Right About Now with Ryan Alford - The Secret To Lachlan Patterson’s Hilarious Success: It’s All About Delivery

Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to The Radcast, a top 25 worldwide business podcast. If it's radical, we cover it. Here's your host, Ryan Alford. Hey, guys. What's up? This is Ryan Alford, your host. It's The Radcast. And man, we say if it's radical, we cover it. And I'm just glad I get to name my number these days. I'm going on the gram, scrolling through.

Starting point is 00:00:32 I don't ever know what's going to hit my feed. I got babies over here. I got this over there. People trying to ask me for money over here. And then this funny as hell comedian hits my radar. Damn, Lachlan Patterson. What's up, Lachlan? Hey, buddy. Just hanging out, man. Thanks for having me on your show. Hey, man.

Starting point is 00:00:57 You know, I get to name my number now. I get to go, who do I want? And hopefully, look, they got to respond. It's a reciprocation, which luckily you did. You're hilarious, man. You're just, I am a connoisseur of comedy, you know, and you're funny, man. Really funny. Thanks.

Starting point is 00:01:18 Thanks, dude. I just, I wanted to have you on the show, if nothing else, to go, Lachlan Patterson is fucking talented and he needs to know that Ryan Offord thinks that. It may mean nothing, but, you know, so I checked that box right here. I'm honored. Thank you. That always feels good. I don't ever get tired of that.

Starting point is 00:01:41 Thank you. Hey, it's your skills, your craft. Like, that's what you do for a living. And I think people maybe take, don't quite realize like entertainers, like this is the job, like they're doing it, but like it's a profession,

Starting point is 00:01:54 it's a skill. Like they enjoy the, obviously everyone likes cheers, but knowing that other people appreciate what you do and see the value of that in the world we live in. It's so serious. And so, God, we need more Lachlan Pattersons in the world. Thanks, man. You know, I, it's funny. It sucks that I need like, like, like I could have a YouTube video. And then under the comments, it has all these comments that are like, keep it going. Thank you. You're so funny. And then one guy's like, this guy looks like Nickelback.

Starting point is 00:02:28 And I'm just miserable. I'm like, let it melt into the floor. First of all, Nickelback's not a guy either. No. So they didn't even take the time. But what I try to do is, you know, I'm probably of similar ages where I just try to keep,

Starting point is 00:02:51 keep a level head about everything. Don't get too excited by all the excitement and also don't get too down about the, the Nickelback comments. Well, one wise mentor told me you haven't officially made it until someone cares enough to criticize you so like it like literally it's easy to criticize but at the same time most people just it's kind of if they're not stopping at all in that time to kind of like

Starting point is 00:03:29 they need to put you down then then you officially know that you're doing something right so it probably doesn't always come across that way because we're all human beings and we're like oh damn is he right i thought i was everyone else said it was good. This guy said it was bad. Maybe it's really bad. Well, I'll listen to him, Lachlan. You're funny. And I've shown you now to like 20 people and every one of them was like, yeah, like dying.

Starting point is 00:03:58 So it's. Thanks, man. Yeah, man. I mean, it's good shit. I mean, you're, what, Canadian? I mean, I know I'm jumping right in. i'm like giving you all these accolades but i know everybody's gonna be able to find you and read and listen and go damn we heard lachlan on the radcast and he is funny as shit so i i uh will take pride in anyone that comes through that channel but let's let's set

Starting point is 00:04:22 the table for everybody lachlan and tell a little bit about your story and let's, let's set the table for everybody, Lachlan, and tell a little bit about your story and let's talk a little bit about the business of comedy. Yeah, let's do it. Um, let's set the table. How, how should I set it? Yeah. Works. Yeah. What made you so funny? Um, I think I just was like, I was an awkward kid for sure. I didn't, you know, I, yeah, I had trouble making friends and comedy seemed to be the way I fit in. I would, I was a joker. I was always trying to make people laugh. And I wasn't good at it, obviously, to start.

Starting point is 00:05:00 So it would often get me in trouble. You know, the dig on comedians is often that they don't take things seriously which is great when it's that time but you know it's like a kid who just isn't funny you know it becomes annoying so i was annoying for a long long time and then because people didn't get it is it because you were kind of dry and it was like it went over So I was annoying for a long, long time. And then... Because people didn't get it? Is it because you were kind of dry and it was like it went over their head or something? I don't think I even got it.

Starting point is 00:05:33 Like for the first... They say about comedy is you don't really find your persona or whatever it is for the first 10 years. And I agree with that. There was just me just like writing all these things that I thought were funny, but they, they just, they just weren't just,

Starting point is 00:05:52 I didn't understand, uh, what I wanted. Now, after 10 years, I, I think of a joke and I can imagine how it would go. And it,

Starting point is 00:06:04 it's a, it's a lot clearer to me. Even still today, I mean, I'm trying to work on this bit about the half sandwich and soup menu item and how ridiculous it is to me. And just the idea of a half sandwich, it's like the only thing on the menu that's half of something. And that, that some chef was like, what do you think about a half sandwich? And the owner's like, well, that's let's tell me more.

Starting point is 00:06:37 Well, what I do is I make a sandwich and then I cut it in half and I get rid of half of the sandwich and we just sell half a sandwich and soup. And I can't quite make it funny, but it's crazy to me. It's so funny to me that this is an item. And I don't know. I'm trying to come up with conspiracy theories on why they do it. My lady thinks it's because they want you to buy the full sandwich.

Starting point is 00:07:03 So, because the other thing about the half sandwiches, see now, here we go. I'm getting into it. I like it. The half, half,

Starting point is 00:07:08 half sandwich is usually only like a couple of bucks cheaper than the full sandwich. So it's not even like a deal. It's not like half price. So she's like, I wouldn't do half a steak usually. Right. Half a chicken cordon bleu that's not flying right

Starting point is 00:07:27 right everybody would think that you that you ate half of it before you gave it to them that's the other conspiracy is where's the other half of my sandwich like tell me how this happened they got a guy eating half of everything just the dishwasher they keep the staff fed with the other half of your lunch yeah dude yeah it doesn't seem fair right like i'll be in your writer's room man like you had it right there dude that's exactly what i was thinking is some i don't want to order this until you tell me where the fuck the other half of my sandwich is. Exactly. It has nothing to do with this joke, but I always think back to Chris Farley and doing an SNL skit where they did the, Sir, we secretly replaced your coffee with a taster's choice.

