REWILD + FREE - UNDONE RETREAT (DETAILS, VISION, AND INVITATION)

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

***TIME SENSITIVE - doors to join UNDONE close on 1/8 and the opening circle of the retreat starts on 1/13 (first full moon of the year) UNDONE is a 3 month virtual retreat for coaches, doulas, and spiritual entrepreneurs DONE following someone else's rules for success and  ready to stop playing small, reclaim their unapologetic truth, and collapse timelines without burning outMore details about UNDONE and sign up HERE FAQs HERE Your retreat ticket includes: 🌿 6 juicy live workshops with Nicole— journeying through the 3 pillars (alchemize, activate, attune) 🌿 6 guest workshops— to glean the wisdom, magick and lived experience from fellow wise women (Check out previous episodes #64, 65, 66 to meet and tase the energy of 3 out of the 6 guest workshop facilitators)🌿 Almost weekly 15-minute pop-up micro-circles (camera-off dance parties, breathwork, guided rest, journaling led by Nicole)🌿 A private Slack community for connection, unfiltered reflection and big celebration🌿 And of course access to a lifetime sisterhood of women also committed to their truth and holding similar visions and ambitions as you - because, together we rise DM me on IG (@nicolepasveer) with questions or to set up a clarity/connection call

You're listening to Rewild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pasvir. I'm an ex-nurse turned matrescence guide and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm. Keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood, bro-marketing, and boss-babe culture. Because in this space, we use nature as our framework as we move towards feminine embodied business development, cyclical orientation, and slow living.

Together, let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters. Okay, friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. Oh my gosh, it's Friday, January 3rd, and I just realized I haven't recorded a proper formal episode about my Undone Retreat. We are starting in less than two weeks. Doors close to sign up next Wednesday, so January 8th. And yeah, I just had this like wave of like, oh shit, how did I forget that? I've been talking about it in all the places and I've been having some of the guest workshop facilitators that will be part of Undone on this podcast. So I

mean, if you have been listening, you probably know about it by now. But yeah, I haven't actually spent an episode just talking about it so here we are I'm gonna spend an episode talking about the undone retreat and I actually remembered that way way back in December I actually pulled this from December 4th I went for a walk down in the beautiful forest by my house it had snowed recently and so you can hear in the background me stepping on like fresh crunchy snow I highly recommend when we get to that part where I play that recording back that you do not listen on um like 1.5 or 2x speed because it makes it sound like I'm walking like a psycho lady so please listen at 1x speed for that portion because it's actually

really peaceful to hear the footsteps and the snow in the background but yeah before I share that little recording that I made I first just want to say how excited I am about this retreat I feel like I mean I feel like people say this about a lot of their offers but this really does feel like one of those things that has been a long time in the making I see so many of the through lines of my life and my business coming together in this beautiful like orchestra for what the the bones and the vibe of this retreat are evolving into and funny enough this all started with a workshop that I was planning to host back in October, I think, around frustration and really beginning to learn how to glean the wisdom from some of those heavier, stickier emotions that we tend to like gaslight or suppress. And that still is absolutely one part of this retreat.

I'm calling that kind of a pillar. That pillar is emotional or energetic alchemy. And it's really beginning to just notice what we notice and bring our attention as radical witnesses to our inner world around that spinning tires kind of energy you know when you feel like you're doing all the right things but things still aren't working and you have those moments of frustration and disappointment and maybe even like anger and bitterness and resentment creep in but there's a part of you that's not actually allowing yourself to feel those things because for whatever reason you're gaslighting yourself or you're um you've told yourself someday one day that those emotions aren't actually safe to feel and that makes you

weak or it makes you bitchy or it makes you entitled or whatever label you kind of smack on yourself when you actually allow yourself to feel those things and I'm trying to think if I have an example I mean recently I've been I suppose disappointed in how this launch is going so far and instead of gaslighting myself and thinking oh well like it could be worse or there's all these things that are great about it and really not allowing myself to feel the disappointment I've been allowing myself to sit in that disappointment and really kind of getting curious about the stories that I might be holding about it and if it actually stuff that's in my control and I mean usually it's not a lot of disappointment is in like the algorithm and tech glitches and the frustration that comes with that. And the thing is, is we can sit in that

