Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe's Parenting Hell - S10 EP22: Other Parent W*nkers

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... In this episode we're going through the inbox and your brilliant listener correspondence. Including our new favourite feature - 'Other Parent W*nkers' Please follow and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. MAILING LIST: ⁠⁠⁠parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com⁠⁠⁠ Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you, the listener, with advice and of course tales of parenting woe. Because let's be

honest there are plenty of times where none of us know what we're doing. Hello you're listening to Can you say Rob? Rob. Beckett? Beckett? Beckett. Can you say Josh? Widdecombe. Widdecombe. Good job. That's good effort. There we go. Not bad, not bad at all.

Here's my youngest daughter, Otilly. Otilly. O-T-T-I-L-I-E. Not bad at all. Here's my youngest daughter, Otelie. Otelie. O-T-T-I-L-I-E. Attempting the intro. Had to catch her at a rare moment when her big sister, Thea, wasn't around. Otherwise, she'd have taken over

with her serious big sister, Aldo Energy. We're British expats currently living in Malaysia. Love the pod. Thanks for keeping us connected to home when we're so very far away. Love, Bex. 45 the pod. Thanks for keeping us connected to home when we're so very far away. Love becks. 458 months. Do you think you ever get to the point where you emigrate where you're like, I'm done with British stuff?

No. Do you know what I mean? Like, it always feels like- Because it's the best. Are you getting a bit more sort of xenophobic as you get older? No, just proud Rob. Just, I'm just proud of British values. I'm not saying they're the best values, I'm not saying we're the greatest country on earth and what we achieved from such a small isle and where we went and what we did and what

we did for people. I'm just proud. Yeah, no, I think, no, because it's the same with people who emigrate to here. You do have an attachment. Your childhood meant so much to you, doesn't it? It shapes you. So you're always going to have an attachment to it. I do think as well, there's a weird British people are a bit not a lot a bit odd. Yeah, it's quite a niche Sense of humor and attitude to life. I think with the best sense of humor That's why last one laughing you came as the best one

Do you think the the British are the best? Well, if you include the Scottish I had the British the British not the English. I know, I think I, I know Ireland's a separate country, but that Irish. I'm throwing it in because it counts. Yeah. I'd say the British Isles and Ireland, that little sphere, is the best at comedy. For some reason is the best at comedy. Yeah. I think you could argue that if you went from like that and the Welsh as well.

Yeah. That little unit. I think the American, I do like American comedians, but I think my favorite American comedians. They're a bit angry for my tastes. Well, I quite like Bill Burr, but he's a very much a sort of Bostonian Irish kind of guy. I just find Americans comedians are a bit too in love with the fact they're comedians. And they think being comedians is-

They're better at showing off than British people. Do you know what I mean? They're constantly talking about being comedians. Yeah. As a comedian. Oh, fucking move on. We're not special comedians. Anyway, we're broken,

and we're looking for an outlet and some validation. Rob, do you know what would prove we're not special is we're not gonna dedicate this episode to us, we're going to dedicate it to our correspondents. I've got a couple of things I want to say first though. Oh, okay. As a comedian, let me cook. I don't think there is anything really to chat about. Did we ever solicit for other pairers of wankers stories because we've got loads of them but I've got no memory of that. Yeah, I think I'll call it parent wankers. Where other people at schools do your head in.

Right, should we do some correspondence, Josh? Do it. We don't need me talking. No. About my life. We are bored to the back teeth with these two pricks. Let's move on to the good people. Hi guys, you spoke about Josh Waring his watch to bed, my ex-warriors.

Let's get back to me and you Rob, that is right in. You spoke about Josh Warren, his watch to bed, my ex-warriors glasses to bed. That can't be true. That can't be true. That's it, absolute psychopath, just normal spectacle. What about breaking them? What about breaking them?

Didn't bother taking them off at night. That is wild. That feels like you're going to fuck your glasses up. That's mad. You're closing your eyes. Well maybe it's like he's so blind and bad sight that he's worried about waking up. Yeah, so he doesn't want to wake up in the morning. He'd have to have them attached on. You know when Edgar Davids played with his glaucoma glasses. He doesn't need his glasses all night, does he? So why wear them? Like, like a watch?

No, no. But then you might as well say, why wear? Like, no, no, no, no. I don't see the advantage of taking my watch off. Because it's uncomfortable. You might scratch it. My watch isn't comfortable. Your watch isn't comfortable.

Scratch it on a fucking duvet that's the least scratchable fabric in the world. No but it's a wooden bed stand by your arms. What are you doing with your arms at night? You might catch a kid in the head with it or rose. Your little metal watch, little spectacle. Try it with your glasses on, see how you get on. I'll try. Try it fully dressed and it just saves some time in the morning. It'd be too hot. It's so hot. Too hot. I love it cold in the bedroom. So we've had hundreds of messages apparently on social media and the inbox asking if Michael is the voice of Big Brother. This is not true so please stop writing in thanks. If people ask you in the street about this Michael

is it just on the email inbox? Well fortunately no one knows what I look like so they can't really stop me in the street. We're just getting a lot of stuff in the inbox. But there's not one voice of Big Brother, is there? Because my understanding, not to go to the rest is entertainment, is the way the voice of Big Brother works is that's the producer that's on at that point. It's not a job in itself. No.

I think one of the producers in particular in the diary room, I don't watch it, but we get sent a lot of clips going, is this Michael? Is this you? Is this Michael? Oh, can we play out one of the clips? Let me try and dig one out. I'll probably delete it. You all sound the same though, you TV producer types. Yeah, exactly. That's sort of quite, sort of like, smug, superior kind of vibe. Do you get that, Michael? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I will say if the VO fee is good for it and they're looking

for someone, I will undercut the current person. Can you say Josh, please come to the big brother house? Diary room. The diary room. Yeah. You're already in the house. Josh, please come to the diary room. Oh, you know what? I feel like a head teacher. I think your voice is more suited to the bit where you'd say, and why do you feel that, Josh?

No, so you need to do two. So Josh is kicking off and he needs to come to the diary room and then ask him a deep question once he's in the diary room. Josh, please, can you come to the diary room? Immediately, that's what they say. Immediately. Yeah, that's it. Oh, it's kicked off, right?

