REWILD + FREE - When your own rules stop working: how to trust your own rhythm

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

What happens when the structures and routines you built to support yourself… stop working?What if you’re not lazy, just in a different season?And honestly, WTF does lazy even mean?What does it say about you if you’re less “productive” than usual? (And… what is usual?)In this episode, recorded barefoot on my deck (yep, you’ll hear the wind #sorrynotsorry), I’m sharing what’s been moving through my client work, and through my own body. There’s a quiet but fierce call to stop pushing, stop obeying the inner cop, and finally let our rhythms shift. To let the supports evolve, instead of assuming something’s broken just because it stopped working. And to recognize that it might not be clairity you're seeking in life + biz, it's actually self trust. You'll hear:A powerful client breakthrough around non-linear motivation and internalized “shoulds”Why apathy, numbness, and stillness can feel unsafe (and what to do with that)How to use my Cycle of Creation prompts to track your real rhythm, NOT the one capitalism trained you to craveA permission slip to soften, recalibrate, and trust your pace againDetails on my ALIVE sessions + the birthday bundle I’ve put together for this summerThis isn’t about hacking your energy or getting more done.It’s about listening deeply.Letting yourself be changed.And trusting that your rhythm (no matter how messy, quiet, or non-linear) is sacred.Exhale with me. You’re right on time.🌀 CYCLE OF CREATION PROMPTS (to explore your rhythm)Let these become *almost* daily reflections to PLAY with Date:I’m on cycle day...Current lunar phase:Energy level rating (1–5) — and describe:Creative flow rating (1–5) — and describe:My body is feeling...My mind is saying...I choose to believe (affirm)...Ta-da list (what I did, not what I should’ve):Ways I experienced abundance (or another word that describes what you're wanting to feel in this season):A moment to remember:As always, I'd love to hear what stirs or lands for you in this conversation. And let me know if you end up tracking your own creative rhythm! Send me an unscripted voice note on IG (@nicolepasveer) and let me know! P.S. Share this episode (or one of your faves) on IG and tag me @nicolepasveer to enter my birthday giveaway! At the end of June, I’ll randomly draw someone to receive $100 off a session or bundle with me!

You're listening to Rewild and Free. This is the go-to podcast for conscious and holistic entrepreneurs who are ditching society's to-do list for intentional living, freedom, and abundance. If we haven't met yet, I'm Nicole Pazvir. I'm an ex-nurse turned matressants guide and business coach, leading women just like you into the new paradigm. Keep listening if you're ready to unsubscribe from patriarchal motherhood, bro marketing, and boss babe culture.

Because in this space, we use nature as our framework as we move towards feminine embodied business development, cyclical orientation, and slow living. Together, let's rewild and remember as we break free from survival and reconnect to what truly matters. Okay friend, steep your tea and take the most loving breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. breath you've given to yourself today and let's go. Hello, welcome to another episode of Rewild and Free. This one is being recorded on my deck. I'm currently on my rocking chair, glider chair thingy, sitting in the sun.

I just realized I have to pee and so now I have this choice do I press pause and go pee or do I just rock through it and maybe this will be motivation to keep the episode short. Oh my gosh I feel like the nervous system coach in me would say honor your body bitch and pause this to go pee. But you know what? I don't have to pee that bad. So I'm just going to sit here with a bladder

that is filling up and I'm gonna keep talking because I don't want this one to be long. So, oh my gosh, here we go. I really wanna talk about this idea of what it actually means to trust your pace and, you know, trust and honor your rhythm and actually be a cyclical human being because whether you believe it or not you are. Like I think the world society culture has really fed us this belief, this lie that growth needs to be linear.