Starting point is 00:08:22 And because usually they do that. There's an old commercial where they do that. They go, oh, wow, I didn't know. But but he gets mad like throws the table yeah you did what you son of a bitch yeah what did you do with that oh my god food yeah he's so much better at it than me oh whatever that's the rest in peace chris farley different oh man yeah the energy that was uh so my whole career um you know i was a young handsome comedian which was unusual and so i had agents throw me into i even had i had a my agent was a modeling agency and they would submit me for stuff, commercials. I was doing auditions for commercials, and I never booked anything.

Starting point is 00:09:09 400 times minimum, I walked into an audition, got all ready, read the part, got all dressed up in the part, and would go drive through Hollywood and park and go in and sit and wait 400 or more times. And if any direction was given to me, it was more energy. Let's try that again. More energy. And I wasn't able to do that. I was never able to do that.

Starting point is 00:09:42 Well, you are. That is part of what makes your comedy good i think is kind of the understated it's like you don't know what's coming because you're so under like some people are so heavy-handed in the delivery it's like right i feel the sledgehammer coming before you even swing it it with you it's like everything's right here and so and then it's like and then it's i think it makes for me it makes it that much more funny because then i think that's what makes it hit hard for me is because it's like you don't ever change like the monetary like you know but you're like but then you die and laugh it because the

Starting point is 00:10:25 subject matter is hilarious thank you i want i want the audience to um enjoy trying to sniff out where the joke is i don't want to a lot of comedians also will use their hands to deliver or their head they'll nod i watched chris rock's entire last comedy special on netflix and i don't know if you next time you watch it if anyone watches you notice when he tells the joke he goes like this every punch line nodding it is coming i don't even think he knows he's doing it but um i try to um just tell the joke and let the audience figure out if they like it or not on their own. Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't like it. But I see that.

Starting point is 00:11:17 And there's something about you that's like, I don't know if self-deprecation is right. I don't know if that's part of it, but sort of like, I'm up here to tell you these things and I'm not going to make it funny to you. It's either going to be funny or not. I'm just going to say it. And like, but it is funny. It's like, but that's, that's part of what it makes it the whole stick, whether it's a stick or it's having you sitting here talking with me people that listen to this that didn't go watch your stuff you are kind of that guy so it's like it's not even an act

Starting point is 00:11:51 no I don't even think I'm sure you turn it on like I know you're an entertainer like I mean I know there's like buttons you push and do all that but like it feels natural it's the only way I know how i um i do turn it up i turn it up for interviews stand up and when i have guests over um but it's uh it's just um yeah i i've tried i i god i've i've burned all the footage but when i first started i tried every different style of comedy i tried to mimic all of my heroes in comedy and and just did not didn't

Starting point is 00:12:36 feel right and um this just just feels this is how i'm going to do it. Thank you. This is the only way I feel comfortable telling jokes. I think the thing that I do that makes it funnier is the language I use. Yeah, I definitely try to use language that people can relate to for sure. Yeah. I know. And I read about your background and stuff like the, the journey into the business. You were, you were set up and groomed for a lot of different things. Comedy not being one of them. Yeah. I'd love to talk a little bit about that. Um, love my dad, but, and my dad, I had a, I had a dad, I don't know if you're a dad of this variety, but he, he was a high school counselor. He's a retired high school counselor.

Starting point is 00:13:37 And so, you know, for a living, he, he got kids jobs and got them in school and figured out their careers. And so at an early age, my dad was figuring out my career path. And he was also my, my dad was my baseball coach for my baseball team. He was my, he was my, if he wasn't the coach, if he couldn't get the job as coach, he would stand right next to the coach and eventually become the assistant coach by just virtue of being there every day next to him. My dad had the keys to the field, the park, and to the big shed. Every park usually has a shed with all the baseball equipment. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:26 Yeah, so my dad had the batting, the pitching machine and all the gear. So every weekend, my dad would take me to play baseball at the park and teach me soccer and lacrosse and hockey. And, you know, I was groomed for hockey. I played, I remember I never got to, my kids, my friends were all playing hockey and I wanted to play hockey. And my dad goes, okay, let's play hockey. And he immediately put me in training camps.

Starting point is 00:15:02 And I was in training camp for so long that when I finally actually got into hockey, the first time I ever played a hockey game, I didn't know what was going on. Who are these guys? Who are these adults in black and white striped shirts getting in my way while I'm trying to do my circles? And, you know, like it was so, I was just groomed a lot by my father. He raised me very closely. And so and then I remember one day I said, I want to do comedy. And he just didn't want to hear it. You know, he didn't even hear it.

Starting point is 00:15:38 He just changed the subject. He didn't even acknowledge that I said it. knowledge that I said it. And this went on for years because he, you know, he had put in all this work on me, you know, like my dad picked all my college courses, right? I brought home my calendar for college and he, and I woke up the next morning, he had filled it all out he's like here you go go take this to your school and uh and enjoy college do you think that was because in a way that was his career what he was good at and he was directing kids so he wanted to make sure he did that for his son or was it like the product of him not maybe getting or doing what he wanted to do or not having that in his life? Or was it just purely like his way?

Starting point is 00:16:33 I think it's a bit of both. I think my dad's father was a wartime kid. My dad was a wartime kid, but he was born during the war I guess World War II but that was a time after World War II where people were you know they were having to ration everything and be very careful and save and be cautious and so my dad's a very cautious guy and stand-up comedy is is the most it's it's irresponsible it's wild it's it's um especially you know i think it was 1993 or something when i decided i wanted to do comedy um so it wasn't really it wasn't a lot of now that anyone could be a comedian, but back then it was just, it just wasn't a good career choice.