energy and kind of allow it to turn into excuses and roadblocks and hiccups. And we can kind of become victims to that energy. Or we can be that radical witness, get radically curious about what else is going on there, what other emotions are at play, what wisdom is there for us, and really tap into that and not be victims of the situation. Instead, show up from this empowered state and really take back control where we do have control and consciously release and surrender to the places that we don't have control over and so that's what I've been doing right I've consciously been surrendering to the places that I don't have control like the algorithm like I is it even real um and instead of like

being frustrated or disappointed and disappointed in metrics on, can I instead like put my energy into really trusting that my work is reaching the people that it needs to and like this podcast is reaching the people that it needs to and instead of sitting here all pouty like, oh, wow, nobody's signing up. I thought more people would sign up by now what if instead I like tapped in to the other possibility the other possibility that I'm calling in 20 women to this thing so let's say the remaining women that I have seats for are literally in the place of discerning whether this is for them or not they've been looking at the sales page over and over again. They are talking with their husbands

or whoever they kind of make financial decisions around investing with. And literally, maybe tonight, they're about to plug their credit card information in, right? That's an absolute possibility. And so it's kind of this invitation to get really, I guess, aware and curious around those stories that we hold with those emotions and coming back to yeah like I said what we actually have control over and actually

reframing some of those stories because often they're not really true so I don't know I'm not gonna spend this episode talking about that that energetic and emotional alchemy is one piece of where I want to bring us through in Undone the other pieces are identity activation and nervous system attunement and with identity activation what I mean by that I don't mean like this fluffy like manifestation stuff what I mean is like who do you actually need to be what what identity is no longer fit and what do you need to let go of to be who you want to be and and watching how when we can activate those identities our behaviors and our actions naturally and organically start to shift so it becomes like this hack almost in shifting our reality instead of feeling like we need to do all this mindset work or change our environment or hire more coaches or

do whatever it is that you think you might have to do there's another there's another way there's a more efficient and simple way and it's to really fine-tune and refine that identity and that self-concept and the story that we're holding around our self-worth. And a beautiful example of kind of a simple way to begin experimenting with this is beginning to notice like what programs you're plugged into into what beliefs you have been holding around your identity for example like perfectionism is a common one or um procrastination or people pleasing or one that shows up in my life a lot that I've noticed kind of create some sticky situations for me is this identity of being really logical. So because I'm holding on to some of those labels as identities, they are

hinting and distorting the way my reality gets reflected back to me, right? Our subconscious is always looking for things to validate what we believe. So if we believe that we need to maintain this identity of being logical or being a people pleaser or being a perfectionist, we are constantly going to have experiences to validate that identity. Instead, when we plug into, hold on, before I get into that, just sharing more about this identity around being logical and how that shows up for me. So this identity, like I've been praised for my entire life being super logical and being wise beyond my years and being mature and I don't even know what else right just just being analytical and this showed up in like getting good grades in school and being really thoughtful and considerate

and thinking things through and where I've noticed this showing up in my life now is actually this massive disconnect to my body because I'm so stuck in my head because that's what I've been praised for for so long. So there's been a lot of work that I've had to consciously do around reconnecting to my body and feeling safe again to really trust the communication that my body's given me because I've literally been programmed and conditioned to spend so much time in my head and to logic my way through things that maybe logic shouldn't even be a part of right when we talk about like intuition and innate desire and stuff like that that's all like body-based when we talk about nervous system stuff that's all body-based and I just shared on Instagram today too this experience that I had earlier this week where I fucking fainted I've

really never fainted in my life but I fainted in my life, but I fainted in my kitchen the other night out of nowhere. And I'm not going to get into that. But what I am going to share from that is, again, recognizing how quick I am to want to intellectualize the experience and want to intellectualize like the meaning behind what happened and what my nervous system was doing or what my nervous system needs from me or what I need to do to shift a state, or like fix or regulate my nervous system, right? Immediately thinking, oh my god, like I, my nervous system shut down, like I went into a full fucking freeze response, what's wrong with me? What did I do or didn't do to get me there. And I began ruminating on that. And that really was me intellectualizing my nervous system when what would have been probably more healing and more