And I'm just gonna assume that if you're in this space, if you're listening to me, and yeah, like if you're here, you don't believe that growth needs to be linear. You do believe that growth is cyclical and that we are cyclical beings. And obviously, especially if you are potentially neurodivergent or sensitive or, you know, a human with a uterus, you are definitely more cyclical and your pace, your natural rhythm is not quote

unquote consistent and it's not what society has made us believe is optimal. And I just want to, yeah, I guess just give language to that and maybe offer you like a really big permission slip that you maybe didn't know you needed that we're not supposed to be on all the time. And obviously I look to nature as a mirror and as a teacher for a lot of my work. And as we know nature like think about like plants and flowers and trees and stuff like they are not in

full bloom all the time they have very distinct seasons and cycles and like each each plant has a different pace to their growth, right? If you've seen those reels where it's showing like a flower growing and coming into full bloom, you can see that it's like constant contraction and expansion, right? It's this kind of like push and pull, it's this titration, and we see that in birth too when a woman's in labor. Her contractions, there's literal contraction before there's expansion, and there's also moments of like a sacred pause and a slowing down before kind of the final push of labor. And I just kind of want to invite that at the start of this conversation as maybe a mirror for yourself and like maybe even just taking a

a pause right here like literally pressing pause um and just reflecting on what your relationship is to your own cycles and seasons and i'm not even talking about like cycles in the sense of menstruation but more like cycles and seasons of creativity and maybe more specifically like your relationship to seeing your business through the lens of cycles and seasons and yeah just like your creative cycles, your creative pace. So seriously press pause. Okay and now if you're coming back or I mean maybe you didn't listen to me and you didn't press pause that's fine let's keep going. In session this week I was working with a client and I mean she came into the session identifying that she had been feeling quite apathetic she didn't use that language the language

she did use was feeling a little bit heavy feeling unmotivated, just kind of having this desire to go lay in bed and just scroll on her phone or go watch Netflix. She found herself feeling like easily distracted, like craving, craving to be distracted and pulled out of kind of her work right now. And obviously like I'm sure you've been there, I know I've been there. And that particular feeling often comes with a lot of shame and judgment, right? It doesn't feel good to be in that place. I think especially for those of us

who have probably been like overachievers in our lifetime and may or may not be kind of perfectionists. And, you know, we have like a growth mindset. We're ambitious, for lack of a better word word and sometimes that ambition gets the best of us and that ambition is literally what can teeter us into burnout and teeter us into abandoning our body and I mean truthfully abandoning our own our own cycle seasons and rhythms and so I just want to also name that like the shame and judgment that comes with that is super normal. Like again, we have been conditioned. We've literally lived in a society and a culture that has praised us for

outwards and upwards growth. We've been praised for always being on, being that flower that's constantly in full bloom, being in a perpetual season of summer, if you will. And so it's really uncomfortable to not be experiencing that. It's also really uncomfortable when we, again, have identified or been praised as someone that is ambitious and gets things done and is productive. And obviously there's a lot of tangling too around

self-worth and productivity and I feel like I'm not going to directly speak to that I feel like I do indirectly speak to that in almost all of my my episodes in some way um and that is kind of an undercurrent of everything I'm saying here but what's more direct and specific is that shame and that inner judgment of being perceived as lazy. And I think this is, again, especially true if you're neurodivergent and or if you're a human with a uterus. Because, like I said, we just don't match the pace of what society says we should. And so it's really easy to kind of say, oh, well, I'm lazy, or like, this isn't good

because I've been told this is like what a lazy person does. And again, in session yesterday, we were kind of able to go deeper and identify that like being that person that goes and lays in bed in the middle of the afternoon or scrolls on their phone for longer than their boundary that they've set for themselves or watches, binges a whole like season of Netflix when they know they'd rather or they think they'd rather be reading a book or like listening to a podcast or catching up on

modules that they've you know committed to and paid for. It's so easy to to deem that as like lazy and to start thinking oh something's wrong like all of the work I've been doing all of the internal growth and exploration and you know nervous system supports that I've begun to build into my life, it's not working. It feels like something's not working, something must be wrong. We identified that this person ultimately was making meaning out of that and feeling like I am basically an unworthy piece of shit kind of human being if that's how I'm spending my days.

And again, that is so relatable, right? Like I could, I mean, I'm speaking to you about this from the context of a client session because that's where the inspiration came from. But honestly, like I see myself in this story too. I have been here and I still have days like that. But what's going on here is just the internalized conditioning that is still existing and the lack of self-trust that happens when we aren't like trusting our own pace and rhythm. So when you get in those moments, almost like a drought, when you get in those moments

of just completely slowing down, sometimes it feels like it's never gonna end and panic kind of sets in because yeah, you are low-key internalizing that to mean that you are a lazy piece of shit and so a lot of fear also creeps in when you think oh my god this is gonna be me forever and now i am just a lazy piece of shit human period right like you completely forget about all of the other aspects of your life and all of the other qualities and the very real fact that like that's not gonna last.

