Right About Now with Ryan Alford - Mike Bayer - Transformational Life Coach, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Founder-CEO at CAST Centers and Podcast Host

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Welcome to another episode on The Radcast! In this episode on The Radcast, host Ryan Alford talks with Transformational Life Coach, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Founder-CEO at CAST Centers, and Podcast Host, Coach Mike Bayer.Mike discusses the characteristics that shaped who he is now and how he came to the decision to help others with their mental health and personal growth. He also talks about the obstacles he faced while constructing the CAST Centers and those he faces now that it is a well-established institution. Mike also shares how he manages his own mental health and what he does when he feels burned out, among other topics...Tyler also has a quick take on RAD or FAD trending topics;Online CoachingFlaming Hot Mtn DewInstagram ReelsTiktokKanyeLearn more about Mike Bayer: https://coachmikebayer.com/. Follow Coach Mike on Instagram and twitter: @coachmikebayer.If you enjoyed this episode of The Radcast, let us know by visiting our website www.theradcast.com or leave us a review on Apple Podcast. Be sure to keep up with all that’s radical from @ryanalford @radical_results @the.rad.cast If you enjoyed this episode and want to learn more, join Ryan’s newsletter https://ryanalford.com/newsletter/ to get Ferrari level advice daily for FREE.  Learn how to build a 7 figure business from your personal brand by signing up for a FREE introduction to personal branding https://ryanalford.com/personalbranding.  Learn more by visiting our website at www.ryanisright.comSubscribe to our YouTube channel  www.youtube.com/@RightAboutNowwithRyanAlford. 

It is really confusing in our childhood years, you know, dictate how we operate in our later years, whether it's in business, whether it's having deep beliefs that get in the way of us thriving in our life. And I couldn't get anyone on board. And then I had a moment, well, what if I became the vehicle?

Like you're saying, what if I became the currency? Somehow that's how Dr. Phil ended up in my life. I would never have thought that's how. I didn't want to be a speaker. I thought, you know, this is what we do often when we feel like we're not very good at something, is we look at other people and we compare ourselves. Sometimes I was looking at speakers and I was like, God, they're so cheesy. You a Kanye fan?

Yeah. I think you need some help. You might need to come to Coach Mike. No, I don't do that anymore. I know. You would make an exception for Kanye? Yeah. I think you need some help. You might need to come to Coach Mike. No, I don't do that anymore. I know. You wouldn't make an exception for Kanye? No, absolutely not. You're listening to the Radcast.

If it's radical, we cover it. Here's your host, Ryan Alford. Hey, guys. What's up? Welcome to the latest edition of the Radcast. I hope everyone out there is doing well. We appreciate all of our audience and be ready to be transformed, my friends. We've got Mike Bayer on the show today, two-time New York Times bestselling author, transformational coach, founder of Cast Centers. What's up, brother? Welcome to the show.

Hey, man. Feeling pretty rad today. Hey, you got to. You're on the Radcast. Yeah. So what's been going on, Mike? How are things going? Things are good. You know, it's always a matter of how we look at life day to day and how we practice different things that keep our head on straight and hopefully not let it roll down the hill, you know? No kidding. I've had a few celebrity of the, you know, celebrity life coaches and things like that had Tim's story on. I don't know if you, if your friends are no Tim very well, but anyway, the, I know you've got an extensive background. I want to get

into that. I want to talk about a couple of the books, but maybe let's just start for, you know, you're on TV a fair amount. I know people probably familiar with the name and your likeness and all that, but let's give everybody a little bit of your background and, you know, building to today man sure yeah and it's um i kind of avoided for and i still avoid the title of a uh you know celebrity life coach um life coach i've been trying to call myself everything under the sun and then when you try too hard you end up with these titles that don't even make sense anyways but we'll get into that but But I grew up in Orange County, California. I'm the youngest of three. I grew up in a family where basketball was a big sport. I'm six foot five today, and I'm the shortest male in the family. And so I was very driven towards basketball. I never did well in school. I got held back twice,

kindergarten, which I don't recall thinking I was dumb when I got held back. But in eighth grade, I got held back. And they said it was for sports. But I didn't do well in school. And I went to this high school called Mater Dei High School, which is a big powerhouse football and basketball school. And I had dreams that I was going to play, you know, college basketball. And I don't know, one day get married and I guess have kids and go to Disney world in Orlando.

And then maybe take that dream. Yeah. Take that trip to Hawaii World in Orlando. It's the American dream. Yeah, take that trip to Hawaii once a year. But the problem for me was I couldn't get turned on by girls. And I didn't know why. And I thought, well, I haven't hit puberty yet. So once I hit puberty, I was like, okay, cool. I'm growing hair on my arm I remember like the when we first grow our first hair on our chest or face we're like yeah man I'm becoming a man um but for me I for whatever reason just wasn't that into women? And I thought that eventually, as we get older, we suddenly get really attracted to the opposite

sex. But I found that I was like not into it. So I kept trying to force myself to hook up with women who were very attractive. And it just didn't feel good. And I didn't even know what being gay was or anything like that. I literally knew of the village people and the TV show, or at the time there was RuPaul.

