REWILD + FREE - What you won't find on the UNRULY sales page (IG LIVE April 25)

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

TIME SENSITIVE!!! UNRULY STARTS ON MAY 1!!! Unruly is an 8 week round table + biz lab for neurodivergent/neurosomething LOL coaches, doulas, and healers Unruly is where someone will name that thing you've been experiencing but didn't have words for We get to witness ourselves by witnessing each other Access it ALL for $660 or join the round table only for $440

Hello, hello. Okay, jumping on live because I realized I haven't talked about Unruly in the way I actually want to talk about Unruly. And so this whole conversation is going to be basically what you won't find on the sales page for Unruly. And in case you don't know, Unruly is a eight week roundtable and business lab that I am hosting specifically for neurodivergent or table and business lab that I am hosting specifically for neurodivergent or neuro something coaches doulas and healers and I say like neuro something because I feel like there's a lot of us including myself who are still struggling with able aversion label aversion label aversion and I wouldn't even say that it's a struggle it It's just like this inner spiral of like, where do I actually fit here? Like who do I feel like I am? Where do I stand in all of this?

There's obviously a lot of patholod... Why am I trying to say so many big words in this conversation? Let's dumb it down, Nicole. Like the whole diagnostic criteria for neurodivergence is being pathologized, and that can be a whole other conversation. But that is a conversation that I would like to have in Unruly. Um, but really, like, what I want to name here

is that my intention with Unruly, because it is a roundtable, it's not me standing on my soapbox telling you everything I know and pretending that I'm some expert about like how to live your best neurodivergent life. That's not it at all. I really don't have a fucking clue about how you can live your best neurodivergent life. I don't even know if you believe in the neurodivergent label but I do want to call in the people that are exploring their own quirks and rhythms and recognizing that they just don't quite fit into the societal constructs, the molds, the

definitions of success and consistency and productivity that society has handed to us. And I'm making a big assumption here, but I think a lot of those people are neurodivergent or at least they're recognizing that their brains don't work the same way as like quote-unquote a neurotypical white dude. So that's who Unruly is for and really like I said it's for the coaches, the doulas, and healers, specifically the people that are facilitating and holding space for other people just because you guys are my people. Like you are entrepreneurs, you are the ones cultivating this life that is already kind of outside of the norms in some way. You already are unruly. And so let's just kind of like take it

one step further. And I was thinking about it this morning, I was thinking about how further. And I was thinking about it this morning. I was thinking about how Unruly really is that place where, you know, you're in conversation with someone and they name something and you're like, oh my God, that's exactly how I feel. I just didn't have the language for it. That's what I want to happen in this experience. That's why it's a round table. It's so that we can be sitting together because there's so much power and potency and freedom and healing in being able to witness yourself by witnessing someone else, right? That's why this isn't like a one-on-one offering with me. That's why it's not me teaching this curriculum and it's not like a self-paced listen in your own time thing.

It's something to sit at a table, virtually of course, and have these conversations and pull on different threads together. And there's going to be space for nuance, there's going to be space for disagreement, there's going to be space to really be activated in some powerful ways so that you can explore yourself and meet yourself in places that you maybe haven't before. It really is kind of this combination of where business talk gets to meet like nervous system talk, which also gets to meet like what actually feels good for me talk.

And I feel like there's not a lot of places that are intersecting all of those things at once. This also isn't all about business. So there's a reason that I've kind of separated the round table calls and the business lab calls. I really want this to be accessible and something that, hold on, let me backtrack. I personally feel like the business world has completely compartmentalized business and it makes it seem like it's this thing that is completely separate from you

and that like you need to have these like perfectly clean boundaries between you and your business. And I absolutely agree that we shouldn't be like tangling our self-worth with our business. But I also want to say that if you have a personal brand, and like I said, if you are a facilitator, a coach, a spaceholder, you are in relationship with people, then like there is a marriage between you and your business. You are your business. Your personal brand is you, and we need to infuse that personalness back into your personal brand. And so in my kind of world, business can't be compartmentalized. So when we're talking about business, we're also talking about like our inner worlds and our own just like points of friction and sticky points and like what's going good, what's

not going good. And like you can't ignore the things happening in your life when you are meant to like go show up and facilitate and hold space with another human. Our nervous systems get to bridge that relationship. Our nervous system are what creates that sense of safety and we're co-regulating with our clients. So we can't compartmentalize those things. And so what I was saying is like there's the roundtables and there's the business lab and it's separated because I know that the roundtables are going to be nuanced and in every single direction and not necessarily business specific, but because this is for coaches, doers, healers, and entrepreneurs, I want there to be a specific space for integration to literally land and

