RHAP: We Know Survivor - Carolyn Wiger: Bird Set Free | Pod Friends

Episode Date: January 26, 2025

This week’s Pod Friends guest is the iconic Carolyn Wiger (@car0lynr0se), fan-favorite from Survivor 44, The Traitors 3, and co-host of the Let’s Get Tribal podcast. In this deeply heartfelt conversation with host Matt Scott (@MattScottGW), Carolyn opens up about her incredible journey as a single mother, drug counselor, and life coach, and how she’s navigating her “freedom era.” Known for her raw authenticity and emotional depth, Carolyn reflects on her experiences with sobriety, motherhood, and the importance of embracing imperfections.

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But why should you listen to this one specifically? Because we, we hit a bunch of topics, we talk about a lot of things, I don't want to spoil it, but I don't hold back, I don't have a filter. And that can be interesting sometimes. Pot Friends, Pot Friends It's time to take a look behind the mic and your Pot Friends, Pot Friends You're gonna find out what they're really like We're all Pot Friends, Pot Friends No interviews, just having conversations But they're really like we're all pod friends, pod friends. No interviews, just having conversations.

Pod friends, pod friends. So sit back and prepare for our captivation. Hello everyone and welcome to Pod Friends. My name is Matt Scott. I'm your host and so thrilled to be here with you for another meaningful conversation, a really special conversation to my heart. The phenomenal, incredible, genuine, kindhearted, real Carolyn Weager of course, Survivor 44 fame. We know her from the Tika 3.

We know her from opening up the season. We know her from just being her emotional, real, authentic self, being her brilliant self. And maybe people didn't always listen to her, but I think what's so beautiful is that we, as the viewers got to see so much of her and her journey and appreciate so much of her. And I, for one, relate to so much of her as an emotional person.

I love that I got to talk with Carolyn. But I do want to make sure up top to give a couple of trigger warnings, because in this episode we do talk about domestic violence. Of course, Carolyn also has her experiences with sobriety. And so we talk, I think a little bit about addiction in this episode. And so just real raw topics, a very uplifting and powerful conversation.

But I just wanted to give that heads up for folks in case this isn't the time to check this out. But so much I could say, and I have so much love for Carolyn But I just wanted to give that heads up for folks in case this isn't the time to check this out, but So much I could say and I have so much love for Carolyn and all the ways that she's just like even in this conversation Been so kind and supportive and warm to me So I can't wait to go back through this with all of you and listen alongside all of you But one thing I want to mention is with Carolyn, we've recorded a special 15 minutes with friends over on Patreon, Patreon.com slash RHP,

over on the free tier. It's amazing because we have this 15-ish minute segment. I'm asking Carolyn questions that go beyond this interview, a little bit more of a rapid fire. And just a big shout out to Derek behind the scenes at RHAP for helping get that published and make that happen. But in addition to checking out the Patreon, patreon.com slash rjp, you could leave a voicemail. And so I love to hear from you

speakpipe.com slash pod friends. And please like tell a friend tag RHAP on social media, tag me on social media, at Matt Scott GW on all platforms. And again, just thank you so much Carolyn for being part of this, but without further ado, here is my introduction to Carolyn. Making her way to the podcast, hailing from the North Star State of Minnesota, she's a fan favorite from Survivor 44, the Traitor Season 3, and the Let's Get Tribal podcast,

or the Let's Get Treacherous podcast. She's also a single mother, a drug counselor, and a life coach. Please welcome, joining us from her freedom era, the passionate, a little bit loud loud and totally open, always faithful. Please listen to her. She's brilliant. She's strategic. She's perceptive. She's empathetic. She's smart. She's genuine. She's making this happen. And it's just exciting. It's exciting to be able to like talk with you, to have you on Pod Friends. I've had, I had Franny on about a year ago, which was awesome and a lot of fun.

And so I told her that you were going to be up. She was really excited about this too. So this is cool. But I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that fun. And so I told her that you were going to be up.

She was really excited about this too. So this is cool. But look, Carolyn, I don't even know where to start. Girl. I know. And like you caught me on the week. Like I was like, you know what? It's going to be a crazy week.

So I might as well keep going. But yeah, we got the trailer for the traders just dropped in like oh because that's always scary to like you know what's it gonna in the anticipation yeah so they're like dropping little bits and so it's like oh how are they gonna edit me and I'm a firm believer of like I will never say oh that was the edit. That wasn't me. No, that was me. Like, yeah, like I get how they can edit things to make it or make it seem a certain way, but no, that was me. I will never deny anything in an edit.

Well, I mean, what's cool. I was actually just listening back, getting ready for this conversation, listening back to different interviews you did. And there was one, I think with Rob, Rob Cesternino, where you're talking about how you were like, thinking that you'd be perp, like get the purple-leaded on Survivor and all that. And I'm like, Caroline, how? Not even possible. Not even like the, I would like joke to the producers. Yeah. And I would just be like, don't,

like, I don't want to, and they're like, trust me, you're not going to. But I also don't. I've never been like, and this is still something I struggle with is I've never been a a strong speaker and I have a hard time articulating myself sometimes. That's why I like with this last season, watching teeny, I'm like, oh, my gosh, they articulate so well and are so well spoken. And I'm like, I like I'm not kidding you before I did traders, I really was like, maybe I should do some like, speech classes,

debate courses, I'm serious, because I want to be at the roundtable and I want to know how to talk. Oh my gosh, no. Okay, well, we'll see how that all, we'll just, we'll see it all unfold. It'll be amazing. Excited to have the chance to see you again, period. And I think it's like, it's funny because

just that idea of like, when we watch Survivor, so many metaphors, everyone has like something to compare something else to. And like, that is not me as a person. Like I am not. But similar to you, I feel like, like I would never say you're not a good speaker. Cause you bring the passion to all of it.