And I was both of those two existences I wasn't that bonded with. And so I just thought I was weird. I thought it was very weird. And so I overcompensated with going with the homecoming queen to the high school dance and captain of the basketball team and vice president of the school. And then when I wasn't doing that, I was doing drugs. And I was doing a lot of drugs. And I love drugs. And I don't necessarily think because I hated myself for being gay is why I did drugs. I just

loved getting high. And I started doing that at a young age. And so I would go straight from, you know, playing in a basketball game to going to a rave. And eventually I went to play college basketball at Fordham in the Bronx. And I went back in the closet. Like I graduated from high school. I had a fake girlfriend who basically I would have, her name was Heather. And back then, MySpace started to develop. And Heather ended up meeting a guy on our football team. And suddenly, Heather, he's like, hey, I thought Mike was your boyfriend. And she's like, no, Mike's gay. And so I was outed then. I went to New York. I did not go out and play basketball because I felt like I wanted to be free and I did not do well in school. And I eventually found myself for several years doing crystal meth,

stay up for a week at a time, found myself about 90 pounds less than I am now, picking up my skin, believing I was possessed by the devil. And I kind of had these moments of desperation. And I thought, oh, I'm a lot of people do this. Like we all know people like this that are like, I'm getting sober. That's the last time I'm going to drink like that. And then you see them a month later and they're like, no, I'm just doing wine. I'm not doing the hard stuff. Or I just quit out weed or whatever it is. And so I didn't know how to stop. And eventually at 22 years old, I went to treatment for the final and last time, and I've been sober over 19 years. And I started working in this profession of mental health. I've owned a treatment center for over 15 years. And it went from me working in crises with addicts and alcoholics to eventually coaching and helping artists, entertainers.

And it's just, it keeps unfolding. And I know it's a really long, short version, but that's kind of my story. It is fun. And I mean, a lot to unpack there. Do you think, you know, I have friends that are gay and like, I'm not, but I, I can relate to just discomfort in my life and uncomfortability. And I can only imagine the times a thousand,

whatever that might be. I mean, was it, it sounds like you had a different experience than some people I've heard. Like, like you thought the switch was just going to come on. It didn't sound like you were necessarily running from something you were aware of as much as you just thought, OK, I'm going to eventually be like everybody else. Yeah, like I thought this is like part of the progression of like growing up. That's interesting. I've never heard it. I mean, it makes 100 percent sense because it's it seems like everyone, whether I assume it's their journey and their truth it's like they just i don't know they say they well i was like why the hell am i gay yeah like like if i don't want to be can't i just like and the girls were so

attractive that i got together with but it would be like you making out with an attractive dude you probably would hate it yeah i i wouldn't enjoy it i'm attracted to women but you know what i'm smart enough and open-minded enough to know like the reverse of that and knowing that how you would you know what i mean that you must have felt you know how awkward or like okay like i'm not like again i'm a very open-minded person but i'm like wow that would be so terrible for wow i now i do i can relate to what you with her you know it's like but unfortunately we've grown up in a world that's just starting to wrap their head around you know being open-minded to how other people are in some ways we're getting better in

some ways we're getting worse right yeah and you know i'm i'm different in the way too where like i could be friends with someone who's anti-gay marriage yeah like i i just think like opinions are like noses we all have them right and it's just being gay is like one description of me in terms of 10,000 descriptions that we all have. It's just, that was a very painful, awful part of my life. And I share that just because, um, I, it's just a part of my story, you know, it's, it's, um, but I'm friends with all sorts, as I was telling you before the podcast, all sorts of different types of people. But it is really confusing. In our childhood years, dictate how we operate in our later years, whether it's in business, whether it's having deep beliefs that get in the way of us thriving in our life unless we really go back and look at

kind of what happened and connect some dots we end up just uh creating that same fabric but with different characters as we get older yeah do you think that you're obviously starting the cast centers and the treatment centers and i mean was that it had to have been fueled by your own experiences right i mean you yeah so i i for sure like i i got sober i was a counselor then i did interventions for many years and then i wanted to create a place where in in the psychiatric or psychological world there's something called the, I think it's the DSM-5 now, and everything is a diagnosis. Well, a big reason why there's diagnoses is two part. One is so that people can have a roadmap potentially. So if you're labeled as, let's say, chemically dependent,

that they can look at the different criteria and go, you are a drug addict or you're an alcoholic. And the same thing applies for so many different types of issues, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, and so forth. The other is so that insurance, uh, you fill out on the form and you say,

this is their diagnosis. So that insurance will pay because if there's no diagnoses, insurance won't pay for it. And so what I've kind of realized was we were getting dictated by the insurance world. They were dictating like length of stay and how people could get help. So I wanted to create a program that helped people with everything from depression, anxiety, addiction, or they could all be on their own islands. And so that's kind of what my vision was when I got sober.