Josh is in there now. Josh, we've noticed that perhaps your mental health has been struggling a bit lately and you seem a bit overwhelmed. Yeah, don't do it for this show. Do it for the Big Brother one. Oh, that's good stuff. Well, this is role play, not real stuff, Michael. Josh, welcome to the intervention episode. Dun dun dun dun. I think you're two years too late. We just peppered it through episodes.

We didn't do one big one. Could I just say on that? Such a sexy voice, Michael. I don't think they'd be as clear as we think. Your mental health's struggling, because then they'd know that they've got responsibility to take the person out. They always put it on them a bit, wouldn't they?

They'd say, why did you punch PJ? Or whatever. Do you punch PJ or whatever? Do you know what I mean? Did you think that was acceptable behavior? Yeah. That's not where wine bottles go, Josh. Yeah. Right.

I wonder he stopped drinking if he's putting it in there. Oh, bloody hell. Acts like a fucking vacuum once it's up there. I love it when you're off for a funny line and your throat goes and you desperately try. Oh! The brain's still working, but you can't clear your throat in time. Hello, you sexy and relatable fuckers. I am a long-term listener and have three-year-old twins. I didn't have the luxury of listening to you on podcast

Walks with a Baby as dealing with twins in the early days was carnage. I'm writing to tell you about what I think is the first recorded gobble gobble fail. Okay. I was driving to work today when I worked as a secondary teacher in South London. Oh. Bad news for you, Rob. There we go.

It was around 15 minutes before school started. I mean, there were a lot of children entering the school and parents doing their morning drop-offs. As I'm turning into the car park at my work, I see that none other than Josh Widdicombe walking past me. Are you hanging around schools again? When the fuck was this? Wandering around in your Mac.

In a South London school at 9am. You've got to be flashing on your doorstep, do you? I turned to my wife who was in the passenger seat and I said, there's Whiddicombe. It's a bit disrespectful. Without hesitation, my window is down. At the top of my voice, I shout gobble gobble. All the children, parents and passersby in the street turned to look at me. However,

Whittaker must have charged his headphones once because he did not turn around and continued his day without the knowledge he'd been gobble gobbled. Whilst I had to accept what had actually happened, which was that I had shouted gobble gobble at a bunch of students I teach and then drove into the car park. I don't believe that I was walking into it. Why would I have been walking? You could easily be walking past the South London School if you was out somewhere filming or was you visiting somewhere or have you done any filming? At 9am! He's gobble gobble tell one wrong. He's gobble gobble the wrong person. I'm just glad that students aren't saying gobble gobble to me when they see me in the corridor.

Keep it sexy and relatable. Gary, 406 month, South London. But that's a perfect gobble gobble. You're driving past gobble gobble and there's little wave and you move on. I told you about my experience at the gym in Norwich, didn't I? The David Lloyd, I think you did.

That lady came in in full clothes and had a photo of me whilst I was carrying kettlebells up and down a track and had a photo and had a chat about parenting hell. And then as I walked past her in the cafeteria, which was having a cough, which went, Oh, I forgot to do gobble gobble. I was like, I think that ships failed. We've had a selfie next to the squat rack, but that's a great gobble gobble. But I don't believe it was me.

Yeah. And we should say as well, this is stolen from the Chatterbix podcast. So give Chatterbix some listens. Can we have the time and date, please? Time and date, OK. Yeah. For your police records. Gary. That's a good gobble gobble there. Yeah. We've got loads of other parents or wankers stories.

Yeah, which I don't remember. I was talking about parents at school. There's always a wanker at school. One of the parents that does something and it's interchange Well, it's not always the same one, but I asked for other parents of wankers stories I think I used a more choice term, but we downgraded it to wankers from the sea bar. Yeah. Yeah fine Hello, Josh, Rob and Michael, please keep me anonymous Long time this snap first time emailer as I just had to respond to this topic

There is a mom of a girl in my child's class who is that mum. If your child is doing two after-school clubs and sports, they're doing four clubs. Oh, fuck this, fuck this. If they've joined a local team, they're on the books at the local football league club. Oh, fuck that. I could go on. I know these people. Yeah, I hate them. I despise them. I also caught her in a lie a few weeks ago where she was bragging to her posse of mum friends about how advanced Her Charles Reed, you know fuck all people that give a shit about their Charles Reed age They all get to the point where they can read or not. Who gives a fuck at what stages I want that my daughter was currently reading Lord of the Rings. You don't see me bringing it up on the podcast

You know what? I don't read I'm busy fucking doing shit. Just to be clear, my daughter isn't reading Lord of the Rings. She's not a fucking nerd, man. She's not a fucking hairy virgin at Games Workshop. Do you know what I'm saying? Anyway, she was bragging to her positive mum friends about how advanced the child's reading age is when actually having sneaked a peek during parents evening at the long list left open on the table, I know exactly what age she is and there was a couple of years between the answers. Oh yes please. So hang on, they can't leave a child's reading age hanging about can they? Well they must have and let's be honest. I think you know what though. I've looked. Yeah. When my daughter got hurt, so there's like a

report that we get that's like, you know, like four levels. Yeah. I don't know what they are, but they're outstanding, good, satisfactory, could do with some work or whatever. And they're across a load of things like social, all that kind of stuff, right? And I showed my daughter and then she was like, brilliant, can I look at Aggies?

And you're like, no, they don't send out all of them. She's got the Josh Widdekin gene. Well, she just thought they sent out all of them. And I thought, imagine if they fucking publish. But if they did have that table left around willy nilly on the table. Yeah. I can't say I wouldn't look. I would definitely look and I'd be disappointed with myself after,

because we are part of the problem. Yes. I'd hate myself, but I would look. In the same way that if they left the feedback for all the comedians that had done Mock the Week, I would look at it, but I'd regret it. Yeah, also, if it had a list of everyone I know and their penis length, I'd have a look.

I wouldn't look at all of them, I'd just sort from longest to shortest and look at the top and the bottom Yeah, that would be my negotiation within me to go. I've got to have a look. I don't want to be too nosy I'll be honest. I wouldn't bother with the top But yeah, so that was from anonymous I know we like to champion our offspring in whatever they do I don't think we have to champion our offspring everything they do. Let's just not comment on it. Let them get on with it We're British let's bring it back to that.

And we should be embarrassed about our successes. No, we shouldn't be embarrassed. We should be indifferent. We should be ashamed. Like I am. We should be ashamed of everything we've done. Good or bad. We should see through form and have no feeling on it matter because it doesn't matter deep shame about everything about ourselves and we should shout to ourselves in the shower anyway hello you gorgeous too this is related to the parent.