And then people feel that passion regardless of the exact words that come out. I'm learning so like, thank out. I'm learning, so thank you. I just sometimes feel so, when it comes to just articulating myself, where it's like I can't get the words out. And so I struggle with that. And so I really, when it came to narrating the season,

I remember telling Carson, I'm like, I don't, I'm to barely get any confession. But that's where I'm like, I don't understand. I cannot relate to the people who have like, OK, here's this analogy for the game. And then it's like that thing. But I like I can't even give you an example of that because I just feel like my brain is not like that for whatever reason. It's not at all. And so when they told me, I remember they were like, when I found the idol, they were

like, do you have an analogy that would be similar to, I go, what? I go, I don't talk like that. And they don't do, no. And I said, the only thing that comes to my mind is when I dug through my son's poop to find his tooth that he swallowed. That was it. I'm like, so if you want an analogy, like here's the poop tooth story. They want it. They love the poop tooth story. The most maybe the most memorable story on

Survivor. Oh my God. I don't know. What was I thinking? But I don't talk like that. And so I do think that like, and that's another thing, I'll like side note where I feel like I'm not like knocking the people who've been on Survivor recently, but there's such like this intense, I feel like pressure to like be the super, super, super fan because I feel like people think that like,

they will be loved more if they're huge, huge. I don't know, do you know what I'm saying? Because back in the day, it used to be if you weren't a super fan, like you don't deserve to be there. And so it really changed this dynamic of like, well, no, and I've seen it, like we were trying to outdo each other's level of fandom.

And what that's brought to is like, I really do. I feel like people go out there and they have like this, they've Googled all of these analogies that they are going to say in front of Jeff because once people get to tribal, it's like, call on me and I wanted to say this analogy. And I'm not like knocking people who do that, but like, I don't talk like that and that's fine that they do, but it's like, do you even talk like that or is reciting what you think that they want to hear?

Yeah. But you know, I think like that's the beauty of it, too, because I think like you are a good example of someone who and like obviously we're not going to get as much into Survivor as we will into life and the world and everything else. But like that's one of the things where like, look at you, like you did not bring all I mean, yes, there was the digging through the poop, and getting the teeth for the tooth fairy, which like I had somewhere. Like that popped into my mind naturally. So that clearly left an impression. But it's like, it's like, yeah, maybe we'll see a world where like, in 10 years on

Survivor 10 seasons, even on Survivor, it might not be as many analogies. Maybe it'll just be like people being like raw, real, inspiring, authentic, like all of that. And like if people are anything like you, it'll just like bleed through the screen to people, which I, you know, that's who I'm all for. Like the authentic of it all and the authenticity of it all. So yeah, no, please.

No, but I am so like just excited to dive into like your story. And one of the things that I sent you before is just that like so often people have this impression of like, here's Carolyn, here's who Carolyn is. And I just kind of want to give you this space. Like sometimes I ask people the most open ended question possible. So I'll ask you, Carolyn, like, who are you? Wow. This is so deep. I the first word that came to my mind, the first no, I know.

And I love this about this. Yeah. I have so much just empathy and compassion for Pete. And I'm probably gonna forget what the question is halfway through. That's just how my brain works. But I have so much compassion for helping people for, if I'm that type of person where, if I see somebody struggling or if I see somebody

who needs help or is struggling, I am that first person. I want to like be there. I want to aid them. I want to support them. I am going to, if I see someone crying, I start crying. I take on, like I do, I take on people's emotions where that's a bad thing too.

And so, especially after all of this has like being on TV and all that stuff, it's like, I feel like because I have been so open, I feel like then obviously when we're open and we share, then other people wanna share and are open. So it, but it was like mentally draining me because I felt like I could not like answer all these, all these people and all,

I felt like I wasn't able to be there for them. So I've learned within the last year, like I wasn't able to be there for them. So I've learned within the last year, I need to just set healthy boundaries and take care of me too. Because for a lot of my life, it was like, not put myself last, it wasn't like that, but it was like,

I was almost led to believe that I was selfish if I did things for me, because I have a son and I have other responsibilities, but it's like, that's not the case. And I've learned that if I don't take care of myself, if I don't have that self care that everybody fricking talks about, if I don't actually do it,

I am nothing for any of the people that I love for myself. I'm not. So that's like, in a nutshell people that I love, for myself, like I'm not. So that's like, in a nutshell, like I do, I feel like I am just such a caring, compassionate, but I've really had to learn like to balance that, which then it's like, you don't respond to messages and where are you and you are authentic, but then you're not.

I'm like, I'll never please everybody, but no, I'm compassionate, I'll never please everybody, but no, I'm compassionate. I'm a compassionate person. I've been a drug counselor since 2011. Like that is, it's my passion, helping people. I used to work in the jails and I loved it. I loved, I always say that I will always connect better with people who have struggled. And maybe that's, well, not maybe, it's because I have too. And it's like, I can connect with you, I can relate to you. And I just, that's what I love. I like getting in there, I love people

who've had that struggle, the trauma. Like, not that I love their trauma, but I love, I love just being, just hearing people's stories, truly. Did I answer the question? No, truly. Yeah, no. Did I answer the question? No, you did, you did. You answered the question. And I feel like there's so much there where like one,

like it's, you know, people go through so much and I feel like being quote unquote normal is not talking about your trauma, not talking about your struggle, which like is the least healthy thing that you could do to like choke it back and not talk about it. But like one of the things I really love from what you just shared is there is a ton of weight to like have it like holding people's stories or struggles or traumas or whatever it might be. And it's it's funny because I've done some other interviews for this season of Pod Friends with people

where I'm talking about like the RHAP live events. I love them, people should go to them. But one thing I've experienced between Pod Friends and also The Pride has spoken, like I will often be on here on podcasts, but also in my work, very similar work, but work outside of RFP talking about like losing my dad and grief and loss and like how that

affected me and the weight of that. Or I'll be talking about like being like a young black queer person and like those challenges or mental health and like identity and all these things. And so then, you know, I often will have conversations in our live shows with people about grief and loss or race or identity or mental health. And it like, I, like, I love it in the moment to your point of like, craving, like, just like that connection. And then I'm like, I have a crash. I crash after after the fact, but I definitely relate. Yeah, and the boundaries are important,

but I also feel like, I mean, one thing that I find myself doing, for better or for worse, is like, yeah, I need to have boundaries, because I'm putting in all of this effort, or that I want to put in, but it's important to have the boundaries when you have them. Disconnect when you do, ask for forgiveness later when you reply like, you know, seven months later, whatever it is. I don't know. Yeah, some messages like I literally has been like two, like a year and a half, two years,

and I'm like, I'm sorry. Oh my God. I'm also giving myself some grace. Like, I just can't. I can't. I mean, and the people like the people who you want to talk with, like, will like they're not going to judge you for that or they'll understand that. It's so exactly. So weed the rest out. And I forgot to say, and most importantly, I'm a mother. Yeah, you mentioned it somewhere. But actually, you know what? Since you mentioned it, like,

we're just going to get right into it. I'm going to. I didn't expect this to come up so quickly, but I actually have a special voice message for you, a video message, actually, for you from someone from your cast who has a question that they want to ask you. We're just going to go. Oh, this is like very Jerry Springer. I was like, I did not. It's only 11.