Because the place I went, you just basically were like, yes, I'm a drug addict and my life has become unmanageable. But like all the other underlying issues were kind of just, we're going to deal with that later. And years later, I just had to go to years of therapy. So you're trying to treat the whole problem and not just the the under or the top line. Not no one's addressing the underlying. It's just the top line. Yeah. And people suffer a lot and families spend a lot of money trying to figure out like how to help someone.

And it's it's tough. figure out like how to help someone. And it's, it's tough. Is it, you know, and I don't want to, I want to talk more about the positive stuff that you're doing now, but I think it's important because I've always been curious, like for addiction like that, like someone's addicted, what is alcohol or crystal meth or whatever it is? Like, is it just an all or nothing thing? Like, is that why you like, you truly have to be, I mean, I don't know if you, do you even drink? I haven't, no. Is that a trigger? Like, is that the problem?

Is like, there's just no, it's all or nothing? No, I think I also don't like cauliflower and I haven't had cauliflower in a long time. cauliflower um and i haven't had cauliflower in a long time now cauliflower is not going to lead me to potentially a situation that is very dangerous you might take you might eat broccoli with it yeah green beans are coming next right people are like you haven't had that flash fried cauliflower i'm like that thing looks like a funky ass root and you know that i'm not i don't want to eat it doesn't taste good it has no flavor yeah i don't care all you cauliflower lovers out there you know but anyways the point for me like recovery is a loose garment and everyone has to find their fit and i'm very much a believer in people figuring out authentically for themselves what makes sense some people they went through a tough period other

people it's like they got that personality where it's all or nothing. For me, it's just not worth it. Like having a glass of Merlot, like the reality is to me, even though I'm an addict and alcoholic, I never really loved the taste of alcohol. Like I am always amazed that people are like, oh, it tastes so good when they swirl around their wine. I'm like's a little bitter they kind of like i guess it looks fabulous but it's just some fabulous way to say you're getting effed up kind of like or buzzed but i know people who do really love it i love wine so yes i'm one of those i'm a wine kind of like not connoisseur but uh you know i have probably 700 bottles in my house well and i for you, there's a whole ritual to the bottle. Right.

Yes. Yeah. It's like you probably have certain glasses. You're not drinking out of the red cups with that one bottle. Right. Unless I'm at a tailgate. But I'm not I'm not a snob. But when I'm at home, I'm drinking out of my favorite glass.

Yes. Right. You have your favorite glass and you probably have a spot where you want to enjoy it and an activity, right? Like it's a thing. It's a ritual. And I think that for a lot of people, it can be a phase. But the challenge is a lot of people think it's a phase and then they completely lose it. And so I think it's really understanding for oneself what is that line. And they say

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And a lot of people who should not be drinking at all keep doing it over and over again. The typical alcoholic, like I'll use these labels, doesn't get sober for about 25 years. like I'll use these labels, doesn't get sober for about 25 years. So by the time they start drinking till about 25, maybe 30 years later, they don't really reach that point where they have to do much because maybe of health issues, you know, consequences. Now, some end up in trouble a lot sooner. But when you do some of these other drugs, like I'm grateful I did crystal did crystal meth because if i drank it would have taken a long time to get sober with meth you're such a disaster

that i'm like oh god it got me sober at 22 you know yeah went downhill down no quick you uh snowball building it's like uh a uh a anvil dropping off the mountain. Exactly. I love it. Well, let's talk about, you know, what what you've been doing. I know I'm not the celebrity whore or anything, but I do think it's interesting that it's just led you there. I mean, what you did all of this, it had nothing to do with who or why you did it for. It was more the greater good. You're you know, you're influenced. You've gone through it.

You want to help others. You want to treat the whole problem, not part of the problem. But what what got you into call it the celebrity circuit entertainment circuit? Yeah, well, I you know, the first few entertain living in L.A. are just bound to work with different entertainers. And I think the first kind of big family I worked with was the Osbournes. This is like over 10 years ago, I did Kelly Osbournes intervention. I went on her podcast. That's why I can talk so freely. Whereas a lot of people I can't. And, you know, I worked with that family and that was kind

of my first taste. And I was young. And then what would happen is I started working with different people who are in crises, like bad crises. They wouldn't go on stage on a tour. And the consequence for them personally was huge financially if they did not deliver and perform. And so I would go out and people through word of mouth would start saying, oh, you got to call Mike Baer. And then over time, it went from like working with crises to working with bands that were breaking up or kind of reinventing. And then after that, it kind of went towards people who had public breakups. And then it started getting into record labels calling me to help figure out how to help someone live in their art, like what

mattered, how would their brand be put out in the world that was authentic? How do they express themselves? How do they express themselves how do they express themselves creatively on a music tour and it just is like evolved i'm one of those guys that like i love new uh uh passions in self-help after i feel like i've kind of reached my own measure of mastery in a certain arena. So I haven't, you know, I don't personally work. I wouldn't be the guy today that's, you're going to get a, if I got a call for someone who needs to get sober in the middle of music tour, I don't want to, I'm not flying out anymore.

