RHAP: We Know Survivor - The Pride Has Spoken | Episode 15: Aysha Welch

Episode Date: June 1, 2025

The Pride Has Spoken | Episode 15: Aysha Welch The Pride Has Spoken celebrates LGBTQIA+ contestants on Survivor. Each episode this season, Evvie Jagoda (they/them; @EvvieJagoda), Matt Scott (he/him; @mattscottgw), and Grace Leeder (she/her; @hifromgrace) sit down with LGBTQIA+ players to reflect on their experiences—on the island and beyond. This episode features Survivor 47 contestant […]

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BEDMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Welcome back to the Pride Has Spoken Season 4. It's 2025 and we are back. My name is Grace Leder. I use she, her pronouns, but of course I'm not alone. First I'm here with Matt Scott. Matt, how are you doing? Yes, I'm Matt Scott. I'm happy to be here for the Pride Has Spoken and I use he, him pronouns.

But it's not just the two of us. It's the three of us. We've got Dr. Evy Jagoda. Evy, who are you? How are you doing? What are your pronouns? Hi, Matt. I'm Evy. I use they, them pronouns. I was on Survivor 41 and more importantly, the Pride has spoken seasons one through three. And I am so thrilled that we get to do another season of this beautiful show. I'm just so excited for another year. I feel like I this is one of the most special parts of Pride Month to me every year for the last now this is our fourth year, which is so cool. And I'm just so excited to bring all the people our beautiful, our beautiful collection of queer and other LGBTQIA plus identity reality show contestants.

It's so special. It's the best. Yeah. And to talk with you both about it. I know. So fun to get to bond with you. Sometimes I wish the guests weren't even there. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I mean, like right now. Yeah. If you've never listened to The Pride is Spoken, that's exactly what it is. It's an interview style podcast where we have LGBTQ survivors, mostly survivors, but we've had people from other shows on as well to celebrate those people who are LGBTQ, have been on our television screens to get to chat with them about their experience being LGBTQ on the show. But also what we didn't get to see on the show and anything else that's going on their lives. And it's lovely and wonderful. And I agree

with both of you. That's my favorite part of one of my favorite parts of Pride Month, that we get to talk with all these people and then people start reaching out being like, I love this podcast and it's, it's the best. So that's what we're here to do. If you are, you've probably seen, people have seen Matt, the title of the episode, but do you want to just like set up who is going to be joining us today? Yes. Uh, we have the phenomenal, the iconic, the ever beloved R.H.A.P. podcaster and survivor 47 legend, Asia Welch on, and, uh, this is such a special one.

I think we'll get into it, of course, in the conversation, but this is such a special one. I think we'll get into it of course in the conversation, but this is a coming out for Asia in so many ways and it was a beautiful conversation. It will be a beautiful conversation as we get into it. Laughter, crying, all of the things along the way, but so beautiful and I'm just thankful that we could have this space. Abby. Yeah. And there's a love story. Stay tuned. Check it out. It's wonderful. It's just so wonderful. And we're so it's just it is the most beautiful special thing

that someone would want to come out to the public on our platform here. And we're just I'm so honored. Two years in a row. Two years in a row. It's really the best. It's been so, so such a treat to get to. I think it's both so lovely that people see this as a space that they want to do that and that we get to provide that for them as well, it's the best thing ever.

So we will have a ton of other lovely guests. So we are planning to have five episodes this season, one every Sunday. So look forward to another Pride is Spoken episode coming every Sunday with a different LGBTQ survivor or reality TV contestant or personality or whoever walks through the door, virtual door to hang out with us. Every year, we also raise money for an LGBTQ charity. Yes, Grace. And I'm so honored to share that this year we're donating money for an LGBTQ charity.

Yes, Grace. And I'm so honored to share that this year we're donating proceeds to the Trevor Project, the world's leading organization focused on LGBTQ youth and keeping them alive and thriving through prevention and intervention. Through crisis services 24 seven, peer support, advocacy, public education, research.

Overall, they're focused on reminding people that they and you, each and every one of you, deserve a welcoming and loving world. And you can check them out at thetrevorproject.org. There are t-shirts available on RHAP's store. I think it's RHAP store. If you Google RHAP store. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's robiswebsite.com slash store.

But you can definitely find it on Rob's website dot com. That's correct. There are T-shirts. There are also very limited number of buffs still available. And I meant to wear my because I have my in the back. Check them out. If you're watching the video, you're seeing the coolest. Ever. And and every time there's a live R.J.P. event and there's a group picture of everyone wearing there's one in my heart. It's like the best thing I've ever seen.

I think we're also going to have other merch. So certainly a sweatshirt should be available because it's easy enough to put the RGP, the Pride of Spoken logo on other pieces of merch. So if you have other things you would want, we can't promise, but we'll see what we can do to make those happen. So certainly a sweatshirt might be available this year as well.

And then I am working in the background, Matt. And then you two are helping me out. In the background, not this, but this background right here. To try to put together another fundraiser this year. So we've been selling the t-shirts, we've sold the buffs. I am going to try something new. I think we're going to do a little bit of a raffle thing where I've been

talks with many LGBTQ survivors about the potential of maybe some Zoom calls, maybe some items that are signed, things like that. So we're not ready quite yet. Typical queer people, not exactly on time. But. Whoa. No, because that's not me. But that is a stereotype about.

Yeah, you're always early. Of our community. I think that's how there's only type A and type B. Like, like, yeah. You type some queer. Yes. So we're working on it, but we should have some information about a special charity raffle that we'll do.

So basically if you send us proof of a donation, we will enter you into a raffle to win one of several prizes. That's the plan. That's the plan. Anything else, Matt, did I miss anything? Oh my gosh. Well, yeah, we're, I mean, Evie's references,

we're on RHAP's YouTube, youtube.com slash at RHAP or something like that. Find us on YouTube. Look at our beautiful faces. It's so much better than just listening. Oh, you know, listening's great too. Keep doing that.

We love that also. This is a podcast. Watch and listen. Listen to the podcast and then watch and do both. If you're just listening, I want you to know we're all extremely hot. Hot, that's right. Oh yeah, hotter than you could even imagine're all extremely hot. Oh, yeah.

So you might want to check it out. You might want to check it out. Yeah. We often get flagged for being too sexy and we have to go, you know, it's OK. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Hot queer people. We can't like T.O.O.

There's three of us. Yeah. And we have and we have a hashtag for social media, Abby, as well, which what did you say? Hashtag social media. Yeah, we do. Hashtag the pride has spoken. Tag us. Tell us how you're feeling. Suggest guests that you want to see this year or next year. Tell us organizations you want us to be supporting

and send love to our beautiful guests for sharing their stories with us, because it really is just the most special thing. And if it means a lot to you to listen to it, it probably will mean a lot to them to receive to receive some some glows back. So, yes, send the nice things away. And if you think about writing a mean thing with the pride has spoken, hashtag, get the heck out of here. So that's ridiculous. We definitely swore on this podcast earlier, but I like that. It's true. The heck out of here. That's ridiculous. We definitely swore on this podcast earlier, but I like that.

It's not in our nature to be so so mean. All right. Well, let's jump to the conversation with Asia because it is lovely and a delight and a treat. I'm so excited for everyone. Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it excited for everyone at rakuten.ca or download the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N rakuten.ca Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer.

From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you're actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there. With over 3,000 games to choose from including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out. Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Welcome back to The Pride is Spoken. We are here with another, our first interview of 2025, and we are delighted to be joined with the one and only Asia Welch. Asia, how are you doing? Woo-hoo!

Hello, I'm doing well. So excited to be, I mean, talking to all of you, you know. Thank you. I think, Matt, you're the only one that I've never, like, talked about a tea- well, maybe Big Brother. I don't know. We did one rustling podcast together. Yes!

One. Our one. That's it. The one that I was, like, I was way in over my head. We're sorry. I'm sorry. Mari and I apologize for that greatly. But yeah. Yeah. But Gracie and I talked about Big Brother plenty.

And we we have the ultimatum career love. And are we are we officially are we going to do season two? Oh, absolutely. We talk about it. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Let's go. So coming June 25th. Yeah. And so very excited for that. That is like well overdue because that is just if you haven't watched it, go check it out now on Netflix.

If you like this podcast, you will probably watch the Queer Ultimatum. Like on Netflix with like the suggested next thing to watch or YouTube next thing to watch. Like that's solid. Yeah. Gosh, this is exciting though that we're here. I mean, I feel like this is, I mean, Asia, you're the guest. Like it's, it's wild to think about because you, me and Grace, we became part of our HAP almost exactly five years ago. We have an Asia show, but five years ago, class of 2020. And now here we are, like a different dimension.

