REWILD + FREE - THE BEST MARKETING ADVICE I'VE EVER BEEN GIVEN (IG Live Jan 5/25)

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

How can you be more honest? This is from an IG live I did sharing my heart, it's full cringe, might delete later kinda shit BUT WE NEED MORE OF THIS ONLINE. How can you be more honest? Not just in your marketing to build connection and trust with your people, but also with yourself? How can you be more honest to find radical truth in the stories and beliefs you're attaching to? How can you be more honest to widen your context and hold space for the duality of 2 possibilities to exist at the same time? How can you be more honest to break free from limiting beliefs and disrupt patterns keeping you in the same loops? .COME UNDONE WITH ME! UNDONE - 3 month virtual retreat for coaches, doulas and spiritual entrepreneurs done following other people’s rules for success and ready to break free from the learned limitations dimming their light This isn’t more biz strategy, it’s self love mastery and nervous system rewiring so your self concept matches the wild desires that are planted on your heart.  At the time of writing this, 19 spots remain Doors close Wednesday Jan 8 and we begin our journey together with the full moon on Jan 13 Details and sign up HERE | faq HERE

You're listening to Rewild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasvir. I'm an ex-nurse turned matrescence guide and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm. Keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood, bro-marketing, and boss babe culture. Because in this space, we use nature as our framework as we move towards feminine embodied business development, cyclical orientation, and slow living. Together, let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and

reconnect to what truly matters. Okay friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. So best piece of marketing advice I've ever been given was from Simone Sol. Love her, love everything she does. So simple. It's literally just asking yourself before you go to post something, before you go to create content, before you sit down to write copy is like how can I be more honest it's literally it that's the advice how can I be more honest and I love this piece of advice because it really helps you be more truthful with yourself I think that's one aspect of it it helps you be more truthful with yourself it helps you really check in and see wait am I being honest am I being transparent am I actually teetering into this energy of needing

to prove or needing to please or needing to maintain maintain some type of reputation or facade that I've kind of created for myself so yeah the question the prompt is like how can I be more honest and why this is really important in marketing especially in like heart-led soul-led spiritual whatever label you want to throw on it kind of businesses especially for like service based businesses where you're not just selling like a done-for-you product where you're actually in relationship with your clients and creating containers and felt senses of felt a felt sense of safety and yeah building relationship with your people is because that honesty helps to obviously build like trust and connection but it's also this

felt resonance right and when we're talking about nervous system stuff our nervous systems are literally like it's like a little antenna feeling out for truth and like fakeness and I feel like 2020 2025 is a year where we are all waking up I feel like we've already been on this awakening journey but collectively there's more people waking up and we are sniffing out incongruence we are sniffing out like a dissonance and when things don't feel right and you might not logically be able to have language to why you're not joining someone's offer or like buying something even the logic you're like wait why don't I want this why am I not like totally all in and what's happening is there's this frequency that the other person's nervous system might be emitting and your nervous

system is feeling it and there's like a disconnect there's a dissonance there and so that prompt to become more honest is an opportunity to just embody a more honest frequency a more truthful frequency a more you kind of frequency so you're all more authentic and that gets to be felt from the person that is receiving it I absolutely did not explain that the way I wanted to but we're going to move on because that's not the point of this live the point of this live is I keep walking around my house asking myself how can I be more honest today how can I be more honest in my content and in this launch for undone and the things that keep popping up in my head I immediately shut down I'm like I can't say that I can't say that and oh my god like this is the

whole reason I've created Undone this is the whole reason I've created Undone is to really move past that I can't say that moment and to break past the the shield and the armor and the wedge that we are putting between ourselves and our people and our like soulmate clients and it's ultimately I don't want to use the word sabotage but that was what was going to come out of my mouth because it's like sabotaging our potential and we obviously aren't doing this intentionally this is subconscious that we have all these kind of rules that we've put in our head these what I'm calling like learned limitations and these conditions that we've attached to these stories these beliefs these yeah rules right it's well I can't say that because if I do and then fill in the blank right with whatever your blank is what is it that you can't say and what is it that you're worried about on the other

side of saying it and for me what keeps showing up is all these things that I have this nudge deep down to potentially share and on the other side of it there's this fear of being perceived and being judged and being misunderstood but more specifically it's if I actually share those things out loud then people are going to think that I'm not worthy of leading this retreat that I'm not worthy of actually creating and hosting this kind of container and this kind of experience because there's a fear deep down that I'm not fully embodying and don't have complete confidence and haven't achieved like this level of expertise that in my head I think I need to achieve in order to be worthy of hosting this retreat and obviously that's not true right and again so the whole point