I did that for years. I'm much more geared now these days. You know, I, so I had no intention of ever doing television. And I met Dr. Phil three years ago, and he asked me at a lunch if I wanted to go on an episode. And I never realized that I would have the ability to help more people by going on a big platform. I always was kind of like, well why would someone want to go on television?

Even though I worked with these people, like I understood it for music, I understood it for actors, but I kind of just didn't want to be seen. And I didn't want to speak at events, I didn't want to be seen. And I didn't want to speak at events. I didn't want attention. And then he asked me to go on his show. And then fast forward, I've been on maybe 40 or 50 episodes. He's like, you need to write a book. And then suddenly he flew with me to Dallas and he's like, this is your agent and you need to deliver it what you do, the bet, even better circumstances come into the mix when you're not trying to control it or force it. And that's just been

my experience. It's like, you know, help someone as much as I can out of that just comes other opportunity. Hey, you know, you want to fix yourself you fix others uh firmly believe that you know yeah well i mean it's true i mean you you gotta fix yourself to some degree first but uh but but uh yeah it's the golden rule treat others you'd have them treat you but uh you know i say i hear you say that you know like it's funny i i i preach attention is currency you know like like with brands and i preach attention is currency, you know, like with brands. And I preach attention is currency like that. I have like a T-shirt that's literally like, you know, not because I want attention, but

with attention becomes power because you have awareness and more people. And if you're wanting to do good and you do good in life and you're leading a life like you're living and helping others, it can be amplified by that attention. And it sounds like you started to embrace that. Yeah. You know, and how this all came about is I started going to Iraq because I was going to open up mental health clinics with the government over there in Kurdistan. And I went out there alone the last time and I thought that I would get all these entertainers and celebrities to rally behind me to do a really great cause and open up the first ever mental health therapy

center in a refugee camp in Dahuk. And I came back and I couldn't get anyone on board. The publicists were not into it because americans don't care about kurdistan for you know like if it's a fireman sure police or some other things in the u.s but like they don't realize like and what goes on out there is like horrifying like horrifying what i saw out there you know women whose husbands were lined up and just massacred in front of them and daughters sent off to Syria, sex slave sons forced to join ISIS. And it's real. And there's millions of them.

And it's the craziest thing. And there's no therapy. And in that culture, you don't talk about it. So like, this is my calling. I'm done working with these entertainers. I'm going to go do this in Kurdistan. Then I went out there. entertainers. I'm going to go do this in Kurdistan. Then I went out there. I was funding it myself and starting to launch it. And I couldn't get anyone on board. And then I had a moment in this

about three and a half years ago, I was like, well, what if I became the vehicle? Like you're saying, what if I became the currency? And somehow that's how Dr. Phil ended up in my life. I would never have thought that's how, but he has the number one daytime television show and he's taking me under his wing. And my reach is so much bigger where I'm hoping that I'm able to do some really cool projects. And it doesn't have to be in Kurdistan, but it kind of forced me to realize like, no, Mike, if you want to do this stuff that you're really passionate about, you have to have a little bit of currency, like you say. Yep. And, you know, and every growth is always starts with discomfort, you know. Yeah. And you're right. And you're you didn't want the attention.

You'd want all of that. You wanted to do good. You want to do all that. But then you said, OK, well well attention brings opportunity brings more awareness what growth has uh come out discomfort for you me personally i mean i've started two businesses the first one was fairly a colossal failure you know i uh and you know like both were in both are it's not comfortable being an entrepreneur you know and but the second one's been a bigger hit you know, like both were in both are, it's not comfortable being an entrepreneur, you know, and, but the second one's been a bigger hit, you know, the first one didn't even hit the charts. It, uh, fizzled fast. And then, uh, here I, you know, my agency radical, uh, we're, we're one of the fastest growing digital agencies in the Southeast. So we're three years old so it's been uh but it was it's been uncomfortable pushing you know to

grow and to make decisions and do everything that it takes to be an entrepreneur so what's the biggest realization you've had about yourself in this um probably that i had what it takes to do it. You have a lot of, I mean, I'm a confident guy, but you have self-doubt when you start something like this. And I had grand ambitions, and we're just getting started. We've got a lot of green pasture ahead. But after the first kind of failure, you're like, can I really do this? Do I have what it takes to lead people to, you know, I know how to sell, you know, like I know

how to do marketing. I've done it for 20 years for some of the largest brands in the world, but starting your own company and everything that it takes to do that logistically, you know, it's, it's taken time and. It's tough. You know, I, I still struggle with, You know, it's taking time. It's tough. You know, I still struggle with, you know, I have a psychologist working for me and a bunch of people. And like even yesterday, you know, like I start beating myself up that like I'm not being a good enough boss. You know, I'm not or I'm avoiding conversations that are tough or I'm projecting my own stuff on other people and like it's uncomfortable because you can feel really alone in it you know you can

talk to the people who work with you but that's really doesn't not appropriate and um and that's why I've uh you know I I have a call with someone on Sundays who's a friend of mine where we just check in every Sunday about life and what's going on in our brains. Because sometimes we think as a leader, we have to figure it out or have all the answers. And we don't know what we're doing. It's all good too, though. That's right. No, I can relate.