How did you? I was not able to get a message from your son. Did you? But here's here's a question. We'll just get into it since we're going to be all over the place in this conversation. That's the beauty of it. But here is the one.

Well, she'll introduce. No, it's not like I love your reactions. I'm going to hit play. I'm going to hit play. Hello. This is Franny. You're from the Minnesotan season 44, girly. I got to say I am so excited already to listen to this episode of Pod

Friends because you lead such a joyful and incredible life and I can't wait for people to hear about it. I'm also so proud of you that you're about to be on The Traders. That's so fricking cool. I had never seen the show and Matt and I, my Matt, not Matt Scott, also Matt Scott. We haven't seen each other in so long.

We gotta get some food. Matt and I started watching The Traders to like understand, you know, the show and what it's all about. And I like cannot picture you on there. So whatever is about to happen in January, I think is gonna blow all of our minds. And I cannot wait to see it.

But I have a question for you, which is I have had the great pleasure to meet your amazing son, Luca, on several occasions, hanging out in Minnesota, going to the state fair, and he is genuinely one of the most, like, polite, well-adjusted, curious, and like, well-spoken children I have ever interacted with. He is such a good kid. I want to ask you, first of all, what do you love most about being his mom? And second of all, give us some parenting advice here.

Like you are such an incredible mother to him and you have raised him to be such a wonderful kid. How do you do it? What do you think is the special sauce that has made your relationship so strong and so special? Cause I think we can all learn a lot from it. Okay, I can't wait to hear this. I love you. I miss you.

And we'll talk soon. Bye. I didn't think I would like like getting teary. This is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Franny was at like, as you prepare, as you write, as you bring yourself back together, I met her like before her, before your season at a live event here in DC. And I don't know what it was. She just had this infectious energy. And I went up to her and it's like, Hi, I'm Matt. And she's like, Oh my gosh, like, I love R.H.I.P. And it was, we had such a bond. And I literally messaged her like less than 24 hours ago and was like, hey, do you want to send Carolyn a question? And so she just sent that in and thank you Franny

for being part of this episode of Pod Friends. But I was, I love, I love her question. I wasn't sure where it was going about just parenting advice. Shout out to Luca. Of course, we're getting lots of Luca shout outs between the poop and the, you know, everything else. Oh, he's fine. He's fine. Everything. And Franny C. Franny is another one of those people who's so great too at just like bringing the pap and the enthusiasm and then she's such a good speaker.

Yeah, no, but like, I don't know. Do you have an response, anything you want to share, response to him? Okay, my son is, first of all, like being his mom, like he, we went through this period where like, I felt like he was my best friend and we did everything together. And I did, I had like a grieving period of like,

he's growing up and getting bigger. And I wasn't, you like, but then it was like, okay, I gotta let the little birdie fly out of the nest. But it was, it took me a little bit to like, accept that like, because I've always been that type of mom who's like in the dirt with them, going sledding, going skate, like we are very active together. So I'm that mom who I remember

getting Roblox and getting a Roblox account, Pokemon together, we everything that he was doing, I wanted like, and it wasn't like I was just like, Can I come too? It was like, Mom, get a Roblox account. Yeah, I remember, you know how hard it was for me to even understand that at first? This was like 2000. When did it come out? It was like 2017 or 18. Something like that. And I was like, oh my gosh, same with Minecraft. I was like, I don't understand this.

It took me three years to spawn the weather storm. I... Do you know what that is? I don't even know what that is. I have a six-year-old nephew and a two-year-old nephew and I just relate to like all of the, like what are you even doing? And why is this so hard for me to learn to do?

It was so hard. I told Carson, if I would have known you like back then, anyway, it's been three years and I didn't give up. And I was so proud. Like I remember he came home and I'm like, I did it, I did it. I spawned the withered. Like, and I just, I wouldn't give up, but that's the kind of mom I am where I want to be involved in the things that he's doing. I actually like, I care. I never wanted

to be that mom who was like sitting on the sidelines, just what no judgment, but like who's just kind of watching her kid grow up. Like, no, I want to be involved. I want to be on the floor with you playing with your toys and making slime and doing all that so as he's gotten older yeah it sucks it's like oh my gosh I'm not your best friend anymore but it but at the same time it's like I have those memories and he still does like of course we're still close and he wants to do things with me which I'm grateful for and I'll never ever it's like I'm accepting that he's growing up. And so now as a mom, it's all like, because he like the can I talk about puberty? Yeah, we're all talking puberty and I have been that person like talking puberty and talk.

You know how terrified I was to do that? But the fact that he trusts me and wants me to talk about this stuff with him. Like he's like, yeah, mom. And so of course I get because I don't know all these parts. And so I get all the books and like the I'm not kidding you. I'm like, I need to because I'm like, if I don't teach my son this stuff, the world will. So like, yeah, I'm teaching about love and kindness and everything. We have a book where it's like we just because, cause I get so, cause I believe like hatred is learned, racism is learned, like you're learning that

and you're learning that from your home life. So it's like, you know what? No, he is going to learn about love and acceptance of all people. And I talk, and I'm very open with him, whether it be about my own, like he knows about my struggles. He knows like what I've been through. He knows that I've dated men and women.

I talk about that. I've talked to him about, this is what pansexual means. I want him to know that the flags that we have in our house, we are open to all people. When he goes to his grandpa's house, it's like, because my dad has all these like pride flags everywhere. And it's like, what are like, I wanted to know what those are. Like, we love everyone and teach him that.

So that like as a mom, it's like there's nothing. I would just say like. I remember what it was like to be 11, you know, I've gotten older, but I still remember what it was like to be 11, you know, I've gotten older, but I still remember what it was like. And it's like, as he's getting older, he's gonna have peer pressure, he's gonna have, I'm not gonna act like I don't know that that stuff exists. So I create an open doorway of communication where it's like, hey, I want because I want him

to be able to come to me with things and not be scared and not be anxious or not feel like so I'll just bring things up and be like you can talk to me about anything because my biggest fear is like When he is in trouble or when something like if something were to happen that he didn't call me So it's like I wanted to know no matter what you do Or if you feel like you're in the most trouble in the world, you can call me. So I create this open this open door of like we're going to talk about it. We talk about everything. Oh, my gosh.