I did call myself a stupid fuck the other day and punched my steering wheel I was on tour in Cardiff and I was going to train, do boxing training with Joe Kazagi, who for me is like up there with like, yeah, like you wanting to like write a song with Damon Albaugh, not write a song, but like do a bit of like jamming. Yeah. And I took the wrong turn trying to get to Newport off the M4 and I went the wrong way twice and I did 20 minutes of my journey and I screamed and punched the steering wheel and screamed you stupid fuck. Oh my God.

It happens sometimes. It happens. You should have seen me when I left my keys in my fishing net. Absolutely. Hello you gorgeous two. This is related to the parrot wanker shout out. When my daughter was in year three,

we had a parent's WhatsApp group. The school had done something to piss a lot of us off. So we took to the WhatsApp group to moan and essentially slag off some of the teachers. Do you know what, Rob? That is something I'd resist. That WhatsApp group is leaky. I'd slag off the teachers, maybe to another parent in person.

Certainly not in writing. And I definitely dip my toe in with a little bit. So what do you think of Mrs. or Mrs. So and so, and they go, well, I'll find that they can sometimes, you know, when you just sort of start picking at a thread before you can fully jump in. I don't think I'd write that on a WhatsApp, I try to avoid WhatsApp groups as much as possible. Fair enough. Roll forward a few days, it turns out one of the parents took a screenshot of

our messages and showed them to the head teacher. What a fucking snitch. So are they on board and they're trying to find backup to show that the teacher that there's lots of people that don't like it or they grass in. We then all got an email from the head to say, we all needed to be nicer. Then if there's one thing you choose to be in life, it should be kind.

Or if you're going to be a teacher, we choose to be fucking good at it. Why is the parent? What this little rat? I'll kill them and stick a rat in their mouth and leave them on the school playground. That's what I'd do. Rob, you're not gonna believe this. Fucking rat. I've been witness to almost exact same situation. A mafia murder. Yeah.

You know what I'm currently watching the Godfather part too. Yeah. But Rose doesn't want to watch it she's not interested in it. Yeah. So I'm watching in ten minute chunks when Rose is like doing something. It's very difficult to follow. Well, Rose is never going to watch. You're not getting her off below deck for that. No, exactly. Or Real Housewives. So when I was at nursery, when I was at nursery, when my daughter was at nursery,

yeah, we weren't in the WhatsApp group. Good decision. I think nursery. No, no, it wasn't our decision. Oh, you got left out. We just never got asked, right? And then the first we knew of the WhatsApp group. So there was one birthday where my daughter didn't get invited. I was like these fucking pricks. They haven't invited my daughter to the birthday. Turns out they presumed her in the WhatsApp

group. Right. Anyway, we found out about the WhatsApp group when we received an email from the nursery to everyone saying that they had seen screenshots of the WhatsApp group. And if you've got issues with the nursery, that is fine, but please raise them directly with us rather than bitching about them on the WhatsApp group. So it was a similar... Also, I'd say, no, I'll raise them directly with you if I want to. I'm allowed to slack you off as much as I want. Well...

They're not doing it on a public forum. The nursery dealt with it very well. I don't, I think that's important. Fucking, I'll write what I want to my mates on WhatsApp. Fair enough. Unless it's the nursery's own group. That is true, that is true. That's the gray hair of WhatsApp.

It isn't a public... People treat it like it's direct messaging, which it is, direct messaging. No, I think the point of the nursery was, we can't fix this unless you tell us. Yeah. It wasn't, don't say it on a WhatsApp. It was, oh, please tell us. Cause if you're saying it wasn't this, the macaroni on Tuesday's shit and all the kids don't want to eat it. We can't do anything about that if you're not telling us. Yeah. I ate some gray area that what's happening. I'm like, if people have got problems with the teachers, they've got problems with the teachers, right?

And they're allowed to speak to other people about it. Don't snitch on them. You can't. I just say on the group, look, guys, if you're not happy with the way I teach you, I'd suggest, you know, speak to the school. And all teachers, please be kind. That is a mad response.

It depends what they're saying, though. I think we all need to be nice. And there's one thing you should choose to be in life, it should be kind, is setting yourself up for a mad response. It depends what they're saying though. I think we all need to be nice. And there's one thing you should choose to be in life. It should be kind. It's setting yourself up for a huge fall because at all points we're trying to be kind, but everyone loses their cool. Everyone slags people off.

Everyone does those things. You can try. It depends what they're saying though, Josh. If they're going like, oh, I think that they set too much homework and I never see it marked. It's a bit of a piss take. It's different to go, I think he's a fat wanker in his car shit.

That you'll be an unkind. The other one is having a fair life. Tell you what, though, that car is just so you know, if someone does put on a WhatsApp group, you're in that I'm a fat wanker and my car shit. Don't forward it on to me, Rob. No, keep it to yourself. And you know what? There's some things I don't wanna know.

I feel sorry for the head teacher. God, oh God, what? So I'm gonna have to get you in, Mr. Smith. Unfortunately, there's some parents who've got WhatsApp group and they think your car's shit and you're a fat wanker. I'm gonna message back and say, I think they should be more kind.

What do you feel about that? But just so you know. Yeah, finish your mouthful. That's the general. Finish your mouthful. Yeah, so what do you think about it? I don't think you should be mean about people. I think snitching to the school is pathetic.

They said here from Anonymous, the parent in question went very quiet after this, but a number of us left the group as we could no longer trust it as a safe space to vent. You should definitely be able. That's the point of it, is to share concerns about the school. I'm going to say it.

I'm going to say it. How do we know who the parent is? That's the big, if you're, I'm going to have a go at the school here. You shouldn't snitch. You shouldn't sell out your snitch. Do you know what, Robert, if I'm snitching, I'm the first on the WhatsApp group to say who the fuck snitched. Yeah, well exactly. If you are going to snitch, you've got to deal with the snitch well.

If you're going to snitch, don't own up to snitching for the love of God. Busy bastard though. I'm going to show this to the school actually. You know, if it's really like aggressive and like threats, of course, but if it's just like, I think, oh, I'm not sure about them or that. That's the whole point of it is to have a place for the parents to go, how do you feel about it? Because I feel like this. Personally, I don't care what anyone else thinks. I have my opinion and I'll speak to school directly, but each to their own. People like strength in numbers. I find it. I prefer to care what anyone else thinks. I have my opinion and I'll speak to the school directly, but each to their own. People like strength in numbers. I find it preferred to be alone.