You are the guest on The Pride Has Spoken. I know. It's so weird for me because I feel like I've grown so much since starting to podcast for RHAB. I mean, obviously grown as a podcaster, but I feel like obviously through experience going on to survivor, I'm just like the person I am today. It doesn't feel like I'm just five years removed. It feels like that is a, oh, that, that was me growing up, but this is like me in full form. So it's, it's, it's wild to know. Like I could

track it over just looking at podcasts over the years. That is a really interesting part. Yeah, it must be the class of 2020. You have this like, our lives are so documented over the last few years. But it's, you know, just, I'm gonna break the ice a little bit here, which is, we were,

Matt, Ebby and I got together and we're like, all right, this is year four. Is that right? That's wild That sounds about right. Yeah, we would probably talk all about this in the intro, but that's okay we're gonna do it again here and We're throwing out names of people which is very fun. First of all, you have to say there's nothing that feels more homophobic And trying to get and you're like, I think this person could be on, but I don't actually know if they're queer or not. But I was thinking, I think Matt threw out your name,

and I think- I did. I'm gonna clarify how I read it. It was like, oh yeah, like of course, yeah, like of course. Like, because then I could remember Asia if this was like news or not. Wait, let me just take, pick up where you left off with that because like, I also, I'm like, oh yeah.

Like even going back to last fall and you could talk more about that journey, but I'm just like, oh yeah. Okay. Of course. Like Asia, Asia has a girlfriend, of course. Like, but I specifically remember going up to you and being like Asia. And I think Sam Moore was like, Matt wants you on pod friends. Uh, and you were like, well, there's's that or we could do the pride has spoken.

And I was like, great. And then you followed up on it. We made it happen. So what a journey. But yes, I know. Go, go for it. Our reactions. I love that. I could be a guest on the pride has spoken as like a coming out. I think people should use that

if you're looking for a way. I actually met someone recently, a fan, who was like, I listened to The Pride Has Spoken, wink, wink, nod, nod, and I was like, yeah, I got you. Yeah. I love that. We, I think we're gonna have new merch this year. Like, and I think the merch is generally just gonna be like,

you can get stuff other than a t-shirt, but there's also the idea we've been throwing around of other, like new merch designs. And I do think a good one could be Asia. I could be a guest. Huh? If you know what I mean, right? We with a nice the way Asia winking.

Oh, that's it. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, because, OK, I have listened to every episode of The Pride Has Spoken. And if people are like, what is Asia doing here? We're just we're just circling around it. Matt, like you said, I do have a girlfriend. I am bisexual. And it's something that like since podcasting, like since starting the podcast, I've known. And so it's been one of those things, like even the episode y'all had when you had

like it was from the podcast, like you had podcast. I was thinking that was just like, you know, I don't I don't like I could say something, but then I could just like sit in the shadows and just continue to just exist. Right. And so it's just been this interesting journey I've been on and just like learning about myself. I would say I've known my, most of my life but I think part of the privilege of being bi is that,

oh, it's easier to just like I can just say men because I don't have to deal with talking about it with my family. I don't have to worry about people's perception. And I don't have to worry about judgment or anything like that. And then it finally was like covid when I was like, what, why am I like, who, who am I doing this for? Like, am I living my life for other people or do I want to, you know, be happy myself?

And that's when I like came out to my brother who was also bi. Did you know that when you came out to him? Yes, yes. Oh my gosh. And it's funny because when I told my mom, I was like, we have more in common than you think. What do you mean?

And he was there with me to deliver that news. That's so sweet. Yeah, it was a really pure moment. We were at my house and she was just like in town, or they both were in town visiting. And I had overthought it. I was just like, oh, what if she like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't stay. Relatable. So I'm like preaching to the choir. But yeah, it was just kind kinda, when I ripped that bandaid and told her and told my brother, I was like, okay, now I feel like me. Like I feel like I'm not living in some type of like disguise. I feel like I can be fully myself because you could feel that way even in playing survivor.

Like you're hiding one thing, so you feel like you can't be open about everything. And so I feel like, oh, if I'm, you know, if I if I'm being fully myself, I don't have to hide how much I love the ultimate queer love, you know? Right. Yeah. And so when I I think even at that point, I still was in a place of just like, but that doesn't mean that I'm just going to start dating women. And like, at least I've identified that about myself, but that doesn't mean that I'm ready for that part.

I don't I'm not ready for, oh, have a girlfriend. People, you know, cast whatever judgment or whatever. And then, yeah, fast forward to now. It's one of those things where like, yeah, you it's you come out every single day, every single time you telling somebody, oh, I have a girlfriend or or whatever. It's you coming out. And so I have found like through the,

like through my season of Survivor, through season 48, going to events and stuff. And I'm like, the easiest thing for me is just to be like, oh, this is my girlfriend. It's out there now. You know, just we keep it pushing. Then I don't have to have that moment of like, let me sit you down and tell you my sexuality.

But it's, I think what, for me, the reason I was staying up front is just like hiding in the shadows or whatever, is because when I am, even when I'm on podcasts, with the hours and hours and hours of podcasts I've been on, it's something I've never talked about. And I just rarely talk in detail about myself. May talk about places I've been,

talk about my dogs, of course. But talking about yourself is completely different. Yeah, it is. And it's like, it is so powerful though. Like I have to just say the line because it's the famous line, Asia, you are forging your own path and we'd love to see it.

But it's so interesting because I think we all can relate. And I especially wonder Grace's perspective on this. Like when you're podcasting, you are so exposed. And something I've come to with the pride has spoken, but also with pod friends is just like, I'm talking about whatever and whatever's out there, whoever's going to listen and like you can't hide at some point once you share those things. And it's kind of like, I found it's nice

to be seen by people. I was already, I know I was messaging with you yesterday about this, but just the response that people will even have to this, even though they already know you so much and love you so much is powerful. So thanks for sharing all this. Yeah, it's so awesome that you're here.

You're talking about it. And the thing is, there's no expectation for people to talk about it, but it's like the fact that you approached me and you're like, so, you know, the Pride is spoken, you know, there's someone back. But it really is. I do think one of the things that I really didn't expect to come out of the Pride of Spoken is just how much I think that this series has resonated so much with bi people and specifically bi folks who have often been in hetero perceived relationships.

The amount of messages I'll get every year about the Pride of Spoken being like, when you said you're queer no matter what, even if you you're in a, you know, it's a cis man with a like a cis woman, it's like my sexuality is valid. They're just like, thank you for saying that. It seems wild. You have to say it, but I do think there is like, that's such a common theme of especially people feeling like, yeah, there is something I think that's like really interesting about that perspective from bi people. interesting about that perspective from bi people. And I'll also just like add, cause this is, you made this comment Asia of like it being easier in a way when you're bi,

but I think that's also like as a bi person who typically dates men more, it's like, it is challenging because it's not like, here's this thing, I'm gay, like this is my truth. Like I have to own this. You have this other way that society treats and perceives very differently. And I do think that adds to the complexity

of it all sometimes, right? Absolutely, because I think even the just years of just like thinking about it or just like even thinking, even like growing up and maybe having a crush on even like having crushes on boys, but then also having crushes on girls and me at the time thinking, oh, like if I dated girls, I would like her when that's not a thought a straight person has, but normalizing it myself for so long. And then finally getting to the point where like, okay, I'm confident in this.

I know this is like, I know this is how like I feel and where my preferences lie. I think it's still something that you still have to like stand 10 toes down on because I've dealt with both. I've dealt with guys where I've been open and just like, hey, just so you know, up front, like, this is my sexuality and they're like, are you sure? And even women who are like, are you sure?

And so it's just kind of like, okay, we already have to deal with people who aren't a part of the community questioning people's, you know, sexuality, like for one reason or another, but then even to do it in like romantic pursuits is like, you know, it's not something that you think about that you have to deal with, but then when you encounter it, you're just like, OK, this is one more battle, I guess. That's so stupid. I'm so sorry that you've experienced that, Isha. I also I was going to ask, like you said, you basically like you were

there's a time when you really came to it and yourself of like your byness. And I was wondering if if there was something that happened at that time or like really like what what brought you to that place? What when are we in life? Right. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess I mean, for sure, it definitely COVID times. And I would say like if I'm thinking like 2020, 2021. And so what are you up to? Right.