That's so beautiful, though, too, because like now I'm like 32 young millennial. And I feel like like people talk about millennia. Like, I love millennial parents because it's just like bringing in a lot of things that are not traumatizing us in the same ways that maybe our parents do. But my parents were like baby boomers. They weren't even like gen, they're baby boomers. And like, it was impossible for them.

And still with my mom, like she, it's still impossible for her to like have those direct conversations about, about things. And I think you could go in so many different direct, you could go in the same direction or you could push back and think, okay, how could I, with my nephews, or if I have kids one day, or with young kids, how could I push back and be whatever it is?

Because you mentioned it like, yeah, remembering what remembering what it was like to be 11 and like, you know, you're like secretive or like, I can't have these conversations. And so it's beautiful that like your son will actually talk with you about all those things and anything. And that's like, that's a credit to you, though. Like, it's it's, yeah, I still I'm sure that that isn't really common at all. So it's cool to hear that you opening up doesn't like scare him and he doesn't run the other direction, basically. No, he asked questions.

And like, like I said, he moved the puberty. I felt I was putting it off. I was scared. Sure. Like and I'm like, no, I need it like Carolyn, I need it. But I did all the prep work I did. I'm like, I and again, more than anything, I just want him to be able to come to me when he needs to and feel safe and feel okay. So but it's funny to me because between I hate to go back to

the poop, like digging through the poop story between that and then this like, I mean, I was gonna say at first like, Oh my gosh, Carolyn, you have so much determination, like, but and you do. But I feel like the two examples that we've talked about are with your son and like with your son, it sounds to me like you are like willing to move mountains, do whatever it takes. And that's like, it gets me a little choked up to think about that.

Oh my gosh. There we go. It's my everything. This is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cub sound experiment. We're looking to find the perfect way to hear Reese's so you'll buy more of them. Here we go. Reese's, Reese's.

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with iGaming Ontario. Like one of the things that comes to mind for me when I think of you, obviously, like authenticity and just being yourself, self-acceptance, all of that, but like, I'm sure of course that's all stuff that your son is picking up on and like soaking in but like I I'm so curious for you between like your sobriety journey like pansexuality you've talked about ADHD like I mentioned uh sobriety addiction all that stuff all these other elements of who you are like how did you get to this place of and I also will say I'm sure it still continues to be a journey, right? But like, oh, how do you get to this place where, yeah, please. I know, and I make sure I really do.

I make sure to tell like, this isn't like a one and done and I'm cured and I'm perfect and I know all the answers. I mean, do like life coaching and talk to people, but that doesn't mean shit as far as that I have it all together, I don't. And I remember like going through just leaving an abusive relationship. And I remember thinking like,

when, oh gosh, I wanna talk about some of this stuff, but it's like, I can't help people with this. If I'm, if I just left and I want to be, but of course, when I open up and I share it, then I, the beauty of that is like so many people come forward and that's what I want to use my platform for to help people. And it's like the amount of people who then come forward. And it's like, even when I meet with people, it's like, there is no deadline. Um, like I should be healed by this point or I should feel normal by this point now. And so it just because I'm

not a hundred percent perfect or what I'm looking for, we're like, I don't know when I'll ever be like complete. And so it's like, I'm not going to stop helping people. So I'm very open about like, here, no, I still struggle with this. This is a journey. It's ongoing. I remember getting sober and thinking that, and I laugh about it now, but I remember thinking like, I've done so much work on myself. I've done so much therapy. I've done so much like journaling about my home. What do I want to work on in my I just don't like I every

when I got sober. I thought of all of the things like, okay, I didn't know how to communicate. I didn't know how to I didn't accept myself. I didn't blah, blah, blah. So I wrote them all down. And I was like, I am gonna work on all of this stuff. And I'm gonna put all like my all into it. So once I did that for like a long time, I was like, OK, I'm done. And I truly believe that I believe that I could just go to treatment, go to therapy, keep going, blah, blah, blah. And then it was done.

And then I realized, holy shit, like it doesn't work that way. Well, the stuff is going to continuously happen. It's not just a one and done, whoop. So I've learned like, no, this is something that is an ongoing thing where I seek out support and help. And there's days like, I remember I was like, I've done so much damn therapy.

Like I don't wanna, but it's like, I know when I need to, or I know where I need to go to a support group, or I know when I need to, or I know where I need to go to a support group, or I know when I need to talk to other women. I'm healthy in that regard, but it's an ongoing journey that I will always, the addiction stuff, it'll always be a part of me. And I'll have ups and downs. Yeah. No, and I think it's like I always admire anyone.

Like there was one person I interviewed who, he's not a podcaster, but he's an RHP patron, Greg Dunlap, who I interviewed, I went to like a year and a half ago on Pod Friends. And cause he emailed me and he's like, hey Matt, like I have a story, I've been sober for XYZ long and we just talked so much about it.

And what's surprising or I guess what I didn't expect is that like so many people reach out to me and say, hey, could you have this person on and talk, you know, ask them about their sobriety or have them talk about that because it is still so stigmatized. Just like everything else that you list out. But I feel like you are like a sword against stigma. Oh my gosh, now I'm getting into my like survivor analogy era.

But like, you're pushing back against stigma in so many ways, which I think is pretty cool. It's freeing. It's like if I'm not hurt like, again, it's not like I like love being like telling people all my flaws, like, but it's just so freeing. And I think, sorry, survivor's fresh on my mind. I'm thinking of Teenie last night when Teenie was like, sorry, Sam, I've realized that I'm projecting all of my insecurities on TV.

And I was like, that is so beautiful that they can do that and just, you know how people wouldn't want to do that on TV and they wouldn't want to talk about like their insecurities. They wouldn't. And to have that level of insight that, you know what, I am projecting this onto you, Sam. I was like, wow, that's like next level. I thought it was amazing. So that's really, oh, I know it's insane too, because even with the two them, and I don't remember what role they played in the play, but there's a whole scene earlier in the season where like they played the same role. And I relate to teeny so much in that sense, like shout out to teeny for that,

because it's like, yeah, like sometimes you look like there. I'm not as like this as them or that is them. And I feel like the place to be where um I mean you and so many other people are just examples that help me but like screw that like I don't need to be like that person or that person or that person like I am me like I have and there's there's so much beauty in that and not trying to be someone else because who you are is like uniquely, beautifully, perfectly, imperfectly you, right? We've tried everything. It's like, have you, that's in so many people will be like, well, Carolyn, when I am myself, people don't like me

or when I'm like, give it, give it a chance, give it a chance for a little bit because we already know that like trying to fit in or trying to be this mold to get people, then you're just like dead inside, truly. It's like such a lonely, dead feeling. And so, but I'm not like, even in this regard, like especially on Survivor, I had like my ups and my downs, but I 100%, like I went in so proud of myself and I did like my ups and my downs, but I, a hundred percent, like I went in so proud of myself and I did like being there because I would see the looks that people would give me sometimes.