Starting point is 00:17:29 So definitely because that's, he's like, I'm an expert. This is what I do for a living. So that's definitely part of it. But I think also because he wanted me to have job security. He wanted me to be safe. He loved me. He loved me very much and he wanted what to have be safe yeah he loved me he loved me very much and he wanted what's best for me but i just saw it as being closed-minded

Starting point is 00:17:52 and so i ignored him and ran away he ran away to los angeles i'm sure that upset the apple cart a little bit, or was it like, did he love you through it? Or is it like, it was like a little bit of disowning. There was love, but there was, it was all, you know, I wasn't doing well. That didn't help, you know? Hey, look what I did. Yeah. No, it was, it was a lot of just not talking to him because I didn't have anything to report.

Starting point is 00:18:32 And he would always remind me that if I ever want to come back, he knows a guy in the plumber's union and he can get started right away or we can go, we can get you back in school. And I got you, I got you covered, son. Just come up here and I'll take care of you. I mean, I appreciate your old dad, but I'm kind of,

Starting point is 00:18:54 I'm, you know, and I can't speak for your, you know, but I'm glad you're a comedian. You know, we need more, we need more comedy,

Starting point is 00:19:02 you know, like not everybody can deliver it. So I'm glad you didn't go back to plumbing. Plumbing, bro. I'm 6'5". Yeah, me too. That's a first. That's the first time.

Starting point is 00:19:16 Exactly. Can you imagine being a plumber? Excuse me, I'm going to sneeze. Can you imagine being a plumber at our size? No. plumber excuse me i'm gonna sneeze can you imagine being a plumber at our size no even inside i cover my nose yes bless you um yeah i'm too big for plumbing um so thank you yeah i uh oh man i just couldn't i knew that if I went back, I just would be miserable, you know? So kept going, get a little feedback every once in a while. Uh, just, you

Starting point is 00:19:54 know, I feel like that's in life too. If you keep going every once in a while, when you think it's over and you're just going to quit, you know, a comedian would say you're funny. And sometimes it was comedian of, of notoriety. And that was just like, you know, like I remember Bob Saget was at an open mic when I first started and he said, that's a really funny joke you did about that. And I said, thank you. I was so honored or flattered. And he goes, I remember he goes, if if you just you could just add like and then i uh and then i fucked her in the ass at the end of it i think that would i was like did it have anything with the joke or is it just totally like what he was saying like if you add that anything it becomes funny it was it's just bob saget's take on it And I don't know if anyone's ever seen Bob before. Rest in peace, Bob.

Starting point is 00:20:46 He was a very filthy comedian. And so he gave his version of that joke to me as a gift. And I thought that was so nice. And I, but I had no intention of saying it or using it. He was the irony of him being so filthy is, you know, doing America's funniest home videos, which the,

Starting point is 00:21:02 you know, like the most, I don't know, neutered show of all time as far as family-friendly and everything else. Yeah. I don't think it has. Full house.

Starting point is 00:21:11 Yeah, full house. Oh, yeah. Everything on TV was so family-oriented, and then the stand-up is filthy. Yes. Yeah. I don't know if in today's age if you could get away with those two sides

Starting point is 00:21:26 everybody's so damn woke and like if you were that on if you were that on social media or stand up you couldn't possibly have you know little house on the prairie or what you know like any wholesome tv show yeah comedy is that once business that um it it doesn't withstand the test of time like music it it constantly has to adapt to society yeah right that's right we can't so like when you watch old comedy like i have i have i have old comedy in my garage so whenever i'm working in the garage i play like kinnison and stuff yeah and the stuff yeah the stuff he says you he could not say no but that makes it even funnier to me it's like oh my god like we said this we like people are laughing so it's not just that he said it,

Starting point is 00:22:25 but everyone agreed. Yes. And think about like the old TV shows, like blazing saddles and like, like even Sanford and son go watch Sanford and son. And like, you know, like,

Starting point is 00:22:37 right. I mean, television. Yeah, that's right. The show, same thing. And watching,

Starting point is 00:22:42 uh, I don't know. Old Chevy chase movies. And and yeah he's like one of my oh yeah and old chevy chase old richard pryor yeah oh richard pryor oh my god it's like so so many movies would not get made today and most of them are comedy yeah that's right um yeah i mean comedy yeah that's right um yeah I mean yeah uh what's it been like I try coming through social media world I mean you you've your career has kind of blossomed you know in this world of it was all stand I mean like 93 94 like late in 2000s I mean you, you've, you've kind of covered the gamut here of like the channels for distribution of comedy.

Starting point is 00:23:27 Like what's that evolution been like for you? Oh, I think it started with my space. That was probably my first experience in social media. And that was Dane Cook. Dane Cook blew up my space, right? And then Tia tequila um they showed

Starting point is 00:23:48 it as not a social space but as a marketing platform to comedians so we all started as young comedians we all started building our myspace profile to showcase us as comedians and not as just regular everyday people. I now have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, a website. TikTok. TikTok, Cameo. I look at my phone and what else do you got here? Twitter. Did I say Twitter?

