REWILD + FREE - They told me not to record in the bathtub but I did it anyways

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

In this episode, I introduce who I am and share a bit about why I'm starting this podcast.  As a busy mom, it can be hard to find quiet time so I figured why not record while taking a bath!  Turns out the audio quality is nooooot superior, it sounds like I'm in a cave! So until I figure out a better mic setup, my dreams of recording in the tub are crushed...   It was important to me to not let perfection get in the way so this is an exercise for myself to show up MESSY - here's your permission to do the same! Connect with me, I'd love to hear from you!! Come say hi on IG  @nicolepasveer As I keep playin', showin' up messy and creating, I'm always looking for special guests to co-host with me!!  Think of it less like an interview, and more just chatting over a cup of tea! If you're interested in being on the show and have a conversation idea you'd like to bring forward, fill out this form  Support the showConnect with Nicole on IG (@nicolepasveer) Want to be a guest on the podcast? Fill out this form

Welcome to the Not Just a Mom Show, where we have open and honest conversations about the vulnerabilities and the victories within entrepreneurship and new motherhood. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pazvir and I'm going to be your host. Here on the show, we don't subscribe to perfection. In fact, being present is the new perfect and showing up messy is the new norm. My hope is that this podcast serves as a safe space for me and inspiration for you to stop living life watered down. Together, we will uncover versions of our most potent selves where we show up unapologetically, intentionally, and without filter. We are worthy, just as we are, as all that we are, not just the label we put on ourselves. We are more than just a mom,

and I'm so glad you're here. I recorded this episode in the bathtub, and I apologize in advance because the audio is far from superior. I've listened to it a couple times and it's definitely cringeworthy but I've promised myself that I'm gonna show up messy and I'm not gonna let perfectionism get in the way so I hope you keep listening. I promise the audio will get better as I get more practice. Hello, this might be the first episode of the Not Just a Mom podcast and I want to start off with a couple of confessions. Number one is I'm breaking a lot of rules here. I'm literally in my bathtub right now.

So if you hear water, that's just like bees splashing around. I'm currently surrounded by the softest bubbles and I'm soaking in Epsom salts and I can smell lavender and I recently got a new snake plant that I put in my bathroom so I'm looking at that. I also farted in the tub so yeah I guess if you hear bubbles that's what might be going on but I will try to be polite and not fart in front of you although that would mean we're friends right the second rule I'm breaking is people that tell you how to make a podcast will tell you that you need to kind of structure your episodes out and to um actually like have like a bulleted list of what you want to say or an actual script. I have none of that.

I have no idea what the next episode is going to be after this. I have no idea what the next five episodes are going to be. And I certainly do not have a script in front of me or any bullet points. I am just here to talk. And I think that's going to make this podcast really beautiful. I'm excited for what it becomes and I'm excited for whoever listens to it because I firmly believe that whoever is here listening is exactly who is supposed to be receiving whatever lessons come from the show whatever inspiration comes from this show and I guess that brings me to my next point about

what this show is about and who it's for and so I've had this question asked to me a couple times since I announced that I was going to start another podcast and I think my answer has been slightly different every time but the biggest thing is this podcast is more for me than it is for anyone else I am not setting out any intentions about what the experience is for my listeners. This is more so about just sharing my own experience and sharing my own transformations, my own lessons, my own healing, my own journey. And again, just trusting that whoever is supposed to be listening will listen to the right episode and that's really exciting and takes a lot of pressure off of me uh my friend and I actually did a podcast around a year ago it was was called the Brunch with Mamas podcast. It's still available on all podcast

listening apps if you would like to go binge listen to some of those episodes. It was great. I had a lot of fun doing it. We unfortunately needed to take a break from that just because life kind of got busy and then we just kind of decided that it didn't make sense to restart it again. I've heard Elizabeth who I was doing the podcast with she currently lives in Austria and so the time difference made it very challenging as well as she just had her second baby so she's now a mama to two beautiful babies and obviously that keeps her busy. If anybody knows Elizabeth you know that she's really good at pivoting. Her ability to pivot and her ability to just change directions so that it makes sense for her is really inspiring. I have not been very good at that.