of this retreat and a lot of the work we're going to do inside of it is like moving through those beliefs and moving through those stories and actually finding the truth in them and of course creating the safety within ourselves the safety internally and for our nervous system to actually move forward in that truth and honesty and of course in this moment now I'm forgetting some of the things I think well no I'm not one of the things is I only have one person signed up for this retreat I only have one person signed up and that is fucking scary because from the start of creating this thing every time I've been in meditation with the offering and I do different visualizations where I see my business as a separate entity than me and I also see the offerings as like

separate entities as well. So Undone as this like separate entity from me, Her medicine, her muse, her magic, her wisdom, her truth has always been holding on to and anchored into 20 women being in this retreat. So I have also anchored into that number of 20. I've capped the spots at 20. I have kind of designed and orchestrated the things around this ideal of 20 women. And I only have one person signed up and the doors are closing on Wednesday of three days. So my mind logically is, well, how the fuck are we gonna fill 19 spots in three days? Meanwhile, I'm also paying attention,

trying not to go all psycho about it, but paying attention to the reality of my metrics and who's seeing my instagram posts and how my emails with the open rate and my emails and like the numbers of people listening to my podcast i'm loosely paying attention to that and also trying to be mindful of that's not real either right the algorithm fucks with you so that's not real and also it's disappointing it's both and so logically my mind is like how the fuck are we going to fill spots for 19 people when there's only 20 people seeing

my stories every day right like a fucking miracle has to happen and in all that because I've been doing this work for so long and this is where I've caught myself where like in my mind my my mind is trying to tell me Nicole you can't say this stuff out loud because it's going to discredit your your worthiness and your credibility around hosting this retreat but here's the actual truth and here's where I can actually be radically honest with you and and share with you the embodiment of moving through this stuff so what I've been doing every time I catch my mind kind of chattering and spiraling in that more negative direction and attaching to these stories I also hold with it like okay so for the example of like how the am I going to fill 19 spots in three days? The other side of that is like, that is actually possible. Like I have no idea who's been watching,

even though it just looks like 20 people, I'm, I'm, I only need 19 more people to sign up. So that's, that's like the math actually does add up, but more so than that, like, I have no idea who's been looking at the sales page. I have no idea who's been spending their evenings having conversations with their husband about making this $2,200 investment. I have no idea what's actually happening. I have no idea what the potential women that are considering joining this retreat, where they're at and where their mindset and where their discernment and what their hesitations are.

I have no idea. And so I can't, first of all, I can't put myself in their minds and I can't put myself in their wallets. And each time I catch myself doing that, I keep holding, like inviting myself to hold space for the other side of it too, the other possibility, the like best case scenario. So instead of just riding the worst case scenario train which is where my mind likes to take me I'm consciously choosing to also take a ride on the best case scenario train and like really open myself up to the possibility and the miracles and the magic that can happen and like the energetic feeling of those spots already being filled like what does that feel like and how do I show up from a place if those spots are already filled and obviously that's a lot different right my energy

is a lot different my my my marketing and my copywriting on the superficial side of things might not look that different but the energy behind it and so what's felt behind those words is different it's not coming from this place of desperation it's coming from this place of confidence and trust and I'm holding space for the 20 women that are coming with me in Undone Retreat and rambling now the point of this is holding space for the actual truth and not getting fixated on the stories that our minds want to attach to and there's more I just need to recenter myself because I'm talking fast and I know that means I'm getting excited and getting in my head a bit I'm also absolutely not paying attention to who's

here hello hello yeah coming back to the the, the question, how can I be more honest? And feeling into the various things that have come up for me in that prompt and where I catch myself and really like cock block myself from moving forward because I say, well, I can't say that. So my invitation here is to really get curious about what's coming with that I can't say that statement because one it's not true so what's the alternative to that what would and could happen if you did say that best case scenario train and also like where is that story of I can't say that coming from who who told you or who who has made you felt that you can't say that and so I think that was the other piece that I wanted to kind of touch on in this is really beginning to to get curious

about where that story or where that rule or where that limitation or condition you're setting yourself you're giving yourself has come from and so for me though I can't say that like if I admit that I only have one person signed up for this retreat and I'm I'm truthfully a bit scared of what the outcome is going to be I feel like I can't say that because I don't see any other successful entrepreneurs and business owners sharing details around how many people have signed up for their stuff. Certainly not during a launch, right? That is just a thing that you don't see people talking about. And when I get curious about that, it makes me just kind of laugh about it. Well, why aren't we talking about that? I don't about that it makes me just kind of laugh about it.