People look to me. We have about 20 people, about 10 to 12 here in this office, and then some spread around the country, around the world even. We're pretty fairly international as far as our help and some of our clients. I mean, you're the boss, so you have all the answers, right? Well, yeah, I mean, I'm opinionated, but, you know, I don't have all the answers. Yeah, it's it's it's nonstop. You know, I found even with public speaking, I didn't want to be a speaker. I thought I thought, you know, this is what we do often when we feel like we're not very good at something is we look at other people and we compare ourselves. And it's not that we compare ourselves necessarily and go, God, they're so good. Sometimes I was looking at speakers and I was like, God, they're so cheesy. You know, like I don't, I don't want what they have. I just don't want what I have.

You know what I mean? And it's like, but that's a way of trying to diminish ourselves or not feel like we're good enough. And then suddenly you start speaking enough and then you're like, well, I actually kind of do like it because we were afraid when we think we're not good at something, we shut down. And the reality is like sometimes like you're saying, the discomfort is when we grow. And that that's really that resonates with me because I it's a good reminder of. Well, I tell people like if it's not hurting a little bit, you're not going anywhere. Great. Like, you know, it's kind of like a trip.

But like if I was to get in the car, you're in L.A., I'm in Greenville, South Carolina. If I was going to come there and I didn't have a plane or something like you would have to wear a mask at the border they'd stop me and put a mask on uh but uh you know i'd have to drive all the way there a long way to go but you know what do you the value that you gain from the you know all of that because i know how much you would teach me we get together in your beautiful studio and you know, all of that, because I know how much you would teach me. We'd get together in your beautiful studio and, you know, have a wonderful experience. But it'd take me, you know, three days to get there in a car, you know. It takes time. And same thing with building brand and building companies. Like, everybody wants everything yesterday, you know. We live in such an immediate gratification world. yeah and i think the the scariest thing for

an entrepreneur is if they don't reflect and look at themselves um and and you know because i do think some people just aren't cut to go lead like they're not because they don't have self-awareness but at the same time i I think that you're right. Like part of the growth and part of the, the, the pain of it all, even if it's a little bit as, is expected. Let's talk about your books. I mean, how's that been? I mean, it, you know, right. I mean, writing, I mean, that's different talking and all that. Like, was that, how was that journey for you? Painful. It's hard to write. Very difficult, especially when you have learning disabilities and dyslexia and, and you've also never had

a vision for it, you know, like, and the thing is I got a really big advance um for my first book which is pretty rare you know i've that's rare these days yeah it's already in um 18 languages and made new york times a bunch of times my first book and and it's it's uh it's also because of the platform. I mean, it's very hard. What I think a lot of people don't realize when they write a book is I want to say something like it's like over 95% of books never sell more than a few thousand in its lifetime. And sometimes people don't realize how challenging it is to have, there's so many moving parts and pieces. It's not just about writing an exceptional book. It's also about your distribution.

It's also about like who's on your team. How are you going to presale it? Social media. There's so many factors. But the process of writing the book, you know, the first book, I'm glad I have a body of work where i can help someone for 17 dollars and it's the same thing i was doing with people that were paying me tens of thousands of dollars the the if someone's driven to work on themselves it is the work of my past, you know, 18 years that I was able to put into my first book, which was called Best Self. And in that book, it's really geared around

helping someone realize who they authentically are. And a lot of my stuff has creative exercises. So in that book, you're really about finding out who your best self is. Like my best self's a wizard. There's like a wizard behind me, wizard on my arm. You know, like that's who I bring into the mix when I really want to be authentic. And we also help people figure out their anti-self and what area needs to be worked on today. And it was really, I don't, I should say I'm beyond grateful to write books. I don't, I should say I'm beyond grateful to write books. I have written two books now and the other is called One Decision.

That's the most recent book. It's all about how one decision can change your life and helping you sort today. What is that one decision and what you need to do? You know, I, I, but I, I'm, um you know i i but i i'm i'm also like writing the script um with the showrunners of the show silicon valley they did king of the hill uh that's a comedy uh that's kind of in the mental health space i'm i'm trying to create i'm always i love creating i think that the book process it's a it's a grueling process. Have you written a book?