That is a very hard muscle for me to flex. I get very uncomfortable pivoting. I like to just stay on a familiar path, especially one that has been traveled on by many so that I know what to expect. I don't like unfamiliarity and I don't like the unknown. And it's funny that I just kind of explained all that because that's a big part of what this podcast is going to be about is my own journey of changing paths, like quite literally, like stepping off the beaten trail and paving my own path for quite honestly the first time in my life never done that and I'm doing it right now I'm doing it right now so I'm celebrating that um I witness that and I

recognize myself in doing all that and the journey that it's been and just all the lessons I've had from that. Anyways, since this is probably the first episode, I should probably talk a little bit about who I am. So I am Nicole Pasvir. I think I've been actually reflecting a lot about who I am at like the deepest level. And something as silly as my name is like, well, like, what does that even mean? Like, that's just a name that my parents have called me. And like, my last name is just the name I took on after marrying my husband. Like, it's just interesting how we are so quick to define ourselves by our name and by our roles, and maybe by where we live and yeah just whatever whatever other category we can check the box in for ourselves and that's a big reason why I'm calling this podcast not just a mom

because while I am a mom and while momming is by far my most favorite job I've ever had, it's also the hardest job I've ever had, it's not who I am, right? At my core, I am so many things and I'm figuring that out. And again, that's where this podcast is going to come in. It's going to be a safe space for me to just kind of process some of the things I'm going through right now in my own motherhood journey, in my own matrescence, more on that word later. And just discovering who I am. I've gone through a massive, let's call it spiritual awakening, since giving birth to my daughter.

I never would have called it that until probably a couple months ago when I was like, oh, I think that's what's happening. I didn't really sign up for this, but I think that's what's happening. I didn't really sign up for this, but I think that's what's happening. And really, it's just been a massive opportunity for self-discovery and so many things. So within the show, we're going to talk about all those things. We're going to talk about birth, pregnancy, matrescence. We're going to talk about spirituality. We're going to talk about self-discovery and just like personal development, healing, trauma healing, reparenting, inner child work. I would also love to be an open book about my own experience being an entrepreneur and starting and growing my own business. So really, like no topic is going to be off the table here.

If it's something that is going on in my life, it's probably going to be something I want to talk about. I like to think I'm an open book, but I've realized that I am actually quite closed off around certain people, which again is a big reason I thought a podcast would be fun because it is a safe space for me I don't know who's listening and that might make some people uncomfortable but because I don't have a specific audience and I'm not I'm not really sure who's listening for any given episode it gives me this sense of freedom and safety to just speak my mind and not really worry about what others are thinking versus in day-to-day interactions. Obviously that's a lot different when you're actually

talking with someone or of course on Instagram and Facebook and other social media platforms. Obviously, there's some censorship going on, and I'm aware of that. So yeah, that's not going to happen here. I'm going to show up uncensored, unfiltered. I'm going to talk about whatever's going on. I'm going to probably swear, if it makes sense. Yeah, anyways, I've already gone off tangent. I was trying to introduce myself. So back to that. My name is Nicole Pazier and I am, I already mentioned this, but I'm a mom. I'm also a wife. We also are dog owners to two crazy border collies. Yes, we were crazy enough to get a second one. I'm also a former nurse. I was a registered nurse for, I guess it was almost five years, and then I got pregnant and I went on maternity leave and there was no way in hell I was going

back. So that kind of takes me to where I am today. Future episodes will explain that whole transition a little bit more. But what else am I? What else do you need to know? I am a Gemini, but I really don't know much about my horoscope. I'm getting into human design a little bit, so I'm a self-projected projector. Apparently that's really cool. Everything I've read about it, I'm like, oh, that makes so much sense. I'm also an Enneagram 6. What else? My favorite color is pink. It has been for as long as I can remember uh favorite tv show is Gilmore Girls and Boy Meets World is probably a close second I don't drink coffee you can find me with a cup of tea basically any time of the day until about 3 p.m and then red wine on the occasional evening or socially with friends. I love long walks on the beach.