You are a lone wolf, Rob. Yes. And that is why when you speak to the school, none of your concerns get taken on board. Do you know what? Actually, I think they do because I'm quite serious. When I, if it's a serious thing, I talk to the school, I go in and I'm quite serious.

And cause they're so used to me smiling and joking. I sit there quite like just not stony face, but just with a serious face on and zero last one laughing. Yeah, I'm pouting. And I think sometimes like, I think less is more if you've got an issue, going and going strong and really mean it, but don't put them up on every little thing. I think most of the time, my problems with the other parents as opposed to the school, I think normally they're a bit too busy. And the teachers know what they're doing most of the time. You've got other parents as opposed to the school, I think normally they're a bit too busy

and the teachers know what they're doing most of the time. You've got to trust them with it. It's their job. They do it every day. They've done it for 15 years. I've been a parent for eight. I know I've only been the parent of a seven-year-old once for a year. So I'm just trying to work out the maths of that.

If I've got a seven-year-old in a class, right? And I think I'm not sure about the way they're teaching my seven-year-old. I'm living the one experience I've got of a seven year old being taught. I have to trust that the experts at the school who have taught seven year olds for 15, 20 years, understand the best way and the best methods to get the best results of teaching that child, because they've done it day in, day out. So you have to trust them as the people in the know, as opposed to going off your own ego of I know best for my own child. Because what it really is, you don't. I know best to what stand up I need to do in

Ipswich on a Wednesday night much more so than the school teachers because that's my job that's my experience. All that fucking prick that wrote to you in Cheltenham you know more than him. Exactly but I wouldn't judge him for that either he thinks he knows. He's a fucking prick. He came in with good intentions. Do you know what if he was to write that on a WhatsApp group, I'd be screen grabbing it and sending it right to the fucking teachers. I think the teachers get too much shit personally.

So do I, like referees. Please keep an on. There's one in every year group, but our class prick is the next level. Announcing loudly after parents evening that her son is the teacher's favorite. Fuck off. This is a sitcom character. And the cleverest in the class. Fuck off.

Sports day last year, my daughter was in reception. They're all lining up to do the running race. Us normal parents clapping saying, do your best and so on. Annoying mum screams, come on, name of son. You're faster than all of these lot. Put together, This will be easy Jesus Christ what's an awful woman awful?

Sorry Already a competitive streak. I wasn't aware of his building as I not only now hate her for putting little kids down But I also know my daughter is fast as fuck The problem with these these emails is I feel like the normal parents see a bit of themselves the wanker parents. Yeah Oh, yeah, that's so you get to the end of the race. It's her son V my daughter the front two runners She's screaming at her son knock knock her off course. What? That's cheating. I'm cheering politely, outwardly, while silently, desperately winning my daughter on one while my husband is filming the race. She sprints by him to an easy win, which he tries to trip

her up after the race and gets told to return to the classroom. The other mum's face is like thunder, but fake congrats all round from her. Oh, love it. A few hours later, her post goes up on the parent page. What's that? Is that the WhatsApp group? I don't know. Maybe it's a website.

Get me away from it. Awful. This is mental. What's that? Oh my God. You all right? Oh, wait there. Is that the Monday morning axle grinder?

What the hell was that? Fucking hell. What is it? It's fish tank. Look, the fish tank. He's run out of water again. You're filling it. Josh has got a... Why is there a fish tank in his fucking podcast studio

that's got a filter that makes noise? Jesus Christ! What's going on? Listeners, I can see Josh in a pair of shorts, calf's looking on point by the way, fucking ripped to shit he is at the moment, big long shorts, big jumper and he's just unplugged the fish tank. What happened there mate?

What was that noise? I thought it was someone doing DIY. Adrian's not working today is he? No I think the filter in the fish tank just died. Is that what that was like grinding to a halt? Yeah it just went wrong. Have you got enough water in there? Yeah. Oh so have you turned it off? Yeah I've turned it off. That's another little job for you, pop that on the list. Fucking fuck my life. Fuck my life. I need fucking fish tank filter now. Not now, let's do that after. Let's finish.

Let's talk about this fucking prick, right? Because it gets worse. So we get to the end of the race. A few hours later, parents page. A huge well done to my boy. First in all his sports day races. The champion of the whole class. Left them all for dust. This cannot be true. This woman needs to be sectioned! This is lies! She's living a fake reality!

Oh my god. I screen grab the video of my daughter crossing the finish line. A clear two meters ahead. I don't pause to think, I just close it. She quickly- Oh no! You're becoming a wanker! Don't let them drag you in! She quickly deletes her post. You win! She's not spoken to me since, yet all the other parents have been messaging me to say, well done. So she's gone on and lied about her son winning, and then the other ladies...

I think she's mentally unwell that first one, because what's wrong with her? I think she's got... She's a narcissist. She's a narcissist. But the way to deal with narcissists is to just just to leave them Yes, you don't have to prove anything to her because they love the drama of it all but what a sweet victory I mean, it's a great victory. But what I would say is revenge digs two grades, Josh Oh, you will live a much calmer life if you allow these people to exist about

Fucking have a fucking laugh for once back In bore off allow these people to exist without reacting to them. Oh, fucking have a fucking laugh for one speck of Jesus Christ. Fucking bore off Mother Teresa. You sound like Lou when I'm trying to calm her down. Jesus wept. Hey, I'm just a pretty cool guy. I feel like I'm a human split. I'm self-medicating with my man.

That is insane. I get her being a bit of a dick at the race, but the actual lie to write it on the page. I mean, that is a great flex I put in the screen grab video. This is a great topic. This is brilliant. I'm loving it.

I'd like to do a special of other pair of wankers, Michael. No, we're down. Other pair of wankers and playground sugars. Top tier stuff. Anything where everyone has to be anonymous is my favorite. It's always the best stuff, isn't it? Yeah. I'm tempted to write in some of my stories

that I can't say because it'll cause too much drama. And just put anon and you read it out. But then you'll start slacking me off. And I'm like, hang on, I thought I was in the right. What, this fucking prick? Who's this bloke presenting a zen that actually has got deep-seated rage to everybody he meets that he has to try and meditate out of it before his head explodes every day.