So I'm starting a podcast. I'm working from home fully now. Um, and so I'm just kind of like in that full, just like self reflection, self discovery phase, cause I'm getting all this time without interaction with people. Yes. So I'm like, is this what I needed? Like, to finally figure some things out? Yeah. You're like the whole, you just, people, we kind of, I'm like, is this what I needed? Like, it's a little bit of like things out.

Yeah, you're like the whole people we kind of I feel like I was on autopilot for so long and then it's like, you're like, oh, there's so many of my routines that are not like that's just because that's the way the world was, you know? And the world changed so dramatically. Exactly. And I was single. And so I think being single, especially in this day and age where it's just like, OK, where I'm at an age, even then, what is that? Five years ago, even then, I'm at a place where a lot of my friends are married,

have kids, the ones that are single or actively looking. So then it's kind of like, OK, you're kind of the oddball. If you are choosing to be single because you're just trying to like figure things out. And so I think in that place, I was just like trying to figure out, okay, what does this even look like if, like what does this look like in future dating?

Like you pill the band-aid, you express your sexuality to like a future romantic interest. How are they gonna react to it? Are they gonna also have another like, oh, well, are you sure moment? Then you're just like, okay, then maybe, I didn't have to say anything. Cause I did, I, which isn't the solution.

Like I think it's very important to like know, like know who you want to love. Uh, and because I don't necessarily, I believe that like, well, it's not that I don't believe, but I think people put such an emphasis on labels. And then if people don't understand the label, then it's on you to have to explain. And it's just kind of like, it's a lot when you just want to be yourself, right? And so even thinking about that, I'm like, okay,

if I'm dating someone, do I just go from Asia or am I just like, oh, this is Asia who's confused on who she wants to date, you know? So it's such a stigma with bisexuality as well. Yeah, that's what made it like very, I mean, like it was odd. So even once I realized I was like, okay, this is who I am. That's why it took me a while to even like, okay,

let me change my preferences on Hinge. Let's see what's out there. You know, go on a few dates. But I think it was so I one, I went on a date with one guy. And he was like, Oh, so like, have you like, tell me about your exes? Like, what was she like? What was he like? And I was like, Wow. Why? I was like, why did you say she he's like, I don't know. I don't want to assume. Oh, well, that. No. Why did you say she? He's like, I don't know. I don't want to assume. Oh, well, that. No. Mm hmm.

But it felt that I was like, OK, that's such a nice perspective. I was like, that was one of the moments that just was kind of like a sigh of relief. It was like, OK, not everyone in the world is going to be like, oh, my gosh, this, this, you know, I'm going to judge you for this. And so that's kind of what like brought me into that place. And I also was in a place in life where like I was raised Christian. I still am Christian. And I was in this place when I graduated from college, which was in 2013.

So, yes, 12 years ago. So I go. I am 33. Yes, 12 years ago. So long ago. I am 33. Since not that long ago. Oh my gosh. I just felt like. I'm in the same way. I'm also 33.

So it's like. I'm about to be 33. Oh my gosh. You guys. Wow. Look at us. Oh my God. And you guys are queer.

Oh my God. No way. are queer. Oh my God. No way. Exactly. Chalker. But I will take this minute to be the baby for two more months. Okay. I'm 32. Jess 32? Wow. Yeah, exactly.

So after college, I was in this place where I was just like trying to figure out like what my faith is going to look like. Because growing up, it was always the thing I did with my family. And so being out on my own, I'm just like going to look like because growing up it was always the thing I did with my family and so being out On my own. I'm just like going to church. I'm like, oh, this is feels different without my family around me So netlal and like trying to you know, be more established in my faith on my own And then I got to a place where I was a part of a church that I was serving Every weekend I'm talking Saturday Sunday because it was a mobile church, setting up, breaking down, serving the services.

And then- Oh, I thought you meant like serving. You were serving the looks. Yes. Serving all kinds of looks. Right. That too. No, it was on like the production team.

And so I did that for three years, like consistently. Like maybe I would have a week in a way where I was like traveling or whatever, but like every weekend at the church, and it turned, I was like, I got burnt out, right? Like it was no longer like, oh, I'm going and enjoying the service. It's like, oh, no, I'm going to work

and I'm not even on staff. And so that I also stepped away from serving and from serving at that church at the beginning of 2020. So now I'm just like really in this like turn the page, like, okay, I'm about like relationship over religion. And so it's kind of like, how do I define that? Because, you know, people ruin religion is what I believe. And so I'm just like, okay, what does my relationship

with God look like moving forward, now not being a part of that church, also while discovering my sexuality, knowing the stigma that is in the church, if you weren't even witnessing things of people around me that were serving that may have like come out at the time and like how people were passing judgment then. So so then I was in this really transformative period in 2020 because it was such a big part of my life at that time.

And then also starting a podcast. So now I'm in the space where like I don't even post like I'm not the type of poster on Instagram where I'm just like, Hey guys, check out what I'm doing today. Da da da da da. Like I don't talk to my phone. I am like showing you what my dogs are doing or showing you like an experience. But you do have my best.

You do have the best content online. I will say yes. The best. They're the best. Oh, yeah. And so I'm like now. OK best. They're the best. Oh, yeah. And so I'm like, now, OK, now I'm the face. Right. All right. Like I'm a face speaking in front of a mic and now I'm opening myself up for people to have opinions about me, like about whatever.

Like it doesn't even like even just about my opinions about Big Brother. You know, so it was a lot happened in 2020. Yeah, well, just I'm not know. It was also a full pandemic. I'm not sure. I was like, I'm curious if you knew there was a full pandemic that was happening. But it's interesting because like, I'm so curious about like what your relationship with feedback is.

Like this is we'll get to more of the queer stuff. But like, are you were you like looking at the comments? Because I feel like the thing is like when you're so out there and exposed like and i think of dashan with this actually where like you're on survivor and we haven't even gotten to that point yet but like you're on survivor and people just perceive you in certain ways and that could be insanely vulnerable like you are on podcasts all the time people perceive you in certain ways whether or not you're like comfortable sharing that. I'm curious how that has been and what role like podcasting has played with your coming out journey. And then of course, there's survivor with that too. But curious if podcasting was a factor in that at all.

It's so funny you say perceiving because that's like something I always tell my girlfriend because she's so observant. And she'll be like, oh, I noticed this and you were acting this way. So are you okay? I'm like, stop perceiving me. You say that all the time. But with feedback from podcasting, so pre-Survivor,

I was very much so like, mm, I read it, but it's just kinda like, I don't know, like if I value opinions from people that I know. And so in that situation, it's like, this is this faceless person, I have no idea. I think I just had, I think, well, just growing up as a black woman,

I've developed very thick skin throughout the years, right? And so even just like, oh, getting a random DM of someone calling me the N word, you know, just like, okay, blah, you know, so it is it's disgusting, like the type of people that will engage, because the people that love you, like, you you meet them at events and stuff, but they're not the people that are constantly like in your DMs, like saying something or hiding behind like a Twitter profile picture. So it's kind of just like, I block very easily.

I don't respond much on social media. Like, okay, if it's in a DM and you're personally telling me something that we like, we can, it's a conversation we can talk about but if you're just Attacking me then I just like I just blatantly ignore it and so that was interesting heading into survivor because I was just like, okay, I Gotten it on a small scale. So no matter what happens You know if I go out there and go first and people have all of these opinions or whatever

then I'm just like I had I, I feel like even though I am online a lot, what do you call it? I don't know. Chronically online. Chronically online? Yeah. Yeah, even though I'm chronically online, I think I have a healthy relationship with notifications.

So, comments or whatever, I don't even think I've seen all the comments that were on the post that Survivor posted of my torch being snuffed, because it's just like people always have opinions that are just like, I don't have to pay attention to. And just like, I don't have to pay attention to. And just like literally, who cares? Like if you like if you watch Survivor and like thought

Asia did bad at Survivor, who fucking cares? Like, like, oh, you're going to write that on an Instagram post. OK, like, you know what I mean? Like that's OK. It is going to go like live her life and like got to go on Survivor and play the game that you want to play. And I'm just like, like, truly, truly. Like, what is the. If you find yourself doing that, what there's obviously so much more

missing from your life than, like, like the the thing that you're trying to put out there, it's just like it doesn't matter. And I just. Yeah. I'm glad you went in with that attitude going in already. Yeah, it's like, what did you get out of that? No, right. Yeah. Like instead of me responding, what did you get out of that?