I know that's cliche, but it truly is the truth. I love the ocean. Being anywhere near water is just very, very grounding for me. I also love the forest. Don't know if I mentioned this, but live in Calgary Alberta Canada and in Canada on the west end of our country is Vancouver Island and on Vancouver Island is a place called Tofino and Tofino has a very special place in my heart. There is ocean and rainforest all in the same place and by far probably one of my favorite places in Canada. Obviously I know there's many other parts in the world that have ocean and rainforest but

I don't think there's any other place like that in Canada. I've also been to Italy and Greece. Those places were magical for their own reasons as well. What else? I really didn't want this episode to be too long. This was really just supposed to be me quickly introducing myself and explaining what the show was going to be about. So I think I've done that. I'm really excited to see what this becomes. Like I said, it's really not going to have much structure to it, and I hope you can appreciate that. If that frustrates you in any way, this probably isn't the right show to keep listening to.

If my audio quality bothers you in any way, again, probably not the right show to listen to, because I can't guarantee that that's gonna get any better um but yeah I'm excited to be here I'm excited for whoever gets to listen to this I hope that yeah I just I I have I really don't know where this is going to take me but I do hope that it either offers some inspiration or um some some wisdom some challenges in your own life like I hope I can challenge you I hope I can challenge you to be the best version of yourself I also hope I can make you laugh I think I'm hilarious my husband probably doesn't but I hope I can make you laugh on this show I also hope that I offer some solidarity like we are in some tough times the world is a crazy place

and I feel like so many of us are feeling lonely and overwhelmed and so many things. So I hope some of the things I share on this show offer a sense of solidarity. And most of all, I just hope that you feel this is a safe space to listen to, whether you're listening on your ride to work or while you're cooking in the kitchen, while you're giving your kids a bath maybe as you're going to bed I hope it's something that you can look forward to in your week oh that's another thing that I'm probably going to break the rules on you're supposed to kind of be consistent about how often episodes are released I would love to say I'm going to release episodes

weekly but I have a like almost two-year-old and I'm trying to start my own business and I mean I could list a whole bunch of excuses but the truth is is I'm not certain that I can keep this podcast as a top priority week after week I also don't want to just show up for the sake of showing up I only want to be showing up and recording when there's something to record about. So I'm hoping that ensures that each episode is potent and valuable. Ooh, I don't like that word. I take that back. I want it to be potent, but having the pressure to offer some sort of value is something that I don't want to carry. As I mentioned, this podcast is more for me than it is for you. And so I hope that I'm just able to be free and speak my truth and feel safe to be heard and seen.

And with that, I'm hoping that that does bring you value. Something I'm working on is not letting my worth be measured by my achievements. And again, we're going to, we're probably going to have a whole episode on this, but part of that means that it's safe to just be, and it's safe to just exist. And I don't have to perform in any way. And so again, this podcast is a safe place for me to do that. It's a safe place for me to play. It's a safe place for me to come re-record parts of my first episode because listening back, I've realized I didn't articulate exactly the real reasons behind starting the Not Just a Mom show. And so I just wanted to say that for me, becoming a mom quite honestly felt like a massive face plant it wasn't that I felt like I was failing although I did have

moments of feeling inadequate and like I didn't know what I was doing but it was more so like just setting foot into this brand new territory, something that I never could have prepared myself for. And this humbling opportunity to lift myself back up instead of relying on someone else to lift me up or fix my mistakes. And really, there's been countless examples and opportunities for me to shed old beliefs and unlearn social constructs and just challenge social norms. And it's allowed me to actually shed layers of myself that I didn't even know I was like cloaking myself with and I think the coolest part of this is for the longest time like basically the better part of last year when my passion for birth work really set foot, I kept trying to wrap my brain around how do I put into words or put into a course or put into coaching or whatever medium it was going to be? How do I prepare new moms so that they don't have this face plant that I felt like I had?