try on for size all the things that have been stirred up from the roundtable calls and actually play and put it into your business in real time. And so the business lab is optional. You can join just the roundtable calls if you're not in a season of being super active in your business. So that's what I meant with like the accessibility. I don't want people to think, oh well like I don't really want like more business training right now. I mean this isn't business training at all, but if you're not in a season of actively being in relationship with your business,

then the roundtable is still going to be really, really, really valuable for you. is still going to be really, really, really valuable for you. What else do I want to name? I want to name that one of the biggest threads that I see being pulled in Unruly is like the invisible threads that we might be unconscious to, but I really want to kind of be conscious of around things like capitalism and internalized ableism and just the different systems of oppression that have really

been critical in forming like who we think we are and forming like the ideologies and the beliefs and the constructs that we're kind of living our life by, right? The rules and the shoulds and the expectations, like really bringing language to where that's coming from. And obviously like that's, that's going to pull on different threads just, just as a starting out point, right? And it's going to, like I said, like it might be related to business, but it's also going to, it's going to shine light on different facets of your life too.

It's going to shine light on how you're showing up in your role potentially as a mother and a wife. How you show up to holding space for yourself and your own self-care. What it looks like to actually, like your definition of having like a clean house and like your gender constructs that you're holding around like who does the grocery shopping, who does the cooking, like it's all of it. And like my mind can't compartmentalize it. So in Unruly, we aren't.

We it's all, it's all, it's all there. It's all there. And I really want to also name that I think for the people coming into Unruly, you are the type of person that have, you've already been on this like personal exploration journey, you're already into like personal growth, and you have this desire to understand yourself better. And I think, and I've been here and I still find myself in this place where it almost becomes a subcession to be better, right? I just want to be a better version of myself. And I really want to kind of like, just like, erase that language for us, because I don't think there's such thing.

And I think that can almost be obsessive. What I really want to invite us into is like, can we actually just become more like ourselves? More like our truest, like nature, our truest essence. Can we actually like meet who that is and begin to express that version? And so it's really about, I mean, this language feels almost overused at this point, but it's about unmasking, right? It's about getting rid of the layers and the shoulds and the expectations and yeah, just all the things that society has kind of asked us to be and really exploring like, who am I really? And it's about falling in love with that version of yourself, right?

Being able to meet that version without shame, without judgment, without this desire to like fix and solve, but actually like, how do I actually just meet you for who you are? It's, it's a place of acceptance. Um, and I also want to say, like I've said already that this is a round table, but more than that, it's, it's a place where we don't pretend to know. That we know better than our body. So it's coming into right relationship with our nervous system too, and really meeting ourselves in our current capacity and in our current state of like, overwhelm and like just recognizing like, oh, I'm actually quite sensitive to this, or actually like, I'm craving stimulation

here and just beginning to learn what that looks like. Again, without the shame, without the judgment, without trying to figure out like what's right or wrong or good or bad. And I think a lot of this will come by being in community with one another because like I said, being able to witness yourself by witnessing someone else is so, so powerful. And like I said from the beginning, being able to hear someone else's story and be like, oh my god, that's exactly how I feel. I just didn't have language for it. It's that. It's that like over and over and over and over and over again. Also, my phone is, the front facing camera is cracked. So if you're wondering what this cool filter is on my phone, it's not a filter. It's just a crack on my screen.

Um, okay. What else do I want to say? Um, I guess just being more clear about what the roundtable calls are going to look like. So I've already kind of created each roundtable to have a certain theme. So each, there's going to be four different roundtables. So the first one, the theme is all around reclaiming pre-colonial rhythms. What the fuck does that mean? What that means is like actually looking at what your most natural to you rhythm, pace, like way creation and productivity moves through you before your mind got colonized, before you started buying into society's definition of like consistency and before you started tangling productivity with self-worth. Like what does it actually look like if you were just in deep trust? Again, no judgment, no shame

around your natural pace and energy. And so I actually have a cycle of creation workbook that I'll be sharing. And there's a reason this is the first round table call because beginning to use this cycle of creation workbook right from the beginning is gonna be so, so powerful. In it, it's basically a tool to track how your natural energy moves, your

natural rhythm. It's looking at your inner and outer cycles. And so if you, um, already track your menstrual cycle, it's kind of a deep dive into that, but it's also looking at like the outer seasons and also like the lunar cycles, if you follow that. And just beginning to notice like, oh, like, there's a pattern here where every month I notice I, I have this natural urge to like follow through and get shit done.