supportive and more beneficial is really just connecting back to my body. And I mean, I did do this, right? I was able to notice it notice this pattern of mine I noticed the pattern of wanting to intellectualize and instead I got to disrupt that pattern and really come back to my body and just allow my body to lead and my body to tell me like what I needed next right and it was pretty simple I needed to go lay down I needed to kind of just have this like energetic reset call my energy back to me because I feel like the past week or so has been energetically dysregulating we've been in a lot of places we've been in a lot of social gatherings my energy has just been in a lot of places right and I also just needed to like have warm nourishing foods and it was that simple and I'm totally fine and here we are but my point with that is like the label of being logical

really shows up in the context of me trying to make decisions in my business or trying to make decisions in my life and constantly wanting to filter it through my logical brain and not necessarily trusting my body and this also shows up in not feeling safe to make impulsive decisions, because if I'm making an impulse decision, that must mean I'm not thinking something through. And again, I've been praised as someone that thinks something through. So it's like this identity that I've been clinging on to, this identity that I want to maintain and maintain a reputation with. And so when we begin to kind of clean slate our identities, what I mean by that is like wipe away all these labels that we've been identifying and clinging to. We then have this clean slate to consciously decide what are we plugging into,

right? And so I can consciously decide to not plug into being a logical person anymore I can consciously decide not to plug into being a people pleaser and being a perfectionism perfectionist and all these other things overachiever whatever it is right and and this all happens with awareness and other tools and strategies that we're going to work through in Undone to really curate an intentional self-concept, right? We are creators of a reality and that starts with bringing our frequency, our essence up to the level of like the things that we're calling in, right? So that we become a right fit match to the things that we're calling in right so that we become a right fit match to the energy that we're calling in so that's what i mean with identity activation it's not like fluffy manifestation stuff it's it's it's really juicy core healing self-worth stuff

and then the third pillar in this retreat is nervous system attunement. And this is a big one. This is probably going to show up in some way in almost every conversation we have in the retreat because we're no longer trying to regulate our nervous systems. Like that is so 2024 y'all. there's this connotation of like control and this need to fix and it really perpetuates and promotes this this feeling of not enoughness right I'm doing something wrong I'm not doing something enough there's something wrong with me there's something wrong with my nervous system do you see where I'm going with this right and that's not the goal the goal is actually to just come into right relationship with our nervous system like Like I said, the goal isn't to intellectualize. The goal is to really begin to embody the wisdom and the communication that our nervous system offers us. And we're not there to try to control or fix.

Instead, we're there to be in relationship with, right? So that looks like tending to and supporting and right just being that radical witness and that supporter and beginning to build our capacity and our resilience and our and our flexibility within our nervous systems like window of tolerance right when we talk about like activating a new identity that often brings our nervous system into activation because anything new, anything unfamiliar feels unsafe. And so our nervous system deems it as a threat. And so instead of trying to like shift that state and control that state, instead we get to use that as like a piece of data and get curious about it

and really just like notice what we're noticing within our body as those things are happening. And then learn to resource ourself internally instead of needing things outside of us to hold that potential discomfort and titrate right into safety. Titrate a little bit to the growth edge and back into safety. And this is how we widen our capacity. This is how we begin to meet and expand our growth edges and have the resiliency and the capacity to go after the things that we're calling in. Because right now, I'm guessing some of your big, dreamy, juicy desires, probably things that you've never spoken out loud, feel really, really unsafe and edgy to your nervous system. So the nervous system piece is so, so important when we're talking about identity activation and going after desires

because we have to get our nervous systems on board. Another thing I've been saying recently is our nervous systems are the CEO to our business, right? And so being in right relationship with them allows us to really show up to our businesses from a more empowered state instead of feeling, again, kind of getting sucked into that victim mode of like, oh, well, again it's like my people pleasing and perfectionism getting in the way or there I am again like devaluing myself and saying yes when I mean no or maybe saying no when I mean yes and it's all of these things so I have already rambled more than I wanted to because I have this clip that I want to share with you about what coming undone means to me.

