if any of these sound familiar you're probably starting to think i've just illuminated all the things that are quote unquote like wrong and need to be fixed but i want to slow us all down here because that's exactly

where we fall into this trap right this this trap of thinking that something's wrong and that something needs to be fixed and instead I want to invite you to see all of these things neutrally as data okay it's almost like life is just one giant experiment I want you to put on your your safety goggles and your white lab coat okay and so now all of these things that we've just illuminated or insert your own it's just data and so when they come up instead of how you know it, feeling that urge, that pressure to heal it, to fix it, to shame it, to suppress it, I want you to start saying, wow, how interesting, this belongs, okay, both those two-liners. How interesting and this belongs are very, very, very powerful balms to our nervous system.

that how interesting line immediately triggers curiosity. And I've spoken about this before, that curiosity is so incredible for our nervous system. And then the second one, this belongs, triggers that, like, deep self-compassion. Okay. And then from there, I want to remind you that none of these things, these things I just listed are a mindset problem, right?

they are simply your nervous system doing what it thinks it needs to do to keep you safe. All of them, all of them are coming back to how to have this felt sense of perceived safety, all of them, and whatever other examples you're coming up with in your own life. So once we start understanding that, once we start dissecting it in that way, and instead of seeing these things as something to fix, and instead just leaning into what if noticing is enough. So noticing when your chest tightens when you open your bank account. Noticing that you want to turn a walk in the park into B-roll footage

before you even finished walking. Noticing that you said yes to a collaboration when your body was whispering. Noticing that urge to be busy. to fill your time with something that feels productive. Noticing when you're moving that goalpost for yourself. Okay? And then in that noticing, you're going to stop there. There's nothing else to do after that. There's no correction. There's no capacity building.

We're going to get there. My argument here is the capacity building is happening naturally. We don't have to do the capacity building. building. The whole like doing versus being. It's in the being that we build capacity. It's not in the doing. And so you're just noticing. You're just letting the energy move through you. And then here's kind of the mic drop moment. Nervous system work isn't another self-improvement project. It's colonized language that our bodies have always known. It's energy. It's magic. Alchemy. It's colonization that brought all of this, quote unquote, science to the mainstream spaces that we're seeing it now.

Our nervous systems have always been around. Our ancestors, other cultures, indigenous cultures, like they've understood this stuff before science caught up to it. So really leaning into the truth that this is an innate knowing in your body that we have, you know, been taught not to trust. And so it's actually something that we need to come back to relationship with, have reverence for, and ultimately remember. welcome to rewild and free i feel like if you haven't understood why i've named my podcast rewild and free this is the moment so many things that i talk about are all about rewilding and remembering and coming back to that like a neat essence and not just like from an authenticity piece of the puzzle but also from a like primally the ancestral full body intelligence and wisdom that our bodies are

holding and in my opinion in my experience and what I'm seeing what I'm feeling that's the path to freedom that's the path to liberation personally and collectively okay so kind of in a nutshell it means like the work here isn't about you know i already said this it's not mindset it's not affirmations it's not about doing more it's not about productivity hacks it's not about building capacity and becoming more resilient it's truly just about noticing when we can just notice, like I said, that's helping us to land into deeper self-compassion and curiosity, it's keeping us present, it's keeping us attuned, it's keeping us grounded, and then in that place, the magical swirly energy gets to move, gets to shift, gets to calibrate,

and it's not actually our doing, right? So, like, it's just us getting out of the way. Hang it. Big breath. And this is exactly what I'm leading inside exhale. It's going to be that subtle tending to our nervous systems and that radical vision clarity. Because if we don't have that clarity around a vision,

if we aren't connected to a vision, then that end. energy leaks, that energy doesn't have a place to go. It's kind of like, what do you think of like masculine and feminine divine energies? That masculine is more that like containment and that structure and the feminine is more of the flow. And one way to think about that is we need the edges of a riverbank for a river to flow, right? So we need the masculine energy, which is the riverbank for our feminine energy, which is the water to flow. And I would say that in order for our visions to be grounded and to eventually become our reality, we need containment around them.

Okay, otherwise they're not grounded. Otherwise, they just stay, you know, delusional and a pie in the sky dream. And so part of that grounding, big part of that grounding is obviously around clarity so we know where we're shooting our arrow and also that nervous system safety piece. Okay. So exhale is the combination of nervous system, nourishment, and vision clarity and a heavy dose of community and peer support. We start next week. I'm really excited for it. I'm really leaning into fall as an anchor. And a compass, the wisdom of this season, the wisdom of exhale, letting go, compost, inventory, gratitude, tis the season, okay.