Like that's really important to know. And then it really helps you to begin to potentially like in your business, align like your offers and your launches around that. Or maybe you been begin to notice that I know, for example, for me, I know I have very natural patterns, ebbs and cycles where I have motivation and desire to journal or to read every night. And then there's also periods in my month where I don't. And I've been able to release the shame and judgment of like, oh, why can't I just stick to like a journaling routine? Why can't

I be that person that journals every day? I've recognized because that's just not how like creation wants to move through me. That's just not how my cycle, my cyclical energy, my natural rhythm is. And yeah, this is especially useful specifically in creation, right? So again, I've been able to use this tool, this tracker to really have more peace, I guess, and acceptance around how I create like offers and how I create like just birth new things into the world, right? Like it's not linear and I think we all know that. We all can intellectualize what that means, but this cycle of creation workbook that I've created is really, really helpful to just get to know what that actually looks like

for you and have like that tangible embodied evidence of it. So yeah, that's where we're starting. Within reclaiming pre-colonial rhythms, I also just want to talk about things like procrastination and hyperfocus and perfectionism. And I feel like all of those things, we can be really quick to, again, shame and think, oh, well, like, I just have to like heal my perfectionism or I just have to get over, I just have to, what does it look like? Like, I feel like with procrastination, we often think that that's like a freeze response to the nervous system. And maybe it is, or maybe it's actually like a natural part of the way creation moves through

you. And by doing the cycle of creation tracker, you'll begin to learn that that might be the case for you. And that maybe procrastination is actually like a sacred pause and it happened all the time. It's kind of literally like the outer seasons outside, like fall and winter, right? Like that has to happen. We don't shame the trees for not growing

for several months out of the year. What does that actually look like in your life? Yeah, so really kind of like de-shaming some of those big words that I think in the coaching and like healing industry, there's just a lot of talk of like, you know, you need to like heal that part of you and that part of you is wrong and wounded and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. These roundtable calls, I also want to say, like, my intention is I'm kind of starting us with the anchor.

We're anchoring to that theme. I'm introducing the theme. I'm going to share kind of my experience with it. But then the rest of the call is just going to be like popcorn. It's just going to be like popcorn conversation where we are pulling on threads with one another. And again, it's that I'm witnessing myself by witnessing you. So it's gonna be powerful and I literally can't even tell you what it's gonna look like because it depends who's on the call with me.

And of course these calls will be recorded. So if you can't come live, the replay is there for you. And then there's also a separate Slack channel so that we can have real time integration so that whether you're live on the call or you are watching the replay as you're having these like aha moments or maybe like asking bigger questions about yourself, you have the Slack group to actually have a place to land. There's a space to drop like the spiral that's keeping you up at night or the juicy bit of brilliance that popped in your brain

like 4 a.m. There's a spot for that. And then the second round table is zone of genius and creative alchemy. And so what do I mean by that? What I mean by that is like, let's actually have a conversation about what it might look like to turn your gifts and like what feels easy to you, what feels natural to you, what probably feels really edgy to be compensated for because there's like, who, like, unearth it and look at what that would look like

if that becomes kind of the baseline of your body of work, right? And again, that there's no like curriculum or formula that I can hand you to tell you what that is. This happens in conversation, this happens by witnessing yourself while you're witnessing other people also explore their own kind of zone of genius. So yeah, I really believe that when we can, when we can kind of tune into what our zone of genius is, when we can actually like follow the, the energy of what feels easeful, what feels fun, what brings joy, that's how we build

non-extractive businesses. That's how we avoid things like burnout. That's how we kind of like keep the fire, that fiery passion burning. It's when we fall out of that, that we start like doing things out of obligation and we start doing things because we think we should do them.

And so this call, this conversation, I suspect will really illuminate a lot of the shoulds and the societal expectations and the rules that you might be following. And then it's an opportunity to kind of consciously decide, like, wait, I don't actually subscribe to that anymore. And then the integration of it. So what do you subscribe to? What like, what joy, what pleasure, what ease do you want to follow? What do you want to lean into?

And then the third round table is self-accommodation and power. And so this is exploring like this idea that self-accommodation isn't a crutch. It's actually a pathway to power. And we'll say that again, that self-accommodation isn't a crutch. It's a pathway to power. I think for so many of us, we think if we need accommodations, if we think we need extra support, if we think we need more than what someone else that we're watching needs, that must mean there's something wrong with us. That must mean we're too needy or we just don't

have our life figured out. And it's really disempowering to kind of swirl on that energy. And so instead, I want to offer this idea that like, self-accommodation isn't a crutch, it's our pathway to power. When we start to begin to choose self-honor instead of self-betrayal, that again is how we can build businesses that don't lead to burnout. That is how we can really just move towards our zone of genius and be in flow with our life force energy. What often happens is we will, we have shame around what our struggle is. And so again, being in this round table setting, shame dissolves when it's witnessed. So being able to name it and have someone else be like, oh my God, me too. All of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm not alone. And it breaks that cycle of silence and that shame gets dissolved. And like I said, we think that the