What's the ideal outcome for that person? Exactly. Yeah. Like, oh, I'm sad. Hmm. That sucks. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Right. Exactly. But that, I mean, even just knowing that no matter what I say, people may have an opinion about it. I think that helped me going into Survivor and just knowing that like, it was very easy

for me to talk with the cameras around where like, plenty of people on my drive would say things like, oh shoot, you know, forgot the cameras around where like plenty of people on my drive would say things like, shoot, you know, forgot the cameras. And so it was like, I'm used to being in a space where I don't have to be like, oh, if I'm going to say something or people going to feel a certain type of way, I'm like, no, because I watch, I listen, I do podcasts, I don't listen to them back, but I know that I can stand behind everything that I said. It's such an interesting, I think we've never had this conversation on here before and it's almost like above,

like it's different than the queer experience, but this thing of like, on one hand, we all have chosen to like podcast, or for the two of you to go on national television because you just wanted to play a game. But we all podcast because we assume like to some degree, like it is nice that people are like listening to us speak, you know, and so it is nice. Thank you. It is. Yeah. Thank you so much. Like, yeah, for once in a while people are going to be like, oh, I love listening to that. And it

was like, that is weird that you were like, I still like it full imposter syndrome to be like, you want it. You do want to hear myoster syndrome to be like, you want it. You do want to hear my opinions about whatever random thing, you know? And that is meaningful. And at the same time, there is a level of like both the super positive and the super negative that you kind of have to like figure out how to like live your life. Like we do this thing because yeah, we, you know, like it'd be impossible if nobody listened. Um, and, and there are times where I think like, especially the series, um, this one because like it's really important for people to hear like our respective and the perspective

of all of the people that we choose to interview, including you. And at the same time, like we have to sort of figure out how to have like a healthy relationship with the fact that like people do listen to us, you know, and then in the world of like intense social media, anybody can have an opinion on anything, including us talking about like having opinions about a thing, you know, it is exactly really messy, real messy. And meta too. Yeah.

Because the difference is that even with podcasts, like even if it's a live podcast, we can say, hey, Rob, can you edit? Like when you repost that, can you edit out this part? I mean, like I've never done it, but it could happen, right? Like we have the ability to do that. You have no control over the edit that goes on CBS, right? And so for me, even applying, I was very open about being by and going through casting.

And for those out there who have never heard me say this in any of my ex-hitter interviews, I did not talk about R.H.P. at all during casting. Like it literally was something that was like found out after the fact. Like I did everything. I was like, wait, what's our HAP? Because because you were afraid you were afraid or why not? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I didn't I didn't want that to be a reason that they were like, oh, no. Yeah. But then they put it in the show and everything.

Yeah, because they loved it. Yeah, literally. Yeah. It's just wild. Because I said it once. Just shows sometimes you're afraid of something and it's the thing that people like about you. That's true. No, I said it. No metaphors there. Right. Yeah.

I said it once. And then after that, they were like, just say the podcast. And I was like, OK. I was like, they're definitely not going to use that. They definitely did. But going knowing that like, OK, I was being open to casting. I still was in a place like I had dated girl. I had like gone on dates with women, but I had never had a girlfriend.

And so it was still this place of like, I'm still trying to figure out what that looks like for me, because it's like, I felt like not like a fraud, but it felt like how can I go on here and try to be this representative, you know, for the LGBTQ plus community when I'm still like dipping my toes, I'm still like feeling the I'm still in the shallow end, like waving the water around like, is it warm enough? I haven't adjusted. But.

Except for like the 33 years, you know? Yeah, exactly. Of life experience. Yeah, exactly. Of being a bisexual person. Yeah. Feeling that and coming in terms of that. You're like, there's also so many men and women

I want to date who are in the deep end of the pool. I'd like to go there. Yeah. I'd like to get the deep end looks real fun. Like it looks amazing. I'm like, like I said, I've listened to every episode of this podcast and I'm like, that's just so amazing. Even listening to Deshaun last year, like I remember reaching out to him. Just like, thank you so much for sharing your story. Like, I could relate

on every level. And it was just kind of like, I think you, if you're going to apply to Survivor, you don't need to be in a place where you feel like you are 100% know yourself, you're 100% like in full form. Like, I still felt like I was developing in so many ways, even at 32 years old at the time. But I remember even in a confessional, I was like, oh, so like you're very open about like, you know,

you open up about a lot of things. Are you that way with your sexuality? And I was like, I'm still like trying to find the words. And they were like, we don't have to talk about it. I was like, oh, OK. And that was about it. I was like, oh, okay. And that was it. And so I was like, oh, that feels amazing. Cause I immediately felt the pressure

to have the right words. I'm like, I'm being recorded right now, right? Like I don't wanna say anything to like, we have enough people in the world that are in the closet. I don't wanna say anything that makes people think like, I don't know, just being on that type of platform, you start to feel. Because I already felt like being a representative as a black woman. Right. And it's just like, OK, there you can you could probably go through and name

black women in place, right. Especially like, OK, new era. Right. And so I'm like, OK, if I'm going to speak on this, I need to make sure that I'm being thoughtful. And in that moment, I just kind of was like, oh, I don't know. You know, it's like, at that point, it was the beginning of the game. And I just like, they were like, you don't have to talk about it. So I was like, okay.

That felt like a huge relief off my shoulders. I was like, okay, even though this is something I'm still like trying to figure out how how to casually come out to people. Do you need to? You know, like what what is the like? People don't have to say, hey, guys, I'm straight. You know, it's just like it in that. I still was in a place where I'm just like, I don't know what needs to happen, what doesn't need to happen, what needs to be said, doesn't need to be said. So it was very like nice that I didn't have to worry about that at the time.

But even in the game, Keishon and Teenie were the only ones who knew. I told them like in passing separately. And then we had like a really heartfelt moment with Keyshawn, like sharing his story with like me and Teenie. And so for me, it was like, oh, we're connected. Like, you got three people from our community on this tribe. Like, we're we're good.

And so it wasn't a situation where I was trying to use that for the game. But I think it adds context to why I felt like we had like more of an emotional bond totally in the game. Totally. And so it that was like that was something that I was just like, oh, well, OK, wow. Now, when you look at the boot, now when you look at the 47 booter, it's real home. It's really homophobic. So homophobic. Homophobic. Wow. Wow. And were you and that was like that was on camera.

You all talking about that? I've so I had shown that. So when I when I told Keishon and Teenie separate, I think Keishon was for sure off camera. It was just kind of like we were like moving from one place to another in the camp. There were no cameras on us and I was just like, oh, hey, by the way. And then I can't fully remember with Teenie, but I knew that they were the only two that knew. And so I was like, okay, I feel good with them. It felt like, okay, I can let my hair down with them.

Yeah. Yeah. like, okay, I feel good with them. It felt like, okay, I can let my hair down with them. But then, yeah, turns out Gishon had the same conversation, like emotional conversation with Genevieve. And so that just evil, evened out the playing field, I guess. Evil Freudian. Is that a Freudian thing? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Wow.

I really relate to the the yeah, the pressure to like find the words and to be able and to distill your identity or figure out your identity for the purposes of communicating it to a national audience. And it's a really, really intense experience. And Teenie has written beautiful things about this as well. And like. Yeah, it's like it's it's kind of like damn. There's no matter what you do, there's a cost and there's a benefit. Like, I feel like you and I kind of had opposite

opposite strategies where I was like, OK, I'm going to like force this to be at every second. I'm going to wear a rainbow underwear and like, you know, put this everywhere. And then there's like something really nice about not being able to have the option of being in the closet. You know what I mean? There's like there's you were saying before about, you know, being by privilege to like not not, you know, to date men and not be perceived as queer.

But then I think it's like a privilege. And there's also a cost, right? Where it's like not being yourself and like being in the closet is is a tax and a toll. And like, you know, even though it's hard to be out and be open, it's also a blessing and a gift. And so it's like. It's just so wild and intense, and there's no right or wrong.

And there's just which hard, which gifts, which curses, you know, it's like it's a lot. Exactly. Because I even like I try, I mean, because I'm only a year out, right. From playing. So I'm still in the thick of every other day regretting things in a game. And so. And how long does that last, Abby? Let us know when. Yeah, I'll tell you. I'll tell you when it stops. OK, great. Oh, gosh.