And it's like that, I'm not going to lie and be like, that didn't hurt. But what, what like where I got upset with myself is again, like believing it and letting it get to me. That's where I'm like, never again, because it's like, I again, starting the game so confident and so like, I've, you know, I've gone through this and that and I'm so proud of myself. And then when you have people look at you, like, what the hell? I was like, cause I totally expected to, yeah, okay. I get like how I'm perceived sometimes, but once people actually get to know me I get like how I'm perceived sometimes but once people actually get to know me and have like a conversation with me it's different I

just didn't expect that so yeah it's just I still have my moments where I'm like oh but it's I really try not to let people get in my head or I am very again it's not to say that like things don't hurt my feelings or but I am I'm blessed with the ability I said but saying this I'm blessed with the ability to just not care sometimes especially when I never have had that like if there's a group of people and they're all like gathering and I'm not going to think like, oh, crap, I got it. Like, let me go over to that group and say something fun or say like to be a part of it.

I have no problem just sitting back and like, OK, I'll just wait until even. And I think like even on TV, like, I don't care. I don't care if I look like cool on TV or if I look like I'm a part of like the popular group or what I don't but that's not cool like it's cool to be yourself and it's cool to just like do your own thing like when you're following someone else's path it's like oh that whether on survivor or not, it's like, oh, that person is the next so and so that person's the next so and so but how about being the first Carolyn? How about being the first Matt Scott? Like what? Why not? You know?

Why not? It's like, it's it reminds me of something that I saw on your Instagram in your Instagram bio that's there right now. You said that you're in your freedom era. I don't know what that means, what that looks like. What is your freedom? What's your freedom era in your words? Okay, so my freedom era, leaving, leaving an abusive relationship and finally just listening to my heart, listening to my gut, listening to input,

just putting putting my wants and desires and needs and just taking care of myself. That's the freedom era, not being tied down or just standing up for myself for the for the first time in a long time. Yeah, good. Like that's freedom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm also just like thinking about all this and everything we're talking about.

And also like this will come out in January. So new year, new year, new you, all that for people. And I think it's a good time for people to hear that message because there's so much pressure with new year's resolutions and all of that to like, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, it's rough. Yeah, no, no, no, no, I can't, I can't, I can't. Because the thing is the times that I've tried, I'll get a month in and it's like, what are we doing?

And then I adjust, I'm like, okay, let me be sane and calm and balanced and like do my best with whatever I want to do, but also like have grace for myself. What's your relationship with New Year's resolutions? Are you asking me? Yeah. I don't even have, I never have that. I don't even have I never have that.

I don't even know. I can't even remember the last time I've had one because again, I believe that if it's the same thing, like it's the stance I take with running. If I go running and like put like I need to do X amount of miles and this amount of time and blah, blah. If I put it like this, it doesn't make it fun. It doesn't make it, it makes it something I dread. So like a ruins. When I hear new year's resolution, I hear hell. So like that

does not sound appealing. It sounds like a death sentence. It sounds like prison. I don't want to know that's putting too much pressure on me. So like even when I run or when I work out or do any of that, I don't have like, call me a bum. I don't have goals or I don't set, I'll go run. And if I want to stop, I'll stop. I'll start skipping or I'll like, I don't like rules like that or. But I think it's, I think what's cool about that too

is like just physically like between working out. Like I'm someone who, when I really started to like truly work out a lot, which was like a year and a half ago, I had the realization like, oh my gosh, like me doing it and me trying and like showing better than what I was doing before, or like now I'm swimming more.

And it's like, oh, like working on my swimming, like, oh my gosh, like that's better than me not doing it at all. So it's like, it's not even like I have a goal around it. Because I'm just like, yeah, I want to do the thing. And I'm doing the thing. So I'm like, yes, already do pressure. So that's what I like. I like that. Well, I want to but I'm curious. I like talking about like, goals and what they look

like, because I'm and I'm not a life coach, but you've been doing life coaching. I want to make sure to talk about that. Because I would imagine people come in with like, here's a goal or here's a problem with me or like Carolyn, I admire you and I just feel like things are off and I need your help or like, how? What does that look look like to like be life coached by you? I ask because I've literally seen you post the life coaching stuff. I'm like am I gonna I've hovered over the button. I'm like am I gonna sign up to be life coached with slash by Carolyn? So but what's that actually like for you and like what do do you help or like, what do you support

people through? I guess. So that all started because again, I was getting so many messages and I would same with cameos where it's like, Hey, will you just give me some inspiration? I still get taught like the pep talks. I do so many pep talks and sometimes it's like just schedule a session anyway. But sometimes people just want that quick like and I've learned too that like not every because I'm like why are these people doing cameos instead of booking a session? But I get to that not everyone

wants to like do a video face to face where it's like maybe I need to do a better job of telling people like you don't have to be on video I'll be on video, but we can do phone or whatever But I've got so many messages about like here Will you just give me a pep talk or hey, I've struggled with this. So it's it's always addiction So the addiction struggle or like fitting in how do I just just, yes, become my authentic self? How are you able to do that? And then I've been getting like since opening up about about leaving an abusive relationship,

I've gotten so many people who have struggled with that or just wanted to connect based off the just hey, like, how did you do it? How are you like what's helping you now? So those are my main things. And it's, I mean, I get a wide range of people. Sometimes, I mean, I had someone who just, they had booked a session with me just because they were a fan of Survivor.

Like, I get a lot of those. Yeah, I do imagine. They're fans and then they just want to like talk to me and we'll have like a session But the ones that I'm at like not I don't want to be like actually helping but like the way that sessions with it's like it's amazing to be able to see them come in like just So nervous and scared and shy and then really just see them blossom and be like become comfortable in their skin And it's just, it's beautiful. I love it.

This is like a dream, being able to do this and talk with people and then hear people's stories. So yes, it's usually like, I wanna be more comfortable and we'll just go through scenarios or little steps that they can take or what's going on in their life right now? What do they want to change? Here, let's walk through it. But also, I share about myself and my own experiences.