problem is our struggle, but the problem is actually the shame that we have around that struggle. So this conversation is really about like de-shaming where we're struggling and really beginning to not gaslight our struggles and our challenges because we do live in a world that doesn't necessarily support the way our energy and our brains work. So there is going to be challenges, there is going to be struggles, but that doesn't mean we need to internalize those struggles and those challenges as something that's wrong with us and something that we need to solve or fix. Instead we need to strategize and think of, okay, how can I actually support myself here? How can I choose self-honoring instead of self-betrayal?

And so, like I said, this might not even be business specific, or maybe it is. It will just depend kind of what's alive for you in the moment. This might be related to grocery shopping. This might be related to self-care. This might be related to grocery shopping. This might be related to self-care. This might be related to relationships. And this might be related to business, right? It gets to be all of it. So yeah, what else can I say about this round table?

Like I think, again, all of these round tables, I'm starting with this anchor and then I'm just gonna let it evolve to whatever it is. So it depends who's on the call. But I could also see this becoming a conversation around like rest, right? Like where are we still using or seeing rest as a reward? Where are we kind of holding on to this belief that like ease and joy and pleasure aren't available to us until we've, you know, like worked really hard and sacrificed in some way.

I think that, yeah, I mean that, like, I'm not to put words into someone else's mouth, but I think that is something that is underlying a lot of our, just a lot of our perspectives. And I don't even think we're conscious of it. It's the water that we're swimming in. It's really all that's ever been modeled to us, right? We're still kind of running on these beliefs, these codes that success has to come with sacrifice. So where can we make our lives easier? Where can we kind of release that self-inflicted chokehold that we're potentially putting on ourselves because of all the societal conditioning? And this is where we can begin to learn like how to actually self-accommodate, how to actually

like meet ourselves in the moment instead of gaslight are real hard and challenges. And obviously this will probably touch on like nervous system stuff and yeah, just like how do you actually like support and tend to your body in the moment. Okay, and then the fourth one, the fourth round table is all about uncensoring and unmasking. And I want to name right off the get-go that this isn't about like having a t-shirt that centers your neurodivergence, right? This isn't about like coming out of the closet and having your entire identity or business around your neurodivergence. If that's like the path you're on, cool.

But what this really is, is like this subtle uncensoring, this subtle unmasking. This is about exploring where you're still kind of pretending that you... Okay, hold on, let me backtrack. So the metaphor that I've been playing with on the Unruly Sales page is that we're zebras, but we've been trying to live in a horse world, right? We've been trying to live in a world that's built for horses when we're actually this like wild free-spirited zebra. And if you buy into that, then the idea of uncensoring and unmasking gets to become where are you still pretending that you're a horse, right? Where are you not actually meeting your true zebra essence? So yeah, this gets to also be looking at like how to express and create

from a place of truth, not from a place of performance, not from a place of, well, I've seen it done this way, so this is what I have to do. Not from a place of survival either, because I want to name that so many of us, like our nervous systems have done such an incredible job of keeping us safe. And safety has come with fitting in, right? It hasn't been safe to fit in. It hasn't been safe to actually be a zebra because in previous generations, the zebras got killed. I mean, not actually, but go along with me, right?

So now potentially, hopefully, depending on kind of the life you have created for yourself, I want to say that it is safe to be a zebra, right? And if it's not yet, then hopefully you're beginning to build a life where it's safe for you to begin expressing your zebra-ness. So yeah, unmasking and uncensoring, I suppose like in marketing, that looks like not diluting your truth. It looks like actually kind of like allowing some of your quirks and your spiciness to actually be seen. It looks like rambling, if that's how you talk, as opposed to trying to script things out. And then this might not even be about business, right? Maybe this actually looks like being able to uncensor what your truth is when you ask

for support and that's how you can accommodate yourself. Maybe this looks like here's an example, a funny example. So I have really begun to recognize my sensitivities around light and I have a vision disability too, so that's part of it but I'm also recognizing that my neurodivergence just I get overstimulated by all the different things coming in and so I'll go downstairs and all the kitchen lights will be on and that is just like too much for me and in the past I would have just like swallowed up the discomfort assuming that it's annoying for people if I turn off the lights but But the thing is, is half the time when I go downstairs, there's no one else in the kitchen.