So, um, essentially like in session we we really went deep into what was being experienced in her body and of course like what what beliefs and assumptions she was holding about herself and we were able to create some space there and really let the body lead in terms of giving her the answers and the wisdom that she was seeking in like how to best soothe and tend herself in those moments and what was really interesting is she had been kind of feeling like oh well I just need to get back into like my normal routines like the routines that I know have worked in the past and oh my god this is just also such a relatable moment and the best

metaphor I have for this is there are certain supports and resources that we need to lean into in different seasons. I feel like I've shared this in another episode but I don't remember where and I'm just going to talk about it again because it is such a good metaphor and such a good example to kind of really ground this this idea in and so I Mean in winter if you live in a climate that is cold in winter You need to wear like a winter coat and you need to have a hat and potentially Scarves and mitts and stuff in order to keep yourself safe and warm, right? That is the type of support and resource you need to lean into in that season. In the

summertime, if you were to still be gripping onto those supports, those resources, those things that were working, like if you were so rigid about that, about your routine and the things that you needed because you know they've worked before, you could literally've worked before you could literally kill yourself you could literally kill yourself by wearing that snow coat and the hat and the mitts and the scarf and the boots and the furnace on in your house and the fireplace going all of that that could literally kill you on like the hottest days of summer right in summer you need completely different, you need completely different resources, you need completely different supports. And so just like in life and in

business, you also need different resources and supports, you need different routines that match your shift in energy and your shift in needs. And anyways, in session, we recognized that she was kind of putting pressure on herself to lean into what used to work. And of course, like the medicine and all of that was recognizing that, oh, wait a minute. One of the biggest ahas she had was that she needs something completely. And you know, this is so relatable and it shows up in such sneaky ways, right? It could be as simple as your morning routine.

It could also be the foods that you're craving. Again, like the foods that we naturally gravitate to in the winter and the summer are completely different. I'm using winter and summer because they're polar opposites and so it's really easy to see the shift and understand the example here. But some of the subtle ways it shows up is like potentially growing out of a coach that was mind-blowingly awesome and now isn't scratching that itch anymore and not feeling like something's wrong with you

or that something's wrong with that coach or that there was a rupture in that relationship, but more simply that like it's just a different season and that you have different needs. Another example of this is allowing yourself to pivot in the offers that you have. Depending on the season that you're in, your energy is going to be different, your desires are also going to be different, and so allowing your business, allowing your offer suite to match that is just so

impactful. I feel like a lot of talk out there in the business world is have one signature offer and sell it out and have a waitlist and just start rinsing and just rinse and repeat that and have the evergreen and blah blah blah blah blah. And you know, that's really cool if that works for you. But I'm going to guess that you're if you are someone that really wants to honor their nervous system and not fuck with it, that actually doesn't feel that good. Like it feels suffocating at times because no different wearing a winter coat in the

summer. Like that literally would be suffocating. Another subtle example is, I mean this one is maybe easy to relate to if you have a relationship with your menstrual cycle. The things that you need, the things that your body needs and craves when you're menstruating are completely different than when you're ovulating. And so again, kind of looking through that lens but at a wider angle of like, okay, how is my cyclicalness? How is my cyclical nature showing up in the way I move through my business, right? And so this can kind of be looked at through both a micro and a macro lens. And it gets really, really fun and can be really, really empowering when you show up as a

radical witness to it all, right? When you stop internalizing those shifts, stop kind of putting them on a hierarchy of like, this is good and this is bad, right? Ovulating energy is good, summer energy is good, but winter energy is bad. Like if you stop doing that and you start neutralizing them all, then those moments, those days where your energy is,

quote unquote, lower, where you are maybe feeling less motivation, where you're feeling feeling less motivation, where you're feeling apathetic, maybe you're feeling numb, like you don't make meaning about that anymore. It's just like, oh, okay, cool. Like this is happening today. No different than a day when it's cloudy and you know the sun is always going to come back, right? The sun never stops shining.