My experience may not work for you, but I'm very open. Even if I'm struggling right now, I don't try to be this professional person. No. Yeah, no, it's real. But that's the thing. Like we don't like if you're surrounded by people who are all like buttoned up and they're like super quote unquote professional and they act a certain way like you don't think you could be anything outside of that. And I feel like for me even like something I'm constantly trying to do, which podcasting has helped with like my work, which is interviewing

people and like also just doing stuff on camera and talk speaking and sharing my story and being open. Like the only way you get better at that is one like being surrounded by people who you see and you're like, oh that like I could do that too. But then also just like doing it. Doing it is huge. It's huge. So and so many people tell me like, you know, I wanted to because I always say like, I'm not a replacement for therapy. I'll always say that. But they'll say like, because you share so much because you are so open about your imperfections and about

your struggles. It's like I feel comfortable and safe talking to you. And I love hearing that. I hear that so much, like that you're not this perfect person who has it all together. And I've never claimed to be that, you know? Yeah. No, it's, I don't know where I first heard this from, but like there was someone who I was listening to or talking to, or maybe a bunch of combinations of conversations.

But somebody said, courage comes before confidence. You don't need to have it all together and everything figured out. And I was like, oh my gosh, that means, and I have two little tiny tattoos compared with your many, many tattoos. But I have one that's like courage on my wrist with the heart for the, Oh, and of course I can't hold it up. Oh, there we go. Courage with the heart for the, Oh, and then lemonade as in take lemons and make lemonade on the other both, both in honor of my dad. Right.

So it's like take the things that have been like, you know, frankly, shitty in your life and like, make something of it or embrace your strength. But like, it's so important just to like, take the courageous step sometimes, even if you're freaking out and like, not sure where that'll go. So I feel like you're a good example of that, right? No, absolutely. And it's like, even all the struggles that I've been through in my life, I'm not going to lie. There's, there's been days where I'm like, um, like I think of addiction, I never wanted to get addicted. I never

wanted to have that, like be a part of my story, but I'm so glad that it is. And at the time, of course, it's like, this sucks. This is awful. Same with the, And at the time, of course, it's like, this sucks. This is awful. Same with the abuse stuff and leaving. Like I never, in a million years, and I'm finally starting to see like the, or for the last, I don't know, six months or so, I've been like seeing like the blessings and the,

do you know what? Like this all happens for a reason. And this is like, just taught me so much. And I don't want to be like, oh, I'm, I'm glad I experienced these horrible things. Like, cause they taught me a lesson. No, like, I don't think that anyone should have to experience that stuff to like, woo, to grow or whatever.

But it truly, it's, it's like, it has shaped the person that I am today and I'm proud of that. Wow, like I think one thing that's just, I mean that I'm thankful for just to thank you for is that because you're so visible with so much, like it really, it makes it really easy for other people to like, well, one, even going into this, like I said to you, Carolyn, hey, like, I don't want to bring, I don't like to bring up anyone's

traumas or challenges for them. Like I'd like to give people that space. And you're like, I'm an open book, like wherever you want to go. And I really appreciate that. But I also just think like a lot of people don't hear back to the idea of stigma, like don't hear people talk about idea of stigma, like don't hear people talk about like domestic violence, for instance, and all of the challenges with that. And back when I was in college, and then after for a few years, I was like really involved in sexual

assault awareness and working with survivors and supporting survivors. And so I'm already following you because of Survivor, the show, but then when you came out and shared everything that you shared on Instagram and just pictures and everything else with your story, one, that takes an insane amount of courage, but also there are so many people who, whether you've heard from them or not, I'm are so many people who like whether you've heard

from them or not I'm sure so many people who've benefited from like you just like being open and real because like anything but I'm sure especially abuse could feel insanely lonely insanely lonely yeah I was like going through this and I remember like, oh gosh, I don't especially like coming off a survivor and I felt like people looked at me a certain way and were so proud of me. Like not everyone obviously, but like, wow, she's such a fighter and she's so and so I remember thinking like, how could and I don't think this anymore, but it was like, how could I let this happen to me? How could I, I was embarrassed. I didn't wanna talk about it.

I truly was embarrassed because it was like, what is wrong with me? Why did this happen to you? Whoa, my gosh. And I don't want people to think that I'm this like weak person who puts up with, I was embarrassed. I truly, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, but that's why I need to talk about it. Because it's like, look at like, whoa, look at everything

in my life is because we try to like mask it and everything's so great. And it's like, no, the reality of behind behind closed doors, it you know, was not great. So I just, and I've learned too, it's like, I learned that I was trying to put this image out where I'm like, that's exactly what I don't want to do. I don't want people, no. So I'm sharing and just being able to connect with people and hear other stories or people I've helped. That's what it's about because that's what helped me. And that's what helped me get out of it is hearing other people's stories and the, oh, God. So it's like, I need to pass it along. So any way that I can just like share about any struggle or, what is it like?

Good thing. I like to just share it. I really do, because you never know who you're going to help. Yeah, no. And I also, I feel like as you're saying that I'm just picturing the idea of like a balloon that's just like about to pop and like you need to, you need to like let the air out like it or else it's going to pop and that's not great. It's not good.

You don't want to get there. So no. Oh gosh. It's rough but I want to I want to go back to like in with all this in mind to the idea of community because I'm I know you've been a day one survivor fan but I don't even know which part of this I want to bring up. One is like before Survivor, did you do like an LRG, a live reality game type of thing? Oh, girl.

Like I did. You did so many. I didn't do the like, I didn't do the ones where you're like there. Is that the online ones? Right. I was a creepy like troll online. Um, once where you're like there is that the, the online ones, right? I was a creepy like troll online, but not a creepy troll. I would do them online.

And you used to do these and we were like, I'm not kidding you. And I tell people who have applied who are like, how do I get on survivor? And I'm like, I have no idea, but this is what helps me. And this is the truth. I did video confessionals for all of my games. So like we'd have like confessionals and somebody, I got started with those things from someone on Reddit asked me, okay.

And I went by the name Cakes. And I was myself. And my whole game was like, I'm not kidding you, exactly how I played Survivor. It was exactly how I played in these games. But I would do video confessionals for all of my confessionals. And that helped me so much with the camera. I'm not some natural like, hello! My first audition video, I remember, cause people say like, you're so animated, it's distracting.