So why the fuck am I making myself turn the lights on? Or turn, why, why am I making myself keep the lights on? And instead, I've been meeting myself and turning the lights off. And obviously that's an example of self accommodation, but it also gets to be an example of like, uncensoring and unmasking because I'm not trying to pretend that I'm just gonna like that I'm okay with it. I'm actually potentially telling someone like, look, I need the lights off right now for my own comfort. So it gets to be about censoring or centering your own comfort potentially for the first time in your life. Wow. What a thing. I think this also looks like just kind of

exploring the idea of what performance looks like online. And again, this is probably unconscious. Like, I don't think anyone thinks that they're performing online. But when you begin to kind of meet yourself and realize, oh wait, that isn't actually my truth. I'm just doing that to fit in or because I felt that's what I should do. That's what unmasking and uncensoring can look like, right? It's about actually like leaning into your own truth. So again, this can go in so many

different directions. And this is why it's a roundtable. Because I don't want to I really don't have any expectation of what this could look like. This is just a conversation to see what's alive for you. And yeah, really have that kind of popcorn conversation and pull on pull on threads that we're all bringing to the table. So yeah, those are the four round tables. There's also the Business Lab component, which I already named is optional. It's, I'd say it's more specific for someone that is just more actively in their business right now

and really wants to integrate the things that get stirred up within those round table calls into their business. I kind of see the business lab as this big dressing room to like, it's literally like you're walking into a store and you get to try all these different things on for size, right? There's no prescription. There's no like, this is the strategy you should do. This is the next like productivity hack that you should do because you have ADHD. Like it doesn't, like life doesn't work that way. I mean, you've probably tried to like do that stuff already and it's not working.

So this business lab really gets to be this giant dressing room to kind of soundboard and strategize different things to play with. It's about play. And the business lab component is two extra calls. So it'll be the, you get access to the round table calls, but then you get access to two additional calls specific for the business lab integration side of things. And yeah, those will be like completely open. So it can be kind of like spot coaching with me, if that's what you're looking for. It can also just be like riffing and soundboarding and just kind of strategizing like unconventional shit that we haven't seen done before. Maybe you have these wild ideas and you really just need some like celebration and solidarity. Like that's what you're going to get in the business lab.

The business lab side also gets you access to bi-weekly co-working sessions. So again, if you're active in your business and you're wanting to try these different things on for size, you've come to the dressing room and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna try that this week. I'm gonna explore this next week. The co-working sessions are a place to actually get shit done, right?

Because we all know that some accountability is nice. And I also want to name that like, there can be a lot of shame around needing accountability, but I think there's a difference between like, how do I want to word this? I guess I just want to name that like, it takes time to build that self trust in yourself to actually like again, trust your pace and trust your natural rhythms. So that that accountability can actually just be a container for you while you're building that self trust. That gets to be that simple. Trying to think what else?

I had some bullet notes to follow that I didn't really follow. I'm just trying to see if there's anything I missed. I wrote down that if you're always marketing from performance mode, people never get to meet the real you. And I think in the conversation around unmasking and uncensoring, and like I said, that performance can kind of be unconscious. When we start bringing language to it and we start exploring what that might actually look like for you in your business and in your life. It's one of those like you can't unsee it once you see it.

And it can kind of be a mindfuck because you're like, oh wait, well, I don't even know how to be my real self because I realized I've been performing all along. And so you get to soften into that by reminding yourself that, oh my God, if I can actually take that mask off, if I can stop performing, if I can give myself the permission to just show up fully as I am, rambly, stinky, unfiltered, spicy, whatever it is, that means when I'm actually in relationship with clients, right, when I've actually, like, I'm not just marketing anymore,

I'm actually in relationship with a client, someone's hired me, I don't have to keep performing, right? Because they've already chosen to hire you based on all of you. And so again, it just gets to make business so much more useful. It means that you're not walking away from client calls, from sessions, feeling completely tapped out. It means that you're actually like being lit up by those sessions because you're not draining yourself by trying to be someone you're not. That's how sneaky like performance can be.

Okay. That was a lot. I wanted this one to be short and I don't think it was. Thank you to everyone that's listened. Unruly starts next Thursday. It starts on May 1st. There is some flexibility right now with the call times. If the call times that you see on the sales page do not work for you, but you are very much interested

in joining, please let me know. I might be course correcting. I might be shifting that. So let me know. Like I said, it's eight weeks. There's the four roundtable calls. There's the option to join the business lab. And yeah, honestly, like I think it's just going to be this really juicy place to pull on all these different threads that I'm gonna guess you're, you're laying awake at night trying to solve on your own. And I don't even think there are things to solve. I think they're just things that need to be discussed in, in community. So come join the community.