No, I'm just kidding. I actually rarely I rarely, rarely think about what I did wrong. But if you want to know what I did wrong, I could tell you the exact. I know it's it's wild to, cause I try not to think about it in that context. I try to just think about it like, okay, alliances or whatever. But when I think about it in that context, I'm like, I wonder if I had like just taken the time and like share,

it's shared that with Genevieve. Cause we had such a barrier in the game of like, Genevieve wanted to work with Rome, I wanted to work with Saul, and we couldn't get the four of us together because there was just beef. And so I'm like, if I had just taken that time to open up to Genevieve and just been like,

hey, this is who I am, I'm just sharing this with you, just so you know more about who I am, it makes me wonder, because now we're in a place where we're a year out of the game and like Genevieve is one of the people I'm closest to on the cast. Like her and my girlfriend have a great relationship like we and and we talk often. And so it's kind of like,

I mean, it took it took us like not a full year to get there, but it's just like, it makes you just wonder, like, OK, what if it could that have changed anything being more myself, not just specifically with Genevieve, but just if that had been my approach coming into the game, would that have changed anything? And it could have not. Like it could have just not been a factor. but you all, you, you want to think of everything. Like, you know, let me, the one thing I think like, and I don't know if this is how you feel,

but part of me, what I'm hearing is, is like, you'd be like, oh, if I had have done the same, if I had been more open about my sexuality, but also at the same time, like me wanting to be, you've like, no, it's totally understandable that like people like the whole thing about, um, we have like national coming out there. I always think about like there are people who let them like feel embarrassed that they're not out yet. And like, the time that it's right to come out to whoever, like I say this every year, like, uh, as I think you beat me to the bingo card, which is like,

unless I say it in the intro, which I probably, I will, um, which is like, you come out all the time, like constantly, like, like for me being treated like you go to deliver a mail and it's like you get in there like you're great. And it's like, yeah, yeah. You know, so I'm like coming out in that moment, you know? And so I did the idea of like, I just want to like reinforce mostly to the audience because I don't know how you you've been like're like, oh, I regret not coming out. I'm putting words a little bit in your mouth,

but I want people to know and recognize, it's because of society sucks is why I like you more. If you weren't able to have that conversation with Genevieve, it's not because of anything you personally, it's this whole structure that's built around everything. Yeah. And and like, oh, sorry. Oh, I just know. I was just going to say, adding like survivors also as someone who has not

played survivor, but it definitely seems like a pressure cooker where like for all, you know, Genevieve might have still done the same thing. Yeah, like it could have played out the exact same way. Yeah. It's hard to know. But maybe the next time if someone comments on your torch snuffing thing of like, you played so bad, you should comment. You should comment. You're right. I should have come out to Genevieve.

You're so right. You're right. I should have come out to Genevieve. Oh, and you think, right? There's going to be some moment when Genevieve, if someone comes out to Genevieve and to be like, oh, drop. There's going to be some moment and I see it with Genevieve, if someone comes out to Genevieve and we're like, that's the winning move. They're going to go to the end. Literally, now I see what would happen.

I don't think that will happen because there's not that many queer people on season 50. You know, we don't know as far as we know now. But there's a devastating lack of intersection between Pride has spoken guests and Survivor 50 contestants. Not if they come out to Genevieve. OK, that's right. That's right. That's the path. Look, yes. And I mean, speaking of that, I'm so proud of Genevieve.

I'm so excited to watch her on season 50. And so, yeah, like I don't say any of that to say like her actions would have been different by any means. But it's one of those things that I have like reflected on. Like I'm very appreciative of like her and I's friendship now and then it makes me wonder like, hey, what relationships or bonds did I prevent by not just being myself? What relationships or bonds did I prevent

by not just being myself? Which could have been anything, right? But you wanna blame any, like, what if I took shorts instead of pants? You know, you just think about all the what ifs. And so, like, because I feel like reflecting on my survivor experience, the biggest thing I got out of it was being unapologetically myself.

Because even coming out of it, it wasn't like I immediately was thinking like, oh, maybe I should have like just come out to my whole tribe. It was like, no, maybe I should have like just come out to my whole tribe. It was like, no, I feel like now I've put myself on national television. And now I feel like and I like openly talked about it at Ponderosa. And John always had such great advice for me. So and I remember the moment TK found out he's just like, wait, what? We talk so much. You never told me. So and I remember the moment TK found out he's just like, wait, what? We talked so much. You never told me.

It's just like we we've bonded. Blacked out that John Lovett was on survival. I was like, oh, my God, what? Like, wow, we should get him on the Pride has spoken. No, I guess we did talk about that. But I still I was like, John, oh, my God. We actually have like killing it for 47 representation. Yeah, yeah. So I guess so.

OK, we're sorry that started to interrupt you. Yeah, it was something that like, OK, even though coming out of the game, it's like, dang, OK, it's over. But now I have Ponderosa, which is like a continuation of your experience. And it was like, oh, feeling like I could fully be open with my sexuality and like, no one cared. It was just like they knew that was them learning one more thing about me was amazing.

And it just was like, when I get back, I'd need to just like, who cares? Like it really is a who cares. And so I definitely can like give credit to me going through, like playing a game helped me come on the other side of it, just like more unafraid to be my authentic self, which is really cool. Like even like some of my best friends are like,

they're like after like you're still Asia But you're just like a more confident Asia. I don't know what it is I'm like, okay, that's cool. Like that like growth happened, you know And it's it and so it makes me really appreciative of the experience when I start getting into the weeds of like why this why that? Like you know what? I don't I wouldn't be where I am today. Had I not gone through that experience, um, which is something I can be very appreciative of. Appreciative of. I feel like so many times, there's like a thing of people come off and there's

where like, there's a more of like, you know, I feel like, like Bryce's situation, like the feds, lots of people been on this podcast who have talked about what like survivor, like the ways in which the structure of society, which then survivors of microcosm of society is like, was like hard. But so it's really interesting to hear you actually talk about survivor was like this thing that you got in terms of queerness actually got something like a positive thing out of it. I think it's like really fascinating and I really love

hearing that. Yeah, I mean, and I think, like, I definitely feel that my experience was also extremely positive in that regard. And like, especially like, um, you know, I definitely think like, especially new era cast, like I think everyone is coming in expecting there's going to be queer people, like there's not going to be someone on there that is like overtly or even like one layer below overtly homophobic, like in general. And like, it's cool to be able to share yourself with a variety of different people from all

walks of life. Like, it really is special. Like I think of the moments of like talking about my queerness with like Tiffany or Nasir or like Danny McCray. And it's just like, that's special and cool to like be in a totally different environment and talking to people with totally different life experiences of you and having them accept you

because they're nice people and you're like, have connected in this totally different way of playing this, you know, ridiculous game. And I think there's also something, I was just thinking about, and when you were saying, Ijeb, I think there's also something I was just thinking about when you were saying, I think there's also something so freeing about losing survivor where you're like, all I wanted to do was not lose survivor. And then I did.

And it's just like, OK, you know, it's like, yeah, like in your death experience, like you face the thing that you were so worried about. And you know, you wanted this other thing so bad and you didn't get it. And you thought that would be the worst thing in the world. And yeah, okay. Not to brag, but Matt and I don't know what you're talking about. No, that's right.

Never lost forever. But you're still in chains, baby. Still in chains. I'm defeated. That's right. You're the same Grace I knew in 2010. Oh no. No evolution at all.

Right. That's sad. Yeah, no, it's so true. And I think like, I mean, that's part of the like hidden experience too, specifically with Ponderosa is that like we're not being televised. You're still in this environment with people that you're just meeting.

And yeah, everyone's from different walks of life. And so it's kind of like, wow, this is a nice little testing ground for what what I can share when it you know it can be socially acceptable you know or people going to like like uh we're not gonna you know it it's I think things are always worse in your head right and it's just it was just so nice getting to just like open up and bond. So shout out to John and TK and Keeshawn and Anika and Tiana. True. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they're they're all so amazing.

And it just was like, wow, this is and then John wrapped it up for us on like one of our last nights. He was like, none of us came in here wanting to lose Survivor, right? So he was like, but this became part of our experience. This Ponderosa experience was... It is part of our Survivor experience. I'm like, you know what? You were so right. I have to say, I think universally, the pre merge has like a beautiful ponderosa experience.

And the post merge is crazy. A nightmare. Dark. I mean, you're having to go to tribal and just like so much more. I feel like you reach a different like, like the the yeah, the next level of the freedom thing happens to the pre merge people. And then everyone has a transformative experience from the suffering. Yeah. Yeah. It's still wild because even coming back, I I mean, obviously I'm dealing with losing,

but I wasn't in a place where I'm just like, OK, now I just share with the world. Yeah, it was just still kind of like, OK, no, now I can be unhinged, I can have my preferences as men and women. I thought you said unhinged for a second. I'm like, oh my gosh. I can let loose. That's why I thought, I was like, Asia came back. She feels pretty unhinged, right?