I'm writing one. Oh, you are? Where are you at in it? Chapter two. Do you have a team helping you? Nope. I'm going to take one on. I'm trying to write enough to then get help with it, maybe. I know if that's the right approach but i don't know well i find it's really helpful to kind of start off my process

um and especially if it's your first book is start off with the chapters and kind of like the the first like you said, the first chapter, the publishers are wanting a lot of the work to be done. And it's really, you know, there's like five big publishers. I mean, what is your motivation for writing a book? It's marketing. I mean, I've been marketing and advertising for 20 years, and I've seen, you know, everybody's a YouTube expert now, but it's, you know, my experience with the brands that I've worked with and then my own theories on marketing, branding and all of that. So I've got a couple of working titles, one's a forever date and another one's, uh, uh, lifetime value, but it's, uh, it's the goal of the book is to help people understand

how to market better. Yes. Um, in a world where, uh, it we're now being dominated by performance marketing, people that are trying to make a buck today and the value of building brand and how to do that properly so a few other anecdotes but uh and it's in the the other working titles like you've probably heard of lifetime value like for if you've ever heard that's a common term for in marketing for like you want a customer to stay with you for a long time because that's and people they calculate that life the lifetime value of a customer like an easy way to do is like if you're a cell phone company and you pay and ryan alford's been with verizon for 18 years and the lifetime value that i am they can add that up right and they can estimate what a lifetime is and the working title is

lifetime i've got value uh with akethrough, Lifetime Loss, which is the other side of that coin of not taking care of your customer, but more the depth of that because they tell 10 other people. Right. And the exponential impact of not taking care of customers combined with how to build that how so really it's for for business owners people in marketing sales entrepreneurs yep that's cool yeah so uh probably a year away i'm being realistic i might get a wild hair i'm writing i i have my little

note app on my phone so i start typing typing in it, you know, like thoughts. I think I have the chapters all done, like the names of what the sections are and all that. But we'll see. So first time I've talked about it on the podcast. Hey, it took Mike Baer to bring it out on the podcast. I don't think I've even talked about it. Well, I think a lot of people have thought about it or are just starting. Well, I think a lot of people have thought about it or are just starting. And, you know, I think it's it's a great it's it's great to just have expectations. You know, I find it's the most helpful to think about how am I helping someone the most with what I'm delivering and have little to no expectation of how it sells.

Yes. You know, that that feels better. And I'm doing it for me. Like, I think there's a lot of value in it. I, you know, not that age has it, you know, everybody's writing a book, like 24-year-olds trying to teach me how to be, you know, the best version of me. And maybe he can be. We can all learn something from someone. But I don't know.

I felt like I needed more credibility I've done it for 20 years and I feel like I needed more experience and now I feel more credible to you know document like what should happen and I'm doing it for me more than if if it sells 20 copies I don't care you know like cool we'll say that now yeah well we'll see how much I have to put it right you're like yeah right so how you talked about it a little bit um you know with the calls you do but i was always curious i'm always curious with someone like yourself who's you're a transformational coach you're you've got these centers you're doing for others you took care of yourself, you know, that, that anvil back in 22 that dropped on your head or whatever, or dropped quickly. But now how does someone like you take care of your own mental

health? Yeah, that's, I think that's a good, uh, cause the desperation often, uh, creates, you know, a fury of, Oh, I need to do this and this you know i do jujitsu um four to five times a week i'm entering actually my first jujitsu tournament next weekend nice um and i start at 40 years old and i'm 41 now and um and i love martial arts and like um and i just it's a way I found, I find that like really intense exercise where I'm in the moment helps me a lot with my mental health. Um, like I mentioned, I also have a weekly call with a peer of mine, um, where we talk about life and talk about what's going on. If I'm really struggling, struggling, I'll call and get a therapist for

like a few weeks. You know, if I'm really in a dark spot, which that hasn't happened in a while. And I'm always trying to learn, you know, and I'm always trying to evolve. You know, a woman told me her name's Diane Poole. When I was just starting off working in this industry, woman told me her name's Diane Poole when I was just starting off working in this industry she goes Michael it's grow or go and that kind of is life is always growing and you either have to evolve and get with it or you don't and so I try the best I can know, I try to meditate when I can. I try to get a good night's sleep. I try to eat healthy. And I ask for help. You know, I think asking for help from others helps a lot with our own mental health. And I also am committed to not being a victim. Like, the last thing I want to do is to feel sorry for myself or think for one second

that i um don't have something good enough and you look at in this is part of the thing i've traveled all over the world it really helps your mental health when you realize how lousy it is for some people on this planet and when you start to go to refugee camps and you start to see what's really going on and how much freedom we have in this country, how much opportunity we have in this country, how much greatness we have in this country, that seems to help pull myself out a little bit when I'm, you know, feeling sorry for myself. Makes a lot of sense. Hey, and I love the grow or go. It's kind of like use it or lose it. Yeah, exactly.