Well why aren't we talking about that? I don't know. I know there's... I think what's coming up for me is just this recognition that there's, on the receiving end, like there's a lot of excitement and almost fear of missing out energy that comes when I hear that someone is joining a container that I'm interested in. And that kind of propels me to maybe make a decision to join. So we see that, right? We see people sharing about the number of people that they're enrolling when it's a number they're proud of but we don't see them talking about numbers that they might be feeling disappointed or have fear or or or scarcity in and I think what's interesting is maybe maybe that's exactly

it is because when we are in that energy it is laced with scarcity and laced with lack and so I guess again the embodiment of this and what's happening kind of behind the scenes for me when I'm in this little battery and I think I just paused because it wanted to tell me that when I catch myself sitting in the energy of holy shit I still need to fill 19 more spots and the fear slash disappointment scarcity lack whatever comes with that when I catch myself in that energy it's not about how quickly can I like stop myself from feeling this and how quickly can I stop myself from from getting stuck in that scarcity energy because that's low vibe and I don't want to be there it's actually wait a minute yeah this is disappointing

obviously it would have been really cool if I filled the spots like two weeks ago and I don't want to be there. It's actually, wait a minute. Yeah, this is disappointing. Obviously, it would have been really cool if I filled the spots like two weeks ago and I was just chilling over here. But what's also happening and what's more true is this is again, more invitation for me to really embody my work and really hold the pose through this and not get sucked into thinking that the truth is I only have one person signed up and that's the outcome the actual truth is is I still have three more spots to fill those spots and sorry three more days to fill those spots and the actual truth is I have no idea what the outcome is going to be and so I choose to continue to be open to the miracles and the possibility that can

come from that I'm choosing not to get stuck in the lack and the scarcity and the disappointment but I'm also feeling the lack and the scarcity and the disappointment and the fear that comes with it so that makes sense it's both right it's not about controlling our emotions and labeling them as good or bad. Yes, those are low I do sit with the disappointment and when I momentarily do sit with the energy of scarcity. I hate that word because I feel like it's just it has such a negative connotation to it. But when I catch myself in that energy, it's an invitation of like, where can I actually resource myself internally because when I'm in that energy I am so desperate for like validation outside of me and validation for like my sense of worth and I'm seeking that and craving that outside of me and I again because of the work I've done I understand that pattern and I

see that pattern so it's an opportunity to disrupt the pattern and actually come back to my own center and wait a minute I don't actually need these 20 spots to be filled to validate my sense of worth like I got me like I am awesome no matter what the outcome of this launch is. I am also so in trust with just the universal protection and so in trust with just the flow of this whole process that like whatever the outcome is, is exactly right for me. And whether that means three more people join and we have a total of four,

or maybe we sell out at 20, or maybe there's no more signups and I have some choice points of what I want to do with that. Like I am just so in trust that like I have my back intuitively resourced myself externally as well with like mentorship and coaching energy practices and a whole toolkit of other things, right? I'm not looking to social media or something like outside of myself to give me that validation and give me that sense of safety specifically around my sense of worth. Again, the prompt of how can I be more honest? Honestly, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And I don't think we ever do. I think that's the whole point. And if there's one thing that I've learned about like business creation, offer creation, marketing, is that it gets to be playful, right? Anytime I catch myself getting really serious is also when I start looping into patterns of perfectionism

because there's this pressure of wanting to get it right. And I think it's so, so important to keep coming back to this like playful, more innocent energy. There's no pressure in that energy. It's so open and expansive and fun and that's the whole point right this isn't supposed to be super serious this isn't supposed to be all perfection-y and performance-y because that's the thing is when you get in that energy then you're teetering into performance and that's felt too so again the prompt of how can I be more honest is often a beautiful invitation to bring you out of performance.