Right. We've all been talking about it. That actually, because I was just about to say, I mean, I think there's like, I feel like the goal is not necessarily share everything with everyone. It's be true to yourself. Yeah. And it seems like inherent to your personality is some amount of I'll share what I want to share.

I'll post what I want to post on my Instagram. I don't need to be taking you in the bathroom with me all the time or like, whatever. You don't talk to your phone. and like, yeah, you got to stop posting your bathroom. Tick tock. Do you know how many times I've taken an awesome hair photo while sitting on the toilet and I'm just filled with regret my personal boundaries? Like this is the best lighting in the world.

And I can't hear it. No, but you know what I mean? Like, and I, and I really do feel like, I just feel like that is like, like, you know, there's, there's not telling people things because you're afraid. And because you're like, um, you are just like afraid about the reaction. And then there's like not telling people things because you're like, that's my business and I don't need to like, even the thing with like TK, I was like, obviously you guys talked more than we saw on the show, but I'm like, when in that challenge, were you supposed to be like, Hey, by the way, TK, I was like, obviously you guys talked more than we saw on the show. But I'm like, when in that challenge were you supposed to be like, hey, by the way,

TK, I'm fine. Look over there. Like, I'm going to get the thing first. Also, I'm sure TK is lovely, but I think you get a note when you when like you've come out to someone and then people get like, why do you tell me before? You're like, because I was stressing about it. Like, it's great. Oh, my. You tell me before. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's so funny You told me before. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's so funny because like we had a full I mean, even though like our tribals, like I went out day seven, Keeshaan went out day eight. So we just had a full day of like John was always playing like the PlayStation. But me and TK had a full day of just like talking and getting to know each other and like learning about our backgrounds and stuff. And I think it was like it wasn't until a couple of days later that like it came up. And he was like, wait, why didn't you say anything? Yeah.

But yeah, that's why I'm like, I wish the world could see. Had gotten to see more TK. He is so amazing. He's like the kindest guy. He was in Houston a couple weeks, weekends ago and like me and my girlfriend went to dinner with him and he's just so sweet. Oh, love that. Oh, there's like so much there but and there's more on the experience. I mean I think one of the things just to clarify like you it sounds like coming well going into watching this season, I'll say, you didn't expect for there to be anything

about your sexuality on the show, because it sounds like more talk about than confessionals. Because we often ask people about, and one thing we see often with queer women who are on the show, and I think of, I mean, so many people like Kelly and Elbandian being a great example of this, and we've had these different conversations on the Pride is Spoken where people share

part of their lives, but it seems like a lot of the women share part of their lives and that does not end up on the show. But your experience seems different than that just based on what you're sharing. Just to clarify, I want to clarify that. Right. Like I did know it wasn't going to be an edict. I was like, they can't use anything you didn't talk about. But then I knew like, oh, I didn't talk about it any of my preseason press.

And it's not like it's casually coming up like, all right. So unless you're like you're making it like not unless you're defining yourself like when you are explaining who you are, including that, you know, no one has the line of questioning to kind of get there. And so going into Survivor thinking like, oh, this might be my coming out. You know, like if I had lasted a lot longer, like maybe I would have opened up

and been more open to talking about it, but I think I was able to process like coming back. I knew I didn't have professionals talking about it, knowing like, okay, it didn't happen. Survivor's not gonna be my coming back, I knew I didn't have professionals talking about it, knowing like, OK, it didn't happen. Survivors not going to be my coming out. But that doesn't change how like much more free I feel in just like navigating the world now, knowing like, OK, I was able to like go and do that.

Like, I never thought I could. Like, I grew up thinking Survivor was way too hard. I've never camped. There was like plenty about Survivor that I didn't think that I could do. Right. Yeah, you're a big, big brother person. I feel like going back, you mentioned applying

and getting very far in casting for Big Brother 17, which very different than Survivor. Less, well, I was gonna say less bugs, but I'm not sure if the Big Brother house is less bugs than Survivor. Yeah, lots of ants. Do you know how I know that it's not like the most common that you're out is because you're not on the Survivor Wiki LGBTQ contestant? Exactly.

Not yet. But assuming the day this drops, that shall be updated. Yeah, I know. And that's another thing is like there are articles coming out and like, OK, LGBTQ plus contestants on Survivor 47. And just knowing like, OK, yeah, like John and Andy had their moment in the episode. And then Teenie's, you know, very proud.

And so it's just kind of like I knew like, well, you know, did you want to like post something at the time or anything like that? Like, did you feel feel that? I was like not because I never wanted it to be like I'm I'm coming out for attention. I think I have that relationship with social media that I'm very weary about posting stuff and then it makes it look like I'm doing that for attention. OK, but where would that have been you doing it for your attention?

Would that have been you doing that so you could be seen more authentically to people? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm just saying, like, you're like talking about people are thinking about whether you're doing it for attention. Who cares that they think just very little, just a little, just a little sprinkle for you. You know, it really what it was, was I was, just a little, uh, sprinkle for you. You know, it really what it was was I was like, I'll just do the pride of spoken. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. Now, it's just like, it just makes me, it makes me sad to think that that would be

like, yeah, it's like everybody. Yeah. Everybody has like, I don't know what there's, there's probably like some like research name for it, but all the things that you, immediately then like, and maybe maybe you don't regret it. I'm putting words in your mouth. But like, I always think about like, man, if I had been out as trans when I was in high school, like I could have gone to prom. And it's like, you're also not remembering all the things that like, you know, like the way it would have been hard. You're the thing that you're talking about before, Evy, of like the gifts and curses that you get, you know, you all have those things are like, Oh, if I hadn't been out at that time, I would have been able to do that. Where, you know, come out when we come out.

It also reminds me of this hilarious tick tock sound that something like people say I'm only being gay for attention, but where is my attention? Where is it? So anyway, if anyone out there wants to come out and wants attention or is afraid of being thought of that way, do it. Whoever the hell you want. Just stop. Please tag us in the post so that we know to give you.

And then we'll give you attention. Yeah. Yes. Hashtag the pride has spoken. Hashtag I could be a guest on the pride of the brightest. Smoking. I could be a guest on the pride of smoking on this national hashtag. I could be a guest on the pride of the brightest. Smoking. I could be a guest on the pride of smoking. On this national hashtag, I could be a guest on the pride of spoken day. But yeah, I don't know.

Yeah. In the moment, I don't know. I just never I was just kind of like, well, but I love that for them. Yeah. And it was like, OK, I've not tried to like also like step on someone else's experiences. Right. Yeah. And it was pretty it was before the season. I would say I have grown a lot in the past, like nine months, because like I could tell the story of my girlfriend. So yes, I was going to ask you, I was like, how do I work that in?

So when I went on Survivor, I was going to ask you, I was like, how do I work that in? So when I went on Survivor, I was single. And it's so funny because I had even talked about that. I think that was in like my little 30 second. I'm like, oh, you know, everybody's relationships and like, I'm single or whatever. Even in our season, there were maybe four of us who were single. And so it was just like a very relationship heavy season. And so I was like, you know, and I met someone at an event that was just like, thank you so much for speaking out for people that are single.

Like I really appreciate it. And I was like, oh, that's my girlfriend. Sorry, I'm no longer single. But yeah, I come back. I'm in this huge cloud of sadness and sorrow. Then I kind of come out of it. The jury comes back. I'm talking to them.

Like, you know, I take a trip to LA, me and Anika, we go visit John and like, I'm having some good times, but I'm still in this place of just like, oh, season doesn't start till September. I, you know, I'm having some good times, but I'm still in this place of just like a season doesn't start till September I you know, I would love some companionship. I'm not looking for anything serious, but let me just ease into the apps This is some quote-unquote companionship Let me just dip my toe like now I'm fine Just like having my preferences open like we'll just see right and so I took like a work

trip to Chicago and then I come back and I had a like on Hinge from a girl who is now my girlfriend and one of the very first conversations we had this was like August and so this is before the cast has been announced. And so, but but after I played, right? So one of my prompts was don't match me if you don't like reality TV. Not trying to talk about Survivor, but I'd love other reality TV as well. So we just not going to connect. You don't watch reality TV. And so she was like, what what reality TV do you watch? And I was like, oh, Survivor, Big Brother,

started naming everything, Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, everything under the Sun. And then she's like, oh my gosh, I love Survivor. I've been watching Survivor since I was eight, but I stopped at 41 because I don't like the new era. Ooh, daggers, daggers. Didn't know I was going to stray. And so Asia's Asia's government has not.

Yeah, that's so funny. He's actually not watching Asia's season, not a fan of the new era and not even Asia could save it. Oh, my. I wasn't ready. Oh, so. OK, she walked forward. Wow, small world and, you know, connection here. So I was like, well, that's crazy.