Starting point is 00:24:31 I got 12 platforms. Everybody trying to keep up. Waze. I got Waze. Do you follow me on Waze? No. I'd be scary if you followed me on ways i would say leave me alone you're in the car with me i'm right behind you yeah there's a big fan and

Starting point is 00:24:54 i'm right behind you there's a big dude on the side coming up on the right yes yes we're all big fans just leave me alone jesus but how's that changed your the business of comedy for you like i mean i know it's a lot to keep up with but i mean is that right evolution or bad evolution from uh okay the only one anyone the way anyone sees or hears lachlan's jokes is in-person. So there's huge onus on in-person stuff versus the digital medium. Yes, it's I find it to be complete so far. It's been completely separate. So it's been great. Social media has been awesome in that, man, I get so much wonderful warm feedback you know people touch

Starting point is 00:25:48 their screen twice that's what i get from them or they send me a picture of a face with two tears out the side it's very nice i appreciate it but it doesn't at all replace the faces in the audience and meeting people in person. Like that's what I really love. And so I give a lot to social media too, because it's a very giving thing, but I feel like the give and take is much more equal when I have a live show and I get to see them laughing as opposed to a picture of a circle with two little drops of water like i'm i just i'm gonna give you

Starting point is 00:26:36 some rockets or something like something just different like give me some rockets at least use the emoji i'm giving it to you i'm going to put that on every feed going forward. So you're going to know it's me. You're going to see my name and my blue checkmark I had before I could buy it. And you'll know with that rocket emoji. And then I'm laughing at you all. Thank you. I also know there's people out there that just like everything that I do, too. also know there's people out there that just like everything that i do too and that is tough too because i'm i'm also doing r and d here on these things right i'm when i send these clips out i

Starting point is 00:27:13 want to find out if they're working or not and if you just like everything god i'm killing myself with this comment but and i don't gauge whether or not it's... I get it. But you'll know which one's liked more than others. And that should tell you. If you get 300 likes on average and something you put out there gets 900 likes, but then something else gets 150, that's kind of... Even if all 150 were positive emojis,

Starting point is 00:27:40 it tells you that it landed a little flat. You're right. You're absolutely right. Or you're just going to – when I give you my cell phone number when this ends, you're going to just start texting me. I'll give you the real feedback. I'll be like, eh. We'll have like a scale of whatever that might be.

Starting point is 00:27:58 Sure. Stars. Let's do the star system. I'll take it. Yes. I love the star system i'll take it yes um i love the star system um so i dude i i i went from at the beginning of this year i had 8 000 followers on instagram for example and now it's at like 40 40 something thousand yep and and it's because i hired these guys. I hired these kids who reached out to me and they're like,

Starting point is 00:28:27 let me do it for you. And I said, sure. And so I send them the clips and they cut them and post and send them back to me. And then I look at them and if I like them, I post them. And it's been a big help because it takes me to make a clip because I have

Starting point is 00:28:44 the editing software, but it take taking me, you know, I would say three hours for a clip. Of course, I couldn't go any further without mentioning the official skincare partner of the Radcast. Look, I'm all about routines. I got to have routines now. I got to have schedules. What I'm going to do now, I've got a men's care routine at night. This is what I do. I wash the face. I put the face lotion on. I put on the Icon eye serum. This is the best eye serum I've ever used. I actually have

Starting point is 00:29:17 the dark circles gone from under the eyes and then the good. The serum from the gods, as I like to say, or just from jackson wyoming but it's all natural and it works gives you that glow that you always want both morning and night and look i've you know i'm getting to the point i'm in my mid-40s the fine lines are showing up and i need a routine i need like things that i can repeat and that's what this does the whole skincare system and you don't want to miss out on this body bar. Smells like a man. Hey, I want to smell like a man, not a woman. I'm not using my wife's soap. I did a man's soap. And this lather is great. Use that in the shower,

Starting point is 00:29:56 get out at night. Then I use the whole system. And I'm telling you, the icon faith that that's probably been my biggest thing is like you know you start to get the dark circles it is what it is you get older it happens but now i'm starting to feel younger look younger my wife's even noticing and it's all about routines baby go to caldera labs dot com use rad ryan and you'll get 20 off i only support what works and let me tell you it works it's made a difference i've been using it for about two months. Used it before I promoted it because I'm like, all right, let me try this stuff. I've never looked better.

Starting point is 00:30:32 It can only get so good. I need all the help I can get. And Caldera Labs is the official skincare provider of the Radcast and Ryan Offord. And I hope you'll give him a shout out. Yeah. I'm glad you found someone, but now that we're buddies, we're friends. Friends don't let friends spend three hours editing a video.

Starting point is 00:30:53 Not like that. You know, never again. And they do it better than me. Yeah. And so. They're our specialists and it's affordable. I mean, you know, you found the path. You like these guys? Oh, I don't know who you're using. It's affordable. I mean, you know, you found the path. You like these guys?

Starting point is 00:31:08 Oh, I don't know who you're using. It's okay, but we do a lot better. You do? I should, send me your guy. It's funny because they're in Arizona and I'll take a meeting with them and I'll see that, you know, it's 110 degrees there and they're just stuck in this apartment or their house.

Starting point is 00:31:30 And secretly, I'm like, great. It's just perfect scenario for me that you can't leave. Yeah. Just start there and edit. Yeah. But no, I've every big team, but this stuff's pretty pretty good i'm not trying to undercut them in the middle of the podcast i just i think i'm more happy that you've realized that you didn't need to like spend three hours yourself on you know editing stuff well that step was a huge um that

Starting point is 00:32:02 they posted one clip or i posted a clip they cut for me that this clip particular has been, you know, I've been telling this joke and I like the joke, but I didn't realize on social media that it would garner like that much positive feedback. feedback yeah um i don't know the algorithms or anything but you know i post a clip every day and i like them all i like everything i posted it's coming from me so i i'm trusting that i this this has my certificate certified guaranteed i like it on it so when that when one goes viral, I'm like, great. What about all the other ones? But this one clip is about, I don't know if you've seen it. It's about how, like, I love shrimp. Anyway, it started an argument online between people. It's what's that called?

Starting point is 00:33:08 It's definitely polarized people. And they're arguing on my feet like over this debate and it's fun it's it's become fun for me to read these people i don't partake at all because i'm done my work is done you guys can do it you know what i call that you know it's the best kind of performing content that a lot of people shy away from. And you may not have even intended it. Agitational content. Yeah. Okay. That's secret sauce right there. That's a freebie. The others require you call and at least tell me a joke and make me laugh.