And so I'm going to take you there next. Like I said, make sure you're listening at 1x speed for this because me walking in the snow is a really peaceful auditory sensation. When I think of coming undone, it's this art of deconditioning and unmasking and shedding old identities and beliefs that no longer fit. and censoring your wildest wisdom literally letting truth move through you like we do that by first kind of getting clear on what's not working where are things feeling really clunky or sticky or Or sticky. Or. I don't know. Just like. You feel like you're doing all the right things. But. You're not actually feeling fulfilled with them.

Maybe also taking an inventory of what does feel good and really using like the senses of the body to guide us here, not just our logic, because you've likely been using your logic all this time, and it's making you feel like a shell of yourself, because you're in some aspects on autopilot, in some aspects following what I call society's to-do list or going after someone else's like version of success I have to have so much space and compassion for this because there's nothing inherently wrong with that that is a beautiful nervous system adaptation ancestrally you've had to do those things to literally maintain survival and maintain a seat at the table and maintain a spot in your tribe. But that's not how we have to live anymore.

And so we are literally rewiring our nervous system to attune to a higher frequency where we're not in survival anymore. And so when we're not in survival, how do we move? How do we breathe? How do we breathe? How do we speak? Where do we spend our money? Who do we hang out with? What do we say yes to?

What do we say no to? How do we fill our days what do we dream about what do we dream about when our dreams are no longer solely about getting out of survival. If we know we're safe, if we know our success is inevitable, if we know that God's source universe has our back and is there to support us,

our wildest desires, our act of sacred service for our own personal healing and the collective. Act of. Sacred. Service. For. Our own personal healing. And the collective. What do we want? This might feel like really big questions and it's very possible that it feels really hard to even think about these things because like I said you've been in a state of survival for so long. You've been in a state of.

Overcommitting. Overachieving. Overdoing. Out of fear that you wouldn't be enough or successful if you didn't do all those things, hasn't felt safe to just radically exist. Because somewhere along the lines, your sense of worthiness has gotten tangled with things that aren't actually true. Not anymore, at least. And so it feels really hard to come up with answers of what do you want. That's okay. This is an exercise you can come back to. This is something that you can kind of create a daily practice of daydreaming. And your mind might actually say that's impossible or that's

delusional or that's crazy. And that's actually evidence that you're getting to the right place. That's the kind of bigness, the kind of potential and possibility we want to start bringing to our awareness and allowing our body to sense into an experience. If your mind is similar to mine and you tend to go down the worst case scenario train and kind of come up with all the reasons that things might not work out or all the the the situations that might happen and our our minds do this, very powerful, very smart, very wise, do this to create a sense of safety and to create a sense of control, to create a sense of almost like self-trust. Okay, I'm prepared for all of these different situations. And again, there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it kind of keeps us in this

closed off, keeps us, it's like a self-created box, box of safety. It's our comfort zone. And so a way to kind of work with this and move around it is instead ask yourself what if and go the best case go down the best case scenario train almost like a a child getting super excited to go somewhere like i wonder self ice cream i wonder what flavors they'll have wonder if mickey mouse will be there i wonder i wonder i wonder right and you see the expansiveness of that and even just the the openness and the the softness that your body kind of enters when you when you start going on that train really got full body chills because that train is powerful that train is limitless and when we can literally start to train our minds by using our body as a compass of what feels good and what

feels delicious and what feels expansive, then literally the possibility and the potential of our reality is limitless. And that's where we're going. We get there by coming undone. We get there by dismantling and crumbling and releasing and composting the boxes, the labels, and the conditions that have been placed around us, that we have subconsciously been placing ourselves into as well. We have to come undone first. We have to untame and rewild and likely start off a little messy, a little vulnerable, a little clunky and again our nervous system is going to say this is this isn't safe because it equates safeness with familiarity so anything that's not familiar feels unsafe even though again that's not inherently true this is where we get stuck in these toxic loops and toxic patterns because there's a sense of safety in familiarity there's a sense of safety in our comfort zone and so we have to break the mold we have to we have to do things that feel unfamiliar and learn to soothe and resource and support our nervous systems as we meet and expand those edges and that's what we're doing