Same type of mindset. What are some of the, you know, techniques like all your videos are out there. We're going to we're going to tag all that people be able to, you know, they can go check you out. They've probably heard of you, probably seen you. But are there a. We're going to, we're going to tag all of that. People will be able to, you know, they can go check you out. They've probably heard of you. He's probably seen you, but are there a couple of you talked about it, like common techniques that you use, um, you know, with people and trying to get them in the right mindset. I know you've got a lot of different acronyms and all those kinds of things, but, uh, is there any of your favorites? Well, I do think I find it's really helpful to help someone figure out who their best self is. I say that because our parents give us names and then kind of the world tells us who we are on this planet.

And we don't take a lot of time to to really take a step back and be like, all right, well, let's just say I didn't have this name, Ryan. And I'm just feeling this vibe. Like I got this vibe and this energy of who I am authentically. And I like to help people create it. Sometimes they draw it, they sketch it, they have something. But that's being able to bring that part of themselves into every business meeting, bring that into when they're performing,

I find is a really helpful tool. I also like to help people figure out their anti-self, that part that gets in the way, the part that we can't stand about ourselves. Like mine's a male witch named Angelos. And because I think male witches don't have a lot of friends. I've never seen him in movies with friends. The male witch is always the loser. So you add a little bit of humor to that part of you that normally you hate. And I find that when you can do that, it alleviates some of that stress and pain. And so I like to create with people. I like people to kind of know for themselves that they're capable if they bring this part of themselves into the meeting

and i find that it can help people conceptualize you know if someone is gonna have a difficult conversation and they're like i'm really worried about what they're i would say well what is what would your best self do and nine times out of ten they're like well my best self would say a b c and d and i'm like there's your answer so i mean i it seems overly simple but it works um and i think um it's important to get centered um and and i think it's like when i say centered it's important to like regulate the body and get your nervous system to to chill and to take time just to be in the moment. And it's again, it's simple and breathing. But we have to be reminded to do the most simple thing that literally allows us to just get back into the moment. And so a lot of what I try to do is help someone get in the moment and figure out like how to show up authentically as themselves.

I mean, the way I write, I teach people how to do that. That's authentic for them. But it's, you know, I'm an exercise guy like i've had clients i've worked with for a few years where every day i'm creating a new exercise for them and so uh it really just depends on what is going on for that person you know i love it is uh is the are you did you did you say that you're retiring from working with celebrities and entertainers or is it just i mean is it yeah i'm just not that interested um i think like it's it's i either think that i'm uh i don't feel good working with celebrities and also growing my public brand.

Like, I don't know, there feels like there's a conflict for me a little bit. Um, what I mean by that is like, when you're growing your own brand, I make, when I work with someone, I sacrifice almost everything in my own life. And that's why I've been successful is I'm not thinking about myself in it at all. Um, I also don't want to be in another dressing room. Like I don't want to be around another space where,

uh, people are awkward around other humans because they have this perceived power now that does happen still in television or whatever um but i just like i don't i'm not attracted to working with famous people because I did that for so long. And I, I don't see, uh, what value there is in my life.

Hey, something to be said for that. What is the Mike Bayer brand then? I, you know, we're a marketing podcast. Yeah. So they call me coach Mike,

coach Mike. I mean, coach Mike. I, but what, but what's the, mike bayer brand then i you know we're coach mike yeah so they call me coach mike coach mike i mean coach mike i yeah but what but what's the underneath the name you know what's what's the brand what do you want people to know like what's the if there's like i don't know you you can have a couple sentences i won't leave you i won't make you know you tell you know, but like what's mine. Yeah. I think, um, my brand is, um, straightforward, um, creative, fun, uh, serious when I need to be. And, uh, authentically myself, like not copying. If someone goes to my social media, half the time you wouldn't even know that I'm like a coach.

You know, like I just posted a photo of me in a freaking Speedo in Rio. Like, I don't care. And I used to get a lot of people being like, that's not professional. People can't take you seriously. And I'm like, I'm not looking for people to take me a certain type of way, like kind of put yourself out there. And I want to give other people permission to just like, you can have a kick ass rock in life by not conforming to what people think. Amen. If I had a, uh, we have a soundboard on our news episodes and I think I need to bring it

back for when guests are on. Cause I'd have, I have this amen clapping sound like that would have won. That would have won at least a few dings. I love it. I look, I got memes on my, uh, I don't take anything too serious, you know, like I'm like, whatever, you know? Yeah. Like, I think like people, um, uh, I, I, I think there's like the online personality, right? And then there's who we are when we're on stage or who we are when we're, um, when I'm on TV now on Dr. The difference is, it's just a matter of how you're helping someone and who you're helping.