Starting point is 00:33:41 Then I'll give you anything you want. You know, you may be free. Thank you. But yeah, agitational content, agitational, you know, and it polarizing is definitely what it causes, but, but it's like, if you agitate, you usually break through. And so, yeah, see, I'm not, I'm not agitating anybody with the half sandwich bit.

Starting point is 00:34:04 No. I like other than the guy who came up with it nobody is nobody's every once in a while someone will be like i like the half sandwich and you know what they say to me ryan they go you know sometimes i'm not that hungry and i'm like well don't fucking eat just don't why are you going to a restaurant have a cup of tea yeah but no they have to eat half a sandwich i'll have i want a cup of soup not a bowl i gotta have a cup and half a sandwich yeah give me a hot dog but take a bite out of it first yeah i don't want to eat the whole thing so just give it to me and that could be part of it it'd be more visual joke you know like yeah but the uh but socials but have you seen a correlation

Starting point is 00:34:55 with social media and crowds or people like coming to shows or anything like that or is it just totally separate that's a good question you're very smart man by the way i like it when people say to me good question to me i no longer need to hear the answer like that i'm full but oh i'm glad you asked me that i still need it um i haven't, but I just started adding my, a show button at the end of the clips. Yeah. And I'm hoping, but no,

Starting point is 00:35:34 I haven't seen any, anything, no correlation yet, but I don't know, man. Like you need to call to action. Every video, you should have a call to action. Call to action. Every video, you should have a call to action.

Starting point is 00:35:46 You should add. I mean, hey, this is a marketing and business show, so we'll get into one of two things. You need to have a news, a way to capture everybody's emails. You need to turn followers into people. The way you turn them into people is you get their email or their phone number. And phone numbers are still kind of weird. You know, even if there's texting now, it gets a little weird. You want people going, oh, they want their phone number. And phone numbers are still kind of weird. Even if there's texting now, it gets a little weird. You want people going, oh, they want my phone number.

Starting point is 00:36:08 But get their email address. Capture it like it's your web address so that then at every show you have, you send out a very simple email telling them where the show is and where it is. And you never know. Yeah, somebody might be in Timbuktu, Arizona, and somebody might be in Virginia and your shows in Minnesota,

Starting point is 00:36:29 but you never know when they're traveling or if they know people there. So you should always, your call to action on every video should be, I've got a live special going on YouTube. It's $10. If you're selling something or you should at least go sign up for you know if you enjoy this i'd love to put you on my list for vip jokes and experiences okay see the vip list the lachlan vip list secret list yeah secrets where i tell you my secret i got all the tricks man we'll we'll we'll

Starting point is 00:37:06 we'll we'll take this offline the uh thanks man yeah but yeah but you do yeah you can start tying it to it and like now you got the audience you've been 44 000 you're starting to get you know scale so you can activate that and i think you i don't know what your following is on tiktok but you gotta you start that should start popping for you if you're doing the right content i haven't looked at your stuff over there i just you're always on my feed on instagram i could do better on tiktok tiktok's angrier at me like they'll i find that the they'll they're more critical they're critical critical they're more critical of like like cens. Critical? They're more critical. Of censoring your jokes?

Starting point is 00:37:47 I just caught... I posted something about how fentanyl... Oh, that was hilarious. Thank you. I told Cameron and Sawyer, I was like literally, I told your joke. If I can tell your joke and like they're chuckling a little bit you know it's a good joke because they didn't have to hear you hear it say it but like it's freaking hilarious because it's so true right so for our audience let's I'm not

Starting point is 00:38:17 making it up you don't have to get into character here but but I want you to to share the bit a little bit. Every time I hear a warning about fentanyl and the dangers, it always it sounds like they want me to try fentanyl. A guy will come on the news and be like, I can't stop fentanyl. It's so dangerous. It's 50 times more powerful than heroin and it's cheaper than crack cocaine. And you can buy it anywhere now in america so don't do it i'm like sounds like marketing line sales line all the time don't do it it's the most popular drug on the streets and it tastes just like chocolate don't do it pairs well with a chardonnay so apparently there is a scene and i had to even go watch it there's three different comments from tiktok where this guy's

Starting point is 00:39:13 stealing from um a movie uh with john c reilly where it's kind of like a takeoff oh walk hard walk hard is that it so and there's a scene in walk hard which is very funny tim meadows is smoking weed and uh john c raleigh's character wants some and he's like don't you don't want this and he's like why is it will it kill me and he goes no it's it won't kill you and they're like he's like was is it addictive and he's like no it won't make you like you know what i mean like it was it's very it's parallels this bit sure and and um they thought you know when you do when you do stuff like that they don't realize that first of all you know they're totally different. Also, it's not like I'm making this bit up.

Starting point is 00:40:08 Watch a news clip on fentanyl. That's funny. It's exactly what the news people say. Yeah. I'm only taking it from the interview of police officers. We can't seem to stop fentanyl. It is the most popular drug on the streets somehow, and we can't stop it,

Starting point is 00:40:26 and people don't understand that it's 50 times. Well, maybe stop bragging about it. Maybe you guys are the problem. Maybe they need some, like the Center for Drug, what is it? The American Drug Anti-Drug Foundation, whoever makes the ad council commercials,

Starting point is 00:40:49 maybe one of the team that comes up with these warnings should actually be an addict. Yeah. You know? Maybe you should run it by some addicts first and see if it's working. Exactly. See if it's turning you off or turning you on.

Starting point is 00:41:05 Yeah. It's a hundred times more powerful than, uh, than, uh, what's it called? It's the one you get in the hospital. They always,

Starting point is 00:41:16 no one in the hospital, they go, it's a hundred times morphine. It's 100 times more powerful than morphine. I'm like, yeah, if I'm an addict, that sounds great yeah exactly so

Starting point is 00:41:27 they uh and the only people that are always sensitive probably and i get it but at the same time a lot of people are being impacted by certain negative things and it's like and so that you can always i'm sure as a comedian and not just that joke, but any joke, it's like if someone wants to be offended or wants to take it to the, you know, the other side of any subject matter that you're talking about that could have had a negative, you know, like that's probably never ending. I'm sure. And TikTok too is like a, it's just like this crazy chick, you know, there's this side chick. I got my Instagram girl, she's supportive and she's consistent. And then I go on TikTok and it's like right away, I don't even follow anyone. And I got tits in my face and it's loud and it's just crazy.