It's just like a different orientation to it and I think it's it's really impactful when we can start kind of softening into that framework I guess you could call it in our life using using it as a mirror in our life because as I said from the beginning we're not supposed to always in full bloom and so what I also wanted to share here, and I feel like I've been wanting to make an actual something out of this, whether it's like a more formal PDF or even like a little like group experiment out of it, but that hasn't happened.

So instead, I'm just gonna give you the prompts. I've been playing with, I've been working with what I call the cycle of creation prompts. And this is a way to begin to collect data for yourself, begin to explore what your cycles, what your rhythm looks like throughout the different seasons, right? And so it's not even about like matching it to like winter and summer. I mean, it could be, it's also about looking at it through like your menstrual cycle, like what day of your menstrual cycle you're on and also in relation to the lunar cycle and

just starting to begin to reflect on how you naturally want to move through the world when you kind of pull back from the conditioning and the shoulds. So these prompts are really loose-ended. It's funny, like I've done this a couple times now where I kind of set the intention of doing this for at least 30 days. Obviously if you could do this for like a 90-day chunk that would be awesome because you're going to get three cycles out of it to really start seeing the patterns for yourself. But even just bringing intention around some of the more kind of intense shifts can be really, really valuable. And why this is so impactful is because then when you hit those moments that you have kind

of put on a hierarchy of good or bad, those different, you know, the duality of intensity, right? When you hit the not so good side of it, which again is just the language and the way we've defined it, but when you hit that that crunchy side to it You no longer Feel all doom and gloom and like oh my god I'm gonna be here forever you have full trust that okay. I've been here before and I know it doesn't last I also know that this is very normal for me to experience at this point in my cycle. With another client, we were able to recognize how procrastination for her wasn't actually

something that she needed to, you know, quote unquote, heal and like get over. It was actually just a very natural point of her creation process. And that was so empowering for her to realize because now when she meets that point, when she's working on a project or about to launch something, doesn't you know shame and judge herself she doesn't like quickly go down the the self-doubt train and start looking outside of herself for ways to fix it and like hire a coach and hire trainings to like get herself out of it she's just like kind of rides that wave because she knows it doesn't last and that it's just a part of her process. And it empowers her to really trust that pace.

And that's the whole point of all this is to begin to trust your pace to reclaim your rhythm. And so I'm going to leave the little prompts that I have in the show notes. And basically what I suggest you do, this is what I've done in the past is I really just write them on a post-it note and I let that post-it note move with me on like the next page of my journal or you could I mean have them in the notes app of your phone and then just have like a running notes folder going or even like voice note yourself right there's a

billion and five ways you could track this but it gets to be this really really fun experiment and you're you're yeah you're basically very non-judgmentally and compassionately looking at your own pace your own rhythm and the way creation naturally wants to move through you and And so I hope you enjoy this. Also, I have Alive Sessions open. I have actually a lot of juicy things happening in June. So let me quickly talk about those. And then I will stop talking, I promise,

because I just remembered again, I have to go pee. So Alive Sessions, these are my 75 minute private somatic strategy sessions. Basically, they are very open ended, which I know can be annoying to hear because I can't market them in a way that is like, this is what you're gonna get. Basically, these are opportunities for you to,

well, okay, let me backtrack. It's me and you on Zoom. You essentially word vomit in the beginning, kind of let me know what you've been intellectualizing, what you've kind of been spiraling over. We kind of do a mini audit or like debrief of like what's working and what's not working. And then depending on what's coming through

in the word vomit in like what you're intellectualizing, what you're identifying as, where you want identifying as where you wanna go in session, I then gently guide you into your body in a way that feels right for that session. And again, there's variance there. Sometimes it's just some gentle breathing, sometimes it's tapping, sometimes it's kind of a body scan.