inside undone i could go on and on and on about the potential and the possibility of what you might walk away with. But honestly, that's not up for me to decide. That's not up for me to create a list of things for you to checkbox yourself into. It's for you to assign. And what a beautiful time of year to do this work. What a beautiful way to start off a new year. What a beautiful way to hold space and gratitude for this current year and the previous years and all of the places you've been and the experiences you've had. What a beautiful way to, again, attune to a higher frequency where you aren't in survival anymore, where your default is to notice success all

around you and your default is to notice your gains and your growth instead of being stuck and ruminating on the gaps and all the reasons all the learnt limitations keeping you from your possibility the song do you believe in miracles just came to mind because literally there's miracles all around us all fucking day all we have to do is open our eyes to them all we have to do is open our hearts and our bodies to the possibility of them actually happening to us for us the world can change in an instant i bet you can think of moments in your life where things

did change drastically where things felt like luck or or like a miracle wow i can't believe this happened so quickly i can't believe things are unfolding so easily this feels too good to be true. And maybe you can also, as you're thinking about those experiences, notice where you contracted and braced. Because again, your nervous system said, oh my God, this is unfamiliar. This goodness, this pleasure, this ease, this simplicity is unfamiliar. Therefore, it must be unsafe. And this is where combining mindset and somatic work is so powerful. Because somatically, I think we can get in these loops of, oh, okay, body doesn't feel safe. And then we literally, our reality mirrors that. And so we come back to safeness. And like I said, safeness doesn't necessarily mean it's actually good for us.

So we come back to our comfort zone and then there's an actually growth. And so even though things started to unfold for you, you subconsciouslyly this is where like self-sabotage comes in i don't necessarily believe in sabotage because again these are adaptive protective responses our nervous system our bodies are so fucking wise but this reminds that work is so powerful because we can help change their stories and specifically like identity work and really stepping into a different identity and choosing the embodiment of that identity can be so powerful because it's like this triangle where beliefs thoughts actions environment we can change all those things.

But that's a very slow drip. That's one pathway. It's not the most efficient pathway. The most efficient pathway is to shift our identity. Because when we shift our identity, all of those things shift and crumble and recalibrate organically. And the identity work is twofold right it's it's mind and body because if we just focus on mind our body retracts and if we just focus on on body i mean that sometimes works but if you have a a loud very active very powerful mind like mine we can get stuck in these loops so anyways this is what we're doing in undone we are literally activating a new identity which in turn

causes like a fucking timeline leap in your life in your business and there's a reason that it's stripped out over 12 weeks because I don't want this to feel like something that is just like this one and done intensive over a weekend and then you have to integrate it back into life specifically paced in such a way that there is room for integration there's room for witnessing each other yourself and working out the kinks as they come up moving through your own cycles because again things things feel different our thoughts are different depending on what phase in our own menstrual cycle we're in and so beautiful thing about a 12-week portal is that we get to work with three different seasons

and this is all happening if you're in the northern hemisphere in the season of winter which is a beautiful time for channeling new identities and doing that like below ground work so that as we re-emerge and come out of this portal it'll be right around springtime and seasonally naturally that's a beautiful time to just beginning to nourish those seeds that are planted and kind of it's fertile new beginnings blah blah blah blah so this is what we're doing this is where we're going message me if you want to save your spot um yeah let's do it okay there you have it a full episode about the undone retreat of course all the links are going to be in the show notes. I also have an FAQ section that I will link, likely answering some of your burning questions. And of course,

if you want to have a conversation with me and really discern if this is the right experience for you in this season of your life, then my DMs are open. I'd be happy to set up a Zoom call or even going back and forth on Voxer or anything like that. And once again, the doors are closing on Wednesday, January 8th, and we officially start with an opening circle on Monday, January 13th, which is the first full moon of the year.