Rob, you're really Zen-y if you're allowed to sit in your own for three hours every fucking morning trying to cope. But you can't, you have meltdowns before you know it. You're trying to meet a boxer and you're headbutting your fucking steering wheel on the M4. One thing you'll say about Rob Beckett is he's very Zen when he's offering advice on other people's stories. Absolutely. Aren't they people's stories? Absolutely. Are they the best ones?

Yeah. They're the best guys, aren't they? When you read those fucking quotes from philosophers, I'm like, right, I'll tell you what, you do the school run and I'll meet you from fucking coffin to see how chilled you are then, mate. Hello, you lovely pair. I'm a huge fan of the two of you and your podcast. It keeps me laughing while I clean other people's homes.

Hopefully she's, you know, the paid cleaner, not some sort of strange, yeah, stupor that pops into cleanup. I was listening to your most recent podcast where you were discussing other parent wankers, and I couldn't not get in touch. A kid in my son's year two class has a Portuguese dad and don't we know it. Everything he does, his mother remarks, Oh, it's the Portuguese in him. That's a great reason to be annoyed at someone. Every time someone new turns up at the playground, have you been to this school

before, take a seat, you can order at the table or just trying to do some Nando's banter. Yeah, I liked it. I liked it. Yeah. He gets the lead in the class play. Oh, it's the Portuguese in him. Get several Valentine's guards.

Oh, it's the Portuguese in him. gets several Valentine's cards, oh, it's the Portuguese in him, loving the Out There School lunch menu, oh, it's the Portuguese in him. I would say kids from Portugal and Spain do eat more, so I'll give you the Out There School menu. But that's a cultural thing rather than a genetic thing, isn't it? Yes. So maybe his dad's influencing him.

The Valentine's card's strange, is it's like Portuguese men may be a bit more sexier, but he is still a five-year-old boy. Yeah. And getting a lead in the cast play. I wouldn't say Portuguese actors are dominating Hollywood or the Globe and Shakespeare. No. This is great.

It's never ending. And not only that, the Portuguese dad is an utter prick. Ha! Thanks for the laughs. Please keep the anonymous. There you go. Keep them coming. Keep them coming.

You can just imagine the other mums crossed arms in the playground. Oh. And the mum going, well, it's the Portuguese in him, the eye rolls spinning in the back of their head. Oh. Oh, Nightmare Names. Nightmare Names. Let's do some of these. We need to do more correspondence episodes.

I love them. People that have got names that have been normal and then something's happened in the public eye. For instance, you're called Harold Shipman or whatever. You're a two year old boy called Harold Shipman in the news breaks. Yeah. Before you know it, you're life's in the night there. Yeah.

Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. I heard your shout out for people with names that have become a nightmare during their lifetime and had to email him. My name is Hermione. Oh, Josh and Michael. I heard your shout out for people with names that become a nightmare during their lifetime and had to email in. My name is Hermione. Oh, here we go. I was born in 1998, just after the Harry Potter books were published, but before they became the phenomenon. I think that's helpful. I spent my entire life saying, yes, my name is Hermione, the same as in Harry Potter.

I think though it helps people understand the name because no one knew that name before. That is actually easier because you go yeah like Harry Potter not H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E. Hermione! Because we get that with the dogs they're called Fred and George and they go like Harry Potter. I'm like what? Is that the Harry? No I don't know what that means. I think there's two currents called Fred and George. I've no idea. Rather than giving my names at cafes I just go by the name Emma to avoid painful conversations. Yeah, because you forget Harry Potter is so important to so many fucking doibs.

Emma is the name of the person that plays Hermione. Oh, muddy the situation. Yeah. To make things even worse, one of my best friends is called Harry. Oh, no. And I'm a notorious know it all. So really lived up to the stereotype created by the name. To make things even worse, one of my best friends is called Harry. Oh, no. And I'm a notorious know it all. So really lived up to the stereotype created by the name.

Love the show. And I've been listening to the start. Keep up the amazing work. Gobble, gobble, toil and trouble. Is that Harry Potter? Toil and trouble? I know it's Shakespeare, is it? It's I suppose it's witches. It'll do. OK.

Nightmare Names. Hi, Rob and Josh. I've just listened to the episode where you asked for experiences of names that have become problematic after a Karen emailed in. A friend of mine knows someone in her mid-30s called Isis. Oh, that's a classic. That is a problem. She's named after the Egyptian goddess, but as you can imagine, her name has become a little more problematic in recent years.

Plus, it's not a very common name here in London. It's led to some odd sentences from my friend that could be misunderstood like I'm just off to meet ISIS. ISIS was saying to me the other day or ISIS has really got a point about the new coffee shop on the corner that may not do as much business because there's not much foot traffic. Love the podcast especially as my wife and I have a three and a half year old called the Taliban who's, sorry, a three and a half year old who seems similar to Josh's son. She doesn't listen, but I constantly say on Parenting Hell the other day, she's actually asked me to stop saying that. Well, she needs to fucking listen then, doesn't she?

That's James and Ritchie from Wimbledon, but now living in Bromley, who's got an ISIS friend. Yeah, tell your wife that she needs to listen. Did we say this last time that there's a company in London that was a cement company called Jim or Mixit? Yes. And they've stuck with it far beyond the controversy, but I think they've changed it now. We'll try and ride this out. It's going to cost too much money. But yeah, it feels like ISIS hasn't been in the news as much recently. She's having a bit of a reprieve, the lady ISIS. Yeah. I'm not saying that's good or bad new. I don't you know, bad good news. I don't it's good. They're not in the news. I'm not a cross ISIS as much so well I'm anti anti ISIS. Yeah, if

you are I am. Hi, Rob and Josh. My name is Libby. Spelz. Jihadi John. Yes. Was he ISIS? What's the ISIS? No, I think he was Al Qaeda, wasn't he? Oh God, it's hard to keep up with it. It's like S Club 7, S Club Juniors, wasn't it? Yeah, and before you know it, Little Mix turned us up and then who were the Saturdays? Do you know what I mean? Jim or Little Mix?

It's always a new one. Exactly, my name, Libby, L-I-B-B-I, became a bit of a nightmare when Tesco decided to name their own brand of sanitary products after me. What? Libby sanitary? Oh dear. Fortunately it didn't last long, but those few months were not the most pleasant. I was glad Tesco's products went under. Of course they went under, they were sanitary products.