And it's finally become clear to me that it's not really about preparing moms because I don't think you can. It's more so about supporting and holding space for them on the other end and shining a light on the shadow side of motherhood so that they are feeling seen, heard, and supported to embark their own healing and self-discovery journey. And all this to say this is kind of where the evolution of my own business has evolved to. Less about birth prep or motherhood prep and more about how do we actually prepare ourselves for this massive shift in identity and how do we support ourselves internally since we all know that village that so-called village isn't there and how do we how do we do this in a culture that for lack of a better word is cultureless and so um the podcast for me is part of how I plan to do it

um the podcast for me is an opportunity for storytelling um my own and others. And I do really believe that storytelling is a way to not only shed light on the experiences of the person walking that path, but it also helps to put words and language to someone else's experience where they're feeling just so disoriented and they don't themselves have the language or the vocabulary to describe what they're feeling storytelling is just a really beautiful way to um hold each other and um yeah just feel seen heard and supported and so I think for me that's that's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to start this podcast. And like I already mentioned, like a lot of it is for me and a lot of it is for me to share my own story and do my own processing and learn things and hopefully inspire you along the way. But

it's also with the belief that I believe that by storytelling, that is the ultimate way to model a caught up in motherhood and get lost in motherhood and I think it's something that before we become moms it's something we're fearful of and this is kind of where bounce back culture and returning to your old self and returning to your old identity all those messages come up and And it's because we fear becoming something new. We don't give space. We don't encourage change and evolution as much as I think we should. We don't encourage healing. We don't support healing. We don't like talking about healing. And I think a lot of this needs to be normalized. And I think a lot of this is not talked about enough. And it's making mothers feel inadequate.

It's making mothers feel overwhelmed. It's making mothers feel unheard and incredibly lonely. Because we're all walking a similar path. But it feels like we're doing it ourselves and it's kind of like this perpetuating cycle of silence where we don't want to talk about it because if we bring up a certain thing then it just makes us feel even more inadequate makes us feel even less confident and encourages us to compare ourselves to others. And when in reality, the silence is really just perpetuating this cycle and doing harm. It's creating this epidemic of postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety and burnout and just all

the things that we keep seeing over and over and over again and this isn't how we were supposed to live this isn't how we were supposed to mother and the last thing before I go on a tangent is we are allowed and we should be uncovering parts of ourselves that go deeper than just the role of a mom we are full human beings we have edges where we end and our babies start and this is something that I've struggled with in my own motherhood journey so far is the blurriness of those edges. And really putting a lot of weight on how I show up as a mother and the meaning that has on my identity and how I view myself and just my self-worth overall. And I think we need to just shift the narrative there a bit and remember that we are people outside of just being a mom. And so that's where the name Not Just a Mom came from

is we're so quick to just say, oh, I'm just a mom. Or, I mean, I did it when I was a nurse too. I'm just a nurse. And we kind of downplay our role and there's two sides to that and one is that yeah it's literally the most important job in the world but also we are more than just changing diapers and raising good humans. So all of this to say like this is kind of the direction I want the podcast to go. Obviously topics like birth, pregnancy, and motherhood are probably going to be frequent but I really really want to dive into the deeper layers that exist behind being a mother things like self-discovery and spirituality and

for me my own personal journey with entrepreneurship and how that has shown up and collided with my mothering role of, I want to talk about nervous system health and regulation. And oh, yeah, there's just so many different avenues I would like to take this show. And I'm just so excited to be here. I'm so excited to have you listening. And yeah. Cheers to showing up messy and cheers to just being us. I'll see you in the next one.