Another thing that keeps coming up for me is on top of the fear and the doubt. That's a word I haven't used yet in this conversation. Doubt, self-doubt. Oh my God, that is such a the stories that I'm attaching to when I notice feelings of doubt coming in. And again, it's that train, right? Am I going down worst case possibility train or am I going down best case possibility and really keep myself open to the reality and truth of possibility and miracles and magic and things that like I can't comprehend or make sense of, that is just such a different energy to create from than the energy of I don't think I trust myself this isn't working oh here I go again same pattern I've been in before where like I start launching something and things aren't working the way they want they I wanted them to I've attached to a potential outcome or I've made

meaning about what this launch means around my sense of self-worth and then I abandon I jump ship I'm like now I'm just not going to launch this thing anymore and I this is sneaky I I will often assign meaning to something else that oh that was my sign this was never supposed to be like I wasn't actually supposed to do this thing this was forced and again this this launch has been such a beautiful initiation for me because there's been so many things that have happened where in the past I totally would have taken that as a sign of oh this isn't right like I'm forcing this this isn't in alignment um whatever other story I kind of put to protect myself around the decision to jump ship instead of actually just seeing it for what it was where I'm abandoning myself so that I can't I don't have to feel the possible feeling

of rejection and abandonment when people don't sign up for my thing that that is such an important piece to this because that that fear of abandonment again really ties into craving validation externally like in our businesses and also um that that fear of being like if if we truly feel when someone doesn't sign up for our stuff if we are actually feeling that as oh my god they don't like me they've rejected me that's such a beautiful indication and illumination that there's that entanglement of your sense of worth with your business and so again sharing all this but also able to share with you that this launch has been so different for me because that's not where my mindset goes

anymore I'm able to see that my business and this launch and this this offering this beautiful retreat is separate from me and the outcomes the amount of women that sign up the experience that these women have once we've gone through the portal has no indication or measurement of what that means about me and I don't think I've ever created something where I've had that clean of a separation and that is really really cool so again to be more honest it doesn't mean that I'm not finding myself back in these similar patterns and similar similar loops where my mind my monkey brain takes me down those familiar stories because that's all I've really ever known but what's really cool is I'm able to disrupt the pattern and not necessarily act and embody from that mind chatter

so anyways I feel like there's so much more. This is probably going to open the floodgates. I'll probably make a post later of like, how can I be more honest and literally just like share with you all this stuff that I've been telling myself I can't say. What I will say is the theme around almost all of them is this fear of losing credibility. And that in itself is interesting because that again is teetering me into, or at least illuminating to me, the potential teeter of moving into this performative, people-pleasing,

maintaining a certain facade kind of energy. And just because the mind chatter is there and I see that story and that pattern running through doesn't necessarily mean I'm acting on it. And again, I'm going to pat myself on the back because I've seen so much growth in myself the past month or so in talking about this that I don't move from that energy. I see it play out and I can catch myself and make a different choice. And that coming back to that, that feeling of doubting yourself and not trusting yourself and that like self-doubt energy, which is really real and really familiar for me, I get to flex a different muscle and actually come back to this energy of holding the pose and trusting myself and trusting the offer and trusting the unfolding, no matter

how it ends up, as something that is separate from me and my worth. And that repetition of constantly getting to choose that, choose that trust, choose that surrender to outcome, choose that trust the pose energy is a muscle that I'm flexing and the repetition of that is going to keep building, right? So that self-doubt energy becomes less and less and less. Or when it pops up, I'm able to catch it and move away from it so much faster so another really interesting thing that has crept creeped creeped crept creeped up crept up crept up that I don't whatever that I've noticed that I've witnessed is I I shared this with my mentor a couple weeks ago and she just laughed at me because nobody does that Nicole I'm like but I do that and this is the thing is we always think that people do what we do right so I I fuck with your email open rates I am that person that will open an email and not read it just because I

want the notification to be gone. I'm well intentioned. I have intentions of reading it when I have time, but I open it basically prematurely. And I mean, probably six times out of 10, I don't make the time to come back to read it because other things come up and it just doesn't happen. So I'm fucking with your open rates because I open the email, but I don't make the time to come back to read it because other things come up and it just doesn't happen. So I'm fucking with your open rates because I opened the email, but I don't read it. And so I think everyone does that. And I look at my own email open rates, which are quite good. And I tell myself, my mind is mean. My mind is, well, people aren't actually reading them. People are just opening them and doing whatever else and not actually reading them. And again, it's an opportunity for me to be like, but wait, is that true? No, it might be, but it also might not be, right?

Those possibilities are equal. And so I get this opportunity to choose which one I want to lean into. So point of the story here is like this prompt around honesty really is a fun one to illuminate some of the stories that you're attaching to.