So at this point, I'm at a decision point. Like, I know I have a premiere party coming on September 18th. And I'm just like, OK, we keep conversing. Like, maybe I could tell her, maybe not. I don't know. We'll see how this goes. So this is you're planning for your second coming out. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's right.

And so we just like text nonstop, like novels on novels on novels. And it's just like we're hitting on all cylinders. We like have so much in common. Like, I'm just like, oh, I played French horn growing up. And she like sends a tattoo of a French horn she has on her. No, yeah. She literally has this huge French horn tattooed on her thigh. Are you kidding? No, both grew up. I was like, horn tattooed on her thigh. Are you kidding?

No, both grew up. I was like, oh, my gosh, I grew up playing basketball since I was six. And then she sent all these pictures of her growing up playing basketball. She played through college. So we just had all this stuff in common. It's so much in common. And the fact that we were just like we talked a very little bit about Survivor. Both love Saree.

We were just like, oh, yeah, we had like we liked people like the same people. I was like, OK, we're on the right side of history with Survivor. Great. And then. The exact same for Evie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we like all the same stuff. We hate all the same stuff. Oh, oh, no. We hate all the same Survivor seasons. That's fine. Sure. OK.

I love this feud that's that's starting. Really? This girlfriend and Evie. Like, it's great. I liked her when I met her and I know. So then I think it was so the night before our first date, which was, I mean, women move fast. It was like a week later. So we've done a lot of just like we've got really gotten in love.

We've fallen in love. We really got to know each other. And so that was like a week after we had matched. But the night before, she was nervous and so I was like, hey, let's just FaceTime. And so when we when we got on FaceTime, I was like, I sent her the trailer. And then she's like, oh my gosh. Like, I was like, yes, the season's coming out soon.

I was like, I was kind of nervous to tell you. We literally talked about it for maybe like an hour and then she didn't want to be spoiled or anything. And so we were just talking about like what the experience was like. And then we continued to be on FaceTime for seven more hours. This is the most sapphic thing ever. Ever. I know.

Beautiful. Oh, my God. And so then. Seven hours. I know. Then I like. Well, that's eight hours total. Yeah. That is an entire work day. Yeah. Yeah. So then I like napped, worked for the day. Then we went on our first date.

And so when I like met her in person, I was like, OK, like, this is everything that like I imagined it to be. And so then, yeah, then like I would not have been able. I mean, I would have made it through the season, but having her support through the season was just like, and to not have to explain. Like she remembers people that I don't even remember like in early seasons.

And it's just kind of like, we can nerd out about Survivor, which is just really cool. But even just to like, I think like it was there was a point where she was just kind of like she just still don't want to be spoiled. She was she really wanted to like believe that I won. And then I think like I was I was dealing with it leading up. She's like, OK, I have to know because I have to know how to support you. And so then she was just really supportive and just like helping any time.

She's like, you can. She always tells me you can never talk about survivor too much. And so any random time I'm like, OK, if I had just she's just like, well, talk me through it. And it's so incredible. And so, I mean, we have way more outside of survivor. But to have survivor in this time in my life is like so amazing. That's so sweet. And I just want to say any person out there that knows the Survivor players saying to them, you can't talk about this driver too much is the most supportive,

nicest thing you could ever say. And that's so beautiful and sweet. And I love that for you so much, especially while the season's happening. I mean, oh, my gosh. And you have to. It's so unbelievably consuming. And that's a lot. Oh, yeah, for the people.

Actually, yeah, to just process and just like and not have to be like, OK, so this is what a tribal council is. It's just like, you know, like, oh, thank God. I've always wanted to ask, what is that? He just brings up things that I haven't thought about. And it's like it's it's so nice. So like, it's so nice that like we met exactly when we needed to. Because I and I think about it, I'm like, if pre survivor Asia had met her,

I don't know if it would have been like, I don't know if I would have been able to just fall all in because I still would have been like, I don't know if I would have been able to just fall all in because I still would have been like probably like, I don't know if I'm doing this right and like how to date or if I, you know, making up any excuse under the sun not to just be like, let, let it happen. Um, and so, yeah, I like literally every day I'm like, I just couldn't find a more perfect person for me, which is just wild. And I feel like we met exactly when we did.

And I always wonder, I'm like, if I had not gotten out pre-jury, like, say I made it through the jury, I probably wouldn't even gotten on hinge. I would have just been like, let's see how the survivor season plays out. I'm not trying like I'm so focused on that. Then it's like we never would have met. But it's just kind of like we just it works so well. And so I'm just like, it's like that tick tock trend. Like the one that says, like sometimes like you forget, like,

this is what it was all for. And it's not like I went on Survivor to meet a mate. But not a bad, not a bad outcome. Right. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So it's like super cool that like, like my premiere party was the first time she met everybody. I'm like, yeah, it's like we like made it official like a couple of days before.

So I'm like, so I can introduce her as like my girlfriend. And like she met everybody and it was like, this is the band aid. So, wow. And you know what? It's like, I'm so happy for you, Asia. So happy for you. Yeah. And you are like, Asia, you are like glowing. You are radiant. You are just like, and that's the thing that like, feels so amazing and hopefully freeing for you.

But I feel like secondhand people pick up and feel that we're like people. And this is the by the way, wild time for you to meet your girlfriend when everyone's on social media, like dropping their like red A's, like dropping their orange hearts like, hey, we love you. Oh, my gosh. Like you're trending every day. Like it's wild time. But I feel like that's oh, my gosh. You're trending every day. Like it's wild time, but I feel like that's, oh my God, it's just so amazing.

Cause like everyone, you already know this, but like people you don't even know love you so much. Like there's so many people who would like take multiple bullets for you, right? And so it's like, I just think it's amazing to also see you like this free and all of it and I know that people will resonate and connect with that. So just like, so happy that we're even here talking about all of this right now.

And I feel like I sometimes I'm jealous of people who are more restrained and like not saying every bit of their personal life on a podcast. I'm like, wow, that's so cool that they can do that. Yeah, what is that like? But I really appreciate you coming on because I think that like, I think it's been so fun over the last, like I remember the night of the 46 finale,

there was like some podcasters were being like, so we're gonna jump on a Zoom at the end. And I was like, okay, all right. And then I, okay, this is my embarrassing moment, Asia, that John Lovett appeared before you. And I was like, Oh my God, I'm like Googling John Lovett and then didn't realize that everybody else was actually freaking out about you being on Survivor. And then, and then realized you were on Survivor and went back and was like, Oh my God, you're Asia's on Survivor. And people were just so proud of you. But that's

not just because you were like, like an RJP class of podcast, it's because of specifically you as a person are like this incredible, like kind, smart, like amazing person that like, we're excited that like you're the person we got, we got to root for, you know, on the show. And so I love that people, like even me in this conversation, like getting to learn more about, about you, I think this is, I think you're going to get a lot of attention and love after this, when this episode airs. So, yeah.

Thank you. And just to say, there are so many beautiful bisexual people in this world. Like, it's just I'm so glad that we have you on here and to talk to that specific experience, because I think you brought up so many things that like a lot of people don't know about about that experience. And, you know, that the all the stupid questions people might ask you and things like this. And I'm just like, just like, just, you know, I'd say my personal view is like a lot of most people are kind of gay.

And that means there's like a lot of bisexuals out there. Yeah, exactly. It just really is. And I just think a lot of people are are attracted to multiple genders of people. And I just really, really, really, really appreciate you speaking to that. Because it's such a beautiful community. Yeah, I mean, I guess friends are bisexuals. That's a little dumb.

And it's like, you know, but it is also true. And I'm making a joke of people saying that, but it is also true. It is also true. It is also true. I'm making a joke of people saying that, but it is also true. It is also true. So sorry. Asia, it's like, I know that you like, I feel like part of what I'm like is like, you're talking about like come out all the time, but also like you've known since whatever. So I was like, I feel like I don't know how to frame this question basically, but it's

like, I feel like, are you doing anything for pride month? And is this kind of like the first, like you're talking about like coming back and feeling really like, you know, sure of yourself and wanting to be you are. Right. Is that will this be your first Pride Month? Like, yeah, with that, like sort of mentality, I guess. Absolutely. Yeah. Because I like, you know, there are people that we mentioned it earlier that, you know, some people post during Pride Month, like, oh, this is my coming out.