So my first video, I was like, hello. And I didn't wanna move too much. Where I got comfortable with the camera and comfortable talking was from those online reality games, the survivor ones, because I would every, I mean, I was in the casting process for 41 when I was playing these games. I remember I got cut and I'm like,

then I got voted out of my game. Oh my God. I love, they're addicting. I don't do them anymore. Like I retired. Yeah, they're intense. I've never done any of those online games. I did one live game which was Survivor Philadelphia. It's on YouTube season

two head versus heart which I feel like you would like you'd be on the heart tribe with me. Carolyn we would have we would have been an alliance. We would have been an alliance like you would have beat me in the end of the game but but it would have been worth it. But no, it's like it being in that and then doing the confessionals cause it's a one day game. So it's 14 hours. Oh, it's only one? Like back to back to back to back to back to back to back.

Carolyn, like it's so fast paced. You could barely eat because the adrenaline's pumping. So you're like, oh, there's pizza for our merge feast. I can't eat because I want to make sure I'm strategizing and like looking for idols. Oh, don't you hate that crap? It is no time. Yeah. But it's like it no it's so insane. It was so insane, though. But it also like one oddly taught me a lot about

myself and how I react in like high pressure situations. And two, it taught me like, oh, like that. That's that's the survivor version of me. Like it's just I was having so much fun along the way and also so stressed along the way. And also something that I feel like I've heard that I learned from that is like you really need to believe in yourself for these things because I was I was talking with Kellan Bechtold who also

has a podcast in RHP of World to Reality and she said one thing about winners of Survivor is that most of them knew actually maybe all of them knew that they were gonna win they knew that they could win which I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I was listening to last night, the finale, I think it was Rachel who was like, yes, I wouldn't be out here if I didn't think I can win. And I remember I said to my sister, I was like, I didn't even think I would make the merge. But that's the thing too. Like sometimes you have to just believe you have to truly believe and believe. And then I don't understand how that works.

It magically happens. I think it was like, I don't know if it was Tini and Sam or who was right there, or no, maybe it was Sue and Sam who were right there. And Sam asked Rachel that question. And she was like, yup, no, I know I can win. I knew that like, I wanna bring that energy into all of my life. So that's one thing like I could win. I knew that I wouldn't like, I want to bring that energy into all of my life. So that's one thing like I've learned.

I didn't feel that. I did. Like, no way. So did you feel like you had to act a certain way being that it was recorded? No, I was like, I was so I think I was really comfortable. And it's funny because we recorded it and I was like having a great time in the confessionals being sassy doing all these other things and you just don't know how you're gonna react like you don't know how it'll come play back when you watch it on YouTube and look I have if you watch it you're like well Matt's having a great time and the game like I also made it to the end

and I was a zero vote finalist Carolyn so I'm gonna have to watch this because I love you know how many people I've like just friends who have played like on the Facebook groups like I love that I've I've there's a it's called live to give Minnesota they yeah of course like weekend one every year I went went down to Adam Klein play that one. Like I, I love them. So I will absolutely like, I would not play them again, but like, they're intense. They're intense. They're really intense. But beyond, beyond the live game or the live and online games, I want to ask you like, well, I want to ask you about like any experiences, notable experiences, highlights you've had like connecting with the community around survivor since

the since the show. But I actually have to tell you a story. Because I was at RHAP in Brea in Brea, California. And it was so you know, there's just a lot happening and I'm sure it's overwhelming. Did I meet you and now I don't remember? Here's what happens. Here's what happens. Not really, but kind of because what happened is I walk in with like a bunch of the podcasters

and you are there in the lobby in a lobster suit because it's Halloween night. So I was wearing like a Bryce Isaiah Halloween costume. Yeah. So there was that. But I walk in and I don't know. Like, I'm probably already feeling like slightly overwhelmed or whatever else. We're rushing to get in.

The episode's about to start. But you're there in the lobby. And then you just like reached over and gave me a big hug, like no words, just a big hug. And then and then we everyone just walked in. And I like that is it's so funny to me because it just was such a random moment. I'm like, this is Carolyn, like Carolyn just love and spewing love and all of that. But as overwhelming as I know, those those environments

could be for a bunch of different people. Like that to me will always stand out. I had a line that night. I was- Yeah, you did. I was at the bar and I was like- I could picture where you were because there was literally a line wrapping around. And I remember thinking, Carolyn, you had a long line.

And it's funny because I just had seen, just speaking of the community, I think of, of course, Owen Knight, but his wife now, Sammy, I saw you share something about just how she like got you water and was like being supportive at different events. And like, that was what was going on through my mind where I'm like, oh my gosh, does Carolyn need anything? Like, is it like, how's she doing? There's a line wrapping around to go up and probably have, I'm guessing like, you know, a lot of like lovely, but like intense conversations.

And sure. And again, I welcome it. I'm like, this is what I'm here for as far as like, that's why I shared so much. But it's a lot in like, when, especially when the season was airing, I was like, Carson's like, you need to learn to just smile and be like, thank you.

And I'm like, I can't. And so I would go to these things and I would just start running. Like I remember, I would just get so overwhelmed. And so like the wives, like the Jesse Lopez's wife, Rebecca was always so helpful. Sammy, like, cause I had no idea what like to expect for many of these.

And I didn't even go to like a ton. I went to like three during my season. And so, and then the breakout, that's the last event I've even been to is that. Oh my season. Yeah. And so and then the breakout. That's the last event I've even been to is that. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I don't go to a ton, but it again, I love hearing people's stories. It's like that's what I like. That's why I share it can be like, oh, I need a break. I know it's it's funny because I feel like on this season of Pod friends and maybe it's

because this fall I was at RHAP in New York, then I was at Bryson Wen in Philly, then in Houston for RHAP the next week, then in DC where I live for Bryson Wen. And I just feel like I love when people come up and share and connect because the thing is whether it's with Survivor or Let's Get Tribal, like you might see the reviews and the comments but it's not like it doesn't fully feel real until someone's in front of you and they're like hey here's who I am this is my story this is how you've like impacted me in different ways and so like I never want to discourage people from doing

that because that's why I like I am addicted to going to those but at the same time like you know it is it's a lot and I guess I wonder like how have your I don't even know what the question is like how have you what do boundaries look like what does self-care and like recharging look like for you um because that's what I'm trying to figure out how to reach. I have no idea. Yeah, struggling with it. And that's why I I'm not kidding you.

Yeah. And I'm not saying I'm like some day. I'm uncomfortable even when they have like the cast release for Traders. And it's like. This celebrity season, I laugh every time I hear that because it's like I'm not a celebrity and like, sorry, like there's, I want to find the celebrity anyway. I guess Boston Rob is, but like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't like, come on. So I don't mean to like be like, Oh, everywhere I go everyone. But like I was at Home Goods recently.