Starting point is 00:42:22 And so I don't put as much effort into that one for sure. Oh, it's definitely a rabbit hole of all sorts of things. It's so like, what happened? Where are you? Where am I? You're getting the vortex. I had a few drinks. I watched one video.

Starting point is 00:42:43 I'm on my couch. I'm like 20 more. I'm on my couch. I want 20 more. I'm in my bedroom. I want 30 more. It's the next day. Yeah. Time vortex, if you get it. When I first was on there, that's what happened to me.

Starting point is 00:42:56 I'd be like, wait. I'd look at my clock, and it's like, where'd that 40 minutes go? And now I just don't really get on there as much anymore because I don't have 40. I don't want to lose 40 minutes of my life. And it's gotten kind of random, like you said, but, but a lot of people are on there. TikTok also Instagram. When you open it, the volume's off. TikTok, when you open it, the volume's cranked. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:20 Right. I can't, I can't open the door and have someone just talking to me right away. Right. I need, I need a minute to just. Yeah. Right. I can't, I can't open the door and have someone just talking to me right away. Right. I need, I need a minute to just, yeah, let me just, let me see the video with the volume off first.

Starting point is 00:43:32 Yeah. You need the doctor to show you the finger, then put the glove on and then put the Vaseline. You need to, you need a little like warmup before they uses that fist. By the way, the finger, we still checking cancer

Starting point is 00:43:45 with fingers like can we get a computer can we find some technology with the prostate exam what's uh what's one of your like favorite shows i mean like i know you got the special and you know certainly talk about that but like maybe what your best or most memorable live performance. Oh, yeah. The perfect set. You know, I had one at a place called Whiskey Bar. I think it was called the Whiskey Bar. at a place called a whiskey bar.

Starting point is 00:44:24 I think it was called a whiskey bar. It was just, it was just a set, but, um, Patton Oswalt was, he went on before me. And I mean, it was like Bill Burr and Tiffany Haddish and Patton Oswalt.

Starting point is 00:44:38 So it was exciting. And the crowd was incredible. And I remember after my set, like, like um just like online too where i just i post what i like and i don't know what's going to happen so i just did my set like normal and patten oswalt came up and he he corners me and everyone's standing around wondering wanting to hear what he's saying but only i got got to hear it. And he said, I, um, who are you and how have I never heard of you? And he went and broke down one of my jokes and said, this is what's so wonderful about that joke. And he just loved me for that minute. And it was just a really,

Starting point is 00:45:25 and I grew up watching Patton Oswalt. I remember being a young comedian and having the DVD of comedians of comedy and watching him and Sarah Silverman, Brian Pessain, Zach Galifianakis. I just loved him. And to have that love given back to me and just not saying a word too,

Starting point is 00:45:50 just keeping my mouth shut and just listening, that to me was a great experience. And I had a great set too. So I felt, I didn't feel like it was, it wasn't real. I mean, I don't have to tell you this. I mean, like as your quasi unofficial non agent, I'm going to tell you like you draw on that at any time you feel like,

Starting point is 00:46:21 yeah, do I belong? Am I heading the right path? I got this troll telling me that he thinks this isn't funny i mean you have one of your you know icons like that sat down and like broke down your joke like you should draw on that and then know like you know you belong thanks man yeah i um i don't know do you have a voice in your head that you go to at times or a few? Yeah. Two or three. What kind of voice is it? Is it like a two or three, right? Me too. the i'm not an emotional person but i have the little one that's like right you know that tone it down you need to understand how this is impacting people you need to and then i have to

Starting point is 00:47:12 go like right you know you pussy you go go go you know like i mean you know that's always driving me like you got one life to live damn it what are you doing and it's you know, that's always driving me. Like, you got one life to live, damn it. What are you doing? And it's, you know, he's probably not that much of a drill sergeant, but it's just, you know. The drill sergeant voice is a man's. It's maybe, I don't know if it's all men's, but it's definitely a straight man's inner voice that I use. Yeah. I like that voice. A lot of people would say that's, okay, good. A lot of people would say it's an unhealthy voice. I use. Yeah. I like that voice. A lot of people would say that's okay.

Starting point is 00:47:45 Good. Yeah. A lot of people would say it's an unhealthy voice. I know. And it's not the ego voice. I think that'd be the third one. It's more of the, I feel like that's the healthy one.

Starting point is 00:47:56 That's like keeping me on the straight and narrow and like keeping me good father, good dad, good business person, like go, go, go. You've got every opportunity.

Starting point is 00:48:05 Don't let anything go. You know, it's more, I'm, but then there's the ego voice of like, for the wrong reasons or like getting caught up in the, oh, you know, this is what Johnny would think about that. And you know, that you really should, you know know if you really want to look the best or do the best or how you know like there's that ego voice that i try to like i've gotten better that's that comes with wisdom and time like when i was 25 that voice like dominated you know not voice i've pushed that voice way back you know but it happens life pushed that voice way back. That too, you know, I have that voice that goes,

Starting point is 00:48:50 it used to go, this is the big, this is it, buddy. This is the big moment. This is every, this is gonna, you're going to be,

Starting point is 00:48:57 get ready. You're going to be catapulted to stardom right here. This is, everything is about to happen for you. now it's um it's the it's the right voice it's the chill this isn't about that this is just about having fun it's another step present yeah everything's laddering you know i mean it's the journey man i you know that's the thing you know the more people i talk to at all different levels in all different fields and like the highs of the highs and lows and lows like the journey like as soon as you get there you're not

Starting point is 00:49:38 happy anyway so why so you need to keep the journey going, you know, and you look, I know everybody's got to eat and you want to, Hey, I'm sure there's a car, nice car, whatever your thing is like something, you know, like we all want and like, but you know, as soon as everybody loves you, then somebody, it just means that there's going to be that many more, you know, negative Johnny voices too, you know, like, so there's always going to be something, but I just, you got to enjoy the journey is kind of,

Starting point is 00:50:11 I think that what I hear from more people and like appreciate every moment and some of this stuff sounds cliche and like bullshit, but like, but there's truth to it. You know, like if we get, if you, if you, what fun is it? If you, if you're just landing somewhere and never going anywhere else, like you get, if you, what fun is it if you, if you're just landing somewhere and never going anywhere else? Like you got to, you know, enjoy every step of the journey. The journey. Yeah, I've been saying it's all practice a lot.