Sometimes it's even more simple than that, right? And I think it also depends on where you are in your relationship to connecting to your body but there's like no rigidity and it's all consent based obviously so then I guide you into your body and we uncover what's actually alive for you in your body and really connect with the wisdom that your body has to offer right and this is where so much juicy valuable insight can come through, where you really get to tune out the noise of the shoulds and the conditioning and all

of the past trainings that you've done, all of the voices of your past coaches and mentors, not that they're wrong, but really if you are constantly just having them in mind, it distorts and dilutes your own genius and your own wisdom. So I really help you uncover, like I said, what's actually alive for you. And one of my favorite things about these sessions is, like I said, I'm meeting you where you're at, but what often comes from these sessions is a widening of possibility for you, right? Like often clients are coming to me kind of stuck in like black or white thinking. And again, this is a neurodivergent thing. Hi, it's me, I do it too. There's so

much perceived comfort and safety in black and white thinking. It's literally what our minds are made for so good job mind, it's not something to shame. But as soon as we can start bringing nuance and soften into the gray areas of whatever it is that's kind of on the table, that's where that limitlessness lives, that's where the possibility is. And so all of a sudden you're like, oh my god, I didn't even know I could do that, right? It's like those aha moments really start to ping and light up and that's where the clarity comes from. I made a post the other day talking about how it's not actually clarity you're craving in your business, it's self-trust and oh my god I want to like stand up on a mountaintop and scream that or like stand up on the roof, however

that saying goes, I want to stand on the rooftops and scream that because I think we all think we're seeking out clarity and I know I experienced this too right, oh if I just knew the next right step. I even like will stumble through my days thinking, oh I just wish I knew what that next right thing is to do and we're always looking for the right thing because again, there's a perceived sense of safety in doing something right. It's funny how and again, maybe this is a perfectionist thing where like there's so much discomfort in doing something wrong

there's a fear of failure and that's a whole other conversation but where i'm going with this is when what we're what we're actually seeking is self-trust it's not actually clarity clarity is just kind of this like superficial sense of safety but what we're actually seeking is self-trust. We want to know that whatever we do, we have our own back, that whatever choice we make, we trust ourselves to know when to pivot, we trust ourselves to know, you know, what's for us and what's not for us, we trust our discernment, we trust our pace. It's all of that. So this is another thing that often happens in session is I'm really helping you to rebuild and reconnect that sense of self trust. And this is another thing that often happens in session

with me is a shift from feeling externally motivated and I mean, kind of drop into that sensation in your body for a second of like external motivation. It might show up as urgency, it might show up as pressure, it might show up as this kind of like flashy goal or prize on the other side of something that you're kind of reaching for. It very likely shows up as someone else's voice or someone else's picture that's been painted for you of like see this is what is what you want. And often there's again, this, this entangling of self-worth and productivity and all of that. Um, and often it's like egotistically led to it's like, I want to prove or I want

to be seen in this way to, you know, um, appease my ego and maybe even appease other people, right? Versus internal motivation, like that feels completely different. That's kind of that fire burning passion in your belly. It's this rooted energy. It's feeling grounded. It's feeling secure. It's feeling, you know, like you want to do things no matter the outcome. It's like this like unconditional love for the thing that you're going after.

And when you can create and move in your business from that energy, there really is no such thing as failure anymore. And when we were talking again, my previous episode, I was talking about, you know, feeling content and fulfilled and successful even when money's not flowing in. This is how you can create that because your self-worth is no longer tied to how much money is coming in.

I mean, your self-worth really isn't even tied to your business anymore, but your creation, your process is all coming internally and intrinsically. And just you showing up from that life force energy is where that feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment comes. It's not about the outcome. And now as cliche as this sounds, like we're always, we're always being told, you know, enjoy the journey, not the destination. This is how you do it. So anyways, I have openings for live sessions. I'm also very excited to share that this is my birthday month, woohoo! And I was just sharing out loud with a friend that I am low-key obsessed with my birthday,

and I feel like I haven't expressed that out loud unapologetically in the past, but this year I'm going to. I am obsessed with my birthday and I love celebrating it, I love celebrating myself, I love just using this month as, you know, the start of a new chapter and an opportunity to reflect on the past season, my past cycles, if you will, and also kind of like daydream and vision and goal set for the year and years ahead. So some of the things that I'm really excited about and I'm celebrating is this podcast. Oh my god, this podcast is such a, I was gonna say a labor of love, but like it doesn't feel like labor. It's so easy and effortless often to show up to this space. And that's probably

one of my favorite things about it. But I'm, I'm so fucking stoked that I have continued to show up to this, this project, this evolving masterpiece. And I think this is episode 83? What the actual fuck? 83 episodes. If you would have told me like two years ago that I would have a podcast with 83 episodes, I would have laughed in your face because that just felt like a mountain.