And I've debated it for years, like, oh, should I make a post? Should I just say something? You know? Yeah. And and and I always was just hesitant. I'm like, OK, this is then this doesn't feel like the right moment. But then, like, you know, you know, falling in love changes things. And I was just like, you know what? Like, I literally thinking like wanting to be a guest

on the Pride is Spoken was without a doubt, like what I wanted to do. So that for one, it was like on my mind. And then yeah, me and my girlfriend and my brother are going to Pride night at the Dallas Wings game. Oh, that's so fun. So excited for that. So, yeah, so that's that's in June, obviously. So very excited about that because the Dallas Wings.

I mean, I'm so into the WNBA. I've been for years and so excited about the attention that women's sports are getting. So very excited about that. And yeah, and I'm wondering what that looks like too, because my girlfriend is also bisexual. And so we are, we're just like, what does pride look like in terms of like, does that look like going to the Pride Parade in Houston? Does that mean going to Pride events?

So we're kind of just like on the lookout for like what we want to go to. There are going to be plenty of events going on across Houston. And there's like there's a women owned bar that's like next to like the lesbian bar in Houston that plays all women's sports. So we've been meaning to go there and check it out. That's so fun. So, yeah, all of all of us like TBD, but for sure. Friday night, the NBA game.

Can't wait. But yeah, it's just been it just it's just I was trying to think of what, oh, Evie, you mentioned just like, what you were saying something a second ago that made me think of even people on my cast, just being so open and being such themselves, like Teeny, he's such an inspiration and just like the articles being written and just being unauthentically himself

even during the season when he's still figuring things out is just like, like if he can be that way at 24, I'm like at 33, like, what do I say? It's kind of like, it's so cool just to see how everyone is on their own journey and how different people can inspire different people for whatever reason. So it's really cool just to be surrounded by people like that

on my season and just like, you know, Andy and John and then like Keeshawn, it's really, it's just really cool that, you know, you can meet people that are so different from you, John and then like he Sean, it's really it's just really cool that, you know, you can meet people that are so different from you. But it's like all of us can like relate to each other in one way or another and inspire each other in one way or another, which is just really cool. And just to say, I feel like the ripples go just like all so around. And like something I remember very distinctly

when my season was coming out, there was a lot, you know, pretty much every intro podcast at some point people in the comments would be like, wait, what pronouns have you used? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And I really remember you Asia being a podcaster in one of those that I was obviously not supposed to be listening to podcasts about myself. You've not highly discouraged that behavior. Um, but, uh, and I really remember you being like, I have at the time I was using day and she and you're like, I've used day and she. And I was just like, wow, thanks, podcaster Asia.

So much for explaining to me about my pronouns. And now here we are on The Pride is Spoken and you've played survivor. And now you're on my podcast. And the world is crazy. That is insane. And it's I was actually just getting I was just tearing up even just like as you're talking about teeny and like his journey and just everything else.

And it's like I think it's just so beautiful that I mean, Evie, you have had your own jet like there's everyone's we're on our own journeys in so many different ways, but I think it's just beautiful that this survivor community and everything that revolves around the Pride has spoken and the people on it could be this great, just like place where we grow. Like, isn't it wild?

People are like, oh, that show's still on. And it's like, yeah, and tell me through my gender journey. Yeah. Like, what are you doing? Literally, literally. And queer people love Survivor and we. Yeah, yes. And we're so good at playing Survivor. And yeah, that's that's it's part of it.

I mean, I think there's something people and people and we talk about this every season on the practice book. And like, why is that? Why is this show so resonant with queer people? Why are queer people so drawn to play Survivor? And it's just like it's an ultimate social thing. And yeah, people are just like inherently social and hyper attuned to their social surroundings, hyper attuned to their social, hyper tracking social situations

sometimes. And like, and it's also like been this show that has been this amazing platform for so many people and for people to see themselves reflected in so many ways. And the first ever frickin winner was a gay man. And that just like will always be in the DNA of the show. And so it's just. Yeah. Yeah. One thing we go just, yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Asia. One thing we, yeah, you go ahead, Matt. Yeah, no, you're just such,

you're such a winner in so many ways. Like, I feel like this is just something that I feel like I've realized maybe a lot of us have being closer to, I mean, Evie, I guess your journey is different with connecting with folks after your season and the like, but like there's so many different ways to win, and you won in your own amazing ways, right?

So just want to shout that out. Yeah. Grace. I mean, yeah. That's what I do, try to constantly remind myself. Yeah. Like, I feel like I'm very rich in just love and like... Asia wealth.

Yeah. Asia wealth. as well as your wealth. I forgot about that. Yeah, Jason doesn't let me forget it on a podcast. Yeah. So yeah, I just I'm very like I'm like I'm so surrounded by love. I don't think I feel like everything happens like it should. And, you know, even thinking about like some people can think of Survivor is silly, like it's a game, right? Like you just you're just voting each other out.

You're on a random island, right? But to the people that play it, it means the world at the time. And so it's kind of like I feel very like rich and being able to like have a partner who gets the gravity of it and not like, oh, when I'm watching the, like the first individual immunity really triggered me because I wanted to make it there. And so I just like, just started bawling.

And she was just there and just there and just like, so there and present for me and like, new, like I know what you're feeling is so deep and it's just not like, oh, come on, at least you got to play. You know, some people instinctly wanna say that, at least you got to be on it. But it's just like, you really deal with like the aftermath

of playing that game no matter how many days you last it. So true. I'm so happy for you, Asia. I'm so happy for you that you have that and you deserve that so much. And everybody out there deserves a partner like that. And that's just I'm so, so happy for you. That's so beautiful. Thank you. So appreciate you coming on.

One thing we typically do and the thing I want to say earlier when you were like you were like, oh, and I was on the island. I wasn't sure that I, you know, was going to say the exact right thing. And my first thing that was like, as soon as somebody is being like, I don't know if I'm like going to say the right thing. I'm like, oh, there's such the person that will probably say the right thing because they're thinking about the fact that they're not sure. Right. The right'm like gonna say the right thing. I'm like, oh, there's such the person that will probably say the right thing because they're thinking about the fact that they're not sure the right thing is like basically the first thing that would like

pass the test for me. One of the things we do on the show is is give like sort of the word handed over to you to say anything you would want to other LGBTQ fans, people who might want to apply to the show in the future, anything you would want to like sort of say to those, um, to our lovely LGBTQ survivor fan listeners. Yeah. I mean, if you were like me a year ago, like in before just closeted, but listening to the Pride is Spoken relating to different guests, relating to Evy, Matt and Grace and just thinking like, Oh, that's just, that's amazing, right? Like just, oh, I, like, I want, I want the, the confidence and the, the, the, I don't know, just the, the freeness that they feel.

Then just know that as long as you have someone in your life that is that you know loves you like it and the question always is, is it unconditional? It's unconditional. Like, you know, the people in your life that have unconditional love for you. Like I have best friends that I came out to that are just like, like cried because they were questioning what they had done to make me feel like I couldn't tell them sooner and So it was just like of course I knew that they would be still so loving towards me and still so like accepting of me It's just like just know that the people in your life that love you unconditionally will be there After you have discovered that side of yourself, no matter what that means to you,

no matter what that looks like for you, just know that being on the other side of it, being open, even if it's just to yourself, even if you being out of the closet is you accepting that about yourself, that's a step in the right direction. And that already is one step further than you were the day before. And if you're thinking about applying to Survivor, do it.

I don't like as much as like as much as it eats me up, like, you know, still to the, you know, and I'm waiting for the day that I'm just like, oh, I didn't think about Survivor this week. It will come. It will. A thousand percent. Yeah. As much as that is like looming, I just I wouldn't be the Asia I am today without having gone gone through that experience and just soaking up everything that I could and and really doing

the self-reflection after the fact and just like what it meant to me. And just you like I embraced the therapists they provide. Like it was amazing. All the way through the finale. And so I would say like as much as like, especially right now with like dialogue around Survivor 50, I just think like if you wanna play, apply. I think it's as simple as that. The more you overthink it, the more you're going to delay the process when you really could just

put yourself out there and discover something about yourself. Whether that is your sexuality or whether that is just something about yourself to just make you a better you, then do it. You probably spend true love, probably. All right. This is so lovely. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much for listening. My name is Grace Leeder. You can find me on social media at high from grace or echo from grace. And I'm Evy Jagoda. You can find me on Instagram at Evy Jag and on TikTok with the account name Evy from Survivor. And I'm Matt Scott. You could find me at Matt Scott GW and all platforms. And this is The Pride Has Spoken. This is The Pride Has Spoken. This is The Pride Has Spoken. That was pretty good. Yeah. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck.

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