Oh, that's a shame. Is it? Well, I liked it, but it's a mental image that no one's looking for. I tell you what I've dealt with the last couple of days, he's been going for walks with my neighbors and he's got a dog that's a female dog that's in heat. Oh yeah. I've never experienced a dog in heat before. No. And they put a little nappy on her to stop the mess. Has it not been spayed Rob? You can get your dog spayed but you have to let them have a full season I think it's called first. A full sort of flushing of the pipes as it were. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah. But luckily, my dogs have had their

nuts off. So they're running together fine. And there's no hanky panky. Yeah. Hello, Josh, Rob and Michael. I've listened since they don't can't see myself stopping. Thank you very much. I can't see myself stopping. I can't see it. It might happen. I can't see it happen. Well, it depends.. It might happen. I can't see it. It could happen. Well, it depends. Imagine if we become problematic. Yeah, there's an ethical sometimes a Kanye West song comes on. Exactly. And I'm like, Oh, that's a good song, but I don't like what he says. No, those yeezys are comfortable.

I've listened since day dark, can't see myself stopping. I have two boys aged 16 and 21. Your lives are so relatable. You have so much more to come. Fingers crossed. Yeah, I'm sure there will be loads of stuff going on. I live in Australia and we visited friends in New Zealand. We all grew up together in the UK. We met their friend at barbecue and his name is Peter Sutcliffe. Oh, that's unfortunate. That is unfortunate. Can I hear someone in the background? Is that your son?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my son. Let me just deal with that. Okay. Tell him Peter Sutcliffe's coming over from Australia. unfortunate. Can I hear someone in the background? Is that your son? Yeah, yeah, that's my son. Let me just deal with that. Tell him Peter Sutcliffe's coming over from Australia. Oh, door was open. What a sounds coming from my house today. You couldn't have called the fish tank. No, but I'd say having children in the house over Easter and record a podcast with the door open was a bold approach. Well, I'll tell you why the door was open, Rob. Go on. Because my son came up between, we've recorded one and we're just recording another one. My son popped in between.

Yeah. And said that he didn't know how to play on his own. Right. Because. Welcome to life. Yeah, his sister was up to something. And so I had to kind of usher him out and tell him to do something.

Yeah. And then I thought, I'll just leave the door ajar to check that he's okay. Right okay could be should be concentrating on work but that's fine you know yeah working from home aren't we no one actually works today oh here we go Jim Ratcliffe Peter Sutcliffe sounds too much like Peter Sutcliffe Peter Sutcliffe it's Peter Sutcliffe. Peter Sutcliffe, he's Peter Sutcliffe in Australia. Not famous in New Zealand, presumably. Well, he said he was okay in New Zealand with the name Peter Sutcliffe. He was aware of it until Netflix released a documentary on the Yorkshire Ripper and he realized he should have changed his name when he first moved there. Oh no, oh no. Anyway,

keep being relatable and gorgeous. Looking forward to seeing Rob here on the Gold Coast later in the year. Yes, I will be on the Gold Coast. I'm so excited about that. Gobble, gobble down in Oz. Rob. Yeah. There was a guy in the front row when I did Tunbridge Wells. Yeah. I shouldn't have done this, Rob. What did you do?

He was 20. Yeah. And he was with his girlfriend who was 20, maybe, and her mum. Okay. He looked exactly like Peter Sutcliffe. Like he'd got the beard, not facially, but he had been styled a la Sutcliffe. If he was on Stars in Your Eyes, you'd come out and you'd go, that isn't Peter Sutcliffe, but that looks like Peter Sutcliffe. Yeah, and it's going to be interesting

what the song they're going to do. And at what point we're going to applaud that he does sound like Peter Sutcliffe. Presumably he'll do that taped thing that was sent. Anyway, let's not talk about Peter Sutcliffe. He had a serious head of hair, didn't he? Looks like one of the Jackson 5. So this guy in the front row looked resembled Peter Sutcliffe. You don't need to say it because no one else can see him, but I just said it. Yeah, that's a mad thing to say because obviously it's a horrible thing that he did

Well, you are saying you do realize you've got the beard and hair of Peter Sutcliffe He didn't know who Peter Sutcliffe was of course And also I'm aware of the name that if you press me on what he looked like I couldn't tell you Peter Sutcliffe. Yeah, if you said you had the hair and body of Peter Andre in the mysterious girl video I can picture it Yeah, but that's a different kind of reference. I'd say a comedy. It's a different kind of rip-up. I'd say put your top on.

For a start, you're at a comedy gig. Anyway, he didn't know who Peter Sutcliffe was. So did you have to explain who he was? No, I told him to Google it. Did you make him stand up and turn around so everyone could see that you were right? Yeah, of course I fucking did. Of course I fucking did, yeah. Not on my first rodeo.

You don't seem to have laughed laugh, so up you get. Yeah, yeah. Get your iPad out, quick picture. There you go. I was right. Now laugh. Retrospectively. I was right.

Now enjoy yourselves. And do you know, this is a warmup show, so this is of no use to me. Yeah, obviously Cubs will tour with you. Yeah. And I don't want to be followed around on tour by a man who looks like Peter Sutcliffe. Yeah, you're worried about the Leeds and York dates. Exactly. Do you know what?

James Gill. Comedy promoter and comedian? Not to keep talking about Peter Sutcliffe. You've said his name loads. He was doing the warmup for Last Leg, did a very good job. Peter. James Gill. Okay.

Last Leg. Yeah. Terrible name. Did you watch Brass Eye? The Chris Morris? Yeah. He told John McCrewick that there was a Peter Sutcliffe musical starring Peter Sutcliffe where he apologises at the end for his crimes and John McCrewick gets genuinely angry thinking it's happening. Or that thing where they're told of those celebrities about cake. Yeah, so good. What does Chris Morris do now? He's such a genius. I know. It's just not bother at all.

I don't know. Anyway. Go on. Doesn't matter. Too much suck, Cliff chat. So, last leg? Oh, he was talking to a guy in the audience who was a lot like him.

What, Peter? No, like James Gill. James Gill's got me thinking, how am I being dragged into this? Well, because he said to this guy, because James Gill was obviously born in Leeds in the late 70s. And all I heard was James Gill say to a guy in the front row, were you in the Yorkshire area in the late 70s?