You know, like I helped someone on Dr. Phil on Tuesday, um, who I don't think has smiled in years. And I was just smiling, you know, my whole mouth was smiling cause I was looking forward to making her eventually smile and maybe doing a followup show where I got this woman where you feel a different vibe on her. And so it gets exciting for me to

figure out like, how am I going to transform this woman's life? How am I going to over deliver? And I get confused though. I mean, you're a marketing guy and this is your expertise. I find that when I've had publicists that I've worked with, they're like, Mike, give me five tips to help someone with their depression. And I'm like, five tips? First of all, are people really following these tips? Second of all, there's a huge disconnect when people are really depressed they're not going where can i find those five tips that person's like do i want to kill myself do i like like it's not even the disconnect is so big between media and the reality of struggle and and i think that like i i sometimes struggle because i'm like god media and culture really has this belief like no one cares um about these celebrities talking about mental health

like what i mean by that is it doesn't translate because someone who's struggling, really struggling. I mean, maybe it happens every now and then. No one has ever come to my center because they saw some promo on television or because of Oprah's special on mental health with prince harry that people today that are struggling and that are suffering um are like they're so disconnected from entertainment and right now there's this huge trend to talk about mental health and like And right now there's this huge trend to talk about mental health and like entertainment. And I just, I don't know. I'm on a tangent right now.

I know. No, I get where you're going though. It's a disconnect and I don't know how to connect it. Yeah, like media and what drives clicks and what drives perceived attention isn't always what truly is helping those in need. I think that's what... For sure. You know, it's like, and I can see the internal struggle that that would bring with, you know, being on TV, doing things to raise your attention, but wanting to do it real authentically and as you, but the struggle of pulling you to, well, can you talk about this? Can you do that? Because

that's all the rage right now, right? Yeah, it's all the rage. And what I realized though, for myself is like, not to do it feels better to me and to do it in my own way. Because like I preach, when you do it your own way, eventually someone sees you, like you reached out to me. I don't know if you would have reached out to me if I was just delivering tips and tricks and you know what I mean? So like it attracts the people you actually wanna work with and get to know

and develop a relationship with. And it can become tricky because sometimes we look at others and go, well, if i do it that way then i'm gonna get it but i don't think that works you know yep yeah yeah copying yeah you're you're only the true you are the true original copying someone else doesn't uh doesn't make it uh i don't know work yeah it takes people a long time to do that. But Mike, I know we've gone a little bit longer than planned, but this has been really interesting to me. I hope that was okay. And

I really appreciate all the insights. You got like two minutes for me. We do a little section called rad or fad. I give you one keyword and you tell me rad or fad. And what does fad mean? or fad and what does fad mean fad it's kind of like good or bad but kind of like or rad or maybe uh maybe truly a fad you know like okay do you just say rad or fad that's it yeah you could add context we've we've uh everyone seems to like to do it so we allow we're now this is really exciting this is very exciting first First, online coaching. Rad or fad? Fad. Oh, God.

What kind of online coaching? Everybody's an online coach, Mike. Oh. Oh. Oh. God, online. I really stumped you on the first one. The only reason you stumped me is i think there's value yeah but i think um there's a lot of posers don't let don't okay it's rad except

it's a fad if they try to upsell you all right no upsells no upsells i'll think about that i'm about to put out some marketing training so uh i'll keep that in mind no upsells all right this was on our new we recorded our we do a friday very topical new marketing and advertising news we do them every friday and this was this one hit kid on it came on you know you've heard of flaming hot like chips and everything that's like she does and all that she does flaming hot mountain dew rad or fad that's a fad yeah drinking heat like eating it's like oh my god i was like who comes up with this stuff instagram reels rad or fad oh lord sad oh Lord. Sad. Oh, yes. What about TikTok? It's a little rad.

Okay. All right. Now we're getting there. Only because that's like worked for me. But if it didn't, it would be sad. Kanye changed his name back to Ye. That's another one? Yeah. Rad or fad oh uh you can't you can't yeah he's changed his name back and forth i don't know yeah okay that's a fad i think you need some help he might use to come come to coach mike no i don't do that anymore i know you would make an exception for Kanye? No, absolutely not.

All right. No, I would rather help the guy next door. Cool. Honestly, like I was on the phone last night for two hours with people and I'm helping them for free and it's so exciting. Now, unless, no, I don't care. Yeah. Well, you're going to, I'm coming to LA.

I'm on the Wolf of Wall Street podcast next month. Jordan Belfort going on as a guest. Yeah, let me know when you're out here yeah i'd love to grab lunch um and then i'm spencer pratt and heidi montag from the hills i don't know if you remember that seeing them we do all their marketing website stuff so oh cool yes i'd love to catch up with you when i'm out there yeah let's do it let's do it i really appreciate you coming on coach mike mike bear tell everybody where they can find you mike um where it's just coach mike bear like aspirin on all social medias coachmikebear.com and then uh yeah that's it they can buy my books are on amazon it's my voice for the audio book. But I suggest getting the hard cover and doing the exercises. Love it.

Love it. Well, he just told you where to find you. Amazon for the books. Coach Mike Baer. Just Google Mike Baer. You're going to find this guy. I know you're there. You got to be in the search.

If you're not at the top of the list, we'll get you there. We'll talk more about that. Okay. We really appreciate coach mike coming on i'm ryan offered you know where to find me at ryan offered on all the platforms we're at the radcast.com search for mike barry you'll find all the highlight clips from this episode and many more and we'll see you next time on the radcast