It felt like a mountain that I had to climb. And I can truly say that I have enjoyed the journey. I have enjoyed the journey of this mountain and I'm really excited to see how high it goes. So yeah, I want to celebrate the heck out of this podcast and myself and what I kind of came up with to do that is for anyone that wants to celebrate with me, if this podcast has made you laugh, if this podcast has made you smile, if this podcast has made you, you know, feel less alone or has shifted a belief system within you or it's offered you support in some way or inspiration, I'm inviting you to screenshot your favorite episode or favorites if you have multiple and tag me in each one and each screenshot and

tag is gonna count towards an entry into a little giveaway I'm gonna do at the end of the month. So yeah, for every screenshot, every tag is one entry and at the end of the month I will do a random draw and the winner is gonna receive $100 off an alive session or drum roll please. I'm also creating a little birthday bundle so it's gonna be four Alive Sessions for less than the price of three and these are intended to be used between basically over summer it's gonna be called the Summer of Aliveness bundle and my intention is that they get used between the solstice and Halloween, so saw win. It feels like a very, again, we're talking about seasons and cycles.

This feels very on brand and embodied. It just feels really, really fun. I was really stuck on, okay, I want to do a bundle, but I don't know how long I want people to be able to book in these sessions for. And I also just kind of want some sacredness around it. And so this is what I landed on and it feels really exciting. I also know that a lot of people are feeling busy in the summer. Again, that summertime energy often is over committed and not even in a bad way, right? Just like life

feels full. You are in full bloom. Nature is in full bloom and so my intention with this specific offering, this bundle, is that it's not really something to add to your to-do list. It's not something to feel rigid and committed to in your calendar because these sessions get to be booked at your own pace, right? You could do all four in July if you wanted. You could save all four for October if you wanted. You could do them monthly. You could kind of save them for those moments where you know you're feeling dried out and depleted and crunchy and scared and whatever it is. It's basically something that gets to intuitively be led and driven by you and this is a way to again build that trust in your

own pace and build that trust in your own cycles and rhythms and so really excited about that. I will obviously leave all of the links in the show notes. Also excited to offer two bonus I don't want to say meditations they're not going to be a meditation let's call them like an audio ceremony maybe I don't know That just sounds fluffy now that I say it out loud. But yeah, audio guided ceremony to just anchor both the solstice and saw wind. So when you sign up for the summer of liveness bundle, you will get almost immediate access. I mean, I say almost immediate because it will be for June 20th the date of the solstice, the summer solstice. You'll get access to guided ceremony around the summer solstice to obviously anchor into both

life and business and then you'll also get a second audio journey for sawwin which will be around Halloween and so the And so the end of our time together. So okay, I'm gonna go pee now. Obviously I would love to hear from you if anything landed or stirred in this episode. And yeah, please screenshot your favorite episodes. Oh yeah, I should also say that the winner of the podcast screenshots will, you can either do $100 off a single session or you can do $100 off this bundle.

So either way, it's a really good deal for you. And I'm just really excited to offer that and kind of blend both a birthday wish for myself in the sense of I wanna know what podcast episodes you love. And I would love to just experience more engagement and growth with this podcast. I feel like yeah it's been it's been this mountain that I've been climbing and I have enjoyed the journey and also the the inside excitement I have and feel around this podcast isn't always reflected in the outside metrics. And that could probably be a whole other conversation for a different day, but I'm just inviting

this season of my life, this birthday month to be an opportunity to increase engagement with this podcast, increase, invite new listeners to it. And yeah, just really kind of have a celebration of me and this podcast and all of the things. Okay, I love you. I hope you have a wonderful day and I'll talk to you in the next one.