And I'm not kidding you, I was in there for two hours, two hours listening to someone's story. And like I like that's a problem. And I'm like, I came in here to buy a pillow and I am like comforting this person. And like I'm like, oh, my gosh, I got to go. So it's like I have a hard time. So when I go places, I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta go. So it's like, I have a hard time. So when I go places, I'm not even kidding you. And it's not because like,

and it's not like I get stopped everywhere and please stop me if you see me. Like I love it. I just don't have that ability to be like, cause I'm not gonna like shut someone up. I mean, I do have that ability, but it's still very hard for me. And so I'll go and I just, yeah, I get drained sometimes.

So I have that, especially if somebody's like really pouring their heart out. So then typically I'll be like, oh shit, I gotta go. But like doing traders, that took a lot out of me. I came home, I'm not kidding you. I just went into hibernation for a while. I was like, I don't want my phone. I don't want to really go out or do anything.

And I'm not like a super, like I don't go out and party. My party is like, I'll be hanging out with my son, my sister, my dog. I am not someone who's like, I need to be out and about or no. So I really truly, I'm a homebody. I like, like even when Carson comes and stays with me, we literally go to the

grocery store, we'll buy a bunch of candy, and we'll like, that's amazing. Play Pokemon. Like, that's what I like. So that's how I recharge. But I do I do like take just spend that time to take care of me, whether it be journaling meditating Going on walks. I go up to the North Shore is my favorite I've been up there recently but like superior water like I am I

Love like people and I love but I get worn out. So like I said after like the traders are doing these events I'm just exhausted after yeah, I said, after like the traders are doing these events, I'm just exhausted after all. So I'll do like one a year. Yeah. But you know, it's like knowing yourself and knowing what you can do and just like limit having boundaries around that's important.

And you know what? It's like, it's nice to just be home and be like, I like just like the chill, one on one, calm, quiet. I mean, I have to say it like the everyone, everything going on at once, you know, slightly more overwhelming environments. I love those two once in a while. It is nice to just like also be like, be boring.

It's nice. Absolutely. also be like be boring. It's nice. Absolutely like that. I love just hanging out on my couch or like just be like you want to go to the dog park like I am not some fancy person. It's like like like I said like the traders and like that was so like out of my element like it's far like I don't I don't go in castles like so it was cool to, but I needed to recharge after that for sure. Because that's a lot.

Yeah, no, I can't even imagine, but excited to see it unfold. Look, I have even more questions for you. We'll get to that. I'm going to get to what I call 15 minutes with friends in a bit. But for now, I only have one more question for you for like this part of the podcast, which is a big question I ask everybody. So like just zooming zooming out, which is, Carolyn, if your life were a book or documentary, what would the title be? Where a book or documentary? What would the title be and why?

I actually it's interesting that you're asking that because I actually have a book coming out. No, I don't. But I want to. And I have a title for it, but I don't want to say it. I don't say that. Don't say that. But it's so good. And Carson helped me with the cover. Oh, don't say, OK, I'm going to get I'm going to get. So I can't think of it because I actually do have a book.

No, I'm not. Again, this is just like a dream. Yeah. No, it's you. It's happening. It's happening. You can get one. I'm like, can someone write this for me? What do they call that? Like, oh, ghostwriter, a ghost. Yeah. It's like that would take away all of the authenticity. I feel like it's like, but it's not though, if it's you, your words, like you talking, cause I think a lot of that's like them interviewing you and then they write it and all that fun stuff. Um, so I don't look, I don't think harmony wrote

her own book. I honestly, maybe I could imagine, cause I could imagine her like medicine. I'm excited to check that out. I just, I literally just today saw the, like, what is it good girls don't never win or whatever it might be, right? I'm trying to see that in July, it looks like it's coming out.

So it's honestly speaking of poverty I will say I have my little pride has spoken podcast buff here, but like But if we're trying me, Evy Evy and then our other co-host grace who's also a podcast We want poverty on the pride has spoken ifvati is listening, get her on the podcast. We'll record any time between now and Pride month, I'm sure. We'll wake up at 2 a.m. if we have to for Parvati. Like, we will do it. Like that, she's a hero for me on so many levels. And a lot of things that we've talked about here just like overlap with like, just like, the violence and also just meditation and mindfulness and taking care of yourself.

And like what she's, she's an icon. And I also just love how. As someone who hasn't been on survivor, how close this world is, like how we're having this conversation and I didn't even have to be out in Fiji for 26 days, maybe get it, or, you know, one day or three days, maybe depending on how things go, right? So it's, no, this is amazing. And I'm gonna let you off the hook with the book title.

I'll give you a title. I'm gonna go back to my little soundboard, which I figured out how to use. And the title is... Girl. we're just going to go with that. So anyway, Carolyn, any like closing words for the pod fit pod friends listeners or for people who are just following your journey? Just don't give up. Like it can be hard.

And I want people to know, like, because as I've opened up about like just struggles that I've gone through and still going through, it's like they'll be like, but Carolyn, you have this show that's coming up or you were on Survivor. What do you mean all this bad stuff has happened? It doesn't mean that I'm like resistant to struggle or that I still don't have days where I'm like, oh my gosh. But so it's like, just don't, don't give up. Like there is that light at the end of the tunnel

because I have had days where I'm like, oh, where I get in my head or I'm just like, but I'm so resilient and I'm just, I'm really proud of myself. So I'm so resilient and I'm just, I'm really proud of myself. So I would just say like, don't give up. Be proud of you. Thank you so much, Carolyn, for that conversation as part of Pod Friends.

Like I loved talking with you. I loved connecting. I love that there's even more over on the Patreon, patreon.com slash rjp on the free tier. And again, big shout out to the team behind the scenes, Sam Moore for helping me get things booked with Carolyn, Scott St. Pierre, Jess Sterling, Derek Stosinski, Rob Cesternino, and just the entire team behind the scenes. Thank you so much for making this possible, for giving me this space. And I am so thrilled for

the upcoming episodes. And just to give you a little bit of a preview since you made it this far, we have episodes coming up with the one and only Josh Wigler, with Sharon Tharp, entertainment journalist, and even more, which I'm sure I'll announce in the coming weeks. But thank you so much, everyone, for being part of this. And of this and thank you as always for being a pod friend.