Right. And I thought, because you can't be accusing people of that. No, he's got to say, accusing of it being his dad. I know. I hadn't heard the pre-vip. So all I heard was him go up to a guy and say, were you in the session? I would say your brain is dragged

towards Peter Suckers way more than the normal person. I am interested in British culture of the 70s and 90s. Crime. That's not pop culture. I didn't say pop. He was unpopular. He certainly wasn't popular culture. Did he use to be more correspondence Michael? I'd say so. Calling 999 as a kid. That doesn't help them in this situation calling 999 as

a kid. Where are you? I'm on the moors. One of the people that found one of the bodies was the guy that went on to play Les Batsby. Right. Yeah. Let's do the correspondent. Hello. You trio of absolute lads.

I'm sorry I've ruined it. I know you haven't. Just been listening to your latest episode where you mentioned kids dialing 999 as a prank. Firstly, please keep me anonymous. Yes, please. About two years ago, my son, then age 13, was starting to have more independence and hopping on local trains into Manchester with his mate.

Fair enough. One very rainy, bloody Manchester, Sunday afternoon, he texted me to say he was at his mate's house and could I go and get him in about an hour, so far so good, until I get a rather firm and urgent knock at the door. I answer the door to what I can only describe as the tallest female police

officer I've ever seen. What a detail. Mad. I'm in it. I can picture it. She's big. Because I'm struggling to think of the tallest police female police officer I've ever seen. But there we go. Yeah, I couldn't pin one down. Instantly. Okay, let's get back on the instantly. Okay, he's the I feared the worst. They wouldn't send out a police

officer that tool with good news. No, instantly I feared the worst. When she asked if my son was at home. Oh, God, I invited her in out the rain. Duck. Mind your head. That's what it turned out. Let's just say the bottom of the stairs you got space it was my son and his friend in a long coat no it's just sit on the floor cross-legged I think red come on come on I know another rain I'll be guilty down it get that explained he was at his friend's house she then asked if

I could give him a call. She'd like to speak to him. Of course I said, immediately called him. Passed to the phone, better reception up there I imagine I said. I said. Signals through the roof, hey? Along with her fucking helmet.

No wonder you chose a job where you wear flats. Makes total sense. At this point, I'd already catastrophised thinking you've been running drugs or mugging old ladies. I promise I love my son, but he's somewhat of a handful. That's a great term from a kid that's a bit naughty, isn't it? Anyway, the officer then said, you've been making prank calls, haven't you? Shall I tell your mum what you said? No answer.

And the police officer said, and what did you say your emergency was? Him, long pause. She's got long pause as well, but they're in... Big old levers on her. Reach 103 CM. I said I needed help because... This my son said yeah yeah because I got my willy stuck in the dock. Oh okay so he rang the police and told them he's got his stuff. It's good stuff. It's good stuff. That's what you call a handful. If I and the Yeah, my fumble. I get a crick in my neck.

Neck goes... It's detail that makes stuff funny, isn't it? Yeah, we both know we want to laugh, but obviously we can't. The police officer then launched into a rehearse pattern about wasting police time and rounded off her telling off with a threat of us both being reported to, do you want to guess? I don't know. The RSPCA. Oh for dog fucking. And being put on a list of people not allowed to have pets. The worst thing was we didn't even have a dog. Yeah. Obviously I was furious with him and apologized profusely for his behavior

and reassured her that he was just being a silly boy and he won't do anything like this ever again. I can honestly say parenting teenage, I can't believe they sent out a police officer. No, not one that big as well. What did he say? I whipped out a step ladder, shook her hand and she went off on her way. Ed had a sunroof of the car back to the station. Oh, absolute nightmare. The moment she puts on the siren, she's getting the light in her eyes. She can't see where she's going. She pulls back into the station. She has to walk in through the stables when they keep the oars. I can honestly say, parenting teenagers is a whole other ball game.

Parenting boys is well exhausting and based on this highly embarrassing. Thankfully, he's matured a lot since then and is growing into a very good mature young man and hasn't made any more prank calls since then thank God stay sexually relatable lads and never joke to the feds about bombing animals thanks and on absolutely not you gave the long arm of the law quite literally as you're talking I can't be ever done that yet yeah why did tell me a tall police officer anecdotes sent to me. Well, then we'll do a special. Have you ever met a very tall

police officer? We don't get any of that. Well, we sure we've got one playground shaggy. We'll do that. And this is a call out for more playground shaggy. We'll do a special.

Hello, you sexy trio. I've been listening to all the playground shaggy stories for getting that I've got a gold standard shagger story involving not parents, but two teachers at my school. When I was in year seven at my high school, a story appeared one Sunday in a national newspaper.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Turns out our deputy head teacher was having an affair with the home economics teacher and they were having extracurricular activities in his car at lunchtimes down a nearby country lane in his red VW Beetle. Oh my God. Some sixth formers doing photography A level came across them, took photos and sold them to the News of the World.

Oh my God. Who printed them for everyone to see. Fuck how different times, isn't it? Needless to say, we didn't see either teacher again, but the school was buzzing on Monday. This was in the mid-90s, way before social media, and the story going around the school was that the deputy head had bollocked the sixth former for something,

and this was their revenge. Oh my god. Thank you for keeping me sane, state secretary-related, Alex from Norfolk. Oh, there you go. And who said they're all inbred? Yeah, exactly. No, red VW Beetle rocking away.

Fucking hell. What an image. Third cousin. It's mad that we live in a world. Well, did people are still doing that? Like people are still shagging in cars. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not.

I've got a problem with that, Rob. It's mad we lived in a world where the newspaper No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, officers probably nipping off at lunchtime to have a shag in the back of a hearse. Hey, dang it, out the boot.

Do you remember when she arrives at the crime scene and they have to pull up the tape? I can't help. Get the stick. Get the long stick. She can just step over it. Yeah. She can just step over it. Step over it like André the Giant. In you can just step over it. It's fine. She can just step over it. Step over it like Andrey the Giant. In you get.

In you get. Have a little look. Oh, she's died. We're not going to be able to put enough tape around her body. Mind your head! The helicopter's coming. Mind your head! I think we've exhausted two jokes on her.

Yeah, no I don't. But, you know, our time is here. Oh, storage disaster. Should we do this one and then a small business shout out? It's been a great correspondence episode. Loved it. Hi, Rob and Josh. I love listening to the pod. I was enjoying your storage chat with Michael and his overzealous purchasing.