Starting point is 00:50:40 Everything's just practice. And so I, I, when I fail, I can say it's practice. And when I succeed, I got to remind myself it's still just practice and so i i when i fail i can say it's practice and when i succeed i gotta remind myself it's still just practice what's i mean what's making it now for you like you obviously have crossed some roads you know like you're doing some specials you're out there doing you got 50 000 followers roughly on instagram you're doing some specials you're out there doing they got 50 000 followers roughly on instagram you're getting popularity some things but like what are the goals for you and what does really getting over mean to lachlan like what what is that like going on uh a late night show like i what is good you know you know, that would make you happy?

Starting point is 00:51:28 I mean, it's funny. Like, I forced, you brought up the late show and the late, late shows and the tonight shows. I pounded on those doors and they just never opened for me for the most part.

Starting point is 00:51:42 So I've had to kind of, and that's part of finding my voice too. But for me, so, you know, it'd be nice to perform, to have sold out shows. To me, that would be great. That would be incredible to,

Starting point is 00:52:08 cause I've been performing a lot and I go to these clubs and they take a risk on me because they think I'm funny and they have to sit there in the back and cut three waitresses on there and, and give me some stupid excuse like, Oh, it's tax time. So people aren't really going out this time of year or something. You know, it's St. Patty's Day next week. So people are, you know, they'll just bullshit for me. But it'd be, you know, to me, making it would be every seat in the house is full, you know?

Starting point is 00:52:47 We're going to teach you how to do that the uh and it's not it's not because you you got comedy already now it's like but you got to bring them with you that's where the social and everything else like you got to turn those followers into raving fans and like getting them in the circle and keeping giving you know you got to have like the nights you know like whatever it is like but you have to nurture that and then then they'll fill it up for you and then they because the reality is a lot of those places don't have the marketing arm like they'll throw your one video that may or they may or may not have been thoughtful about which one they grabbed on their instagram feed and Lachlan Patterson will be here this weekend. We're so excited.

Starting point is 00:53:28 Their marketing sucks. And then you're standing there and you're like, well, why didn't they bring me? Am I not funny or whatever? Nobody wanted to come. And you feel like they're giving you excuses. But when you can start commanding and bringing your own tribe, it doesn't mean that you're going

Starting point is 00:53:45 to bring them alone to every show like you can fill out 5 000 seats wherever anytime but hell if you had if you could if you could count on 20 of them you know are going to show up or be there or tell people and work for you with you that's when you get powerful okay well i i you nailed it with regards to the fact that uh their marketing is often the issue yeah and um i rely so heavily on their marketing and I would love to not. Yeah. I love that to not even be important. Just send people my marketing for me. Well, exactly.

Starting point is 00:54:36 But you can get there. I mean, so selling out shows, what's like, is there like a theater? Is there like a man, holy grail i mean theaters would be incredible i i i get the joy and i'm i'm so grateful that i get to open every once in a while for some of my favorites um i just got to open for daniel tosh uh down by you in Florida and Atlanta and in Tennessee and in theaters. He's performing in these massive theaters. And I'm going to get to open for Nate Bergazzi up in Pennsylvania next month. But so, yeah, I want bigger audiences.

Starting point is 00:55:24 I love theaters. I'm trying to take it step by step. I got to fill the bars that I'm in right now first before I start doing that. But that's always, I mean, I've had the goal of theaters for 10 years. I've been writing that in my journal. For 10 years, I've been writing that in my journal. And so, I mean, I was in Last Comic Standing a while back, and I made it to the top five finalists. So we toured across the country doing theaters, the top five finalists. And so we did like 60 theaters and i just was hooked ever since then i i love

Starting point is 00:56:08 i loved how they look i love how they smell i just love walking out on a massive stage and seeing that empty room and being like it's just so hard it feels it feels so good when they're all set and then you know have you uh do you why don't that seems like a pretty big accomplishment like why is there a reason that you step like that's not in your bio like you don't have that like anywhere is it purposeful that you don't like attach to that at all last comic standing yeah i think it's in my bio i mean that's the other thing uh what what's what do i want well i'd like a bigger credit than that that's my biggest credit yeah so i'm searching for something bigger than that but right now that is the biggest thing that i've done and it was you know that's coming up on probably nine years ago.

Starting point is 00:57:06 You were top five in that. How many people, like, was the potential, you know, number? Well, they start with a thousand, or they said thousands. When I arrived, okay, so I was walking dogs. I was just like a, I had stopped doing the road because I couldn't, I the road because it wasn't paying enough. I was making money dog walking and just doing shows in LA and being home. I was excited to be home and doing local shows. I stopped doing it. Then they asked me to come audition for last comic standing.

Starting point is 00:57:46 And I told you my auditioning track record, I didn't want to do it. So I ignored it. And then my agent called and said, you're going to go to this audition. I said, nah. And he goes,

Starting point is 00:57:55 can I ask you this? And I said, sure. And he goes, what are you doing? What else are you doing? And I said, that's a good point.

Starting point is 00:58:02 I'll go. So I went and I was in a room they put us me in a room with a hundred comedians in a giant room and they just had cameras all over the room and they just watched us and filmed it and it was uh it felt horrible like look around and there's so many comedians and they all seemed very confident that they were going to win this show. And I didn't, I didn't feel that way. I felt like my comedy career was, you know, not that good. Like I said,

Starting point is 00:58:37 I had submitted to all the late shows and no one got back to me. And so I had all these, I had put it all this effort into this business and given up on it. And now it was dragging me back in with all these young, confident comedians. And, and I went in the audition and it was so hard. It was three people or four people in the audience. It was the producers. Producers and they were in their books just looking like this.

Starting point is 00:59:16 And each comedian would go, I want up there and do their bits. And it was like every, pardon me, every fucking show I had been doing in L.A. So it was like every pardon me every fucking show i had been doing in la so it was easy it was like oh i'm just doing a shitty show okay well that's what i do anyway so i was in my i was in my element it was very comfortable yeah so it was like perfect if they're just blinking glasses and like you you know, some loud blender and, you know, an obnoxious girl or guy talking louder than they should be. You'd been really at home. Yeah. And so they asked me to come back and they just kept every week.

Starting point is 01:00:01 They just kept asking me to come back. And that went on for i mean the budget on that thing was incredible i met i mean they had a every week they had a celebrity um guest so i i met i got i got to be mentored by uh oh man i got to be mentored by Howie Mandel, Jeff Ross. J.B. Smoove was the host. I loved J.B. Smoove. Chick from Curb Your Enthusiasm. And I forgot her name, unfortunately. You like Larry David, like that kind of stuff?

Starting point is 01:00:40 Yeah, that's my kind of humor. He writes like me. Yeah. I have the same, I have various, many of the same complaints about society as he does, for sure. Most of them don't get outside the house, thankfully. Yeah. He has an opportunity to, a vehicle to share these things safely. A lot of my opinions about things have to stay behind these four walls. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:12 Well, yeah. Maybe that's the problem. Yeah. You have to do agitational content. Thank you. I definitely have some written. I don't know. You can text them to me i'll tell you i'll be honest with you i'll be like okay not quite that agitational whoa or uh yes i can i'll send you clips before i post them yeah sure thank you it's uh But still, you know, top five of last comic standing.

Starting point is 01:01:48 Top three. Top three? Yeah, they did a final episode. They just picked one of three. Okay. So I've made it to the last episode. That's how I put it. Dude, I know that I imagine being a professional, you know, that like, okay, that's all i know that i imagine being a professional you know they're like okay that's

Starting point is 01:02:07 all the footnote i mean it's still big fucking deal though you know it was it was awesome i people were shouting at me as walking down the street and in the airport i remember having an issue with my bank and i called and the guy goes is this lachlan patterson from last comic standing and i'm like yeah he goes don't worry i'll take care of it you probably got that celebrity treatment yeah it was awesome i want that i want that again i want it back because it faded right because it wasn't my audience it was nbc last comic stannings audience and so i understand that with time they're you know next season's coming they have a new season a fresh new set of comedians that audience needs to move on because they're really they're fans of the show

Starting point is 01:03:00 yeah i'm going to argue with you though it's called borrowed interest it's called scared leverage there's uh you carry that with you it never goes away and anytime that that shows on you should be maximizing in it and you might go oh i'm just i'm using old accolades or what no it's like it doesn't go away you know do you think that uh do you think michael jackson would you know like he would throw away one of his hits because it was 30 years later you know like or anybody or let's say vanilla ice do you think he's impact or what it took for that to happen, no matter how much time passes. But you can either choose to leverage it or not. And so.

Starting point is 01:03:57 Right. Yeah. And leverage, too, is gratitude. And I think they go hand in hand so um yeah it's uh i it's on my bio you know it's the number one thing still yeah so i it's on there i i loved dude i met i met so many great people i feel like we get talk for hours, man. I think we've, you know.

Starting point is 01:04:28 We have. I know, we've talked for exactly an hour. I think I've got you over the time limit. Okay. Tell everybody that's listening, we'll have all this in the show notes. You know. Yeah. All the places they can keep up with you, your website and all those things.

Starting point is 01:04:44 Sure. Yeah. LachlanPatterson.com for all my show dates. Where are you going to be? People, I'll post a video, come to Texas. I'll be like,

Starting point is 01:04:54 dude, I was just in Texas last week. Come to, yeah. People say come to Vancouver. I was in Vancouver for a month doing shows. Come to South Carolina. Please. I would love to. I would love to i would love to you have uh what's this what's the comedy club there i'm gonna actually the comedy

Starting point is 01:05:11 zone is this greenville the comedy zone in greenville i perform there and i want to come back so i am gonna do that i'm gonna make that effort today i've done that for people when they say i'll even show a show here i got this you know social house we'll have a special showing we've had comedians here we'll have a one night only lachlan patterson we'll fill this mug out i'd love that i would love that i will come for that if you want to do that or or i'll reach out to the comedy zone i'll get get your number and let's talk. Yeah, we'll talk about all that. I really appreciate you, brother.

Starting point is 01:05:49 I know people are going to go follow you and go take it out. They're going to make the world a better place because they're going to be smiling. Thanks, man. Thank you for all your positive feedback and help lift me up because I got to go carry a bunch of shit around the house right now. There you go. Hey guys, you don't want to find us the radcast.com search for Lachlan Patterson. That's L A C H L A N. And look, do yourself a favor. Go find him on Instagram. It'll make your day cause you'll be laughing and you know what you'll do.

Starting point is 01:06:22 You'll hit that share button a hundred times and you'll go, damn, Ryan, that's right. I like being right because locken's funny for ryan alford i'll see you next time to listen or watch full episodes visit us on the web at the radcast.com or follow us on social media at our instagram account the.rad.cast or at Ryan Alford. Stay radical.

Right About Now with Ryan Alford - The Secret To Lachlan Patterson’s Hilarious Success: It’s All About Delivery

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