You asked for storage shenanigans. Father-in-law is a hoarder. He cannot get rid of anything. And I mean anything. He wanted to keep an old car, not as in classic, just as in no longer working and couldn't bring himself to get rid of it. So he contacted the local housing association to ask if they had any garages to rent. They did so.

He arranged to rent one for them at cost of 50 pounds a month and moved the car over there and stored it. He never bothered about it again after this point. Some 10 years later, we became aware of this fact and took charge and said we needed to get rid of the car and hand the garage back. My hubby went over to sort it with him. And when they opened the door, the car was gone. Oh my God.

It had apparently been stolen. We think probably very soon after it had been put there judging by the state of the garage. Oh no. So we've been paying 600 pounds a year for 10 years to store fresh air. Oh my God. Six grand. Keep up the good work.

Becks from Cambridge. My dad had a lovely old taxi, not like the new one you see now, like the old style, that had done like 250,000 miles, but I know I wanted to keep it, but I just had nowhere to store it when I lived in a little flat.

It's a shame really. Would have been nice to have kept, but then what would I do with a fucking rotting old taxi sat on the drive? Exactly Rob, you don't need that. I don't need that. You don't need that. Small business shout out, here we go. Hi Rob sat on the drive. Exactly Rob. You don't need that. I don't need that. You don't need that.

Small business shout out. Here we go. Hi Rob, Josh and Michael. Please could you give our small business a shout out? By the way, thank you to all the listeners that actually follow up on these and all the stuff. Because it's making loads of people way messaging saying, oh, it managed to pay the mortgage this month just from the orders and it's really helped. We can be out to have a holiday this year.

And not only I think financially it gives people a boost, I think it gives people a boost to go oh wow this product is actually decent I just need to get people to know about it if that makes sense so thank you for everyone that follows it up. She hasn't said it specifically but Rachel Reeves, the Chancellor, is saying that this is turning the country's economy around single-handedly. Absolutely. So we are an independent traditional sweet shop with a difference. Not only do we sell all the old and new favorites from the jars, we are also a vocational training

center for young adults with additional needs. We offer work placements to young adults to develop their skills in a real work environment. We make and sell party cones, pouches, jars, hampers, bags, and boxes filled with all your favorite sweets for any occasions. They can all be personalized. If you're looking for a sweet treat,

please check out our website, sweetfutures.shop. That's S-W-E-E-T, futures, F-U-T-U-R-E-S, dot shop. We deliver to the UK. Thanks very much, Claire, Izzy, Rachel and Angie. So that's pretty cool. So basically they get kids or young adults with additional needs in to help with working there, which is amazing.

So they get a good job and you get amazing sweets. There you go. Bonbons, I'm a lemon bonbon fan. Are you? That's my favorite, all tight, all tight. All tight, all tight. I like a blackcur Bon fan. Are you? That's my favorite old type. Old type. Old type, old type. I like a blackcurrant and licorice. Of course you do, you little warm mouth, little nan tongue.

Oh, sorry I'm not on TikTok with my fucking Lemon Bon Bons. Fuck it now. You had to buy chocolate? Have you had to buy chocolate yet? No, what's that? Of course you don't know what it is. Oh, fuck it now. You're not KSI, chill out. For someone that loves pop culture, you have pulled up a wall at 1999 and it's not come down. No, I have not. 2004. I have listened to Sabrina Carpenter's

Short and Sweet more than anyone else in the UK this year. Only because your daughter's made you? No, I do listen to it on my own now sometimes as well because it's that good. Yeah, I know, but you would never have gone near it. Only because it reminds me of Madonna and Cyndi Lauper. That's the only real reason. You would never have gone near it unless your daughter liked it or you think about your daughter's music. There is no one on earth who knows more about British pop culture, 70s, 80s and 90s and early 2000s than me. There's no one on earth. I agree with that and I applaud it, but you've pulled a shutter up at 2004. I have pulled a shutter up at 2004. You've built a wall.

You've trumped it. I've trumped it and do you know what? Because that's what shocks me about you is you're so into all these little nuances and niche things but you've pulled up a wall. Do you know what Rob? I've pulled up a wall and there's all these fucking pricks like five trying to jump over the wall and move from my nice side of the wall to the reunion side. To the reunion side.

To hang out with Bevo. Yeah, exactly. Do you know Bevo? Pick a fucking team. No, of course I don't know Bevo. Bevo's got big fake teeth and when he eats food, he doesn't really chew it properly and just swallows it in one go and he's a TikTok star. I have a newly opened small family run hotel up in Pitlockery, Scotland, named Dunfalondy House. That's made up, sounds racist. It's on the outskirts of a beautiful town of Pitlockery,

where you can find great restaurants, locks, waterfall walks and amazing Pitlockery festival theatre. It's like I'm opening a B&B selfie something called Corprimey Diamond Giza San. Well if you think that's enough, there's some lovely whiskey distilleries as well. That is in the email. We would love to offer any listeners podcast 5% off all room food, drinks that they book to stay directly through our website.

Quote parenting hell. October is the Pitlocker enchanted forest month course is Joe I make it a year great for kids not long enough for that done Falandi dot house on Instagram a spelling that DUN F a L L a and D Y dot house thanks very much Jack right Jack Jack Josh see you next week see you next week goodbye Jack. Right. Jack. Jack. Josh. See you next week. See you next week.

Goodbye. This is Walton Goggins. The Uninvited is the new film from director Nadia Connors, starring Elizabeth Reiser, Lois Smith, Pedro Pascall, Rufus Sewell and yours truly. I need to use the ladies room. You brought the old woman from outside inside? You can't treat her like she's some grave inconvenience. And you can't treat her like your next great cause.

I want you to feel something. I feel a lot of things. You just don't want to hear about any of them. You are invited to see this Hollywood Hills psycho drama about love, loss and motherhood at London's number one cinema, The Genesis, in Whitechapel Friday, May 9th at 6.30pm There will be a Q&A afterwards Lucien De Leon is coming What happened to your utter contempt for him?

I think that's a bit strong Oh, I'm sorry, I was being kind What happened to your all-consuming jealousy? I'm over it It's been a long time. I owe you an apology. I don't need a big Mia culpa from you. He's famous for ripping apart relationships and leaves everyone in tatters. It's been so exhilarating having that kind of charm.

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